Chapter Text
Is it wrong to live your life as you wish? Is it wrong to have the desire to love someone?
Hyunwoo never wished to be born like this. Hyunwoo also couldn’t choose who will be his loved ones. Destiny determines the course of his life. But is Hyunwoo wrong if he wants his loved ones to always stay by his side forever? Is it fate not allowing him to love someone?
He didn't know what was right and what was wrong anymore. It was the world that was too cruel to him.
There was a time when the second gender became the boundary of the world. When Hyunwoo was born into the world, the mother said how happy she was when the laboratory results stated that Hyunwoo was an alpha child candidate. It wasn't like his mother didn't want his son to be of another gender, but his mother is an omega and she knows how the world became cruel to her.
His mother is one of the luckiest people who find a mate as gentle as his father. He is so firm but caring. He is also tough but wise at the same time. Hyunwoo loves both of them more than the world.
Hyunwoo's childhood life was the best he had ever experienced. If he compared himself with his friends, then Hyunwoo would express his gratitude to his parents over and over again. Their family life is good and there is no shortage. The father is a doctor and his mother was a victim of sexual violence who was treated in the hospital which now belongs to the father. Both of his parents always fulfilled Hyunwoo's needs but that fact didn’t turn Hyunwoo into a spoiled child. They educated him to be a responsible man, an independent man, and also a protector. One of the reasons is because Hyunwoo is an alpha who is destined to become a protector of those around him.
Little Hyunwoo is a kind child. He did not hesitate to share his food supplies with his classmates. He also likes to play with anyone regardless of their gender status or even their financial situation. All the children and the teachers liked him.
His father always said the same thing to him, “You must be a man who protects anyone around you, your friends, your family, your teacher and especially Omega who will be your partner in the future.”
Little Hyunwoo didn't really understand the meaning of his father's words but he nodded enthusiastically and said “Of course, dad. They are my friends. I will protect them!” Little Hyunwoo also did not understand why the figure of an omega was always the main topic of his father's conversation with him when his mother was sick and locked herself in the room for days without the slightest stepping out, not even for eating. And it became worse when his father didn’t present because of his emergency jobs.
And then one day, Hyunwoo was so happy even though he didn’t really understand why he was happy as his father said to him, “Hyunwoo, for now on, you’ll have a younger brother. He’ll come to us soon.”
“Really? I’ll have a—?” Little Hyunwoo exclaimed but slightly had difficulty due to vocabulary limitation. His eyes were sparkling with joy back then. As Hyunwoo remembered, one of his classmates told a story about the arrival of a baby boy in their family, and the baby is so sweet and adorable. Little Hyunwoo was envious when he heard that story. He wanted to have a baby brother or sister too so they could play together.
“Yes, my son. Are you happy?” His father crouched down to his eye level and gave him a soft stroke on his head. His father slowly took his hand to bring him inside the hospital patient room and there his mother sat on the bed wearing patient pajamas. “Mom!” Hyunwoo shouted as he ran to his mother. He wanted to hug her but he was too small back then so he couldn’t get high enough to hug his mother until his father carried him up to bed.
“Hyunwoo.”
His mother had been hospitalized for about one month because of her pregnancy complications. Little Hyunwoo missed her so much and his father was busy so he rarely took him to the hospital and also due to that reason Hyunwoo was mostly entrusted to daycare. But his father always made sure to give him attention and need even though he was so busy and his mother was absent.
“Mom! Mom! Listen, Dad said I’ll have it!”
His mother chuckled as she kissed his plumpy cheeks. “Have what?”
“Broth her!”
His father laughed so hard as his mother tried to hold her laughter. Hyunwoo’s pronunciation and vocabularies were getting better each day tho. “Brother, my sweety.”
“Yes!” Hyunwoo was so chubby back then because he loves to eat especially chocolate, candy and drink so much milk. His cheeks were bouncing as he jumped on the bed but his father forbade him to do that because his mother's condition was still not good. “When will he come? Where is he? I want to meet him now!”
His mother was slightly pale and Hyunwoo paid attention to it and wondered. “You can’t meet him now. Because he is sleeping now in here.” His mother showed her enlarged stomach due to the pregnancy had reached almost 5 months.
“Inside Mom’s belly?”
“Yes,” His mother nodded weakly and smiled, “The baby is sleeping inside my belly.”
Little Hyunwoo was so curious. He stared at her mother’s belly as she rubbed it gently. “How come? The baby is coming from Mom?”
The father patted his tiny head and little Hyunwoo turned his attention to his smiling father, “Hyunwoo. The babies are coming from Omega. Your Mom is an omega. The babies are cute and adorable. So you need to cherish them. Do you want to see how cute they are?”
His eyes were rounded with excitement. “Yes, Dad. I’ll cherish them! And play with them!”
“Do you want to hear the baby’s sound?” His mother gave a signal to his son to get closer. Hyunwoo was so overwhelmed with many kinds of feelings as his tiny fingers touched his mother's belly. It felt so funny but he didn't know why he was so happy, especially when he put his ear to the belly. Let's say it was only his imagination but he clearly heard something inside the belly. Those sounds made him so excited to meet the baby soon.
But Hyunwoo didn’t realize at first how hard his mother’s pregnancy was back then. She was often back hospitalized as her complications got worse in each trimester. She was experiencing such extreme nausea and vomiting that she couldn’t eat her food and was severely dehydrated. Sometimes she was also recommended to bedrest for weeks so she couldn't take care of Hyunwoo's needs. Little Hyunwoo was so sad as he witnessed his mother vomit all her guts. There was blood too seeping out along her legs. He was waiting and praying for his mother and his little brother to come back healthy.
