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“Gods, this sucks.”
Nico dropped his spoon back into his bowl of lumpy oatmeal. Will picked it back up and placed it into his hand.
”I don’t care. You need to eat.”
Nico rolled his eyes, but he took a bite anyways. He couldn’t say he didn’t like feeling cared for by Will, but sometimes he worried he was more of a patient than a boyfriend. Some mornings, Will would ask about his PTSD symptoms before calling him ‘babe.’
Even so, Will didn’t seem bothered. He continued to chat with his siblings, occasionally nudging Nico in the ribs to get him to talk.
Nico didn’t say much. He was tired, more than anything, and dreading today: strixes had been attacking the camp every few days, and even though some Hermes campers were out on a quest to find out why, each day a pair of guards had to be assigned to each quadrant of the woods. Today, Will and Nico were on duty, right in the dark stretch of woods that surrounded the Garden of Dodona.
Finally, he ate enough shitty oatmeal to be deemed acceptable. He dropped the spoon him the bowl with a loud clat.
Will looked to Nico. “Ready?”
Nico shrugged. “I guess.”
Together, they left the still-full dining pavilion and ventured towards the armory. As Nico strapped on a bronze breastplate, Will collected arrows from the camp store.
“Cheer up,” Will said. “At least we don’t have to go to the Athena Cabin lessons today.”
”Yeah, but I’m missing sword training. I was going to talk to Chiron about where to find more Stygian Iron, because my blade’s getting kind of old.”
”You can always do it tomorrow. Plus, isn’t there tons of that stuff in the Underworld?”
Nico straightened and checked Will’s armor, then his own. “I guess, but I kind of black out whenever I go down there too long. I don’t really remember seeing any. Plus, you know, I try to avoid it after...”
Will slung his bow over his shoulder. He didn’t have any pity in his eyes, and Nico was glad. He was sick of being treated like a cross between a kicked puppy and a repulsive corpse.
”Well,” said Will, “You don’t have to worry about that, today. You and me are going to spend the entire day hanging out in the woods.”
Nico laughed. “This is guard duty, Will, not a picnic.”
Will smiled and pointed to his pack. “Yeah? Then why did I pack apple strudels?”
”No way.”
“Oh, you bet. There’s never any attacks that deep in the woods. Might as well just take a day off.”
Nico’s face broke into a grin. Somehow, he was excited for the forest, even though he had dreaded it just a minute before.
He sheathed his sword and took Will’s hand.
”Then let’s go.”
——
Nico wouldn’t have called the picnic ‘romantic.’ It was more like two teenage boys in full armor sitting on a ratty, muddy blanket in a small clearing and throwing bits of strudel and fruit at one another.
“Shut up about Star Wars, Solace! I barely understand cell towers, I don’t want to know about lightsabers.”
Will popped a grape into his mouth. “I’m just saying, I really think you’d be a good Jedi.”
”And wear those robes? Absolutely not.”
Will looked him up and down, his torn jeans and faded t-shirt. “I’m not sure we can call your style right now any better.”
Nico scoffed. “Look at us. Bickering over clothes like a couple of Aphrodite kids.”
Will shrugged and leaned back on his elbows so that his face would be right under a patch of sunlight. Nico was tempted to make a photosynthesis joke, but Will had threatened him with infirmary duty if he did it again.
Nico remembered what Apollo looked like, all those years ago, tan and muscular and hot. Sure, Will had a good amount of familial resemblance, but he wasn’t quite the same. His beauty was softer, gentler. His eyes were a pale blue instead of striking cyan, his bone structure ruled by soft, curving lines instead of sharp angles and chiseled features. Sure, maybe Will wouldn’t be a supermodel, but Nico preferred it that way. It was about time someone was soft with him, a sweet golden glow instead of a harsh, blinding searchlight.
His thoughts were interrupted by a caw from to his left, deep in the woods. In an instant, he was on his feet, his sword ready in his hands.
Will sat up straight. “It’s probably just an owl, Nico. There’s no reason for a Strix to be in this part of the woods.” Even so, Will’s fingers twitched towards his quiver.
Nico scanned the area. He saw nothing out of the ordinary, just rustling foliage and a few angry beetles.
