Work Text:
Hiyori slammed his hands down on the desk eagerly. “Ah! Hiyori-kun...what’s up?” Shin shuddered a bit and looked up at him, a nervous look in his eyes. “Oh, nothing much...I just wanted to say hello! Why so serious, Shin? You should be happier!” He beamed as reassuringly as possible. Shin nodded and seemed to be trying to relax, something that was evidently quite hard to accomplish in Hiyori’s presence. How adorable it was…
“I’m sorry for looking so down...it’s just that I was thinking about something I heard recently, and it made me kind of sad and nervous…” Shin apologized. “Oh? What was it? Do tell!” Hiyori inquired curiously. “Um...have you heard about that disease that’s been popping up on the news lately? Hanahaki Disease?” He was familiar with it, of course. It really was an extremely prevalent topic in the media recently. “Oh, the one with the flower vomit?” he asked. “Yeah...they say that it only infects people whose love is unrequited, but still...how scary...to cough up flowers until your lungs are full of them...I hope it never happens to me…” Hiyori smiled at him fondly. “Don’t worry, Shin. That won’t happen. If someone doesn’t return your love, I’ll make them return it no matter what!” Shin softly chuckled at that. “Ehehe...that sounds scary...but thank you, Hiyori-kun. You’re such a reliable friend...where would I be without you?”
Shin’s soft and honest smile was precious. Hiyori had never cared about other people beyond what he could obtain from them, but for some reason, it made him feel a warmness he couldn’t describe. It felt like a brand new sensation entirely. The feeling was absolutely enthralling. “Haha, thank you, Shin! You are pretty worthless without me...but I don’t mind protecting you.” He didn’t notice at the time, but his tone had sounded uncharacteristically sincere and tender. His eyes looked oddly mellow and welcoming to Shin, who for the first time felt as though he didn’t need to look away. Hiyori savored this warmth inside him, but his pleasant mood was slightly dampened by a sudden scratchiness in his throat. Oh my...how annoying...If it’s still acting up tonight, I’ll have to have some tea…
The scratchiness had unfortunately persisted, so he decided to go through with his plan and prepare some tea that evening. As it was brewing, he reflected on that odd sensation he had felt earlier that day. Hiyori was very aware that he didn’t feel emotions they way “normal people” did. He didn’t consider himself handicapped in any way, but he understood he lacked empathy and a level of ability to truly connect with others. Throughout the years, he had become a master at faking it, but he truthfully didn’t comprehend what actual love and admiration felt like. Perhaps it was on his mind because of what the topic had been when that bizarre emotion came over him...but he couldn’t help but consider the possibility that what he felt had been similar to love. That was a silly idea, however. Shin was just a subject he was researching, just like all the rest. Why would he suddenly feel something akin to love for such a typical, unspectacular boy? It didn’t make even a little sense.
During his pondering, the scratchiness had begun to irritate him enough to cause him a slight cough. It was quite aggravating. Luckily for him, the tea was done. As he prepared to pour it, he noticed something odd on his scarf. There were a few small lime hydrangea petals resting there. Hm...how’d these end up stuck in here? The wind must have blew them onto me…He picked them off and watched them flutter to the ground. In the back of his mind, he had a suspicion about those petals, but he didn’t allow himself to think about it too hard. He simply poured his tea and sat down to sip it comfortably. For the rest of that night, he found himself thinking about Shin and his strange experience…
After school the next day, Hiyori found his eyes unusually drawn to Shin as they chatted by the entrance. Across from them, a boy pulled a pink piece of paper out from his shoe locker. “Oh...what’s this?” The boy smirked. He unfolded the letter and started to laugh. “Oh man, Minami-san likes me!? Pfft, does that loser actually think anyone would like her? And how cliché it is, too! Is she even trying?” He and his friends all laughed at the letter together, all at the expense of the poor sender’s feelings. Shin sighed when he heard that. “That’s so terrible...that poor girl...I bet she really loved him. I hope she doesn’t end up getting the disease…” Hiyori chuckled at that. “You’re such a worrier, Shin...you don’t even know that girl. Don’t let it get to you.” But Shin continued to frown. “It doesn’t matter if I know her or not...I don’t want anyone to suffer like that...is that really so weird?” Hiyori grinned. “Ahaha, it is pretty weird actually!” he retorted. “Oh...is it…? I guess I am a worrier...sorry, Hiyori-kun…” Shin said, looking downwards dejectedly. “It’s okay, Shin! Don’t worry about it. How about we go to a cafe in town? I’ll buy you a drink!” Hiyori offered. “Oh...y-you will? Okay, sure. Thank you, Hiyori-kun...you’re so nice to me…”