His father realized that his son was worried about the mother. After picking him up at daycare, the father invited his son to talk about his mother's condition. “Hyunwoo, your mother will be fine. So don't be sad.”
“Dad, please fix Mom. She's in pain. Is my brother okay? Did he accompany Mom while Mom in the hospital?” He asked as he squeezed his bear plushie around his small arms.
“Of course, Hyunwoo.” His dad patted his head slowly. He was trying to look at his son’s eyes which have been teary since their return from daycare. “Mother went through all of that so your little brother will stay healthy and meet you soon. Do you want to meet him?” His father asked with a gentle and patient tone. He knew that Hyunwoo was so sensitive back then.
Hyunwoo nodded weakly.
“Listen to me, Hyunwoo. You have to take care of your little brother. Invite him to play and protect him no matter what. Just like your Mom is doing now. She is in pain to protect your little brother.”
Little Hyunwoo didn’t understand the relationship between his father’s words and his mother's condition well. It was too complicated for children his age. But he was sure about something. At that time, little Hyunwoo realized that his mother was working so hard for his little brother. And he promised himself that he would protect his little brother as a substitute for his father and his mother. He won't let his mother go through the same pain.
It was winter when Hyunwoo heard a baby crying so hard behind the glass window in the hospital. Hyunwoo looked at the tiny things writhed in his little bed and his face was so red. The baby’s crying was so loud and made so much noise around them but Hyunwoo was enchanted. The baby, his little brother, was so tiny, sweet, and adorable. He was the cutest thing Hyunwoo has ever seen. His cheeks were so puffy and similar to a pork bun. He didn’t have much hair and also teeth yet—Hyunwoo could see it as the baby crying and carried out to somewhere.
“Dad! My little brother is crying. We need to bring him outside to build a snowman.”
“No, Hyunwoo. He’s too small now for a snowman. He will catch a cold.” His father was smiling while holding Hyunwoo’s hand as long as their way to his mother’s room.
Hyunwoo was so excited to meet his little brother closer for the first time. As expected, the baby was more adorable in a closer look. The baby couldn’t open his eyes yet; it was only a small blinking. His tiny fingers were scratching in the air and Hyunwoo tried to touch them— oh my god it was so soft and tiny and cute and wonderful and Hyunwoo lost his battle with vocabularies. Hyunwoo smiled so wide as those fingers grabbed his index finger and squeezed it gently. He couldn’t explain the burst out feeling inside his small body when he saw his little brother yawn and reveal his short tongue and toothless mouth. It was so mesmerizing!
“He’s so cute, Mom, Dad. Thank you. What is his name?” He turned to face his father.
“Kihyun.”
Hyunwoo looked back to his little brother and giggled.
“Kihyun. Kihyun. Kihyun. Kiki.”
It was the moment when Hyunwoo swore to God that he will protect his brother no matter what. Because he was such a miracle to little Hyunwoo.
Since then, Hyunwoo has never felt lonely again. His mother was always at home and took care of Hyunwoo's needs and even accompanied Hyunwoo to study at pre-kindergarten. The father of course is always busy with his work but he always takes time out on weekends to spend family time with their new member. The thing that made little Hyunwoo even happier was the presence of his little brother in the room next to his bedroom. Although sometimes Hyunwoo woke up in the middle of the night because of the sound of his crying that broke the silence. At that time, Hyunwoo would get up from the bed slowly so as not to fall and his little hands grabbed the doorknob to the little brother's room.
“Kiki, don't cry. I'm here.” He was struggling up to the baby cribs. It was too high for him. Unable to reach it, Hyunwoo finally peeked at his crying brother through the wooden baby cribs. His little hands were trying to reach out to the smaller hands and caress them. His face was squeezed between the wood. It was the most thrilling moment for Hyunwoo because the moment his little brother's hand grasped his finger, his crying stopped. Hyunwoo was beyond happy. His little brother knew he was there for him.
“Hyunwoo?” His mother came and rushed to the baby cribs.
“Kiki is crying, Mom. He needs candy.” As Hyunwoo’s hand escaped from his little brother’s grasp, baby Kihyun was crying again. His crying sounded like he was afraid of the night and he needed his older brother to stay with him. Hyunwoo was gloomy as the baby cried harder. “Kiki, I’m here. I’ll give my nunu bear so don’t cry.” Sometimes Hyunwoo forgot to bring toys for his younger brother. So he will give his beloved teddy bear to him.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Mom will do something. You can go back to sleep.” His mother took the baby from the baby cribs and carried him. Her body swayed here and there and she hummed to soothe the baby.
“But Mom, Kiki wants me to stay.” He tugged her mother's pajama pants in a cute way to get her attention.
“You have to go to school tomorrow so you have to go back to sleep, son. Kiki is going to sleep with Mom tonight.” The sound of the baby's crying grew louder. It seems that he woke up from a nightmare. The mother moved her body like a swing and patted his baby's bum gently.
Hyunwoo looked down sadly. He also wants to accompany his younger brother. The mother smiled.
“Sweetheart,” The mother walked over to the sofa for one person near the baby cribs and sat slowly looking for a comfortable position for her and her baby. “Do you want to say goodnight to Kiki?”
Little Hyunwoo nodded excitedly. He ran to the sofa and tried to crawl up on his own without the help of his mother because the mother was carrying his brother.