Slowly, he slid his sword back into its sheath. “I guess,” he muttered. He still felt off, though, as if creatures of the underworld were near.
He started to sit back down. “I guess this duty was bound to suck no matter what. It’s either boring or deadly, and at this point, I’m not sure which—“
Nico was cut off by another cry from the woods. This one was definitely a strix, and it was close. Too close.
Nico and Will leapt to their feet. Will swiveled his head around, searching in all directions for the monsters. Nico kept his eyes focused on the spot he’d heard the noise from.
A hundred feet away, the leaves rustled.
”Will,” Nico said slowly, not taking his eyes from the spot, “You got sharp arrows?”
Fifty feet, now, and the caws were growing in number. There were at least three strixes, maybe more
Will stepped up beside Nico and nicked an arrow. “Sharpest we’ve got.” Despite the fear pricking Nico’s nerves, he smiled. Together, they could win this fight.
Nico could see them, now, a band of five rocketing towards them. That number fell to four as Will let his arrow fly, and the leftmost bird fell out of the air.
Finally, the birds broke the treeline. Nico raised his sword.
”Remember!” He yelled, swiping at a bird as it flew back. “Don’t let their claws touch you!”
”No shit!” Yelled Will, shooting a second bird out of the sky. Will claimed not to be a fighter, but so far he had killed two strixes and Nico was still sparring with one.
A second bird lunged for him, joining the first. Nico slashed and swiped, trying not to touch any of them. He managed to slice through one, reducing it to a pile of dust on the ground. The second flew right at him, but Nico sidestepped just in time, and the bird ran headlong into a tree. It fell to the ground, dazed, but its claws still swiped rapidly at the air. Nico couldn’t get anywhere near it for now, but at least it was down.
He turned back to see Will miss a shot at the other bird. It flew right at him, claws first. Will took his bow in both hands and used it as a sort of shield, holding the strix at bay.
Nico knew it wouldn’t last long, though; the wood was already splintering where the strix held it with its claws.
Nico cursed. He knew what he was about to do was very, very stupid, but it was his only option. The strix was too close for Will to shoot, but if Nico tried to run at it, he would be dead for sure.
He raced over to Will. With one hand, he clipped the strix’s wing, making it falter. Before it could regain its wits and eat Nico’s flesh, Nico used his other hand to grab Will’s shoulder and fall into the shadow of a tree.
The emerged at the other side of the clearing. Nico fell to the ground immediately. Will called his name, but Nico just pointed to the bird, who was getting over its confusion rapidly. In a second, Will had it skewered through, and it exploded into monster dust.
Slowly, Nico stood. His limbs shook and his vision swam, but he was alive and more or less unharmed. A quick once-over told him that Will was the same.
”Nico, how many times have I told you? No shadow traveling unless it’s necessary!” Will scolded.
Nico blinked a few times. “Sorry, but I’m pretty sure keeping you from getting gutted counts as ‘necessary’.”
Will scoffed, but gave Nico an affectionate hand squeeze. “Whatever. I need to go gather my arrows.”
He moved to the other side of the clearing, cleaning up spilled food and splintered bits of wood. Nico leaned against a tree, trying to force his limbs to work again.
Then, an angry caw sounded from his left. As Nico turned towards the sound, he realized his mistake: he had never killed the strix that had been knocked out. And now it was up again, rocketing towards him at impossible speeds.
Nico had his sword out in record time, but the strix was faster. With a screech, it slashed its razor-sharp beak across Nico’s eyes.
Nico screamed in pain, scrunching his eyes shut and lifting his free hand to cradle the wound. Blood was already pouring, faster than he thought blood could pour.
Across the clearing, Will called his name. Nico, his eyes still clenched shut against the pain, slashed his sword wildly, hoping for a glancing blow at the creature. For once, luck was on his side, and he felt his blade cut clean through the bird’s flesh. Soon, monster dust filled his lungs and made his skin itch.
Nico dropped his sword and fell to the ground. He clutched at his face with both hands, trying desperately to stop the blood, ease the pain, anything at all. He heard Will’s footsteps running over to him, his knees hitting the ground at Nico’s head.
