Chapter Text
Hanumanasana, or “Monkey Pose” - A difficult yoga pose where a practitioner does a full split with one leg forward and one leg back. It recalls a story in the Ramayana where Hanuman, a god depicted as a monkey, took a leap of faith for his friend.
Bruce released a slow breath and brought his leg and arms down from the tree pose. It was about 7:37 in the morning, and he was alone in the penthouse gym. He wasn’t living on the run anymore ( Not even close ), but some habits—like morning yoga and meditation—died hard.
It wasn’t just to help him stay calm and centered anymore. It felt good, and he liked doing it. He didn’t need essential oils or nature sounds or incense or any of the stuff Tony teased him about. Just a quiet room with enough space for a sun salutation and enough privacy for some deep breathing.
...and with Tony’s penchant for poking and zapping him when he least expected it (and that one memorable time with the water pistol), Bruce needed at least one hour of serenity in the day.
He normally did his yoga routine in his apartment, but today, he’d felt like changing things a little. (Which was odd for him, but also kind of a nice feeling.) And no one else had been in the gym, which made it pretty much perfect.
A few poses later, Bruce was doing a headstand when he heard something above him.
He frowned. The floors in Stark Tower were pretty good. Tony probably had a really good acoustician on board when he designed the building, because even in the gym, Bruce had never heard noise from the floors above.
So... what made that noise?
He swallowed and his legs wobbled a bit. Yoga wasn’t the only habit that died hard; Bruce was still hyper-aware of random little noises that could mean someone was coming after him.
Maybe I should have just stayed in my room...
Still upside down, Bruce steadied himself and took another deep breath.
In.
Out.
I’m safe here. I’m safe.
In the minute that followed, there were no more noises, so Bruce shrugged it off.
After Bruce finished his headstand, he decided to shake things up a bit more and do a full split, something he usually saved for the end of his yoga routine.
Wow, really living on the wild side, Banner. Yoga in the gym and now doing the splits early?
Bruce smiled to himself and slowly dropped into a split with another deep breath.
“WHAT THE HECK?!!!” someone shouted, with a loud bang in the middle of the sentence.
Bruce jumped and felt his thighs protest. From above him, he could hear what sounded like muffled cursing and then a shuffling noise.
Bruce steadied himself and looked up, recognizing the voice but confused by the source.
“...Clint?!”
The grate in the ceiling vent fell open and Clint Barton dropped out of it with angry grace, rubbing the back of his head.
“How in heck are you so flexible?!” Clint exclaimed, gesturing furiously as he stood up.
Bruce swallowed. “Uhh…”
“How the… GYAH!!!”
Clint punctuated his sentence by throwing both arms into the air. Then he stormed out of the room, leaving Bruce—still in the splits—alone and bewildered. As Clint slammed the door after him, Bruce looked up again.
Has that ceiling vent always been there?
-0-O-0-
A little over 30 minutes later, Bruce had changed into his regular clothes and was walking into the communal kitchen to get some breakfast. He immediately saw that Clint was in there, deep in a rant to Tony.
“I mean, how the heck is that even possible?!” Clint was saying.
“Look, Cupid, pics or it didn’t happen,” Tony replied, with that infuriatingly calm expression that was always on his face when he knew he was being irritating.
It had been less than two seconds since he walked in, and Bruce already had a sense that he should go make tea somewhere else. He started to back up, but bumped into someone.
“Oh, hey, Dr. Banner,” Steve said, as Bruce jumped a bit and muttered an automatic apology. Bruce found his eyes flicking towards Tony, knowing that his “billionaire-genius-bestie” (Tony’s words, not his) would have heard him and wasn’t going to just let him slip away quietly.
Tony’s eyes were indeed trained on Bruce, just as he’d expected. Tony finished his sip of green smoothie and nodded at him.
“Green Bean.”
Bruce swallowed, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to get out of this now.
“Uhh…” he said. Wow, very articulate this morning, Bruce.
Tony gestured at Clint as he put his smoothie down. “Robin Hood here says you were doing a full split this morning.”
Oh, you don’t have to be a guy with 7 PhD’s to see where this is going…
“Yeah,” Bruce said, wringing his hands.
“You can do that?” Steve asked, sounding surprised and delighted.
Bruce swallowed again. “Yeah.”
“What’s going on?” Thor asked, walking in from the opposite door and immediately heading for one of the cabinets.
“Banner’s basically a contortionist and he’s never told anyone,” Clint said, jabbing a finger in Bruce’s direction.
Thor frowned as he opened a box of Pop Tarts. “A what?”
“Uhh... it’s not contortionism,” Bruce protested quietly, wringing his hands some more. “I’m not that flexi—”
“Dude, I saw you doing the freaking splits!!” Clint said, gesturing crazily again.
“Is a contortionist some kind of wizard?” Thor asked.
“Nah, it’s a circus act where someone basically ties themselves in knots because they’re so dang flexible,” Tony replied.
“Oh, okay,” Thor said, with a shrug.
Huh. I guess they have contortionists on Asgard?
“Wait, what’s happening?” Natasha asked, walking in from the same direction Thor had.
Bruce facepalmed.
“Look, I’m not a contortionist, it’s yoga!!” he exclaimed, before anyone else could ask. “I don’t understand why it has to be such a big deal! Seriously, I turn into a giant green monster when I’m angry and this is what surprises everyone?!”
