Chapter Text
The red light of the lanterns was soothing as it illuminated the surroundings in a warm color. Wei Wuxian smiled to himself as he swung a bottle of liquor in his right hand, lying on a small hill near the Demon-subdue cave. Alcohol made life more bearable, he mildly thought as he gazed into the blackness above him, that which was too far to be reached by the small red lanterns around their small village. It felt like years away since he had been living in Yunmeng, with his family, which wasn’t anymore.
A sigh left his lips as he took another deep sip.
“Drinking again I see.” A sudden voice tore through the silence.
Wei Wuxian sat up in surprise and gave a sheepish grin when Wen Qing sank down next to him. Her movement always precise and to-the-point in a way Wei Wuxian admired.
“It’s barely evening and you-” Wen Qing had started, but Wei Wuxian quickly interrupted. “It’s already dark.”
“Do you take me for a fool? It’s always dark, and by late afternoon, it’s already like this,” she said, gesturing around with one hand as she stared almost fiercely at Wei Wuxian.
The other backed away slightly, but simply stated, “Feels like night though.”
Wen Qing didn’t say anything further on the subject and when Wei Wuxian offered her the bottle, she reached for it without another word.
“Drink some, but give it back afterwards. Don’t take it away from me,” Wei Wuxian quickly added. He waited for a nod before letting go of the bottle so Wen Qing could have some for herself. He had rarely seen her drinking, he supposed. Last night, after the celebrations for Wen Ning’s return, he had mostly seen her taking care of everyone, busying herself with being useful and having everything under her control.
Wen Qing lifted the bottle to her lips, hesitating just for a small moment, before gulping down part of it. Wei Wuxian observed her curiously as she passed the bottle back.
For a moment, Wei Wuxian wondered if Wen Qing was actually okay, but he didn’t dare ask. She would just brush it off anytime someone showed any worry for her. Just like someone else that immediately sprang to mind. Lan Wangji. Lan Zhan. He had ignored it, too, whenever Wei Wuxian actually allowed himself to express worry for him.
“Can I ask you something, Wen Qing?” It had left Wei Wuxian’s lips as soon as the barest thought, the small snippets of a far-away memory, had formed in his mind. But now, there was no going back. He remembered how he had once asked his senior sister about it. She had laughed, smiled gently, and in the end they had teased each other until they forgot about it altogether. Only the next day, Wei Wuxian had remembered that he had gotten no actual answer from her. He hadn’t dared ask again either. Perhaps now, he could give it another try with another person. He drank some more while expectantly watching Wen Qing.
“What is it?” Wen Qing’s voice was even, almost grounding.
“Okay, I have been-” Wei Wuxian stopped. This was embarrassing, but he couldn’t back away now, could he? “There is something that I have been wondering.” When Wen Qing just stared back at him, waiting for him to continue, he finally couldn’t bear to look at her anymore. First, his eyes flickered down towards his hands, stiffly holding onto the bottle of liquor as if it might carry him away. He forced his fingers to relax a little bit, so that he wouldn’t appear as nervous as he actually felt before deciding to hand the bottle over to be rid of that distraction altogether. He stared straight ahead before slowly wording his thoughts. “Why would one like another? I mean that kind of like,” he added in a re-enactment of his memory with his senior sister.
A beat passed. Silence.
Wei Wuxian dared to take a cautious look at his drinking companion, unsure what answer he wanted to get.
“It only seems bothersome,” he finally said, quieter than before. At that, Wen Qing raised her brows and gave him a leveled look. A small smirk played at her lips, but when she spoke up, she sounded serious. “I-” Wen Qing took a deep breath, apparently using that time to think over her words more carefully. “I try to do my best, to do what is right, but for me..” Another pause. “Seeing Wen Ning awake, having my family with me here – Madam, my uncles, little A-Yuan – and seeing them smile again after such a long time, is making me feel content, too. And by extend, to fall in love with someone is to expand that circle.”