”Nico,” he said, his voice full of that forced, doctorly calm that Nico had always hated. “Nico, I need you to take your hands off of your face so I can look at you.”
Nico shook his head. His teeth were clenched so hard he couldn’t make a sound beyond groaning miserably, much less speak. He wasn’t sure he could move his hands away, they were so tense.
Will kept his voice steady. “I know it hurts. But I can’t help you until I see the damage, alright? I’ll be gentle, I promise.”
Will was nothing if not gentle. It was that knowledge that gave Nico the strength to remove his trembling hands from his face.
Nico kept his eyes shut, so he couldn’t see Will’s reaction, but he heard the tiny gasp that escaped Will’s mouth.
”H-How bad is it?” Nico forced out. Gods, he’d sustained plenty of injuries, but none had ever burned like this, radiating so deeply into his nerves.
Will’s voice had a slight tremble, barely noticeable. “You’ll be fine,” he said, but it sounded more like he was reassuring himself rather than Nico. “Can you see anything?”
”My eyes are closed.”
Will was silent. Nico’s stomach dropped.
”My eyes are closed, right, Will?”
Will let out a shuddering breath. “Probably just blood in your eyes. We can clean it out later. Just—just let me get some ambrosia.”
Nico heard Will rustling through his pack. He cursed. “Shit, Nico. I have some, but not enough to heal this. I—I didn’t think a strix would get this far.”
Nico scrunched his eyes shut, and hissed in pain as his wounds pulled. “Just give me what you have.”
Will’s gentle fingers pulled open his mouth and fed him a small square. Nico relaxed some, his pain eased with the taste of calzones and Will’s strawberry chapstick, but his wounds were not healed. The burn had simply lessened from unbearable to agonizing.
“More?” Nico asked.
”I’m sorry, that’s all I’ve got. We’ve got to get back to camp as soon as possible.”
”It’s not like I can shadow travel right now.”
”Gods, I know. I know.” Will was silent for a moment. Nico imagined that he was scanning the area, looking desperately for a solution. “Okay,” Will said. “Think you can stand?”
”We don’t have another option, do we?”
”Nope.”
”The I guess I’ll have to.”
Will’s hands found his shoulders and held them tight. “Ready?” He asked.
Nico didn’t trust his voice to come out as more than a whimper, so he just nodded. Will hoisted Nico to his feet, careful not to touch his face. He couldn’t be sure what was running down his face now, tears or blood or a mixture of both. All he knew was that he almost pitched forwards the moment his feet had to support him, and only Will’s arms kept him upright.
Together they limped along, Will all but dragging Nico. Every jostle, every shift of the wind sent searing pain across his eyes. It was all Nico could do from passing out or throwing up on his shoes.
They must have reached camp, because sunlight hit Nico’s skin, and Will yelled out for nectar. Nico heard a collective gasp, then dozens of feet thundering towards them. It was all overwhelming, and his mind started to fall back into the recesses of unconsciousness.
He fought to stay awake at first, but then he felt the burn of nectar being poured over his wounds, and he let himself drift into the void.
——
Rustling sheets. The smell of antiseptic. Some people nearby, talking in hushed tones.
Nico pulled in a full breath, let it out again. He figured he was in the infirmary, but he hadn’t yet opened his eyes. His face still burned, although it was bearable now, but he feared that any extra movement might shove him back into unconsciousness.
Movement beside him. “Nico,” Will whispered. “Are you awake?”
Nico took in a breath. “Yeah. I’m awake.”
Will sighed in relief. “Oh, thank gods. I thought that maybe...”
Will trailed off. They both knew what he was going to say.
”Am I safe to open my eyes?” He asked. “Or would that rip some stitches?”
Will’s gentle fingers prodded his face. He gasped in surprise. “Did that hurt?” Will asked.
”A—A little. But not too bad.”
Will was silent for a second. “You can try,” he said. “Be careful, though.”
Nico steeled himself. Will’s fingers found his and gave a reassuring squeeze. Slowly, cautiously, Nico opened his eyes.
There was darkness all around him. It was like a wall, blotting away all that was. Nico lifted a hand in front of his face, no more than an inch away. He saw nothing, not even the outline of his fingertips.
