Chapter Text
The first time Zuko sees messy blue scrawl on his skin, he’s sitting cross legged on his bed with Ursa’s fingers in his hair, her legs tucked beneath her sideways on the bed as she twists his hair into intricate braids, humming softly to herself. They don’t get moments like this a lot, not at home anyway, and she seems almost lost in the moment.
“Mom?” Zuko asks softly, frowning at the unfamiliar writing on the inside of his palm, not in any language he recognises at all.
“Yes, little flame?” She asks without even looking away from the back of his head, a ribbon in her hand as she slips it into place, tying it off with a bow.
“What’s this?” He holds his palm up, probably too close to her face, and he knows it’s bad when she freezes in place, eyes wide. She glances towards the closed bedroom door before grabbing his hand and holding it tightly.
“Oh, baby,” She sounds so mournful , is it a curse or something? Has he got some sort of strange disease? Zuko’s seconds away from a meltdown when Ursa closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and meets his eyes again. Determination shines in them this time, and she takes the ribbon back out of his hair, wrapping it carefully around his hand to hide the strange characters, retying the bow. It looks silly, but it doesn’t look suspicious. “Don’t tell Azula - Your father, either, do you understand? You can write back but - but make sure it’s somewhere hidden. Alright?”
Zuko frowns harder, strands of hair falling loose from his untied braid and framing his tiny face. “Someone’s writing on me?”
“Your soulmate. That’s...it’s your soulmate. They’re not fire nation though, that’s obvi-Oh, Agni, Zuko. ”
He feels the tickle on his thumb before he sees it, Kanji in a brilliant gold, almost reverently inked into the skin of his thumb. It’s tiny, but it’s there, and it isn’t blue. It’s definitely not red either, much to Ursa’s seemingly growing horror.
“Two,” Ursa says softly, almost to herself, “Two of them.” Then she smiles at him sadly, and takes his hand back, opening his fingers up to trace where the blue is hidden underneath red silk. “This one just says hello.” Her finger drifts to his thumb next, “This one is...its an Air Nation word for celebration. They all use it when they make first contact. Your father can never know about this, Zuko.” she says again.
He isn’t sure why exactly his father can’t know, but considering the sheer amount of things his father already hates about him, he knows to listen. He nods, determined, and then tells her with clenched fists and the hope that only a five year old can muster, “Teach me to read and write, Mother.”
Zuko’s first return messages are sloppy and his hand trembles because drawing (Writing?) in sneaky places is hard on his little wrists, but his soulmates don’t seem to mind, Blue must be older, because he’s very good at writing, and Gold is okay at writing but prefers to draw pictures. Zuko really likes the pictures, the sky bison, the lemur, pictures of mountains and sunrises. Zuko isn’t very good at drawing, but sometimes he’ll add a smiley face or a love heart. He thinks they should know he loves them already. Blue tells stories, though Zuko struggles to read them, using his stomach as a canvas.
Zuko learns that Blue has a sister, and he lives in the southern pole, and he’s good at fishing.
He learns that Gold is a prodigy. Gold doesn’t like to talk, but sometimes he’ll say he wants to run away. Zuko can understand that.
Years pass and his Father seems to hate him more with each passing year, and one day Zuko feels so alone, so desperate, that he does something his mother has always urged him not to do.
I think one day my father will kill me
It barely takes seconds for Gold to reply, several exclamation points and then, Kill you?
No he won’t. Dad’s don’t do that.
Zuko stares at Blue’s words for long enough that they blur, tears in his eyes as he scrubs at his own message until all that’s left is a smudge of ink.
Red? That was a joke right? He won’t kill you?
Red?
Zuko puts his black turtleneck back on, the one that helps both with concealing his soulmates and the bruises. Of course they don’t believe him. Nobody would believe him, if he told him. Ozai is a good man, everyone says, Ozai is an important man.
Even Mother says it, but she doesn’t say it the way the others do. She doesn’t say it with awe, she says it with fear, hands shaking and eyes wet as she tucks him into bed. As she makes false promises of one day getting him somewhere safe, somewhere they could be together just the three of them. He isn’t sure how he feels about Azula coming with them, but since it’s not real, he supposes that’s okay.
That’s the day he decides to stop hoping that one day they’ll come for him. That they’ll find him and the three of them will run away and be best friends and live in a tiny little hut in the earth kingdom. It was a stupid dream. They’re the same as everyone else. He may as well go up to Mai and Ty Lee and ask them to take him away, for as much good as it’ll do.