Wei Wuxian looked at her, unsure what to make of that at first. He was about to remind her, that feelings can change and heartbreak hurts, thus making it more risky and insecure as family. Ironically, he himself had forever cut the ties to his family. His own circle – these days at least – contained fewer and fewer people. With an almost defeated sigh, he let his shoulders slump over, only mumbling, “It’s different though.” Wei Wuxian thought about how often Lan Zhan crossed his mind, how much he admired him, how much he missed him and how much it hurt to be afraid of the one you wish to see happy in life the most be tarnished by Wei Wuxian. Lan Zhan, always proper and rule-abiding, he would never be able to accept the path Wei Wuxian had chosen and Wei Wuxian would never be able to turn back to Lan Zhan’s sunny road. He wouldn’t be able to even speak those things out loud. “Have you never liked someone like that?”
This time, Wen Qing looked away, almost shyly, and Wei Wuxian smirked as he turned fully towards her. “You have! So who was it? One of the Wen clan’s people? Tell me.”
Wen Qing sighed audible, not actually meeting Wei Wuxian’s eyes and before she could back further away or find an excuse, he reached for her wrist to keep her sitting next to him. “You have to tell me now, Wen Qing,” he urged her and teasingly lifted her arm up at the wrist he was holding. He shook it back and forth, trying to bother Wen Qing into reacting.
“Let go,” Wen Qing muttered as she tore her arm away and held it to her own chest for a moment. In the next second a gently smile spread across her face though. “There was someone I really admired. We met under difficult circumstances, but being able to take care of the other and talking about what is on your mind, that connection we had; it is impressive that that kind of thing exists. To be able to share a deep part of your life with someone else and feel completely understood.”
Wei Wuxian had listened closely, carefully cataloguing and comparing the information he had received to his own experiences.
“Who was that person?” he eventually asked out of curiosity, having trouble to imagine the person Wen Qing might fall for. It was difficult, rather impossible for his mind to form an image of a connected human being that Wen Qing might find attractive. Every kind of face or body part that came to mind was somehow off when he imagined it as a whole person standing in front of Wen Qing. No one seemed to be good enough in his mind. “Did he return your feelings?” Or she? Wen Qing hadn’t given much away yet. That needed to change, Wei Wuxian decided immediately.
“It was…,” Wen Qing bit her lower lip, trying to find the right words to tell Wei Wuxian. Maybe talking about this would be beneficial to both of them. Wen Qing had probably never actually talked about that specific person with anyone else in her life. “It was a complicated situation. It wasn’t meant to last. But we did have some very nice days back then,” she concluded with a content smile. It was good to finally say that out loud, to come to that conclusion and accept that it was in the past, but that didn’t mean it was any less important to her own being or that she were to forget the courage that person had given her.
“Did you two kiss?” An elbow was prodding her in her side and she swatted Wei Wuxian’s arm away. Nonetheless, a bashful smile on her lips gave the answer away and Wei Wuxian laughed with a teasing delight shining in his eyes.
The bottle was handed over once more – having almost been forgotten until now. Wen Qing rubbed her upper arm a few times before letting her hands fall into her lap, her hesitance uncharacteristic but Wei Wuxian couldn’t pin it down to a specific reason or cause, be it shyness, nervousness, insecurity or something else altogether. “I met her during the sunshot campaign, but I’m not sure it would be wise to say more,” she finally admitted, happily smiling as she remembered some far-away memory.
“Come on. We are here together at the end of the world. Whom would I tell?” Wei Wuxian pressed with another small push of his elbow to Wen Qing’s side. This time, she just let him since he stopped on his own afterwards. “Wait. It’s a girl? Tell me, Wen Qing. How can you not after all you have already said just now?”
Wen Qing didn’t reply, so Wei Wuxian kept going. “You kissed a girl. And that even before me.” A laugh escaped his lips and when he emptied the bottle of liquor, he finally felt it rushing through his body, making him a little light-headed. He stood then, his flute Chenqing in his right hand as he used it to point at her, swaying slightly and feeling tipsy now that he was standing. “You are obligated to tell me who she is,” he declared as Wen Qing’s eyes followed the movement of Chenqing. When she was about to open her mouth, Wei Wuxian hurriedly added “I dare you,” to challenge her to finally tell him more. He wasn’t sure why he was so curious himself. But he wanted to know that about Wen Qing. She was a formidable woman and Wei Wuxian – although never telling her to her face – had a great deal of respect for her.
