Chapter Text
“I’m in the middle of trying to love her.”
Yerenica felt pain in her chest with those words. Unexpected pain. It felt like hands reached out and squeezed her heart. The sensation made it difficult to breathe and she could feel her quintessence faltering despite the energy the emperor’s divinity gave her.
“What?” she managed to let out. Opening her mouth seemed to make her lose some of her oxygen from her lungs.
When she heard his voice again, she felt numb with his words.
“You will be sent back as soon as the King of Lebovny opens the Glucaman Road.”
With those words, Belgoat’s owner turned and left her by the gardens of the Imperial Palace, her blue eyes never straying from the back of the man who had just rejected her. Yerenica could not move as slowly, the man she had just offered her hand for vanished from her sight. The romantic and dreamy atmosphere of white rose petals in the air made her want to choke.
It hurts… She raised a hand to clutch her chest, her breathing coming out in short gasps. Ah, it really hurts. Why?
She knew that the words of love she spouted out of her mouth was… nonsense. She had admiration for him, maybe but not love. She wasn’t in that stage yet.
Am I?
Yerenica shook her head, staring at the lively green grass underneath her feet.
Her attempt in saving the man’s life had failed. Her attempt in surviving failed as well in the process. She let the painful and embarrassing experience go as she let out her frustration to the older man.
“What the hell are you thinking? Argh, that guy.” She huffed and turned to go back to her palace. “You don’t mean it.” Yerenica whispered to herself, ignoring the shocked and upset Marianne beside her.
“You don’t mean it…”
But what if he does? Yerenica bit her lips. He did marry Lady Elard despite feeling apprehensive of her.
“What would have happened if Lady Elard heard you?” her maid panicked behind her, a look of fear in her face and eyes. “The princess does not know how scary Lady Elard is!”
Yerencia let out a sad smile, not having the energy to respond more to her maid. “Trust me… I know.”
Painful hands grabbing her and trying to sink her underground…
Yerenica cleared her throat from the itchy sensation. “Anyway, I’m feeling tired. And besides, if something goes wrong, Raulus will take care of me.” she tried to reassure the anxious maid.
[Now, when did I say that?]
Yerenica gave off a low chuckle at the god’s question and continued on her way back. Her mind filled with thoughts as she tried to distract herself with the awful sensation on her chest.
Is it pride? Ego? Yerenica shrugged to herself as she continued walking, her hand on her throat trying to placate the itchy feeling. I mean… I… she shook her head and just went inside.
[Are you okay, Crumbs?]
Yerenica coughed to elevate the itchiness of her throat. “I’m fine.” She said. Thankfully Marianne thought it was a way to appease her after coughing. “I’m fine.”
✿❀❁❀✿
“I love you.” She cried, clinging to his pants. “Please, believe me. I do.”
The emperor of Belgoat watched emotionless at the woman who wept at his feet. His red-violet eyes continued to stare at the pitiful woman who was a sobbing mess on the ground, begging and begging for him to love him.
“What do I have to do to make you love me? What do I have to be?” she inched closer, crying at the clothing of his legs. “Do I have to be as beautiful as her? What will it take for you to love me?”
“Princess,” the low voice of Belgoat’s owner came to her ears and she looked up. Through her blurry eyes, she could see nothing but silver hair and red-violet eyes. “I didn’t kidnap you to marry you.”
“I don’t love you.”
✿❀❁❀✿
“COUGH!”
Yerenica bolted upright in bed and let out a cough. She clutched her chest and continued to let out air from her lungs.
“Cough, cough, cough…. Ahhhh.” She let out a sigh of relief when it was over, collapsing on the bed, filled with exhaustion from the involuntary act from her body. “Heuk…” Yerenica rubbed her chest to make the ache go away, her mouth taking in and taking out air to regain control over her breathing.
“Haaa…. Haaa…” she panted, sweat dripping down her forehead as she stared at the white, carved ceiling with sunken eyes.
[You okay?]
“I’m fine.”
[You’ve been saying that a lot lately.]
Yerenica closed her eyes and swallowed the painful and large lump in her throat. “I’m fine.”
✿❀❁❀✿
“Cough, cough, cough!”
“Princess?” Marianne asked out in concern, stopping her hands from pouring down her tea while Diego glanced at her in worry. Yerenica could feel some divinity coming from the man and she sighed. It was good, but it was not the same as his.
No, stop. Why are you thinking of such thoughts?
“Your Highness, are you alright?” Diego asked her worriedly as he leaned towards her across the small table. “You have been coughing since earlier.”
“No, she has been coughing for two days now.” Marianne bit her lower lip, “Should I call the Imperial Doctor?”
Yerenica shook her head while clearing her throat. “No, no. It’s fine.” She eased her maid and the priest. “It’s just a small cough that will go away. Also, I don’t think the Emperor will take kindly to me calling upon the Imperial Family’s doctor.”
Diego shook his head with a kind smile. “I’m sure His Majesty won’t mind, Princess. Especially when it comes to you.” Marianne flinched at his words and Yerenica looked down at her tea.
How would you know? She closed her eyes and let out a smile.
“I’m bored. I apologize but, I would like to talk a short walk by myself. If you don’t mind?”
“Princess---.” Marianne tried to protest but Yerenica just stood, leaving the two behind in the sitting room.
She passed by maids and guards who inquired over her health as she headed outside but Yerenica just shrugged them off, walking lethargically outside to the gardens.
The scent of white roses were slowly growing on her nerves but she continued to walk and take in the fresh air, fresh air that made her sick. Yerenica continued walking despite of the smell of the white roses, eyes half-open and not truly aware of her surroundings as she walked alone in the large unoccupied greenery inside the palace grounds.
Clack, clack, clack.
Yerenica looked up at the sound. For a moment, she had hoped it was the person she wanted to see after days but the moment she saw who it was, she coughed.
Red hair.
“Hahaha…” Yerenica let out an embarrassed laugh as she rubbed her chest. She offered an apologetic smile to the older woman. “I apologize for that.”
“…” Soleia Elard didn’t respond as she continued to give the Lebovnyan royalty a cold gaze.
Yerenica gulped down the fear clawing at her throat, fear that made it itchy and she wanted to scratch her insides because of it. It was the second time she had met the lady face to face, both of them had fear clouding her entire being.
“The… weather is very nice…?” Yerenica said awkwardly to difuse the tense and silent atmosphere between them. When Lady Elard said nothing, she continued, a forced smile on her face. “T-The sky is very clear, is it not?”