As the days pass he ignores the increasingly concerned questions and their conversations with each other, because they don’t matter. Zuko was always meant to be alone, even if Agni thinks otherwise.
He lives to see seventeen, despite all his father and sister’s best efforts and the disfiguring scar across his eye. Three days after his birthday he stands in a tailored suit and tie at his father’s side as the man tries to sell himself to the public as their new saviour. Presents himself as the ideal candidate for Minister. He keeps his eyes glued to the marble floor the whole time, because it doesn’t matter how he acts today, his father will find something to be angry about later anyway. He follows to the farce of a luncheon afterwards and finds the seat furthest from everyone else to sit in, ignoring his father’s glare.
And then a hand lands on his shoulder and he looks up on reflex and all the air leaves his lungs at once as he takes in Lu Ten’s easy smile, pulling him in for a hug, Uncle Iroh settling into the chair beside him with an easy, relaxed hum.
“Uncle?” Zuko gapes at the man who’s been absent for ten years now, and then at his cousin, who’s settling into the seat on the other side of Zuko cheerfully, the twenty five year old already digging into the ridiculously fancy edible centrepiece.
“It hasn’t been so long that you forgot my name, has it, Zuko?” Lu Ten teases through a mouthful of candied cherries, and Uncle snorts his tea. It should be disgusting, Zuko should be trying to find more polite company, but...
He doesn’t want to.
“Sorry, Lu Ten.” Zuko says instead, and watches as his older cousin beams brilliantly. “What are you doing here?”
Uncle frowns at that and glances towards the centre table, where Ozai, Ursa and Azula sit with the elite, pretending there’s nothing strange about Zuko’s absence. It makes sense, considering how many people had questions about Zuko’s scar at the press conference earlier.
“Young Zuko,” Uncle begins slowly, tentatively, as he puts his tea down. That’s how Zuko knows he’s serious, because it’s rare to see Uncle without a cup of tea in his hands at all times. Lu Ten is too quiet as well, now just pressing fingers into his next cherry, getting them all red and sticky. “How would you feel about coming to stay with us for a while?”
Zuko blinks. It’s confusing, until it’s not. He swallows and looks back at his father, still ignoring his presence, and then back at his uncle and cousin. “He’s embarrassed of me. I’m shameful to him.”
“Zuko, that’s not - people are asking questions,” Lu Ten sighs, “He’s releasing a statement tomorrow that you’re a...” his cousin grits his teeth and scowls, “A troubled child. That you burned yourself on purpose. Stuff like that. He agreed to let us have custody because it’ll make him look better, but you know it’s not your fault, don’t you?”
Zuko chews on his lip and doesn’t cry. If they wanted to protect him, why didn’t they come when he was thirteen? Where were they when Azula held him In place while Ozai poured freshly boiled water over his face? Where were they then?
No. They’re not here for him. They want to protect Ozai’s honour. But is that really so bad? Zuko asks himself, inner voice almost pleading, isn’t that better than being at home?
Isn’t anything better than home?
He feels his forearm tingling, a telltale sign that his soulmates are talking too, and it’s like that’s it.
“I’ll go with you.” He tries to sound as cold and unaffected as possible, a contrast to the warm welcome he’d initially given them, because Zuko is no fool. No, he understands. He’ll be quiet and manageable and invisible. He’s had enough practice.
Uncle’s frown is troubled, and he shares a glance Zuko can’t decipher with his son, before reaching for Zuko’s hand on the table. “Change can be scary, Zuko. It can also be beautiful.”
He has no clue what to make of that, so he just nods along as if he understands.
Lu Ten smiles at him, soft and kind, the same way Mother does when they’re alone and she’s not caught up in her thoughts, as she is more often than not these days.
“You’ll be happy with us, Zu. We even have a dog. His name is Druk, he’s really cute. You like dogs?”
“They’re okay.” Zuko mumbles. “When are we leaving?”
Uncle winces. “Your mother packed your things this morning, they’re in the car. We’ll start the drive back home tonight.”
“It’s a six hour drive so I hope you like old people music.” Lu Ten adds, obviously attempting to lighten the mood, but the fact that mother knew this would happen and didn’t even tell him, not even to say goodbye- well, that’s painful. It hurts more than the scalding water had. His eyes meet hers across the rented auditorium and it stings at the back of his eyes when her lips thin in that way they do when she’s forcing herself not to cry. Well, maybe she had no choice, then, he hopes.