“Fine, I tell you.” Her voice was sharp, the air around her cool and her face calm. “Sit down first.”
He followed her words, taking his place opposite her to watch her expression carefully. When she still took more time than necessary – at least in Wei Wuxian’s opinion – he gave her a soft pout. “You never said anything about other women.” Why didn’t I know? he wanted to ask.
“It’s not other people’s business.”
“That is true,” Wei Wuxian agreed with an understanding nod, before remembering that he still didn’t know more about that girl Wen Qing had mentioned. “What’s her name?” Other people meant strangers, obviously, but by now, he and Wen Qing had grown close enough for him to keep asking, he concluded.
To Wei Wuxian’s surprise, Wen Qing was smirking at him, her eyes sparkling dangerously. It caused a shiver to run down his back and he shoved her shoulder in a gentle way. “Ah. What is it? Do I know her?”
“You could say that. I met her when Wen Ning brought you all to Yiling after you escaped Wen Chao.” With soft laughter, she finally told him and Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened, unable to prevent a gasp leaving his lips. “My senior sister?”
Wen Qing smiled self-satisfied at Wei Wuxian’s shocked realization. He had lifted his flute to point towards Wen Qing once again, his mouth gaping, “You- You- My senior sister and you? I never would have guessed…” In his head, images of the girls sitting close together and talking formed, slowly becoming clearer. It was a strange sight, not really fitting together, but that might be because he had never actually seen these two being close and affectionate with each other. It was an unfamiliar thought, but not unreasonable, just unexpected. A small smile spread across his face, warm and encouraging.
Wen Qing didn’t graze him with any further reply to something that was obvious by now, simply choosing to remain silent.
“But my sister- she- she is getting married soon, you know?”
A loud laugh escaped Wen Qing before she could control herself. Maybe she was a little drunk as well, Wei Wuxian realized belatedly. She probably wouldn’t have talked to him this openly otherwise either. Not that she seemed ashamed of herself, but rather she was very closed-off when it came to her personal feelings and thoughts. Nonetheless, her voice was smooth as silk, no trace of drunkenness when she spoke; more controlled even as a drunk Lan Zhan after having slept for a while. “I know. You told me last night that you are sad that you aren’t able to attend her wedding. About her and me, that ended quite some time ago – if it was ever anything. I just wish her a happy marriage.”
Wei Wuxian was surprised and impressed at her sincerity right then. He swallowed and nodded to tell her he understood, but other than that, he wasn’t sure how to proceed from here. Fortunately, Wen Qing appeared happy to take over, “Now back to you, I assume when you asked me about why one would like another, you were thinking about Second Childe Lan?”
Wei Wuxian felt his ears heat up immediately, his face was already radiating warmth, but he hoped that was seen as caused by the liquor and not his own embarrassment just now. Perhaps, with only the small red lanterns at the foot of their small hill, it wouldn’t be noticeable to Wen Qing. He shifted and pulled his legs up to his chest, resting his arms on his knees and playing with his fingers.
“Wei Wuxian, since when are you shy?” she asked laughing.
“It’s not that!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed with a pout, but hid his face in his arms anyway. A firm grip on his shoulder forced him to lift his head slightly to give Wen Qing a look. His eyes gave at least some of the insecurities he was feeling away for the hand on his shoulder squeezed gently in comfort. Her eyes were encouraging him to explain further.
And Wei Wuxian was frustrated. He groaned before he lifted his head up to stare straight ahead. “We aren’t compatible. He hates-,” he stopped, hesitated and looked down at his hands, then at the flute lying next to him. “-That,” he lamely finished with a short nod towards Chenqing. He couldn’t drag him down with him, he thought bitterly, he wouldn’t want to. A cold breeze let him shiver and suddenly, he felt like crying. His senior sister was getting married. JiangCheng had cast him out of the sect and there would never be any reconciliation possible, it seemed. After all, he had rebelled openly against all sects. There would be no going back. And Lan Zhan… He wished he could talk to him again. Deep inside, when he was forced to pick apart and examine what he and Lan Zhan had, he still couldn’t clearly tell. They had a kind of connection that permitted something unspoken, something wonderful and grand. It gave Wei Wuxian endless comfort to be in his presence, to tease and force a reaction. And deep inside, he thought, Lan Zhan might feel the same. Or was that just wishful thinking?
