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The first flowers Andrew ever gets tattooed are marigolds and purple hyacinths, a collection of them on each arm.
He’s 18 when he meets Kevin Day for the first time. Andrew’s working at Eden’s, a bar downtown, just clearing tables to try and make enough to help Nicky out with the house (him and Aaron had enough money to pay for the entire house alone, but Nicky won’t accept it, so Andrew stops offering and helps him in this way instead). He finds Kevin sitting alone at a corner table, sleeves pushed up enough so Andrew can see the intricate tattoos on his forearms illuminated by the club lights. There’s a tattoo on his cheekbone too, a chess piece (Queen, Andrew thinks he remembers from his minimal chess knowledge) that is just visible with the way his head is tilted.
He must notice Andrew staring instead of taking the very obvious tray of empty drinks in front of him, because he’s asking “why do you keep looking at me like that?” with a smirk that could rival Andrew’s own. It’s like he’s amused by the whole situation, and it sets Andrew on edge.
Andrew almost- almost startles at being caught staring, at the deep and smooth, filled-with-fake-arrogance way the guy talks. Instead, he shrugs and gives the guy his most unimpressed stare. “You got nice tats, that’s all,” he says, raising his voice just high enough to be heard over the music but not enough that the guy wouldn’t have to strain to listen. It’s a fair exchange for unsettling him, Andrew thinks.
The guy smirks even more, leaning closer into Andrew’s space to hear him better or perhaps try and rattle him. “Which one’s your favorite?” he asks, sticking out his arms so Andrew can get a better look. Andrew steps closer, eyes raking over the smooth skin of his forearms. He lingers on the intricate dragon wrapped around his left forearm, over the scales that must’ve taken hours upon hours. Andrew’s eyes trail over to his right forearm, where the lyrics “arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to” are written in a delicate font, lines so clean it looks almost fake. The lyrics are accompanied by vines with flowers weaving through them, and it’s the most interesting thing Andrew’s ever looked at. It’s obviously something personal to the guy, and Andrew finds that leagues more interesting than the dragon, no matter how intricate and amazing it is.
“That one,” Andrew says, gesturing to his right forearm with the lyrics. The guy looks visibly surprised by that one, like Andrew’s choice was not what he expected in the slightest. It’s Andrew’s turn to smirk now, fingers tapping idly on the table separating them. “Surprised?” he asks, despite the fact he already knows the answer.
“Yeah, people normally pick the flashier one,” the guy says honestly, laughing. “I’m Kevin Day,” he finally says, holding his hand out in offering. He’s surprisingly steady, for someone in a bar, and Andrew wonders if he’s even been drinking tonight or if the empty glasses in front of him are from who he’s come here with.
“Andrew Minyard,” Andrew responds, taking Kevin’s hand and shaking firmly. He takes his hand back, and hesitates before asking, “Who’s your artist? I’ve been wanting to get something.”
“It’s actually my mentor right now,” Kevin says, gesturing for Andrew to sit. Andrew takes a look at the bar and sees that they have pretty much everything covered, looks around the club and doesn’t see too many empty glasses piling up, so he chances taking a seat. “I’m an apprentice at the shop down here,” he explains, hands moving in the air as he talks. “They took me on a few months after my 18th birthday, and I’m almost done with my apprenticeship.”
“You any good?” Andrew asks, mirth filling his voice without trying. The smirk is back on his face, and he watches as Kevin adopts one of his own to match.
“Damn good,” Kevin says confidently, pulling out his phone to no doubt show Andrew his work. They spend the next however long going through Kevin’s portfolio, and Andrew can’t help the zing of excitement that runs through him looking at Kevin’s work. It is good -better than good, honestly- and if he has a mentor like the one who did Kevin’s own tattoos, there’s no doubt he’s only going to get better the longer his apprenticeship goes on.
Andrew stands up after he sees Roland signaling for him, and pulls out an old receipt and pen from his apron. He writes his number on it, and hands it off to Kevin. “Call me when you have an opening,” he says, picking up the tray he originally came over for, and sending Kevin a wink as he walks away. He hears Kevin laugh loudly over the club music, and Andrew’s so unusually happy for the rest of his shift that even Roland points it out.
Kevin doesn’t end up calling him for a few months, not until a random Tuesday in April, so long in fact that Andrew almost doesn’t remember who he is when he picks up the phone with a lazy “hello.”
