Chapter Text
Sunday 4th , 7:03 pm, Miss Tanya’s Kitchen
“You gonna cut your hair, boy?”, Ms.Tanya curtly asked at the dinner table. She had her eyes firmly planted on Gerard with a strong look of distaste. It made Gerard tempted to retort with something smart even though he was smarter than that. He’d definitely get smacked for that and he really just wanted to eat his nasty unseasoned chicken in peace.
“No…”, he responded like it was a question. He figures if he plays oblivious she might drop it. My hair? Cut it? Was I supposed to?
“Well you might wanna consider it”, she cooed, giving Gerard the worst case of stank aye he had ever experienced. “Youse gonna start a new school tomorrow, might wanna make a good impression.”
Gerard bit back the urge to roll his eyes. Mikey didn’t. He was rolling his eyes like there was no tomorrow. They both knew deep down that they probably wouldn’t be here for long. They’d been bumping around home from home for five years now, they knew how it went. They’d stay in the house for eight months max before the social worker came and placed them in another one. Nobody really wanted a bunch of teens, especially ones that seemed to attract copious amounts of trouble. Even when their mother first went to jail and Gerard was twelve and Mikey was eight, nobody had wanted to adopt them. They were what workers call ‘a bonded pair’, as in the workers strongly suggested that they be fostered together. That’s fine. People would foster them, but nobody had wanted them permanently. They might not even be eligible for adoption anymore, Gerard doesn’t know about all that technical stuff. All he knows that he has to keep his mouth shut and let things go. You never know what the foster ‘parents’ will do.
The last house they had been in was pretty rough. It was a woman named Trina who had a head of crazy and unruly hair. She had about five other foster kids, picking up on seven checks at the end of the month. Gerard was smart, he knew what was up. The other boys there were all in highschool and very rough. Gerard had some suspicions that some of them had been picking on Mikey, who was a scrawny smart-alec eighth grader at the time. He had filled out a bit more over the summer and filtered what he said more often. He learnt how to shut up real good at that house, the first month he had a new bruise every day. Gerard wanted nothing more than to beat the living hell out of those boys, but Mikey refused to tell him who was doing it.
This house was better, Ms.Tanya actually talked to the boys, unlike Trina, and fed the boys, which was nice. The only thing was that Tanya Marie Versino was this devout Christian who was strongly against anything and everything that Gerard liked. She had been getting at him to cut his hair for about two weeks. She also had this rock-for-brains nineteen year old, Trevor, who was currently suspended from college for the semester. He didn’t really do much but he sure could be a jerk to the boys. Whatever, either he’d be gone soon or they’d be gone soon. They’d survive. They always did. They were also staying in Northern Jersey, which was nice. Come to think of it, Gerard thinks that his grandparents grew up around here. He knew for sure that Helena had sold some artwork to the local businesses. Maybe if he looked hard enough he’d find it. Then gain, maybe not. The world wasn’t too fond of Gerard.
The Way brothers never stayed in one house for long. On their files, it would say ‘Troubled Kid’. Gerard knows all the things he has ever done and isn’t necessarily proud of it. He’s not a deliberite shit head, as in he doesn’t go around looking for trouble, usually trouble comes to him. Kids pick on him and he gets into lots of fights because of it, which leads to lot’s of suspensions. He’s experimented with lots of drugs and his favorite concoction right now is probably Xanax and Vodka. It gets him thinking about a whole lotta nothing a whole lotta quick.
“It’s cause they’re into that music thing”, Trevor added with his mouth full of chicken. He was waving his hand around, making him look like a flailing chicken. “You know, like Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins, the weird stuff”. Gerard eyed Trevor with malice. Trevor looked like the stereotypical jock in every single romantic comedy. Gerard was pretty sure the most out-there thing Trevor had ever listened too was Ace of Base.
