Chapter Text
Dan sat staring emotionlessly at the miserable sandwich sitting in front of him, watching Herbert ramble about their latest discovery. Discovery was an optimistic way to put it, in Dan’s opinion. The whole incident shook him and seeing Meg’s panic and the state of Dean Halsey, he was starting to have second thoughts about helping Herbert further his research.
This certainly was unethical. There was no way this was good for him. And to make matters worse, everything Herbert did was happening in his basement. God, it was his apartment. He could kick Herbert out anytime he wanted, get rid of the eccentric scientist and rekindle the close relationship he had with Meg. She had told him from the start that he shouldn’t let Herbert stay and his decision to accept Herbert’s money had only caused him to be distanced from Meg. When was the last time he had spent some proper quality time with her? Was he getting too caught up in Herbert’s fanatical ideas?
Why was he still letting Herbert stay here, after everything he had made Dan go through? Bruises and minor cuts littered his body as a result of their first experiment and was this pain necessary? He had lost so much because of Herbert West. His cat, his scholarship, his future father-in-law and was so close to losing Meg. Perhaps this was the breaking point for him, perhaps it was time to rid Herbert from his life.
Dan was barely aware that Herbert had stumbled off, bumping into the walls of the hallways before slamming the door to his room shut. He jumped, the loud noise snapping him out of his thoughts and he turned to look at the closed door, surprised that the other man had abruptly disappeared like that.
He suddenly realised that it was Herbert who had placed the sandwich before him. Yes, it was a feeble attempt and Dan probably wouldn’t have eaten it unless he was starving but since when was Herbert so caring? He had begun to recollect the events that night and recalled Herbert’s tenderness when he pulled a blanket over him, placing a comforting arm over his shivering body to make him feel safe. Dan had not realised Herbert was capable of showing care for another person and well, this was undoubtedly an oddity.
He slowly walked towards Herbert’s room, pausing to hear what the other man was doing behind the shut door. Even with his ear pressed against the door, he could not hear anything. Herbert was good at keeping quiet, reappearing behind him when he least expected it and sometimes, Dan forgot that Herbert was in the same room as him, as the other man was always so silent and focused on his work. His work… his only pride and joy.
He rapped sharply on the door, calling out to him.
“Herbert? Are you alright?”
There was a sudden sound of glass shattering and a cry of despair and worry filled Dan’s heart. He opened the door, ready to fight or yell at Herbert for breaking something but instead, he could only stare blankly at the scene before him.
Herbert was on his hands and knees, desperately trying to put together a shattered bottle and the carpet was stained with an all too familiar neon green liquid. Herbert’s reagent. A hypodermic needle lay on the floor as well, and a tourniquet was tied tightly round his arm.
“God, Herbert what are you doing?”
The thinner man abandoned his futile attempt at fixing the bottle and looked up at Dan with the most pitiful expression he had ever seen.
“It’s a weak solution, so I don’t have to sleep, it helps to keep the brain sharp.”
He got up, brushing his hands on his pants and winced when the fabric caught the skin. The glass shards had cut his palms and now they had begun to bleed profusely. His whole body was burning up, his head kept throbbing with increasing intensity and he could barely keep himself from collapsing. How long had it been since he had taken his last dosage of reagent, Herbert wondered to himself. All the while, Dan was just gaping at him, unsure of what to do or how to help him.
He pushed his glasses up his nose and swept his hair back, trying to casually walk past Dan and head to the basement and get his much-needed shot of reagent. He’d certainly reduce the amount injected as he wasn’t sure of the side effects but it was his last resort. There was nothing he could do without his reagent.
He began to take small steps, cursing himself for trembling so much and was just about to pass Dan when the taller man’s muscular arm went in front of him, blocking his way.
“Would you let me pass?” He asked, gritting his teeth in frustration. It was not the time for Dan to be asking questions and for God’s sake, he shouldn’t have come into the room without permission anyway. Well, it wasn’t Dan’s fault that he had dropped the bottle of reagent, it was his damned unstable hands, but he did not want Dan to see him like this.
“Herbert, I’m not letting you inject yourself with that.”
“It’s just a weak solution!” He protested, trying to push Dan away.
“That doesn’t make it any better! And I don’t think the reagent stored in the basement is weakened, is it? I refuse to let you do this, Herbert, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
Herbert had enough of Dan’s behaviour, since when did he care what Herbert did? He was always so busy thinking of Meg. Meg this, Meg that. He didn’t need Dan to show concern for him as he was perfectly capable of caring for himself.
“Let me pass.”
Herbert tried to make a run for it, only for Dan to grab him around the waist and pull him back as he attempted to free himself from his vice-like grip. He struggled, unaware that he had begun to desperately beg Dan to allow him to go, but Dan refused to give in. He was not going to let Herbert go, even if he kicked and fought with all his might. After a few seconds, the minuter man completely ceased his protests and slumped over, breathing heavily. He was slick with sweat, and his bloodied palms had caused both of their clothes and skin to be tainted a dark merlot.
