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Based upon the context of the situation she found herself in, Azula may have messed up.
“Do you recognize this knife?” Mai asks, her face infuriatingly inexpressive as Azula feels the flat of the blade press against the bottom of her chin, forcing her head up so that she could control their eye contact - not that Azula would ever look away from an opponent, but Mai’s eyes are incredibly intense and it’s making her uncomfortable. It’s annoying how Mai is able to hold both of her wrists so securely pinned above her head with just the one hand, and her knee was pressing uncomfortably into her pelvis, which limited her ability to try and take control of the situation. She was loath to consider the idea that Mai was actually threatening her, the girl was so petty and fickle it was possible she was just throwing yet another of her monotonous, straight-faced tantrums. She would at least humor her so-called friend, however, and let her eyes observe what little of the knife she could see from her disadvantageous position.
“Polished black mahogany handle with a woven sharkskin grip, no hilt. If I’m not mistaken by the delightful contouring against my throat, it is a karambit blade.” She quirks her eyebrow as she lets her eyes dance down Mai’s pale wrist, following the deceptively powerful arm up to her shoulder and up her slender neck. “If it’s the knife I’m thinking of, it’s made of starmetal and stamped with the mark of Piandao. A custom order I had made for you. I even had him put a little heart on the handle as a symbol of our friendship.” Her eyes dart around Mai’s face as she spoke, and she feels rather-
Rather taken aback by how much emotion is there. Mai looks distressed . Desperate and angry, and something else Azula couldn’t recognize. Her teeth were clenched. Was Mai tearing up ?
Was she crying?
A sudden gasp escapes her as Mai’s knee dug further into her pelvis, the hard kneecap digging painfully into the inside of her right hip, the knife being pushed against her throat so that Azula could feel the pressure of the impossibly sharp edge split the skin. If Azula moved, she was dead. If she took too deep a breath, she was dead. If Mai truly did wish to kill her, she could do it as easily as she was holding her hands above her head.
“Exactly,” Mai whispered through grit teeth, “you gave me this knife Azula. You’re the only person who got me something I wanted.”
Azula was allowed to breathe again as the blade left her throat, careful not to jump as it was driven into the wood next to her head. From the corner of her eye she could see the little stylized heart carved into the pommel, and if she were another person, she would be concerned with how close that pommel was and how easily it sunk into the wood.
It was one of the few moments in Azula’s life where she was at a loss for words. She had no idea what game Mai was playing, and Azula was desperately trying to figure out the rules before suddenly she didn’t understand anything because Mai’s lips are against hers. Mai lets go of one wrist only to take her now free hand in the hand that had been holding the knife, lacing her fingers between hers.
Azula truly did not know what to do, and she hated it.
Not the kiss, no. That was merely surprising. It had caught her off guard. What she hated was that she had no idea what was going on. Her. Azula . Mai. None of this made any sense to her. She didn’t know how to react, she didn’t know what to do next. She couldn’t make a plan. All she could do was let Mai kiss her and try to understand why .
Mai pulled away, and she was crying now. “My family gave me the things they wanted me to have. Ty Lee would get me her stupid trinkets and weird herbal remedies and candles, things that she liked. Zuko got me stuff that he thought girls would like because he doesn’t understand people. You, however?” Azula felt her hands fall to the side, and she didn’t know what to do with them. Mai stepped back, and Azula realized she didn’t know when Mai had stopped pinning her to the wall. “You saw the things I did, the things I let myself have fun with. You saw me.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Azula finally managed to ask, her question painfully genuine. She watched as Mei balled her fists at her sides repeatedly, hard enough to where Azula could hear a joint pop. Her breathing was heavy and rapid as she shook her head from side to side.
With a roar, Mai drags her hands down her face. “You’re so stupid.”
Then Mai was gone, storming out of the room, leaving Azula more dumbfounded than when she had a knife against her throat.
Azula sniffs, pouting. “I am not stupid.”
-_-_-_-_-
“You really goofed it, Azula.” Ty Lee was laying on Azula’s bed, head propped up on her hands and kicking her feet idly as she watched Azula pace from one side of her colossal bedroom to the other.
“I don’t understand her, Ty Lee, I-” Azula freezes, whipping her head around to look at Ty Lee, “what do you mean that I goofed it? I didn’t do anything!” After a moment of pondering, she looks away before adding, “I think.”
Ty Lee rocks back before throwing herself forward onto her hands, springing off the bed and onto her feet. She cartwheels twice before she comes to a rest in front of Azula. “That’s the second problem, really. The first problem was calling her ungrateful.”
Azula points at the thin line of dried blood, “She drew blood , Ty Lee. She is ungrateful. If my father were still in power, I-” She stops as she catches the cold look Ty Lee is giving her. “I wouldn’t have done anything, because she’s my friend. I am prone to lashing out and have issues controlling my anger impulses, because I was rewarded for my aggression and punished for any sign of weak- compassion .” She rubs at her face as she repeats the words the entirely too-nice monk her so-called friends and her brother had brought in to recondition her. They called it, ‘therapy,’ but Azula would rather be tortured than submitted to the emotional torment of feeling guilty . She does her best not to recoil as Ty Lee smiles and pats her head, but she can’t control the sneer of contempt. “Don’t patronize me, Ty Lee. I’m trying .”
“We know you are Azula!” Ty Lee smiles and - to Azula - it’s like looking at the sun.
Azula is pretty sure the warm feeling in her chest is disgust, or at the very least she’s disgusted by it, whatever it was. How could someone’s smile be comforting ? Reprehensible. Horrible. It intensifies when Ty Lee suddenly stands on her toes to kiss Azula on the forehead, and she resists the urge to dramatically retch. “You both seem to be getting awfully comfortable kissing me without my permission.”