”Will,” he asked, a tremor in his voice, “what time is it?”
”What?”
Nico turned to Will’s voice. Nothing was there, nothing he could see, at least. “I said, what time is it?”
“You’ve been out for a day. It’s—it’s noon.”
Any hopes Nico had held slipped away. He fell back into the bed. The darkness wasn’t around him, a simple product of night. It was his own eyes obscuring the world, failing him.
”Nico, what do you see?”
Nico let out a breath. “You know damn well what I see,” he replied.
Will said nothing for a long, long time. Nico thought maybe he had passed out next to him. But then Will’s grip tightened on Nico’s hand. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m so sorry.”
Nico shook his head. There was nothing he could say. He had simply lost his ability to form meaningful words. All that was left were strings of thought, floating around with no direction or purpose.
He grasped at the first fully-formed sentence to cross his mind.
”Dad,” he whispered to the open air, “you’ve never given me anything for myself. Everything you’ve done for me was more for yourself. But you said you want me to be happy? Now’s the time to step in.”
Nothing happened. Of course nothing happened. The gods helped when they felt like it, when they figured they’d profit. Never did they act out of kindness for another, and certainly not out of love for their children.
Nico would never again see the stars, the grass, the trees. He would never see Annabeth and Percy graduate college, he would never see Piper marry whatever fantastic girlfriend she found. He would never see Will’s beautiful eyes again, the color of the sky, so gentle and sweet and everything that Nico needed. Never again.
Will was still holding his hand, his face pressed against it. His tears wet Nico’s wrist, his fingers stroking the skin gently. Nico did nothing. He stared up into the darkness, blinking at nothing at all.
Then, something new happened. It started slowly, so slowly that Nico wasn’t sure anything was changing at all. But eventually, he saw it: something was starting to glow next to him, something that he could see. It was like a ball of yellow light, swirling and shimmering and expanding until it took the form of a torso, a head, arms and legs, something close to a figure. The figure was bent over Nico’s hand, clutching onto it like a lifeline. The figure was...
”Will?” Nico asked, his voice shaking.
The figure lifted its head. “Yeah?”
”Will, I think I can see you.”
The figure straightened, and Will’s fingers tightened around Nico’s. “Really?” He asked, disbelief plain in his voice. “Are you—are you sure, it’s not just an imagination? You can see me?”
Nico nodded. “Not...not you, exactly. It’s like a light, but it’s...you. I think, at least. I think it’s you.”
And all at once it hit him. Hades had no control over vision, none over freak medical accidents or monster attacks. At least, no control when it happened to the living. But there was one thing that he could control, even on the Earth. Nico realized that it was the exact thing he saw before him.
”I’m still blind,” he said slowly, testing out the words. “But I think I can...”
”What?” Coaxed Will. “Can you see me?”
Nico turned to Will, looked his figure straight in the face. “I think I can see your soul.”
Will gasped. “No. No way, that’s—that’s impossible.”
”No, it’s not. I mean, when people die, I can see their souls leave their bodies. I always thought they were only visible in death, but...but I think I could see them all along. They were just blocked by your bodies. Now that I can’t see those, there’s nothing stopping me.”
Will considered him, that soft golden silhouette. The light seemed to brighten, and Nico wondered if he’d given Will something close to hope.
”I’m—I’m a doctor,” Will muttered, “I need some kind of proof that this isn’t a hallucination, or something.” Will cocked his head as if he’d gotten an idea. He twisted, and shouted over his shoulder, “Kayla! Get in here!”
Nico watched as something changed. Out of seemingly nowhere, a glowing green figure stepped out of the darkness, short and slender.
”What do you see?” Will asked.
”Green,” Nico replied, for lack of a better word. “Kayla, your soul...it’s bright green, like grass in summer. Gods, it’s so bright.”
Something changed in Will, something he didn’t quite understand. Maybe the shimmering picked up or the glow softened, but something shifted in him. “Holy shit,” he breathed. “Nico, you can see souls. That’s crazy, that’s insane, I...can you see anything else?”
Nico shook his head somberly. “No. It’s like you two are silhouettes standing in a pitch black room. I think I can see myself, but I’m not sure if my soul is a really dark purple or if that’s just more blindness.”
