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“You look fiiiine,” Nanon drawls, and Tay catches him rolling his eyes as he says so. The sixteen year old is leaning against the doorframe with arms folded across his chest, very evidently judging him.
Tay ignores the kid, removes the jacket he’d just put on and moves to rummage through his closet again. He’s changed five times and nothing looks remotely fine . His clothes are either for gym or for work, which he has been told, makes him look uptight. Not that he can do anything about that. He’s a civil rights litigator after all, and he is uptight -- it just comes with the job.
It shouldn’t be this hard, really, but Tay never shops for clothes he won’t wear because he doesn’t have the time to wear them anyway. Between work and taking care of Nanon, his free time is few and far between.
He sighs and drops the dreary blazer on the floor. “Maybe this is a bad idea and my wardrobe is telling me so.”
“Dad,” Nanon says, eyes narrowed. “It’s your first date in, what, like 20 years?”
Tay turns to him and glares. “Eleven. I’m not that old, Nan. But maybe I am too old for this,” he sighs and gives himself a lingering look at the mirror. “I’ll call and cancel-”
“Dad!” Nanon moves to take his phone away just as he pulls it out from his trousers. Nanon puts his hands over Tay’s shoulders so they are facing their reflections in the mirror. Tay is once again surprised at how tall Nanon has gotten, and in a year, he might even be towering over Tay.
“Yes, you took me in when I was five,” Nanon starts to say, as if reading Tay’s mind. “I’ve been your world ever since and I grew up with you telling me that all you need is my love, blah blah,” he pauses. “But Dad, I’m sixteen now. I even have a part-time job. You’re still young, only 45?”
“Thirty-five,” Tay elbows him lightly. Nanon laughs.
“You’re 35 and you haven’t gotten laid in 11 years.”
“Language.”
“It’s true though,” Nanon rolls his eyes again. Teenagers . “You need to find someone at some point. I’m not going to live with you forever, you know that, right? Soon I’ll be off to college and you’ll be all alone in this house.”
Tay lets out a deep sigh and feels a little sad about that. Nanon is right and he knows it. Tay would be lying if he doesn’t admit that it gets lonely sometimes, even when Nanon is enough to make him happy.
And to be honest, Tay really wants this to work out. It’s not everyday you meet someone you feel could be it.
“You’re taking me shopping as soon as the mall opens tomorrow,” Tay acquiesces. The look on Nanon’s face is downright mischievous.
“You’re going to be a whole different person when I’m through with you, Dad.”
He works at the flower shop across the street from Tay’s office building. The place sticks out like a sore thumb in the rigid concrete district, a colorful dot amongst tall skyscrapers and structures that house many of the country’s top companies, firms, and offices. So much so that the pastel pink and blue streaks of the store’s walls could be seen all the way up from Tay’s glass windows on the 22nd floor.
It’s convenient, though. Every 17th of the month Tay leaves the office at five o’clock, making sure he has no appointments lined up for the next two hours. This is common knowledge in the office, and for five years since he made junior partner in the firm, it has always stayed that way.
Then Tay walks into the flower shop across the street and orders the same thing: a bouquet of sunflowers.
After five years of ordering the same thing on the same day every month, the store owner, Edna - a sweet woman in her 50s - had stopped offering other types of flowers and made sure that a sunflower bouquet was ready by the time Tay walked through that door.
Six months ago, however, Edna stopped working there and someone else took her place.
“A bouquet of sunflowers please,” Tay tells him the first time they meet. Tay has never seen him before, and he briefly wonders if Edna is okay.
The man looks at the wall clock, then at Tay, and smiles. “Five oh five. She was right, you’re never late.”
Before Tay could respond, the man walks from the counter and through a door. Not a minute later, he emerges with sunflowers. They look a little different from how Edna used to arrange them. This time it’s just a yellow bow that ties the stalks together, the petals nestled in white mesh. It’s simple, perhaps even better, Tay thinks.
“Thank you,” Tay tells him as the man hands the flowers over to him.
“You’re welcome Mr. Vihokratana,” he replies. The man’s eyes follow Tay as he walks out the door and disappears into the corner.
“Is Edna okay?” Tay asks in January, right before he heads out with his fresh bouquet of sunflowers. It’s been 2 months since he last saw Edna, even when he threw peeks inside the store for any trace of her on random days when he happened to pass by during lunchtime. Instead, it’s the man in front of him he sees every time.
