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It was a Saturday afternoon, Bruno Bucciarati was given a day off. He usually spends time walking around town helping a few people, enjoying a walk or sitting around in restaurants. But he wasn't feeling like any of them today. Perhaps more… idling activity. Something to save money.
Cooking was the first thing that came to mind. Bruno smiled at the thought of making his favourite but rarely eaten food - meatballs. He could luckily still remember the recipe by heart and off to the kitchen he happily went.
The kitchen was fairly sized and had just enough equipment to cook food. He and his teammates were given this house not too long ago and they've been loving it since. No time for reminiscence, he has a job to do. A job more important than the ones he did in his entire life.
The ingredients were as follows: Meat, breadcrumbs, milk, garlic, onions, herbs and spices, parmesan and eggs. Luckily, they were all standard ingredients in a kitchen. As he began to mix the ingredients, Narancia walked into the room.
"Oh, hi Bucciarati!" Narancia exclaimed with a smile and a small package in his right hand. "I'm gonna cook some ramen, it'll be fast."
Narancia took a pot from the pantry and began to fill it with water. Bruno didn't let it get to him - his meatballs were more important. The stove turned on with a click and Narancia turned to Bruno and gave him a smile.
"Just pretend I'm not here, Bucciarati!"
And that he shall do.
Not even a few minutes later, Fugo barged into the room, yelling. Normally, Bruno would be concerned and stop it from escalating but not this time. Perhaps, letting it be is a better choice. Much more, when had he not yelled in the house? Bruno could care less, meatballs were priorities.
"NARANCIA YOU BETTER RETURN IT THIS INSTANT!! MY ASS IS GONNA BE-"
Came another stomping into the room, this time filled with boiling rage. Bruno didn't need to turn his head, his peripheral view gave him all his answers. After all, who else in this house has pink hair?
Bruno took the next step and began to separate his mixed batch into small pieces. This was so it'll be more manageable for the next very delicate process. He could hear Trish's shrieking and hitting noises from behind him but shrugged it off.
"FUGO! NARANCIA! I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASSES!!" Trish's voice was beyond pissed off, she could explode any time. "GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING HAIRSPRAY!!"
"NOOO-" Narancia's screams were cut off by hitting noises. Bruno wasn't inherently concerned.
It was time for the very delicate process - shaping the meatballs. As he began to roll one, a certain man with long white hair walked into the room with a wine glass in hand. Instantaneously, Bruno was immensely annoyed.
How can Leone Abbacchio just stand there minding his own business? He dares distract him by simply standing there? How atrocious. His day is going to be ruined if he continues to stand there.
"Leone, I'm gonna need you to-"
Abbacchio walked away. Bruno sighed in relief. So his day wasn't going to be ruined, a smile grew on his face. He was already performing the third step, two more and his labour will be paid off.
After rolling the first ball, he heard a sudden loud wailing from behind him. Bruno isn't concerned, it was Mista. Most likely had something to do with number 4. Or some other superstition, he could care less.
"WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THAT CURSED NUMBER?!" Mista continued yelling. "IT'S NOTHING BUT BAD LUCK!!"
So Bruno was correct, it does have something to do with number 4. What a coincidence he was rolling his 4th one. He stayed quiet about it, and wouldn't want the walking quilt man to go sobbing more.
"There, there…" Giorno comforted him, giving him a few light pats on the head. "I'm sure it's not that bad, Mista."
"BUT IT IS!!"
Bruno ignored the following noises after that, which mostly consisted of Mista's wailing, Leone's grunts and sarcastic remarks, punching noises, GE's activation noises, a few more punching noises, Giorno's stand cries and screams from various people in the room.
Bruno dropped the meatballs carefully into the heated oil, plopping them one by one. It was starting to smell really good, Bruno was proud of how he still remembered all the steps by hand.
"FUGOOO!!"
"I CAN'T HELP YOU NARANCIA JUST RUN!!"
"STOP BEING LITTLE BITCHES AND GIVE IT BACK TO ME! SPICE GIRL!"
A crash was followed by a squishing noise. Sounds of various punches were mixed into the yelling chaos. Fugo was cursing and Narancia began to yell apologies.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the kitchen, Mista was still wailing and crying. "MY LIFE IS RUINED!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S REAL, GIORNO!!"
"It's fine, Mista… I promise it's not-"
A punching noise.
"I'm gonna get your ass, Giorno. Just you wait."
Another punching noise.
"I'll hold your hand for the rest of the day, just don't worry." Giorno gave Mista a smile and Mista's crying started to subside.
"Wow, how gay of you." Abbacchio retorted.
Bruno carefully took them all from the pan and onto a plate. Voila, it has been finished. Time for his reward. Ignoring the burning smell, Bruno carried it carely to the table.
"TRISH WAIT- PLEASE!!"
"WHAT?!"
"I THINK MY RAMEN IS BURNING!!"
Sure enough, the stove was on fire. Their asses were toast.
Bruno was blissfully trying to eat his fine creation.
Narancia summoned Aerosmith but at the same time, Gold Experience and Spice Girl were flying towards it. The pot was thrown off the stove and the fire was taken out, it had nothing in there except an odd black remnant in it.
Aerosmith tipped a few plates to the ground, Spice Girl softened all of them before they could crash and Gold Experience turned them into plants.
Unfortunately, a single plate flew away to Bruno's head and all of his meatballs fell into the floor.
The room fell in silence, Bruno turned around and gave them all a smile before it quickly turned into a face full of rage. Oh no.
"STICKY FINGERS!!"