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Kacchan had confessed to him first.
They’d still been in middle school, Izuku had been around twelve or thirteen at the time, but Kacchan had dragged him to their school’s rooftop and spilled all the feelings he’d been harboring for God knows how long, piling up and up until he couldn’t take it anymore. The confession didn’t go smoothly either; it was all red faces and sweaty palms- which led to an undignified, yet harmless explosion or two.
Eventually, Kacchan got the words out, had even apologized for his behaviour prior to that day. “It’s alright if you don’t want anything to do with me,” he’d said, staring off to the side to avoid eye contact. Izuku didn’t miss the clenching of his fists. “I- Fuck, I wouldn’t want to either.”
Izuku hadn’t said anything for the first five minutes, hadn't even known where to start or what to think. Kacchan liked him. Kacchan liked him. He’d be jumping for joy initially but...these past few years have cleared his hazy admiration for the blond a bit. Don’t get him wrong, he still thought his childhood friend was nothing short of amazing, was dead-set on the belief that he could do anything simply by setting his mind to it. That didn’t change.
What did change was Izuku’s belief of Kacchan being God’s gift on Earth, something which he was almost certain the blond himself still believed.
“I…” Izuku clutched his yellow backpack strap tighter. “I d-don’t like how you treat others, Kacchan.”
Kacchan gritted his teeth. “I know, I fucked up. Even if you tell me no now I’ll still stop-”
“I’m not just talking about me.”
“....I know.”
“I-I know you probably don’t mean to be, but sometimes- sometimes you can be really cruel.”
“Christ, Deku, just reject me already and be done with it.”
Izuku gave a wry smile. He’d been staring at the floor this entire time, but the barely concealed hurt in Kacchan’s voice had been enough for him to look up. “I never said anything about rejecting you.”
Kacchan just stared at him, the disbelief evident in his eyes yet he remained guarded. If Izuku had any room to guess, he’d say the blond probably didn’t want to get his hopes up prematurely. “Spit it out, then.”
Izuku almost rolled his eyes. Even when his childhood friend was the one putting his heart on the line he still found a way to remain assertive. Classic Kacchan. “I-I’d be….I’d be willing to, uhm, try i-if you….if you, uh-”
“If I wasn’t a complete asshole to others,” Kacchan finished for him, tone giving nothing away. He seemed a bit calmer though, less embarrassed, less panicked, a bit more at ease. He had his hands stuffed in his pockets, still standing a few feet away from Izuku himself, just….staring at him. Thoughtful.
With the sun starting to set, the light hitting Kacchan’s back almost perfectly….Izuku had always thought his friend to be handsome, but now he looked nothing short of gorgeous.
“Fine.”
Izuku’s head snapped up. “What?”
“I said fine, nerd, jeez, you spacing out already?” Kacchan taunted, walking over until he was impossibly close; close enough to see Izuku swallow nervously and lean back. He reached out, lightly, playfully flicking the other’s nose before leaning back and heading for the door. “Don’t make me regret this, Deku.” He stated, no real venom or reluctance in his voice.
He left, then; leaving his newfound boyfriend behind to spiral into his own frantic thoughts.
Kacchan didn’t outright change or anything, that’d be ridiculous.
He was still his brash, outspoken and rude self, having no regard for others being something that defined him, yet Izuku saw the changes. He saw the way Kacchan snapped at the clique of bullies he used to lead, saw the way he told them to back off of Izuku, saw the way he grilled them to hell and back when they tried to move on to other weak-quirked kids. Izuku noticed the way the blond really did try to make a difference and he appreciated it. A lot.
It made his chest feel even warmer than before.
Another thing Izuku had learned was that Kacchan could be surprisingly affectionate when he wanted to be; although those times were rare, and even rarer when in public. This whole dating thing was still new for the both of them, so while Izuku eagerly embraced the affection and might or might not jot the newly gathered information down in one of his many notebooks, Kacchan still got embarrassed.
It was adorable to see, really. The way his face scrunched up and his cheeks turned rosy. Izuku had made it his duty to make as many notes of these instances as possible. It'd be great if he could get Kacchan flustered on command.
The blond was a tad bit protective, too. Comparable to a rabid dog even. During the beginning stages of their relationship, Kacchan hadn't taken lightly to their classmates' curious gazes, nor had he appreciated the questions some of the brave ones dared to ask. Their relationship was their business and while Izuku certainly could agree to that, he didn't really feel it to be necessary to scare each person off that dared to enter a ten mile radius near him. A bit overkill, if you will.
Izuku had been busying himself by gathering the remainder of his school supplies and extra notebooks when a light kick to the leg of his chair jolted him. He flinched, instinctively fearing the worst, but when he looked up it was to find just Kacchan, staring at him with a closed off expression. Izuku instantly felt sheepish.
“Still scared shitless?” His boyfriend supplied quite helpfully.
Izuku sighed, getting up from his chair and swinging his yellow backpack over his shoulder. “Habits, Kacchan,” he said, already walking past the blond, fully confident that he’d follow. That was another new thing Izuku certainly didn’t mind; their frequent walks home together. “They’re hard to get rid of.”
Kacchan’s arm snaked around Izuku’s waist in a firm grip, effectively halting his steps. He pulled him closer, close enough for Izuku to feel the heat of his breath against his face. Green eyes widened, cheeks red, heart lodged in his throat.
“Deku,” Kacchan started. “If any of these extras are still bothering you I-”
“They’re not,” Izuku said, and he really meant it. Sure, in the beginning some of his old bullies did try to get at him, especially whenever Kacchan wasn’t around, but that issue had been resolved quickly after the blond found out and really hadn’t pulled any of his punches. Even Izuku hadn’t been able to talk him out of the blazing hellfire he’d been lost in until after he was done.
“Deku-”
“I swear,” he flashed one of his sunshine smiles, noting the way the tip of Kacchan’s ears reddened and he hastily looked away. Heh, another one for the notebooks, then. “It’s just like I said, puppy. Habits,” he leaned up, planting a soft, sweet kiss on the other’s cheek that had the color to his ears only intensifying. “I’ll get over it,” he promised.
Kacchan still didn’t seem entirely convinced, his distrust for the remainder of their classmates one that stemmed from his own previous mistakes, Izuku was sure, but he didn’t pry any further. The blond only grumbled an affirmative, eyes focused on the floor as Izuku laughed and dragged him along out of the classroom; easily flustered.
He did squeeze Izuku’s hand on their way out though, and the freckled boy almost stuttered in his step. Too adorable. Kacchan was just too adorable.
He’d be the death of Izuku at this rate.
Their first fight, surprisingly enough, had been over Izuku’s UA application.
Kacchan slammed the application papers down on Izuku’s desk. “The Hero Course, Deku?! Listen, I understand this has been your wish- our wish for as long as I can fucking remember but the hero course? I thought you were applying for general studies!”
Izuku bit his lip, staring at his palms. They were in his room, Kacchan pacing the floor like a restless predator while Izuku sat on his bed, waves of skittish guilt crashing over him like a thunderstorm, simply because of the fact that his boyfriend didn’t know. “I want to be a hero, Kacchan.”
“I fucking know that, but do you need me to remind you that you’re Quirkless for Christ’s sake?!”
He didn’t know. Of course he didn’t know. All Might had been very clear on keeping his quirk a secret, even to his loved ones. Izuku swallowed, discomfort running through his bloodstream the same way his newfound quirk would once his childhood hero finally passed it to him. “Quirkless heroes exist, you know.”
“Yeah, only one passed the exam and she wound up dead almost immediately!” Kacchan snarled, miniature explosions crackling in the palm of his hand. He rounded on him, eyes wild, a tad panicked, but mostly angry. “Is that what this is? An attempt to give up on your goddamn life?! What, am I just not doing it anymore for you?!”
Izuku flinched. “Kacchan-”
“Then what about your mom, huh?! You just gonna go and leave her like that? Simply to chase your childish fucking dream?!”
“That’s not-”
“I thought the shit you pulled last week with that sludge asshole was the worst you could get, but even after that, after almost dying, you still signed up?! What the fuck are you even thinking, De-”
Izuku shot out of bed with such speed Kacchan stumbled back into the desk out of surprise, his boyfriend’s palms on either side of him. Green eyes lit up with shaky fire, a type of uneasy determination the blond had only seen whenever the nerd had been stupid enough to defend other kids on the playground. If he looked closely enough, he could see Izuku’s hands trembling and his teeth clattering.
“I saved you, Kacchan, that’s what heroes do. Risking their lives is collateral, it just happens, but that doesn’t mean I’m suicidal!” He stated, although not without almost choking on his own voice. “I have people to live for, things I still want to do with my life; but being a hero is one of them!”
The blond raised a brow, unimpressed. “Collateral, huh? So what, you got a hero complex?”
Izuku stared him dead in the eyes. “Maybe I do.”
Kacchan held his stare, back still cornered against the desk, but the sheer authority he radiated, even at such a young age, made it almost feel like he was the one doing the cornering. That was the thing about Bakugou Katsuki; even when he was seemingly on the losing end, he radiated confidence, and that confidence was what made him win. Izuku knew that like no other.
With a click of the tongue, Kacchan shoved him off, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he turned to walk out the door. “Fine, but leave me out of it if you’re planning to get killed.”
He slammed the door shut behind him, and only then did Izuku’s knees give out, the force of it all finally hitting him.
Izuku hadn’t ever felt as tense as he did now.
Even with Present Mic, one of his idols, standing on stage only a few feet away, Izuku could feel the tension piling up, could feel the heat radiating off his boyfriend; could feel the way his blood boiled.
They hadn’t spoken since that day in his room, and initially Izuku had feared for their relationship, but if Kacchan really had wanted to break things off with him, he would’ve done so. Kacchan wasn’t the type to postpone things, nor was he the type to beat around the bush, so his silence regarding the state of their relationship was a good thing- for now, at least.
Izuku himself hadn’t allowed his thoughts to wander either, had rather insisted on pushing himself into the vigorous training All Might had set up for him; both to keep his mind off his testy boyfriend and to continue chasing his lifelong dream. All Might had given him a once in a lifetime chance, a chance he simply couldn’t let slide….even if the people he cared about wouldn’t agree.
And thus here they were, in UA itself, listening to the rules of the entrance exam that would undoubtedly decide their very fate. In the case of Izuku, only a few hours after completing his training and finally gaining his hero’s legendary quirk. His exhaustion was evident, but his subsequent excitement kept him going. He was at UA, he was taking the entrance exam, he had gotten a quirk, he was going to do this.
Present Mic concluded his so-called lecture, dismissing the potential students and wishing them good luck on their practical exam. Izuku was one of the last to get up from his seat; if only because Kacchan had refused to budge until then. The freckled boy only glanced at his boyfriend for the slightest of seconds before ducking his head and scurrying off- or at least, he would have, had Kacchan not called out to him just then.
“You look like shit, nerd.”
Izuku halted, teeth worrying his lower lip as he tried to work out a reply to the unorthodox greeting. As charming as ever, huh?
Izuku tilted his head slightly to the left, a nervous chuckle falling from his lips. "You haven’t spoken to me in weeks and that’s the first thing you say?”
“It is,” his voice sounded a lot closer now, and Izuku turned around to confirm. Kacchan was staring at him, pretty eyes lidded and unreadable, his lips set into a thin line. He looked Izuku over, noted the wrinkled state of his clothes as well as the heavy bags underneath his eyes, contemplating. He reached out, ignoring the way his boyfriend tensed up as he smoothed out the collar of the green tracksuit Izuku was wearing. “Let me guess, you haven’t been sleeping at all. Probably obsessing over the exam like the stupid nerd you are.”
“It’s a big deal, Kacchan.” He stated, hesitating just a bit before allowing his eyes to flicker up and have green meet red for the first time in weeks. “You can’t fault me when I know for a fact you’ve been doing the same.”
Kacchan merely hummed, idle stare focused on freckled features and nothing else. He looked thoughtful, clever brain working something out he’d clearly been struggling with for a while.
“Kacchan,” Izuku swallowed nervously, green eyes drifting to the side. Everybody else had left by now, even Present Mic had followed out the door with the other candidates, likely having assumed that’d be all of them. It was just them. Just Izuku and Katsuki. “We’re going to be late-”
“Shut up, nerd.” Kacchan pulled him in by the collar of his tracksuit, once again wrinkling the fabric he had needlessly smoothed out only seconds before. The kiss wasn’t anything special; just a short, firm peck on the lips that spoke louder than the blond himself ever could, but had Izuku frozen regardless.