In the end, after carefully overthinking everything, he still wasn’t sure. And it wasn’t enough anyway. So he remained silent.
---
“A-Yuan is a bird!” the child squealed with his small arms and legs stretched out while Wen Ning was carrying him with his arms around his chest and thighs to support the ‘flying’ Yuan as he was running between the trees near their little village.
Wei Wuxian was walking up the mountain path, having just brought some essentials from Yiling. He grinned at their antics, satisfied to see them playing and laughing so freely in such surroundings. At least something was working out here.
“Where are you flying to, A-Yuan?” he called over to them with a friendly wave towards them.
“Brother Xian, brother Xian!” Yuan exclaimed happily and urged Wen Ning to run towards him.
Wen Ning did, carrying the child effortlessly until he reached Wei Wuxian. Yuan grabbed for the other one, managing to catch a strand of hair between his fingers and pulled.
“Ah, A-Yuan! That hurts!”
“Brother Xian. I’m flying to the top of the mountain. Brother Ning said there are the most tastiest fruits,” the child explained in a matter-of-fact, making Wei Wuxian chuckle as he squeezed Yuan’s cheek. “A-Yuan doesn’t need to fly there. Look what brother Xian brought you. But first, let go of my hair, A-Yuan,” he said as sternly as possible, and finally, the other listened.
Wei Wuxian opened up the bag he had with him to carry the things he had brought and pulled out two fresh loquats. “For you,” he said as he offered the fruits. Yuan took the gift, pleased and immediately lifting one for a first bite. Wei Wuxian ruffled through the child’s hair, content that Yuan took it so readily and gazed at Wen Ning who had been silently watching until then.
“Wen Ning, Wen Ning. What are you telling little A-Yuan?” he scolded, a teasing smile playing on his lips.
Wen Ning ducked his head away slightly, but replied nonetheless, “It- it wasn’t me,” before telling Yuan to hold on tight to the fruits and running off with him.
“Hey! You-!” At the last second, Wei Wuxian stopped himself from cursing while Yuan was still in hearing range and just closed the bag to chase after them.
Yuan shrieked happily, caught in the moment and excited to play. Wei Wuxian followed them through the woods and around trees for a few minutes, but he had already carried everything up the mountain on his own and without golden core, he had unfortunately realized it was much harder to do physically exhausting tasks. “You win, A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian gasped eventually. His tired muscles were aching and he reluctantly had to give up and bring the purchases back to their village before he collapsed from exhaustion.
When he arrived there, he was greeted by Wen Qing. “Finally. What took you so long? I need the bandages. And have you found-”
Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened in horror. Oh no. “B-Bandages?”
“Don’t tell me you forgot, Wei Wuxian!”
“Okay, okay, I won’t,” he hurriedly said, lifting his hands up to show his innocence while Wen Qing was giving him a deathly glare before rummaging through the bag. Wei Wuxian watched on in silence. Nothing could be said or done here. He could only wait for the unavoidable.
“Wei Wuxian!” Wen Qing repeated angrily. “At least you brought the rest that I had asked for. Oh, no, wrong, you missed some herbs, too. You need to go back now and get bandages and the missing herbs, huangqi and danggui. You know fourth uncle has injuried himself this morning. It can’t wait.”
“I don’t want to go down there again. Can’t you send Wen Ning?” he muttered as a sarcastic suggestion, but Wen Qing ignored him, already emptying the bag before handing it back and ushered him towards the path that would lead him back down. He had to hurry if he wanted to make it there before it became too late. “Fine, fine, I go.”
On the way down, Wei Wuxian contemplated buying some alcohol as well. They still had some fruit wine in store from fourth uncle, but since he was probably unable to help with work and thus also unable to make more, Wei Wuxian thought he did well bringing some more in advance. If he felt like it, then maybe he wouldn’t even tell Wen Qing about it. She surely would notice the missing money – she was always keeping count. But right now, Wei Wuxian didn’t feel like caring for that.