Ty Lee gasps and slaps her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide. “You didn’t say she kissed you , Azula! You said that she held a knife to your throat, and I thought it was just Mai trying to be subtle. She wasn’t being subtle at all, and you’ve goofed it so much harder than I could have possibly imagined.”
“I- what? ” Azula stutters, “I didn’t think it was important. And stop saying, ‘goofed it,’ you sound like a child.”
“I’ll stop saying that you goofed it when you stop goofing it. Now,” Ty Lee reaches up to grab Azula’s face, turning her head up and around as if she were inspecting it, “where did she kiss you?”
“Honestly, it is concerning how entirely too comfortable you two are with putting your hands on me,” it was worse how much she tolerated it, she thinks, “and, for your information, she kissed me on the lips.”
Ty Lee gasps, dropping Azula’s head and stepping back. “Oh no.”
“What?” Azula is concerned because Ty Lee looks like she’s about to panic.
“Azula, we have to do damage control.” Ty Lee is pacing now.
“Why?” Azula’s concern only grows as she watches Ty Lee smack her head and mutter something under her breath.
“Azula, she basically confessed , and you just goofed it so hard. ”
“Confessed? To what? Did she commit a crime besides assaulting royalty?”
“No, you idiot . She was trying to tell you she loved you .”
Azula’s face twists in puzzlement. Confusion. “ Why? ”
-_-_-_-_
“Mai, I am the Fire Lord, I don’t have time for this,” Zuko says as he stares up at the ceiling, his hand coming up to awkwardly pat Mai on the back. He sighs. “What’s wrong?”
“Stupidity runs in your family, and I hate you both.” Mai’s voice is muffled by Zuko’s robes, her face buried in his chest. She only feels minor guilt for slumping onto him and knocking him off his zabuton while he was trying to do his Fire Lord paperwork, whatever that entailed. She needs him more as an emotional pillow to yell into than he needs to sign whatever treaty or bill or whatever. She feels Zuko’s hand settle against the middle of her back and begin to rub small circles. Her head rises with his chest as he takes a deep breath in, and he let’s it all out in a sigh as his other arm wraps around her in a hug.
“Does this have to do with you dragging her into the garden storage and barring the door?”
Mai balls her fists in his stupid oversized robe. “No.”
“Of course, my mistake. It must have been another time today that somebody put a knife to my sister’s neck.”
With practiced aim, she twists his nipple violently, making him shout and dump her onto the floor.
-_-
Azula is sitting on her bed scrubbing her face with her hands in frustration. All of this emotional navigating is exhausting .
“So, you’re telling me that Mai is angry because I said that nobody appreciates my generosity?” She watches Ty Lee roll her eyes in exasperation for the umpteenth time. “It certainly seems like holding a knife to my throat is a strange way to prove me wrong.”
“No, Azula, that’s-” Ty Lee holds her fist against her pursed lips, and lets out a long, low hum that she seems to be struggling to keep from turning shrill.
Azula watches her face, trying to just understand what the whole problem is, and why Mai would be, as Ty Lee says, ‘in love,’ with her. That seems like such a foolish thing to do, admitting that you have an emotional vulnerability like that, especially for someone like herself. With her history of betrayal and manipulation, that’s just asking to be taken advantage of-
She feels a sudden pang of the horrible emotion she’s come to know as, “guilt.” Her history is precisely why she doesn’t understand how Mai could be, ‘ in love, ’ with her. She’s dangerous. A threat. It’s foolish to waste such vulnerable emotions on her, of all people.
A soft hand on her cheek drags her out of the pit her thoughts were digging, and her nose is assaulted by the cloying sweetness of Ty Lee’s perfume. Much like Ty Lee’s smile, there was something that was comforting about the smell, and perhaps if she talked to Zuko’s annoying therapy monk about it he would suggest it had something to do with positive emotions being associated with one few people who have remained in her life consistently, no matter how hard she tried to drive them away. She wants to hate the warmth she feels in her chest when Ty Lee gently kisses her forehead again, but she can’t. Which is annoying.
“You looked like you were thinking negative thoughts, Azula. I thought maybe positive platonic intimacy might help you figure things out.” She was smiling, and Azula feels that comforted feeling she so desperately wants to pretend she isn’t feeling.
“It might have.” She takes a breath as her eyes focus on Ty Lee’s. “Ty Lee, I love you.” Azula watches as Ty Lee freezes in place. Waiting. She’s trying to understand.
“In,” Ty Lee hesitates as she avoids eye contact, smiling despite the nervousness of her demeanor, “in what way, Azula?”
“I’m trying out how it feels in my mouth. You say it to Mai so often, and Zuko and Mai used to say it to each other when they were being gross together. I wanted to know how it felt.” She watches as Ty Lee’s shoulders slump in relief.
“Well, you know, there’s, like, different types of love- such as between a brother and sister!” She says, her eyes lighting up.
Azula can feel her lips involuntarily purse. “Yes. Of course. Like brother and sister.”
“Oh, please, you guys love each other somewhat, at least! The whole you trying to kill him is way behind you now.”
“Hm.”
“Okay, well, then there’s love between a mother and ch- oh no, Azula, I’m so sorry!”
Azula groaned and threw herself backwards, her arms splayed out as she sunk into her bed. “ Please , Ty Lee, I wouldn’t be talking to that stupid monk about it if it was something that bothered me.”
“Azula, you’re talking to mister monk because it’s something that bothers you.”
She can’t see Ty Lee’s face from her position on the bed, but she knows that it’s something pitiful. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever. Other types of love.”
“Oh! Well, then there’s love between a father and mother and wow, Azula, you just really don’t have any positive role models in your life when it comes to love, do you?”
“Ugh.”