His little brother's tears flooded on his tiny cheeks. Hyunwoo wiped the trail of his tears a little bit harshly because he didn't know how to control his touch and then he gave a kiss on the soft cheek bun. His brother has a funny smell like a mixture of milk and baby powder. Hyunwoo giggled as he smelled it. After that, the mother also kissed his plump cheek and said goodnight. The baby Kihyun was writhing in the arms and his tiny hands clenched into fists cutely.
“Goodnight, Kiki. I love you.”
The baby Kihyun was a brand new world for little Hyunwoo. He was so attached to the baby. He loved everything his little brother did even when he was peeing on Hyunwoo’s hand as he tried to calm him down by petting his cute bum. It was so disgusting at first and Hyunwoo would scream to his mother, “Mom, Kiki is naughty. He peed on me.” But it turned to a wide smile as his little brother was giggling as he watched his older brother protesting to their Mom.
Hyunwoo was so happy to have a cute little brother like Kihyun. He would stick to him everywhere and watching everything he did such as crying, drooling, and sneezing. Baby Kihyun was a cheerful baby. He played with Hyunwoo’s nunu bear, swinging it in the air, giggling happily, and then threw the bear stuffed somewhere on the floor. Sometimes he vomited the baby porridge and the milk he had just consumed to Hyunwoo’s hands.
Hyunwoo loves his little brother’s giggling sound. It echoed into the room and made the room filled with happiness as his parents were there to play with them. They would take some family photos and display them around the table using a small frame. In the photo, baby Kihyun was sitting on Hyunwoo's lap and the two brothers laughed together.
Kihyun was growing each day and Hyunwoo witnessed his growth. It was such a wonderful moment how he spoke his first word. His parents were expecting the baby would say “Dad or Mom” in his first word, the same as baby Hyunwoo—he said the combination word of Dad and Mom as he giggled: Dam. But surprisingly, baby Kihyun was saying something different and it was “Uu!”. At first, they were quite confused due to the loss of understanding the baby’s language but finally in the end the mystery was solved: Baby Kihyun always said “Uu!” when he needed Hyunwoo’s attention. The word “Uu” was the short version of “Hyunwoo”.
The first time he was able to walk was also an unforgettable moment. His footsteps were so weak so Hyunwoo needed to guard him everywhere and sometimes he hit his head on the floor or table. Baby Kihyun would be sobbing harder if Hyunwoo didn’t hug him and caress his fall spot as he said “The table is so bad, I’ll punch it for Kiki.” After that, Kihyun would laugh loudly when he saw his brother fighting with the table in the living room.
Kihyun was growing taller day by day, he could fit Hyunwoo’s pre-kindergarten uniform. His puffed cheeks became more fluffy as he chewed his jelly beans. His hands were growing bigger and bigger, and Hyunwoo could hold his hand as they were walking together to the school. However, his footsteps were still short and wobbly. Hyunwoo was in elementary school back then. He always took and picked him up to pre-kindergarten as a substitute for his mother. Since then, the two brothers had never been separated.
“Woo hyung. Kiki tired.” Little Kihyun whined—his whining voice was so damn cute—as he stopped walking when the sun was so burning to the skin in the early summer. His butts felt so hot as he sat on the asphalt, he was about to cry. His vanilla ice cream was melting and falling on the ground. His face was so red due to overheating. His hands were bigger than before but still, it was so cute as his fists formed and brushed over his watery eyelids.
“Hang on, Ki. Hyung will carry you.” Hyunwoo crouched down and his back facing little Kihyun. Kihyun stopped crying when he saw Hyunwoo's back and he slowly crawled up his older brother's back. His cute fluffy arms wrapped around Hyunwoo's neck. His palms and arms were so sweaty due to the sun's heat and Hyunwoo tried his best to bring him home as soon as possible because that day was the last school day before summer's holiday. Even though his footsteps were so shaky when he was carrying the weight of his younger brother's body, Hyunwoo still tried to carry him all the way without a single break.
The summer holiday was his favorite holiday time. His father would take a leave for a week to spend their holiday together. They would be swimming together, playing with fireworks, and then preparing for a barbeque at night. Before they could play on the backyard field, Hyunwoo needed to finish his summer homework and then he helped Kihyun to write some letters or draw something using his colorful crayon. At the same time, his father was preparing a plastic pool that will be filled with water in the backyard, while the mother was busy cutting some fruits including Kihyun's favorite watermelon.
“It's a pool!” Little Kihyun ran to the plastic pool and brought himself to the pool without taking off his clothes. His little fingers tried to catch the water and he giggled as he felt the cold sensation.
“Be careful, son. Take off your clothes. It’s starting to wet.” His father helped him to take off his hamster shirt and sweatpants as Kihyun couldn’t wait to throw himself into the refreshing water.
Hyunwoo walked over to the pool while taking off his clothes impatiently. He needed to taste the cold water on his skin before it turned hot because of the sun's raging days.
The water from the hose was flowing fast. They play together. Laughing together. Splashing water at each other, running, and jumping here and there. That day was a fun day, the day Kihyun could finally swim in the shallow pool without Hyunwoo's help. Finally, Hyunwoo noticed that his little brother was growing up the same as him.
“Kihyun will begin his elementary school soon. We must immediately prepare his medical documents.” The father said as he bit a piece of watermelon. At that time, Kihyun was about to fall when he tried to get out of the pool and Hyunwoo caught him before he fell.
“Is he going to be alright? I'm starting to worry, darling.” The mother placed his head on his husband's shoulder as she sighed worriedly.
“It’s gonna be okay. He has a reliable older brother. Hyunwoo will definitely protect him until he finds his mate.” The father stated as he kissed his wife's temple.
