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2020-12-24
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2020-12-24
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Maybe You Don't See It, But You Are Quicker Than The World Can Spin

Summary:

After Aizawa is kidnapped and blinded during patrol his whole sense of self may never be retrieved, but that's okay, because he is not alone, he's got friends and students who love him dearly.

Alternative Title: Sometimes, The Window Of Your Soul May Not Be In Your Eyes But Your Words

Notes:

This fic was inspired by a prompt made by CoolPandr (Thank you for letting me use it!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26615032
Chapter 17

Also, you should listen to You Got In You - BANNERS, got that song to inspire a few lines and some of the atmosphere from the last chapter, plus, it kind of fits this fic, that's why the title.

PS: Every single description of autism is based on Shaun Murphy (The Good Doctor) and Jake Bohm (Touch), a few videos I watched and stuff I read around, so I apologise for any errors, exaggeration and/or offense this may cause

Chapter 1: Erase The Light

Chapter Text

-Sensei have a good night!- Called out Iida when he caught sight of the erasure hero at the door, the man in question turned to glance at him over his shoulder, giving a short nod.

-Don't forget about curfew.- Reminds the erasure hero, usually when he had to leave for patrol earlier, as in the kids were still up, Iida and Yaoyorozu were the ones in charge, tonight wasn't any different.

-Yes sir! I mean no sir! I will make sure everyone is at their rooms at 10 o'clock!- Said Iida firmly, Aizawa nodded again before walking out, closing the door behind him.

-Man I wonder how must it be like to work at night, do you think underground heroes have a club to practice their stares and dark vibes?- Asks Kaminari like he is honestly considering such a thing.

-I thought he was like that just because?- Frowns Todoroki.

-No, underground heroes share their dark vibes with each other it's a known fact.- Says Kaminari smiling like he was lending Todoroki into a secret, the half and half's eyes widening lightly at that in awe, Jirou smacked Kaminari with her notebook.

-Stop lying.

-Todoroki that's not true Kaminari is just messing with you.- Said Midoriya as he caught his friend already typing down on the keyboard of his computer about "Underground heroes clubs for dark vibes".

-But it could be true.- Says Todoroki already feeling the conspiracious theories swirling inside him, Midoriya sweatdrops, Shinso smirks as he takes a sip from his coffee, fingers running through the soft fur of Mr.Carrots (Koda's rabbit) that was resting on his lap, not a cat but still soft and cute.

Aizawa sighed as he crouched at the edge of a roof, the cool breeze of the night playing with his hair, tonight things seemed... oddly calm, there was a weird knot in his gut, anxiety, like something bad was about to happen.

He tried to ignore it as he straightened up, fingers gripping the fabric of his capture weapon, tugging on it a bit, suddenly, a shiver ran down his spine, hairs standing on end at the back of his neck, yet before he could turn he felt something hit the back of his head, hard, the world went black.

Class 2-A knew something was off the second AllMight walked through the door of the classroom instead of Aizawa, the usually jolly man sporting a somber look.

-AllMight?

-Where is Aizawa Sensei?

-Is he okay?- It wouldn't be strange for the erasure hero to come back injured, sometimes he came in late than usual, sometimes Recovery Girl locked him at the infirmary so he wouldn't get out, but he always one way or another ended up at the classroom, it was kind of hilarious how the man who seemed like he would sell his soul for sleep was so obsessed over work.

Yet AllMight's more than sad look sends the Class' guts twisting, a bad feeling taking hold of them.

-Where is he?- Asks Shinso, heartbeat starting to take a dangerous pace, because why was AllMight looking like that? Why was he sad? Aizawa was okay right? He was just coming in late right?

-I... We don't know.

Those words make hearts drop, a sense of dread taking hold of their guts.

-What do you mean "We don't know"?- Asks Ojiro, anxiety clear in his voice, AllMight gives the group a sad look, so much anxiety in those eyes, fear, it made him feel even more guilty, frustrated.

-He didn't came back and he's not answering to neither Mic nor Midnight's calls, he always go to FatGum's agency after patrols but he didn't appear there at all, Nedzu is making calls to hospitals but so far he isn't there either...- That makes even Bakugou's eyes grow wide, a sense of fear sparking in everyone's chest.

-So he's disappeared? Maybe he lost his phone and fell asleep somewhere.- Says Kaminari trying and failing to sound sure of his own words, because Aizawa just didn't fall asleep anywhere, less much if he was doing patrols, the man was more responsible than that.