It was lonely, walking this small path downwards. Fitting, he thought with a huff. His mind drifted towards his family, which might as well be called former family in his head, he realized. He wondered how his senior sister was doing. She should have been married by now for some time. How long had it been? Five months? Six months? Wei Wuxian could no longer tell, and seasons didn’t change on Burial mounds either. By now, it had become rare to go down to Yiling. Mostly, they had managed to become self-sufficient. Only from time to time, Wei Wuxian, sometimes accompanied by Wen Ning, would take the walk down to buy things they were missing. Like some herbs and medicine. But other than that, he had no other indicators for the time that passed. No one in their village kept track either.
When Wei Wuxian left the mountain he realized that it was indeed later than expected and he started running the rest of the way until he reached the first buildings of the town. He hurried through the streets, hoping fervently that it hadn’t closed yet.
And he was lucky today, it seemed. In the end, he not only managed to collect all that Wen Qing had told him to, but also had some time to enter a tavern. Being back an hour sooner or later wouldn’t make much difference now anyway.
He sat at an empty table and ordered his liquor, his eyes wandering over the other guests. It was quite crowded, people were chatting everywhere around him, but no one recognized him. Some where even talking about him, at least he was pretty sure he had just heard something about the Yiling Patriach. Gossip seemed to be the greatest good to some. Pathetic.
Wei Wuxian turned away, concentrating on the drink he had just been served, as he picked out a differentiated voice, deep and familiar. His heart skipped a beat in excitement while Wei Wuxian tried to make sense of it. Had that been Lan Zhan’s voice? Was this in his head? Panic at the second thought rushed through him and he quickly jumped up to be able to look outside over the crowded tavern. Just passing at the open entrance, Wei Wuxian saw a light blue robe – in stark contrast to the dark surroundings in the evening, almost shining from the light of the lanterns at the roofs of the buildings – and the ends of a white headband. Could it be? Wei Wuxian’s heart started racing at the prospect of seeing Lan Zhan again. Was he looking for him again?
Wei Wuxian returned to his seat, emptied the liquor he still had on the small table in front of him and ordered six further jars to take with him. He needed to store some in his cave after all, unless he wanted to suffer through weeks with no liquor. The few wine bottles from fourth uncle would be empty soon enough.
After stowing everything away in the bag and paying for the services, he rushed outside, immediately starting to walk in the direction he had seen Lan Zhan leave.
At the market place, he finally saw the light blue robe again. And it was Lan Zhan, he realized with relief. He wasn’t going mad after all.
Lan Zhan was standing in front of an inn and talking to a woman. She was wearing light green robes, simple and modest, but with a certain kind of elegance. She had a similar kind of cold beauty around herself as Lan Zhan. Even their robes fit well together, both unostentatious, but their colors were pure and light. It was a magnificiant sight surrounded by flickering lights of lanterns. A longing filled Wei Wuxian’s chest, growing bigger and pulling him closer towards them while fear sparked up in his chest. What was he doing? Obviously, Lan Zhan wasn’t here for him. He was with a woman. Wei Wuxian didn’t know how to think of that. It was never something he had given much thought. Lan Zhan had always been mostly on his own – or with his brother or Wei Wuxian himself. But apparently, the world was moving forward, with or without him. And even if it didn’t, he tried to remind himself that they just weren’t compatible in this life.
He was still taking steps towards them, although way slower than at first. There were still people between them, he was far enough away to just turn around and leave. Avoid the further heartbreak and despair – and the self-loathing that would inevitably follow afterwards.
He was a fool, he decided then and there as his feet kept on carrying him towards the feared destination. A few meters were left between them, only the busy crowd on the streets had prevented Wei Wuxian from having been noticed by now. He bit his lower lip. Why was his heart beating so fast? Why did it feel like voluntarily walking into a nest of snakes?
Wei Wuxian finally tore his eyes away. Logically, it made not much sense for Lan Zhan to be here for him again. Not when he was accompanied by someone else. He didn’t want to see him either, he thought. He had not tried to come here again after that one time back then. Eventually, even A-Yuan had stopped asking about brother Rich. Wei Wuxian still possessed the Stygian Tiger Amulet and wasn’t going to give it up. Lan Zhan would never know the reason for the other giving up his sword – Wei Wuxian would make sure of that – and thus, there really was not much common ground any longer.
