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Erwin doesn’t consider himself a prude. If he had to guess, he would place himself closer to the adventurous edge of moderate- he’d had relations with various men and women, often experimenting with things he considered fantastically taboo. A lover once sent him a letter containing the line “My body aches for you. I’ve tried to satisfy the hunger with thoughts of you but to no avail, as my hands are desperately incapable at imitating the sensation of your touch.” He’d become hard just reading it. It was outrageously suggestive, by far surpassing his expectations of what could actually be said rather than implied through touches and gasps alone.
His romantic overtures had sharply declined in frequency after he’d joined the Corps. He quickly discovered the unbridgeable disconnect between his life and the lives of those who never left the walls; and fellow cadets who were interested in deep, personal relationships were few and far between. What few casual relations he’d had were quickly understood to be over the moment he was promoted.
It wasn’t ideal, but he quickly accepted his new reality. There were much more important matters than his lack of sexual intimacy. When he had sexual thoughts, he simply pushed them aside until he could indulge them in the quiet of night. To waste time or energy pursuing something so trivial would be loathsome, but he saw no reason to completely repress them. They were just thoughts. Thoughts about Hanji Zoe’s pert little breasts, about the sharp line of his first boyfriend’s obliques, about the soft sighs Eren Jaeger might make if Erwin made love to him.
Most of his “thoughts” lately had focused on barely-legal Cadet Jaeger, whose lanky adolescent body had suddenly filled out into that a stunning young man’s. His muscles, which were always impressive, had bulked to such a degree that he’d needed to exchange his uniform. Those soft cheeks had sharpened, and his face took on a mature definition, commanding the attention of most of the Corps.
Of course, Eren was much younger than Erwin, much lower in rank, and in an exclusive relationship with Mikasa Ackerman, if second-hand gossip was to be believed. Erwin liked to think that there was something in Eren’s eyes when he lingered in the halls to speak to him, or the way he sometimes bit his lip while he looked Erwin’s way, but he knew this was nothing but fantasy. Erwin was completely at peace with the fact that nothing would come of his strange, occasional little crush on his cadet.
So, when Eren Jaeger knocks on Erwin’s door one night, Erwin’s first reaction is alarm.
Eren salutes. “Commander, sir. Are you busy?”
“Is something wrong, Cadet Jaeger?”
“No, sir. Can I come in? I’d like to speak in private.”
Erwin opens the door, trying to consider what might possibly bring Jaeger here. Eren clicks the lock behind him.
“Do you have a lover, sir?”
Erwin blinks. He could not have heard that right.
“Excuse me?”
“I asked if you had a lover,” he says, as blasé as if he’d asked the material of Erwin’s flooring.
Erwin knows what he wants this conversation to mean, but it’s impossible. A cadet propositioning his commanding officer? While it wasn’t illegal, the consequences could easily be extreme. There was no way Eren would risk such a thing.
“Why are you asking me that, Cadet Jaeger?” Erwin asks evenly.
“Well, I figure there’s no way you’ll be the one to ask me.”
“Ask you… if you have a lover?”
“No. I don’t. Do you, sir?” he asks, with a grin so lascivious that it leaves no room for interpretations.
Maybe Erwin is dreaming. He resists the urge to pinch himself.
“No.”
“I didn’t think so, not with the way you look at me.”
Erwin’s stomach drops. He sees no point in denying it, and tries to undo the damage.
“I’m very sorry. I had no intention to make you uncomf-“
“I’m not uncomfortable, sir, not at all,” Eren says, taking a step closer to him.
Erwin feels his heart start to pound in his chest.
“Oh,” he says, for lack of a single coherent thought in his head.
“Can I kiss you?” Eren asks.
Erwin notices the lack of a title and the vulnerable expression on Eren’s face. His cheeks flame.
“Yes.”