AllMight made a face at that, even if he didn't knew Aizawa that much due this one's dislike for him even he could tell that the man would never fall asleep in a potential open for attacks place, he was dreading that thought at the back of his head, Mic's words hadn't done anything to help at all, he hoped that Aizawa was at a hospital, because if not...

He didn't want to know what could happen.

These kids wouldn't be able to stand it.

-AllMight, do you think he was kidnapped?- Asks Sero bluntly, AllMight pressed his lips into a thin line at that, he had hoped for them to not ask that.

-It's a high possibility, but we can't be sure yet.

-The heroes will find him right?- Asks Uraraka, her eyes are glistening, voice strained yet weak, worry taking hold of every single inch of her face, AllMight bit his tongue at that question.

-Yes, they will.- AllMight wasn't proud at how well he lied to their faces, but he would rather tell them a lie to sooth their anxiety rather than tell them the truth, because they didn't need to know, they were too young for that

To know that most heroes who were kidnapped weren't always found, and if they did.

They were all dead.

Yet he didn't had to say anything, because Class 2-A was sharper than what people gave them credit for, they could see it,

That there was a high chance that Aizawa wouldn't be found, or at least not alive, and that thought sent shivers down their spines, a knot in their throats, because against popular belief the Class did like Aizawa, as scary and harsh as he was, they still liked him, because he was always so nice despite all, always there to listen to their problems no matter how lame they may be, walking them to the infirmary and waiting outside when they got hurt, never judging, always lending a shoulder to cry on.

He was like a father figure to most of them by now.

The idea of losing him...

They didn't want that, they wanted him with them

But at the same time they couldn't help but know it.

That this was part of being a hero, lose people close to you in the line of work.

Sometimes it was so easy to forget Aizawa was also a hero, because he was so easy to reach out for, so unlike most heroes who were out there, he was...

He was more human.

They always joked about how robotic he was, monotone, like the devil's spawn, but it wasn't until now that they could see it, that he was far from being that, while most heroes were like staring at celebrities, unreachable no matter how friendly they may be towards the public Aizawa had always been the easiest to reach out for, the more truthful, human.

Aizawa didn't deserve to die, no matter what others may think he didn't deserve that, he was a good person, a strong hero, he was...

He was their hero.

~

-But we can't kill the hostage!

-Then incap- instead! 

Aizawa came to the sounds of an arguing and a pounding headache, what was happening? Who was fighting? Why couldn't he move? Why couldn't he see? 

-Can erase our quirks -turn back to U.A.!

Hostage? Are they talking about him? What? Why is he-

-But U.A.!

-He raises a valid point.- A third voice different from the previous two interrupted, tone harsh and cold, Aizawa couldn't help but feel unrelenting dread at it.- Do it.

Aizawa seized in fear.

Do it? What are they-

Suddenly, pain exploded in his left eye, every nerve and vessel apparently deciding to spontaneously combust in a drammatic flair of pain.

He heard screaming, who was screaming? They should stop, he was getting a headache-

The cloth slipped off his face, his eyesight somewhat clearing in an eye, but not the other, was his other eye closed? He's wasn't sure.

In front of him stood someone, he could barely make out light blue hair, a weird gray thing on their face and-

-Your eyes have always been a nuisance, Eraserhead.

His throat aches, his face aches, his eyesight is blurry, he can't see through his other eye, he can't-

Pain explodes into his right eye this time, his throat aches as that same scream of before is heard, it makes his head pound even more, feel like it's about to split, who's screaming? Was that him? It should stop, because his head was throbbing with a splitting pain, his eyes felt on fire, his whole face was throbbing, he couldn't see, he couldn't hear, all he could feel was pain, pure blind pain.

And then everything went black.

~

It was 6am when a van drove by U.A., dropping a lifeless body infront of the gates before driving off at top speed.

Hound Dog being the one who always woke up at 5am to patrol around U.A. was driven by his nose towards the gates, a familiar scent along with blood in the air leading him almost unconciously towards the place.

And as he got there he couldn't help but feel his eyes grow wide at the sight that met him.

There he was, the man that had had the whole U.A. upside down since last night.

EraserHead.

An almost animalistic growl ripped through his throat as he unlocked the gates, stepping out, he looked at both sides, fury deep into his core, trying to catch any other scent, failing miserably, he was quick to kneel by the body on the floor, claws ripping through the ropes around the man's wrists before leaning down, his sharp hearing catching the slow breathing pattern, weak, barely there.

