Work Text:
He wasn’t quite sure when he began to fall.
It was around 2am on a Saturday night, with the four of them the only guests seated at a dimly lit booth. It was the only place that was open, and despite his complaints of being too tired, the girls had insisted on eating out.
“It’s our last night in this city, after all! Don’t you wanna go out with a bang?!” Gumi had proclaimed with gusto.
He wasn’t sure how settling for a half-baked late night diner where people came to have existential crises was considered “going out with a bang,” but he wasn’t the type to make a fuss.
As Len stirred his drink, he eyed their surroundings. Despite being the only customers, it was surprisingly comfortable. The jukebox continued to play muted 50’s rock and roll — which he was quite fond of, actually — and the only server on shift leaned against the diner counter lazily, checking his phone. He turned back to look at his bandmates around the table. It wasn’t bad at all, really, for there was something oddly calm about the scene. Like something out of a movie, a golden moment filled with nostalgia and friendship that he’d want to grasp on to tightly.
Gumi was the noisiest of the bunch, especially when she was drunk. She wouldn’t stop swaying about, slamming her elbow on the table and demanding an arm wrestle from everyone, all while complaining about the rest of the bands that had played earlier that day.
“Dude, that kid- you know the one- he had the nerve to rag on me in front of a crowd and challenge me to a riff-off, and you know what he does backstage? You know?”
“Whaaaaat? What he do…” Rin slurred, her head resting on her arm.
“He asked me out! Disgusting!” She made a show of fake retching to prove her point.
Next to him, Len felt a startled Miku jump slightly in her seat, which caught his eye. Miku wasn’t usually the type to be spurred by Gumi’s nonsensical fights with other bands.
“How- how did you respond?” she piped up nervously.
Gumi snorted. “Kicked him in the nuts and left, of course. Wouldn’t waste my precious Gibson on his sorry ass.”
Miku giggled lightly, and Len turned his attention from Gumi onto her. She was very nice, and had been raised all prim and proper, her pigtails remaining curled to perfection at the ends even through the most arduous of days. The oldest in the group, Len looked up to her a lot, respecting her poise and ability to shine even on a messy rock stage. He raised his brows a bit at her fascination with Gumi’s artless tales and crude behavior. Miku was completely enraptured, hanging on to the green-haired girl’s every word with bated breath. It seemed incredulous for an aristocrat such as Miku to admire someone as coarse and vulgar as Gumi, but it made sense in its own way.
I guess opposites do attract sometimes, he mused.
Suddenly, a loud giggle-snort erupted from in front of him, and his eyes switched over to its source, an utterly wasted Rin.
Rin.
He often tried not to look at her for too long, lest anyone grew suspicious. It wasn’t like it mattered, but the tiny girl had a massive impact on his emotional state — much more than he’d ever admit, since it would ruin his invulnerable demeanor.
But it was late, everyone was loopy, and as focused as he usually was, surely even he deserved a bit of a reward sometimes. His eyes lingered on the stray strands of hair that fell from her clipped bangs, watching the way they tickled her nose, and how she’d vigorously itch it in response. It was no surprise that she was a lightweight, given how small she was, but it didn’t stop her from going all out.
He leaned his head back against the booth cushion and crossed his arms, keeping his gaze on her. Although he was two years older, he and Rin shared the same birthday; upon discovery, Miku had insisted that they have an extensive double birthday bash. One of the barrettes she was wearing, a particularly fancy one, was a gift from him the first birthday they celebrated together. Rin, on the other hand, had given him a pack of personalized bass picks engraved with his name and the band’s logo on it.
He felt a chuckle crawl up the back of his throat as he thought back on it. To Rin’s complete dismay, he had sheepishly told her that he hated using picks, and the look on her face, horrified and crestfallen, had made his heart clench strangely. Despite his declinations, she had gone and gotten him a gift card to a famous music store as well as a stuffed duck. It was so incredibly absurd that he had almost wanted to laugh. Why a duck? But he had kept the picks anyway, turning some of them into pendants he could wear.
It was probably around then that he had really begun to take notice of her.
“Len, you’re staring,” he heard Miku whisper beside him, and he jolted back to reality. She looked away quickly, pretending she had never said anything. He sighed, cursing her interruption of his reminiscing. Ruffling his hair in frustration, he closed his eyes, only to hear a tap on the table in front of him.
“EARTH TO LEN!” Rin was now drunkenly waving her hand in front of his face carelessly.
“...what?” he asked simply.
“You’re quiet… you okay? Howdya do today in the show?”
Her cheeks were flushed and she was grinning cutely. To his horror, she leaned forward to grasp his left hand, opening his palm and playing with his fingers absentmindedly.
“Maybe I would’ve done better if you hadn’t improvised that rhythm,” he joked.
“Wasn’t it you who said you were the king of improvisation?” she shot back cleverly, despite her inebriated state.
Her hands were small, and there was tape haphazardly plastered onto her blisters from constant drumming. He felt a shiver run through him as she ran her fingers over his own calluses over and over. Her eyes were hazy; it seemed like she was in endless deep thought as she massaged his fingers continuously, and he felt his heartbeat quicken with every rub. After what seemed like forever, it became too much to bear and he snatched his hand back, then quickly bonked her on the head playfully so as not to offend her.
“You’re too drunk,” he commented.
“We should get going,” Miku laughed as she stood up to pay for their tab.