He pulled away just as quickly, eyes still unreadable yet narrowed, as if daring Izuku to defy his next statement. “Die out there and I promise I’ll kill you.”
Izuku swallowed again, only able to give a sharp nod as he stared at his boyfriend with wide eyes. His lips tingled, and he was sure his face had taken on all but seven shades of red by now, yet he couldn’t get himself to do much else. Kacchan’s kisses did that to him, the fact that they hadn’t had any contact for a long time only amplifying that fact.
Seemingly satisfied with Izuku’s response - or lack thereof - Kacchan dropped him, easily smoothing out the wrinkles he’d created once again before walking past him and out the exit; following all the other UA candidates that had attended that day.
Izuku let out a shaky breath, eyes still wide and pupils most likely blown, but he shook his head and slapped his cheeks defiantly, chasing the clarity he so desperately needed. He didn’t know if that had been the blond’s attempt at sabotaging him - probably not. Again, Kacchan was a lot more straightforward with his intentions - but if it had, it almost worked. That kiss had damn near rendered him out of commission, and it had been just a peck.
If Izuku thought he hadn’t had a weakness before, he certainly had one now.
The results had only come in about fifteen minutes ago, and Izuku was still blubbering into his mother’s chest when the door burst open and Kacchan hurried in, face alight with such excitement it was as if they were toddlers again, watching their hero save the day for the nth time that month.
He only spared Inko a rushed greeting, maintaining what little manners he’d been taught before rounding on his boyfriend, who had yet to jump out of his mother’s comforting embrace. “Deku!” He hissed, voice urgent, and only then did Izuku notice the blond was practically bouncing on his feet, rocketing back and forth so hard he’d damage the floorboards at this rate. “You’re crying! Did you fail?! Wait, no, you’re always crying. Fuck- just- did you pass or not?!”
Izuku let go of his mother, offering a wobbly smile and an equally as shaky nod in response to the question, not trusting his voice to operate properly.
Kacchan halted, gears turning in his head as he processed the confirmation before his lips spread into an impossibly wide grin, bigger than Izuku had seen on him in almost forever. He rushed forwards, tackling his boyfriend to the floor with nothing but pure excitement that had Izuku laughing with how infectious the blond’s enthusiasm was and Inko worriedly looking down at the pair sprawled on the floor.
He kissed him, uncaring of the fact Izuku’s mother was watching, nor of the fact that his own mother would most likely slap him upside the head for his insensitivity- he could deal with all of that later. Right now, he would celebrate in the best way he could.
And Izuku seemed just as eager, cupping the other’s face and laughing into the kiss as the tears continued streaming down his cheeks.
They’d made it.
Now, Izuku’s first day at his dream school should be a day filled with as much joy and excitement as the day he’d gotten his letter of acceptance- if not more.
Yet here he was, standing in front of the gates, thumbnail trapped between his teeth and biting it raw with unease. He had a bad feeling, a very, very bad feeling that seemed so out of place on so many levels, yet wouldn’t leave him. It kept nagging in the back of his mind, and the longer it kept going, the more Izuku dreaded going in. Something was going to go terrible today, and as much as he didn’t want to jinx it, he just knew it to be a fact.
He’d been on the receiving end of odd, if not suspicious, looks for a while now, yet his legs wouldn’t allow him to move. They simply wouldn’t budge, his entire body protesting against walking into the building he’d been fantasizing about for so long yet seemed so wrong in that moment. He probably would’ve stood there all day, biting his nails to stumps if Kacchan hadn’t walked up behind him and lightly flicked him upside the head.
Izuku only took one look at him, and his sense of dread intensified by tenfold.
“What’s with you? You look like you’re ‘bout to- oi!”
Without as much as a word, Izuku grabbed the blond’s wrist and dragged him behind a nearby tree, ignoring the array of curses and protests the other shot at him. He was anxious in every sense of the word, and his gut said it had to do with Kacchan. If all else failed, he had to make something clear. Izuku refused to let the day go on without doing so.
Once Izuku deemed the place secluded enough, he locked a firm hand behind Kacchan’s neck, fingers tangling in the hair at his nape to hold him steady, and kissed him. Hard.
He didn’t pay any mind to the fact that anyone could spot them right now, nor did he acknowledge Kacchan’s sounds of confused surprise. Izuku merely focused on kissing the living daylights out of his boyfriend, sliding his tongue along the roof of his mouth in an attempt to convey as much of his feelings into that one kiss as possible.
When they finally broke apart, both of them were panting heavily, greedily taking in all of the oxygen Izuku had so readily deprived them off. He wiped his lips with his sleeve, watching the way his boyfriend tried to get down from the unexpected high- it was the first time he’d been kissed like that, after all.
Cheeks flushed, pupils dilated, lips swollen, a bit dazed.
Izuku thought he’d looked nothing short of beautiful.
“What…” Kacchan panted, resting back against the tree for support- Izuku almost felt smug at that. “What the fuck was that, Deku?”
Izuku cupped his face, resting his forehead against the blond’s and staring straight into his eyes. “I like you a lot, okay?” He stated, almost urgently, no ounce of a lie to be found in his voice. “Never forget that.”
Regardless of his efforts, Kacchan wouldn’t get the message.
The silence that followed Izuku’s throw seemed almost deadly, that same ominous feeling of dread he’d had that morning resurfacing, but twice as intense, and twice as daunting.
Aizawa casually checked the meter in his hand, naming the distance with something that could only be called surprised disinterest, yet Izuku wasn’t focused on that. His attention was fully on the source of his unease, fidgety fingers finding their way towards his collar and tugging nervously, suddenly feeling clammy.
Kacchan looked about as sick as Izuku felt, staring at him in nothing but pure shock, no doubt questioning everything he’d known up until that point. His hands were trembling at his side, veins prominent as he curled them into angry fists, teeth gritted, and when their eyes met; a switch was flipped.
He lunged.
“Deku you fucking bastard! What the hell was that?!”
“Kacchan, I-”
Aizawa’s scarf lashed out before either of them could go on, the fabric wrapping itself securely around Kacchan’s trashing form, coiled tight. “That’s about enough of you, Bakugou.”
Izuku’s heart clenched, the dread sinking lower. “Wait! Let him...let him go, this...I-”
“Spare me your fucking pity, Deku!” Kacchan spat, the pretty crimson of his eyes swirling into a dark, murderous fire. “Is that what you’ve been doing these past three years?! Pitying me?! Was I just a charity case to you?! Someone you could constantly lie to?!”
Each word felt like a dozen knives to the chest, yet Izuku could only stand and listen; no way to defend himself. “No! You weren’t- you never were-!”
Izuku’s attempts at denial only seemed to have the opposite effect of what was intended, fueling the blond’s blazing fire even further. “Shit, Deku I know I’ve been an asshole to you in the past but this? You’d lie to me about something this big for so long? What else did you lie about, huh? Was everything just a game to you? Your shitty, twisted way at revenge?! I fucking told you from the start to just reject me if you didn’t want me!”
“That’s not it!”
“Then what?!”
“Shut up, both of you.” Aizawa drawled, voice a tad firmer than they’d grown accustomed to in the short time they’d known him. “I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but need I remind you you’re still being evaluated? Children who can’t set aside whatever personal issues they have and cause a scene aren’t fit to be heroes.”
Izuku swallowed down the lump in his throat, ignored his rapid heartbeat, tried to ignore the insistent stinging of his eyes. He eyed his teacher nervously, keeping his head bowed both out of shame and to keep his gaze from wandering over to the fuming blond.
Kacchan, on the other hand, composed himself with terrifying ease. He schooled his face, reduced his quick, heavy breathing to a more natural pace, unclenched his fists, and even managed to get his voice back into controlled calm. “Let me go, Sensei,” he said, cold gaze still focused on Izuku. “I won’t touch him.”
Aizawa didn’t seem all that convinced at first, but after a short moment of mental debate, decided to trust his student’s words and released his hold on him; keeping a close watch just in case.
Izuku looked up at the sound of footsteps, every nerve in his body standing on edge as he watched his boyfriend turn his back on him and walk towards the building with faux calm, the steam practically rising off his body. He had his hands in his pockets, likely to add to the cool front he was putting on, but Izuku knew better. Kacchan was a literal ticking time bomb, it wouldn’t be long before-
Kacchan swung his fist, an explosion going off as he allowed it to fly into the building, the force of it leaving a clear indent in the wall. Izuku flinched, shrunk a little more into himself. “Kacchan-”
“We’re through, Deku.” He stated, leaving no room for argument. His head was lowered, fist still locked into the steaming crater he’d just created, so sure of himself it seemed almost deadly.
Izuku was certain he could feel the ground disappear from beneath his feet, suddenly disoriented. “Wh-what..?”
Kacchan still refused to look at him, his voice as cold as ice and hard as steel as he repeated himself. “I said we’re through.”
His heart hurt. “No...Kacchan, wait! You gotta- you gotta hear me out on this, I-”
“What’s there to hear, huh?” Kacchan whirled on him, and only then did Izuku notice the glossiness of his eyes; filled with tears he stubbornly refused to let fall. His voice, however, was the epitome of calm, shaky as it might be. “More of your fucking lies? Your fucking games?”
“But I wasn’t lying, I-!”
“We’re through, Deku. And that’s final.”
Kacchan left, footsteps almost hurried as he headed back into the building, leaving a broken-hearted, teary Izuku behind as he did.
All Might had given Izuku a quirk; but it came with a price.
“Are you sure you want to go on with this? I bet that if we ask All Might to reassign, he would. He didn’t even seem so sure about this pairing himself-”
Izuku cut her off. “It’s fine, Uraraka, sorry for worrying you.”
Uraraka, to her credit, didn’t look convinced. “It’s not that I’m worried, it’s just….we all saw what went down yesterday. I’m not sure Bakugou is in the right mind to fight you-”
“I’ll be fine,” Izuku repeated, offering her a smile as he lifted the hood of his costume over his head and down his face. She was right, of course, but Izuku couldn't exactly admit to that. “Kacchan can control himself, and if I’m wrong….I know him inside and out. I can hold out if needed.”
“That doesn’t sound very reassuring.” Uraraka frowned.
Because it isn’t. “You just focus on securing the ‘bomb’, I’ll handle Kacchan.”
In truth, Izuku didn’t feel nearly as confident as he tried to make it look, but this was the real deal; they were training to be heroes and if all else failed, he had to focus on that. Besides, he’d cried enough yesterday. If needed, he could cry again and feel bad for himself after this was over.
All Might called for the start of the match, and when the first explosion sounded; Izuku could only release a shaky exhale.
They were barely five minutes into their training and Izuku had already needed to remind himself why he was doing this more times than he was willing to admit to.
Despite the blond's brash and crude nature, Kacchan really had a way with words; be it for better or for worse. Uraraka's initial assumptions had been right, his now ex (it still hurt to even think that) boyfriend had been hounding him since the start of this game, tracking him down like a bloodthirsty hellhound and essentially completely ignoring the existence of both Uraraka and his own teammate. Izuku knew that as of right now, his Kacchan wasn't with them anymore; mind so clouded by the sheer hurt and betrayal he felt that his usually clever thought process had frozen over into a one-track mind.
The smoke cleared, and when Kacchan stepped out of the gray clouds, beyond all the hurt, there was something crazed in his eyes. "So how did it feel? Lying to me all these years?" He asked, stalking closer. "Did you get off on it? You probably did, you sick fuck."
Izuku stayed silent. In all honesty, Kacchan's words cut like freshly sharpened diamonds, so much so that Izuku had to bite the inside of his cheek to the point of drawing blood if he wanted to keep his mouth shut and not spill the truth then and there. But it was difficult. Kacchan was hurting; both of them were, and Izuku couldn’t do anything about it.
His silence, however, only seemed to spur the raging blond on. "Oh so you're not even gonna talk to me now? What, am I not worthy anymore now that your game is up?!" The grooves in his gauntlets lit up, readying an attack. "I'll fucking show you what it means to look down on me," he muttered.
Izuku managed to dodge the attack just as Kacchan shot forwards and let go of an explosion. In that moment, he blessed all of his prior knowledge and often eerie habit of making notes on people. "I told you, that's not it!"