“Please, Dan, please…” Herbert panted.
Dan shook his head, helping him up his feet and patiently bringing him back into his room. He placed Herbert onto the bed, glancing sympathetically as the other man attempted to sit up but failed, and eventually gave up.
“Don’t get out of bed until I wake you up in the morning. God knows when you last slept. And I’ll clean up the mess later. Just stay there.”
He turned off the light, walking out of the room without hearing Herbert’s plea, “Please don’t do this.” Unfortunately, he had forgotten to do anything about Herbert’s hand wounds. He smacked his forehead in irritation, but it could wait until morning, it didn’t seem that bad. His weary and dazed mind was incapable of proper rational thought, which explained his decision to aid Herbert later.
He sat in the living room, making sure Herbert wouldn’t sneak out and after about half an hour of quiet, he decided to take a shower. He stank of sweat, blood and hospital disinfectant. He certainly needed a shower.
He stood under the tepid water, rinsing the dry blood off of his arms and wincing as he prodded his bruises. Though it had probably been one of the most traumatising experiences in his life, there was something so magical about what he did with Herbert. Frankly, neither of them had time to stop and think about the beauty they had created, what with the immediate attack and Dean Halsey’s interference. He would never understand why the police bought it but then again, Herbert always had a way with words. Their interaction in the morgue was something that made Dan feel so powerful and for once, connected with Herbert. He pressed his forehead against the wall, sighing heavily. It was not good that he was admiring what he had done. He had to realise it was unhealthy.
What was he to do? He wanted Herbert to stay yet there was Meg. Meg, who didn’t like Herbert from the beginning and didn’t like their experiments. Meg. His Meg. Who was he going to choose, his girlfriend or his roommate?
He suddenly noticed that the water had gone cold and he quickly shut the tap. He hadn’t realised he was standing under the water for so long and the water bill was surely going to go up. He began to dry himself with a towel, just pulling up his pants when he heard a loud ‘thud’ coming from Herbert’s room.
Not again, he thought to himself. He hoped Herbert hadn’t knocked anything else over, the bottle was already a mess in itself.
He strode over to the room, opening it up, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the complete darkness but when it did, he noticed that Herbert had curled into himself at the corner of the room, shaking furiously.
“Please, please don’t kill me! Oh please God, no…no,” Herbert whimpered to himself.
“Herbert?” He asked worriedly, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder but the other man frantically pushed him away, begging incoherently. From what he could make out, Herbert was telling him to stop and leave him alone. His eyes were still tightly shut, and Dan shook him by the shoulder, exclaiming loudly, “West, wake up!”
Herbert’s eyes shot open and he stared at Dan with a horrified expression, cold, nauseous sweat running down his temple and tapering at his jaw. He was soaked to the bone with sweat, his shirt moist and he was shivering.
“Oh God, Dan. Don’t look at me,” Herbert moaned, covering his face with his palms and fruitlessly attempting to wipe the beads of crystal off his face. Dan watched in utter shock and confusion, was he alright? He wanted to give Herbert his privacy, yet he couldn’t leave him in this state.
He wrapped his arm Herbert, gently lifting him up and onto the edge of the bed, keeping that strong arm around him to support him and for once, Herbert didn’t push him away. The smaller man was uncontrollably shaking, hands trembling and eyes watery. His skin was burning hot to the touch, and Dan was sure he was running a fever. He kept that arm wrapped around Herbert in an awkward embrace, eventually leaning into it and tucking Herbert closer to him. The other man’s head was resting on his shoulder, and Dan could feel the warm tears trickling down his bare chest.
“God, Herbert, what happened?”
He sniffled, bitter noiseless tears mingling with the fevered sweat. “I don’t sleep, Dan. I don’t like to. The reagent helps keep me awake, and I need it,” he stuttered. “I need it like you need…” He trailed off before finishing his last word, “Meg. I need it like you need Meg.”
His tone was so pitiful and helpless that Dan felt all his grudges break and his cold exterior drop. What could possibly make Herbert so emotional? It was most likely withdrawal symptoms that caused the chills and the fever but his emotional and mental state was another issue.
“How long have you been using it?”
“Far too long for my liking.”
His responses were curt and abrupt, and Dan could tell Herbert was trying to stifle his cries and prevent his shaking but his attempts did not work. Surprisingly, he did not try to move out of Dan’s hold and stayed as still as he possibly could.
“Herbert, tell me honestly, are you having nightmares? Don’t feel embarrassed, it’s just me, Dan. I’m here for you.”
“Oh God, Dan. I see his face when I sleep and don't want to see it.”
“Who?” He pressed, tenderly stroking the nape of Herbert’s neck.
“Carl Hill. I dream that he wants to steal my work and every time I resist, he kills you in front of me. He hates you, Dan, just as much as he hates me. He wants you gone. I can feel it when he looks at you.”
Immediately, Dan’s blood turned cold. Carl Hill wanted him gone? Now that was news to him. He had always respected the doctor but clearly, the feeling was not mutual.
