Work Text:
Julian woke up suddenly, lifting his head fast from the desk where he fell asleep, no more than two hours ago. The nightmare still vivid behind his eyes, not that the dream was much different from reality. He paced around the office, waking himself up while massaging his temples.
When he was well enough, he sat again. Reading the reports that came last night. So many reports, so many deaths, so many suffering. If he was a better doctor he could prevent this, he could help, he could end this hell and make everything right again. If only he...
A familiar handwriting on the reports caught his attention. Something so messy like his own, tainted with a spit of coffee and inked fingerprints. He smiled faintly, finding funny that his new apprentice was messy like him. He remembered her concerned about that, asking if he could read it.
"Asra is always telling me to improve it. He can't understand it." She was looking over his shoulder expectantly.
"I can read just fine, don't worry." He loved the messy handwriting. It was like looking at his own papers. It was comfortable.
He looked at the date at the end of the loosen page and made some math, this was from a few days ago. She didn't appear at the office from quite sometime now. Maybe she had some things to attend too, after all she was just an apprentice, not an actual doctor.
A chill run down his body and his shoulders trembled. No, something was wrong.
He lifted from the desk quickly, making the chair fall, and sprinted off the office. He faced Valdemar passing by with a huge smile on their face.
"Oh, doctor 069. Where are you going?" They practically singed.
"Have you seen my, ahm..." Valdemar turned all of their body to Julian, still smiling. "My apprentice, Kalastrias. A tiny woman" He made a gesture with his hand to show the height. "Brown hair and eyes, speaks loud, is always angry..." He stopped describing her, his heart racing with the image of her created in his mind.
Valdemar cracked their head to the side, looking amused.
"Oh, yes, your disciple. Tiny little rascal, always ignoring me." Their smile grew bigger. "She is right here, doctor 069. I have just opened her." They turned on their hills, walking back to where he was and guiding Julian there.
"What?"
The pale skin of his face lost the rest of its color. Valdemar didn't say anything anymore, just guided him. Julian sprinted forward, searching all the beds, Valdemar has to be joking. They have to.
But they weren’t. Oh, no, They weren’t.
The rest of the room faded for him while he approached her, not feeling his legs moving him forward. Her body lied naked on the cold metal bed, looking even tinier comparing to the size of it. His hands cupped her face and looked at her, avoiding her open chest and exposed organs. He laid his forehead on hers and closed his eyes.
"Im so so so sorry." He whispered. "I know this is my fault, I know. You shouldn't be here, you shouldn't... If I... Only if I..." He sobbed, nuzzling on her face. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness."
He lifted his head and finally looked at her open chest.
"At least this i can fix. He is not gonna touch you again." He sniffed and cleaned the tears with the back of his gloved hand, smearing his face with her blood.
He started to close the skin of her chest. Valdemar walked to him and grabbed his arm.
"What you think you are doing, doctor 069? I haven't finished here."
"Yes.You.Have." He snatched his arm. "You're not gonna do your unnecessary work on her."
"That's not your decision to make." They circle the table, looking tempting to her body. "Now leave. I have to do something here."
Julian grabbed their hand before they could touch her.
"Over my dead body."
Valdemar smile showed all of their teeth. They straighten his back and cracked the head to the side.
"In time." They said and left Julian alone.
Julian followed their back till they vanished off his vision. He began to sew her chest, clean her face and dressing her with a spare uniform. When he finished, he touched her face again.
"Im sorry that you can't have a proper bury." His thumb caressed her closed eye. "But don't worry, i will carry you to Lazaret. You won't be alone again."