Work Text:
Don't remember. Don't remember. Don't remember. Don't remember. Wake up.
The moment I opened my eyes I was met with pure white. At first it was just a blank space, like a canvas waiting to be painted, but then it turned into something. Snow. Winter. It was a winter landscape. I took a step forward and felt the snow crunch beneath my feet. The snow covered everything in sight, I couldn't make out anything else.
My name. That's right. I have a name. Hisoka.
Suddenly I could see buildings. I walked forward. The snow looked so fluffy. Fluffy like marshmallows.
Marshmallows. I like marshmallows. They're sweet.
There is a building right in front of me now. It looks old. There is a sign but I can't make out what it says. It looks like a theatre company.
A name appears in my head. Mankai.
I look up again and I can now read the sign. It says Mankai. I enter.
The theatre is small and run down. It doesn't look very special but for some reason I feel a warm feeling being in here. Is this happiness? Did I used to be apart of this company?
I sit down in one of the seats and it squeaks in protest as I do. I peer straight at the stage. A shadowy figure appears like a memory. I see myself on stage. I appear to be acting. I must've been apart of this company after all.
But was it just me?
Another figure appears and begins to interact with the shadow me. I recognise the figure. A name pops into my head. Tsumugi.
I remember.
Tsumugi was the leader of the troupe that I was in. He was really nice but reliable when it counted. He was always so caring towards me.
Another figure appears. This figure is bigger than Tsumugi. Tasuku.
I remember.
Tasuku. He was always annoyed at my for falling asleep everywhere, but that was apparently his way of showing he cared. He wasn't good with words but he always carried me back to bed when I fell asleep on the roadside.
Another figure. Azuma.
I remember.
Azuma was more closed off than the rest but it was because he was scared of being alone. He was a gentle presence and was calming to be around.
Another figure. Alice.
I remember.
He was always so loud and annoying. But he took care of me the most. He always made sure I had marshmallows and always made sure I was awake for practices.
The last figure. Guy.
He was the last to join the troupe. He thought he was unable to feel emotions but he could. He was sometimes a bit awkward but he really did care.
Mankai. Family.
They were my family.
Family.
August and April.
They were also my family.
April was in the company too but August...
A singular snowflake touched my cheek. Wasn't I inside?
When I looked around again I was outside. It was cold outside. I didn't like it here. I wanted to be inside again, with my family. I wanted to feel warmth again. But that was impossible wasn't it?
I don't remember. I don't want to remember. If it means that I won't be with my family anymore then I am scared to remember.
I'm scared to fall asleep.
Hasn't this happened before?
I was broken out of my thoughts.
I remembered.
Outside of the company the six figures stood. All facing each other. Slowly. One by one. They turned and left. There alone staring into the distance, was my lone shadow.
Don't leave.
Don't leave me.
August.
Tsumugi.
Tasuku.
Azuma.
Guy.
Alice.
Please don't leave me.
I don't want to lose my family again.
I don't want to remember.
I don't want to fall asleep.
I could feel wet stain my cheeks. I slowly open my eyes and lift my head from the coffee table in the middle of my apartment. I'm surrounded by empty alcohol bottles. I sigh. That's right. I drank too much and passed out again. I drink to forget but I always fall asleep and remember. I chuckle bitterly while wiping my eyes.
"Family huh?"
I leaned back and looked at the plain white ceiling. Maybe I should recreate the memory loss drug, or maybe I should make what the drug was originally suppose to be. Whatever helps me forget I guess.