Uncle tries to talk to him in the car but Zuko stays quiet, gives one word answers, until Lu Ten sighs and switches to the radio, where a voice exuberantly begins chattering away to fill the silence between tracks.
He isn’t trying to pay attention, but something about that voice, something about - Zuko finds himself sitting up a bit, listening to the boy - because he doesn’t sound old but all the music is, he sounds young. Like, teenager young. His voice is like sunlight, and Zuko immediately wants to yeet himself out the car window for even having a thought like that, but he listens, even as the boy - Aang, he reminds his listeners as a song comes to a close, happily recounts a story about his flying bison - which Zuko is almost certain is an illegal pet, but okay.
“And then Appa just knocked straight through them! But it was okay because the lady had extra socks, isn’t that neat? Anyway, here’s Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant guys!”
The song’s intro begins, and it’s not that Zuko dislikes the song, but he wants to hear Aang talk again for some irrational reason, and Lu Ten notices his face drop and chuckles.
“Told you it’s all old music.”
“This song isn’t that old, son.” Uncle pouts as they turn into the driveway. It’s not at all what Zuko expected, the house isn’t elegant, he can’t see red and gold anywhere from the outside and he’s fairly sure the inside must be similar. Greens and browns, however, are abundant. How long have they been driving? Long enough to pass into Earth Kingdom territory? How had Zuko not noticed that?
“Where are we?” Zuko asks cautiously as he closes his car door behind him, staring up at the humble townhouse with a burning warmth in his chest. This is exactly the kind of place he’d dreamed of living with his soulmates one day. Something about that hits different.
“Ba Sing Se. Uncle owns a tea shop around the corner - you’ll be working weekends there by the way, unless you wanna find a different job, I work Monday through Friday with a couple others. You’ll like Jin, she’s super nice. This is home, now.” His voice softens for the last sentence, as his hand settles gently on Zuko’s shoulder. “We really hope you’ll like it here.”
Uncle waits for Lu Ten to give him another reassuring smile and head inside with a box of Zuko’s things to come to stand before him, still stunned outside.
“Ursa told me you may be soul touched.” He says quietly, eyes searching as he watches Zuko carefully. The teenager can’t help but flinch at the mention. No one can know his mind says, but then his mind doubles back with but mother told him for a reason, didn’t she?
“I...They’re not fire nation.”
Uncle’s smile turns warm and happy, “Makes for a far more interesting match then! Water? Perhaps they could teach me a thing or two about their native teas, there’s one that’s been giving me a bit of trouble-“
“And air. There’s two.” Zuko waits for a hand to hit or a voice to raise and squeezes his eyes shut in anticipation, freezing in place when Uncle’s hand wraps around his wrist so, so gently, like he’s something fragile. Something important.
“There are air nation teas too, nephew.”
Zuko stares at him. “Is tea all you think about?” Oh Agni, why did he say that? How insulting!
Uncle startles and then laughs, loud and boisterous, “Close, Zuko. Although I think a great deal about Lu Ten and yourself, as well. Come, see your new room.”
Just like Lu Ten had warned, a red dog slams into his knees, making them wobble like Jelly as he struggles to keep hold of his suitcase, and Lu Ten attempts to command the dog to stop to no avail - he’s obviously not been very successful at training it.
Zuko tentatively drops to his knees to pet the dog. It has soft fur, and bright eyes, and a wagging tail and maybe this is the best thing that’s ever happened to him, because the dog buries itself in his arms happily, licking his face eagerly, and Zuko has never felt calmer.
“Druk! I...ah, jeez, Zu, I’m sor- are you crying?”
“No.” Zuko denies, as he does in fact, start to cry.
“Leave him.” Uncle whispers, quiet enough he must think Zuko can’t hear, but that’s fine, because Zuko happily spends the next fifteen minutes on the floor with Druk, just petting him, until the dog falls asleep on him and Zuko realises the only one still in the room is Lu Ten, pretending to read a magazine (it’s upside down) and sitting on the sofa.
“I’m sorry, I know I was supposed to go to my new room,” Zuko murmurs, cheeks reddening but heart still steady in his chest. Lu Ten looks up, expression amused.
“You looked like you could use some time with Druk first. He can come with you, if you wanted to have a look now?”
Druk does in fact join Zuko in his room, but not just that evening. It becomes his room as much as Zuko’s, which Uncle and Lu Ten seem to accept without question, just happy that Zuko is happy.