They hadn’t ordered that many drinks, but Gumi and Rin were utterly hopeless, pushing and stumbling into each other while cackling into the night on their walk back to the hotel. It was all fun and games until Rin decided to unceremoniously trip over a loose metal grate.
“Are you okay?” Miku asked worriedly.
“I’m cold,” Rin whined, still on the ground.
And that was how she ended up on Len’s back, wearing his jacket, for the rest of their walk back. Miku had gone ahead, heaving Gumi’s arm around her for support, and looked back, shooting Len an irritating wink.
He wasn’t particularly strong, but she also wasn’t particularly heavy. The scent of sweat and alcohol on her was apparent as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hairs tickling the side of his face. Hyper aware of her every breath and sigh, he forced himself to keep his eyes glued on the road in front of him.
Just when he thought she had fallen asleep, Rin spoke up quietly.
“Thank you.”
“It’s nothing.” Maybe it was the way she said it, but he didn’t know why he was so nervous.
“You’re always so nice, Len.”
“That’s me, Mr. Nice.” He was trying to keep the mood light, intimidated by her earnest demeanor.
“I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
His mouth ran dry. He shouldn’t read into things, he really shouldn’t. He knew how friendly and honest she was with everyone, so he shouldn’t assume that he was special in any way.
He had already planned, long ago, on taking his feelings with him to the grave. There was a time, maybe two years prior, when he had thought about moving to a more exciting town, meeting some new people, and experiencing some new things. Before this band thing went too far. But looking at it now, painful as it was, he wouldn’t trade meeting Rin for anything else.
“I’m glad too,” he said dumbly.
She laughed and leaned forward more, pushing her front against his back harder, so that her face was right next to his. “You looked good today, performing.”
“You think so?”
Was this allowed? He tried his best to fixate on anything other than her softness pressing cheekily against him, and her hot breath on the side of his face. It was far too close for comfort, and he wasn’t sure how appropriate this was, because wasn’t she in a relationship right now?
Then again, maybe they broke up. Rin’s relationships never lasted longer than three months. He supposed that was what came with being cute and popular — people took advantage of you.
“Yeah… you looked like you were having fun. I’m always watching you from behind onstage.”
“It was a fun venue, and a fun crowd,” he agreed, opting to ignore her second statement.
“You were smiling so much. I love it when you smile… you don’t do it enough.”
It was like she was shooting him in the heart again and again; he couldn’t help but be consumed by lovesick, sappy thoughts. Before he could think up a witty response, she continued.
“Remember when I got you Socks? You smiled so much, I was so happy.”
That same smile crept onto his face at that moment, and he was glad that she couldn’t see it. Socks was a kitten that Rin had adopted for him, unprompted, after the loss of his family dog. He still remembered how she looked, standing at his front door all skittish, cuddling a little black tuxedo cat with white socks.
“I was happy too.”
They had reached the hotel at this point, and all bade each other goodnight before heading off to their separate rooms. Len carried Rin all the way to hers, and sat on the bed, letting her clamber off of him more easily.
As he stood up to leave, she grabbed his hand, surprising him.
“Can you stay with me for a bit? I don’t feel like going to sleep yet.”
He was pulled down onto the bed gently, unable to resist her advances. Wordlessly, she hugged his arm, leaning her forehead against it. He felt his entire body go numb, and a deafening silence enveloped the room.
They stayed like that for a few minutes before he realized she was crying.
He felt that familiar clench on his heart, and, unsure of what to do, reached his other hand up to comb through her hair.
“We broke up.”
He was right. Rin post-breakup wasn’t a rare sight, but she usually spent that time banging it out on a drum set during a three-hour long jam session. Due to their busy weekend schedule and out-of-town performance, she didn’t have the same opportunity this time around, forcing an upbeat attitude throughout the show.
“D’you wanna talk about it?” he asked softly.
She raised her head, locking her tearful eyes with his.
He was sick of people hurting her, even though it wasn’t any of his business. Maybe he should’ve been frustrated with her, for getting herself into these situations so often. But from those pleading eyes to that quivering lip, he couldn’t bring himself to chastise her. Instead, he brought his free hand from her hair to her face, brushing a tear away with his thumb.
It was a bold move, but the late night did numbers on the brain. She shook her head slightly and cried harder, letting go of his arm.
“Same old shit,” she muttered, the bitterness in her voice seeping through, “I was stupid to give him a second chance.”
Yeah, you were. Her crying face was distracting, though, and he brought his other hand up so he was cupping it fully, his fingers massaging the back of her neck lightly. Instinctively, she clutched onto the hem of his shirt. They were dangerously close, and she was leaning into his touch so much, it took all of his willpower not to push her into the bed and press his lips against hers, to strip her of his jacket and feel her softness against him again, reassuring her that she meant more than she’d ever know-
It wasn’t the time or place. Not like this. Not when she was in pain.
When she was all cried out, she rubbed the dried tears from her face roughly, pulled away from him, and laughed.
“Well, that was embarrassing.”
He was brought back down to Earth again, and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Stay with me till I fall asleep?”
He couldn’t say no, not to her. Leaning against the headboard, he rested his eyes, trying to calm his heart from earlier, and it wasn’t long before she was snoring lightly.
Letting out a sigh, he lifted himself off the bed slowly, careful not to wake her, and stopped short when he reached the door, turning back to look at her sleeping figure once more.
“If you were mine, I’d do right by you,” he whispered to no one, before turning the knob softly and exiting the room.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
As she heard the door click softly when it closed, Rin let out a huge breath, hugging her pillow tightly. There was no way she’d be able to sleep again now.