Everyone stopped talking.
Oh, wow. Was I actually that loud? Bruce felt embarrassed and apologetic, but also a little proud of himself. Usually, it took him threatening to turn into the Other Guy to shut people up.
Tony (of course) was the first to break the silence.
“Okay, for the record, I didn’t actually know you do yoga, I just guessed.” He took another sip of his smoothie.
Then he smirked as he put the drink back down.
“I think the real issue is that Cupid’s mad because you’re a science geek and therefore you shouldn’t be able to outclass him in something physical.”
Clint had adopted a neutral poker face, but there was still a glint in his eye that practically screamed “Tony’s right, Tony’s right!”
None of Bruce’s IQ points knew what to say to that. What is it about my brain that makes it go blank at times like this?
“Wha… I… He crawls around in the vents!” Bruce protested, pointing at Clint. Anything to draw the attention away from himself.
Tony shrugged. “Yeah, I already knew that. Who do you think put the extra vents in?”
Curse you, Stark.
Tony stood up and stode around the kitchen island to Bruce. He slung an arm around Bruce’s shoulder.
“So… When do we get to see you show off your mad skills, Yogi Bear?” Tony asked, with an infuriating grin.
“Mmf…” Thor swallowed the Pop Tart in his mouth. “I wish to see this “yoga” as well.”
Steve and Natasha both nodded and murmured agreement.
Oh, this was what Bruce had been dreading. Now that they all knew he did yoga, of course they wanted to see him do yoga.
And Bruce had never enjoyed performing.
I should never have left my room.
Bruce immediately began to run through his options.
Be really clumsy while I do it and hope everyone just thinks I’m an uncoordinated nerd?
Not likely to work. They’ll know I’m faking, and Clint won’t let it go.
Do yoga like I would normally do and hope everyone leaves me alone after that?
...Tony will never leave me alone.
Hide in my room and have JARVIS lock the door?
Tony will override the lock.
...Move back to Brazil?
Bruce sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
I have officially lost my mind and it’s probably lurking somewhere in Tony’s coffee maker.
Bruce decided to choose the path of least embarrassment and just show them what he could do.
Worst case scenario, they tease me a bit. Tony already teases me about plenty of stuff. What’s one more thing? ...Maybe it’ll even be a bonding moment.
“...Fine,” Bruce grumbled, scrubbing a hand across his face. “I’ll show you guys. Just let me grab my sweatpants.”
“That’s my science bro!” Tony said, slapping him on the shoulder.
-0-O-0-
“Seriously! How the heck do you do that?!” Tony exclaimed, poking Bruce in the foot and making him twitch.
Bruce carefully dropped out of his headstand, feeling relieved when his feet touched the lounge carpet (because that meant they were now out of Tony’s immediate reach). He straightened up and shrugged.
“Practice,” he said. “Living on the run, uh... you’d be surprised how much spare time I had.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And, y’know… Having a hobby helps my mood.”
“Makes sense,” Tony said with a shrug. Then he waved a hand. “Okay, enough chit-chat, show me the splits.”
Bruce felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth when he saw Steve rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, he’s doing this just for you, Tony,” Steve muttered.
“Of course he is,” Tony muttered back. “He’s my science bro. You should’ve called dibs before I was born, Old Man.”
Bruce couldn’t help a small huff of laughter as he carefully dropped into the splits. Before the Avengers, people talking about him while he was present had always been a cause for fear. But coming from these guys… It was just banter. It was safe. It even felt good.
He was still avoiding making eye contact with anyone though.
Once he was completely in the splits, Bruce heard a low whistle.
“Holy crap, you weren’t kidding, Cupid,” Tony said.
Bruce looked up, suddenly curious.
Tony’s eyes were wide, and he looked genuinely surprised.
Bruce found himself looking at the others one by one, a tiny part of him wanting to see their reactions too.
Steve’s eyes were wide and the corners of his mouth were slightly quirked upward.
Natasha, arms folded, shared Steve’s expression.
Thor’s mouth was hanging open, but he was still smiling.
Clint still had his poker face on, but his eyes had gone a bit wider.
Oddly enough, Thor was the first to break the silence this time.
“Yoga seems a worthy pursuit,” he said. “Would you consider teaching me, Dr. Banner?”
Bruce’s eyes widened, and he felt his small smile go back into hiding.
“You want me to… Thor, you can bench-press a car,” Bruce said.
Thor shrugged. “Well, yes, but I can’t do that ,” he said, gesturing at Bruce’s current position. “And “bench-pressing,” as you call it, has nothing to do with the flexibility so obviously required for this yoga. I like learning new skills, and I would be honored if you would teach me.”
Bruce swallowed. “Uhh… sure. Okay.”
“Not to put you on the spot, Dr. Banner, but maybe you could teach all of us?” Steve asked.
“Uhh…”
Bruce felt himself blushing. Oh, great. Now I’m inarticulate and pink.
He swallowed.
His mouth hung open for a second as he tried to think of a response.
“...sure,” he said.
On a scale of 1 to nuclear disaster, how bad have I just doomed myself?
Tony clapped his hands.
“Okay, great! Team bonding via yoga tomorrow night at 7!” he said. “You guys down?”
There were scattered murmurs of affirmation.
...Yep, nuclear disaster.