The man leans his hands on the counter. “She’s more than okay, she’s retired.”
“Oh,” Tay mouths, feeling just a tad disappointed. Five years of walking into the store with Edna greeting him cheerfully had made Tay very fond of the woman. “I wish I could have said goodbye.”
“I’ll let her know,” the man says, smiling brightly. “She’s my Mom after all.”
“Oh,” Tay repeats. He didn’t know Edna had a son, but he sure did get his mother’s smile. “Thank you, um,” Tay pauses, his eyes scanning the man’s shirt for a name tag but finding none.
“New,” the man supplies. “My name is New, Mr. Vihokratana.”
“Tay,” he says, extending his hand. “Just call me Tay.”
New’s handshake is firm. And for a second Tay wonders how he can create the most delicate bouquets of flowers with those hands.
When February rolls in, Nanon begs Tay to let him get a part-time job as soon as the semester ends. The kid doesn’t need it, what with Tay giving him more than enough spending money to keep a sixteen year old happy, but Nanon insists he needed to spend his school break learning something. How could Tay say no to that?
He’s a good kid, and while Nanon has pretty much grown into his own man, Tay takes a little pride in the boy he raised.
Tay sees the sign by the flower shop entrance and stops in his tracks. Brilliant.
New looks surprised when Tay walks through the door.
“It’s the seventh,” New speaks, his eyebrows furrowed. “Right? I’m pretty sure it’s not the 17th yet.”
Tay flashes him a sheepish grin. “It’s about the signage on your door.”
New nods, crossing his arms. “I thought you were some hotshot lawyer, Tay. Thinking of switching careers? I should warn you it’s not going to pay as much.”
It takes a couple of seconds before Tay gets the joke. He lets out a rather embarrassing laugh that fades awkwardly. This is why Tay’s colleagues never joke around him. New smiles anyway.
“My son, actually, is thinking of getting a part-time job while school’s out and I was wondering if you could maybe give him a shot? He’s sixteen and very smart. Knows nothing about flowers but he’s a fast learner.”
“Your son,” New drawls. Tay wonders if the drop in New’s voice is all in his head.
“Yes, my son. I could let him come by tomorrow if you’d like to interview him?”
“I suppose I can,” New replies with a shrug. “Let’s see what your boy’s got.”
Nanon talks about New and his co-part time worker Ohm all throughout dinner the next day. He’s excited, and Tay is happy that New had been kind enough to hire him.
Nanon eagerly tells Tay about different flowers and their meanings and how New has an encyclopedic knowledge of all things plants. Ohm is also his age, but attends a different school. Unlike Nanon, he already has some experience with flowers, which Nanon tells him he found to be intimidating at first. But Ohm was nice enough to show him some of the things he knows about flower arrangement.
“It’s all so pretty and fascinating,” Nanon says and Tay agrees. “Thanks for letting me get this job, Dad.”
On the 17th, Tay receives the bouquet directly from his son.
“Nanon arranged that himself,” New tells Tay, putting a hand over Nanon’s shoulder in pride. “It looks great, huh? He’s a natural.”
Tay stands there frozen, feeling a rush of emotions he isn’t expecting he’d feel today. He stares at the flowers in his hand, then up at Nanon who gives him a soft smile.
“Say hi to Mom for me,” Nanon says. “I hope she likes them.”
Tay looks at Nanon for a long time. Everyday he looks more and more like her. His heart breaks at that thought.
“I know she will,” Tay beams, stepping closer to ruffle Nanon’s hair. Tay’s eyes lock with New and he gives him a grateful smile.
Tay invites them to lunch one day because Nanon wanted pasta from the Italian place three blocks from the flower shop. Tay leaves the office a little earlier, which never usually happens, but he wants to spend a little more time with Nanon today.
And New, maybe.
Nanon talks about New a lot, and it’s funny how Tay knows several things about the guy without actually exchanging more than a few sentences with him over the past couple of months. He’s thirty-three, he likes to eat cake, which Nanon says he always has a stash of in the shop and he and Ohm are free to take slices should they get hungry. He’s very fond of cats, though he doesn’t own one because he’s allergic.
Nanon seems to like New, and it only makes sense for Tay to try to be friends with his son’s boss.
