Chapter Text
Coming out of the bathroom to face Kevin for the second half of their recording session felt like one of the hardest things AJ had ever done.
He wanted nothing more than to stay someplace cooped up with Howie, if possible forever wrapped up in each other's arms. But he knew that they had to join the real world again, no matter how inviting the thought of just ignoring it might be. So, like the good boy he tried to be, he followed Howie out of their refuge.
When they entered the studio, where in the meantime the staff had arrived again, Howie dropped his hand and AJ fought hard to suppress the irrational stab of anger. Of course Howie couldn't walk in there holding his hand - one never knew who might be interested in the extra cash a tabloid would pay for such juicy information. But still, AJ could have used the added support of physical contact. Specially after seeing the closed off look on Kevin's face.
AJ told himself to stop being such a baby - both Nick and Brian supported them and deep in his heart AJ believed Howie's assurance that Kevin only needed some time. It could have been much worse!
But despite all this there was no denying the tense air in the studio, very different from the relaxed atmosphere of the morning, as Howie and AJ joined the others to record one of their new songs.
Howie made sure to stand beside AJ, a gesture AJ really appreciated, specially when he felt a warm hand resting lightly on his back - an innocent enough move, but one that held so much meaning and comfort. And Nick and Brian did their best to diffuse the tension, goofing around. It was almost as if the days of Frick and Frack had come back and not even Kevin could hold on to his thoughtful mood when Nick chased Brian all over the recording booth.
With relief AJ saw a smile quirk at the corners of Kevin's mouth. No matter what - the group would survive, him being in love with Howie wouldn't break them up as he had silently feared.
Howie seemed to feel the weight lift from AJ's shoulders with that almost uncanny perceptiveness he had, because he smiled at AJ and slipped his hand innocently to AJ's waist, its warmth spreading all over AJ's body, causing him to relax even further. He answered Howie's smile and mouthed 'love you!', relishing in the look of pure joy on his lover's face. How could things be bad when he had Howie to make them right?
The rest of the afternoon went by faster. AJ noticed very well that Kevin did not once speak to him or to Howie directly, but there was no hostility, no contempt in his eyes when he watched them, so AJ decided to let it go. Instead he concentrated on imagining how to spend the evening, when it would hopefully be only him and Howie. He had some very nice ideas, mostly including the creative use of food...
But AJ should have known better.
It had of course been Nick's idea originally, but after some hesitation Brian was all for it, too. AJ noticed the secretive glances those two exchanged on the way back to the hotel and saw the excitement shining in Nick's eyes.
He leaned over to Howie, who was now holding his hand without any attempt to hide it, and whispered loudly: "Do you think we should be worried?"
Howie looked over at Frick and Frack who failed miserably to look innocent. "Oh yes - I think we should be very worried, lover!"
AJ felt a hot flush creep over his cheeks at the endearment and couldn't help but grin widely. Nick elbowed Brian and pointed exaggeratedly, but AJ could have cared less. He leaned even closer and whispered, this time only for Howie's ears: "Lover? I really like that! Reminds me of last night - and of this morning... The way you felt around me..."
With satisfaction he saw Howie swallow hard and his tongue sneak out to wet his suddenly parched lips. That, of course, was all the invitation AJ needed and he closed the remaining distance between them. Howie responded eagerly and once more AJ almost drowned in their kiss, revelled in the way their mouths seemed made for each other.
From far away he heard catcalling - Nick was obviously having the time of his life - and reluctantly he broke their kiss. Howie's eyes were glazed over and he smiled at him warmly, licking his lips as if wanting to savour AJ's taste on them. AJ thought that he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. "Love you..." he whispered, surprised at how soft his normally raspy voice sounded. It was the most sincere thing he'd ever said and he didn't care one bit if the others heard him.
The look on Howie's face was the best reward. A mix of awe, joy and love reflected clearly that AJ's words had reached their intended goal - Howie's heart. AJ had never felt better - nothing could equal the perfection of this moment. It was so intense that he thought he could touch the emotions charging the air around them. Looking for a word to describe what he was feeling, AJ could only find one - he felt alive, as if his life had only just started, as if the last 23 years had just been practice for this, for the real thing.
"I love you, too..." Howie's voice betrayed that he, too, was moved by what was going on, that he, too, could feel the intensity and brilliance of this moment.
They gazed into each other's eyes, completely lost in their own world, until it got too much for AJ and he turned slightly away, but not without lifting Howie's hand, that was still entwined with his own, to his lips. He tried to convey all he felt in this gesture.
As he put it down and rested his head comfortably on Howie's shoulder, his eyes met Kevin's, who was sitting across the aisle from them, watching them intently. The green orbs were filled with conflicting emotions, but when Kevin noticed AJ's slightly challenging look he smiled. It was still a bit strained, but Kevin's voice was sure as he said: "I'm sorry for the way I behaved - I see now that what you two have is special... And who am I to stop two of my best friends from being happy?"
AJ felt his heart swell - it was a rarity that Kevin apologized and he was really sincere. Looking at Howie he saw the same mix of relief and pride and they shared a quick smile. Obviously their little display had not moved just them, but also shown to Kevin something he needed to see in order to accept them.
Letting go of AJ Howie quickly leaned over and hugged Kevin. "I'm glad", he said simply and AJ nodded at Kevin to let him know that he felt the same.
The atmosphere in the car was still highly emotional and naturally it was Nick who couldn't stand it anymore. Pretending to vomit he announced that he was in the process of developing serious cavities and if they could please stop it.