He turned around, angry at himself for having felt unreasonable relief at seeing Lan Zhan once more. He didn’t want to be so stupid. As he walked away from the market place, his shoulders hanging down and his eyes fixed on the ground in defeat, he missed how he was finally recognized among the crowd.
“Second Childe Lan,” the woman said in wonder as they both watched a figure dressed in black robes stalk away from the busy place.
“Mn.” Lan Zhan had already started following Wei Wuxian’s retreating form with determination.
Wei Wuxian was wandering aimlessly along the street that was leading him out of town and back home, trying hard to avoid even acknowledging one thought of Lan Zhan in that moment.
“Wei Ying,” a familiar voice suddenly called.
Wei Wuxian stopped in his steps, almost choking at that tone. He really had missed it a lot, he realized, painfully aware of his slightly trembling hands. He balled them into fists as he slowly turned around.
“Lan Zhan…” He couldn’t say more before his throat closed off and he had to cough. Shame washed over him and he didn’t dare meet the other one’s eyes. Lan Zhan was coming to a halt in front of him, the woman standing next to him. And only now, Wei Wuxian properly gazed at her face. “Mianmian?” he asked in surprise. He hadn’t recognized her at first since she hadn’t been wearing the typical Jin sect robes.
“What are you doing here? How come-” His nerves had caused him to pull out his flute so his fingers had something he could hold onto tightly as he shook it back and forth between them. “Lan Zhan, how come you are with Mianmian?” he eventually asked hesitantly, uncharacteristically unsure as he waited for a reply or just a reaction from either of them.
“Childe Wei,” Mianmian greeted with a smile filled with excitement, and a formal bow.
Wei Wuxian looked on rather helplessly until Lan Zhan finally said something. “Wei Ying. How have you been?”
That was a promising start, Wei Wuxian realized and offered a grateful smile at Lan Zhan’s politeness. It was definitely preferable over being scolded and patronized again. “Fine. What about you? Why are you here in Yiling?”
With a loudly beating heart, he waited for a reply, not knowing what he expected or what he wanted to hear. He tried to control his excitement at finally seeing other people again who he had known beforehand. In his earlier life.
“Second Childe Lan offered me to come along with him when he were to go back to Burial Mounds,” Mianmian explained, her smile unmistakably beaming even in the dark evening. “I have prepared some medical bags with herbs from Langlin. It should be possible to even grow some of them in your fields so you have them always ready, I think.”
“Ah thanks. Always caring Mianmian,” Wei Wuxian said teasingly with a wide grin, stifling his nervousness in his chest.
Mianmian huffed, but she was smiling back at him nonetheless.
“So can I offer you the opportunity to sleep in our fine, small village or do you want to stay the night in the inn here in Yiling?”
“We will follow you,” Lan Zhan decided without consulting Mianmian. The woman was quite content though, it seemed, for she happily followed along when Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan headed out of the town.
---
On their way back up the mountain path, Mianmian and Wei Wuxian talked, curious to know more about the other one’s recent life. Lan Zhan was content to silently listen while Mianmian told Wei Wuxian the short version of why she had left her sect and was now with Lan Zhan.
Apparently, her backbone was way more impressive than that of most other people. Wei Wuxian almost felt his heart warm when she relied how she had stood up – not exactly for him but at least for fair justice – and he took a careful look at Lan Zhan a few feet behind him, carrying his sword in his left hand as his eyes trailed over their surroundings. It had become quite dark and Wei Wuxian was glad when he found the small lamp in his bag that he ignited with a talisman. Immediately the nearer part of the path and the closely surrounding trees were lit up with a warm yellow light. It was like one of those night hikes he had gone out for when he had been younger.
Lan Zhan didn’t seem to listen in anymore, not even a minor reaction to their conversation showing on his face. Wei Wuxian wondered what exactly had connected Lan Zhan and Mianmian. They acted relatively comfortable around each other, too, especially for Lan Zhan. Her sense of justice was remarkable and surely something he could recognize and respect her for, but it didn’t seem enough. Lan Zhan was not the person to connect easily with others after all. There needed to have been more.