Will let out a breath. “Okay. You’re still blind. We have to accommodate that like we normally would. You’re done in combat, Death Boy, and probably most other activities. But Gods of Olympus, the fact that you can even...”
He didn’t need to finish. They both knew what was next.
After a moment, Nico asked, “Can you help me stand?”
“Why?”
”I...I want to see the other campers. I want to know what their souls look like.”
Will was up in an instant. He slung his arm around Nico’s shoulders and pulled him to a sitting position, then slowly, to standing. Nico swayed on his feet, but he didn’t fall.
”Okay,” he said. “Okay. I still can’t see the floor, or anything, so can you...”
He couldn’t even say it. Asking his boyfriend to lead him outside was so pathetic it was out of the question.
Thankfully, Will seemed to get his message. He carefully guided Nico around the area, and Nico heard a door open in front of them, felt hot air hit his face.
It all hit him at once. Explosions of blue and pink and orange, infinite shades, colors he didn’t even know existed forming human shapes in front of him.
One of them, a short figure made of purple so light it bordered on lilac, approached. It spoke in Hazel’s voice, “Nico! I came as soon as I heard what happened. Are you sure you should be standing?”
All Nico could say was, “Purple,” mumbled quietly beneath his breath.
”What?” Hazel asked.
Nico reached out a hand. It fumbled against the light, but eventually, his fingers found Hazel’s warm cheek. “Hazel, I...the strixes got my eyes. I’m—I’m blind. But I can still see you. I can see your soul, and you are such a beautiful purple.”
Hazel gasped, a light sound, like wind chimes in the breeze. “No, Nico. You can’t be...”
Nico nodded. “I am. But I can still see you. Maybe not like before, but...but you’re there. I know it.”
Hazel’s lilac form darted forwards, wrapping her arms around Nico’s middle. Nico almost fell, would have if it weren’t for Will’s strong arms steadying him. He held onto Hazel, drank in her warmth and the smell of cinnamon.
”I’m sorry,” he mumbled into her hair, though he wasn’t sure why. “I’m sorry.”
Hazel pulled away. She sniffed, and Nico felt a wet spot where her eyes had been buried in his shirt.
“So if I’m purple, what color are you?” She asked, clearly forcing nonchalance into her voice.
”I’m not sure. I still can’t make myself out yet.”
”And Will? What about him?”
Nico turned to the figure beside him. He couldn’t see Will’s eyes, couldn’t make out any of his features beyond his silhouette. But he studied the light, it’s swirls of color and shimmering brilliance.
”Yellow,” he said. “Like the Sun, but softer. I never liked yellow much before, but now...”
Nico wasn’t sure, but he thought that maybe Will was smiling.
He let Will lead him around camp. He stumbled three times, fully fell to the ground in front of what Will informed him was the Big House. Getting up the steps proved to be such a challenge with no vision that they decided not to try at all.
He saw other campers. Leo was bright orange. Piper was soft pink, like a fading sunrise. Annabeth was gray, bordering on silver, and Percy was deep blue. There was something so tragic, so damning about knowing he would never again see these people’s eyes, their noses or mouths or clothes or the way their fingers twitched when a scream sounded from far away. There was something so damning about all of this, it was insane.
But there was something good, too. He could watch people’s souls grow and change in real time. With most activities off limits to a blind man, that’s what Nico spent many days doing. He would sit on the porch of the Big House, watching the colors wave and go by until Will came to fetch him, came to remind him that he could live, too, not just watch.
Ages ago, if someone had asked Nico what he would give it regain vision if he had lost it, he would have answered ‘the world.’ Now, he wasn’t so sure. The world had never been so bright, so colorful, so full of life and light. Seeing someone’s very soul gave him such an intimate connection to those who would agree to it, and the right idea of who to stay away from before they had even swapped names.
Ages ago, Nico would have chosen true vision over seeing souls in a heartbeat. Now, with a shimmering yellow figure holding his hand and guiding his fingers along the keys of an out of tune piano, he wasn’t so sure.
Will laughed as Nico played the wrong note, and shifted his finger to the right key.
And Nico knew that his answer had changed.