Hound Dog snatched his phone out, trying to control his instincts so he wouldn't break the screen with his claws as he pressed the emergency number, an ambulance was urgently needed, because he had a feeling Recovery Girl wouldn't be able to treat Eraser at the infirmary, his free hand reached for the blindfold, sharp claws slicing the fabric on the side before pulling it off.

His heart stopped.

-119 what's your emergency?

The sudden voice through the phone made Hound Dog blink, forcing his voice out, to be steady.

-I'm pro hero Hound Dog and I need an ambulance at U.A. as soon as possible, pro hero EraserHead needs immediate treatment, his eyes... I think someone burnt through them.- He said, voice strained, clipped, the wolf inside him threatening to break free and destroy everything in its wake.

-On it sir, we will send our nearest team there.

Hound Dog didn't wait for the rest as he cut the call, taking deep breaths as he tried to send a text to the staff chat room, his eyes though wouldn't stop wandering towards the erasure hero's face.

His eyes.

They were gone.

~

Aizawa first realization as he woke up was the sharp smell of disinfectant and alcohol in the air, he was laying on something soft.

His second realization was soreness, his muscles were aching, head pounding and throat feeling like sandpaper everytime he swallowed.

And third but not least, he couldn't open his eyes, something was wrapped around his head, and as he lifted his hand his fingertips were met with a somewhat soft fabric, bandages, he worked his way out of them, trying to open his eyes when the weight of it was gone.

Yet all he was met with was blackness, pitch black, his breath hitched, his fingers tried reaching for something, anything that could be blocking his view.

There was nothing.

He felt his breath catch in his throat, shivers running down his spine, fear gripping his very core.

He couldn't see.

He couldn't see, he couldn't see, he couldn't see, black, black, all he could see was a world of blackness, he couldn't see, his eyes were no more, he wasn't, he was, he heard a faded scream from somewhere, someone was in pain, where was he? Where was he? He couldn't stay here, he couldn't stay here, he had to go, he had to go, but the world was black, so so black, because he couldn't see, and breathing was also becoming quite the hassle as he tried backing away.

The rough movement made something at the top of his hand twist in an uncomfortable painful way, making him yank his hand away, a sharp pain shooting through it at the action as he tried getting away, he fell off, yet he didn't pay attention as he kept backing away, breathing rapid, heartbeat going for a marathon, he couldn't see he couldn't breath everything was so black where was he?! His back hit against a cold flat surface, a wall, why was it so cold? He couldn't see he couldn't see he couldn't see! His fingernails found their way to his face, clawing at his cheeks as he felt a sob break out through him, where was he where was he why couldn't he see?! So black so black so black so dark! He wanted light! He wanted light! 

And he still couldn't fucking breath.

He choked in another sob, air too thick for him as he kept digging his fingernails against his cheeks, pinching, angry, terrified, because it was so dark, it felt like the world was swallowing him, suffocating him, pressing down down down down at him into a deep deep deep sea of darkness and thick air, he wanted light, he wanted light!

~

Mic and Midnight had only left for four minutes, four, they hadn't left Aizawa's side since he was brought into the hospital five days ago, Recovery Girl had told them, that aside from a few bruises, a concussion and some other minor injuries Aizawa was fine.

The same couldn't be said for his eyes.

Apparently, his eyes had been destroyed from the inside out, there was nothing to do about it

No quirk either.

His quirk was destroyed along with every single nerve and vessel inside his eyes.

Even if Recovery healed his eyes enough so they wouldn't have to be removed and replaced by fake ones they were no use.

Permanently.

Aizawa was blind.

Mic and Midnight knew Aizawa better than anyone, and they knew that that was gonna hit him hard, Aizawa may be a hard one to break, some people even liked to say the man was a robot or just soulless, but Mic and Midnight knew better than that, they had seen Aizawa laugh, they had seen him cry, they had seen him at his worst, he wasn't a robot.

He was human.

Which is why when they get to the room and they hear a panicked breathing pattern they are quick to barg in, they are met with an empty bed, blood on it, and as their eyes fall on a corner of the room they feel their hearts drop, Aizawa was curled up in a corner, whole body shaking as tears streamed down his face, fingers digging themselves almost with a desperate motion against his cheeks, blood on his hand from where he must had yanked the IV out.

Midnight was quick to snap her attention to the present, quickly making her way towards him, kneeling infront of him.

-Shouta? Can you hear me? Honey it's me, Nemuri, you are okay, please calm down.- She tells him softly, fingers grabbing his wrists in a gentle yet firm hold, pulling his hands a way from his face so he won't keep scratching at it, the skin is pink, small trails of pink where he had scratched, hopefully no wounds will appear from that.