Zuko doesn’t know what to do with that, for a long time. So he starts at the new school, he works weekends at the tea shop - Lu Ten was right, because Zuko does like Jin, to the point she becomes his best friend. Months pass and it’s the new normal, and maybe his life is going to last longer than he’d ever thought.
Uncle takes him to the botanic gardens sometimes to bestow what is probably wisdom but sounds like gibberish to Zuko, Lu Ten takes him to the cinema and they eat popcorn and go out for pizza afterwards and he starts to actually look forward to his life.
So naturally, it becomes harder and harder to ignore the little itches, the tickles, the words he always forces himself not to look at.
He’s spent the day at the gardens again with Uncle, this time with Druk too - Zuko doesn’t know what kind of connections Uncle has, because there’s a sign out front that says no pets but no one stops Uncle when he does it.
He gets home and the tickle is starting and he just breaks. He takes a pen from the kitchen table, where Uncle had still had his things out from working on the Jasmine Dragon’s finances, and he runs up the stairs two at a time, half way out of his shirt before he can even open his bedroom door.
Have you seen my Momo plushie? I can’t find it anywhere :( :( :(
No
But you saw it last and I KNOW you’re angry at Momo!!!! Even though he didn’t do anything wrong!!!!!
Seriously, I have no idea what you’re talking about. And if I were you I definitely wouldn’t check the fireplace, just saying.
YOU BURNED HIM??
HES A STUFFED ANIMAL, AANG. HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS. maybe if you hadn’t put him in creepy places I wouldn’t have had to take action
YES HE DOES AND HE WAS FAMILY
Zuko can’t figure out why the name Aang sounds so familiar, but he’s having a deeper struggle than that - how does one initiate conversation with their soulmates after ignoring them for years? Especially considering it seems like these two have met already by now. Agni, this was a dumb idea.
His hand shakes as he presses the tip of the pen to his bicep, takes a deep breath, and drags the tip across his skin.
Hi
Hi? Hi?! What the fuck, oh, what kind of an -
RED!!!!!!!!
Nice to know you’re not dead, buddy.
Ah, yeah, sorry about...that.
It’s ok, are you ok tho? What happened?
Zuko pauses to consider things and then decides, fuck it, they’re his soulmates, he was prepared to live without them before this and he can do that if they reject him now too.
My Dad was hurting me. It’s not that important. I’m out now. Living with Uncle.
Fuck, man. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise what I was saying back then and I’ve felt like a dumbass ever since for ruining our chance to know you. Are you safe now?
Zuko’s chest hurts, and it takes him a moment to realise it’s because he’d always thought...he’d always thought Blue probably never thought about it again. Of course it had haunted Blue, it was the last thing they’d said to each other. He’d been causing Blue suffering this whole time.
Yeah, are you safe? Do you need help?
I think I am now. Uncle is nice. So is my cousin. I’m sorry for any pain I caused when I stopped responding.
Nah, just means you’ve gotta tell us all about you now! We’ve missed a fuck ton about each other.
Sokka! Language.
Oh gee sorry, forgot the fourteen year old was actually eighty for a second. Oh, how old are you, red?
I’m 17. My birthday was three months ago.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR THEN!
Aang draws what Zuko assumes are confetti canons on either side of his message, and Zuko finds himself making a noise he doesn’t think he ever has before - he giggles. It’s incredibly embarrassing and he’s glad that no one had been there to hear it.
I’m 17 too, back in April. Nice to have someone who isn’t a thousand years old to talk to.
I’m younger than you tho :( :( :( :( :( :(
You go from being an actual baby to an ancient being at the drop of a hat Aang. Lemme talk to mystery boy.
That’s when it hits Zuko, and with wide eyes he carefully writes out his next message,
Do you have a radio show in Ba Sing Se??
:0 yes!! Do you listen to it??! See Sokka I told you it wasn’t just old people!!!
Well...I mean, my uncle listens to it. But it seems cool? I just heard it the one time but it seemed good! Really good!
Aw, man.
LMAO HAHAHA
Sorry?
It’s okay. But since you know our names, what’s yours??
He hesitates for a moment, because maybe this is a bad idea, especially with his father running for office, but...
Zuko.
Oh neat, like that creepy politicians kid.
That’s a great name!
You’d say that if his name was canned tuna.
You named your fish sharkie.
OKAY MOVING ON. It’s nice to meet you again, Zuko.
Zuko smiles to himself as he writes back.
It’s nice to meet you again too.