Hiyori took a long sip of his coffee, staring into Shin’s eyes. Shin seemed overwhelmed and avoided eye contact. “I’m still thinking about that poor girl...love is scary, isn’t it, Hiyori-kun?” He had no real experience with such things, but he answered confidently and casually nonetheless. “Hm...I suppose so...ahaha, the world is a scary place, isn’t it, Shin?” Shin forced himself to look Hiyori in the eyes. “Maybe it is...b-but...I think that’s what makes life so exciting. Because...we’d never be able to enjoy accomplishments and happy outcomes if there wasn’t the fear of failure and sadness.” Hiyori blinked at that. What an unexpectedly wise response...he had never imagined such a statement would come from Shin. He felt that warmth welling up inside him again, as well as an itch in his throat. He coughed into his sleeve lightly and then sipped some more coffee. “Are you okay, Hiyori-kun?” Shin asked him, concerned. “Yeah, I’m fine. I might be coming down with a cold or something, but it’s nothing major,” he reassured. “Okay, please take care of yourself, Hiyori-kun…” He nodded. “Okay, I will!”
As Hiyori took off the jacket of his school uniform that night, he noticed some more light green petals on the sleeve, this time from a carnation. Ahaha...how strange...I must be a magnet for falling petals…He didn’t quite realize that the petals were right where the inner side of the elbow would be when he was wearing it. It wasn’t a very usual or likely spot for petals blowing in the wind to land.
Shin’s beaming face shone brighter than any Hiyori had seen before. He was unable to tear his eyes away from that picture of him he held. Shin...you turned out to be much more interesting that I expected… He felt himself filled to the brim with an inviting warmth. I’m supposed to just be using him, and yet...I feel like I don’t want to leave him...this is so peculiar. I wonder if he feels the same...he must, right? I mean, he trusts everyone…He still couldn't understand what exactly was plaguing him, but it felt so good he didn’t want it to stop. Then, all of a sudden, he felt nauseous and coughed violently, choking on something coming up his throat. Once the coughing finally ceased, a strand of saliva dripped down from his mouth, and it was connected to...a heavenly blue morning glory. “What? Ahahaha...is that...what I think it is? But then...that means...he actually doesn’t feel the same? That...can’t be true…” He felt his chest tightening. As he took in Shin’s smiling face, his eyes watered and hot tears fell down his cheeks. “Aha...haha...Shin, it’s not true, right?”
“Hey, Shin! Do you want to walk home with me today!?” Hiyori proposed enthusiastically. Shin was initially startled, but he regained his composure and nodded. “Okay, that sounds nice. Let’s do it!” For some reason, he seemed to be much more confident than Hiyori remembered. Just when had he started to change…? A tightness found itself in Hiyori’s chest again, but he hurried to shake it off. The two of them packed up their things and started their trek back home. “Hey, do you want to take a detour in the park? I think it’ll look really scenic with the sun setting…” Shin suggested. “Sure! That sounds wonderful!” Hiyori cheered. “Sometimes you do have good ideas!” Shin looked at him and frowned. “That’s not funny, Hiyori-kun. Please don’t say that again.” Hiyori was shocked. He had been teasing Shin like this the entire time he’d known him, so why was he saying something now? He shouldn’t have the spine to stand up to me...what’s going on? “What do you mean!? Of course it’s funny! Don’t you know that you’re all cute looks and no brains?”...That had not been a good thing to say. “Don’t,” Shin forcefully declared, “or else I’m going home alone.” Huh? He’s really serious, isn’t he…“Okaaay, fine. I’ll stop!” Shin’s expression remained stern. “Good.”