Kacchan cracked his neck, grin cruel and a tad shaky. "Go on then," he baited. "Explain it to me."
His palms crackled and Izuku swallowed, not having missed the underlying threat in his tone, nor did he miss the faint sliver of hope. Despite it all, it seemed even Kacchan didn't fully want to believe in whatever fable he'd disillusioned himself into. "It wasn't like that," Izuku repeated, voice about as steady as he felt. "I didn't lie to you- I mean, not really, but-"
"So you're admitting it?!" Kacchan snarled, and this time, Izuku wasn't fast enough.
Kacchan grabbed him, swinging him into the nearest wall and following soon after, gaining in until they were face to face. "Was what you said yesterday a lie too then?! Huh? DEKU?!" He spat his name with so much venom, it was as if they were right back at the start.
Izuku closed his eyes, thinking back to the heart-felt confession he'd made in front of the school yesterday, when he'd been able to kiss his boyfriend and whisper sweet words to him without the other automatically assuming it was a lie or some ploy to get back at him. It'd been only a day but Izuku swore it felt as if it had been ages.
Kacchan was legitimately questioning his love for him. Izuku figured that hurt tons more than any other insult the blond had ever thrown his way.
Him and Uraraka ended up winning that fight due to his brain, a broken arm, and her adaptability; yet Izuku couldn't remember ever crying as hard as he did that night.
When Katsuki got home that day he didn't bother announcing his arrival to the rest of the house. He went straight up to his room, barely having the sense to kick off his shoes before taking off quicker than that private schooled extra ever could.
A private schooled extra that, for some reason, had gravitated towards Deku the same way the gravity bitch had done; as ironic as that may sound.
With his blood still boiling hotter than Halfy's fucking quirk, Katsuki made quick work of chucking his school supplies and any other object within reach across the room. He stalked the floor like a restless tiger, feeling caged in his own fucking safe space and that was all because of fucking Deku.
The All Might memorabilia, the matching sneakers Deku had gotten him for his birthday yet Katsuki had refused to touch, the sole picture Katsuki had snuck of him knocked out cold on one of their many sleepovers- almost everything in his goddamn room reminded him of that lying little bastard, and he couldn't take it.
Katsuki knew that he was temperamental, that he had issues with his anger - he was his mother's son, after all - but it'd always been manageable. Katsuki wasn't the type to store his anger; he was impulsive in his emotions, making his rage known as soon as it appeared and as such, he'd always had an outlet in the form of whatever poor thing had pissed him off. Now, however, it was different because Katsuki couldn't recall ever feeling as angry as he did now. He was filled with pure, unadulterated rage and that, paired with the underlying hurt he felt was a combination he couldn't deal with.
He didn't know what to do.
With gritted teeth, unshed tears and his hands yanking at spiky strands of blond hair, Katsuki took one look at the full-length mirror against his closet before sending his fist flying into the glass.
Deku had lied to him. Katsuki had put his heart on the line, had done his best for him, had taken the effort to change himself for the better because of him. And he'd lied to him.
He went on a rampage, kicking his desk and punching whatever was in his way, all the while cursing and blaming whatever he thought sufficed. Deku had been lying to him since even before their relationship, and if that really was the case, how much of their relationship should he really believe?
Shit, had he even loved him at all?
Before Katsuki could go ahead and find even more things to destroy, Bakugou Mitsuki's shrill voice rang out from downstairs. "Brat! What the hell do you think you're doing up there?! Did you have a fight with your boyfriend or something?!"
And while Katsuki was almost a hundred percent certain his mother couldn't have known any better, that this was just her way of scolding him because even he could recognize that destroying what was technically her property too wasn't the best way of going about things, he still lashed out. "YES! I fucking DID! What's it to you, old hag?!"
Mitsuki fell silent, and had it been any other day, Katsuki might've felt smug after getting over the initial shock, but he still had his hands in his hair, still had his fingers digging into his scalp, still had his heart destroying itself from the inside out, still found himself choking up with every breath that he took. For once, even after losing that day's exercise, victory didn't feel as sweet.
"....Katsuki," his mother called again, her voice sounding a lot less angry than it did before. "Katsuki, come downstairs."
He managed to croak out his refusal, all the while blinking back tears, but the hoarseness of his voice only seemed to make her all the more determined. "Katsuki, baby, come downstairs."
And he did, he did because, for once in his life, he felt fucking lost. Katsuki had no idea what to do, no idea what to think or feel; his mind just seemed like a hazy mess he couldn't think himself out of. It was as if Deku had gathered everything he'd ever been good at and taken it away with him and honestly, if that's what breakups felt like, he was never doing that shit again.
So when he reached the bottom of the stairs and found his mother waiting for him, Katsuki didn't think twice about sinking into the motherly warmth he'd so often refused before.
To his credit, Deku was trying to put on a brave face.
He'd only gone and tried to sneak peeks at him eight times since this class started, and honestly, Katsuki had expected more. Then again, Deku had clearly proven that Katsuki's expectations of him weren't to be trusted. Not anymore, at least.
His eyes had been puffy, clearly the work of his oversensitive tear glands though Katsuki couldn't understand for the life of him why the bastard would be crying, why he'd even have the nerve to cry. He'd been the one playing with Katsuki's emotions, and he'd been the one to eventually leave Katsuki's heart beaten and bruised, not the other way around. As far as the blond was concerned, the only thing Deku had to cry about was the fact he'd been caught.
Katsuki had been laying in bed awake that night, the bags framing the bottom of his eyes heavy enough to rival Aizawa's. He'd been thinking, brain going a mile a minute in a manner he so often saw on Deku, thinking of his pretty eyes, his cute freckles, the constellations gracing his cheeks that Katsuki liked to map out so often. His thoughts had been raided with Deku and by the time morning came, Katsuki found himself having to nick his mother's makeup to hide any visible remnants betraying how he really felt.
It was pathetic, really.
The tell-tale prickle of eyes on his back sent a string of tension running down Katsuki's spine, and honestly, having Deku seated right behind him must've been some sort of cruel fucking joke. As if he hadn't been hurt enough already.
"Take a fucking picture," he snarled, low enough not to catch the attention of his teacher but loud enough for it to reach Deku's ears, and by the slight hitch of breathing, followed by a choked noise, Katsuki figured the message got across. The eyes he felt burning into his neck couldn't have disappeared soon enough.
UA was going to be a struggle, and not just because of the tremendous training they would no doubt be forced to go through; Katsuki knew that very well.
Izuku found him knocked out and still in chains in one of the dressing rooms.
He'd already visited Recovery Girl by then, his busted beyond repair arm swung neatly into a cast he'd dutifully asked All Might to sign - because duh - before heading off as soon as possible to make room for the other students the elderly lady no doubt had to patch up as well. The aftermath of UA's annual sports festival was one filled with many injured students, she'd claimed, especially if someone like Midnight was running it. Izuku's fight with Todoroki hadn't even been the worst of it, apparently.
He grimaced, green eyes solemn as he recalled the order of events that had taken place that day. It'd been intense, and while it had been a physically, as well as mentally, draining experience, Izuku wouldn't deny that he'd had a bit of fun too. He'd be willing to bet his classmates felt largely the same, including Todoroki, who'd seemed a lot lighter after their match.
It's just...Kacchan had looked quite dissatisfied at the end of it, so much so that they'd actually had to chain him down and put a muzzle on him to keep it down, and even then his unbridled fury wasn't one easily subdued. Izuku knew that like no other.
He wouldn't lie; it wasn't the best feeling, watching his ex boyfriend be treated so harshly - despite the fact he'd really brought it upon himself - even if they'd hardly spoken or even glanced at each other up until the start of this whole thing. Kacchan seemed to be really set on ignoring him and as much as it pained Izuku to do so, he really had no choice but to go along with it, lest he'd risk exposing his hero's biggest secret.
Izuku couldn't be entirely sure, but he had the slightest feeling Todoroki not taking the blond seriously enough wasn't what had set him off that dramatically. Something else had triggered his rage, something that most likely came in the form of Izuku. Todoroki had declared war on him first chance he got, had given his all just to make sure Izuku would be out for the count, had even gone as far as to pull him aside and question him privately- to Kacchan, all of this would largely seem like a slap to the face, or maybe even another one of Izuku's 'games' as he'd so readily disillusioned himself to believe in.
His match with Uraraka seemed to suggest the same thing, the fact that he'd initially discarded her own abilities by assuming her tactics were all Izuku's doing, by assuming Izuku had had something to do with it simply to try and cause Kacchan's downfall only served as further proof.
With his brows furrowing into a troubled frown, Izuku ran his fingers along his cast. It seemed that his little secret had hurt the blond far more than he ever could have imagined. Enough for his intelligent mind to warp itself into a paranoid haze surrounding Izuku's so-called revenge for him, at least.
It hurt to watch.
Izuku sighed deeply, left hand fumbling with the dressing room's door knob - something that was a lot harder with a cast on than it had any business being, in his opinion - until it opened. He froze before he'd even managed to set a foot inside.
Kacchan was sitting knocked out cold on one of two chairs next to the table, chains still wrapped tight around him, hands still bound, muzzle still in place. Izuku grimaced; having Midnight knock him out with her quirk was bad enough, they really couldn’t have bothered to untie him at least?
Behind him, the door fell shut with a deafening sound and Izuku instinctively flinched, head turning to face the tied up blond with his heart lodged in his throat. He stayed as still as possible, waiting the few heartbeats it would take for Kacchan to wake up but luckily for him, he never did; didn’t even so much as flinch, actually. Midnight really must have done a number on him.
With a thousand questions and protests going through his mind, Izuku dared to step closer, feet trembling with each step he took because really, this was about as risky as it could get. Still, this was the first time in a long while he’d seen the blond look this peaceful, and even if it was forced he just...he wanted to get the chance to look at him without being yelled at, if only once. It was sad, honestly, but even after everything that had happened Izuku couldn’t deny he still had a weak spot for his ex.
So despite his better judgement, despite his morals and the underlying nervousness radiating through his body, Izuku took the opportunity to close in on his sleeping target and just watch him. Even with the unflattering piece of metal still locked tight on his face, Kacchan looked peaceful, his breathing even and no angry wrinkles anywhere present near his closed eyelids.
Without thinking, Izuku reached out, fingers finding their way into blonde spikes that were still as surprisingly soft as they had been ever since kindergarten, albeit a bit damp from sweat. Like this, he could just imagine that everything was still fine, that their relationship hadn’t crashed and burned and that Kacchan still trusted him; still loved him. Like this, he could pretend they were just normal kids training to be heroes with no further consequences.
And Izuku knew he shouldn’t, knew that he really, really shouldn’t and that Kacchan would probably hate him even more if he were awake but….he couldn’t help it. Izuku had missed him so much, had missed their casual and often sweet contacts so much during these past few months, he…. he leaned down, brushing damp tufts of hair out of the blond’s face and placing a soft, shaky kiss on his forehead, if only to indulge himself.
Izuku ignored the heavy pang in his chest, slipping out the door as quickly as possible after that.
See, the unwarranted shock of panic he’d felt during Deku's fight at the sports festival had already been shameful enough.
But the sheer amount of raw, irrational rage Katsuki felt at that single moment was enough to have him literally explode on the spot and cause a national fucking disaster.
"Tama-chan!" Deku cried, easily falling into the arms of some brown-haired extra that had shown up out of nowhere when the majority of their class had been out to the mall (a trip that, begrudgingly enough, Katsuki had no choice but to attend if he wanted the dumbass brigade to ever leave him in peace).
The extra caught him with a just as excited cry of his name and beyond all the rage, beyond the blatant need to punch him in the fucking face, Katsuki could recognize this kid. He'd lived in their neighborhood, had largely attended the same schools as they had, at least until he'd moved cities somewhere around the start of middle school. Katsuki could also remember the way Deku had gravitated towards this loser during the time Katsuki had been nothing short of a total asshole to him, could recall this kid as being one of the extras Deku had protected from him, had been willing to fight Katsuki for.
The more he remembered, the more it pissed the blond of because what the fuck was he doing here and why the hell was he still hugging Deku?!
"It's so good to see you!" Deku said, finally putting some distance between them but still keeping his hands on 'Tama-chan's' shoulders because the nerd was a touchy loser and while Katsuki normally never took notice of that fact, it had his blood boiling beyond measure. What made things worse was the fact that Deku was giving him one of those pretty sunshine smiles Katsuki used to love and at this point, the blond was ready to blow for reasons still unbeknownst to him.