A rumble from a thunder could be heard from a distance and Yerenica wanted to cry at her misfortune. And here I thought speaking with a god would grant me luck and blessings.
Lady Elard finally graced her with a small smile, “Yes, it is a fine day.” She lifted her head to the sky with an amused glance. “I like days like this. I guess you do, too.” Those dark eyes went back down to scan her from head to toe. “You don’t look well.”
“…” Yerenica shifted uncomfortably underneath the gaze. It was entirely different from how she felt when the emperor did the same days ago. “I… hear that a lot lately.”
This… This was the woman who Belgoat’s owner would be marrying, this would be the woman who would have the chance to spend the rest of her life by his side---
“Cough, cough, cough!” Yerenica doubled over, covering her mouth with one hand while the other went to her stomach. “Cough, cough, cough!”
“My… Are you alright?”
Yerenica let out a breath of air as she waved off the woman’s concerns. “Oh, it’s fine. Nothing some ginger and honey won’t fix, trust me.”
“… You,” Yerenica hesitantly lifted her eyes at her hearing Lady Elard speak once again, “You must have be having some trouble sleeping.”
“…”
Yerenica stiffened at the comment from the woman before her. And her eyes hardened. How does she know? Her frozen figure worsened when the woman stepped closer to her and whispered in her hear.
“You look as if you have been haunted.” She whispered as if she was sharing a secret. “I don’t know but, you must have been possessed by something.” Lady Elard pulled away, that all-too-similar smile still on her face as she looked down at Yerenica.
“…” Yerenica stared at the woman for a moment, before she let out a bright smile. “My, a ghost? I don’t know what you mean, Lady Elard.”
Has she done something? Why is she making it sound so obvious? Her hands twitched. Is it because she knows that His Majesty won’t believe me?
Yerenica cleared her throat, her bright smile ever in her face despite her lips struggling to keep the act. “My dreams have been very rough lately. How do you find out? What an amazing talent Lady Elard.” She complimented while the woman continued to stare at her, saying nothing. Those red lips remaining in that smile.
Ah, I want to leave.
“I heard you’re a very strong wizard. How amazing!” she clapped in wonder and delight, trying to feign an act of being a naïve, ignorant and silly princess in front of the frightening and powerful dark wizard.
In reality, she wanted to collapse on the ground, her knees were shaking with nervousness and she hoped it didn’t show.
Lady Elard let out a smooth smile after a moment. “You… look fine.”
“How kind of you, My Lady.” Yerenica giggled, hiding her inner thoughts and expression. Please, just go away already! She wanted to cry to the woman but she refrained. For some reason, the more time she spent in this woman’s company, the more itch appeared on her throat and the more she wanted to… to just… cry.
What?
“I wish you good health, Princess.” Lady Elard let out a mocking smile which Yerenica wanted to run away from. “Then…” She brushed past Yerenica and once she had seen that the fearsome woman was far, she collapsed to the ground, clutching her aching chest.
“Heuk…” she groaned, tears streaming down her face.
It hurts. It hurts! She panted out, trying to gain some air but it only made her more sick with the scent of roses coming in her mouth and it was almost like she could taste them.
[Hey, take better care of yourself. Get the doctor or something.]
Yerenica just nodded to quiet him. She remained there for who-knows long until Marianne went out to look for her and shouted when she saw her on the pathways of the palace gardens.
✿❀❁❀✿
Yerenica slammed the door behind her and collapsed on it, falling to the floor and ignoring the knocking of Marianne who pleaded for her to open the door. After more insistent knockings, Yerenica groaned and clutched her head. “Please, Marianne, I’m fine. I just want to be alone.”
“Princess…”
“Marianne, please.” Yerenica said, tears streaming down her cheeks as she bore the pain in her chest, her body still trembling from the events of the day. “I want to be alone.”
When she didn’t hear any more noise from the outside, she started coughing and coughing.
“Heuk…” why does it hurt so much? Is this related to the maladjustment? She sighed and rested the back of her head against the door. I feel so tired.
With the encounter of Lady Elard and with the words that the elegant lady has spouted, Yerenica had suspicions that her nightmares had something to do with the dark-magic using lady. She groaned and covered her face with her hands.
Great, Yerenica. Now what?
She didn’t know how long she mourned over her situation. It’s not like she couldn’t sleep. What help would that give to her declining health already. Yerenica only noticed it was night when she heard knocking again.
“Princess?” It was Marianne. “It’s time for dinner.”
“…” Yerenica lifted her face from her arms and sighed at the dark sky outside. “I’m fine. I’m not hungry.”
“But, Princess-“
“I just want to sleep.” Yerenica stood and was headed to the bed when she heard her handmaiden speak again.
“T-Then let me assist you in changing. Please?”
Yerenica turned to the door. She wants to check up on me. She sighed and gave her consent, choosing not to notice the relieved sigh coming from the maid as the older woman opened the doors and assisted her in changing into a night gown.
Once Marianne had left her all alone, standing in the middle of her dark bedroom, Yerenica stared at her bed.
I don’t want to sleep. She told herself but she could feel the drowsy feeling of slumber trying to overtake her. Please, I don’t want to fall asleep.
But her body moved still. And soon, Yerenica found herself underneath the blankets and her head on the soft pillows.
No, no, no. She tried and resisted but her eyes and closed.
She had lost another battle again. Why? Just why does she keep… losing…
Darkness
✿❀❁❀✿
Yerenica trembled under the gaze of her unloving relatives who chose to abandon her.
“I can’t have her.”
“What a burden.”
“She’ll be fine by her own.”
“She’s old enough anyway.”
Yerenica trembled under the voice of her mother, calling and beckoning for her to join her.
“Come, Eun-seo. It’s so relaxing here. There’s no trouble and no worries. Join me, baby.”
No, no, no, no, no. She cried and cried but no one reached out for her, no one was there for her.
Silve hair and red-violet eyes.
My one and only lifeline. She reached out for that hand, that hand which she wanted to hold for a long time.
Turned his back on her, rejecting her with a smile on his face.
“I don’t love you, Princess.”
Yerenica could feel her heart breaking apart. The pain was ringing in her ear. It was too much to bear.
Erudian kept walking, kept walking away from her. And every step the silver-haired man took was like a knife stabbing her to his and her demise. Yerenica ran to him, tears streaming down her face as she tried to reach for her lifeline, for him. Please, she cries, Please! Don't go! But he turned and kept walking away from her.