“Hey- I mean, hello, it’s Kevin Day,” Kevin says over the line and Andrew squints to try and place the name. It sounds familiar, and Andrew doesn’t go around giving out his number to just anyone. “From Eden’s,” he continues when Andrew is startlingly silent.
“Kevin Day,” Andrew responds, no particular detectible emotion in his voice but he’s happy to be hearing from him. “What has you calling at this fine hour?” he asks, because it’s early for Andrew (it’s nearly 2pm, but that’s the earliest he’s been awake in weeks, he’s sure).
“I have an opening,” he says, and Andrew can hear the excitement in his voice. “For a tattoo. If you wanna come down and get a consult,” he continues, and Andrew hums.
“I’ll see you in an hour,” Andrew responds, hanging up without bothering to say goodbye. Kevin texts him a “bye, jesus,” that makes Andrew huff out a half laugh. He’s already so comfortable with Andrew in a way people normally never even try to be, it intrigues him.
He makes his way to the tattoo shop, shoving his sunglasses on top of his head as he pushes open the door. “Day,” he calls out when he sees the boy, and Kevin’s head whips up with a wide smile already plastered on his face.
“Andrew!” he says happily, getting up out of his station to greet Andrew at the counter. “You’re late,” he jokes, and Andrew gives him an unimpressed look.
“I’m here now. Consult me, Day,” Andrew responds, waving his hand over his general being. Kevin seems to switch into work mode immediately with those words, a fierce look passing over his face. Focused, Andrew thinks.
“So, what were you thinking about?” Kevin asks, coming out from behind the counter after grabbing a notebook and a pen, gesturing for Andrew to sit on the couch in the front of the shop. He gets comfortable once Andrew is seated, and waits for him to start speaking.
“Purple hyacinths and marigolds, on either forearm,” Andrew says simply, fingers coming up to play with the hem of his armbands almost on instinct. Kevin’s eyes flick down to them curiously, but he doesn’t ask. “A collection of them, either both on both arms or one on each. I’m not picky.”
Kevin huffs out a laugh at that one, and writes down a few notes. “You should be picky, it’s gonna be on you forever. But yeah, I get it,” he says, smiling softly. He taps the pen against his chin, asks plenty more questions to get a good idea of what he’s going to have to draw up, and takes a few pictures for sizing. “Alright, that should be all I need from you,” he finally says, after a good 45 minutes of talking. Andrew checks the time and finds he’s shocked at how fast the minutes passed by. “All that's left is to make your appointment with Alli over there,” Kevin says, jerking a finger in the direction of the girl at the counter behind the computer. She isn’t covered in tattoos like everyone else here, but she does have a few visible ones.
“Thanks,” Andrew says, getting up and stretching after nearly an hour of sitting. He makes his way over to the counter, making his appointment and paying for the down-payment easily. “See you next week,” Andrew calls out before making his way back to his car. He’s jittery with excitement, for the first time in a while. It’s a welcome change from the monotonous apathy he’s been feeling these past few weeks.
The next week goes by fast, surprisingly so between work and texting Kevin, and Andrew’s buzzing by the time Tuesday rolls around. Him and Kevin have been texting back and forth the past week over his tattoos, Kevin sending sketches and progress pictures to update Andrew and get his opinion on things without actually making Andrew come into the shop. When Andrew does actually walk into the shop come Tuesday, he’s greeted by Kevin wrapped around the girl at the front desk- Alli, Kevin called her last time. His arms are snugly around her waist and chin securely perched on her shoulder, and she’s running a hand absentmindedly through his hair as she talks on the phone with a client, presumably. Andrew catches Kevin’s eye and raises an eyebrow, and Kevin shrugs once, unapologetic, before straightening up and ushering Andrew to his station in the back.
“Okay, I’m just gonna need you to take off your armbands and get comfortable in that chair as I sanitize everything,” Kevin instructs, pointing to a small chair off to the side of the big one, and Andrew pauses for a moment. Right. He’d have to take off his armbands for this to work.
“One condition,” Andrew says slowly, staring down Kevin until he meets his eyes. “We don’t talk about what's under them,” he says, voice holding no room for argument. Kevin nods seriously, and goes back to sanitizing as Andrew slips off the bands and shoves them in his jeans pocket.
