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It was rarely homely like this.
The cool December air seeping in through the partially cracked open window sent pleasant shivers down Jouno’s neck upon contact, carrying the subtle smell of the life outside the confinement of their home into his kitchen in a gentle breeze.
He huffs with an irritated click to his tongue and furrow to his brows, frowning and mentally cursing Tecchou’s mindlessness at the simple instruction to, said and quote, “shut the damn windows to keep the cold out.”
Though, Jouno wasn’t going to tell Tecchou off for it. Not today, at least. Simply because the man was having an...episode, of sorts.
Tecchou had woken up in the morning in their shared bed with his back pressed into Jouno’s chest with loose arms holding him in a sleepy embrace; a habit Jouno would be embarrassed to admit he has.
Under his fingertips splayed over Tecchou’s chest, Jouno felt the lulling beating of his heart pound rampantly in its cage.
Tecchou was exhausted, Jouno had assumed.
It wasn’t the strain from their workload, it wasn’t the strain from his gym routine that he would often rope Jouno into too, it wasn’t even the strain from constantly having to be on the receiving end of Jouno's offhand insults on his casual forgetfulness...
It was just exhaustion from constantly living.
It was apparent when he woke up at his usual ridiculously early hour in the morning, but instead of routinely slipping out from their bed and grumbling a "good morning" in a chaste kiss against Jouno’s temple, he stayed in bed.
He stayed in bed, unmoving, staring at the opposite wall with dreary eyes.
Jouno was pleasantly surprised upon waking up to him in bed, but the second he listened in to the low beating of Tecchou’s heart, he knew something was wrong.
Yet, he didn't question him on it.
Jouno had pressed a kiss between his bare shoulder blades with a lazy smile, revelling in the way a certain kind of warmth spread across Tecchou’s chest—
But it didn't go as far as it usually did.
“G’mornin, stranger.” Jouno whispered with his lips still against Tecchou’s back.
It was an established fact between them that Jouno was an absolute cuddle bug, especially in the morning. It would explain his foul mood every time he woke up with the spot next to him empty and lingering with the scent of Tecchou’s shampoo from his pillowcase.
He was often teased about it in an occasional flurry of silent chuckles and smirks, but Tecchou never said he didn’t like it. In fact, it was one of the reasons he decided to not get out of bed today at all.
Tecchou merely hummed back in greeting, feeling his chest get heavier under an invisible, hollow weight by each second that ticked past.
Jouno’s instinct was practiced: he kissed up his back till the back of his neck, smiled into his hair and mumbled a croaky "I love you" with no expectation of hearing it back. He was satisfied with the gentle squeeze he received on his arm that was still around Tecchou’s naked waist.
He slipped out of bed without questioning Tecchou on his break in routine, but rather proceeded to readjust the shirt that had fallen past one of his shoulders and pulled on a pair of fuzzy socks to keep himself warm.
He had approached Tecchou’s lethargic figure and crouched down in front of him, bringing a warm hand up to his face to trace the distinctive markings under his eye, feeling the man’s lazy gaze linger on his face. He brushed his thumb down his cheek and caressed his lips before dropping his head to steal a gentle kiss, smiling against Tecchou’s mouth and petting his hair in the way he knew would make him melt.
It worked, but just a little.
Jouno had then made breakfast for the both of them, grimacing at himself for adding soy sauce into one of the coffees before taking it to the man who was still in bed.
Despite his apathy, Tecchou managed to get out of bed and do the dishes as Jouno remade their bed and bumped the thermostat up.
They spent the whole day that way, and for once Tecchou wasn’t the one initiating physical affection.
They were sat in their living room, cuddled up under a thick duvet, watching movies and silently enjoying each other’s company. Jouno would occasionally pepper kisses on his temple and jaw and brush his fingers through the thick mess of Tecchou’s hair, wincing when he caught a knot but mumbling an apology right after.
Tecchou didn’t reciprocate. Jouno didn’t mind.
Later, Jouno had told Tecchou that he was setting up a hot bath for him, not explaining why, but silently ordering the man to comply, which he was too exhausted to affirm or deny.
Regardless, Jouno had dragged Tecchou into their bathroom and made him strip and sit in the steaming, bubbly water that sat in the tub while he sat outside of the tub, sleeves rolled back till his elbows in preparation to wash the apathetic man down.
Tecchou scrubbed his own body even when Jouno told him he didn’t need to do it himself. He only sighed under his breath and proceeded to massage shampoo into his greasy scalp, making sure to ease the tension out from his temples and neck by at least a little.
Simultaneously, Jouno kept track of Tecchou’s progressively dropping mood. He would give the man space when he felt that he was aversive and held his hand to his lips when Tecchou’s body would itch for something to hold on to.
He let Tecchou soak in the tub while he let the water drain, instructing the man to wash the remnant soap off his body with the shower head as he walked out of the bathroom to fetch a clean change of clothes for him. He helped him dress into them after he had patted himself dry, bringing him back into their bedroom— but with a chore.