Katsuki didn't get to hear Tama's response because just then, Kirishima leaned in with a look of worry in his eyes. "Yo, are you alright?" He asked with enough tact to keep his voice barely beyond a whisper.
"I'm fucking fine," Katsuki snarled back.
Kirishima didn't seem too impressed. "Dude, you're shaking," he stated dryly. "And glaring at Midoriya's friend as if you're about to throw all of your hero training away and murder the guy."
See, the fact that Katsuki had actually been considering it without actually knowing why was what pissed him off even further and finally made him snap.
"I said I was fucking FINE!" He repeated, the hiss a lot louder this time around and sadly, loud enough to catch the attention of the pair that was the source of his current ire.
Deku caught his eye instantly, biting his lip and looking away not too soon after, as if it hurt just to look at him- all lies, Katsuki would bet. And while Katsuki should be glad to keep as much distance between him and the bastard as possible, he still hated it whenever Deku did that; simply because he really had no right to act like the victim here.
Tama, on the other hand, seemed equally, if not more, wary. He tensed up, shoulders stiff and jaw locking, the excited yellow of his eyes turning a guarded orange and oh yeah, that was the loser's quirk. Pretty useless, if you asked him.
"Bakugou," he greeted with a terse smile, and Katsuki really should be feeling more guilty about the slight waver in his voice when addressing him. He really should, should probably apologize for the past too since it was the heroic thing to do, yet there was no way in hell that he would because as of right now, Katsuki couldn't bring it in himself to regret a thing.
As a result, he didn't even bother with a proper greeting. Well that and the fact that he couldn't remember the guy's last name for the life of him, having never deemed it important enough to actually warrant a spot in his long-term memory. Katsuki only grunted in response, crossing his arms over his chest and staring him down until he looked away first.
Fuck, what was going on with him today?
Kirishima, apparently, didn't have a problem with seeing it. "You're jealous," he stated easily, a hint of a grin revealing sharp teeth.
"I'm what?!"
Tactful as ever and certainly more aware of their surroundings than Katsuki was at the moment, Kirishima swung an arm around his shoulders, hardening his entire left side in case Katsuki decided to explode on him and offering some lame excuse to their friends before dragging the fuming blond off to a more secluded place. The cheery redhead dutifully ignored all of his threats and curses, nor did he pay any mind to all his vigorous struggling and fuck when did this shitty haired asshole get strong enough to hold him down?
Katsuki would have to up his training; this was simply unacceptable.
"You're jealous," Kirishima repeated, as if it were the most logical thing in the world.
With a rough twist and well-earned explosion, Katsuki managed to tug himself out of his classmate’s iron grip. “The fuck are you on about?” He snarled, crossing his arms over his chest in what he would never admit was a defensive move. “I dumped him. Why would I be jealous?”
“Maybe because you’re still hurt and didn’t actually want to dump him?”
Katsuki snorted. “Bullshit.”
With a sigh, Kirishima looked behind him, Katsuki following his gaze. They hadn’t walked off too far from the main group, just enough for them to speak without any unwanted ears listening in and in hindsight, Katsuki appreciated his friend’s quick thinking. Deku was and always would be a sore subject for him, he didn’t think he’d take too kindly on having this conversation in front of his entire class; in front of Deku himself, no less.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Katsuki could hear his own voice echoing the word 'pathetic' back at him.
"Listen, I don't know what happened between you two, and frankly, I'm not going to ask."
Katsuki scoffed, arms still crossed. "Not like I was gonna tell you," he grumbled.
Kirishima only rolled his eyes. "But what I can say is that the two of you clearly still have feelings for each other and I'm willing to bet the whole class could back me on this."
"Bullshit," Katsuki repeated, only this time his voice wasn't as firm, the look in his eyes not as confident. Deku had been a constant in his life from the start, and yes, fully getting over him would be difficult but damn it all if Katsuki wasn't determined enough to forget all about the little nerd completely.
There was nothing he couldn't do if he set his mind to it; forgetting Deku was one of those things.
Only….he hadn't fully set his mind to it yet.
"Why don't you just talk to him?" Kirishima sighed. He lifted a hand, placing it gently on Katsuki's shoulder and it took all of his willpower not to instinctively shrug it off. "Midoriya seemed honestly miserable when you, uh, you know…"
"When I dumped him. You can say it, Shitty Hair."
He grimaced, likely remembering how messy and unpleasant the breakup had been. "Yeah, that. I'm just saying...maybe there's more to it than you think and you can't find out if you don't just-"
"No." Katsuki said, voice firm and without any room for argument.
"Bakugou…"
"I'm not doing it," he pulled away from Kirishima's hold, sharp eyes defiant but clear; a hundred percent certain of his decision. "I'm not putting in any more effort for someone who I can't trust, someone who…" Katsuki swallowed, hating the way his chest ached. "If anything, he should be the one apologizing, not the other way around. He's the fucking traitor, not me."
What Katsuki didn't mention was the fact he was scared of what Deku would say if he actually did talk to him. Chances are, he wouldn't like the answers.
In the three years that they'd been together, hell, even before that, Katsuki had never had a reason to be jealous.
Deku was stupidly loyal. Katsuki was his everything- at least, that's what he'd made it look like and Katsuki had fully bought into that act. He'd constantly be on his heels, grinning up at him with that cute smile of his, the sunshine one that had Katsuki squinting because it was too fucking bright. The one he'd secretly loved the most.
Deku also called him cute and somewhat corny nicknames, 'Kacchan' being a given and counterpart to his 'Deku', but 'puppy' was another one of his favourites. He claimed it was because Katsuki was like a feral dog sometimes, especially in the way he was oddly possessive, but Deku had seen it as nothing more than a cute puppy acting on its instincts and thus the dreaded nickname was born with a complete disregard of Katsuki's own wishes.
Not that he had entirely minded, of course, but it was still a fuckton more embarrassing than the childish 'Kacchan'.
Point is, Katsuki had never had a reason to be jealous because he'd had full confidence he wouldn't lose Deku. The nerd wouldn't dream of picking someone else over the blond, even if the man himself couldn't fathom for the life of him why, it was simply fact.
Sure, he'd leer or snap at wandering eyes that stayed on Deku for just a little too long, but it was never out of something as petty as jealousy because again, Deku was very content with being his and he proved that nearly every day.
Now, however, was a different story.
That fucking moodring-eyed extra still hadn't left, had returned to their hometown for family business that was supposed to last a week and ever since his first appearance, Deku had been with him every single day.
They were only three days in, but by god did Katsuki want to test out his hero training on the bastard's face.
He was in his room, sitting on his desk chair and staring out his window like a fucking loser, a cloud so dark it would put Tokoyami to shame hovering over his brooding - because Bakugou Katsuki did not sulk, mind you - form.
His window just so happened to have a perfect view over the little park Deku and him had spent the majority of their childhood in, a park that, much to his chagrin, Deku was currently chatting happily with 'Tama-chan' in.
They were sitting on the swings, Deku's big green eyes almost sparkling as he talked animatedly about something no doubt related to his time spent at UA, Tama's eyes mimicking the happy green, yet the color was nowhere near bright enough to match up to Deku's pretty ones.
God he felt like a fucking stalker.
And in hindsight, Katsuki had no right to be this pissed off, had no right to be watching who Deku spent his off days with. He shouldn't even want to know any of this and honestly? Katsuki had no idea what he was doing.
But...he hadn't seen Deku smile like that in months, hadn't seen those cute little dimples he got when genuinely happy for just as long. Katsuki hadn't been allowed- hadn't allowed himself to map out the constellations of his freckles since they entered UA and to be perfectly fucking honest, he missed the privilege of being able to do so; missed being able to touch and pull Deku close to him as much as he wanted.
It pissed him off.
With an irritated growl, Katsuki slammed his hand down on the windowsill, a series of sparks popping off where his palm connected with the wood, not quite enough to light up just yet. He pushed himself up, angrily stalking his way out of the room and into the kitchen with the full intention of raiding their fridge until his mind had completely blanked out and he couldn't see those haunting green eyes anymore.
Katsuki couldn't wait for the week to be over.
"I have to say, I never expected you to end up with Bakugou, of all people."
Tama's smile was kind as he spoke, but the accusatory brown of his eyes told a different story and Izuku couldn't exactly blame him for questioning his motives.
Izuku scratched his cheek. "Ah...where did you- where did you get that, um, idea?"
"Well….I visited some of my other friends while I'm here and they all claimed the two of you were very close during middle school." Tama explained, the hostile brown fading into a curious blue. "Were you really dating him?"
Izuku swallowed, fist clenching around the chain of the swing he was still sitting on. "Not anymore," he bit out.
"Really?" Tama frowned. "He sure didn't seem happy when I showed up."
"Yeah, that's….that's just Kacchan being, you know, Kacchan." Izuku grimaced, not too keen on recalling the memory. He didn't know why, didn't understand why he was feeling so sick to the stomach because he liked Kirishima, he honestly did but...seeing him walk off with Kacchan so easily….it didn't sit well with him.
"How, uh, how long were you together?"
"Almost three years," Izuku replied wistfully, a sad smile on his lips.
Tama's eyes widened in disbelief. "But...he bullied us, didn't he? He was horrible."
Izuku bit his lip, having anticipated the comment long beforehand. "He did," he confirmed, not about to sugarcoat their past because that wouldn't be right. Kacchan had made mistakes, and no matter how much Izuku still loved him, those mistakes should still be acknowledged. "He apologized though, stopped bullying too."
Tama still seemed skeptical and Izuku only sighed. "I'm not about to tell you you should forgive him or anything, that's wholly up to you, but despite appearances, Kacchan really did change. He even stepped in when the other kids continued bullying and I-I think...I think that's why I fell so hard for him in the first place…"
He paused, the confession unexpected even to him but it seemed to do the trick because Tama's eyes softened, almost sympathetic. Izuku knew what was coming next.
"Why did you break up?"
"....I couldn't tell you."
Well, the week was over, but things certainly weren't faring any better.
They were up against All Might, fucking All Might of all people.
And he'd been paired with Deku.
This had been a hundred percent intentional, and if it weren't for the fact that beating up his principal and homeroom teacher was a surefire way to get him expelled, Katsuki would've blown up their office ages ago.
It didn't help that they were objectively getting their asses kicked. He'd literally been used as a human baseball bat and smacked straight into Deku without All Might even batting a damn eye, had been on the receiving end of blow after blow and even with those compressor weights locked around All Might's wrists; he certainly wasn't holding back.
It was one of the most humiliating and ultimately frustrating experiences Katsuki had ever been through. No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, All Might was always a step ahead of him- he was the number one hero, after all.
And sure, maybe Deku could help. Maybe, if he took the time to stop and listen, actually listen, then maybe they had a chance. They wouldn't be getting in each other's way, could possibly derive a plan of some sorts to get out of this blasted fight and win, because even if Katsuki didn't want to admit it, Deku actually had a good set of brains on him and the ten years of hero note taking he had under his belt would be sure to help.
Still Katsuki refused to go down that road; refused to trust Deku again for as long as he lived. Even if he were to die right now, he'd do it on his own, he'd go through the rest of his damn life on his own before trusting that backstabbing bastard ever again and that was something he'd ingrained into his mind enough until it became fact.
But then Deku punched him.
Katsuki hadn't seen it coming, had been well on his way to forgetting the damn nerd was even there to begin with, yet Deku was full of surprises and just when Katsuki expected it the least, he'd socked him in the face, thrown him over his shoulder and hopped away like a skittish bunny, leaving green lightning crackling in his wake.
That's how they ended up here, in a secluded alley, Katsuki's back against the wall as he tried to catch his breath; Deku pacing in front of him, his motormouth running a mile a minute.
"I can't think of a way to beat All Might," he was saying, his movements about as shaky as Katsuki felt. He looked all sorts of troubled, and if the way he kept glancing up at Katsuki every other second was to be trusted, then it wasn't just because of All Might. "I-I can't think of a way to escape him either."
"Because there isn't," Katsuki bit out, the words coming out a lot harder than he would have wanted and he fully cracked it up to the sucker punch he'd just received in the gut. "With the way we are right now there's no way we could go up against that fucking monster."
Deku paused, something flashing in those intelligent green eyes. Katsuki could almost see the gears turning in his head before he steeled himself. "Kacchan-"
"No."