True to his word, Kevin says nothing about the scars lining Andrew’s arms when he looks over at the movement, but his gaze does linger a beat longer than Andrew would’ve liked. Rationally, Andrew knows he can’t blame Kevin for looking. Rationally, he knows it’s intriguing and downright worrying, but he’s better now. Sort of. Better enough to not add to the scars, and that’s what matters to Andrew. Irrationally, Andrew bristles just a tiny bit and tucks his arms close to his body until Kevin is done setting everything up.
Andrew settles into the chair when Kevin motions for him to, and outstretches his left arm when Kevin grabs the stencil for that arm. They agreed to do his left arm first, and his right arm two days from now, and all the color once the black outlines heal. Kevin drew up something beautiful, two different designs but both with the same vibe so they matched on each arm. Andrew is excited to get started, excited for them to be done and fully healed as well. He trusts Kevin already, weirdly enough, and trusts him to do well on these.
“So the girl at the counter,” Andrew starts, once Kevin’s placed the stencil and they’re waiting the five minutes for it to dry enough to start tattooing over.
“Allison?” Kevin says, like there’s anyone else Andrew could be talking about.
“Yeah,” Andrew says, nodding. “What’s that about?” he asks, because he feels like being nosy for once in his life. Kevin picks up his tattoo gun without answering, positioning Andrew’s arm in the right position, and starting on the first line.
“She’s like, a millionaire, but she still decides to work here. Not sure why,” Kevin responds, tongue sticking out a little in concentration as he traces the stencil with the needle meticulously.
“Hey, stop for a sec,” Andrew says, waiting until Kevin completely stops and pulls away to hit him upside the head with his right hand. “You are a fucking idiot,” he says by way of explanation, and Kevin stares at him, shocked, for all of ten seconds before laughing loudly.
“Fuck you, man,” Kevin responds with a smile, before going back to tattooing. They’re quiet for a while, Kevin getting a full flower done before he pipes up again. “I dunno man, I like to think she’s here for me but we spend so much time together she’s gotta get bored eventually, right? Whatever- point is she makes me really happy. Besides tattooing, what we have is the most stable thing I got,” he says, smile tugging at the corner of his mouth where Andrew can tell he’s trying to fight it down.
“Dude… that’s so fucking gay,” Andrew says after a beat, completely serious.
“Isn’t gay as an insult like, bad now,” Kevin asks, sounding genuinely worried.
“I don’t give a fuck, I’m gay,” Andrew responds, and Kevin lifts the tattoo gun to full body laugh.
“Cool. I made out with my friend Neil like, on the regular until Alli came into the picture,” Kevin says and Andrew rolls his eyes at the weird show of solidarity. Kevin goes back to tattooing and Andrew almost feels bad he’s made him stop so many times, but Kevin doesn’t seem to be getting annoyed by it so he digresses.
It’s quiet after that, the only interruption either coming from other artists coming by to check out Kevin’s work (which makes Andrew a little uncomfortable- all of them seeing his scars, but no one says anything or lingers longer than they should so he calms down after a moment), or Allison coming to take Kevin’s and Andrew’s lunch order, considering Andrew is going to be here for a good part of the afternoon. She offers to pay for it, and Andrew shrugs and lets her without a fight. He falls into a sense of calm, just focusing on the sting of the needle dragging over his skin and the noise around him. Kevin asks him if he’s okay about an hour in, and Andrew just hums his assent.
They take a break to eat, and Andrew lets Kevin and Allison’s conversation wash over him without really listening, unless he’s being asked a direct question.
“What’s with the flowers?” Allison asks, gesturing to Andrew’s loosely wrapped arm that Kevin did just so Andrew could eat. Andrew takes her in slowly. She’s dressed extremely… cute, if Andrew had to describe it, short skirt with a crop top and a cardigan to cover up in the chill of the studio. She looks every bit like the rich girl Kevin outed her as, but it doesn’t bother Andrew like it normally does. Allison just- makes it work.
“I was a gardener in a past life,” Andrew finally responds, seemingly dead serious even though he’s lying through his teeth. He can’t just- explain what the fuck the flowers he chose means to people he barely knows, no matter how much he already trusts Kevin. They were personal and Andrew was never one to open up easily, rather choosing to make it as painful as possible for the other person so they wouldn’t try again.