Eren smiles and closes the distance between them. All of Erwin’s wildest fantasies pale in comparison to the actual gentle swell of Eren’s lips against his, of his hand resting gently on his arm. There was no way to imagine the heat of Eren’s presence so close to his, or the gasp that would flutter in Erwin’s lungs at the scratch of stubble on Eren’s chin.
It ends all too soon, Eren pulling away with a hungry smile on his lips. If he noticed Erwin’s lack of skill- it’d been nearly a decade, and Erwin entertains no notion that he’s as adept he used to be- he doesn’t comment on it.
“I’ve wanted to do that for years,” Eren says.
Erwin is speechless.
“Will you be busy tomorrow night, sir?”
“Unlikely,” he whispers.
“Can I come here at the same time?”
“Yes,” he says.
God, he’s behaving ridiculously with these one-word answers, like a nervous teenager, why can’t he think of anything else to say?
Eren smiles. He leans forward and kisses Erwin again, cupping his cheek with his hand. Erwin manages to respond this time, to swell back and rest his palm against Eren’s waist. Eren bites softly at Erwin’s bottom lip, and the pleasure is so sharp and sexual that a soft moan is out of Erwin’s throat before he can think to hold it back.
“Good night, sir,” Eren says, pulling back slowly. His lips are just a little swollen.
He closes the door quietly behind him.
Erwin stares into space for a while, the ghost feeling of Eren’s lips tingling on his skin, before he forces himself to finish his paperwork.
He masturbates twice that night before he can fall asleep, replaying the little hitches of Eren’s breath, the taste of his lips, and what had to be a promise of more to come.
-
It’s been a quiet month, so Erwin doesn’t feel horribly guilty about his occasional distractions throughout the next day. Maybe that’s why Eren had waited until now. Erwin wouldn’t doubt it.
They pass each other in the hallway at midday. Erwin stops in his tracks and Eren flushes a little, smiling shyly. Erwin feels like the air between them is charged, and hopes no one nearby can pick up on it.
“Sir,” he says, nodding respectfully.
“Jaeger.”
He has no idea how to talk to him, not after last night, not in public.
Eren moves on, heading to the mess hall without another word. Erwin doesn’t allow himself to look his way for the rest of the day.
-
Eren knocks on his door at the exact hour. Erwin opens it readily.
“You don’t regret last night, do you, sir?”
“No, of course not, why-“
He pushes Erwin against the wall and kisses him sloppily, hungry and without any of the finesse or reservation of the night before. Erwin grabs Eren’s waist and pulls them together, gasping when he feels Eren’s cock already half-hard against his hip.
Eren’s hands rove over Erwin’s body, and every little touch has him gasping into his mouth. It’s been so long, he already feels himself hardening. He dares to trail his hand down to Eren’s buttocks, palming one of those firm little globes that had inspired so many fantasies, and Eren moans. He pulls back, mouthing at Erwin’s neck, sending shudders of pleasure down his whole body.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day, sir,” he whispers in his ear.
Erwin gasps. “Oh, God, Eren-“
“Fuck me, Erwin, please fuck me, I want your cock so bad.”
Erwin’s chest throbs. He has never heard anything so filthy. He barely manages to process the words, let alone form a coherent response.
“Please, sir?” Eren continues after a beat of silence, “I prepped myself, I brought oil. Please let me sit on your cock.”
Erwin almost comes in his pants.
“Eren, please- saying such things-“
“You want it, don’t you? You’re so hard. Do you want me?”
“God, yes.”
Eren pulls away and immediately starts taking off his clothing, betraying no hint of modesty. He gets down to his briefs before noticing that Erwin hasn’t moved. Embarrassed, Erwin starts unbuttoning his shirt. As if it weren’t difficult enough, his fingers start to fumble at the second one.
“Can I?” Eren asks.
“Yes,” Erwin says, setting his hand back down against the wall. It’d be faster.
