Chapter Text
“Autobots, retreat!”
Starscream heard Optimus Prime’s order across the battlefield and snarled in frustration. The objective was within his reach, if they retreated now it would be lost! The Decepticons had them pinned down, but Starscream was fast, he could slip through the enemy fire and grab that relic and still make it back to the ground bridge. His mind made up, he leapt into the air and transformed. His thruster propelled him forward, and he sliced through air like a blade. Vehicons’ blaster shots whizzed past him, singeing his armour, but he was quicker, he was agile, in the sky he was in his element and nothing could stop him. He cleared some space with his own blasters and dived, ready to transform and grab the prize. Oh, the Prime would be so pleased with him for bringing home the victory, Starscream would be in his favour now for sure! And the other Autobots, they would have to overlook his past mistakes and accept him. He would prove his usefulness and make sure none of them ever regretted taking him in again!
A sudden impact knocked him off course and sent him into a wild spin, and his wing flamed in agony. He transformed and crash-landed, barely managing to keep his footing as his sharp heels cut furroughs in the dusty earth. He transformed out his blasters and turned to vapourise his attacker – only to freeze up when he saw Megatron himself advancing toward him, his fusion cannon still smoking. All Starscream’s bravery evaporated in an instant. He backed up, tripped over his own feet and fell on his aft. He was surrounded, cut off from his allies, and face to face with the one mech in the galaxy who most wanted him dead. He transformed his blasters away in favour of cowering behind his hands. His wings dipped low, even the one that was still smouldering from Megatron’s cannon blast, and his tank felt like it was about to empty from fear alone.
“M-Megatron,” he pleaded. Megatron’s footfalls shook the ground as he got closer. “Please, have mercy... “
“Traitor!” Megatron growled. “You have finally run out of chances, Starscream. Your other treacheries I forgave, but selling your spark to the Autobots? That’s a step too far, even for you.”
Starscream stared down the barrel of Megatron’s fusion cannon, saw the pink glow intensify as he prepared to shoot. He couldn’t look. His own weapons were forgotten, his pride of only moments before nowhere to be found. All he could do was make himself as small a target as possible and cover his helm with his hands, and pray to Primus for a quick death.
Megatron fired, but his shot missed. Starscream dared to peek and saw the warlord was under Autobot fire, and the next instant Optimus Prime slammed into Megatron and grappled him to the floor. Starsream stared, dumbfounded, as Optimus pounded dents into Megatron’s armour. He regained his senses only when Optimus shouted, “Starscream! Get to the ground bridge!”
Starscream sprang to his feet, but hesitated. There were no other Autobots in sight, and while Optimus dueled Megatron, the vehicons were closing in. If he took flight now, the Prime would be scrap metal for sure. And if Starscream returned to the base and left Optimus to die? He didn’t even want to think about what the other Autobots would do to him then. With a curse, he fired a missile into the advancing line of vehicons, carefully aimed to take out as many as possible, and then used his blasters to clear a path. “Prime!” he yelled. “Leave him, let’s go!”
Optimus gave Megatron a sound kick, forcing the warlord to his knees, and then turned to run after Starscream. Starscream was relieved – he’d half believed Optimus would insist on staying to continue his fight with Megatron, even though it was clearly unwinnable. Optimus was a force to be reckoned with, but they just couldn’t take the risk when they were this outnumbered. As soon as Optimus was moving, Starscream leapt into the air and transformed. He fired into the vehicons that stood between Optimus and the Autobot ground bridge to clear Optimus a path, and then swooped over the bridge and looped back for another pass. His damaged wing made it hard to fly straight, but Starscream didn’t get to be the Decepticon Air Commander by not knowing how to stay in the air when things got dicey.
To his frustration, Optimus had stopped when he reached the bridge and was still fending off drones. Megatron had recovered, and was advancing with murder in his optics. Why hadn’t the Prime escaped already? Didn’t he know he was putting himself in unnecessary danger? What was he waiting around for?
“Starscream! Through the ground bridge!”
“You first!” Starscream yelled back. He was approaching the bridge at speed, and fired a few pot shots at his former Decepticon comrades as he went. He saw the hesitation in Optimus’s stance, but then he gave in. He ran into the swirling green portal a moment before Starscream flew into it after him.
They tumbled out the other side together, having collided on the way. The portal closed as soon as they came through, and the rest of the Autobots descended on them. Starscream transformed and escaped from under Optimus’s heavy frame, only to come face to face with Arcee, who looked like she was out for blood. He took up a deferential stance at once, only to flinch when the motion tweaked his wing.
Meanwhile, Ratchet had already begun haranguing Optimus. “How could you be so reckless?” he demanded. “Optimus, you could have been killed.”
“An Autobot never leaves a comrade behind,” Optimus said as he picked himself up and dusted himself off. Megatron had given him a few dents too, including a shining bruise around his left optic that would be swollen and blue by tomorrow.