“Tecchou-san, would you mind running to the store to fetch some eggs? We ran out this morning.”
They had not run out of eggs.
In Jouno’s intuition, he thought that Tecchou could use a little bit of fresh air, be it that the fresh air in question bit at his own ears as it slipped past the forlorn, open window, but Tecchou is the kind of person who’d welcome the sting.
He, being his compliant self, did just that and set out for his endeavour of fetching eggs, all in the while Jouno made dinner in his absence.
Which brings him to now, cooking neatly sliced strips of beef to make Tecchou’s personal favourite Sukiyaki dish, which he cooks in the exact amount of soy sauce that he knows he likes and preparing a separate portion for himself in a different pan to suit to his more ordinary liking.
Conveniently, Tecchou takes just as much time as Jouno predicted he would.
A normal walk from their apartment to the grocery store takes at least ten minutes, and Jouno always insisted that Tecchou just drive there instead walking back and forth every time, but Tecchou likes the extra cardio and always brushed off Jouno’s complaints like he never heard them in the first place.
But this time around, Tecchou takes his sweet time in his walk, not giving a rat’s ass about the pinching cold and merely walking with just a coat and a muffler hanging from his neck to keep himself warm.
It gives Jouno enough time to finish up with making dinner, and just when he flicks the stove off, he first hears a racy heartbeat, and then the soft sound of the door clicking open.
He smiles to himself at the familiar scent that tickles his nostrils, padding out of the kitchen to greet the intruder.
And just as Jouno had expected, Tecchou didn’t bring back any eggs.
Tecchou’s eyes widen a bit at the realisation, but he’s quick to be reassured when Jouno grabs the lapels of his coat and pulls him against himself— almost eagerly— to steal a quick, warm kiss.
His chest relaxes at the warmth that radiates off of Jouno’s mouth onto his own colder one, and for the first time that day, he snakes his hand up Jouno’s back to brush his long fingers into his silky, white hair to tuck a few stray strands behind his pierced ear.
His stomach twists when Jouno’s arms wrap around his middle in attempt to warm him up, letting out a soft gasp when his lips trace the line of his jaw and hover under his ear.
“Dinner’s ready.”
He is thankful of Jouno’s pardon to his forgetfulness and dresses out of his coat and scarf, joining his beloved at the table and having a one-sided conversation with him over saké with mostly Jouno talking away about something he’s too spaced out to remember; but he knows Jouno is doing him a deliberate favour to keep him focused on something other than the hollow that he’s been battling with the entire day.
Tecchou insists on doing the dishes and Jouno lets him. He brushes his teeth in the meanwhile and waits for Tecchou to join him in bed so he could finally get some sleep, keeping himself busy by listening to the voice mails— long overdue— in his phone with an irritated frown on his lips.
Eventually, Tecchou does join him in bed, but he doesn’t immediately lie down and demand for Jouno to turn the light he forgot to switch off on his way, but rather traps Jouno under himself by hovering over him by his elbows digging into the duvet next to his head.
His hair creates a wall between their faces as if to shut out the outside world from what they have between themselves, this tranquillity and silent understanding of unsaid words and unfelt emotion that aches both of their hearts if either one of them is in anguish.
He stares at the solemn expression on Jouno’s face with admiring eyes, drinking in the sight of his silver hued hair pooled around his head to frame his face like it’s a painting worth more than any currency could buy, silently staring at the man he fell in love with gratuitous intent.
He cranes his head down to kiss the freckle on his chin, and the barely noticeable scar on his cheek, brushing his lips over the smooth apples of his cheeks and kissing both his eyelids like he knows Jouno loves. He then kisses down the bridge of his nose and finally takes his lips between his own in a kiss so soft that Jouno can’t help the pleased sigh that escapes him.
His fingers tangle in Tecchou’s hair as he smiles into the kiss, pulling his head against himself in relief that, at long last, Tecchou has found it in himself to pick himself back up, even if it’s by a little.
“Thank you.” Tecchou mumbles against his mouth, voice hoarse from barely talking since he woke up. His minty breath fans down Jouno's chin and neck in a pleasant chill, the sincerity in his gaze pricking Jouno's skin in triumph, “I love you so much.”
Tecchou isn’t a man of many words. So for now, in his apathetic daze, that is all he can manage as he flops down against Jouno’s chest and falls asleep not seconds after, holding him as if he were to let go, he would lose all sense of self and collapse.
Jouno chuckles and throws the blanket over their bodies, not bothering with the light anymore since it wasn’t even a personal inconvenience to begin with.
Upon reflex, his fingers brush through Tecchou’s hair again as he feels himself slip into a peaceful slumber, revelling in the therapeutic thumping of Tecchou’s heart that drums between their bodies in a comforting lullaby.
The last thing Jouno remembers before his consciousness escapes him, is Tecchou’s hair catching in the ring on his finger.