For a short second, the expression of Lan Zhan in the cave on Mount Muxi came to mind. Wei Wuxian had asked Lan Zhan back then if he were into Mianmian. Had there been more to it then he had realized back then? Or had something else developed while he had been gone in recent months? The thought weighted heavily on his shoulders, frustratingly so, as he forced to stir his thoughts into a different direction. He wondered if he were still allowed to tease her as he had done when they had been younger, but anxiety let his whole body tremble slightly at her and Lan Zhan’s ease with each other.
All of a sudden, Wei Wuxian felt very disconnected to the world around him. He had been living in seclusion with so few people only, no real connection to the outer world left. Had it been worth it? Had he made the right decisions? Had he not just given up his good life for a dozen people without further thought? Would that even make a difference in the long run?
In the end, there was no time to linger on those thoughts. He hated them with a passion, because deep down, he knew that the answers to them weren’t as easy and clear as he would have liked. No one saw his doubts though, no one was allowed to.
Thankfully, Mianmian directed the conversation to a different subject. Her questions about where and how exactly Wei Wuxian lived and with whom was something he could easily share the answers to. He didn’t go much into detail, letting out most of the more serious troubles they had faced here and instead focusing on having managed to build up a small village with the people there.
“How are they all anyway after what had happened to them? Are there really only old people and children?” Mianmian asked curiously.
Wei Wuxian laughed loudly, but his smile showed kindness when he explained, “You will see when we get there. I think they slowly got used to their new life.” He stopped, looked back at Lan Zhan walking behind them on the small path and sighed. “There is one child. A sweetheart, really. He lifts everybody’s spirits with his carefree nature. I think he helped them all a lot to settle down,” he admitted with a soft smile.
Mianmian smiled as well when she tried to imagine it in her head, but then became serious, maybe even sad as she spoke. “Only one child?”
Wei Wuxian shrugged. It was what it was.
“It must be lonely if tbere is no one his own age to play with.”
Wei Wuxian’s smile faded at that. He had thought of it, too, and was pretty sure that was the reason most of the people of their small village let him bother them while working all the time. “He still plays with the toys Lan Zhan had bought him last time,” he told them eventually, his smile returning as he turned around and walked backwards for a bit to observe Lan Zhan. The other had his eyes slightly widened, surprised at the words it seemed. But he didn’t say anything. “He misses brother Rich,” Wei Wuxian added with a teasing grin, but Lan Zhan just hm’ed.
Finally, other people’s voices could be heard when they approached the small self-made village half-way up the mountain. It was completely dark by now, only red lanterns leading the way. Wei Wuxian noticed Mianmian cast a look at Lan Zhan, but wasn’t able to read it. Lan Zhan simply nodded at her wordlessly, but reassuringly. Wei Wuxian remembered the times he had been able to silently communicate with Lan Zhan, no words needed. They had learned to understand each other by looks alone, but that had been a different time. Things changed. People changed. And neither of them were the children they had been, forced to grow up faster than had been good. Wei Wuxian huffed as he reminisced about the unreachable past. Things had been easier back then. Or perhaps it simply was because he hadn’t understood the world or the people stirring its happenings anyway, too young to see behind the curtain.
“Finally. What took you so long?” The voice of a woman shrilled through the darkness as the three stepped into the lights at the entrance of the villlage. Many villagers looked at them with curiosity and uncertainty. Wen Qing was taking quick, long steps towards them, her hair flowing at her back as she moved. When she realized Wei Wuxian had returned with company, she stopped. Her eyes met Lan Zhan’s, hesitant, her face already showing the signs of her closed-off discipline and strictness she brought with herself whenever she was around people she wasn’t familiar with. They greeted each other and Wei Wuxian was relieved to see that it went over with no trouble. Both Lan Zhan and Wen Qing were bound by educated politeness in that way.
When Wen Qing’s gaze wandered to Mianmian, she narrowed her eyes in a suspicious way. Wei Wuxian knew first hand how uncomfortable she was when meeting new people – all of them potential threats to their modest way of living.
“I met them in Yiling,” he quickly explained as he moved close to Wen Qing. “That’s Mianmian.” A pause. What was she? They had barely known each other before. “We studied together in Gusu.”
“I remember having seen you before,” Wen Qing slowly said, took a thorough once-over of Mianmian before nodding and gesturing for Wei Wuxian to give her his bag. “I hope you brought the things I asked for,” she said sternly.