It was getting hard to breathe. Her tears continued to stream down her eyes. The agony she had to go for the love she had for this man.
Love? She queried. Is that what this is?
✿❀❁❀✿
“Cough!”
Splat. Splat. Splat.
She opened her eyes and screamed at the sight before her.
Pink hair, white skin, and white clothes. A dead body on her bed.
[A-Ah, what is this? What is this?!] she cried, crawling away from the body until she realized what it was.
It was her body. Her body without a soul. The soul…
Wh-What? She stared in fear in confusion on the figure on the bed. She then looked down at her hands and screamed. She was transparent. Her entire body was transparent.
[Hey! What are you doing?!]
Yerenica clutched her head in her hands. No, no, no. She cried, her transparent tears disappear once it left her cheeks, gone before it ever touches the carpeted floor of her bedroom. Heuk… What is this? I’m scared. Father! Marianne! Diego! Someone!
[Get back in there now! NOW!]
[What? What?] she looked up to the ceiling of her room. [What?] she looked at the gruesome figure on the bed. [Hnng… H-How do I do that then?!]
[Just touch it. Hurry before that body dies!]
Yerenica rose on trembling legs but she faltered and feel to the floor. She yelped in pain but was determined to go back to her body. She crawled to the edge of the bed and reached out, her transparent hands meeting the cold ones and immediately, darkness ensued.
Only for her to reawaken immediately with a gasp and several coughing. “Ahck…” she held her aching throat. Her chest felt tight and she had another episode of difficult breathing. “Thanks for the help.” She said to the god. Now she just needed to get out of here.
She stood from her bed in wobbly legs and reached for the door, staggering all the way with bouts of coughing. It’s a miracle no one has woken from the sounds.
[And where are you going?]
Anywhere is better than here! She dashed out of her room, suddenly having the energy after thinking of running away from here. From the pain.
Just get out! Just leave from here!
There were multiple times she stumbled, many times she collapsed on the floor. She also nearly tripped down the stairs if it weren’t for her hands that quickly grabbed unto the railing. And when she thought that outside the palace she would heave a sigh of relief, she saw darkness and it made her quiver in terror.
Yerenica screamed and ran, and ran, and ran. She tried to gather her surroundings but although the sun was near in the horizon, the sky turning from black to dark blue, she didn’t know where to go. She didn’t know who to turn to.
“Ah!” she tripped and fell to the pavement, her knees scraping and she hissed at the stinging sensation. “Urgh!”
More tears escaped from her eyes and she wanted to scream at how weak and pathetic she was. No matter how far she would run, she would never be able to escape the torment and pain she was feeling inside these walls. She was trapped here. Trapped in her five-hundred allocated zone.
Yerenica sat up and cradled her wounded knee which bore much of the damage. She hissed when she touched it and yelped in pain when she felt another stinging sensation in her feet. Yerenica groaned when she saw the reason.
Her soles were bleeding.
She had rushed out of the palace without some slippers and in her adrenaline rush, she didn’t feel any pain from them until she stopped.
What now? She shook in her lonesome feeling. What now? What do I do?
Her body trembled with pain from mana exposure outside of the palace. There was something in the gardens. Something awful and Yerenica felt like she wanted to scream more and more.
When will this suffering end?
Clang.
Yerenica halted from her spot in the middle of the pathway of Bellyugung and the gardens.
Clang. Clang.
What? W-What? She looked around her lighter surroundings. Dawn was finally breaking and orange-yellow light engulfed the Imperial Palace.
Sunrise.
Yerenica paused and realized something important.
Sunrise…. What happens at sunrise? What was it? What was it?
Training. Erudian would practice at the training grounds every sunrise without fail.
Erudian…
“Cough!” Yerenica covered her mouth. At the back of her throat, she could taste the familiar metallic flavour of blood and she held her neck. I need him. I need to go to him.
Yerenica whimpered when she stood, her blood staining the yellow-white stones of the garden pathways. Every step felt like she was walking on glass but she continued on, walking and walking until she could finally see the structures of the training grounds and in the middle of the empty field was a silver-haired man wearing a loose shirt with a sword in hand.
The sun could be seen now.
Sapphires meeting rubies.
I love him.
And the dam broke within her as she tried to reach for him, her lifeline, her saviour, her Erudian. Yerenica cried as she tried to continue walking to the man, her hands trying to get to him.
“Your…” she sobbed, “Majesty… Heu…”
“Princess!” a shout came from him and Yerenica’s heart lurched in pain because of it.
“Ahck!” a hand went to her heart and she coughed up.
“Princess, what…” hands held her arms and she looked up. Yerenica wanted to see that handsome face, that face she had longed to see for days but all she saw was silver-hair and ruby eyes.
Like the nightmare.
“No…” she sniffed and held unto him. “No…”
“Princess?”
She felt the cool and familiar sensation of divinity wrapping her body. Yerenica felt relief and comfort but it wasn’t enough still. She wanted more from this man.
“Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough!”
“Princess!”
She continued on coughing. The experience was nothing small from a torture as she could taste blood at the end of her throat. Erudian kept holding her, rubbing her bag and shouting but she could barely even hear him as she continued on and on, coughing and coughing.
“It’s the dream—cough-- The-- cough—dream—cough, cough. It’s the same—cough, cough, cough.”
“The dream?” his confused voice asked but she didn’t answer, realizing she could not just tell him outright that she came all the way here running, bloodied and all because of some dream. Or rather, a nightmare.
She reached up one bloodied hand; blood from touching her wounds. Yerenica could barely notice the flinch coming from the emperor upon the sticky sensation as she continued to look into those eyes.
Red-violet. What can you even compare these eyes to other than rubies?
“Bellyugung… Palace was strange.” She croaked out, her throat hurting and sore.
Erudian’s body hardened at her words and his eyes shone. Rubies mixing with fire from the sun.
“Princess, what are you saying?”
She couldn’t respond as she continued coughing, she lowered her head to avoid coughing directly on him but the emperor refused to relinquish his grip on her.
Please, let go for a moment. She coughed on her hand. It hurts even more when I’m with you.
Yerenica wanted to just close her eyes and pass out. The pain in her core was unbearable. She had thought it would disappear with her being in the presence of Erudian but nothing worked, nothing.
“Princess, wait a minute.”