"Just listen!" Deku closed the distance between them, something fierce glowing in his eyes as he glared up at Katsuki. His fists were clenched, his brows were pulled in a discontent frown, and little sparks of green were starting to buzz around him. Katsuki straightened himself.
Deku stared up at him, a familiar sense of determination in his gaze. "Look, I-I know I messed up, and I know that you probably hate me and that you don't want to have anything to do with me. I know that, and-" he swallowed, eyes cast downwards. "And I'm fine with that."
Katsuki bristled. He was fine with that?! "You-"
"Just…! Just don't… don't give up like that," he said, voice almost pleading. His hand reached out as he said it, forming a hesitant grip on Katsuki's upper arm. "I don't…You probably think I'm lying but I honestly can't stand to see you like this, pup- Kacchan."
He was right, of course. Disregarding the strikingly unfamiliar touch and near slip-up, he was right. Katsuki didn't like admitting to it, didn't like to even think about it, but this wasn't how things were supposed to go; this wasn't him. He was supposed to be the best at everything, supposed to climb the hero rankings so quickly all the other extras would only be left to eat his dust. He was supposed to beat all the villains, take every victory and be at the fucking top.
He had to work harder than anyone if he ever wanted to reach that goal, and working hard simply meant that giving up would never be an option.
Deku swallowed again, suddenly unsure. He fidgeted in place, scarred thumbs twiddling around each other. "Please?"
Katsuki only stared, Deku awkwardly meeting his gaze. There were the tell-tale signs of tears filling his eyes; tears that he impressively enough was refusing to let fall. He was trembling, likely because of all the adrenaline, yet he stood tall, a solid, immovable force that Katsuki couldn't help but want to kiss.
And maybe that's because of the adrenaline too, surely he wasn't thinking straight. This was Deku, the one person Katsuki should hate, the one person Katsuki should stay as far away from as humanly possible but...here he was. Wide-eyed, freckled cheeks a bit roughed up through battle, a bit bloodied, a bit bruised, yet still as handsome as ever.
He wanted to kiss him, had this odd, irrational urge to do what he'd been wanting to do this entire week and stake his claim even with Tama's absence. It was stupid and pointless, Katsuki would be sure to curse himself out for it later, when he was less pumped on the jitters of battle.
Christ, what was he doing? Was he really going to let mixed feelings and a shitty breakup ruin his entire future? His destiny?
Fuck no.
Katsuki reached out, ignoring the way Deku instinctively flinched away as he cradled the back of his head and pulled him to his chest. Katsuki's own head lightly thumped back against the wall, his eyes focused on the blue sky above him as he let out a deep, meaningful sigh. Deku was still frozen, big green eyes even wider than before as he found himself suddenly in his ex-boyfriend's arms, head pressed against his firm chest and trapped in some half-assed hug, completely doused in the blond's scent.
"Alright, nerd." Katsuki breathed. "Giving up obviously ain't an option, so what do you have in mind?"
They'd taken Kacchan.
He should've seen it coming, should've been quicker. Even with both of his arms broken Izuku should have been there in time. If he had, Kacchan would still be here, would still be safe.
But he'd failed.
In the wake of the blond's abduction, between all the fire and injury brought upon both himself and a handful of other students, between the sound of his own voice screaming his throat raw, Midoriya Izuku hadn't ever felt as sick as he did in that moment.
Uraraka tried to comfort him. Todoroki and Iida did, too. It didn't help.
Being confined to his hospital bed the way he was while his ex-boyfriend, the one he still admittedly had feelings for, had been taken by a group of villains known for causing nothing but misfortune in their wake wasn't something Izuku could shake off so easily.
He was sick with worry, his intelligent yet often overactive mind playing scenario after scenario, each one just a touch more morbid than the last. Kacchan tied up, Kacchan drugged, Kacchan tortured for vital information Izuku knew he'd never disclose because he was stubborn like that and by God was that one of the things Izuku had fallen hard for yet also one of the things that was likely to get him killed. With each touch, Izuku got more and more restless, until he couldn't take it anymore; until he was ready to blow.
So when Kirishima showed up, having slipped into the room when no one else was present and presented the idea of breaking out to go and save Kacchan, Izuku's answer had slipped out before he'd even had the chance to finish.
All Might had warned him from the start that this would be a possibility, that this would very likely be his fate should he ever fail to put a stop to it on his own. Izuku had known as much even before his quirk had been officially granted to him, had been well aware of what he was expected to do. Izuku knew damn well that being the 'Symbol of Peace' was more than just a glorified title of being Japan's number one hero.
And yet, despite knowing all that, despite his problematic knack for being stubborn even in the most dire of situations, despite wanting to be out there and save his ex to the best of his ability, Izuku couldn't move his legs.
All For One was a much, much bigger force than he could have ever anticipated; was a force so demanding, so evil that just being in his presence- in a ten mile radius was enough to have him shaking, the threatening images of death looming over his shoulder like a personified shadow just waiting for him to turn his cheek.
Izuku could feel Death himself hovering behind him, could feel the bony hand resting patiently on his shoulder and the edge of a sharpened blade pointing into his back, close enough for him to withhold his own breathing in fear of accidentally piercing himself on the weapon. It was in that moment that Izuku realized, truly realized that being the 'Symbol of Peace' was more than just a title, was more than just keeping the country safe from petty crimes or the occasional terrorist.
Being the Symbol of Peace meant that Izuku was expected to fight not only crime, but evil itself. And as of right now, it was standing just a few feet behind him in a face off against his already weakened mentor. A face off Kacchan just happened to be in the middle of.
He had to do something.
"This plan…." Izuku continued despite Iida's protests. "It probably won't work if I were the one to do it…." He explained what he had in mind, although not without protest.
"What?" Kirishima butted in, looking about as shaky as Izuku felt yet determined all the same. "Midoriya, I really think you have a better chance at pulling this off than me. I mean weren't you- the two of you were, uh-" he looked uncomfortable saying it, likely because of what went down earlier that year but Izuku just stared at him, encouraging him to go on. It's not like he didn't know what he was getting at anyway. "You were together, weren't you? And I know for a fact that you still care for him…"
Izuku swallowed, looked down to stare at his trembling hands. His eyes followed the intricate lines of the scars he'd developed over the course of the year, more to keep his mind focused than anything else- the promise of death was still heavy in the air, after all. "I still love him, yes," he started, the admission feeling a lot heavier now that it was out in the open. "but Kacchan believes I did something unforgivable. He'll sooner die than trust me again, so as much as it hurts…" He looked up this time, staring Kirishima dead in the eyes. "It has to be you."
"But-"
"Please?" Izuku finally said, his eyes closed to stop his traitorous tear glands from working. "I don't think I could ever forgive myself if he got hurt because I was being selfish."
Kirishima still seemed a little unsure, but fortunately enough, that seemed to do it. Izuku almost smiled, the ache in his chest overridden by the knowledge that despite everything, Kacchan still had people he could depend on.
It was a little while after the dorms had been implemented that Deku found him.
Despite his pretenses, Katsuki's kidnapping was still fresh on his mind. He acted tough in front of others and even in front of the mirror, but in reality, the feeling of the blue-fired villain's hand wrapping around the back of his neck still stuck with him day after day. It had gotten to the point where he got defensive whenever someone touched him there, his instincts begging him to blow up the moment someone even got close.
Katsuki had nightmares, too. Nightmares that replayed the moment of his abduction, the way they'd had him tied in chains not too different from the ones put on him during the final moments of the sports festival. Sometimes the nightmares differed, would have a key moment that changed the usual path the events would take. He'd get beaten or killed for not wanting to turn over to their side or not wanting to speak, or they'd bring someone in and direct their violence on them if he still refused to cooperate. His parents, his friends, Deku.
The majority of the time it was Deku.
And Katsuki wasn't stupid, he knew this had to be some bullshit form of PTSD or anything of the like, but that didn't mean he would just lie down and take it like a good boy. No, Katsuki was stubborn, and he was determined to fight it every moment of the goddamn way. He wasn't about to be done in by some fucking stress disorder, and if that meant refusing the therapy sessions both All Might and Aizawa had suggested to him, then so fucking be it.
But sometimes….sometimes it got too much.
He'd had another nightmare, this one miles worse than the previous ones. The order of events seemed to jump constantly, each one vastly different from the other until it felt like Katsuki had lived through the same moment over and over again but only in different timelines. He'd jumped out of bed instantly, so shaken that when he caught a glimpse of himself in his bedroom mirror he swore he could see that villain with the patched skin hovering behind him, grinning in a way that could only be described as dangerous.
Katsuki had ran out of his room immediately.
He was on the couch in the common room now, the room dark except for the faint light his cellphone brought. It was quiet, all of the other students fast asleep in their rooms or catching up on some late night studying- or adult reading, in the case of that purple little shit.
The silence, however as comforting as Katsuki had intended for it to be, only served to do the opposite. When there was a constant source of noise, as little or as loud as it might be, Katsuki could strain his ears to only focus on that, could force his mind to notice the sound and actively react to it. He'd learned to distract himself by the littlest things in such a way that his kidnapping simply didn't have any room to creep in. It was the coward's way out and Katsuki didn't deny that he felt like an absolute bitch for choosing it but...he really couldn't handle it any other way.
Now, however, with the total lack of noise save for the occasional sound of leaves blowing in the wind, Katsuki couldn't keep his mind occupied, and it was taking its toll on him.
So when a hand landed on his shoulder, gentle as could be, Katsuki turned instantly, explosion at the ready and not caring for the fact that the resounding noise would wake up every single person in the building because he was about to blow that patch-skinned fucker's face in-
A hand caught his wrist before he could detonate, gentle yet strong, and before Katsuki could fully take in the twin orbs of sad green staring back at him, his voice was what got to him first.
"Easy, Kacchan. It's just me."
"Deku," he croaked.
Deku's eyes only seemed to sadden at that, the vibrant green clouded entirely by a dull knock-off that Katsuki couldn't help but hate. Deku's eyes weren't supposed to look like that. They were supposed to be a pretty emerald green, a color Katsuki had once been able to easily come back to, a color that could warm any troubled soul without a valiant effort. This wasn't right, he couldn't take it.
"Don't-" his arm shook, still trapped in Deku's iron grip and when he started rubbing his thumb over Katsuki's wrist in comfort, he yanked it away, cradling it to his chest. "Don't fucking look at me like that. You're not- I don't- I don't need you to pity me, I-"
Deku jumped over the couch, not saying anything as he settled in beside him. He was wearing his pajamas, blue shorts and a stupidly childish t-shirt with All Might's grinning face painted in the middle. It looked so dumb, so normal and yet….and yet Deku still had that odd look in his eyes. It wasn't right.
He was shaking again, he knew he was, the force of the nightmares and the look in Deku's eyes hitting him at his weak point and it wasn't long before he felt his throat close up. His eyes, however, as clouded as they might be, stayed on Deku.
He looked even worse now.
"Kacchan," Deku finally spoke, worry seeping into his tone yet he sounded so, so far away. "Kacchan, Kacchan look at me."
He was already looking at him. He had been looking at him this entire time he-
"Kacchan!" Deku reached for him, his palm sliding up to his face, tilting up and the scars, the rough texture of his past battles felt good on Katsuki's skin. It felt similar yet so different from that villain's touch, Katsuki would have leaned into it had he been coherent enough. "Kacchan, puppy, can you hear me?"
The old pet name seemed to do it. Katsuki gave a slight nod.
"I want you to listen to me closely, okay?" His other hand moved up, cupping Katsuki's face in a way that felt familiar, in a way that felt safe. "I-I think you're panicking right now, and I need you to stay with me, alright?" He leaned forward, forehead bumping gently against Katsuki's, big green eyes focused solely on him. "I'm going to count to ten, and I want you to count with me. Can you do that for me, puppy?"
Despite himself, Katsuki managed to give another shaky nod.
"One…"
Katsuki followed him, tried his best to match his breathing to Deku's.
"Four…."
Deku really had been with him every step of the way, hadn't he? Despite how Katsuki treated him in the past, despite how he was treating him now, Deku still smiled, still did his best for him.
"Six…"
Why were they even fighting?
"Nine…"
Sure, he'd lied and sure, Katsuki was pissed but maybe, just maybe there was a reason behind it. Deku hardly ever did anything without a reason.
"Ten."
"I love you."