Allison does nothing more than roll her eyes at Andrew’s answer, continuing to eat and fill the silence with idle chatter. Kevin looks at him curiously for a beat, though, and it sets Andrew more on edge than anything he could’ve possibly verbally said in that moment. He feels open, exposed, vulnerable in a way he’s made sure never happens unless he purposely lets someone in. He doesn’t like it. Andrew keeps his head down for the rest of lunch and decidedly does not answer any more questions.
They go back to tattooing soon enough, and within the next hour they’ve finished the outline of Andrew’s first ever tattoo. It stings marginally, with the way Kevin keeps wiping it to clean it, but it’s not painful in an unbearable way. It’s in that weird pleasure-pain area that Andrew can’t get enough of. It’s like Kevin can tell what Andrew’s thinking just by looking at him, because he laughs and shakes his head in exasperation.
“You did well for a first timer,” Kevin compliments, standing up to stretch and gather the materials he needs to clean the tattoo completely and wrap it up. “Most people squirm and make it almost impossible to do a clean line,” he says, no doubt remembering past clients.
“You’re welcome,” Andrew says, even though Kevin didn’t explicitly thank him. He gives Kevin a snarky smile when Kevin looks at him and rolls his eyes, obediently holding out his arm for Kevin to clean. Kevin wraps the tattoo securely, making sure every part of it is covered, before handing him a small business card with aftercare instructions on it.
“This covers basically everything, but text me if you have any questions that aren’t on there,” Kevin says, giving Andrew a smile. “Just go confirm Thursday with Alli. I’ll see you then.”
“Yeah, see you,” Andrew says, leaving Kevin’s station and going to the front counter to confirm and pay part of what they agreed on for the full color pieces. He says goodbye to Allison as well and walks outside, slipping on his armbands as he walks. It’s a nice day and he called off of work specifically for this, so he spends his time walking around downtown, thinking. He eventually makes his way back to his car, driving back to the house in silence, and decidedly does not sit to hangout with Nicky despite his good mood. He goes up to his room, smokes out the window, and thinks, thinks, thinks.
Purple hyacinths: sorrow; please forgive me. Marigolds: pain and grief.
+
The second time Andrew gets tattooed, it’s three flowers: almond flowers, white heathers, and red poppies.
He’s been fighting with Aaron for the past week, something fucking stupid that Aaron won’t get over. Andrew wants to scream, wants to yell at him for being a fucking idiot once again, but he does nothing more than stare at Aaron apathetically when Aaron rants at him over something or other he’s done wrong now. He doesn’t have the energy to deal with Aaron being petty, but he doesn’t appreciate him forgetting all Andrew’s done for him just so they can be where they are now.
Now- don’t get Andrew wrong. He doesn’t hold it over Aaron’s head like a fucking asshole, make him feel guilty and bad for making Andrew do things to protect them both, because at the end of the day those were Andrew’s decisions he made on his own. He just wished Aaron had a little more gratitude in his tiny, face stealing body. Just a little. It’s all Andrew asks, really.
He texts Kevin one afternoon, mind already whirring with all the possibilities of what he can get tattooed, how he can add to the pieces on his arms already. They’ve healed nicely over the months, and him and Kevin have stayed in contact and seen each other at Eden’s a few times since he finished the pieces. They’re almost- friends, Andrew thinks hesitantly. Friends. What a weird concept for him.
“Three more flowers,” Andrew says at their consultation the following day, fingers tapping impatiently on his thigh. “Almond flowers, white heathers, and red poppies. I want them to fit into the purple hyacinths and marigolds,” he lists off, staring as Kevin jots that down.
“Oh, is my boy finally starting sleeves? ” Kevin asks, voice full of excitement. They purposely planned the last pieces so they would be able to easily turn into a sleeve if need be, if Andrew decided to. He knew it’d be a possibility, so he requested Kevin factor that in before sketching anything out.
“Maybe,” Andrew responds, fingers still tapping rapidly on his thigh. He’s full of pent up energy today for some reason. He gives Kevin a half smile when he whoops at Andrew’s response, and answers all of Kevin’s necessary questions. It’s over sooner than last time thanks to Kevin still having his size references marked down in his notebook.