“I hope Nanon isn’t giving you a hard time,” Tay says as they walk to the restaurant. Nanon and Ohm are a few steps ahead, bickering about something, and New and Tay naturally fall into step behind the two and walk beside each other. Tay thinks the weather is perfect for a quiet stroll, the clouds blocking the usual Bangkok noon heat.
“Not at all, he’s a great kid. You should be proud,” New tells him. “He talks about you a lot.”
Tay turns to him, mildly intrigued. “He does?”
New lets out a quiet laugh and looks down at his feet. “Yes. But I’m not sure he’d like me telling you what he says, though.”
Tay scoffs. “That kid. All embarrassing things, I suppose?”
“I wouldn’t say there isn’t an embarrassing thing or two in there, but mostly great things. You’re a good father, Tay.”
“Ahh,” Tay rubs his nape, feeling somewhat self-conscious. When he turns to New, he could see the earnestness in the other man’s features. “I try.”
“Tay!”
Tay whirls around and sees New step outside the flower shop’s door. Tay is on his way to pick up a couple of contracts from another law office two blocks away. This is usually something his secretary takes care of but he had given her the day off.
“New,” Tay walks back to where he stands. “What’s up? Is Nanon okay?” He takes a look through the glass walls and sees Nanon pruning flower stems. He seems fine.
“Oh yeah yeah,” New replies then bites down on his lower lip. “Nothing, I just never see you leave your office at this hour.”
Tay looks at his wristwatch. He’d told Atty. Adulkittiporn’s secretary that he’d be there at 2:30 PM. “I just need to pick something up at the Primo Building but I’m heading back after that.” Tay wonders, though briefly, how long New had been observing him to know when he comes and goes from his office. He quickly erases that thought.
New nods tentatively. “Um, do you have some time to grab coffee after that?”
Tay opens his mouth to speak, but pauses. After picking up the contracts, he plans on going through them as soon as possible. The preliminary hearing for the class action suit he and Off are working on is a week away and there’s still so much to do. So no, Tay doesn’t have the time for anything, really.
“Yes,” Tay replies. “Sun and Sky Cafe in twenty?”
New gives him one of his smiles after that.
Tay remembers, upon taking a seat across New, that he hasn’t really gone out for coffee that isn’t related to work in a long time. On any given day, he’d be talking nonstop about a case by now. But here he is, quiet, and willing New to say something first because aside from Nanon, Tay doesn’t have much on his mind.
He watches New take a sip from his coffee cup and Tay’s mind draws a blank. Since when was he so bad at casual conversations? The realization is disconcerting.
“So,” Tay starts, strangely feeling tense all of a sudden. “Did you want to talk to me about Nanon?” Ugh. Way to go, Tawan.
New shakes his head, looking a little taken aback, but he schools his expression right away. “Actually, no. Did you want to talk about Nanon?”
“Not in particular,” Tay replies, feeling like an idiot. “I just am not sure why you wanted to grab coffee with me if not to talk about him?”
New looks at him funny. “You don’t get invited to a lot of things, do you?”
“I’ve been told my life’s a boring cycle of cases and dad duties.”
“Is that by choice or lack of opportunity?”
Tay pauses. He realizes he’s fidgeting with the handle of his coffee cup. He takes a sip and buys time to think. He really isn’t sure.
“Probably both?” Tay finally answers. “I choose to work, so there isn’t an opportunity to do anything else. Like I said, I’m boring and you’re probably already regretting this. Feel free to walk out of this coffee shop right now, I won’t be offended.”
New chuckles and Tay feels just a little delighted to have made him laugh. Maybe he has his funny moments, contrary to what Nanon says.
“And yet you said yes to my invite,” New tells him, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. “I’m honored that you chose coffee with me over work.”
Tay hides his smile behind the coffee cup as he takes another sip.
“Here you go, Dad,” Nanon gives Tay the bouquet of sunflowers he had just finished arranging. “Can I come with you today? New said I could go.”
Tay looks at New behind the counter who gives him a nod. “He can get off work earlier today. Ohm’s here anyway.”
“Of course,” Tay puts a hand over Nanon’s head. “I’m parked in the corner, I’ll wait for you if you need to change.”
“Thanks Dad, it’ll be quick.”
Tay is about to leave when New calls him out.
“Tay, wait,” New says and Tay watches as he pulls out a bouquet of flowers from under the counter and saunters up to him.
“They’re not sunflowers, but I figured you got that covered,” New tells him as he holds out the bouquet for Tay to take. “Pink carnations. I hope you don’t mind.”