Deku stilled, his body going rigid and yet, he still stayed close. "You-"
"Deku." He was still shaking, but his breathing was evening out, his thoughts a lot less jumbled now. "I-"
Deku swallowed, something sad clouding his eyes in a way that was different from before. It lasted only a second though, not long enough for Katsuki to properly read in his vulnerable state. "Are you okay now?" He asked instead, his voice oddly shaky.
"I will be." Katsuki said with a soft, low murmur as he stared at Deku, eyes lidded.
"That- that's good," he said, avoiding Katsuki's eyes. "Kacchan, I know you went through hell, and I also know how stubborn you can be but I want you to know that- that even if you're mad at me or hate me, I'm here to help, okay? You're not weak for-"
Katsuki kissed him.
It wasn't exactly one of the best kisses they'd shared, with Katsuki's shaky movements and the way Deku stiffened, but he'd been compelled to do it. Maybe it were the lingering effects of the nightmares, maybe it was because Deku was here and he'd missed him but Deku was sitting in front of him, rambling like the idiot he was and Katsuki hadn't kissed him in so long.
The way he mumbled up a storm, the cute way his freckles would lift when he smiled- he really was doomed from the start.
Deku, however, didn't act on it. He pushed Katsuki away, green eyes wide and full of something Katsuki could only call conflicted sorrow. He backed up into the other end of the couch, sock-covered feet pulling up on the leather enough for him to pull his knees protectively against his chest. His eyes were already filling with those tell-tale tears of his, and when Katsuki tried calling his name, they spilled over.
"Don't," he croaked, arms wounding around his legs, curling in on himself. "Don't….do this, Kacchan….not when you- when you're-" he sounded devastated and Katsuki could just punch himself. Stupid, fucking stupid. "Please . "
"Sorry," he swallowed. "Habit."
Of course Deku didn't want him like that. They'd been broken up for months now, it wouldn't surprise Katsuki if he'd already moved on by then. He was just being nice, just helping Katsuki through a tough time because that's the way his self-sacrificial ass worked and Katsuki had no business reading into it the way he had.
Just because he'd been weak, because he'd needed Deku to support him, it- that didn't...didn't give him the right to kiss him, to pretend like these past few months hadn't happened at all.
It didn't give him the right to do any of that, and he knew that fully well yet...yet his rejection still hurt.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
"Sorry," Katsuki repeated again, getting up from the couch on shaky feet. "And...thank you, for- for helping me."
He left, heading for his room and leaving Deku behind, curled up on the couch.
Katsuki really was a coward.
Izuku hadn't expected Kacchan to kiss him.
He'd expected a hug at most, had expected to spend his night comforting the blond until he was stable enough to get back on his own two feet again, stable enough to yell at him or tell him to go away like he had been doing for so long now.
He...really hadn't expected him to kiss him.
Izuku had wanted to kiss him back. After the initial shock of having to help his ex through a panic attack and subsequently being kissed by said ex, it felt good to feel his lips pressing against his own again. The last time they'd properly kissed had been right in front of UA that fateful day so many months ago, felt like an eternity to Izuku, really. He'd missed him so much, Izuku really had wanted to kiss him back but….he hadn't felt like he could.
Kacchan had been vulnerable, after all. He'd just went through a traumatic experience, had likely suffered from constant nightmares because of it and he'd gone through it all on his own because Izuku knew for a fact he'd denied their teacher's help. It was likely that he'd only kissed Izuku because of his jumbled emotions, because it was familiar and he likely needed the sense of familiarity to ground himself. Had Izuku acted on it, he would've been taking advantage of him.
Besides, Kacchan was still kept in the dark about everything. About his quirk, about his future. Izuku didn't really feel like he had the right to go back to him while these things were still left between them. Their relationship had been something pure, something the two of them could openly fall back in, if it was based on something as shaky as an unstable kiss in the aftermath of a panic attack it just wouldn't be the same anymore.
But that didn't mean rejecting him like that didn't hurt, and with the way Kacchan had actively been avoiding him these past few days, it seemed mutual.
Sometimes doing what's right didn't always have the best consequences.
Izuku's head felt fuzzy, his sight invaded by sparks and spots of darkness he was sure would fade in a few minutes. Kacchan was still on top of him, the aftermath of their battle finally showing through the clearing smoke and when Izuku looked around, he could see the damage the both of them had done to Ground Beta.
The rails were bent from when he'd been blown into them, the ground was cracked from when his leg had come down, buzzing with his quirk's energy. He really should feel guilty but...it felt nothing short of exhilarating.
Kacchan's grip on his arms loosened and Izuku took the opportunity to reach out. He placed his hands on either side of the blond's face, much like the way he'd done that night in the common room, and pulled Kacchan down towards him. He didn't try to kiss him, didn't try to initiate anything other than a forehead touch. Izuku only stared at him, stared at guarded yet glistening red eyes filled with equal parts suspicion and curiosity, and dragged him down into a long-awaited hug.
Izuku had lost their fight but at the same time, he felt like he'd won something far more important than an impromptu sparring session.
"So you really weren't lying, huh?"
I told you so, was at the tip of his tongue, but even he was aware that wouldn't be the best thing to say right now. Izuku hummed, his attention briefly shifting from the colorful rug he was vacuuming in favour of turning his head to face the blond. Kacchan had his back turned to him, shoulders hunched and face down with what was supposed to look like him focusing on his task but what Izuku only saw as underlying stubbornness. He almost smiled. "I was telling the truth from the start."
"I didn't believe you," Kacchan said, his grip on the vacuum cleaner tightening.
"Well, it is pretty hard to believe…"
"I-" he paused, whatever he wanted to say tough enough for Kacchan to choke on his own words. Izuku stopped vacuuming entirely, turning the machine off with his foot and fully twisting his body to look at the blond.
Izuku frowned, not liking what he saw. Kacchan still had his back turned to him, but he'd known the blond for years; he was clearly beating himself up over something. "Kacchan-"
"I'm sorry," he bit out, the words sounding more like a curse than a muffled apology, but Izuku was too stunned by the sudden gesture to actually mind. "I should have trusted you- shouldn't have said all that shit, I- Fuck!" He growled low, mimicking Izuku's earlier actions and turning the machine off with an undeserved kick. He yanked the cable out of the outlet, mumbling something about going to clean upstairs before angrily storming off.
This time, Izuku did smile.
It was weeks, maybe months later when Izuku found him stumbling across the dorms in the middle of the night.
Even when everything was cleared up between them, even with all of the secrets that had initially ripped them apart no longer existing, they hadn't gotten back together. Hadn't even attempted to, in fact.
Izuku wouldn't lie and say he didn't want Kacchan to be his boyfriend again, that'd be ridiculous, but he also knew that this wasn't a fairy tale. They wouldn't kiss and make up just because the secret was out now, wouldn't jump straight back into what they had before after months of fighting and uncertain glances. It wasn't that easy.
Kacchan knew the truth now, but Izuku knew the distrust he'd built up over the course of the year hadn't fully faded. There was the ever-lingering question of what else Izuku had hidden from him, something Izuku couldn't entirely blame him for yet still didn't sit quite well with him either. As cliché as it sounded, it was complicated.
But should Kacchan still want him- still want them ...Izuku certainly wasn't opposed to the idea, and he certainly was willing to work on mending the few cracks that had appeared over time.
But this...this was a different matter altogether.
Izuku hadn't really been able to sleep that night, certain key events still lingering in his mind. It'd been about a month after the internships and really, trouble really did seem to follow him wherever he went. It'd been an absolute disaster, ending with one major loss to the hero industry and one to UA itself, and even with Mirio's constant assurance that it was fine and that he shouldn't be blaming himself, Izuku couldn't stop it. Worrying, it seemed, was simply in his nature.
So he'd left his room, heading downstairs and into the kitchen with full intention of getting a glass of warm milk or something else to help him sleep, only he never made it that far because a loud crash in the hallway caught his attention and by that point his hero training had developed far enough for him to bolt into the next room without even a moment's hesitation.
That's how he found Kacchan, red-faced and stumbling, the majority of his weight being supported by both Kirishima and Kaminari. He had his arms swung over the both of them, but he seemed to lean more heavily onto Kirishima, whispering something Izuku couldn't hear and ah, there was that odd feeling in his gut again.
He said his name in what could only be called worried confusion, just as both people supporting the blond caught sight of him and answered with a surprised whisper-yell of "Midoriya!"
Kacchan turned his head at the call, and before Izuku could ask what in the hell was going on, he'd wriggled away and leapt at him. Izuku only had his quick reflexes and the fact that Uraraka did this a lot too to thank for the way he easily caught him.
"K-Kacchan?!" He cried, staring down at the mass of blond currently snuggling into his arms with wide eyes and red cheeks. "What- what are you...what are you- why, you- uhm-"
"He got hit by a quirk," Kirishima finally said, looking a little too amused by the situation as he straightened himself. "Apparently it makes him very affectionate, he's been like this the whole way back."
"He got hit by a- how?!"
"What else?" Kaminari snickered. "Blasty got too confident and picked a fight with the wrong person, of course."
Izuku sputtered, trying his very hardest to ignore the way Kacchan's muscled arms wound tightly around him, his entire body weight hanging off Izuku like a spoiled child. He was snuggling into him, looking entirely too comfortable as he nuzzled his face into Izuku's neck, cooing about how gorgeous he was and how much he loved him.
If inheriting his hero's quirk was to be considered heaven, then this most definitely was Izuku's hell.
"Are you- Kacchan," Izuku wrapped a shaky hand around the blond's waist, hoisting him up and pulling him away enough for him to have a proper conversation with his two overly amused classmates without his ex trying to smother him in kisses. "Are you sure that's all the quirk did? Did you stop by Recovery Girl?" He asked, face flushing even redder once Kacchan started mumbling about how he'd still secretly been watching his ass even after all this time and, um, wow. "M-maybe...maybe it didn't make him affectionate. It, uh, it might have been some sort of soul switch thing and if that's the case then we're all in big trouble, especially the person Kacchan switched with, because he's pretty difficult to handle and who knows what he might-"
"Midoriya," Kirishima said, cutting off his rapidly increasing rambles. "We didn't go to Recovery Girl, but I'm pretty sure it's him."
Izuku frowned, something deep down telling him that he was right and that this probably was his Kacchan, just a needier version of him and that Izuku was overreacting. Still, he couldn't help but be doubtful. If his hero studies had taught him anything, then it was to always stay vigilant, and while he was known for being one of the more impulsive students; Izuku simply couldn't risk being mistaken if it meant that Kacchan was still out there somewhere.
He slipped his hands underneath the blond's armpits, pulling him off his chest and keeping him steady enough until he could properly look at the other's face. Love-stricken red eyes stared back at him, an expression Izuku hadn't ever seen on his face before in all their years of being together, simply because of the fact his ex-boyfriend was such a damn tsundere.
"Kacchan," he said, staring down at the hot mess in his arms and trying his best to keep his voice from shaking. "Where did I confess to you?"
"The fuck are you on about?" Kacchan mumbled, brows slipping into a mildly irritated frown. "You never confessed, I did. It was on the school rooftop, don't tell me you already forgot."
Izuku couldn't help it. He smiled. "Yeah...yeah, it's him."
So Izuku would be the first to admit that he hadn't had the most noble intentions in mind when he'd offered to watch over Kacchan until the quirk wore off.
And yes, it was wrong, yes, he probably should have called Aizawa and explained the situation to him, ask if maybe he could help or if he could keep Kacchan safe for the time being.
But that would've meant leaving him behind with Kirishima and Kaminari, and while Izuku trusted them, considered them to be very close friends of his and was very happy with the fact that they could get along with the blond so well, he couldn't do it. The idea of leaving Kacchan with them- of leaving an affectionate Kacchan with them...it didn't sit right with him. Call him selfish, call him irrational, Izuku did not want to think of the possibility of Kacchan snuggling up to either one of them. Hell, he didn't even want to know what he'd been telling them before Izuku had found him and honestly, this petty jealousy of his has got to stop.
It wasn't a very heroic trait to have.
Especially considering Kacchan was currently settled between his legs, trapping Izuku against his own bed and kissing the absolutely living daylights out of him. Kisses that, this time, Izuku really didn't have the strength to refuse.