“I—cough—can’t.” she sobbed. She clutched tighter on his arms. “Please, please--- cough—don’t leave—cough—take it away.”
“Show me your face, please. Just for one second. Just one second.” There was a plead in his voice, something she had never heard of before but she didn’t want to look up. Her head rested on his chest as she continued letting out more and more hacking.
She felt like choking, like she was suffocating, like she was---
“Yerenica.”
Her mind and heart stopped and she looked up at him with wide eyes. Yerenica could barely breathe even though her coughing had stopped with her name coming out of his lips.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
She felt something in her heart… something strange. Was this the love she felt? She wanted to cry at the odd sensation. Yerenica could almost feel the burden of her being slightly elevated. She could see herself in his eyes, those red-violet eyes that couldn’t compare with anything. In the sunlight, the silver strands of his hair was almost golden.
Despite the glorious sight before her, the tears still continued to cascade down her face. Yerenica felt his hands moving from her arms to her cheeks as he washed those tears away. There was another itchy sensation in her throat but it kept on stalling, as if it was allowing her to have a moment with this man.
Divinity rushed through her veins from his hands. In the sunlight, she could now see the tainted cheek of Erudian from her hands, tainted from the blood and she whimpered at the sight of it.
“Ah, what is this?” he grumbled before her and the view changed.
Erudian had carried her in his arms. A bridal position but Yerenica was too weak to wrap her arms around his neck to support him.
“Your Majesty…” she called out, worn out from everything and she could feel her conscience leaving her.
“Yes?”
Sapphire meeting rubies.
How those beautiful red eyes had cursed her to a circumstance filled with torment without realizing. Those red eyes that had stared at her blankly and even laughed at her when she had offered every single part of her being to him.
Should she feel sorrow or elation with how things are?
“Strange…”
The magic. The Palace. The feeling.
Everything is strange.
“Yereni---“
But she didn’t hear him finish calling her by her name. Once again she lost to her battle with the darkness conquering her.
✿❀❁❀✿
Sapphire meeting rubies. Blue against red.
This was the last thing she saw and now the first. Those eyes which looked tired and powerless. Yerenica stared at those eyes which had her figure reflected. Those eyes that she sees every night. Those eyes she wanted to see for the rest of her life.
Those eyes of Erudian Lu Soledo Belgoat that she loved.
“You look… tired.” Her raspy voice was heard in the room and the emperor let out an audible sigh.
“I should be saying that to you, Princess.”
Princess. She thought. Not Yerenica.
“Do you want something to eat?”
“Eat?” she echoed, confused. Blinking her eyes, she took in her surroundings.
A spacious room with the colours of the Imperial Family, the colour which was the same hue as the eyes she had woken up to, eyes that continued to remain on her.
“Where-?”
“My bedroom, specifically my bed.” The emperor smiled at her in a rueful manner.
That smile… Yerenica thought weakly before she started coughing. She clutched her throat as she heard movements beside her. When the coughing subsided, a glass of water was being offered to her by Erudian and she stared at it.
“Your maid tells me you have had a lot of coughing lately. I summoned the doctor to check on you while you were sleeping. I hope you don’t mind.”
“… No, not at all.” She said softly as she took the glass from his hand and took a small sip. “What… What am I doing here?”
“You came running to me at dawn two days ago.” Erudian tells her with a soothing voice, hand reaching up to move away some loose strands in her face.
Two days? Yerenica tried to sit up. I’ve been out for two days?
Erudian’s eyes followed her every movement. “What are you doing?”
Yerenica sat on the bed, her legs hanging as she looked back on those red eyes. Those red eyes which made her feel like she could stare at them forever. “Going back?”
A brow was raised towards her direction. “Back where.”
“Where--…”
Where indeed? Yerenica bit her lower lip. It was clear to her last night… two days ago that there was some sort of spell in the Bellyugung Palace. The screams of the people she knew haunted her still.
And a back turning away from her as she begged for him to stay.
Yerenica started coughing on the edge of the bed. Erudian stood from his chair beside her bed and pushed her back down gently, raising the blankets to her shoulders. Yerenica cleared her throat once it was over and heaved a sigh.
“You can’t go back to Bellyugung Palace. Not anymore.” The emperor tells her firmly. “There will be no more thoughts of you going back there.”
So, I’m stuck here with you? She was uncomfortable with the pleased twinge in her chest.
“The palace isn’t safe for you anymore and I need to make sure the other grounds are safe. You can’t go out for now, Princess. Especially in this condition.”
So, this time, I really am like a prisoner. Yerenica sighed. Well, at least a prisoner in luxury.
Erudian must have seen the upset look on her face since he rushed to speak. “I know it’s stuffy but please, bear with it for now. I do not wish to see you in that state again.”
“…” Yerenica didn’t look up at him and instead just stared at her fingers as she continued to lay down on the emperor’s bed.
Belgoat’s owner let out a breath. “I will summon the doctor once more. He detected nothing wrong from you other than weakness and your mana maladjustment. Also, the lack of good sleep apparently.” Erudian stood and made his way to the door. He paused and sent her a smile which caused her throat to itch.
“I’ll be back later. Please stay here for now.”
With that, the door closed and Yerenica was left in the bedroom all alone.
Suddenly, there was a choking feeling in her and she sat back up. Yerenica hacks roughly, trying to remove the pain in her throat and chest. Her hands pounding and punching her chest area to help alleviate the coughing.
Finally, she feels something leave and for a moment, there was relief in her bones as something soft and wet falls from her lips. Yerenica gasps for some air, trying to clear more of the confusion in her mind and the pain from her lungs and throat.
After a few moments more of massaging her neck and throat, as well as the space between her breasts, Yerenica opens her eyes and looks down when she felt something moist on the sheets.
Petals and blood.
Pink and light, wrapped around themselves like some sort of wet napkin.
Yerenica felt her entire body tremble at the same time it went cold.
No… No way… N-no. Not like this. It can’t be. There… There wasn’t something like this in the book!
Yerenica covered her mouth as another wave of coughs pushed its way through her bloody lips. She was crying at the pain and she looked down at her bloodied hands to find petals and some small buds of pink roses.
“P-Princess! Oh, my gods…”
Yerenica looked up to see the Imperial Doctor and her handmaiden, Marianne. She looked down at her hands, her trembling hands and cleared her throat.
“Marianne,” her scratchy voice let out, “I think we should replace the Emperor’s bedsheets.”