Knowing very well that Nick had effectively killed the mood AJ swatted him. He had enjoyed this little Kodak moment, it was not as if that was a normal occurrence in his life! "You're just jealous, junior!"
Ignoring AJ completely Nick now turned to Kevin, obviously having one of his brilliant ideas. "Now that you've seen the light, too, Kev, why don't you come with us tonight?", he smirked with such devilish delight that AJ began to be very worried at that point.
Curiously Howie inquired: "And where would that be? Because me and my sexy boyfriend here already have plans for tonight..." He grinned at AJ, whose stomach did a little flip flop at that.
But now Brian added his two cents, knowing very well that they would take him more seriously. AJ hated it sometimes how they could all press each other's buttons - he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he wouldn't get a chance to find out what plans Howie had for them...
"Well..." Brian began, his ears reddening slightly, but going on bravely, "Nick thought - and I kind of agree with him here - that we should spend tonight together, relaxing together, getting the group dynamic back on track after everything that has happened today."
AJ groaned inwardly - Brian always managed to make things sound so terribly sensible! He didn't want to agree with him, specially since Nick had obviously planned something extraordinary and possibly disastrous. But exchanging a glance with Howie he saw clearly that Brian was in fact right - it would be good for the group if they spent this evening together. Defeated he asked: "What is it, Rok?"
But it was Nick who answered, because Brian seemed just a bit embarrassed. "We're going to a gay club!" he announced cheerfully, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Just tell me, Nicky - why the hell should we all go to a gay club?" Howie's words mirrored AJ's thoughts exactly. His boyfriend - his heart still jumped a bit whenever he called Howie that - was just as surprised and puzzled by this as he was.
Glancing over at Kevin he saw the same emotions, coupled with apprehension, on the older man's face. That was no surprise, AJ thought. After all Kevin had just managed to accept him and Howie - he was certainly not ready to go to face the completely alien world of a gay club.
Seeing their doubtful faces Brian hurried to explain: "It's just that it would give Howie and AJ an opportunity to relax and be themselves without having to hide - and I think they deserve that chance! And we others would get the chance to get used to you two being together..." He looked around, trying to gauge their reactions.
Much to AJ's surprise it was Kevin who reacted first: "I think that might really be a good idea." Seeing everyone's shocked faces he shrugged and explained: "You're going to have to hide your relationship - and I know exactly how hard that is, so I think that you should have at least one night of freedom. Plus, it could really help me understand a bit better."
Nick was beaming with pride that everyone had accepted his idea, but all AJ saw was the joy on Howie's face after Kevin's words. That was all the incentive he needed to say: "Okay, cool - as long as no one wants me to wear lip stick or glitter I'm all over the idea actually!" A sudden image formed in his mind and he leaned over to Howie and whispered, his voice husky: "Can't wait to dance with you again - this time just the two of us..."
Howie giggled, a sound that should have been ridiculous coming from a 29 year old, but that instead sent shivers down AJ's spine. Shit, was everything Howie did a turn on?
Going to the gay club seemed really appealing now - the thought alone of dancing with Howie, their hips grinding against each other forced AJ to readjust himself. No girls this time... Just them, dancing and touching, sweaty skin against sweaty skin.
AJ wondered whether they would have some time for themselves before leaving for the club.
They arrived at the hotel at that moment and everyone climbed out. AJ thought he felt Howie's eyes on his ass as he walked before him and turned to catch his eyes. Howie blushed a bit and winked, a contradiction that seemed endearing and sexy at the same time. But this brought AJ just back to his earlier musing about Howie's sexiness.
They weren't touching anymore and as they greeted the fans who had gathered in front of the hotel AJ discovered that he already missed it. He caught himself trying to stand right next to Howie, brushing his hand as inconspicuously as possible. That was of course a bad idea because it made Howie smile at him and AJ forced his legs to walk him over to where Nick was standing. Autopilot was a really useful thing he decided, because he managed to write autographs and hug crying girls without having to stop thinking about what he wanted to do to Howie once they were in their room.
Those thoughts involved a lot of naked skin and a lot of thrusting and kissing, so it was no wonder that AJ was in a hurry to go upstairs. Once in the elevator Howie took just one look at him and his eyes turned almost black with desire, something AJ had only discovered this morning and that he found almost irresistible.
The others watched their determined faces and rigid postures on opposite sides of the elevator with amusement and were not in the least bit surprised when Howie took off towards his room as soon as they had reached their floor. AJ was close behind him but managed to ask: "When do we leave? - And I'm talking about leaving for the club, not for dinner!"
Nick grinned and said: "You two have three hours - we'll be pounding on your door at exactly 10.30!" That was all AJ wanted to hear and he almost ran to what he now considered their room, where Howie was already waiting for him.
"Fuck!" was all he managed to croak as he pushed open the door. Howie had probably broken several natural laws but had somehow managed to get completely undressed in the short time AJ had remained behind. And now he was lying on the bed, wearing an inviting smile, his cock almost fully erect and just beckoning for attention.
"You like?" he inquired playfully, but AJ had lost control over his voice and could only nod dumbly. "Then what are you standing over there for?" Trailing one hand down his chest, around his nipples and over his abs Howie licked his lips seductively - and AJ almost lost it right then and there.
Who was AJ to resist such an invitation? He almost tripped over his pants in his haste to reach the bed and get undressed at the same time. Howie expected him with open arms, pulling him into a tight embrace, their bodies flush against each other.
"How long do we have?" he inquired before tracing AJ's jaw with his tongue. Answering was difficult but AJ managed a husky "Three hours..." before closing his mouth over Howie's and kissing him deeply. After that words became mostly redundant.