“Yes, he will. And we need to educate him about Kihyun's gender starting now before he reaches puberty stages.”
“Yes, we need to prepare everything from now on.”
A few months after he turned into a Middle School Student, Hyunwoo was starting to notice something was changing within his body. He could see something moving inside his neck as he swallows and when he asked his father, he got an interesting answer: “We called it Adam’s apple. It will appear as one of the signs of puberty.” Sometimes he was so curious and tried to pay attention to some of his body’s parts. Hyunwoo noticed how his shoulder became broader. His body grew taller in no time. His voice cracked and slowly turned deeper than before. His chubby face gradually evolved to become thinner. There were so many soft hairs growing in his body such as on his face, in his armpits, or even in his genitals.
Hyunwoo had reached that phase.
Puberty was an interesting mysterious thing for teenage Hyunwoo. He couldn't wait to reach the phase because of his curiosity over his father's words : “Puberty is a significant process of sexual maturity. It shows you are slowly entering adulthood. And when that time comes, your responsibilities as an alpha will begin.” He couldn’t wait to be a real adult so he could protect everyone around him—his parents and his adorable brother Kiki. The puberty phase was also the most time he waited in his life back then because his father finally told him about his younger brother's sexuality.
“Hyunwoo, do you remember what I said before?” His father once called him to his office room. Hyunwoo and his dad sat next to each other on the sofa. His father patted his shoulder lightly as he continued, “About alpha, omega, and beta.”
“Yes, Dad. I’m an alpha.” His father was quite surprised as he saw how his son became more confident over himself and how he spoke was more than enough to prove that he is the growing alpha. “Kihyun is an omega and there is no Beta in our family.”
“Could you differentiate them now?” Hyunwoo shook his head. Even though he had entered the puberty phase, his ability to smell pheromones had not yet fully emerged. He couldn’t tell them physically other than when they told themselves about their gender. But in a sense, his nose started to feel more sensitive than usual. He could smell the scent of pine lingering around his father and the scent of spices of cloves clinging to his mother.
“Listen to me carefully, my Son. This is important for you. Do you know your role as an alpha in society?”
“To be the leader and protect the others.”
“Good,” His dad stroked his hair gently, “Do you know my story with your Mom?”
He shook his head once again.
There was a time when his mother nearly had another alpha as her mate. But suddenly everything was turning around and became the enemy to his mother. Her ex-lover was a jerk. He sold her heat period in exchange for abundant money. Besides that, he also tortured his mother sexually. All the bad things that happen also remind his mother of her childhood who was bullied because she is the only omega in class. She got so much pain until finally, she met his father. They love each other like their gender is supposed to be.
“There are so many bad people out there, Hyunwoo. Don’t be like them. Maybe your mother is the luckiest among the omegas because she met me and then has a reliable son like you.” His father patted his son’s thigh. “We will age as time goes by. The only one who can protect Kihyun is you until he finds his mate. It’s the same way for you, you have to be a good alpha to your mate in the future. Protect them, cherish them and love them. Be a human, Hyunwoo.”
Mate —A term that still sounded so foreign to Hyunwoo's ears at that time. Maybe it's because he was a teenager and hasn't thought of getting there yet. But after listening to his father's words, Hyunwoo understood that the existence of a good mate for his younger brother was what the father wanted the most and Hyunwoo would do anything to achieve this for the sake of his younger brother's happiness.
Hyunwoo was so happy as he grew taller and bigger. Because he could carry Kihyun easily at that time. Kihyun was so small compared to his teenage state and it made his younger brother look cuter than ever. The sensation was the same as the time when he was a pre-kindergarten boy and Kihyun was a baby.
Because they went to an educational foundation school, the elementary and junior high school buildings are only a few blocks apart. It really made the siblings happy because they were able to spend more time together than before. Every day, Hyunwoo took Kihyun to his class first and then he would rush to his own classroom in the building next door. Sometimes during recess between class hours, Hyunwoo would come to Kihyun's class and invite him to buy snacks in the canteen.
Hyunwoo's teenage life was filled with new friends but it didn’t make him forget the existence of his little brother. Plus, Kihyun really depended on Hyunwoo in everything and clung to him all the time. Sometimes Kihyun also waited for Hyunwoo to finish his swimming extracurricular activities. They were never separated and Hyunwoo never thought of being separated from his younger brother no matter what.
One day, Kihyun came to the junior high swimming pool as he was sobbing so hard and looking for Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo was overwhelmed when he saw his brother's cry getting louder and he hugged Hyunwoo's legs tightly. In recent days, Kihyun was so whiny compared to usual that his older brother had to keep an eye on him all the time. Until finally that day, Hyunwoo found out why. Kihyun was bullied by his classmates since the physical examination and education classes were held. This happens because some children in his class said that Omega is a weak and weepy human. It turns out that this does not only happen in his junior school days, but elementary school students are already doing the same thing.
“Woo Hyung.” His arm held Hyunwoo's neck as his older brother carried him on his back. They went home together and Hyunwoo carried him all the way on his back so that his little brother could be cheerful again.
“Yes, Ki?”
“I don't want to be an omega. Mostly my classmates are alpha and beta. I want to be like Woo hyung.” He said innocently. His sobbing voice could be heard vaguely.
“It can't, Kiki. Don't say something like that. Do you know how beautiful our mother is?”
“Yes, she is pretty!” Kihyun bounced his body and Hyunwoo almost lost balance. He laughed.
“Of course. The reason why our mother is so pretty is that she is an omega. Omega is a beautiful human. They love the other wholeheartedly and they’re bearing cute babies like you.”