The late evening sunset really was spectacular. It covered everything with a warm orange glow. “Wow, it’s beautiful! Ahahaha…” Shin smiled proudly. “I told you so, didn’t I?” Hiyori had to concede, Shin was absolutely right. “Ahaha, yeah...you were right…” He sidled closer to Shin and tried to wrap his arms around him, but Shin slipped free and glared at him. “Please, don’t do that again. I’ve told you so many times that physical contact makes me uncomfortable, and yet you still do it! I’m getting seriously agitated here, Hiyori-kun.” Wh-what? Ahahaha...is he actually forcing me to respect his boundaries? What is this? Why won’t you be a good boy and let me use you…? “Shiiin, I just wanted to hug you because I like you so much! Why are you so angry?” He thought that might calm Shin down, but it only seemed to upset him more. “I’m angry because you aren’t listening to me! Why can you never respect what I tell you!? I’m really going to stop talking to you if you keep this up!” Hiyori couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Shin would...stop talking to him? That was impossible...he would never do that...but his face looked incredibly serious…
The nausea and throat pain hit him like a storm. He was suddenly choking, gasping for breath, perennial geraniums pouring out of his mouth. He desperately clawed them away so Shin couldn’t see. “A-ah! Hiyori-kun, what’s wrong? Are you okay!?” Shin called to him in shock and fear. “I-*cough* I’m fine...*coughcoughcough*...I just need to r-rest! I’ll...*hack* see you tomorrow, Shin…” Still hacking up his lungs, Hiyori sprinted away, leaving Shin alone and completely confused.
He collapsed onto a chair as soon as he got home. A trail of fallen saliva-covered petals had followed him. His breath had finally begun to return to normal, his throat still aching. “Hahaha...oh god, I’m dying, aren’t I?” Well, it’s fine. I can pay for the removal surgery and be done with it……but if I do...that feeling...would be gone...ahahaha...what’s come over me? Why can’t I...get rid of it? It hurts…but it’s so wonderful…
There Shin was, walking down the empty street, paying no attention to his surroundings. Now was the time to strike. Hiyori sneakily approached him and pushed him against a nearby wall. “Ahhhh! H-Hiyori-kun, what are you doing!? Let me go!” He squirmed uselessly against Hiyori’s strong grip. “Shin...there’s something I need to tell you, okay? Listen closely~” Shin’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean!? What are you trying to do!? Cut it out!” Hiyori stared at him obsessively and smiled widely. “Shin...I finally figured it out...I’m in love with you! You aren’t worthless at all, you’re wonderful...so...will you be my boyfriend?” He was genuinely begging for the first time in his entire life. “Wh-what? I...Hiyori-kun...I...please don’t hurt me…” Shin began to tear up out of fear. “I won’t! So just say yes, okay?” Shin frowned sadly.
“Hiyori-kun...I’m sorry...but I...I...I already have a girlfriend...so please, just let me go…” Hiyori pressed him against the wall harder. “Sorry, but I can’t do that! You don’t need some random bitch, you need me! What could she possibly have that I don’t!?” His eyes were filled with desperation and madness. “I love her because she actually treats me with respect! She doesn’t force me into things and still touch me when I tell her not to! And she doesn’t constantly berate and insult me! That’s what she has that you don’t!” Hiyori felt a sharp pain in his chest and throat. He dug his fingernails into Shin’s skin. “Ahahaha...but...I was there for you when no one else was...I took care of you when no one else did...I gave you all those nice things, didn’t I? Ahahahahahahahaha!!” He was shaking now, his eyes filled with brightly-colored rings of unbridled madness. “But that’s not love! You were just trying to get me to do what you wanted, weren’t you!? I’m not falling for it any more, Hiyori! Now, let me go already! I’ll never love someone as horrid as you!”
The second Shin said those words, Hiyori’s mouth began spewing blossoms everywhere. His grip on Shin loosened as he doubled over. Shin bolted away to safety, not once looking back. Hiyori laughed through spurts of flora vomit. “Ahahahahahahahaha...ha...ha...ha…” Tears streamed down his face. Forgot-me-nots streamed out of his mouth...but strangely, they were all rotten and wilted. Following those were hydrangeas, carnations, morning glories and geraniums. All the flowers he had spit up before all erupted out of him at once, a disgusting wilted blue and green bouquet. He felt his breath becoming increasingly labored as his lungs slowly became full. The only sounds he could make were breathless sobs and laughs as his life slowly came to an end. So...this is what love is, huh? I guess I wasn’t cut out for it after all…
His sudden and truly heartfelt emotions were ones he could not comprehend. His fascination had overtaken him and he had ignored Shin’s feelings, letting his twisted affection govern his actions. That was his biggest and final folly. Now, he would be simply forgotten as the heartless fool who couldn’t withstand love.