“I’m gonna start a file on you, if you really think you’re gonna do sleeves,” Kevin says when they’re at the computer setting up his appointment, Allison not in today to do it for him. Andrew shrugs, nodding his confirmation. “Sick. I’ll get to have all your progress pictures in one place,” he says, like this is the best day of his life. It almost makes Andrew smile full out, if not for the weird energy still coursing through him.
They set up the appointment for a few days from then, and Andrew almost bolts out of the tattoo shop in a rush to get rid of everything he’s feeling. The first tattoos were- they meant something important, but these- these were a direct link to showing how much he cared. Not only about Aaron, but in general, and if anyone bothered to try and figure out what the flowers meant- well. He’d be done for, metaphorically. He’d be laid bare and vulnerable for that person to see, always a reminder of how much he felt despite never, ever showing it. It wasn’t something he was taking lightly, not in the slightest.
Kevin texts him while he’s driving around aimlessly, asking if he was alright because of how fast he left earlier, and Andrew types back a quick “I’m fine,” while at a stoplight that has Kevin sending an eye roll emoji in response. Andrew doesn’t understand why that emoji in particular, and he doesn’t particularly care to ask, so he sets his phone back down and waits for the light to turn green. He doesn’t drive back home until late, plenty of hours after he left the shop, so much so that it’s completely dark out by now. He parks in the driveway and goes through the backyard, plopping down in the middle of the grass and pulling out his pack of cigarettes to light one. The lights are still on in the house, which means Nicky is no doubt still awake, and Andrew just hopes he doesn’t come outside to ask what’s going on. Nicky can’t know about how much Andrew cares, even if Andrew knows Nicky is more intuitive than he lets on. He stays outside for a long time, until he’s cold from the night chill, and makes his way back inside wordlessly. He drapes a blanket over Nicky where he fell asleep on the couch, no doubt waiting for Andrew to get back to make sure he was safe, and goes upstairs to sleep.
The day for the tattoo comes sooner than Andrew would’ve liked, weird mood still firmly in place. He figures if he really didn’t want to do this he could’ve just texted Kevin to call it off, pay him for the sketches anyway, and never think about it again but- but something made him want to go through with it. Something made him need to go through with it.
He tries to act as normal as possible while they’re setting up, not moving or resting his arms on anything when Kevin places both stencils down (they’re doing both arms this time around instead of just one, and color when they heal, same as last time). Kevin still seems to pick up on his weird mood anyway, though, and decidedly doesn’t try to start a conversation with Andrew, which he’s infinitely grateful for. Andrew tries not to feel uncomfortable, and rather accept how quickly Kevin is learning to read him.
They start soon enough, and Andrew immediately feels calm. Something about the gun buzzing and the drag of the needle over his skin was enough for his brain to just shut off. He welcomes it readily, and watches Kevin for a while, before tipping his head back and just closing his eyes to focus on the sensations. He hears Allison pop by at some point, hears her excitement over how good the piece looks already, and then she’s gone again. Andrew doesn’t know how long it takes Kevin to finish his left arm, but he’s rousing Andrew out of his peaceful state to readjust everything so he can do the right arm next soon enough.
Before Andrew knows it, they’re finished, and he lets out a jaw cracking yawn over how relaxed he feels for the first time in weeks. His jaw feels looser, and he almost laughs at the memory of the unclench your jaw messages Nicky used to send him throughout the day. He gives Kevin a lazy smile in return for his wide one, and lets him clean over the freshly inked lines and wrap them securely.
“Not even gonna bother with the card this time. You can just text me,” Kevin says, winking at Andrew. Andrew scoffs, and gets up, feeling vaguely dizzy but in a good way. He makes his way to the front, giving Allison a soft hey when she greets him, and pays for the linework Kevin just did.
“You doing alright?” she asks, and Andrew tries not to hate the way she’s starting to be able to read him, too. He shrugs, in his most rare form of honesty yet, and she nods in sympathy. “Here,” Allison says after a beat, and jots down something onto a post-it near the computer. She hands it to Andrew and says, “If you ever need someone to talk to that isn’t Kevin. No judgement, no pity, nothing stupid.”
Andrew looks down to see a neat Allison Reynolds written above her number, and he gives her a thankful smile. “We’ll see. Don’t get offended if I don’t,” he says honestly, and she shrugs in a way Andrew takes to mean that she won’t.