“Of course, of course!” He already started to hand the bag over before he remembered the liquor he had secretly bought. Sweat formed on his forehead as he stammered an excuse of having to go back to his own cave first before quickly rushing off.
Wen Qing looked after him, an unbelieving groan leaving her lips before turning to regard their guests once more. Her eyes lingered on the stranger standing in front of her. “I’m Wen Qing,” she simply introduced herself, not knowing if Wei Wuxian had done it for her beforehand on their way here.
“Miss Wen, we-” Lan Zhan had started, but was rudely interrupted by loud steps followed by panting noises. “I’m back, I’m back. Here you go, all that you had asked for.” Wei Wuxian had returned, finally being able to pass the bag over without the alcohol – the bottles were well hidden in the Demon-subdue cave. The grin he had on his face was more performative than anything else, with a finger he rubbed at his nose for a few seconds and waited.
“Took you long enough,” Wen Qing muttered as she grabbed the bag and turned to leave. Lan Zhan had remained silent, not trying to talk again. Mianmian had been quietly watching on as well, so when Wen Qing headed to take care of her uncle, the others were left standing awkwardly. Their eyes met. A beat passed. Nothing happened.
But while Lan Zhan seemed content to just remain silent, Wei Wuxian finally broke the spell. He had invited them up here, he should take care of them as a good host. “So are you hungry? I can ask Wen Ning for food and we can have a drink or something in my room,” he suggested with a small, hopeful smile. He had gotten used to call the Demon-subdue cave his room in these kind of conversations, making it easier and not seem so out of place and extraordinary.
“Sounds good,” Mianmian agreed happily. She had used most of her time here to observe the people around them. Many of them were eating dinner themselves. An old woman was sitting out on a small wall, a child in her lap that she tried to convince him to eat what she was offering. It was cute, Mianmian realized with a small smile.
Wei Wuxian looked towards Lan Zhan for his agreement or disagreement and was rewarded with a simply nod. An elegant air followed the white figure as he practically flowed towards the cave he must have remembered the way to from last time. Wei Wuxian watched on breathlessly while Mianmian followed with quick steps.
Hopefully, this had been a good idea, Wei Wuxian mused, a small chuckle leaving his lips at the situation presenting in front of him. He had spent so much time alone, here with the people he had rescued, who had tried to show him their gratefulness in full bloom. It was heart-warming to finally feel not as alone as he had felt before, nonetheless he couldn’t help but wonder what had been if he hadn’t left with them. They were a family by name, bound together by an unfathomable, unavoidable fate. Wei Wuxian was the only one that had freely chosen his fate.
The Demon-subdue cave was as chaotic as last time, if not more so, Wei Wuxian belatedly realized as he entered after the other two. Everywhere on the ground, there were lying parts of his experiments, of inventions he had spend his time working on, sometimes successful, sometimes not so much.
“What is all that?” Mianmian asked curiously, her voice light with no trace of suspicion or malice. Lan Zhan’s cold eyes on contrary were cast aside, unable to meet any of them. He was probably trying to discern on what demonic invention Wei Wuxian had worked last and what its intention was.
“Just some stuff I’m working on. For example, this,” he lifted up a small round object out of wood with some engravings already on it and a needle in the middle, “will be a Compass of Evil. It detects malicious creatures and shows you their direction. Cool, huh?” A proud grin had formed on his lips as he presented the object to his two guests. Both had rather impressed expressions, he noticed. Even Lan Zhan’s critically dismissive stare had softened to curiosity for now.
“Hm, but does it work?” Mianmian asked with a smirk at the needle. The whole thing looked like a toy and not like a useful device for cultivators.
“Of course! It just needs some improvement still. I’m not done yet,” Wei Wuxian admitted with a shrug before setting the compass back down, further into the corner so no one were to step on it for now. His cave was home to more than just himself right now after all.
“You can sit there by the way,” he offered with a gesture towards a small table in the middle of his cave. Lan Zhan had already sat down while Mianmian spend her time on her feet to explore the cave a bit more, interested in the details and many things she had never seen before, Wei Wuxian assumed.
He let her, just informing them that he were to get them some food and something to drink. “Fourth uncle made great fruit wine, I’ll bring some of that as well!”