Miss.Tanya's face tightened and she kissed her teeth. “I don’t know what you youths are up to these days. I have no clue why you two think having messy hair and ripped jeans are… cool. No music should make you want to look homeless. It just doesn't make any sense to me”, she exclaimed a bit. She gave Gerard one more look before going back to her chicken. Gerard made sure to eat his chicken quickly before washing his plate and heading outside. He kind of felt bad for leaving Mikey there alone, but he really needed to get away.
He pushed open the flimsy door and breathed in a nice gulp of fresh air. It was almost September so the air was warm but crisp. The best kind of air. Gerard dug out his pack of Marlboros and a lighter. It was a nasty habit that he had picked up shortly after his mother was arrested for money laundering. It wasn’t even her money, she was just helping out an old friend. Smoking was the most docile of Gerard’s bad habits that ranged from drinking to club drugs. Drinking wasn’t an everyday thing, it was just a thing to keep his mind off things sometimes. Sometimes he gets memories of his parents screaming at the top of their lungs, he’s father scrambling out the house while his mother throws a beer bottle at his head, narrowly missing before she broke down crying. Sometimes it’s of him hugging his mother as she’s crying wondering how she’s gonna make rent that month. Sometimes it's Gerard and Mikey watching cartoons and hearing a knock on the door before police barge in and arrest their mother right in front of their face. Sometimes he just needed to escape because if he pondered all the things that made him hurt, he just couldn’t handle it.
A lot of times he worried for Mikey. Gerard was older and he remembered a time before the beer and rent issues, back when his family was whole and happy. His grandmother even lived with them until she had to be moved to a home when his mom got hauled in. He was only six when things got bad, Mikey was three. He had no recollection of good times. Mikey had been in the system since he was eight. He never really knew his father nor his mother, not in the way that Gerard had. The occasional calls and visitations have allowed both Gerard and Mikey to form a strong relationship with their mother, but Gerard knew that Mikey had never ever experienced a normal childhood. So Gerard doesn’t say anything when Mikey gets kicked out of classes for back talking teachers or steals Smashing Pumpkin records from record stores. Even when he had to take his vodka money to pay a cab driver and pick Mikey up from the station when Mikey was hanging out with that stupid Tommy kid, he didn’t say anything.
Gerard takes the tramas he has faced and bottles it down into a deep part of his stomach, becoming silent, withdrawn and moody. It only stings occasionally. Gerard knows that Mikey on the other hand is angry but in the silent-till-explosive kind of way. They’re both messed up, but atleast at the end of the day they got each other. They’ll always have each other
Gerard sat on the steps of the front porch, smoking. It wasn’t one of those nice porches, the ones that were wooden and painted with a welcoming white paint that was only slightly chipped and charming. No, you wouldn’t find those nice porches around here. Maybe if you went about two hundred miles down south you’d find that, but right here the porch was cold hard cement. It chafed at the bottom of Gerard’s denim jeans and he knew that if he were to move around too much it’s leave holes in them. Whatever. If Mikey could wear his jeans ripped and grunge then Gerard could totally pull off the look too. Maybe even better than Mikey, he thought with a small smile tugging at his lips.
Gerard wasn’t too keen on starting a new school tomorrow. It’d be his senior year and he didn’t even know if he’d graduate from this highschool. He’d been in four highschools so far, not including this one. He doubted he’d finnish the year out at this one. He inhaled more of the deathly smoke, relishing in how harsh yet comforting it felt against his lungs. Maybe Gerard was more messed up than he gave himself credit for. Everything that killed him made him feel alive.
He didn’t even notice the footsteps until Mikey had plopped down on the steps next to him, huddling close to him. “Hey”, was all he said while staring straight out into the distance. This neighborhood was pretty okay. It was better from where they had lived with their mother and most of the other homes they’d been in. It felt weird. When you're used to having to hold your breath in overgrown, trashed, and dangerous, places you don’t know what to do the second you get to breathe. One time Gerard had even gone to a crack house. One of the kids, Otter, at the previous home had been into the heavy drug scene and took Gerard to one so that Gerard could buy xannies. Being in that house with all that trash and busted furniture just made Gerard feel free in an odd way. Looking back, Otter was probably the only good friend Gerard ever had. Gerard had plenty of acquaintances and buddies he got messed up with, but hardly any real friends. He still had Otter’s email, maybe he could go to a library and see if they had computers he could use.