He leaves with a wave goodbye, slips his armbands over the wrapping like he’s made a habit of, and goes back to his car. He sits in the driver's seat for a minute, still holding the post-it securely in his hand, and decides to send Allison a text. He types out this is my number, just in case I do take you up on that offer, and sends it before he can overthink anything at all. He’s home no more than twenty minutes later, and actually decides to hangout with Nicky and Aaron instead of holing himself up in his room for once. Aaron huffs his annoyance over Andrew’s presence, but for the first time since the whole fight started, Andrew doesn’t let it get to him.
They’ll get over this, like they always do.
The coloring session is a much smoother process than the inking, due to Andrew’s improved mood. It’s weird how easily a few lines on his skin improved whatever funk he was in, but it actually did and he’s not taking it for granted. Kevin gives him a wide smile when he sees that Andrew seems more content and less restless this time, and they catch up while Kevin starts on adding color in the confines of the lines. They banter back and forth like usual this time, and Andrew feels completely at peace.
“How’s things going with Allison?” Andrew asks, normally never nosy but somehow always nosy when around Kevin.
“Good,” Kevin says, and Andrew almost thinks that’s all he’s going to get until Kevin finishes a section of color. Then he’s off on a tangent like a runner after hearing the starting gunshot. Andrew pays attention diligently, because he’s not an asshole, and seeing Kevin happy makes him happy in some weird way. Kevin continues on a new section of Andrew’s arm as he talks, and Andrew almost laughs at how expressive Kevin can still be with just his words alone, even when he can’t move his hands to explain things like he usually does.
“I’m glad things are good, man,” Andrew says when Kevin finishes, and almost rolls his eyes when Kevin blushes at that. Like he didn’t just pour his heart out to Andrew and say a bunch of sappy shit without blinking.
“What about you, then? Anyone special?” Kevin asks, and Andrew pauses. He thinks about Roland, and whatever the fuck is going on with that, but it’s not really… special, he decides. Andrew shakes his head, mumbling a “nah, no one,” that has Kevin nodding sagely. “You’ll find someone,” he says, like Andrew is particularly distraught about being alone (he isn’t).
Kevin finishes one arm, and gives them a ten minute break in between that and starting the next one. Andrew wanders around the shop, catching up with Matt, who’s station is right next to Kevin’s. He’s an apprentice now, working under who Kevin was for his apprenticeship, and Andrew’s proud to see how far he’s come since Andrew’s known him. He moves to Renee next, his favorite person in the whole shop, honestly (sorry, Kevin). They’ve gotten exceptionally close since Andrew started coming here, to the point they’ve met up for lunch and such outside of Andrew getting tattoos. It feels nice to have a group of friends, Andrew thinks, even if all of them work at the same place and they only saw him as a client at one point in time. It’s nice to have someone to talk to other than Nicky, or Aaron, or Roland. It’s nice to feel included in something.
The ten minutes are up soon enough, and then Kevin’s sitting Andrew back down to start on the other arm. Andrew decides to zone out for this one instead of holding a conversation, and Kevin respects that. It’s close to an hour and a half later when Kevin finally finishes, and they go through the same process as always.
“Your first ones healed real nice,” Kevin says, holding Andrew’s left hand gently so he can turn his arm by himself. He looks over his own work meticulously, and Andrew raises an eyebrow in question. “Just want to make sure you’re not reacting to the ink or that any lines didn’t blow out. Keep an eye on the red poppies for me, people react to red ink pretty bad,” he explains. Andrew nods and lets Kevin wrap his tattoos, before going and paying for the full thing.
“Next time I’ll see you?” Allison asks Andrew at the front desk, hand coming up to pat Kevin’s head when he wraps his arms around her from behind. Andrew watches Kevin tuck his face into her neck, and shrugs.
“Whenever it feels right,” he says simply, and Allison gives him a smile.
“Text me, we’ll get lunch, then,” she responds, and he nods and tells her he will when he has a day off. Allison seems pleased by that answer and lets him go with a simple wave, still running her fingers through Kevin’s hair with her other hand. Andrew wants to roll his eyes at how gross they are, but finds he can’t quite do that. He’s just happy they’re happy.