“Okay, let me try and explain it better.”
-_-_-_-_
“She’s, like, the only person who’s ever paid attention to me,” Mai says as Zuko runs a comb through her hair. She reaches for the cup of tea one of the servants had poured for her before leaving them alone, the still-steaming kettle left on a tray off to the side.
“Hey, I paid attention to you.” Zuko’s voice is soft, but unoffended.
“Yeah, but you suck.”
Zuko’s scoff is much more offended. She makes a noise of regret as she feels him pull the comb away from her head.
“Also, we just didn’t click, Zuko.” She leans backwards gently, giving Zuko enough time to set the comb down. He puts an arm around her waist “I’d definitely save your life, but I wouldn’t follow you around the world to hunt down the Avatar, you know?”
“Wow, Mai, I hadn’t noticed.”
She snorts, sipping at her tea. “Maybe you should have gotten me a really cool knife.” She feels Zuko silently laugh beneath her head, which is making it very difficult to hold her tea steady.
“Is that what it takes to woo you, Mai? Really cool knives?”
“Maybe it is. She also rescued me from under my parent’s stupid overbearing thumb, so there’s that. I practically owe her a life debt for that.”
“Why does it sound like you’re trying to justify your love for Azula to me?”
Mai holds up her fingers as she starts listing off Azula’s numerous transgressions. “Because she tried to kill you? The avatar? The water tribe girl? Your uncle?” She takes a deep breath before lifting up the fifth finger, “ Me .”
“Mhm,” Zuko hums, prodding her on.
“She’s a recovering megalomaniac who struggles with basic human empathy?”
“She got that from Ozai.” The venom in Zuko’s voice as he mutters his father’s name under his breath isn’t subtle.
“And that’s the thing, isn’t it? She got that all from your father. She was his prize fighting dog. You were the mutt who got punished. She didn’t want to be punished like you were, and relished in the praise she got for simply being not you.”
His arms tighten around her chest and she rubs her hand along his arm when he buries his face into her hair. “Yeah,” he mumbles into her head.
“Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. Talking about father just, uh,” he sighs, pulling his head up to rest his chin on the top of her head, “it makes my scar itch.”
“You want me to let go of your hands?”
Zuko pfft’s.“Not, like an actual itch.”
“Ah. Brain itch.”
“Sure. A brain itch.”
Mai rubs her head into his chin affectionately before continuing, “That’s the worst part, though, right? You were both treated like garbage by your dad. You were kids . Azula’s morals were molded by Ozai to be everything you weren’t, and now that she’s, like, away from that? Has been away from that for so long? She’s doing so much better.”
“The worst part is that she’s doing better?”
She scoffs. “No, like, you know? The worst part was that she was who she was because of Ozai.”
“Ah.”
“And, maybe it is that she’s doing better. I don’t know.” She sinks against him, sliding down so that she lay across his lap. “It was so much easier repressing my feelings for her and projecting them onto you when she sucked as a person, you know? Like, I could date you and be around her without, like, feeling guilty for wanting to kiss someone who was so wantonly cruel to people because her dad taught her that everyone and everything was a pawn to be used and thrown away.” She groans in frustration as she punches the cushion they’re sitting on. “Now that she knows how she’s hurt people and feels some sort of guilt? Everything’s coming back up and it hurts because I thought I was over this. I’ve been so over this so many times.”
“Like the time she threw you and Ty Lee in prison for several months?” Zuko’s tone of fond reminiscence makes Mai chuckle.
“That was right after she tried to kill me, so I was definitely over her, then.”
They laugh softly, comfortably, sitting together in silence as their forgotten cups of tea sit cooling next to them.
Mai sighs, frowning. “Why couldn’t it have been Ty Lee?”
“Probably the same reason why it’s not me.”
“Naw, she’s too bubbly and energetic. You’re just a dork.”
“Hey.”
-_-_-_-_
Azula didn’t understand why Ty Lee was being so dramatic, groaning into a pillow and kicking her feet petulantly.
“Azula, you don’t need a dissertation, ” Ty Lee’s muffled yells come from the pillow, “if you think you like her back, just tell her!”
She stops her pacing to purse her lips and contemplates the dark stained mahogany of her floorboards, trying to formulate a response. Conceptually, she understands that it should indeed be that simple, but something inside her balks at the idea. She’s loathe to admit it, but she’s intimidated by the idea of telling Mai that she liked her. “What if I don’t, Ty Lee? What if it’s just some sort of hormonal reaction to having someone kiss me and be attracted to me?”
Ty Lee hugs the pillow to her chest and she isn’t yelling, but there’s a painfully exasperated tone to her voice. “What if it isn’t, though?”
“I don’t-” Azula doesn’t know to finish the sentence. She wants to say, ‘I don’t want to hurt her again, ’ but the thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. Was she wary of being hurt herself? Zuko’s monk suggested that she shut people out as a defense mechanism, something to do with feeling betrayed by Ursa as a child, along with a strong desire to please Ozai by having as few vulnerabilities as possible. What happened at Boiling Rock didn’t help, either.
She couldn’t really say that his observations were wrong.
Her thoughts were starting to go down an unpleasant path when she hears the intentional tapping of Ty Lee’s footsteps as she leaps off the bed, walking up to her out of the corner of her eye, bent down and head turned up to meet her eyes. “Azula?”
“Yes?”
“I think you’re one of the most incredible women I’ve ever met.”
Azula raises her head, quirking her eyebrow. “And?”
“You’re so beautiful it’s breathtaking, sometimes,” Ty Lee says as she stands upright, still maintaining eye contact. Her brow was set into something stubborn, and it was difficult for Azula to figure out what she was thinking. “Not, like, a pretty sunset over a valley or, like, falling sakura petals, but in the way a sword is beautiful. A bolt of lightning over a turbulent sea.”