He was weak to him, clutching the fabric of Kacchan's shirt in his fist and only dragging him in closer, chasing the feel of those soft lips with a sense of desperation he didn't think he had ever felt before. Izuku didn't even bother coming up for air, ignoring his own heavy pants and gasps in favour of staying as close to this man as possible. It was wrong, it was so, so wrong but… they'd been separated for so damn long - he really couldn't take it any longer.
Kacchan pulled back, grinning at the way Izuku whined and tried to chase after him. He pressed his forehead against Izuku's, intense red eyes solely focused on hazed green; watching him as if it was all he would ever see.
"I love you," he cooed, pressing another sweet kiss to the tip of Izuku's nose. "I never stopped."
And Izuku felt dizzy. His head was spinning, senses overloaded with nothing but pure Kacchan. He loved him, he loved him- despite everything that had happened, despite how long they'd been apart, he still loved him.
He wasn't just saying this in the heat of the moment, wasn't falling back on Izuku for the sake of comfort, he loved him.
"Fuck, Deku, you don't know how hard it was to stay away from you," he continued, either not noticing or choosing not to comment on the hazy look in the other's eyes. He ran his nose down Izuku's throat, quietly breathing him in. "It was a fucking nightmare. It didn't help that you sit right behind me either, but I was just so mad, I-"
Izuku reached out, grabbing hold of Kacchan's face with both hands and effectively cutting off whatever he was about to say next. "I wanted to tell you," he said, green eyes filling with clarity, almost glowing as he spoke and not an ounce of a lie to be found. "I wanted to tell you so bad, but I couldn't. I couldn't even lie and tell you my quirk came in late or anything before you found out, but I promised All Might. I had to do it, Kacchan, I had to-"
"I know," he leaned in, shutting off the rambles and continuing where they left off.
Kacchan's hand slipped down, running down his side and to his hip, deft fingers sneaking into his waistband and almost getting to the front of his pants before Izuku grabbed his wrist and yanked his hand back out.
"No," he panted, his eyes wide and his face red, what little sense he still had left telling him to stop. "Not- not like this, Kacchan." He'd regret it, they both would and Izuku was sure of it.
Kacchan didn't seem too bothered. He just stared at him, those sharp red eyes of his scanning his face before he shrugged and pulled him back in, making sure to keep his hands no lower than Izuku's waist this time.
And despite his better judgement, despite having created the right opportunity to go and put a stop to this completely, Izuku didn't do it. He let the blond snuggle up into him, let him smother him in kisses, let him whisper sweet things into his ear. He didn't have the strength nor the willpower to try and refuse him, didn't even want to if he was being fully honest. Izuku fell right into the other boy the same way he had done so many years ago and at the moment he couldn't find it in himself to regret a thing.
He always had been weak for Kacchan.
When Izuku woke up the following morning it was safe to say he felt like absolute shit.
Because now that his mind wasn't a kiss-filled haze, now that he was able to think properly, Izuku realized he'd gone and done the one thing he never wanted to do; had gone and done the worst thing he possibly could have.
Kacchan had been under the influence of a quirk, he hadn't been himself at all and yet….and yet Izuku had taken advantage of him without even bothering to think about it!
Sure, he'd stopped him before they could go too far but he hadn't done anything to stop the onslaught of kisses and affection- had encouraged it in fact and oh god, he was a horrible person. He didn't deserve his quirk, didn't deserve to call himself a hero, he was the scum of the earth and he really should just go and quit his hero lessons after apologizing to Kacchan as many times as possible, if he didn't go and kill him first. He should-
Kacchan grunted, shifting behind him and Izuku instantly stiffened, his hands lowering from where they'd been covering his flushed face and wide eyes. Right, he hadn't gone back to his room last night. Kacchan had passed out right next to him and Izuku couldn't find it in himself to wake him up and sent him off; had justified his decision by comparing it to the countless sleepovers they used to have as kids while knowing damn well it wasn't anything like that.
God, this couldn't possibly get any worse.
"Shut the hell up," Kacchan grumbled, throwing one heavy yet lazy arm over Izuku's waist and pulling him into a chiseled chest, blatantly ignoring the way the other boy yelped in protest.
What- what was this? Kacchan was keeping him close, snuggling into him, of all things. He had his head tucked into Izuku's neck, nuzzling softly into the skin. Warm puffs of air hit the back of Izuku's neck, a sensation he was much too aware of and holy shit, holy shit, holy shit! Was the quirk still in effect? How long did it last? Was Kacchan going to stay like this forever? Did they actually have to go and find the person who caused this to reverse it? Could it be reversed?!
"Deku," Kacchan hissed, the feeling of his own name on his skin causing Izuku to shiver for all of the wrong reasons. "I told you to shut the fuck up."
Okay. There was irritation in his voice. That was a good sign, right? Kacchan was always cranky in the mornings, not a morning person at all despite his ridiculous bedtimes and Izuku doubted 'affectionate Kacchan' would be this snappy at him. So did that mean he was back to normal? But then why was he holding on to him like-
With a low growl and an annoyed huff, Kacchan tightened his grip on Izuku's waist and flipped him on his back, narrowed red eyes staring daggers at him as he hovered over him. "The quirk wore off sometime last night," he grumbled, and upon closer inspection, Izuku noticed the lack of a love-clouded haze in his eyes.
He blinked up at him dumbly. "What?"
Kacchan, for his part, had the audacity to look somewhat sheepish. He looked away, cheeks a bit flushed. "...'t was probably somewhere around the third time I said I….loved you…" the color in his face only increased at that and before Izuku knew it, Kacchan had covered his face with his palm and hastily pushed him further down into the mattress. "It doesn't fucking matter anyway, alright?! I'm back to normal and that's all there is to it!"
Izuku blinked slowly, trying his best to see through the gaps between Kacchan's fingers. He was blushing, both of them were. The cogs in Izuku's brain were slowly turning, the final puzzle pieces clicking into place as all of it- and he did mean all of it - finally fell into place.
"Kacchan…" he reached out, gently grabbing the hand that was covering his face and slowly pulling it off him, the sweet scent of nitroglycerin that had been dizzying his senses going with it. Kacchan didn't resist him, not even when he held that hand with both of his scarred ones and pulled it close to his lips, not yet touching. "Yesterday, you told me you loved me more than three times…." He stated, looking up at the blond with big eyes.
Izuku was sure he had never in his life seen the other go this red, but here they were, Kacchan all but straddling his lap, looking about as embarrassed as could be. "So?" He snarled, hastily pulling his hand back and reverting back to what was surely his default state; defensive. "What if I did?"
He crossed his arms over his chest, muscles bulging but Izuku could only roll his eyes at the display. Honestly, he was like a growling puppy sometimes, and then he had the audacity to go and wonder how in the hell Izuku had come up with his pet name.
"You love me," he said simply, trying not to take too much pleasure out of the way his ex-but-soon-to-be-boyfriend visibly recoiled at the easy comment.
"Y-yeah. And?"
"And ," Izuku locked his hands behind Kacchan's neck and yanked him closer. They were face to face now, voice thickened, eyes lidded. "I'm pretty sure you want to kiss me."
Kacchan tried his best to scoff. "You're full of yourself."
Izuku leaned even closer, close enough until their foreheads were touching. "Maybe," he admitted. "But I know I really want to kiss you right now, puppy."
Izuku watched him swallow, watched him frantically look away because even after all these years, the blond was horrible when it came to showing affection.
It was...kind of endearing.
"I'd let you," he finally said.
Izuku couldn't help it; he snorted. "You'd let me?" He chuckled.
And there it was, that sharp, cocky grin that seemed to encapture Kacchan's whole personality with just one action. "Yeah, nerd, I'd let you," he grinned, lightly flicking Izuku's forehead. "Mind you, kissing me is a privilege."
"Is it now?"
"Fuck yeah it is, I'm the best kisser there is and you know that!"
"Mhm...I think I'm a bit better."
"Not a chance, you're way too gentle."
"And you're way too rough. Do you know how often my mom nearly fainted when I came home with bruised lips?" Izuku grinned, pulling the other even closer, eyes falling on Kacchan's lips. "It was an absolute nightmare."
Kacchan's eyes narrowed. "You loved my kisses, Deku, practically begged me for them for fuck's sake."
'I did not!' was at the tip of his lips, but Izuku knew they could keep going on like this for ages and frankly, he was tired of waiting. They'd been apart for long enough.
"Yeah? Prove it, then."
Kacchan didn't hesitate to do so.
Well, if there was one thing he'd learned today, then it was that Uraraka was definitely a lot heavier than initially thought.
Izuku had lifted her with ease before, of course. He'd bridal carried her during one of many training exercises, was often on the receiving end of her spontaneous hugs that required him to catch her in record time lest they both hit the floor, had tossed her across the field in the midst of battle and had even benched her once as a joke. All of that was a lot different from having her full body weight collapse on top of him from ceiling height, however.
The both of them were currently sprawled out over the gym floor, Izuku's head still spinning and Uraraka profusely apologizing over his mangled form from beside him, having hurried to climb off of him after gathering herself from the initial fall while some of their classmates snickered in the background.
They'd been training; all of them were. Uraraka had wanted to improve her balance without the use of her Quirk and Izuku had agreed to help; something which ended in her balancing herself in the air while Izuku kept her up through their clasped hands alone. It seemed like a good idea at first, even if Iida had been against it from the start and admittedly, they probably should've listened to him.
With a soft groan, Izuku righted himself up into a seated position, intelligent green eyes making a quick sweep of the room only to spot his boyfriend lifting weights in a corner of the room, hardly interested in Izuku's major fail and oh yeah, that's how they'd ended up falling. Izuku had been too damn distracted by the sight for all but two seconds and it had ended with both him and Uraraka tumbling like a house of cards.
But fuck, those arms were illegal.
"'m fine," Izuku assured, accepting the outstretched hand Iida offered him and allowing himself to be pulled up. His face flushed a little as he forced himself to face Uraraka and not the increasingly distracting blond minding his business in a corner of the room. "It's not your fault."
Well, duh, of course it wasn't her fault. She hadn't been the one blatantly checking people out in the middle of training.
He...he just couldn't help it, okay? Izuku had been telling himself this entire breakup that he shouldn't be staring at Kacchan all the time because frankly, he probably wasn't even allowed to do that anymore. Something to do with lost boyfriend status but- it'd been- it'd been hard. He'd watched him all his life and especially now that they were in UA it just- Kacchan had really been upping his training and…. Jesus , his arms.
He had it bad.
And because of that he figured, now that they were back together and Izuku was fully allowed to stare again, could anyone really blame him for fully indulging?
The answer was yes, yes they could blame him.
In the short minutes that Izuku had been talking to his friends and simultaneously having an existential crisis, Kacchan had switched to sparring Sero, apparently. The green-eyed boy looked up just in time to see Sero sweep behind the blond and grabbing him in a chokehold, only for Kacchan to then easily flip him over his shoulder and have him landing on the padded floor with a harsh thud and somewhere deep, deep down, Izuku wished that was him.
-sparring, he meant! Izuku wished he were the one sparring Kacchan at the moment because, uhm, because Kacchan was a really tough opponent and it could definitely do something for Izuku's training, of course! He wasn't- he wasn't thinking anything less, uh, less pure, of course, that'd be….silly.
Man, these six months really had been rough on him.
They hadn't even gone public yet, a decision made only because of the fact that they'd been apart for so long and wanted to get back into it at their own pace without outside forces watching their every move. That had been the plan, but Izuku would be the first to admit that, while Kacchan kept up a consistent front, Izuku had been failing hard at it and it wouldn't surprise him if a few of their classmates already suspected something.
In the end - after a painfully awkward moment of Iida refusing to look at him and coughing into his fist while Uraraka just grinned at him knowingly - Izuku opted for moving over to the other end of the room, as far away from Kacchan as physically possible. Back together or not, Izuku would be damned if he let his distractions affect his overall performance. All Might had trusted him with his power, with his legacy, and Izuku was fully intent on fulfilling that.
He'd just been finishing up what must've been his six-hundreth one-armed pull up when a voice called out to him.
"Nerd," Izuku looked up at the call, damp towel swung over his shoulder and water bottle at his lips. His hair was damp with sweat, the wet curls falling into his eyes yet he could still make out the form of his favorite person approaching him.
Still wearing that illegal tank top.
He really wasn't making this easy on him.
"Kacchan!" He greeted casually, unintentionally amping up the cheerfulness in his voice- another thing that didn't really help their case because according to his boyfriend, he'd been practically sparkling ever since they'd gotten back together.