“Really?” Kihyun exclaimed happily. “Ah, that’s why Jooheon said that Changkyun is so pretty! Because he is an omega!”
“Jooheon? Changkyun?”
“Um! They’re my juniors and my best friends!”
“Really? Does my Kiki have best friends now? Woo hyung is happy then.” Hyunwoo exclaimed as he patted his brother’s thighs.
Time flies so fast. Even though puberty was an interesting thing, It was also a terrifying phase as Hyunwoo woke up in the morning and he felt his pants were so wet and damp. The wetness also spread around his blanket and bedsheets. There were sticky liquid things coming out from his penis and Hyunwoo screamed hysterically as he saw it. His mother rushed to his bedroom and asked what happened to him. There was a strong sweet sandalwood scent lingering around the room and it became more intense as Hyunwoo panicked. He produced so much sweat that time.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It's a common thing for a teenager like you.”
His mother's words calmed him down a little, but the incident was still in his mind. It felt so weird and ridiculous especially when those white liquid came out of his body without being asked. At night, his father came to him and explained the phenomenon he was experiencing: it turned out that he experienced wet dreams. It was then that Hyunwoo felt his inner alpha roar in the body as if it was going to spill out. His sniffing ability reached the maximum level to the point that he could detect the arrival of his parents before they arrived at the door of Hyunwoo's room. However, that ability had no effect on Kihyun because his little brother was a kid.
Since that moment, Hyunwoo's body underwent more drastic changes. His body muscles began to form, especially because Hyunwoo participated in several types of sports extracurricular activities at his school. His facial turned from cute to handsome. His height exceeded the height of almost all teenagers his age. His appetite increased dramatically. And the shocking thing was his genitals grew bigger and longer than before.
It was the first shocking moment but then there was another thing. Hyunwoo was terrified to death as he witnessed something strange happen to his omega classmate. She was a wonderful female omega. She was so clever and graceful. One day, Hyunwoo saw some of his classmates bring her to a sports storage room and he witnessed her being molested by his classmates. Of course, as he promised to his parents, Hyunwoo stood up before them and helped her because he is an alpha. Alpha should be a protector, especially for the omega. Hyunwoo had so much a strong presence and a bigger build than them. His pheromone production was out of control as he was angry.
After that, he accompanied her until their teachers came. While waiting, the girl suddenly fell to the floor. He clutched his stomach tightly. She said “It so hurts” when Hyunwoo asked what happened to her. She looked at Hyunwoo with a begging face asking for help. He didn't understand what had happened. A strong and sweet scent burst into Hyunwoo's nose. Hyunwoo's still-developing body felt a strange reaction. It messes up his mind. He gulped nervously. Hyunwoo almost forgot where he was and what he did there. There was such a strong urge to touch the girl. Yes, the girl looked so... whatever —Hyunwoo couldn’t explain it well. Then, the teachers came in panic. They carried the girl right away from there. One of the teachers approached Hyunwoo and allowed him to come home early.
It was the first time Hyunwoo understood the term “heat”. The girl was so in pain and Hyunwoo didn't know what he was thinking at that time. She didn't come to school for a week and sometimes she looked so pale and weak. But back to the reality that his younger brother will experience the same thing, Hyunwoo was terrified.
Teenage life is so complicated. Hyunwoo found many new things that surprised him. Sometimes he couldn't find his true self in that new world. He thought a lot on his own and questioned extraordinary things. But when his younger brother came and asked him to play, Hyunwoo came back to himself. Kihyun's figure is a determinant of Hyunwoo's decision.
Kihyun entered his middle school days when Hyunwoo was a high schooler. At that time, Hyunwoo was so happy that Kihyun grew up healthy. Their parents also gave them so much educational information about their sexuality as Kihyun entered his puberty phase. They were still in the same school facility and were only separated by the junior and senior high school buildings. Therefore, both of them stick together most of the time like a pair of chopsticks. It was a routine for Hyunwoo to take Kihyun to his class. He would hold his younger brother's hand while Kihyun was humming along the way.
But Kihun’s puberty was so confusing for Hyunwoo. Instead of becoming bulky like himself, Kihyun was growing taller yet slender and so fit with everything. His hair became so silky and shiny as Hyunwoo tried to caress it. His hands were still tiny compared to Hyunwoo’s but looked so fit on Hyunwoo’s grasp. His cheeks still chubby and adorable, Hyunwoo couldn’t hold himself to pinch them. His lips became the color of the pink rose. His smile captivated the heart as he grew up. Hyunwoo loved Kihyun’s giggling voice since he was a baby but at that time something was changing as Kihyun’s laughing voice rang in his ear softly and attacked his brain.
Hyunwoo didn’t recognize those feelings. But still, he was a teenager and Hyunwoo knew it so well how his feelings flitted around since his puberty. His curiosity towards everything was unbearable. That’s why he always wondered about something around him. Hyunwoo tried to compare Kihyun’s condition with his omega classmates. Well, they became prettier each day. So maybe it was omega’s body development. Hyunwoo stopped paying attention to it. Because finally, he realized: Kihyun grew up to resemble his mother while Hyunwoo grew up to resemble his father.
Someday, Hyunwoo kept wondering as Kihyun did something to him. It was a common thing between them since their childhood days. So it was supposed to be nothing. But it felt so different at that time. It happened when Kihyun was struggling with his homework and he asked Hyunwoo to help him.
“Woo hyung, help me with math,” Kihyun whined as he pulled Hyunwoo’s hands and brought him to his bedroom. Their bedrooms are side to side, same as their childhood days but then the bedroom and the decoration became a more young adult theme.