Azula felt something tighten in her chest. “What?”
“I love you.”
Then Ty Lee’s kissing her on the mouth instead of her forehead this time, and Azula is taken aback enough to actually pull away from the kiss, holding Ty Lee at arm’s length.
“What? ” She splutters.
Ty Lee tilts her head, her face unreadable. “Did that feel right?”
“W-what? No, that was-” Azula is flabbergasted. “That was strange and unpleasant.”
“How so?”
“It felt,” she stops for a second to think of a comparison, her nose wrinkling at the thoughts that occur to her. “It was like receiving a kiss from Zuko, but not as wrong .”
Ty Lee's sudden smile is blinding as her eyes sparkle mischievously. “So me confessing my overwhelming love to you didn’t get you like Mai’s did, then?”
Azula stares, dumbfounded, at Ty Lee, and she feels the horrible burn of embarrassment begin to spread up her neck. She grabs Ty Lee by the shoulders and pushes her towards the door as Ty Lee complains theatrically.
“Azula! ” She whines, throwing an arm dramatically over her head, “You were stuck in your head and I was just trying to help!”
-
“It’s not a dissertation,” Azula mumbles to herself as she organizes the papers in her hands for the third time since leaving her room. She had missed supper with her brother, but when Ty Lee had shown up to her room with a plate and a cup of sake for her, she hadn’t been able to actually eat much of the food.
The sake went down just fine, however, and sat warmly in her gut. Or maybe that was the trepidation. Ty Lee had described some feelings about butterflies in stomachs, but that doesn’t make sense and Azula refuses to entertain it. She was merely anxious at expressing vulnerability to another human being.
Her heart pounds anxiously in her chest as she reaches a hand up to knock on Mai’s chamber doors.
-_-_-_-_-_
Mai is very confused when Azula walks in with a stack of papers, the serious look of concentration on her face contrasted by the light blush on her cheeks.
“Yes, Azula?”
Azula takes a deep breath, and looks down to the papers in her hand. “Mai, this morning you boldly cornered me in the garden storehouse and held a knife to my throat before kissing me. As you threatened me, you asked if I remembered the knife you held against my neck, the very knife that I gave you for your thirteenth birthday.” She closes her eyes and takes a nervous breath before continuing. “Ty Lee explained to me afterwards that this and the things that you had said to me were you coming forward to me with your feelings of affection, and that when I had jokingly implied that nobody was grateful for all the things that I had done or the progress I’d made as a person, I had slighted - if not outright offended - you.
“Ty Lee also says that I am terrible at making jokes, and that if I’m trying to be sarcastic that I should probably make that clear immediately after making a remark.”
Mai is no less confused. “Azula, is this an apology?”
Azula’s eyes flicker up to hers for a moment before she continues reading from her papers, the blush on her face growing darker. “Also, during my meeting with Ty Lee, she made me aware of what may perhaps be my own latent feelings for you. Intrigued, we confabbed briefly about the topics of attraction and romance, wherein Ty Lee mocked me thoroughly and saw fit to embarrass me with crass implications.”
Mai steeples her fingers against her mouth, eyes wide as her brain tunes Azula out for a moment and tries to piece together a coherent thought from her rambling torrent. When she focuses back in, she realizes that Azula was still talking.
“- think a union between our houses would still be advantageous, seeing as you are no longer betrothed to Fire Lord Zuko, and have been relegated to the position of royal advisor. As we are both women, it-”
“Agni’s tits, Azula, is this a love confession? ”
“W-what?” Azula stutters as she clutches the stack of papers to her chest. “No.” She looks away for a second, thinking. “Yes? I don’t like that phrasing. It makes me sound as if I’m guilty of something, and at least insofar as this goes, I have committed no crimes.” She takes a breath before she starts rambling again. “The monk also says that feelings aren’t terrible to have and that I shouldn’t feel guilty for having them.”
Mai is up and walking as Azula gets lost in her words again, justifying whatever stupid justifications Azula feels she needs to make this whole situation right. She wishes that she could just tell Azula that it was fine, that everything was fine and that she’d forgiven her for being stupid the second she’d left the garden shed and just needed to vent, but right now, just like this morning, actions would speak far more than just words.
“Azula,” Mai says as she asserts herself into Azula’s space, one hand pushing Azula’s papers out of the way, the other coming up under her chin and squeezing her cheeks. She makes a weak, ‘ooh!’ of surprise, and there is a rush of power she feels as she sees the wide-eyed vulnerability in Azula’s eyes.
“Yes?” her nervous voice cracking through puckered lips.
“Shut up. ”
She brings their mouths together, and they’re kissing. It’s awkward, but it feels so much better than the one-sided kiss in the garden shed because Azula is expecting it . Azula is there , and she even wants to kiss, nervously following Mai’s lead as she readjusts the grip on her chin so that she’s cupping it more carefully. Tenderly. She wraps her arm around Azula’s back and gently pulls her close, and Azula makes a little sound of surprise. When she pulls away, Azula, the most dangerous woman in the Fire Nation, still has her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth hanging partially open, and Mai can’t help but to chuckle at the sight.
“You good, Azula?” She can feel the smile on her face as Azula blinks her eyes open, watching as she became aware of how her mouth hung open awkwardly before biting her lip and blushing.
“I-” She takes a breath, trying to center herself, “I believe so, yes. I am good.”
“Do you want to, like, do stuff?” Mai can feel her heart in her throat as the words spill out of her mouth. She knows she should have worded that better.
Azula cocks her eyebrow in confusion. “Do stuff? ” she asks, drawing out the F. “Are we not doing stuff right now?”