“B-But Princess—“
“Also,” she raised her eyes to the two standing by at the closed door. “Not a word to the Emperor.”
✿❀❁❀✿
Hanahaki Disease.
A fictional disease when someone you love doesn’t love you back and flowers starts growing in your lungs, rendering you breathless and coughing up blood and petals. And eventually they will bloom in your lungs, and stop your breathing causing your death.
But apparently, the disease was real here in this world. And many has fallen to its deadly claws.
Yerenica wanted to cry.
Was I meant to die in the first place after all?
[It’s not rare, and you’re not the very first.]
“…” she stared at the new sheets covering her lower body. “… I love him.”
[… Yes, you do.]
“What… a strange wake-up call.” She laughed sardonically. “I realized my love for him would kill me.” she closed her eyes and rested her back on the mountains of pillows behind her. “It didn’t exist in my world, you know?”
It was just a work of fiction. But now I am living in the fiction.
[There is a way.] the godly voice came out. [Two ways actually.]
Yerenica continued to close her eyes and rest her back as she spoke, listening intently to the god. “What are my options?”
[There is… a mana ritual.] Yerenica huffed. [It will remove your love for this person.]
Yerenica shook her head. “Even if I go through it, there’s no guarantee I will make it out alive.” She sighed. “What’s the other one?”
[This time, perhaps with the help of my child or my priests.]
Blue eyes opened and she stared at the finely decorated ceiling above her. “Divinity then? I’m sure that’s better.”
[… You won’t ever remember him.]
Her entire body stiffened. “Say that again.”
[The Divinity Ritual in removing Hanahaki removes everything about that person. Absolute cleansing. You won’t remember the person you loved, you won’t even see him. You walk pass him but to your eyes and body, he isn’t there.]
A complete erasure. Yerenica twisted in the bed, sheets tangled now with her movement.
She had the assurance of the Imperial Doctor and Marianne that they wouldn’t breathe a word of it to Erudian. But the two kept persuading her to do so, Marianne even begged her again and again to do so.
“You need to tell him, Princess. You can’t hide this forever.”
“I know.” She whispered, snuggling closer to the pillows and closed her eyes at the scent of him. “I know.”
She coughed up blood on the satin white pillows, and the scent of him was gone replaced by metallic blood and roses.
Pink roses. Gratitude and love.
I know.
✿❀❁❀✿
Yerenica stared out her window, dishevelled and alone. Her blue eyes followed the silver-haired emperor dressed in black coat walking towards the Bellyugung Palace with Perrik and more guards behind him.
She exhales shakily, her cold hands fiddling with each other as she continued to eye him, never straying her gaze from the man she recognized that she loved. She wanted to cry some more but her eyes were drained and swollen. She has had enough nights sobbing, crying in pain, and now, throwing up her love and affection for the emperor of Belgoat who will never reciprocate her feelings.
A cough and she raises an icy hand to cover her mouth. A petal and few drops of blood.
“Mmm.” She pressed the bloody hand to her dress, the petal sticking with the help of the sticky substance.
It hurt deeply whenever she breathed after coughing. She would feel a flutter in the back of her throat and the red reminded him of not only blood, but eyes.
[What do you plan to do?] the god, the sad and cruel god asks her.
Tired eyes went back outside the window but he was gone.
Like a dream.
“Nothing.” She whispered. “Absolutely nothing.”
[Nothing means death.]
“…” she smiled. “I was meant to die anyway.”
Blue eyes stared at the blue sky. Blues filled with white.
✿❀❁❀✿
She never saw Erudian after that. Not that he didn’t try to visit. She didn’t want to see him.
Yerenica asked for Marianne and the doctor to tell Erudian that she was exhausted and she was, she truly was. She could feel him spreading his divinity, making it reach her room. And everytime she did feel it, she would feel her heart blossom, and her lung would blossom as well.
She would cough up more during his attempts to give her his divinity. It helped with her mana maladjustment, but it worsened her Hanahaki.
She’s been inside the room for three days now, too weak to even stand. Marianne begged and begged but she would refuse. Why bother? What’s he going to do? Force himself to love me? Will he even do that for me?
Yerenica twisted in her sheets and coughed at the already stained pillow. Marianne changed the sheets hourly or daily depending on the coverage of the blood. Yerenica wondered what she did with the bloodied sheets. If someone had seen them, they would have raised some concerns and Erudian would have went to her despite her not wanting to see him.
Did she burn them? Did she launder them herself? She smiled at the maid who smiled in concern in return, sitting by the chair in the fireplace and tried to make the room warmer for her cold mistress. Ah, Marianne, you deserve a better master than me.
She coughed. None this time.
Marianne’s eyes were trained on her hand as well and Yerenica shook her head. She knew that Marianne doesn’t get it but she was trying to understand. There was a burst of gratitude within her.
Gratitude… She wanted to show her gratitude.
“Marianne?”
“Princess?” the brunette stood, ready to do whatever is asked of her.
“Can you prepare some stationary for me?”
“Princess?” this time, a voice of confusion.
“I wish to write some letters.”
✿❀❁❀✿
The sun was setting when Marianne assisted her in putting away her unfinished letters. The Lebovnyan maid helped Yerenica in standing and walking her to the small table by the window where her small dinner was. Marianne had learnt by now that she can’t take big meals, not ever since she learnt about the illness, the other illness that is.
Her dinners for the past two nights, and this one as well, had been quiet. It had a weight there and an air filled with exhaustion and resignation hanging around the two women.
Yerenica stared at her food blankly, shoving and moving the contents of her plate. She wasn’t hungry and she can’t focus on anything but the image of the man holding her in the sunrise. It would have been romantic if it weren’t for the fact that he had no such feelings for her.
The image, the thought made her hands tremble and her throat close up, a rising feeling from her lungs came.
She coughed into her table napkin, and it felt like her lungs were on fire. Marianne rubbed her back soothingly.
“Please, have some water and eat, Your Highness.”
Yerenica did the first but not the latter. Her eyes drawn to the red spots on white in the napkin on her lap. Red spots on white. Red eyes and white hair. Yerenica closed her eyes and coughed into her hand instead, the familiar thick fluids forming a river of red from her hands to her arms and elbow, eventually dripping down to the napkin and she whimpered.
“I’m…” she felt a sob coming up and she sniffed. “I’m not hungry.”
Marianne waited for her to finish her pitiful party before letting her go back to bed with fresh night clothes. The brunette placed some hot coals from the fireplace into the bed warmer and put it underneath her covers by the edge of the bed. They were silent.