“Herbert, what did you do to irritate him so much? Aside from humiliating him when you were first introduced.”
Dan was hoping to earn a laugh from Herbert, but it was evident the man was serious. He was conscious of how small Herbert’s physique was, though short and seemingly thin, he could feel the muscles through his shirt. That explained his ability to drag corpses around and fend off any aggravated test subjects.
He found himself leaning more and more into the embrace, bringing his body closer to Herbert’s. The young man’s head lay delicately on his shoulder with Dan’s arms wrapped round his torso and chest. He could feel the other man’s racing pulse and his heartbeat pounded harshly against his ribcage.
Herbert didn’t seem like he wanted to talk and Dan wasn’t going to dwell on that. He’d speak when he was ready.
“Let’s get you cleaned up. I have bandages in my bathroom.”
He led Herbert into his room, letting him sit on the foot of his bed as he picked up some cold wet towels and first aid materials. He sat next to Herbert, unbuttoning his shirt, carefully paying attention to how he would react. There were no protests, only little snivels and the occasional whimper.
He discarded Herbert’s blue button-down in the laundry bin and was suddenly aware of the injuries he had sustained during Rufus’ attack, along with those from the hospital. Lurid viridescent and deep purple bruises covered his back along with long gashes that were sluggishly starting to heal. It looked painful.
Dan tentatively sponged his forehead, wiping away the sweat and tears. Herbert shivered, eyebrows furrowing into a frown as he poutily complained, “It’s so cold. Can’t I have a blanket?”
“You’re horrible at taking care of yourself. You have a fever, and this will help reduce your temperature. Now give me your hands, so I can clean them.”
He sat on a stool and soaked Herbert’s hand in water, watching as ripples of dark red mingled with the transparent liquid. He carefully wrapped his palm with gauze, trying not to look up into Herbert’s piercing stare. He could seriously freak people out with that scrutinising glower.
“Does that not hurt?” Herbert asked, nodding towards the bruise on Dan’s face.
“This little thing? No, not really. I mean it did, but it’s more of a dull throb now.”
Herbert continued to look at him, tilting his head curiously as Dan kept the first aid materials and sauntered back. He sat next to Herbert, cheekily removing his glasses and placing them on his bedside table.
“Dan! I can barely see anything, do not be annoying!”
The usual Herbert was almost back, and his commanding tone made Dan laugh.
“Good to see Herbert West back.”
He slowly cupped Herbert’s cheek, swallowing heavily when the man’s eyes seemed to focus on him. His intelligent penetrating eyes now had a softness to them, as they flitted from Dan’s face to their surroundings.
Dan slowly moved forward, lips parted slightly and he whispered against Herbert’s lips, “May I?” Herbert nodded, letting Dan press his lips against his own. Gentle. That’s the only word he could use to describe it. He moved with a muted passion, kissing with such caution, yet it was filled with so much devotion.
Herbert had never kissed anyone before but despite his nagging aches and pains, his throbbing headache and stinging palms, he was glad it was Dan. Perhaps it was on impulse, perhaps he would kick him out immediately after but he was thankful for one moment. One moment he would forever remember.
Cold lips met hot ones, and a flicker of hope was kindled in both Dan and Herbert. Maybe, just maybe, they could make this work. Dan wanted nothing more than to kiss Herbert furiously and never let him go. Enraptured in the moment, he forgot about Meg and everything he had loathed Herbert for. He could not think of a single word to put down the man, realising that he believed in Herbert and his experiments. Ethical or not, they were creating new life. Just like this kiss created new life for the pair.
Dan finally pulled away, glancing at Herbert’s rosy lips with a small smile before grabbing one of his shirts and pulling it over the other man’s head. It hung loosely off of him, but Dan assumed it was comfortable.
“To keep you warm tonight,” He said, smiling nervously.
“Thank you. For everything,” Herbert got up, ready to head back into his own bedroom but Dan reached out and held him by the wrist.
“You can stay here. I mean, your room isn’t the safest place for you right now, what with all that broken glass.”
He scratched the back of his head apprehensively, awaiting Herbert’s response. The smaller man numbly nodded crawling into the side of the bed before dozing off. Dan would keep an eye on him tonight and every night from now onward.
He left the room, trying to close the door quietly, but a soft voice called him back.
“Will you stay? Just for a while?”
It was so soft Dan almost missed it. Almost. He walked back in, shutting the door with a faint click so the room was plunged into darkness with only a sliver of light peeking through the curtains.
He crawled into the bed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling, a gap between him and Herbert. Though they did not talk, the words unspoken hung heavy in the air. Both of them weren’t entirely sure what had just happened. It was a pleasant kind of shock, however, not the traumatising kind. Dan didn’t consciously realise it but as he turned on his side, he moved nearer to Herbert. Comfort, to put it simply. Both men had their backs facing the other and though they wanted to shift closer, they were scared for they did not know what reaction they would gain. Despite the questions that flooded his confused mind, Dan must have been more exhausted than he thought he was because before he knew it, merciful sleep had pulled him under.