“He’s not a comrade,” Arcee said without taking her optics off Starscream. “He’ll never be an Autobot.”
“Ratchet,” Optimus said, as the medic fussed over his damage. “Starscream is more badly wounded, his wing needs urgent attention. Arcee, Starscream has made considerable sacrifices to be here with us today, and he fought alongside us with honour.”
“Honour?” Arcee scoffed. “He doesn’t know anything about honour, or sacrifice.” She gave Starscream one last contemptuous look before stalking away.
Ratchet beckoned him, and Starscream followed the doctor back to the medical bay with wings downcast. Ratchet tutted and sighed over his repairs, but otherwise didn’t voice the disapproval Starscream was sure he had for Starscream’s reckless actions. His failure hovered over him, and for every minute it wasn’t spoken of, the twisting tension in Starscream’s fuel tank got worse. He had miscalculated and failed to obtain the relic, had put himself in danger and, worst of all, had caused Optimus to come and rescue him. Megatron had beaten him for smaller mistakes. He had yet to see Optimus discipline his team, but knew this failure couldn’t possibly go unanswered. So he was uncharacteristically quiet as Ratchet fixed him up, while his mind ran through a million horrible possibilities of what the Prime had in store.
Ratchet finished with him and sent him on his way, and Starscream was just about to scuttle off to his room and hope everybot forgot about him when none other than Optimus Prime blocked his path. Starscream stared up at him and gulped. “O-Optimus,” he stuttered, wings folding down his back. He bobbed an awkward bow. “Lord- I mean, uh, Master. Apologies.”
He heard Optimus’s hydraulics hiss and his engine choke for a moment, and then Optimus said, “Starscream, please call me Optimus. I am nobody’s master, least of all yours.” Starscream straightened, but kept his wings low and his head ducked. Optimus cleared his throat, and then said, “How is your wing?”
“What?” Starscream’s head shot up and he blinked in surprise. “Oh, my wing. It’s fine, never better,” he said with a nervous titter. He wasn’t soothed byOptimus’s solicitous demeanour – Megatron had pulled the same trick on him plenty of times. He would pretend to care about Starscream’s wellbeing, lull him into a false sense of security, and then, when Starscream’s defenses were down, then he would let the mask fall and humiliate and hurt him worse than ever. “Ratchet did a creditable job, although he’s no Knock Out. Don’t tell him I said that. And don’t tell Knock Out I said that either, he’s vain enough. Ha ha,” he babbled. There was a beat of nervous silence wherein Starscream was unable to meet Optimus’s optics. “Well, if that’s everything,” he said eventually. “I think I’ll just… be going…”
“Starscream, wait.” Optimus’s hand closed on Starscream’s shoulder as the seeker started to turn away, and Starscream yelped. Optimus withdrew his servo at once, but the damage was done, and the deep frown on his face only made Starscream more sure that this was the moment he feared, that the time had finally come for him to pay for his reckless mistake. As much as he wanted to keep his pride and take his beating with his head held high, panic got the better of him and he fell back on millions of years of tried-and-tested survival instincts.
In short, he begged.
He fell to his knees and pleaded, hands clasped, for Optimus to be merciful, to take pity on a poor, pathetic seeker who had only had the best of intentions, even though he was a fool whose idiocy had cost them the mission and nearly Optimus’s life. He was so caught up in his frantic grovelling that he didn’t notice Optimus had knelt also until Optimus’s large hands gently closed around his own and drew them away from his helm. Starscream blinked open his optics, unaware of when he had closed them. Lifting his head, he found himself staring into Optimus’s eyes and unable to look away. Had they always been that blue? They were vibrant as the Earthian sky itself, and as bright as stars.
“Starscream?”
“I…I…” Starscream was finding it hard to draw breath. His fans creaked with the effort of keeping him cool.
“Please relax,” Optimus said. “I’m not going to… hurt you. I must admit, I do not quite understand the reason for your distress, but rest assured you are safe here.”
“I… But the mission. I failed , we lost the relic, and you were wounded, I disobeyed a direct order–”
“Starscream. Not every mission can be a success, but the responsibility for that does not rest solely on your shoulders. If any bot is responsible, it’s me. And as for disobeying orders – although you may be allied with us currently, you are still not an Autobot. Therefore I have no right to order you to do anything,” Optimus finished, with just the smallest hint of a smile.
Starscream couldn’t wrap his processor around what he was hearing. It was so much the opposite of Megatron’s approach that he almost laughed and mocked Optimus for being weak, but he was still too shaken up and frightened, so all he did was sniff and look bashfully away. “So,” he croaked after a moment. “You’re… not going to punish me?”
“No, I am not. You fought bravely today. I am proud to fight by your side.” Starscream stared at him, sure there would be a catch, that he was being set up for a reprisal, but he found nothing but honesty in Optimus’s eyes. Energon rushed to his cheeks, tinting his face-plates faintly blue. “Next time I would prefer if you didn’t put yourself in such danger,” Optimus added. “While I appreciate your dedication to the mission, your safety is more important than any relic we could obtain.”