“Can…” Yerenica looked up at her maid who she didn’t realize was crying silently. Her next words were filled and blurred by her tears. “Can I sit with you, Princess?”
She doesn’t want me to be alone.
Yerenica, despite her swollen eyes, cried for her maid.
“Of course.”
[We’re here for you, Crumbs.] the god whispered to her as the maid sat on the bed and held her hands, both of them crying. Yerenica could feel some divinity in her back, comforting her. [We’re right here for you.]
✿❀❁❀✿
It was inevitable that Erudian would visit without warning and Yerenica did prepare for the day it came.
She thought and thought of him, forcing herself to cough and each time a fluttering feeling in her throat would come, she would force it down. It was difficult in the beginning, but now it worked and it was effective.
It has been a week now since she had woken in Erudian’s room and was transferred to her own right beside his. Yerenica, before sleeping, would often hear his heavy steps through the glass doors of her balcony and his.
Erudian often came late, during the hours nearing midnight. There was even a time she didn’t hear anything. Did he stay in his study for the night then?
“How are you, Princess?” he asked, staring at her with his red eyes.
Yerenica sipped on her tea before responding. “Fine, Your Majesty. Thank you for asking.”.
“…”
Silence engulfed in the room and what used to be an atmosphere of warmth was now replaced with nothing but ice. A sigh came from the emperor and she glanced at the man.
“I’m sorry I could not visit you earlier. I was busy and your maid has told me that you weren’t feeling well.”
“I was, but now I’m fine.”
Lies.
“Are you?”
“Pardon?”
“Are you really?” Erudian frowned, his hands reaching forward to place a hand on her cheek. “Why is that when I turn, you seem to be more paler than the last time.” His brows twitched. “And colder as well.”
A flutter. Yerenica cleared her throat. Not now. Please, not now.
Yerenica held his hand gently and took it off her face. “It’s just the lack of sun. I will be walking the gardens soon when I am stronger.”
And they stayed like that for a minute. Her blue eyes meeting his red ones, her hands holding his and Yerenica savoured every moment of it as she hoped, as she dreamt, as she longed for a life like that. Where he would come to her and just hold her in his arms, where he would be engulfed in his welcoming embrace.
“Can you call me by my name?” she blurted out.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She looked away when she saw the confused and startled look from him
Yerenica cleared her throat once more and let go of his hand. She could feel the flames in her chest threatening to come out. She had trained for his presence, not for his touch.
“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty.” She smiled at him. “Maybe I should go on that walk right now.”
“Alright.” The man stood and Yerenica was relieved before he offered his hand. “Shall we?”
Her blue eyes stared at his tanned and calloused hand from all his trainings. Those hands that were her salvation.
“Princess?”
“I-I--.”
A knock and their attention went to the closed door, and Yerenica thanked the heavens when she heard Marianne’s voice. “Your Highness? I beg your pardon but the doctor is here to check on you.”
“Come in.” Yerenica said in a rush, momentarily forgetting the offered hand as she stood by herself. Her eyes were trained on the opening doors, ignoring the looks the emperor was giving her.
The elderly doctor and the young maid halted in their movements upon seeing the Emperor of Belgoat with her. They rushed in bowing and offering their respects. All the while, their eyes would go to Yerenica, hope-filled and crushed when she subtly shook her head.
“… I see you will be unable to have a walk with the doctor here.”
“Yes.”
“Perhaps later?” the emperor asked, a small side smile for her and Yerenica could now feel the petals in her throat.
“Hmmm.” She smiled brightly and nodded. Erudian, satisfied, left the room with a bow of acknowledgement to the still bowing maid and doctor. When the door was closed and few seconds passed, Yerenica bowled over and coughed on the floor, letting out all the supressed petals.
“Ah! Ahck—“.
“Princess!” Marianne rushed to her side when she saw Yerenica having difficulty in letting them all out.
Yerenica cried and cried, coughing all the petals and blood out while Marianne tore her clothes to reach the ties of her corset and the doctor patting on her chest, trying to let the contained petals bursting to come out.
She looked down at the floor, her white lips dripping with blood and eyes still pouring waters…
Buds… Flower buds…
“P-Princess…” Marianne collapsed beside the princess sitting on the floor as the three looked on the chaotic mess of a blood and pink rose buds. No wonder it was difficult this time. The flowers were growing.
“Princess,” the doctor called out with a grim voice and pleading eyes, “You’re entering the fourth stage of Hanahaki.”
✿❀❁❀✿
Of course, she didn’t go out for a walk. She can barely even reach the chair across the room let alone walk around meters and meters underneath the sun.
The warmth must be nice though. Yerenica reached her hand out, her skin, lighter than usual yet not that sickly pale.
The sunlight from the window felt so nice, something that the bed warmer and the heat from the fireplace could not give. She let out a yearning sigh as she open and closes her hands.
Yeah, it is nice.
She drew her hand back and looked down at that pale hand. A hand which missed the comfort of another. Yerenica closed her eyes as well as that hand, this useless hand.
[He’s worried about you.]
Her heart lurched and she scowled in anger, grip on her skirts tightening. “Don’t.” she grit her teeth as her body started to shake. “Please, don’t.”
It has been three days since she has seen him last and in those three days, his divinity was ever constant and she couldn’t help but cough out flowers every time that he did so.
Yerenica was growing sick of her room, not being able to go out with her weak condition. The doctor has warned her of this critical stage. The fourth stage. Flower buds and petals. More of them now.
The first stage was her light coughing. The second one was the constant coughing. The third was the blood and petals. And now the fourth. And then… the last stage.
Full flowers.
Yerenica placed a hand on her chest and breathed in and out.
Right. Her eyes went to the letters in front of her. Best finish this then.
It doesn’t matter what happens to her. As far as she knows, she has done enough that Erudian will never marry Soleia Elard. The man now distrusted her with the witch’s stunt with the Bellyugung Palace.
Maybe… she tapped on the empty paper. Maybe…
✿❀❁❀✿
“… The Hallway?”
“The Doctor has asked me to accompany you in the activity, Princess!” Marianne beamed at her, looking at her with her brown eyes at the mirror as she fixed Yerenica’s hair. “It’ll be good for you as well, Your Highness.”
She’s trying. Yerenica smiled at the older maid.
