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1. when the idea comes, make sure you're sure that you're ready. it's okay to let your hands shake. this is life-changing; you're allowed to freak out. if he asks you if you're okay, tell him you forgot to check the battery. he'll also freak out, but he won't suspect a thing.
2. figure out what you're going to say to him. he's known you since you've both sported mullets and struggled at maths tutoring. he's seen you at your worst, seen you at your best. you have two decades worth of things to speak about. ensure you get the most important points down.
3. when you do figure out what you're going to say, don't ramble. keep it concise, short and sweet just in case your voice fails you. (you can look forward to the rest of your days telling him what you leave out.)
4. practice your speech. he deserves more than you stuttering it all out like an inexperienced toddler, okay? make every word count. if you play your cards right, you'll only be doing this once in your life, you know. make those words worth a lifetime.
5. visit his family. visit his closest friends (aside from you, really). win their approval by any means necessary. bring flowers, bring cakes, bring a whole pot of dumplings for the obstinate grandmother on his father's side. if it's too easy, that just means you're doing it right. if it's hard, well, that just means you have to fight for him all the more.
6. when you buy the rings, make sure they come with chains. you might not be able to wear them when you both play your violins, but at least you can wear them around your necks. the audience might not see them, but you both know. (the audience can figure it all out anyway.)
7. when he asks why you look stressed, just smile, wave his concerns away. it's a surprise; he can't know. press your mouth to the curve of his shoulder. let him tuck you into the warmth of his chest. let him give you strength to continue planning. (it's all for him, after all.)
8. choose a secluded place that has good acoustics for violin playing. it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy—god knows he wouldn't care. just make sure you can play that slow-and-sweetened boccherini's minuetto jordon helped arrange. when you play it, he'll know what you mean.
9. when the time comes and the world whittles down to a hush around you, don't lose your nerve. just open your mouth and speak your truth, straight from the very heart of you. be courageous and take the leap. this is for the love of your fucking life. this is for always.
10. don't forget the ring; it's in the left pocket of your suit jacket. he might love you, but don't be an idiot in front of him, please. wipe the sweat off your hands before you get it. don't let it slip out of your grasp.
11. when he says yes, cling to his hand and don't ever let go. (he won't want you to. he'll cling to you just as tight.)
12. when you tell him forever, make sure he knows you mean it.