“Hey”, Gerard said, flicking a little ash. He didn’t look at Mikey but started out in the distance too. It was kind of relaxing. The sun was setting and all the colors had exploded and blended. It was definitely relaxing.
“Can I have a drag?”, Mikey asked. He looked down at the cigarette that Gerard was loosely holding in between his fingers. Gerard noted how young Mikey looked in his baggy sweatshirt and baggy second hand store ripped jeans. The kid would be fourteen in a few weeks, but he’d always be the wide-eyed innocent little brother that Gerard remembered vividly. It was almost disturbing how he changed, how they both changed. They were no longer scared of anything. They were just frustrated, angry, sad, and tired.
Gerard furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head. “You smoke?”. Gerard hadn’t recalled Mikey ever smoking or even mentioning smoking cigarettes. But then again, Mikey did know a lot of cigarette and pot smokers back in his last junior high school. Gerard had seen them all hanging around in the junior high school yard, their baggy clothes and faded eyes. Mikey was a quiet kid but he had this nonchalant manner and snarky sense of humor that made him lot’s of friends. They weren’t usually good friends, but they were friends nonetheless. Gerard couldn’t say the same for himself.
Mikey shrugged and he passed the cigarette to Mikey. Mikey eagerly took it and took a long drag without coughing. This wasn’t his first rodeo. Gerard decided to just light another cigarette up for himself. Mikey could keep that one.
“You excited for your first day of highschool?”Gerard asked with a half smile. He turned to face Mikey and saw him grimace.
“Fuck no”, Mikey cursed. He took another drag. “How about you? What number is this? School number…”
“Five”, Gerard answered with a chuckle. It shouldn’t be funny. It was kind of funny.
“You know what they say, fifth times a charm”, Mikey responded gravely.
“It’s three! It’s third times a charm, you dumb ass”, Gerard laughed. God, that kid could make Gerard laugh. Gerard knew that as long as he had Mikey, he’d be okay. They’d be alright.
“Really”, Mikey asked, looking puzzled. Gerard wondered if Mikey, honest to God, did not know that the saying was ‘third time’s a charm’. This kid would be the death of him. “So, you gonna tag this school too?”.
Gerard and Mikey had this thing where they’d leave their mark wherever they went. It was something that they had started when they were eight and twelve. They had gone to the local hardware store a block from their home, hand in hand, and bought (more like Mikey shoplifted) a bottle of neon green spray paint and a knife. Their aunt had come down to watch the kids while the system found them a foster home so Gerard decided that he needed to make his mark before he left. Gerard took the paint and Mikey took the knife. They went to their respective schools and vandalized some property. Mikey carved his name into his Elementary school desk while Gerard was a bit more elaborate. He tagged his school’s gymnasium wall before leaving the school the next day and being shipped to South Jersey. Maybe they did it to prove to themselves that they were real and mattered, they weren’t just a name in a database. Ever since then it was a downward spiral. Gerard loved graffiti and went tagging frequently.
Gerard smiled. “Duh, I just don’t know when. Maybe when we get wind that they are moving us. That’ll be in like-”
“Put those out!”, the shrill voice of Ms.Tanya interrupted Gerard’s train of thoughts. Both boys jumped a little and turned around. They were faced with an angry Ms.Tanya. “I will not tolerate those cancer sticks in this household. I’ve seen your buds lying around this last month you’ve been here. Do not smoke on the property. It’s disrespectful”, she ranted. After her last blow, she retreated back inside.
“Fuck”.