Mai rolls her eyes. Of course Azula didn’t get it, she should have expected that. Azula worked in threatening doublespeak and mind games, not childish euphemisms. “Not yet, no,” she says as she gently grips Azula’s narrow hip, her other hand coming up to caress her face, tucking the fringe that framed it behind her ear.
A small gasp escapes Azula’s mouth as Mai steps into her again, pushing gently with her body so that she steps back to keep balance, and she can’t bring herself to look away from Mai’s eyes, soft with what was probably affection. She doesn’t realize she’s being guided backwards until she feels her back touch the wall and Mai’s hand slides to cup the back of her head, keeping it from bouncing off the hard wood panel. She wants to observe that this is a much more intimate recreation of what happened in the garden shed, but Mai is leaning into her again and she finds herself moving her head to meet her.
What Azula was not expecting, however, was the surprised gasp that escaped her, or the sensation of Mai’s thigh pushing hers apart and against her, an unfamiliar surge of something shooting through her.
Her brain tries to categorize it quickly, to understand what just happened, a feeling similar to when she bends lightning but so much more- but she isn’t allowed time to think, as Mai smirks into their kiss and rolls her hips into her, her thigh pushing the smooth silk of her pants into her again, the soft, slippery sensation overwhelming. She doesn’t understand why her body is leaning into it, her own hips cocking forward to better fit against Mai’s thigh, and she definitely doesn’t understand why it feels so good . It’s overwhelming, and her brain can’t get past the comparison to bending as she feels something build in her loins, like the feeling of the lightning building within her.
It wants to come out, and she can’t control it. She can’t control herself as she squeaks into Mai’s mouth, a small moan escaping her as Mei draws her thigh back and gently pushes her knee against her crotch and it’s so incredibly intense that she panics.
“Please stop, ” she whimpers, and for the first time in years she feels real tears in her eyes and she doesn’t know when she started crying. Mai steps back immediately, hands held out, her eyes wide with worry.
-
“Are you alright? What’s wrong?” Mai asks as she kneels, trying not to crowd Azula as she panics. She’s seen Zuko get like this, overwhelmed and wide-eyed and unable to process the world around him, but it’s hard to resist the urge to grab onto her hand and physically check to make sure she’s not hurt, or to provide some sort of solid reassurance. Then, as quickly as she’d cracked, Azula takes a deep breath, though, and Mai watches as the panic on her face melts into carefully composed neutrality.
“I was merely being overwhelmed by some unfamiliar physical sensations I was experiencing, and I would appreciate it if you could inform me more about them.”
“O-oh. Of course,” Mai says, her words halting. She’s still reeling from the sudden whiplash of Azula’s mood change, something that she feels she should be used to after so long. She just wasn’t expecting it here . In the bedroom . In a situation she had never expected to be in.
Now Azula was expecting her to explain, what? Sex?
“Azula, have you ever, uh,” Mai is sure that she should use technical terms, but it feels very clunky coming out of her mouth as she says, “masturbated?”
Azula scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Of course I have, Mai. I’m not a child.”
“And? ”
Azula sighs. “It was annoying and painful and I didn’t understand the appeal of it.”
She brings her hands up to her eyes, fighting the desire to push them into her skull to relieve the building headache through direct action. She settles on pushing her pointer fingers into the bridge of her nose as hard as she can. “So you’ve never had an orgasm?”
Azula quirks her eyebrow, and shrugs. “Some women can’t, Mai. I’ve done some reading on it and it’s not terribly uncommon-”
“I bet I could fix that.” She can feel her breath catch in her throat as she says it, watching Azula’s eyes widen.
“What?”
-
Azula feels naked .
She was, physically, but that wasn’t the problem. She’d been naked in front of other people many times in her life. She had servants that dressed and undressed her for formal occasions, or if she didn’t feel like bothering with her own clothes that morning. But here, laying on her bed with Mai crawling towards her, she felt vulnerable . Mai’s eyes are slowly moving along her body, and she feels like she’s being evaluated for a test she never prepared for.
It feels strange - and perhaps it’s the tense energy in the air or the knowledge that she and Mai are about to become physically intimate - to be aware of the way Mai’s breasts sway beneath her as she moves, or how her hips rock from side to side behind her; how her impressively defined arms bunch and coil with every movement towards her. Her long hair spilled like black silk over her shoulders, so different in texture from her own coarse hair that needed to be oiled to control. She’s seen Mai naked often enough, as well as Ty Lee. She was aware of their physicality. She always evaluated the physical capabilities of her allies and enemies so that she could make contingencies in case a fight broke out.
There was no contingency plan Azula could think of for sex.
“Azula, can I kiss you?” Mai’s stopped in front of her, and she has a look of concern on her face.
Azula scoffs. “Now you ask my permission?” She tries her best not to notice that Mai’s pubic hair is very neatly trimmed. She’d never understood the need to, but on Mai it was very aesthetically appealing.
“Third time’s the charm, or whatever,” Mai says as she leans down. She stops when Azula puts a finger to her lips.
“Earlier, you said you bet you could make me orgasm. What’s the bet?” Azula’s heart rate had picked up again, and she felt some sort of warmth pooling in her. Not hot or burning, like shame, but more pervasive and exciting. Anticipation, perhaps.
“I scratch your back, you scratch mine,” Mai says as she takes Azula’s hand into hers, kissing the tip of her finger without breaking eye contact. Azula has to avert her eyes as that anticipatory warmth grows, spreading to her chest as she feels tongue lick at her fingertip. Her heart jumps into her throat as Mai's lips wrap themselves around her finger, tongue laving at the pad and along her nail, sucking gently. She pulls her hand away in panic.
She hears Mai grunt in pain. “ Ow. We’ve gotta do something about your nails before you scratch anything other than my back, though.”