Eren steps in front of him and deftly works the buttons. He kisses at his chest as he goes down, getting distracted by Erwin’s nipple, licking and sucking at it in a way Erwin had never experienced. He’s surprised to find it feels amazing, that every scrape of teeth against the bud seems to send a jolt of pleasure straight to his groin, and he hesitates to interrupt.
“Eren,” he whispers breathlessly. Eren looks up at him. “The shirt.”
Eren presses a delicious kiss to the skin and starts back on the buttons.
“Do you like it when I suck your nipples?”
Erwin gasps and bites his hand, looking away. Eren can’t possibly expect an answer to such an obscene question, could he? Is it a generational difference? Do all people his age speak like this?
Eren finishes and pushes Erwin’s shirt off his shoulders. He doesn’t take another moment before sinking to his knees, mouthing at Erwin’s stomach as he undoes his belt.
“Oh, fuck, you’re huge,” he moans as he pulls down Erwin’s pants.
“Nnn,” Erwin flubs.
“Are you close?”
“Close to what?”
“Cumming.”
If Eren keeps this up, Erwin is going to die.
“Yeah?” Eren asks.
Erwin nods. Eren pulls down his underwear and actually moans softly, just looking at it.
“You’re so wet,” he says, breathing against his cock.
Erwin’s vision blurs when he feels Eren’s soft, sinfully hot tongue lapping up his pre.
“Come in my mouth, please,” Eren says, and wraps his lips around the head of Erwin’s cock.
Erwin doesn’t last two seconds. He’d be embarrassed if it didn’t feel so incredible.
Eren wraps his hand around his shaft and pulls as he sucks down Erwin’s mess, moaning, like he’s actually enjoying it. Erwin pushes him away gently when it becomes too much. His knees feel weak.
Eren springs up and pulls him to bed, throwing his briefs off along the way. He straddles Erwin’s waist and leans down to kiss him again, sloppy and wet. His cock rubs against Erwin’s stomach, leaving a thin wet trail against his skin.
“Can you get hard again? I need to feel you inside me.”
“Where in the world did you learn to talk like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like… that,” Erwin tries. Eren looks at him blankly. “’Feel you in- inside me,’ things like that.”
Eren grins.
“You’re blushing, Commander.”
This is close to mortifying.
“Do you like it when I talk dirty?”
“I don’t know.”
“Should I stop?”
“No.”
Eren smirks.
“How long until you can fuck me?”
Filthy. It takes Erwin a moment to figure how to respond.
“Ten, fifteen minutes?”
“Okay.”
Eren gets off him unceremoniously and walks to his pants. His cock bobs obscenely with every step, flushed hard with arousal. Erwin feels a bit bad, this has been awfully one-sided, he hasn’t even touched Eren yet.
Eren comes back with a bottle of oil and sits right back on Erwin’s hips.
“Do you want to finger me, or just watch?”
It’ll be closer to ten minutes than fifteen, Erwin’s sure.
“I’ll do it,” he tries weakly. He can’t imagine speaking with anywhere near the same level of directness as Eren.
Eren presses the bottle in his hand, the pauses.
“Can you get-“
Erwin opens the bottle easily and pours some on his fingers.
“Believe it or not, Eren, I have taken care of myself for the past four years,” he says.
“I meant no dis-“ Eren cuts off in a moan when Erwin’s fingers press against his hole. It’s immediately apparent that he had indeed prepared himself before coming here.
Goodness.
Erwin decides to think about the implications later. There’s no way he could pleasure Eren properly while his mind was in the gutter, imagining when, where, how, in what position-
“Please, sir, don't tease," Eren whines, rocking back on his fingers.
Erwin swallows and pushes inside. It’s so tight, wet and hot and throbbing around him, but soft and yielding as the women he’d slept with. He feels as much as he hears Eren’s satisfied moan. He gives him a moment to adjust before searching for his spot.