Kihyun's study desk was filled with so many school books. There were the family photos, Hyunwoo and Kihyun selca photos, and Kihyun’s friends' photos displayed on the desk. There was also Hyunwoo’s nunu bear sitting on the edge of the desk leaned back to the wall. Hyunwoo was smiling as he saw how clean and neat Kihyun’s bedroom was because he was a messy kid before, and he depended on Hyunwoo about almost everything.
“Show me.”
“I’m stuck with this trigonometry.” It was basic trigonometry for third-year junior highschoolers like Kihyun and Hyunwoo was done with them back then. But well, even though he hated it, Hyunwoo still remembered them as his bad memories. He is an alpha so he has excellent brain work.
“There are some formulas you can use for this,” Hyunwoo brought another chair to sit behind Kihyun because his body couldn’t fit between the gap of the desk and Kihyun. The next thing he did was searching for those formulas in Kihyun’s textbook and then show them to his younger brother. “Here. These formulas. Think carefully which one you can use for this problem.”
“Okay, I’ll try it. Please watch me if I’m doing it wrong. Because this material will show up in tomorrow's exam.” Hyunwoo nodded. Kihyun was a fast learner, he could catch Hyunwoo’s direction instantly. He just needed some push when he was stuck. As Kihyun was writing in his book, Hyunwoo kept his eyes on Kihyun’s every movement. He just noticed that his younger brother was getting so prettier compared to a few days ago. He started to smell like cinnamon around his neck as Hyunwoo tried to peek at his book. His eyelashes are so curvy and long, they became so enchanting as his eyes kept blinking. His fingers were so slender and made the pencil look cute when he was holding it.
“Hyung? Hyung?” Kihyun shook his body. Hyunwoo went back to real-time suddenly. “Where are you looking at?”
Hyunwoo wasn’t used to it. Kihyun smelled like a freshly baked cinnamon cake with a little bit of apple sirup. It seemed so sweet and delicious as Hyunwoo tried to imagine it. Even though he smelled like baby powder and milk when he was a baby.
Kihyun stared at him confusedly. His orbs were sparkling and dazzling. His pointy nose was a little bit red. And his rosy lips had a gap between them.
“Nothing. Did you change your perfume? You smell so sweet.”
Kihyun was more confused as he said that. “No.”
Suddenly, Hyunwoo remembered something. Some terrifying moments in his early puberty stages, it was around Kihyun’s age at that time. “Okay.” He forced a smile.
“Look, did I solve it?” Kihyun shifted his book so that it was easier for Hyunwoo to see it. But because the portion of Hyunwoo's body took up too much space, he was forced to lean his body forward. At that time, Kihyun's shoulder touched his chest. At that moment, Hyunwoo realized that Kihyun's body fits perfectly in his body cage. Same as the first time Hyunwoo saw little Kihyun in a closer look and he landed a kiss on the cheek to say goodnight.
“Good. You’re smart.” Hyunwoo said as he rubbed his younger brother’s head. Kihyun was chuckling as he got the compliment. Well, Hyunwoo always complimented him and Kihyun always tried to find a moment when his older brother would compliment him.
“Okay.” Kihyun closed his book and put them on the shelf. “I’ll try to sleep faster because tomorrow is the day!” He shouted cheerfully and then turned his body to facing Hyunwoo. “Thank you, Hyung.”
It was such a shocking moment even though it was supposed to be a common thing between them since their childhood. He did it to Hyunwoo. Kihyun leaned closer, his warm breath ran along Hyunwoo’s cheek, and his rosy lips gave him a peck. Hyunwoo froze in the place. His brain couldn’t even think and his hands clenched as he tried to hold back something under his ego. “Good night, hyung.” He said it as he moved to his bed and left Hyunwoo there with a damaged brain and a fighting identity.
Hyunwoo laid on his bed as he tried to remember the sensation on his cheek the moment Kihyun kissed him. There was a huge urgency to touch Kihyun, yes, any kind of touch was needed. It also made Hyunwoo remembered about the girl on his first heat when Hyunwoo presented there. Hyunwoo was scared, so scared if Kihyun experienced those moments. It seemed so painful, and maybe there was someone witnessing him entering his heat, and that someone may have felt the same thing as Hyunwoo’s feeling back then. It couldn’t be happening. Hyunwoo wouldn’t let it happen. As time went by, Hyunwoo was more clingy to Kihyun. He really kept his eyes on this younger brother anytime anywhere and any other kind of any. Hyunwoo put too much of his own scent around his younger brother unconsciously as if Kihyun was his sacred property.
But the moment he was scared of the most never came. Hyunwoo didn’t understand why. Even until Kihyun was a freshman high schooler and Hyunwoo was a college student. His parents also wondered the same thing but they found out that maybe Kihyun was a late bloomer. It also didn’t come until his second year even though his best friend Changkyun experienced it first and Jooheon as beta helped him to get home as soon as possible. But something was wrong, Kihyun kept developing to be a beautiful creature. His profile was the prettiest omega he ever saw since even his friends hadn’t had the same thing. There were so many eyes keeping on him. Hyunwoo knew it so well because he was there witnessing some of them trying to get closer with Kihyun when Hyunwoo came to high school several times to prepare some documents for his college references.
Hyunwoo was devastated as he knew that he couldn’t keep his eyes on Kihyun forever because they had separated ways as Hyunwoo became a college student. They couldn’t be together like before. They couldn’t spend time together as before. They would have their own life as if they were strangers to each other. And then the worst time came: Maybe Kihyun would forget about him.