But Kacchan didn't pay it any mind. He stopped right in front of him, his expression unreadable and Izuku's sunshine smile faltered just a bit; his brows contracting in worry instead. He looked...Izuku didn't know how to describe it but...he looked like he was stuck in neutral mode, yet Izuku could tell he was very obviously thinking hard about something. It felt familiar, a look he'd definitely seen before yet he couldn't quite put his finger on when.
"Kacchan?" He tried again, taking just a small step closer. By then he could feel the eyes of their classmates prodding into his back, obviously sensing the offness of the situation but Izuku couldn't really bring himself to care. "Everything okay?"
Kacchan only stared at him, his face blank but his eyes holding so much. They were scanning over Izuku's face in pure thought, looking over his messy hair, his freckles, his slowly reddening cheeks- his entire face, really.
He stared at him like...like he was the only thing he ever wanted to see. Just watching him with those damn eyes of his, the look almost hypnotizing and it was in that moment that Izuku realized when he'd caught Kacchan looking at him like this before.
It'd been back at the entrance exam, right before Kacchan had kissed him enough to leave his head spinning.
Izuku's face flushed instantly. "Kac-"
"Shut up," Kacchan reached out, his hand locking behind Izuku's neck and pulling him in before he could utter another protest. Izuku was left entirely at his mercy as their lips met in a kiss that was unexpectedly gentle; Kacchan's lips guiding him softly until Izuku's eyes eventually fell closed, his hand tangling into the fabric of that cursed tank top without even realizing it.
And then he pulled away, sinful lips falling into an equally as sinful smirk as he wiped at his mouth, red eyes full of mischief. "Next time you stare," he started, his voice a low whisper right in Izuku's ear. "Don't make it so damn obvious."
He left, leaving a stunned, red-faced Izuku behind with their equally as stunned classmates. The room was silent even after Kacchan had exited through the large double doors leading towards the locker rooms, the gears still slowly turning in everyone's heads and when it finally clicked, all hell broke loose.
"Well…." Kirishima sighed, looping Katsuki's arm around his shoulders and ignoring the heavy way he tried to fight against it. "At least Midoriya and I won't have to be on Kacchan control for a few weeks after this."
Katsuki's blood boiled, the veins in his temple practically bursting. "The fuck is that supposed to mean?!" He yelled, blatantly ignoring the way that action alone made his insides feel like absolute hell. Fuck, that villain really had done a number on him.
Kirishima laughed, easily supporting him away from the debris caused by the fight and towards the paramedics that Katsuki certainly did not need. "You can't go yelling and cursing at civilians or news reporters if you're stuck at home recovering, can you?"
Katsuki placed his palm flat on the shoulder currently supporting about half of his weight, but Kirishima hardened himself just before he could explode. Cheeky bastard.
'Kacchan control' had become a thing shortly after they'd become pro-heroes and realized just how little Katsuki cared for his public image. It consisted of his former class apologizing for him whenever he snapped at someone, or in the case of Deku, outright translating what he really meant to clear things up because apparently Katsuki was only capable of sounding rude even when he meant well- which was absolute bullshit, by the way.
Deku and Shitty Hair were the two usually in charge of his damage control, but it was something the entirety of UA's graduates, including the fucking B class, was aware of, much to Katsuki's chagrin.
"Come on, man, don't be so grumpy." Kirishima tried, lightly nudging his side while remaining careful not to agitate his injuries. "You beat that guy's ass, getting yourself patched up after is only expected."
"I said I'm fucking fine," Katsuki grumbled, because while he did beat the villain and managed to get him into custody, he was also aware that at least a few of his ribs had been broken during the struggle and while he wasn't as careless in handling his body as Deku was, Katsuki didn't feel like something as insignificant as cracked ribs should be enough to render him with house arrest.
Besides, as long as Deku himself didn't find out, he would be-
"Kacchan~"
Shit.
Now Katsuki would like to make it abundantly clear that he did not freeze on the spot at that chilling call of his name. He was just….surprised, because damn Deku wasn't even supposed to be in this area for the time being. They'd called for backup, yeah, because the fucker Katsuki beat hadn't been on his own, but he was pretty sure Deku had been all the way across town when that had happened.
So the way his eyes widened had nothing to do with the nerd's tone of voice; nor did it have anything to do with the fact that Katsuki recognized this overly sweet, fake-ass tone because Deku only used it whenever he was beyond pissed. Not at all.
He turned, only to find Deku staring back at them with the sweetest smile in existence. He'd even lowered his mouth guard so it was on full display and anyone else would've been easily fooled, but not Katsuki.
Deku's eyes always seemed to glow a little brighter whenever he smiled, but that wasn't the case now. In fact, the green in his eyes looked a little clouded, a little darker, and yeah, he was pissed off, alright.
God damn it, someone up there must've really hated him.
Deku skipped closer, his faked smile briefly directed at Kirishima in greeting before he turned his attention back to Katsuki, his gloved hands reaching for his face to inspect it for injuries. "You really were amazing out there, Kacchan!" He beamed.
Katsuki only grunted in response, and just for a second, Deku's expression twitched.
"We managed to take out the rest of his team while you were dealing with him, so everyone's scouting the area for any stray civilians that might have been caught in the crossfire." He continued, green eyes falling back on Kirishima who had awkwardly been watching the exchange. "Maybe you should go and help them, we don't have as many heroes on damage control right now."
Kirishima definitely didn't need to be told twice, he was gone quicker than Katsuki realized and he had to wonder if maybe he'd caught on to Deku's underlying rage.
Oh, right, he had to deal with that now.
"Was that a new technique just now?" Deku asked cheerfully. "....I've never seen you utilize your explosions that way!"
His hands slid down his sides, gently checking him for any other injuries besides the scratches on his face and bruises on his arms. His fingers brushed over his ribs, and when Katsuki was unable to stop the instinctive hiss that followed the touch, Deku went rigid once again, yet that god-awful smile remained present.
"Just spit it out." Katsuki grumbled, not about to play along with his act for much longer.
And just like that, Deku's smile fell, as did the cheerful tone in his voice. "You weren't planning on getting yourself checked out, were you?"
Katsuki didn't look at him. "It's nothing that needs to be checked."
"Your ribs are broken, Kacchan!" He hissed back, pulling him just a bit closer and not giving a single shit if that agitated the wounds because it was likely to prove his point. "How do you expect to continue doing your work properly if you can't even breathe?"
"And you're trying to tell me that?!" Katsuki snapped. He glared down at him, not surprised to find the little bastard glaring right back because it seemed like the only way to get this man genuinely pissed was when it concerned Katsuki's well-being. Typical. "Your record of not taking care of yourself is way higher than mine! In fact, you've been limping this entire fucking time - don't think I didn't notice."
"That-" Deku faltered just a little, obviously not having counted on being caught, but it was true. If Katsuki had to guess, he'd say that one of his legs had been hit badly during the fight, and he did a poor job of hiding it, too. "That doesn't matter, we're talking about you now-"
"Not the fucking point, Deku! If your injuries don't matter, then neither should mine-"
Deku yanked him down, his fingers holding a dead grip on Katsuki's chin and his eyes filled with green fire. "Listen, puppy," he started, his voice a low, deep growl. "The only marks that should be left on your body are ones made by me, are we clear?"
GTA wasted noise, Roblox 'oof' sound. Total. Fucking. Knockout.
Katsuki felt his face catch fire, his intelligent mind entering a forced shutdown for just a moment because he had not expected that to come out of sweet little Deku's mouth. Not in public, at least.
And the little asshole knew it too, if the smug look on his damn face was anything to go by. "Good," he said, releasing Katsuki's chin in favor of grabbing his hand instead and dragging him along with him. "Now let's go see Recovery Girl."
Katsuki allowed it, didn't protest, didn't try to fight him, mainly because he really didn't have a clue on how to respond. But then his eyes fell on the nerd's still-limping form and he decided that, if he was going down, he wasn't about to do it alone.
"You first."
Deku halted. "Kacchan…"
"I mean it, Deku."
He glanced back at him, but Katsuki really wasn't about to budge on this one. He might've caught him off guard initially, but if Katsuki was expected to make a full recovery before throwing himself back into his work, then Deku most definitely wasn't about to go around kicking villains with a fucked up leg.
And Deku probably noticed, too, because he didn't offer anything other than a grumbled "Fine…." paired with a pout that really shouldn't have been as adorable as it was.
Katsuki teasingly ruffled his hair in response, grinning at the whines he received in protest.
It'd been a slow day, so when Katsuki came home to find Deku sound asleep in their bed, he wasn't the slightest bit surprised.
Katsuki entered the room with as little noise as possible because for as brash as he was, he didn't want to risk waking his little nerd up just yet. He'd been on a positively hellish schedule this past week; the both of them had been. Rescue missions, stealth operations, large-scale villain attacks in the heart of the city, it just didn't seem to stop.
What made all of it even worse was the fact that they'd been on separate shifts through it all. The Wonder Duo had officially been split apart for the time being and it took its toll on the both of them. Deku had to leave when Katsuki came home and the opposite was also true, the only time either of them really got to see one another being through the global news channel.
So waking the asshole up right after Katsuki had come off his night shift, even if the following day was their rare shared day off? Nah, best to let him sleep while he could. Fucker had been working himself to the bone anyway, like the total overachiever that he was.
Shedding himself of his uniform and deciding that fuck it, he could just sleep in his boxers - it wasn't like Deku hadn't ever seen him naked before - Katsuki slid into bed next to his sleeping boyfriend, lidded eyes falling onto his face and scanning his features with a soft smile that he would keep secret to his grave.
He looked so….peaceful, like this. Calm. Katsuki knew for a fact that Deku hadn't been sleeping properly ever since their last year of UA. He'd always been the perfect night owl to Katsuki's early bird, going to bed late to stay up and train and waking up as late as possible, but by the time they were getting ready to graduate, his already unhealthy sleeping schedule had only worsened. He'd started waking up at the ass-crack of dawn to get more shit done, while still refusing to go to bed at a time recommended for most functional human beings. Sometimes he didn't even sleep at all.
Katsuki had spent a lot of their last year wrestling the bastard into bed with him at the appropriate times, just to get him to sleep because damn it if he had to force him to stay healthy then he damn well would. Deku was useless to him if he couldn't even stay on his own two feet due to insomnia… and Katsuki really didn't want to see him break himself down like that.
So seeing him like this now, with his pretty lashes fanning his freckled cheekbones, his expression the epitome of peace, Katsuki couldn't resist running his hand through those soft curls of his.
Deku's bleary eyes blinked open instantly, albeit lazy, but Katsuki just shushed him. Green eyes cleared up just a little, and when he finally recognized the person laying beside him, his tensing body melted right back into the sheets.
"Kacchan…" he mumbled, his voice, for all purposes, sounding like that of a tired child and really if he kept this up Katsuki didn't think he could handle any more of this cuteness. "You're home…"
"Yeah, nerd." Katsuki said, a light chuckle in his voice as he softly massaged the other's scalp. His eyes were warm, nothing but pure fondness hidden within them but it wasn't like his boyfriend was lucid enough to pick up on it. "I'm home, now go back to sleep."
Deku blinked once. Twice. And then he lightly knocked Katsuki's hand off in favor of snuggling in close to him, his face nuzzling into the blond's neck and Katsuki could only snort and accept the sudden assault.
"Did you get hurt?"
Katsuki wrapped his arms around Deku's middle. "Don't be a dumbass."
"Yeah…" Deku hummed, snuggled in even closer. "I guess you wouldn't."
"Go back to sleep, Deku."
Deku didn’t say anything for the first fifty seconds, and then the following twenty. Katsuki figured the nerd had fallen back asleep but then he shifted, scarred arms reaching up and around Katsuki’s neck until bright green met dark red. “Noooo,” he whined. “Not until you kiss me.”
"So needy…" Katsuki lifted his boyfriend's head up just a bit, first planting a soft kiss between his brows, followed by an equally as soft one on his lips. The haze in Deku's eyes had already started to clear up by then, having been awake long enough, but oddly enough, he was also the type who was able to fall back asleep in seconds; provided his mind was empty enough.
Deku gave a content sigh, his lips curling into a satisfied smile that Katsuki couldn't help but kiss again. "Love you, Kacchan," he whispered, his eyes already falling closed again.
"Yeah...love you too, nerd."