Azula looks and Mai is dabbing at her lip with a finger and looking at the bright red drop of blood that comes away with it. “Oh! I’m, well,” she bites her lip, “I’m sorry?”
Mai looks up in surprise, and suddenly Azula feels hot as Mai’s face melts into a soft smile of affection. Her pulse spikes as Mai’s pale hand comes down and caresses her face, and she tries to look away but Mai’s strong fingers grip her chin. Slowly, Mai leans down, and when their mouths are inches apart Mai whispers, “you know what, princess? Don’t worry about the bet.”
And they are kissing again.
Azula’s heart had fluttered when Mai called her, ‘princess,’ a term that was usually accompanied by sarcasm and an eyeroll. She squeezes her eyes shut as Mai’s lips capture hers, the anticipatory warmth in her chest floods southwards, in what Azula could only assume was, by Mai’s description, arousal. She feels Mai’s tongue dip between her lips and then suddenly into her mouth, and - despite the horrid texture and the terrible sound of them exhaling into each other’s mouths - there was something about it that her body seems to be reacting to pleasurably. When Mai stops and pulls away, she wants to chase her lips and continue kissing. It was rather fun.
“Stop thinking so much,” Mai says, only to be met by Azula’s offended scoff. “I’m going to make you feel good, okay? After that, you can decide if you want to return the favor.” Mai says as she leans back, reaching for a silk ribbon she’d left towards the edge of the bed.
Azula’s eyes are drawn from the trimmed hair at the vee of her groin upward, following her wide hips and along the line of her body. She isn’t sure what to do with her hands, but she feels the urge to explore Mai’s soft skin, an urge she resists by balling her hands up at her sides. When Mai arches back up with the ribbon in hand, Azula feels her breath hitch as she watches Mai’s abdominal muscles flex to lift her body. She’s very confused as to why all of these things are affecting her now, but maybe Mai was right and she was thinking too much.
It was much easier to not-think as she watched Mai’s hands lift up to pull her hair behind her as she tied it back with the ribbon, silken black strands trailing over her pale skin, her breasts shaking softly with the movement of her arms. She watches as they ripple when Mai laughs at something, and then her face is being guided to meet Mai’s lips again in a quick, soft kiss.
Mai’s eyes are affectionate as she smiles. “You’re too much like Zuko, you know that.”
Azula makes a noise , a squawk of outrage and disgust. “How dare you compare me to my brother,” she tries not to yell, but her voice is getting shrill. “In the bedroom , of all places.”
“Then stop looking at me like a startled sheep deer and touch me .”
“Oh.” Azula says as Mai takes her hands and guides them to her hips. Mai’s skin is just as soft as she knew it would be, but it’s hard not to marvel at when she brushes her thumbs inward towards her abdominal muscles, watching them tense. Steel wrapped in silk. She slides her hands up towards her breasts and watches Mai shudder, a fascinating blush blooming in her chest and spreading up towards her face.
It was at this point that she became aware that Mai was straddling her lap, and that there was a dampness growing against her skin.
So Mai was aroused as well. Interesting .
She brings her hands over the swell of her ribcage, her thumbs coming to rest beneath Mai’s breasts. She hesitates a moment, looking up to Mai’s flushed face for permission, before pushing her thumb up and into the soft tissue, rolling over the swell of the breast until it pops out beneath her thumb, the motion dragging her thick nipple against her the edge of her tapered nail. Mai makes a sound, a high, sharp, “hah!” and a sharp intake of breath.
“Oh! Is that alright?” she asks as she begins to pull her hand away, only to have her hand stopped by Mai and having her hand pushed back onto her breast.
“Squeeze it,” Mai commands, “gently. Be careful with your nails, but they’re not, uh,” she looks away from Azula’s curious gaze. “They’re not totally unwanted.”
“Okay,” she says as she gives a tentative squeeze while keeping her fingernails out. It’s not perfect, but the gentle grazing of her nails combined with her kneading seems to be generating a positive response from Mai.
Then Mai is dragging her other hand around and onto the swell of her buttocks. “You can use your stupid talons here, Azula. Just don’t cut me.” Then she moans as Azula takes her suggestion and digs her fingers into her ample butt.
Azula is absolutely fascinated by the response, as Mai grabs onto the wrist of the hand on her chest with one hand and digs into Azula’s shoulder with the other. She pants softly, switching her grip so that her hand is covering Azula’s and she’s helping Azula massage her breast. Azula renews her grip on Mai’s butt, grabbing underneath and towards the cleft and squeezing hard. Mai moans , and, to Azula’s pleasant surprise, grinds her crotch against her bony hip.
It was strange how the fluids that Mai was producing were so slick, and her eyes were drawn to how puffy and red her pubic region had become. She could feel Mai’s vulva part against her hip bone as she slipped and slid against it, where, from her angle, she could see the dusky folds splayed against her on the upswing, dressed in glossy black hair. Curious, she grabbed at Mai’s butt again and thrust into her grinding motions, trying to match the roll of their hips together. Mai stuttered, gasping, and Azula was torn between watching Mai’s abs flex, or how she was having difficulty trying to restart the rhythm with her hips again with her spasming thighs, when suddenly Mai was grabbing her neck and forcing their mouths together as Mai picked the rhythm back up with renewed fervor.
Azula’s hip was being flooded as Mai ground against her, Mai making desperate sounds into her mouth before taking Azula’s lower lip between her teeth and sucking aggressively. Azula felt her own stomach tighten as she realized that she was also quite wet, a thrill of arousal pulsing through her as the hand that wasn’t gripping the back of her neck digs into her side, pulling Azula into Mai’s final, staccato thrusts.
Then her lip is free and swollen and sore, and Mai is slumping against her, head buried into her neck and breathing deeply.