“Your fingers are so thick, Commander,” Eren groans. Erwin has no idea how to respond. Then, he feels the firmness of his gland, and Eren shakes over him, his insides tightening up and drawing him deeper. “Mmm, fuck, right there!” he says, as if Erwin couldn’t tell.
Erwin feels less bad as they go on for not taking charge. Eren seems to revel in telling him exactly what to do- how fast and hard to move his fingers, when to add another, when to press and rub and tease. Erwin doesn’t know if he likes it more when he’s rambling that impossible filth or when he’s moaning into his mouth, rutting against his fingers as he kisses him.
Erwin finally withdraws his fingers when he feels himself hard enough to continue. Eren reaches back to coat Erwin’s hardness with oil before steadying himself against Erwin’s chest. They both gasp when his head breaches his entrance.
“Oh, fuck, you’re so big-“
Erwin throws his arm over his face. He thought he’d be able to handle Eren’s mouth, but combined with the blinding pleasure he just. Can’t. He can’t.
Eren sinks down slowly, moaning and gasping with every inch, and Erwin is shuddering by the end of it. They both wait, gasping for air, while Eren adjusts.
“Erwin,” Eren says.
Erwin peeks up from his arm. Eren’s cheeks are dark with blood and his eyes are glassy. He takes Erwin’s wrist and pins it to the side, and leans down to kiss him. He moans, soft and high-pitched, every time his hips make a tiny little movement.
“I’m gonna start, okay?” he says.
Haven’t we already started? Erwin just nods.
Eren lifts up a few inches, then sinks back down slowly with a sharp moan. It feels incredible, Erwin feels fire all over his body.
“God, Erwin- your cock- fuck-“
He starts rocking his hips faster, taking more of Erwin on his thrusts up and down.
“Harder, fuck, your cock is amazing, please, yeah, like that-“ Eren rambles as he works himself up.
Erwin isn’t even doing anything. He has a wicked thought, one that sends a shudder down his core. How would he react if I were?
When Eren’s hips lift up again, Erwin slams his cock into him hard. Eren nearly screams.
“You want me to fuck you?” Erwin asks.
God, did that actually just come out of his mouth?
Eren shakes and bites Erwin’s shoulder.
“Yeah, fuck me, please fuck me hard, please-“
Erwin grabs Eren and flips him on his back. Eren’s knuckles are white against the sheets and he rocks back, tightening around Erwin and encouraging him on.
It’s been ages he’d done this, but Erwin finds there’s some things one just doesn’t forget. His hips work on their own, setting a fast, punishing pace that feels like heaven and has Eren moaning harshly with each thrust. He wraps his hand around Eren’s hardness but Eren pushes him away, mumbling some mind-melting line about wanting to come from his cock alone. Erwin tries to numb himself to the blinding intensity of his pleasure, at least until he’s sure Eren will be satisfied. He angles his hips until he finds a position that has Eren shuddering and twitching under him.
He starts to wonder if Eren is close, when Eren starts up again.
“Fuck, yes, Erwin, I’m close, I’m coming, I’m going to come-“
Erwin bites his lip and focuses on holding out, begging his body to make it, and then Eren goes completely still and silent, his insides tightening against Erwin like a vice. Erwin’s vision blurs and he falls groans as his orgasm is ripped from him.
Eren pulls away before Erwin can pull out and turns over, pulling Erwin on top of him. They kiss for a long time while they catch their breath and get their minds back.
“Did you enjoy it?” Eren asks. His voice has a wonderful tone to it, slightly raw from all his moaning.
“Do you really have to ask?”
Eren looks taken aback.
Maybe he does, Erwin thinks. Maybe he needs to verbalize everything he’s feeling, and expects Erwin to, as well. Thinking back, Erwin can’t say it’s a terrible practice. It’s worlds different from what he’d been raised with, but it was certainly more effective than his assumptions and inferences. Maybe he could do with a little more bluntness, at least in personal matters.
“It was incredible, Eren.”