“Woo hyung,” Kihyun crawled over to his bed in the middle of the night. Hyunwoo was about to sleep after he finished his paperwork. His body jolted as he felt some weight on his back as Kihyun lying facing his back.
“What’s wrong, Ki? Cannot go to sleep?” He moved over to facing Kihyun. They laid on their side and stared at each other. Hyunwoo realized how cute Kihyun's chin was at close range. He has been adorable since he was a baby.
“Hum,” He nodded weakly. His hair was hanging beautifully on the pillow. “I miss you.”
It was right. Hyunwoo missed him so much too. Their lives have never been this distance before. They always did something together. They went to school together while holding hands. They had fun together. They went to eat somewhere after school and many more. Almost everything.
“Me, too,” Hyunwoo said it as he put aside his younger brother’s bangs. “How are your school days?”
“It’s bad because there is no you,” Kihyun pouted as Hyunwoo’s fingers brushed over his earlobe and played it gently.
“It can’t be helped right? We’re far apart now. But we can meet at home.”
Kihyun wasn’t used to it. He couldn't get used to it. He spent more than 60% of his 24 hours with Hyunwoo before and then it was a sudden shock when they suddenly became so far apart. “I know. But still, I miss hyung.” He stared sadly at his older brother.
Even though Hyunwoo felt the same thing too, Hyunwoo is an older brother and an alpha. So he needed to do something an older brother should do. “You’ll get used to it later.” No, it was his second year of high school life but Kihyun still couldn’t get used to it. “There are Jooheon and Changkyun, right? They will play with you.”
His younger brother’s face became sour so sudden. He sighed in annoyance. “They ignore me most of the time.”
Hyunwoo raised his eyebrows at the confession. His hand was busy caressing Kihyun’s soft cheek. “Why?”
“Please listen, Woo hyung.” His face scrunched. He got up by the elbow and looked into Hyunwoo’s eyes from a higher position. His free hand swinging in the air signaling some annoyed gesture. “They’re dating now and they forget about me.”
Hyunwoo chuckled, Kihyun looked so desperate as he told his older brother about his best friends. “It’s not surprising news to me.”
“What?” You’re so mean.” Kihyun punched his shoulder as Hyunwoo was laughing his ass off. His younger brother took both of Hyunwoo’s pillows for revenge and hugged them tightly so Hyunwoo couldn’t lie his head on the pillow. But it wasn’t a problem for him. His strong arm was presented there so he laid his head on his arm while looking at the annoyed face.
“How about you, Kiki? Do you have someone you like in your school?”
Such a weird question for Hyunwoo at that time but he couldn’t help but ask. Since his middle school days, Hyunwoo had no interest in dating someone even though he was quite interested in some omegas around his school. Maybe one of the reasons why are Hyunwoo busy with his extracurricular activities and of course busy accompanying his younger brother.
Kihyun hugged the pillows so tight and sniffed the scent around them. “No.” His colorful orbs were peeking hesitantly to Hyunwoo. “There is no one like Woo hyung.” He diverted his sight in another direction.
Hyunwoo couldn’t explain how happy he was when Kihyun said that. Was it normal for an older brother to feel that way? Yes, it was normal. A good older brother figure would become a standard for his Kiki to choose a mate so his heart was touched so deeply. Hyunwoo once again ran his finger into the omega’s hair and messed it up intentionally as the realization of his happiness.
“Hyung.”
“Hm?”
“If someday you found your mate or at least you’re dating, you won’t ignore me, right? You won’t forget about me, right?”
Kihyun always demands Hyunwoo's attention since he was a baby. He used to love throwing nunu bear in any direction so Hyunwoo would run and pick it up for him and then bring it back to his grasp. Even when he was in elementary school, Kihyun often acted tired so Hyunwoo would carry him on his back until get home. Kihyun would jump on his body and make Hyunwoo almost fall over. Or sometimes, Kihyun cried and said that his fruity jelly beans ran out so Hyunwoo can get it for him secretly because their mother forbade him to eat snacks before dinner time. Yes, Kihyun always does annoying things like that but Hyunwoo never protested and gave whatever he wanted. Maybe Hyunwoo was wrong for always doing things like that to him so that Kihyun grew as a spoiled child even though it wasn’t the case. Kihyun did those only to Hyunwoo. He didn't even do those in front of their parents or the others.
“Yes, I won’t.” His sight wandered around, looking intensely to his younger brother’s side profile. His fingers ran smoothly from the hair to the ear, to the temple, the freckles, to cheek, and ran down dangerously near to the corner of rosy lips. It was so endearing. It was so, so, what was it again? Hyunwoo forgot his intention as the thin lips formed a wide smile so finally, Hyunwoo’s fingers accidentally touched it—it was so soft and inviting.
“Hyung, can you kiss me? Maybe I can sleep if you do that, same as before.”
“No,” Hyunwoo shook his head. His consciousness floated in the air. His gaze stuck to the slight gap between the lips and he wondered about how warm the thing inside it. The soft breath blew across his fingers that touched the corner of his lips. He adored it so much. “You’re not a kid anymore.”
“Please just one more time. I won’t ask you again. Please hyung.”
Hyunwoo's pride and ego escaped the cage. They were polished to the point of stunning and shining because Kihyun kept begging him to kiss him. In fact that is what usually happened when they were kids. There was nothing strange about it. Yes, there was nothing to think about.
