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Another comeback. Another disappoinment.
They got back in the car after the music show had ended. Exhaustion was painted on their faces. While his members were trying to find comfort in their van which was obviously too small for five grown-ups and get little rest after having to wake up at three this morning, Aron was full with thought.
They didn't win this time, hell they even didn't get nominated. They would not stand a chance on other music shows, Aron knew that, not with how much albums they had been selling or how they were doing on the charts. They tried so hard, Baekho didn't even want to have a break despite the risk with his vocal chord, Ren and Minhyun were not their carefree selves anymore, and heck he didn't even know if JR had got any sleep. So why? Why it seemed like the whole world was against them.
Maybe it was not the other four, but him. He was just a kid from L.A, knowing nothing about this industry until he got casted. A foreigner who was trying to fit in.
"Who am I trying to deceive?" - Aron thought.
Singing had always been his passion, but now he thought it had better been a hobby. He was always happy when he sang. He could change into anyone, telling their story from the lyrics, coating it with beautiful melody, and he wished someday he could also tell his own story.
The life of a kid, trying to make it big.
Aron smiled. He looked out of the side window. He saw the lightstreets were left behind as they car was moving foward, their light faded until it got out of sight.
It was a huge thing when Aron got accepted into NYU. Being a journalist was his other dream and he had tried so hard. He left that dream to go to Korea, and now it vanished like the light behind as his life kept moving foward.
What if he stopped right now? He might not be a journalist, not anymore, but he could go back to college, got a degree and a job. Then someday maybe there would be a house, Mr and Mrs. Kwak with kids and dogs running around.
But then Aron looked around the car, the kids were still sleeping. An unknown feeling weighted down his heart. What would happen to the group after he was gone? Aron didn't want them to disband, he might got another chance back to the States but these kids, they got nothing.
Nah, they will be better off without me. Aron chuckled. JR, Baekho, Minhyun and Ren got talent and look, but he himself was the problem. He knew, without him, they had better chance to stardom. Leaving was the least he could do for his teammates. Aron was determined, as much as when he begged his mom to let him go.
Time to come home.
It was Sunday. The promotion had ended and since they got nothing else to do, they decided to chill out at the dorm. The kids were watching TV in the living room while Aron was metally preparing himself to tell them his decision. Since that day, he tried to act as normal but he could not deny the fact that when the parting was near, the more he wanted to hold on. It was hard to say goodbye, not with the memories they had built for the last few years.
Aron took heavy steps to the living room. Laughter could be heard the moment he got his feet out from his room.
Definitely Baekho’s. Aron smiled. I will miss this.
“Hey guys, there’s something…” He didn’t have a chance to finish
“Shut up Aron. The good part is coming,” Baekho remarked, “Save it for later.”
“But it’s–”
“I said I don’t want to hear now.” Baekho snapped back, annoyance clearly written on his face.
Desperate, Aron turned his look to his young leader. JR didn’t look at him but a small smile could be seen on his lips.
“Why don’t you take a seat, hyung?” He offered a place on the floor to Aron.
And that was when Aron knew something was not right. JR could be mysterious sometimes, no one could know what he was thinking but this time, Aron got the tiniest feeling that he hadn’t pretended enough to deceive their leader.
“O-okay,” And now he was trembling. Great.
Minhyun and Ren scooted to the sides to give Aron the space between them. Aron was thankful but actually, he had planned for a position where he could face all of them. Somehow his legs decided to betray his brain and follow the eyes of JR instead. His small frame was crushed between Minhyun’s and Ren’s long limbs. Somehow it wasn’t uncomfortable like when they were squeezed in a small van, but warm.
“Hyung, are you happy?”, Aron’s eyes widened but he didn’t have the courage to turn around.
Shit. How does he know? But then Aron got nothing to blame beside their close relationship that helped JR to read him like a book.
“I hope that you are happy, hyung. I don’t want you to feel sad with us because you see, you got the hardest blow when you chose this road. You had to learn a new language, you had to start again in a country on the other side of the world, all alone without your family. You even turned down the offer to NYU to follow your dream”, JR spoke calmly.
I hope you are happy.
“I always look up to you, hyung. How can I give up when I know you still keep going. All of that hardships, failures and everything life throws at us, can not stop you from moving forward. I am extremely lucky to have you by my side, hyung. I really am.”
I always admire you.
Aron could feel water started to fill his eyes. He could the warmth from Ren’s hand on his thigh, Minhyun’s arm beside his arm, JR’s hand on his shoulder and Baekho’s leg behind his back.
“Hyung, we hope for nothing but happiness for you and I am grateful for all the time we have been through. You are not only our teammate but you are our family, our hyung.”
You guys are my little brothers.
“I believe in you, just like how Baekho, Minhyun and Ren believe in you. I know it’s not easy but we ask you to put your faith in us one more time. We need you, NU’EST need you. Belive in yourself one more time, hyung.”
Believe in myself.
Tears dripping down Aron’s chin but the wetness on his face was ignored as he sobbed in Ren’s embrace. His hold in Minhyun’s hand tightened and JR’s fingers gently caressed his head. They didn’t said anything but the warmth spoke louder than words.
Hyung, believe in us.
Aron chose to stay. After all, he had been, was and would be forever, a member of NU’EST.
Once he was calmed down, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Aron turned around to see a scoff on Baekho’s face.
“Since your low-esteem self robbed me a good movie, once we get to stardom, which I know we will, you have to pay for a big meal to make up, hyung”, Baekho frowned.
Yep, this is my family.