“Was,” Azula hesitates, her mouth feeling dry, “that was your orgasm?”
“Yeah,” Mai sighs into her neck, before pressing a kiss against her jugular vein. Azula shivers as Mai licks at the sweat of her neck, her tongue leaving a cooling trail behind it up to her jaw, where each kiss she lays along her chin sends electric, tingling currents through to her core, until their lips are locked together once again. Her kiss is slow and deep, accompanied by small moans of pleasure and her tongue toying with hers until Azula feels comfortable enough to try exploring with her own tongue.
She can feel Mai smile into the kiss as Azula’s tongue meekly enters her mouth before Mai closes her lips around it, gently sucking in a tender echo of what she’d done to her lip earlier. It sends a charge of lust down her body, crashing into her loins in a surge of moisture. Azula feels a rumble in her chest as she gasps, Mai trapping her tongue gently between her teeth and pulling before letting it go. She’s trying to keep her breaths calm and measured, but a squeak escapes her as her eyes focus and meet the unfiltered tenderness of Mai’s gaze. She can feel her face flush, and Mai’s smirk turns into affectionate laughter as she wraps her arms around Azula’s head and hugs her to her chest.
She wants to be bothered by how hot and sweaty they both were, but Mai’s breasts were soft against her face and she finds this to be very unobjectionable. Mai also smelled very good, despite being sweaty.
When Mai kisses the top of her head and rocks them both back and forth, Azula feels something inside her crumble as she tries to bury her face further into Mai’s chest. This was comfortable . This was nice . This was painfully intimate, and she was, at this moment, very okay with that.
She hears Mai groan through the rumble of her chest. “Okay. It’s time. Sorry for making you wait, I wasn’t expecting to just, uh,” Azula feels Mai tug at her hair to pull her away from her chest, “I didn’t mean to just get off like that. I was kind of expecting to do that later, to be honest.”
Mai is smiling at Azula and she feels that warmth filling her chest, an affection similar to how Ty Lee’s smile makes her feel, but more .
Azula wants to share that feeling, she thinks, and for right now the novelty of kissing hasn’t worn off and she’s feeling excited . Risky . She’s starting to understand the flow of things, at least between her and Mai, so she takes a chance.
She initiates the kiss this time.
Mai purrs happily into her mouth, and in her confidence she immediately begins to explore with her tongue. She tries to imitate the way Mai had suckled on her tongue, but as she tries to graze her tongue with her teeth, Mai hisses.
“Teeth!” Mai says without breaking the kiss, and Azula lets go, carefully running her hands along the silken skin of Mai’s hips, fingers catching in the incredibly soft folds of skin bunching up along her belly, slick with sweat. She could feel the light resistance as her claws dragged against Mai’s skin, careful not to dig too deep with them, but she’s absolutely fascinated by the feeling of the powerful muscles of Mai’s core twitch and spasm in response to their tickling friction.
Why did nobody tell her how fun physical intimacy was?
She lets a hand roam to Mai’s back, loving the way Mai’s muscles danced beneath her palm and the pads of her inquisitive fingers. She was building a map, memorizing every detail of Mai’s body and every sound she made. Her hands twined and wrapped themselves in the incredible texture of Mai’s hair. In a moment where she and Mai were catching their breath between kisses, she feels how the hair spills through her fingers as she brushes through it, like trying to hold water in her hand. She looks up to Mai’s beatific face as her hand slides up through her as she cups the back of her head, and as entranced as she is by Mai’s gentle smile she catches sight of the little scratches on Mai’s chest, leftover from her claws.
Azula has an idea as she remembers that Mai told her her nails were not, ‘totally unwanted.’
When they kiss again, her hand slides down from the back of Mai’s head and she tentatively puts her claws through Mai’s hair and against the base of her neck. She feels Mai shiver into the kiss, and then she moans as Azula gently drags her nails down her spine, pulling away from the kiss as she gasps.
Oh .
Azula had been paying attention before, but now has a goal; a target. Something to hone in on : make Mai make that sound again, and more.
Her other hand slides from Mai’s waist and across her lower back, her nails coming to rest at the opposite hip. She resets her hand at the base of Mai’s skull and begins dragging both hands simultaneously, letting her claws dig just a little harder than she had before. Mai jerks, pushing her body into Azula, a long series of gasps and moans escaping her throat as her fingers work their way along her back. She can feel Mai’s back tense as she arches, fingers dancing along the taut muscles.
While Mai is gasping, Azula leans into Mai’s chest as she keeps her eyes on Mai’s face. Slowly, she opens her mouth, bringing her teeth to rest on the top of her breast. She digs her fingers into Mai’s butt and bites lightly at the soft tissue, sucking gently. Mai sighs and arches into her mouth as she lets her tongue run over the soft flesh.
Then Mai makes an undignified squawk as Azula suddenly tackles her to the bed.
Azula’s hands get to work, leaving trails of irritated red scratches along Mai’s stomach and the outside of her thighs as Azula enthusiastically bites at Mai’s breast again, trying to fit as much of it into her mouth as she could and sucking hard. Mai’s thighs wrap around her waist as she squirms beneath her, and she can feel the wet heat of Mai’s crotch grind against her stomach.
This was exciting , making Mai make all of these sounds. Watching her move and react and her pale skin flush beneath her. Mai’s legs tighten around her waist and twist.
Suddenly, Azula is blinking up at the ceiling, and Mai is kneeling above her.
“Fuck off, Azula,” she pants, her hands pinning Azula’s arms out from her body. “I’m going to make you come, and you’re not going to distract me again.”
This was a very different kind of exciting for Azula.
“But I was having fun, Mai,” she says, smirking, “wasn’t this whole endeavor about me learning to enjoy physical intimacy?”