Marianne has been doing her utmost best to comfort her. And helped her deal with other maids or servants who came inside to do their duties. It turned out that Marianne was laundering the sheets by herself and now that Yerenica knew, she noticed the light swelling of the maid’s eyes.
I’ve caused her so much trouble. Her blue eyes went to the closed doors. And all she asks for is a walk.
“Okay.” She whispered.
The brush combing her hair paused as the maid looked at her. “Okay?”
“Okay.” She smiled. “I’ll go on a walk with you. Even if it’s just the hallway.”
Marianne let out a relieved gasp and nodded, hands clasped in front of each other and light moisture in her eyes. “Y-Yes, Your Highness! I-It might be boring but I-I’ll do my best.”
Yerenica turned and placed a hand on her closed ones. “Marianne, you don’t need to force yourself, really. It’s just a walk in the hallway.”
Yerenica smiled once more and nodded.
[Some walk would be good, Crumbs.]
Yes. Yerenica stood with the help of Marriane again. Her sided and curled hair on her shoulder. Her eyes went to the clock. Erudian was busy around this time.
A quiet walk in the hallway would be nice.
It was anything but a quiet walk the moment Marianne opened the door with one hand, her left arm being held by Yerenica for supporting. Yerenica blinked at what awaited outside the doors which had kept her for nearly two weeks.
There was a train of handmaidens and two guards.
“What…”
“Ah,” Marianne said sheepishly and Yerenica glanced at her companion. “His Majesty has assigned some ladies-in-waiting for you, Princess. Since you mentioned about having only me inside the room, they have been waiting for you here outside.”
Erudian. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“And the guards?”
“Ah…”
“I see.” Yerenica sighed and offered the five ladies and two men an apologetic smile. “Forgive me. Your presence has only been made knowledgeable to me right now. I do hope you are not offended. I just… don’t like being in the company of many people.”
“Of course, Your Highness.” The five ladies and two guards bowed.
“Marianne and I will be walking around the hallways of the third floor, do you wish to join us?”
As if they have a choice. Yerenica huffed to herself. Erudian must have told them to follow me.
And so Yerenica led a parade of women and men around the hallways, drawing attention from passing noblemen and other civil servants and palace workers. She looked down, not wishing to meet any of their eyes and gripped Marianne’s arm tightly.
She could hear the whispers and it only made her want to turn back and hide once more.
“Princess.”
Yerenica halted and turned her head left upon hearing her title. And there he was.
The Emperor of Belgoat—no, Erudian.
Erudian. The man she loves.
Her entire body was light and heavy as she watched the man climb up the stairs with that smile, that damned smile on his face.
It wasn’t the smile that was the sun. No, this smile was the moon. Calm and quiet yet there, looking and giving you a light that was restrained and soft.
Flutter. Itch. Flames. Yerenica whimpered and she wanted to step back yet at the same time, wanted to run to him.
Movement at the corner of her eyes caught her attention. The servants were bowing and even Marianne, who was still being held by Yerenica, lowered her head. Yerenica snapped out of her small daze and lowered herself.
“Y-Your Majesty.” She said quietly, eyes on the leather boots that stopped before her.
Yerenica hears a light chuckle. “When have you started bowing to me? There’s no need for that, Princess.”
Hands, warm and gentle hands of divinity held her shoulders and Yerenica’s body was lifted, her grip on Marianne lessening as all her attention, all her being was focused entirely on the man in front of her who gave her a smile.
A smile only for her.
“You must be doing well to be able to walk out of your room.” He said and a hand came to push some strands on her hair, the back of it caressing her cheek. “You’re still pale but better.”
Red met blue. The red curved and the blue widened.
“It’s been a few days since I last saw your face.” He tilted his head, that damned yet divine smile ever present on his face when he spoke to her. “It’s good seeing you again, Princess.”
Here he was, right in front of her. And it was sudden. Too sudden. Especially the touch he placed on her skin. She thought she had prepared. Obviously, she wasn’t.
There was silence. And then there was a cough. It was small and she covered her mouth immediately and looked away. Her body shook and she could feel Marianne’s hand on her back, patting her while the emperor continued to hold her shoulder, the other one on her wrist.
“Princess?”
Yerenica was about to answer when her chest seizes and the all-too-familiar pain, the closure of her throat, the breathlessness—she felt it, a bud.
Yerenica pushed Erudian away suddenly, covering her mouth and dashing back to her room. There was a burst of energy within her and she used it to run away from him.
She saw Erudian stumble back before catching himself and all she heard then was her name being called and the sound of footsteps running after her. Yerenica’s throat constricted and the confused and worried calls from Erudian, Marianne, and others were too much for her.
She pushes into her room and sealed the doors behind her, coughing openly into the air and letting the blood and petals splatter into the floor and her dress, on the door and her hands as she locked the door and pressed her hands against him despite it being sealed from the outside.
“Yerenica!” she jumped at that and looked at the wooden doors separating her from him. From Erudian. “Yerenica, please open the door. What’s wrong? What happened?”
My name. She smiled, tears from the pain turning into joy at the mention of her name. He called me by my name.
It wasn’t… her true name, of course. But still. Her eyes faltered when she noticed the state of herself.
Yerenica looked at her bloodied clothes and winced. But her world, time, and just everything stopped when she saw what was on her feet.
Buds and petals. More than ever. Flowers.
Flowers of her love.
Yerenica cried and sobbed and it might have spurned Erudian to banging on the door and shouting her name. Marianne beside him.
“Princess, Yerenica, please, open the doors.” Erudian said with such a pleading voice that Yerenica’s heart constricted and she felt like choking.
“Urk—“ she held her throat and struggled to breathe, her knees collapsing to the floor and she bent over. “Uwook—“
[Crumbs! Crumbs, hey!]
“PrincesS? PRINCESS?” Marianne screamed at the sound as Yerenica pounded and pounded on her chest, opened her mouth to insert her fingers and try to clear the passage. “Princess, please open the door! Oh, someone! Someone get the keys!”
“Yerenica.”
Divinity flowed through the doors and embraced her.
“Yerenica, please.”
She continued to push her fingers in, and finally a bud came free. Yerenica gasped out in relief and stared at the bud in her hand. She looked at the other buds on the floor. The one she was holding was bigger and it looked… it looked like it was blossoming.
I don’t have much—
“Yerenica.”
Tightened hands gripped on the bloodied pink rose bud. Shuddering breaths and sniffing was the only sound in the room. The banging stopped and it was quiet.
