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Kelly couldn’t breathe. “Is that him? Is that Matt?” There was so much blood.Oh God. Please no. Not Matt.
“Let them do their work.” Boden said. He held Kelly back.
Kelly struggled to get past him. He had to get to Matt. “I want to see him!” He needed to be with him. Matt needed him.
“There’s nothing you can do.” Boden said firmly.
Kelly’s eyes filled with tears. “What are they talking about? Does he have a head injury? How bad is it?” His heart broke at Boden shaking his head.
He should have been with him. He always went with Matt when he went to visit his mom. And he knew how worked up Matt got around Griffin. Was that why he’d gotten into an accident? Because he wasn’t paying attention?
Kelly sank to the floor and put his head in his hands. He couldn’t picture his life without Matt in it. He needed Matt. Nothing made sense without him.
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Kelly had to force himself to hold back tears when he saw how pale and still Matt was in the hospital bed. He took a seat and carefully took Matt’s hand. “I’m here Matty. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
It hadn’t been true the last few months. Even after they mended fences he’d kept his distance. Because he’d had to. Matt knew him better than anyone even Shay. And Matt would have been able to tell that something was going on with him.
He didn’t know what scared him more. The thought that Matt would tell Boden and he’d lose his job. Or the thought of Matt being angry with him. Of Matt being disappointed enough in him that he finally figured out what Kelly had always known.
That his life would be better without Kelly in it. That all Kelly would do was drag him down. That Kelly couldn’t be counted on or trusted. That he was a great firefighter but a terrible man.
But that was going to change. “You deserve a better person than me Matt. So that’s who I’m going to be.” He’d already flushed the pills and talked to Boden. He wasn’t fired yet but he was on leave. Which meant he could be there to take care of Matt while he got better.
He was always going to be there when Matt needed him. Even if Matt never returned his feelings. Matt was his best friend and it was time he started acting like it again.