“Okay.” Hyunwoo didn’t hesitate to lean closer to the pinkish face. Kihyun smelled like a cinnamon milk tea. “Stop begging and don’t do it in front of the others.” His plump lips attached to the cheek. It was so soft and it became so bouncy as Hyunwoo gave little pressure on it. Hyunwoo realized there wasn’t anything different from children's cheeks, it just felt more and more good in its simplest way.
Kihyun nodded, he could feel shiver throughout his body as Hyunwoo’s voice got so deeper as he leaned closer. Kihyun took a peek, Hyunwoo’s eyes glistening with an unfamiliar rushing feeling. His lips were dangerously close to the corner of Kihyun’s lips. Kihyun suddenly could smell the mighty sandalwood scent around him. Their gaze locked each other. It shouldn’t be happening. There was such a great wall that shouldn’t be jumped over.
But it was too late. Hyunwoo kissed him on the lips and Kihyun was enjoying it as he closed both of his dazzling eyes. There was a soft smacking sound as their lips joined and it became more intense as their tongue collided. He couldn’t stop licking and sucking the soft thing. The curiosity paid off after his tongue crossed the slight gap between Kihyun’s lips. Moreover, his actions caused a delicious moan from the younger. It felt so sweet, so good, so incredible, so alluring, so arousing, so addicting. Hyunwoo’s inner instinct rose up as if he was hunting prey. His hand slowly ran to Kihyun’s side body, down to his waist and hip, and there were more—he tugged at the slender thigh until their pelvis rubbed against each other. He wanted it to be closer, deeper and if it could, felt good. Their action was out of control. The heart was in the first place, the body was in the second and the logic was left behind. Kihyun let himself melt under the touch, his body reacted to its maximum potency and looked for more close contact.
“Hyung, Woo hyung.” Kihyun whispered into the kiss. He was heavily panting. He intertwined his own fingers to Hyunwoo’s slowly. He buried his nose on his brother’s neck exactly after the moment their lips parted and inhaling Hyunwoo’s scent full of his heart content. Kihyun’s body shaking and curling up to Hyunwoo’s. He was searching for the right harbor. Hyunwoo’s left behind logical thinking was rushing to the first place as his nose sniffed the bursting out cinnamon tree scent in the forest.
Hyunwoo was shocked to death as Kihyun kept clinging to him and kneading his shirt in an intimate way. Those familiar terrifying feelings. He was doing something bad. He was doing something unforgivable. Hyunwoo had jumped over the great wall. He got up abruptly, screamed in pain and made his parents wake up, and rushed to his bedroom.
“Hyunwoo, what happ—Honey, hurry up!” His father shouted in a panicked state and his mother came as fast as lightning and shocking as they saw Kihyun sniffing around Hyunwoo’s neck and some slicks seeping out and wetting his pants. And it flooded around Hyunwoo’s bed sheet.
Hyunwoo was frozen in place. He didn’t dare to look at his beloved younger brother even though watching Kihyun’s face was his favorite thing to do. His mother tried to separate them but Kihyun wrapped his arm around Hyunwoo’s neck tightly.
“Kihyun, let your brother go.” His mother forced him to lose his grip on Hyunwoo’s shirt. “Sweetheart, please.”
“No, no.” His voice was smooth and hoarse. He weakly shook his head and then pushed his mother. “It smelled like hyung here.”
Hyunwoo was gasping while trying to hold his urge to look at Kihyun. He had difficulty breathing and swallowing. It was a traumatic moment.
Their mother pulled Kihyun with all her might. Due to the unstable body condition, Kihyun could be easily forced to follow the flow. The mother dragged him to another room that was specially prepared for emergency situations when Kihyun's time had come.
“Let your mother take care of him.” The father was so worried as he noticed Hyunwoo experiencing the long-awaited moment. Hyunwoo produced so many aggressive yet defensive pheromones at that time. His father guessed it was the result of a shocking moment. “What’s happening? Why is he here?” Hyunwoo turned his attention to his father. His expression was so shocking with widened eyes to the point it couldn’t be easily read by his father.
“Kiki—he said that he couldn’t sleep so we’re talking—and then,” Hyunwoo gulped as his father’s eyes glistened with curiosity and demanding logical answers. But he was so confused. He couldn’t possibly say that they were talking and ended up kissing and making out, and then Kihyun was out of his mind. “—suddenly he was like that.”
The father's tense expression relaxed. He walked over to his son and patted Hyunwoo's stiff shoulder. “It's okay. I know it was shocking. I was shocked too when I saw it for the first time.” He smiled to calm his son's panic state. After all, he had just gone through confusing adolescence. “That's why I told you to protect those around you, especially omega and Kihyun. Because they're almost losing their mind as their heat comes and there are so many bad people out there who possibly try to take advantage of it.”
“Yes, Dad.”
And Hyunwoo was one of those bad people. And it became worse when his father left him alone in the silent bedroom with a cinnamon scent hanging around Hyunwoo's body.
He covered his face with one hand. Because the other hand felt wet and slick on the bed sheet produced by Kihyun.
Hyunwoo was desperate. He felt so guilty. He tried to erase the incident from his mind but it was so hard. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't ignore something raging under his pants. If only he wasn't wearing baggy pants, maybe the father would have noticed the mound was forming boldly under the pants.
It was painful but felt so fucking good when Hyunwoo's hand, which was wet from slick, touched and massaged the hard thing in his crotch, especially when Kihyun's moaning voice flashed through his mind.
It was the first time he touched himself while imagining his own sibling lying beneath him, looking at him with pleading eyes, panting in calling his name and begging for affection.
He had failed to fulfill his responsibilities.
Hyunwoo lost his pride and confidence as an older brother.