Tay’s eyes drop to the flowers in New’s hands, then up at New.
“They’re for Nanon’s Mom,” New explains, as if answering Tay’s silent question. “Carnations mean--”
“A Mother’s love,” Tay supplies, taking the bouquet. New flashes him a look of surprise. “Nanon talks about flowers a lot. I don’t know if I’ve told him that his Mom loved flowers, too.”
New gives him a smile. “She must have been a wonderful woman.”
“My sister was,” Tay replies, nodding, already feeling the rush of nostalgia at the memory of her. He thinks she would have really liked New. “Today marks the 12th year. She’s going to love this. Thank you.”
The coffee afternoons get more frequent before Tay realizes it. At some point, New had gotten his number because Nanon had a bad case of diarrhea and needed to go home. The next message he receives from New is to ask him if he’s free for coffee again.
Twice a week, then thrice. Four times, if you count this week.
Most of the time, it’s New who messages him first. Then on a particularly stressful day, Tay reaches out instead. This is right about the time Tay discovers that talking to New eases a lot of things on his mind.
New, much like his flower shop, is a breath of fresh air in the cold business district. A calming respite.
“Bad day?” New asks after they’d taken a seat in their usual spot.
“That obvious?”
“There’s a perpetual scrunch in between your brows,” New imitates him, pinching the top bridge of his nose. “You okay?”
Tay sighs. “Just boring stuff. My client might lose against a big corporation despite having gotten very sick because of substandard factory conditions. They’re pushing for a settlement that will cover just her medical expenses so far. My client is battling cancer and I might have to agree to put a price on that if I want her to at least get something out of that fucking company.”
New purses his lips. “I’m not a lawyer but that’s just wrong.”
“It is,” Tay responds, huffing. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t want to hear me talk about work.”
New shakes his head. “No, just say whatever’s on your mind, Tay. I’m willing to listen. I would have stopped inviting you out for coffee if I don’t want to spend time talking and listening to you.”
Tay sucks his bottom lip, trying to make sense of the quickening of his heartbeats. New’s eyes turn light brown when hit by the sunlight in this particular spot at the cafe. Tay has noticed this for a while, along with how open and honest New’s eyes always are.
Tay walks New back to the flower shop at around 4:45 PM. Their conversation today dragged a bit longer than they both intended, not that Tay is complaining.
New turns to him in front of the flower shop’s entrance. “When are you seeing your client again?”
“Tomorrow,” Tay replies. “Before her next chemotherapy treatment, I’ll have to inform her of the other party’s settlement proposal.”
“Can you come by before you leave? I’d really like to give her some flowers. They’re not much but I hope they cheer her up, if only by a little bit.”
Tay’s stomach somersaults. He nods and New gives him a parting wave before entering the store.
“Hi Muk,” New says after placing the bouquet of carnations next to her epitaph. “I’m New Thitipoom. You might not know who I am but I sent you the carnations the last time, too. I’m sorry I only visited you now, your brother here really took his sweet time before asking me out.”
Nanon lets out a little laugh; Tay puts a hand over his mouth to shush him.
“I was also Nanon’s boss for a bit, he worked at my shop but had to stop when the school term started. He still goes there sometimes -- well, he goes there a lot. You should be proud. Muk. He’s a natural with flowers. Tay told me you loved flowers, so he must have gotten that from you.”
Warmth spreads in Tay’s chest and he steps closer to lace his fingers with New.
“I also want to tell you how great Tay is as a Dad,” New continues, turning to him so he could catch Tay’s eyes. “I know he probably doesn’t talk about himself a lot, he rarely does with me, too. He’s humble like that. But he’s awesome, Muk. Nanon is the man he is today because Tay raised him right.”
“He’s a workaholic though. Sometimes he doesn’t eat on time and sleeps way too late. I’m working on that,” New pauses. Tay gives his hand a squeeze.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you for allowing me to meet him, Muk. Because of your love for sunflowers, he walked into my life and walked out with my heart. And I’ll spend my days making it up to you by loving and taking very good care of your boys from now on.”
Tay releases New’s hand and moves behind him, sliding his arms around New’s waist and propping his chin on his shoulder. He feels New lean onto his chest.
“I know it was you, Muk,” Tay whispers, closing his eyes. He imagines her face, smiling at him. “Thank you for sending him to me.”