Chapter Text
Of all the houses Hosea Matthews has stayed in since joining the gang, Shady Belle isn’t the worst. But it isn’t the best either. His room has four walls and a roof, but outside he can hear the lazy noises of the swamp. Sounds of alligators catching their prey. And a deep fear that Jack will accidentally fall in, and they’ll never see him again.
Sighing at the thought, Hosea closes his book gently before placing it on the nightstand. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, he rubbed his temples idly. Letting his thoughts get to him wouldn't help the gang tomorrow. Not on a big heist as a city bank like Saint Denis's.
Yet, his mind wouldn’t leave him alone.
Deep inside, he could hear the soft protests rumbling. The worry that everything could go wrong in the blink of an eye. After all, there was no telling how big the police force was in a city like Saint Denis. Bigger cities either had too little or too large of a police force. Not to mention with the trail of destruction they had been leaving, he wouldn’t be surprised if the Pinkertons had come to Saint Denis just in case. There were so many large targets fat with money, but some could be easily filtered out.
Sighing, he let his back hit the wall. They couldn’t call the robbery off now. Everyone was far too excited at the idea of how much cash they would be flushed with. Valentine’s bank had given them quite a bit, but Saint Denis’s would give them more. Far more than the measly sum from Valentine’s.
The door to his room opening breaks him from his thoughts. Opening his eyes that had shut, he sees Dutch standing in the doorway. Judging by the panic hidden in his eyes, a barely detectable tremor, and the tightness of his smile, Hosea can already tell why he’s in the room. Dutch has never been able to hide these things from the way he can everyone else. Susan and Arthur can see through Dutch a bit, but not at as well as Hosea can. Dutch is an open book to him most of the time.
Manging his own smile, Hosea gently pats the spot next to him. Dutch seems to ghost over to him before setting himself on the cot where Hosea patted. His lover stares at him for a few passing seconds before burying his face into his neck accompanied by a shuddering breath. Hosea moves his hands from his lap to rub up and down Dutch’s back. A gesture that calms the metaphorical hidden lion in Dutch’s skin.
Idly playing with Dutch’s curl in between back rubs, he waits for Dutch to break the silence that wraps around them. He thinks of their sons and daughter as they sit there. Thinks of Bessie and the love he shared with her. Wonders briefly if the job will go wrong, and he’ll be meeting her sooner than he thought. He was old now and surprised he wasn’t in the ground just yet. Dutch’s voice pauses him from going with that train of thought.
“Hosea, sweet fox,” he mutters, breathe wafting across Hosea’s skin. A shudder nearly leaves him. “I’m worried, darling. I’m so very worried.” Dutch’s hands move from his lap to Hosea’s sides. And he can feel the other man’s grip tighten a bit. “It’s tearing my insides apart. I feel like something bad is going to happen, and I’m scared. So very scared.” Hosea pulls him closer when he hears Dutch muffle a sob.
Cupping Dutch’s cheek, Hosea stares in the eye. “We’ll be fine, Dutch,” he tried to soothe even though he knew he was feeling the same way. But Dutch shook his head firmly.
“No, Hosea…” Dutch placed his hands in Hosea’s. “I keep getting this gut feeling we’re not going to be okay. That this is going to blow up on us. But, the die is cast, and everyone’s so excited about it. How can I tell them we’re calling it off after all this?” Brown eyes gaze towards the door. “All of them would be so crestfallen if I called it off based on merely a gut feeling.”
Humming in agreement, Hosea pulls Dutch closer. He wishes he could soothe everything for him. Wishes he could somehow magically tell that everything is going to be okay for them. That they’ll all make it out of the bank safely. But he can’t when deep down inside he feels the same about the bank. And Dutch is right, the gang would not be pleased after all this work has been put into it. So, he says instead, “Everyone will be okay, Dutch. Our sons and daughter will get out of this, we’ll get out of it.”
No words come from the infamous speaker, and the man pulls Hosea closer to him. A sigh leaving his mouth, Hosea presses kisses to the top of Dutch’s head. He's pretending to not hear the sobs escaping from his lover.
All Hosea can do for him is hold him tight, and pretend that everything is going to be alright. Even if he knows that it won't be.
Morning comes, and Hosea wishes in so many ways it didn’t. There’s a bundle of nerves sitting hot and deep in his stomach. The type of nerves you can’t will away no matter how hard you try. And Hosea tries so very hard to push them from his mind. But in the deepest parts, the nerves stay like a hot brand in his mind. Unwilling to leave him no matter how hard he tries to force them out. He hopes Dutch doesn't notice the slight tenseness he carries this morning.
Leaving his room, he carries his suit up the stairs with him. They may sleep alone in the old house, but everyone knows they’re often by each other’s sides when awake. So, Hosea has no qualms in slipping upstairs and through the doors to Dutch’s room.
There, he finds his lover pulling out coats. A frown on his face as he inspects each one carefully, no doubt trying to look his best like always. Smiling softly, Hosea gently places his suit down on the bed and wraps his arms around Dutch’s neck bringing a smile to his lover’s face. “I always did like the one with the red underside better,” he spoke in his ear about the two coats Dutch had out.
“You do?” Dutch hummed with his wonderful coy smile appearing.
Humming in agreement, Hosea turns Dutch’s head just enough to press a kiss to the other man’s lips. The kiss is filled to the brim with all the little emotions Hosea can’t bring himself to verbalize this morning. However, he knows Dutch will understand the meaning behind the kiss. They've always been able to tell each other messages each kiss. This one is no different from the last.
Pulling away, and regretful he has to, Hosea hummed his agreement. “Very much, big cat.” He cups Dutch’s cheek again to rub it slowly with the pad of his thumb. Dutch leans into the motion closing his eyes briefly. And Hosea lets the moment linger before pulling away again. “Come on, Dutch. As much as I would like to stay like this, we still have a job to do.” His lover exhales closing his eyes before getting up.
Roughly ten minutes later, and they’re both dressed and fussing over the little details in the other’s suit. There are small smiles on their faces as they do, but neither smile matches its owner’s eyes. Both of them are worried, and both of them know the other is worried. And when Hosea is pulled into another tight hug, he knows how deeply worried Dutch truly is.
They’ve hugged each other before jobs, sure, but with the strength Dutch is showing him, Hosea knows it’s a different kind of hug. The hug you give when you’re scared you might not see the other person again. And Hosea wishes he could truly ease Dutch’s mind so he would calm down knowing they would be fine, but he can’t. He doesn’t have the heart to try and lie to Dutch like he did last night.
Slowly moving away from the embrace, Hosea presses another kiss to Dutch’s lips. A kiss, like last night's, filled to the brim with emotions he’s scared to say this morning in fear of accidentally breaking down into tears suddenly.
He’s scared too, in the deepest pits of his mind, but nothing can stop the events from occurring. The gang is in too deep to stop whatever comes next. A sentiment shared by Dutch when they pull away and share one final look before heading downstairs to join the others.
Their hands stayed locked together until they part so Dutch can mount the Count, and Hosea can settle into the seat of the carriage he’s driving in with Abigail. Final shout from Dutch signals for everyone to move, and the robbery, with everything that comes with it, is on.