-No, no no.- He choked out in a sob, flinching away from her touch, trying to free his wrists from her hold, sucking in a sharp breath, trying to get air, failing miserably, he tried kicking at the woman, because no, this was not her, this was not Nemuri, she didn't like dark places, she wouldn't ever be here! The voice was lying lying lying! Liar!

Mic for his side decided to take action, quickly making his way towards his distressed friend, kneeling by his side on the floor, placing a hand on the knee from the leg that was trying to kick Midnight, the action only making the other grow even more flustered.

-No! No! Off with the hand!- He got one of his hands free from Midnight's hold, fist connecting with Mic's shoulder.

-Hey there, that's not nice, what are you gonna do if you hit my face? The angels didn't took so long with me so you could ruin their artwork.- Said Mic trying for a different approach, his words did got Aizawa from fighting, though his breathing was still worrisome.

-Yamada....?- His voice came out broken, hoarse, too vulnerable for Mic or Midnight's taste.

-That's the one, you are at a hospital, you are okay, you are safe.- Told him Mic softly yet firmly, his hand squeezing the other's shoulder in what he hoped was comfort.

-I... I can't see?- Asks the erasure hero, a knot in his throat, even if he asked, he didn't want to know, he didn't want to hear it, he didn't want to know the truth.

-I'm sorry.- That was Midnight's voice, Aizawa found himself being engulfed into a hug, the pressure against his chest telling him who it was, yet, those words made something inside him crumble, another sob leaving him as a wave of fresh tears left him, he felt someone take his hand, the one that was throbbing, something soft wrapping around it, but he didn't pay it any mind.

He was blind.

He was...

He didn't want to be blind.

There were so many things he still had to do, so many, who would teach his kids now? Train them? Who would be there to protect them? How did he let this happen? How did he let himself be broken like this? Who was gonna be there for his kids now? Who? It was his job to keep them safe, he wasn't suppose to

He wasn't suppose to become useless.

Midnight for her side held him as he cried, her arms around his shoulders, every sob, every whimper, every sound that came out of him felt like a stab for Nemuri, she always knew, that being a hero was a job far from nice, the world of a hero was more dark than what people gave it credit for, the fights, the blood, the violence, the near death calls, seeing people die, not being able to save everyone, the injuries.

People thought heroes to be mighty beings, saving everyone and anyone, but behind all that facade they were still humans, and people were always forgetting that, heroes were suppose to save people

But who saved the hero?

Even if the world wasn't obligated to thank a hero seeing that that was their job, sometimes a little gratitude could do wonders, because they went through so much to help others, things that changed them forever.

Ragdoll, Best Jeanist, Ingenium, and now Shouta.

The darkness of reality was awful.

Yet, even now, she couldn't help but be grateful, that Aizawa was alive, even if he may never be able to do hero work again, even if his whole life from now on may be leaded by a rough path, she was glad, that he was here, she would always stay by his side, because he was like a brother to her.

Because she didn't want to lose this one too.

So she hugged him tighter.

Mic for the other side, he didn't let go of Shouta's hand, thumb caressing over his knuckles, silently letting him know that he was here.

He couldn't but wonder when did things went wrong so fast, and to think that not even a week ago Mic had dragged Aizawa with him to his radio studio, just the two of them hanging there eating junk food like a couple of teenagers again, how fast could the world turn upside down, in the blink of an eye you could lose it all, he had been so terrified, to get a call saying that they found Aizawa's body.

To hear that he had lost another friend, not being able to do anything.

He knew things were gonna get worse before they got better, he knew how difficult things would get, a lot of things would change with this, he knew it, but he didn't care, because he would be with Aizawa in every single step of it, he was gonna help him even when this one didn't want to, Mic wasn't gonna give up on this, he was gonna be by his side no matter what.

Because Shouta was the most important thing he had, the only brother he had left, he wasn't gonna lose him like he did with Oboro.

He just hoped that Aizawa didn't allow himself to be brought down by this.

Because he knew that his friend was strong enough to get through this, he hoped Aizawa knew it too.

~

Class 2-A wasn't any better, when they were told that Aizawa had been found but had to be sent to the hospital, they had been both relieved and worried, wanting to know what had happened, but everyone refused to answer them, all they said was that he was okay, but the way they said it, the way they looked while saying that...

It gave them a bad feeling.

It was on the second day that they got their answers.

When Mic came to grab some clothes for Aizawa.