“I thought you wanted me to call you by your name?”
“…” Yerenica could feel her drooping eyes going to the door once more. She stared at it with tired eyes.
“Yerenica?”
[Come on, answer him.]
The divinity swooped her hair and passed her back and hair. It was as if they were hands trying to comfort and ease her and she closed her eyes, spluttering out blood and petals. She stared dispassionately at the sight of her now bloodied front.
“… Please leave me alone.” She sobbed and pressed her red hands to her face and cried. “Please.”
“Yereni-“
“I want to be alone. Please?” she croaked at the end and it must have worked since Yerenica heard a sigh.
“Very well. But I will remain in my room and the doctor will come. Understand?”
Her lips twitched upwards. “Yes.”
Once the chaos abated, she opened the door lightly, her eyes the only thing that could be seen outside. Marianne was there with a tearful look and she gasped in relief when she saw her.
“Prince--“
“Shh!” she raised a bloody hand and Marianne’s eyes widened at the sight.
Her maid’s eyes went cautiously to the door beside hers and Yerenica briefly wondered if Erudian was there with the door opened, waiting for him but nothing happened and her loyal maid rushed to her room, locking it behind them.
Marianne let out a horrified sound at the sight that welcomed her inside the room. “Raulus, Princess—“
“Yes, I know.” Yerenica smiled at her maid. “Please help me in changing and afterwards, can you summon the doctor and Deigo for me?”
✿❀❁❀✿
“You… wish to go to the Temple, Princess?” an incredulous Diego asks her.
Yerenica hummed as she tied the letters in a bundle with ribbons. She stroked the paper texture as she looked outside her window. The sun was shining on her face this time and she closed her eyes whilst replying to a man who she considered one of her friends.
“Yes, I hope to ask the Emperor permission soon.”
“I-I’m sure His Majesty would be very accommodating but uh, Princess, are you sure? The Temple will do its best to offer you the comforts you have received in the palace but I-I cannot promise you—“
“No, it’s fine.” She smiled at the priest of Raulus. “I’m… not there for a vacation or something like that.”
“Oh.” The priest blinked his aureate eyes at her. “Why then?”
To get away.
Yerenica held her throat and looked down. “I…” she tightened her hold on her neck. Not enough to choke herself, but enough to feel some pain, to steady herself. “I need to.”
“… I see.” The priest said. “I’ll do my best to speak with His Majesty then.”
Yerenica sent a reassuring smile to her friend.
“Thank you, Diego.”
And I hope you can forgive me.
There would be no question, if she goes to temple, on who will find her when the time comes. Yerenica can only hope that the man would forgive her for placing such a burden on his shoulders when he has been nothing but kind to her.
But Yerenica had underestimated the timing.
Marianne found her an hour later, vomiting and coughing out blood, pink petals, and bigger flower buds.
✿❀❁❀✿
Sleep didn’t come to Yerenica despite her exhaustion from the day of doing nothing but let out more flowers and blood. Raulus was with her, speaking to her even if she didn’t bother to talk back. She didn’t just have the energy in her bones. And her throat hurt as if she had swallowed fire.
Yerenica coughed and wheezed, nothing was coming out.
Soon.
Yerenica huffed out a sad laughter, tears streaming down her already swollen eyes.
Looks like I’ll be sparing Diego the horror then.
Her eyes went out to the window as she sat on the bed, back supported by dozens of pillows placed by Marianne for her comfort. She leaned back to the headboard to continue at the warm light entering the room, hoping she would be able to touch it.
She could feel divinity coming in and seeping into her room and she closed her eyes.
Would it be terrible of me to wish he was here with me?
“Where is he?” she asked quietly, her right hand holding her left, the hand which he held during their day in the square. She coughed out some small drops of blood and a single petal.
[… In his study with Schumart.]
“I see.”
He might come and confront me later. She raised the blankets to her neck, wrapping herself in it. I wonder what he will say?
She hissed suddenly at the rawness of the divinity, until it immediately went to soothe her. Did something happen? Yerenica thought and burrowed in her sheets. Diego must have told him then.
[… Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to tell him?]
Yerenica played with some strands of her hair as she lowered herself to the mattress. “What’s the point? Even if he forces himself to say that he loves me, it’s not real.” Her eyes went to the bright sky outside, mocking her.
“I was never meant to play this part anyway.”
In that moment, she thought of her… family. Her small father who cared despite of his greed, his soft-spoken mother who gave the best hugs in the world, her angelic sister who stood by her side all the time and worried for her. Marianne who always supported her in the end, Diego who always kept her company in the days of loneliness. And lastly, she thought of him
Erudian.
She recalled a line she read from the book back in her world. How could she have forgotten that?
When I called your name, you came to me like a flower.
Erudian.
The tears came more now as she thought of the man who, despite his innocence, caused this pain. Yerenica bit her lower lip as her body shook with the tears.
No, this isn’t his fault. She sobbed, covering her white and bloodied mouth as she could hear Raulus trying to calm and comfort her. This isn’t his fault, this is mine.
Pink roses. Gratitude and love.
She was thankful for everything that happened. Thankful for meeting him, thankful for his kindness, thankful for his sincerity, thankful for his care, thankful for his offer of safety, thankful for him. Thankful for the love she has. No matter what, she will never regret the love she had grown for the man. For Erudian.
For everything he has done, everything that made her fall for him, everything was beautiful.
Her blue eyes went to the crossed-wolf symbol at the top of her fireplace and smiled. It wasn’t him but still, it was. It was his symbol, it was the Emperor of Belgoat, it was her Erudian.
[You… You can let go, Crumbs. I’ll take care of you. Go on. Say your goodbyes.]
She sat up on her bed once more, no support from pillows or from Marianne as she sat. Her blanket fell to her lap as she trembled on, continuing to look at the symbol of the person she loved, seeing the white-hair and red-eyed wolf as the white-hair and red-eyed man who held her hand and smiled at her.
Her lips quivered and wobbled behind her hands as she sobbed and cried at the emperor’s insignia. No, as she cried at Erudian who was looking at her.
“I love you.” She whispered. “I truly do.”
Yerenica cried and went back under the covers when there was no response from the man who continued to look at her at the edge of the bed. She knew it wasn’t him, she knew it was just a fragment of imagination created by her dying mind.
But still, as she closed her eyes, hands clutching the flowers in her bed as she whispered those four precious words.
The flowers of her love.
“I love you, Erudian.”