Flustered, Starscream looked down and prayed his blush wasn’t too obvious. His spark was pulsing in an unfamiliar way, almost painful, and he suddenly knew he needed to get away before he embarrassed himself any further. Optimus started to stand up, and gently helped Starscream to his feet also. He was still holding Starscream’s hands, and once they were upright he gave Starscream’s servos a little squeeze, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles.
“I…” Starscream’s wings flicked back and forth, betraying his uncertainty. His instinct was to spurn Optimus’s reassurance and his kindness, to hit back before he allowed himself to be let down. But this was Optimus Prime . Finally, he muttered, “Perhaps I could be more careful next time.”
He looked up to see Optimus smile, and it was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. “I am glad to hear that,” Optimus said.
From that day on, Starscream couldn’t stop thinking about Optimus’s words, nor the gentle conviction with which he said them. He went out of his way to hear more like them. He fluttered around Optimus as he once had around Megatron, only Optimus never sent him away with a backhand and a growled order to stop bothering him. Optimus was patient, and even when he was busy he always greeted Starscream with a smile – a small, restrained smile, the smile of a bot unused to expressing himself, but a genuine one all the same. When Starscream brought him a stack of reports he had compiled regarding Decepticon energon stores and projected fuel yield for the coming year, Optimus thanked him. Then, later, as they took their evening cube, he told him he’d done “good work”.
Optimus’s words bounced around Starscream’s head for days. He fell into recharge thinking about them, and throughout his day his mind would repeatedly return to that sweet moment of validation and never fail to bring a smug smile to his face. He, Starscream, had gained the approval and respect of Optimus Prime himself? Well of course, it was nothing more than he deserved. He was Starscream, elite energon seeker, scion of one of the great houses of Vos, and rightful leader of the Decepticons. As leader of the Autobots, Optimus was his peer, or so he saw it. Optimus had risen from his humble beginnings and become a great warrior and leader; so too would Starscream rise from his humiliating subjugation under Megatron to become the great mech he was always meant to be.
The only fly in the ointment was the disapproving and cold attitudes of the other Autobots. He bore their glares with dignity, even though they stung. “Don’t think we don’t know what you’re doing,” Arcee said to him one day, as she passed him in the hallway. She had Wheeljack and Bulkhead with her, who both matched her venomous glare. “We all see it.”
“And what is that?” Starscream answered acidly. He had a crate of energon cubes in his arms as he was helping Ratchet with inventory. It was menial work, far below him, but Optimus had looked at him expectantly when Ratchet asked for volunteers, and Starscream hadn’t been able to disappoint him.
“Toadying up to Optimus,” Bulkhead said. Starscream shifted on his pedes; the big Wrecker made him nervous. “C’mon Screamer, could you be any more obvious?”
“Psh, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Starscream. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get these energon cubes to the lower storage area before Ratchet blows a fuse.” He began to walk away, when Wheeljack blocked his path with his arm, his hand against the wall. Starscream sneered at him. “Get out of my way,” he said imperiously.
“Not so fast,” Arcee said. “Optimus wants to see the best in everyone, but you can’t fool the rest of us so easily.”
“Why Arcee, are you suggesting your wise leader is so easily misled?”
“That’s not what she meant,” Bulkhead growled, making Starscream flinch. The three of them were standing too close to him now, crowding him against the wall. He held the crate of energon cubes in front of his body as a barrier.
“That’s what it sounded like,” Starscream said.
“Just know that we’re watching you,” said Arcee, thrusting a digit at his face. “And whatever you’re scheming, it won’t work.”
“Noted,” Starscream said with a curl of his lip. “Now may I pass?”
The trio menaced him for a moment longer, and then, finally, Wheeljack stepped back. There was a silent threat in his body language, and Starscream remembered that this Wrecker had also claimed his share of Decepticon lives. Starscream hurried away from the three Autobots as soon as he could, and felt their hostile gazes upon his back until he turned the corner.
He was still thinking about the encounter while he was sorting and putting away Ratchet’s energon cubes. It hadn’t been his intention to curry favour with Optimus using underhanded tactics – he was supposed to have turned over a new leaf, after all – but now he thought about it, the Autobots might just be onto a good idea. If he earned Optimus Prime’s friendship, he would be in a safer position to fend off the distrust and accusations of the other Autobots. They wouldn’t go against their leader. They weren’t Decepticons .
A sly smirk spread across his face as he plotted. Perhaps he would simply continue to work his way into Optimus’s good books in whatever way he could, since it was what everyone expected him to do anyway. It was the smart thing to do to ensure his future survival and safety, and it absolutely, definitely had nothing at all to do with the way his spark fizzed whenever Optimus smiled at him.