-Sensei, what's really wrong with Aizawa?- Surprisingly Iida is the one to ask that, stopping the voice hero from leaving, Mic doesn't turn to look at them but the why his shoulders seem to grow stiff they know something is definitely not okay.

Mic turns to look at them over his shoulder, sighing before actually turning to face them.

Mic knew, that it didn't matter what they did, the kids would find out sooner or later, because Aizawa was coming back tomorrow, the dorms were the safest place for him right now, they still hadn't been able to find who did it, why they did it, so better not risk something worse.

But still, these kids were so close to him, they held Aizawa on such high regard, it would destroy them to know, Aizawa wasn't even okay emotionally speaking, let alone mentally, wouldn't be for a long long time, they would have to be forced to see a side of him that would probably scare them or only God knows what.

-You said before that he was okay, was that a lie? Was he hurt that bad?- Asks Tokoyami, eyes burying into Mic's soul, yet worry was clear in his face.

These kids...

-He's... A quirk was used against his eyes... both his quirk and eyesight were destroyed, he's completely blind, for the rest of his life.

At Mic's word gasps were let out, a few hands covering their mouths as a few others stumbled back, as if those words had physically hit them, terror written in each one of their faces, the most sensitive ones even held tears in their eyes, it broke Mic's heart to see them like that.

The Class for their side, they felt...

They don't know how they felt, Aizawa was...

He was...

-Who did it?- Asked Bakugou, voice sharp as steel, jaw tight, fists shaking at his sides, red eyes wielding a level of fury new even to Izuku.

-We are still trying to find them, but honestly there's little we can do for that when there are no clues, we don't even know why they even did it.

-Why? Isn't that fucking obvious?! They did it because they fucking knew he could very much fuck them up! That's why they did it! Because his quirk could let him kick anyone's ass!- Snapped Bakugou hastily, fire crackling at his palms, he was angry, no, not angry, furious, if he got his hands on the fucker who fucking thought wise to fuck with Aizawa he was gonna explode their faces harder than a fucking supernova.

-Bakubro calm down, I know it sucks, I know you are angry I am too but we can't lose our heads now.- Tried Kirishima, Bakugou glared at him, fists growing even more tight before relaxing as he took a deep breath, because shitty head was right, they couldn't lose their heads now, not when Aizawa needed them.

-Does this mean he won't be able to do hero work anymore?- Asks Shoji, the question that everyone dreaded.

-I... I don't know, but most likely no, I don't think he will.

-What about teaching?

-... I don't know...

-How is he?- Asks Yaoyorozu, she couldn't imagine how bad Aizawa must be feeling right now, it hurt, to know that they wouldn't ever be able to see another one of his glares, his quirk... he had had such a magnificent quirk, so rare, so unique, he was such an amazing hero, who would do something so cruel? Why?

-I'm not gonna lie kid, he's far from being good, he keeps freaking the fuck out at anything and everything, and it's hell to get him to calm down, he broke one of the nurses' arms this morning because of it.- Says Mic truthfully, because he had a feeling that the kids were going to see it for themselves at one point, so better warn them.

The Class for their side feel their guts twist at that, chest tight, the solely idea of Aizawa freaking out sending shivers down their spine, he wasn't suppose to freak out, he was... he wasn't suppose to be scared, none of this should be happening, if they had known that things were gonna end like this...

This wasn't fair at all.

Why did villains had to exist? What did they gain from hurting others like that?

-Will he be okay?- Asks Uraraka, trying and failing to keep the trembling from her voice, Aizawa wasn't suppose to get hurt, he wasn't suppose have to go through this, someone so nice didn't deserve something so cruel.

-....Honestly? I have no idea, with how stubborn he is I doubt he will make things easy for everyone.- Sighs Mic matter of fact, Shouta was... he was so stubborn when it came to let people help him.

The Class doesn't say anything, because they knew, how Aizawa had the tendency to do everything and anything on his own, how he would deal with things on his own, when he came to teach after the USJ attack, when he came with broken leg to class without telling anyone, forcing himself to give classes like that (the only reason they found out was because Mic had pretty much screamed said thing across the whole building), and how to forget how he came to give classes with a migraine.

The guy was the epitome of stubbornes itself, no one had power to help him, the Class knew that perfectly.

Yet.

This was way different, if Aizawa acted up like that he could seriously end up hurt.

Which is why the Class came to a silent agreement.

They would help him even if he didn't want to.

Because as stated before, he was their hero.

And he had done so much for them.

It was time they repay him.