“You’re a brat.”
“And you are too much like Zuko, did you know that?”
Mai groans and rolls her eyes as she slides her hips down Azula’s body, a sensation that she rather likes. “Is that what you think is clever, Azula?” She kisses the nape of Azula’s neck. “Trying to turn my words on me? That barely made sense.”
Azula tries to pout before a gasp escapes her, the feeling of Mai’s teeth on her neck intense and sudden. She squirmed, not sure if she wanted to pull away or push into the bite, but as Mai began to suck on her neck, she felt her body eagerly arch into Mai’s mouth.
-
Mai hears Azula squeak into her ear as she tweaks her nipple, before lightly grazing the underside of her small breast with her blunt nails. She feels Azula’s skin break out in goosebumps as Azula sighs from the touch.
She pulls away from Azula’s neck to kiss her again as she gently squeezes Azula’s breasts, rubbing her thumbs along the sensitive undersides.
“I’m gonna do more, okay?” She whispers into Azula’s ear as she slides a hand down her stomach, feeling her taut stomach flex beneath her palm. She finds it difficult to look away from Azula’s mouth as she bites her lip and nods, and her fingers begin to tangle through the thick black hair of Azula’s pubes, pushing and massaging the soft flesh of her mound. “Okay so far?”
“Ah ,” Azula tries to say something, but gasps as Mai’s fingers push over her mound, fingers sliding through damp hair to either side to frame her slick nether lips. “Yes.”
“I’m gonna slide a finger in, all right?” She mumbles into Azula’s ear. “If it doesn’t feel good, tell me.”
Azula nods, and Mai’s middle finger slips into wet heat with ease.
“You good?” She asks as she gently rubs her thumb around Azula’s clit, Azula’s hip arching into the touch.
Azula’s eyes are unfocused as her hips spasm, her stomach flexing as she pushes herself up onto her elbows. Her voice quavers as she gasps out, “I believe so?” She squeaks as Mai slips a second finger in, her legs kicking weakly against the bed as Mai’s fingers and thumb try to move independently from each other.
She set a rhythm with her fingers of hook and release, pushing inside Azula as her thumb rubbed slick circles around her clit. She lifted gently with her hand as her fingers worked, and Azula’s hips rocked with the pull of her wrist. Panting, Azula’s head lolls into her shoulder, where Mai captures her lips in a slow kiss.
She presses their foreheads together, pulling Azula’s lower lip between her own. She tries to look into Azula’s eyes, but Azula is unfocused, her eyes locked to Mai’s hand as it works as her breaths start coming quicker and quicker. Then she hiccups and Mai can feel her hips start to jerk unsteadily. She chases Azula’s mouth for a brief second before Azula hiccups suddenly, a gasp sounding like her name trying to escape her mouth but cut off as she bit her lip.
Then Mai is kissing her and swallowing Azula’s cries as she comes, shaking, against Mai’s hand.
She follows Azula down as her arms give out beneath her, and when she pulls away, she can feel her heart swell within her as she looks over Azula’s blissful, unfocused face; her lips swollen from Mai’s abuse and fat tears beading up on her eyelashes as her breathing slows. Azula hiccups, softly - cutely , and one of the tears dislodges and rolls down her cheek, only to be caught and rubbed away by the caress of Mai’s thumb.
“You good, princess?” she asks, wiping her other hand off on the sheets before bringing it up to cup the other side of Azula’s face, and Azula sniffles as new tears begin to spill down her cheeks. Mai leans in, kissing the tears away as they fall, before gently pressing her lips to Azula’s.
She shifts her body so that she’s sitting more comfortably on the bed, and gently pulls Azula onto her lap. Azula turns her face in and buries it in Mai’s stomach, hiccuping into her soft skin. Mai chuckles as she takes her time running her fingers through Azula’s thick, shaggy hair, spilled out in waves across her thigh and onto the bed.
Mai took a moment to treasure how relaxed Azula was.
“I love you,” She whispers, her voice hoarse. “You know that, right?” She cradles Azula’s head against her stomach, fingers rubbing circles into the base of her skull. “I just want to get that out there in words.”
Azula mumbles something stubborn into her stomach, something about how dumb emotions are. Mai chuckles and pulls Azula away, sliding her off her lap and back onto the bed. Azula’s eyes are red and puffy from crying, but her brow is furrowed and stubborn as she frowns up at Mai. “I don’t like this whole, ‘feeling vulnerable ,’ thing that you’re making me feel, Mai.”
“I’m not making you feel anything, Azula.”
“My vagina begs to differ.”
She chokes on her retort, coughing out laughter instead.
“Don’t laugh at me.”
Mai leans down smiling and kisses Azula’s frown. “Use sexier words, then,” she whispers against Azula’s pursed lips.
“There are sexy words?”
“Debatable, but,” she says as she lifts herself to straddle Azula’s body again, “that’s not the point. Saying, ‘vagina,’ makes you sound like a doctor.”
“So what’s a so-called, ‘sexy word,’ for vagina, then?” Azula starts to flush as she feels Mai begin to kiss at her neck.
“I don’t know any that I like, most are pretty gross sounding.” She slips one knee between Azula’s thighs, nudging them apart so she can fit her other knee as well and spread Azula’s legs fully. She continues kissing her way down Azula’s chest, her hands gripping Azula’s narrow hips firmly. She sits up, and Azula squeaks as Mai lifts her hips to pull her into her lap. “I am going to eat you out, though.”
“Eat me out?” Azula flushes as her hips are tugged further up Mai’s body, careful to keep her legs spread so that she doesn't knee Mai in the face accidentally.
“Cunnilingus.” Mai says, laying a kiss against the coarse, damp hair in front of her.
They’re going to have a very busy night.