He makes sure to take extra care of these tattoos for the next few weeks, not wanting them to get fucked up in any way shape or form. He’s happy to report to Kevin that he has no reaction to the red ink, and goes out to lunch with Allison on his next day off. Him and Aaron somehow make up (meaning, Aaron decides to stop being a whiny asshole and huffing every time Andrew is around, and Andrew stops calling him petty names in his own head) and things are pretty much back to normal for Andrew. He’s content.
Almond flowers: promise. White heathers: protection. Red poppies: sacrifice.
+
The third time Andrew finds himself texting Kevin, he knows exactly what he wants and when he needs it done by. Vervain and oak leaves.
Andrew thinks the world is playing some sick joke on him, having him testify against his abuser in court when he can barely even tell his therapist what happened in full detail; the way he goes straight to apathy and numbness whenever he thinks of talking about it, telling someone what happened to him. His therapist -Bee, lovely lady, light of Andrew’s life- thinks it’s a horrible idea to put him up on the stands and have him testify, but the court does not really care about Andrew nor his mental health, so he decides to just make the whole process easier on everyone and agree to go before any actual fighting can happen. Bee is worried about him, he can tell, and truthfully he’s almost worried for himself, too. He doesn’t really know what the trial is going to bring, what an outcome not in his favor could mean for not only himself but other people too.
He has a short window before he flies out to California to testify (another fucking thing he hates- flying), and Kevin fits him in easily. Andrew doesn’t voice his gratitude, but he knows Kevin can feel it.
They skip the actual in-person consultation this time, Andrew texting Kevin in as many words as he can what he needs and where. Kevin asks questions and gets clarification where need be, and they’re set to start tattooing two days from then. Andrew is on edge, rightfully so, for what feels like ever. Not even the knowledge that he’s getting tattoos, his newest favorite coping mechanism, is enough to calm him down.
Kevin takes one look at him when he walks in to the shop two days later, and immediately his face is full of worry. Andrew doesn’t have the energy to chastise him for worrying about him like he normally would, which seems to worry Kevin even more.
“Dude, what’s going on?” he asks, and Andrew just shakes his head, taking his seat as Kevin gets to work on setting up.
“Gotta go to California for a bit,” Andrew responds, vague as can be but feeling somewhere, deep down, a want to tell Kevin everything. He doesn’t like the feeling, not in the slightest, and he tries to push it as far away as he possibly can and just focus on the sounds around him to ground him in the moment. Kevin seems to accept his answer at face value, either knowing Andrew will shut down if pushed, or an actual acceptance that that’s why Andrew is the way he is right now.
Kevin gets to work on laying the stencils, lining it up with his past tattoos that are now completely healed and blend seamlessly with the first ever ones he got. The marigolds seem to stand out even brighter than usual, and Andrew hates what that makes him feel. Pain and grief, he thinks, how fitting.
It’s a pretty silent affair, even the usual artists staying away this time and leaving Kevin and Andrew in their own little bubble. Kevin hums to himself quietly, a tune Andrew recognizes but can’t place in the moment.
“You know, Alli’s the strongest person I know,” Kevin says after a while of silence, after a considerable amount of linework has been done. Andrew blinks down at Kevin, not knowing where this is coming from but not really objecting to Kevin talking about her, either. “She makes me want to be strong, not only for others but for myself, too,” he says, voice soft and soothing.
Andrew finally understands what Kevin’s getting at.
“You’ve known the whole time, what they mean,” Andrew says, voice devoid of any accusation despite the words. Just a calm acceptance at where he’s ended up, who he’s been trusting to keep his secrets safe this entire time.
“Of course. I got curious after Allison asked and you bullshitted your way through it,” Kevin says, not looking up at Andrew and just continuing to work. “I looked them up that day, and then the other ones before each session we had.”
Andrew hums, appreciating the honesty. He takes a deep breath to try and fight back the rising anxiety of being known and vulnerable. He’s not about to have a panic attack in front of Kevin because of this- he won’t let himself. “You tell anyone else?” he asks, voice rougher than he means for it to be, because he has to ask, because he wants to know if he really can trust Kevin at all.
“Definitely not, though I think Allison is starting to catch on by herself,” he responds, and okay. Andrew can accept that. As long as Kevin didn’t do anything to point Allison in that direction, as long as Kevin isn’t lying about not saying a word, Andrew can accept it. “I know it’s hard, but you can trust me, Andrew,” Kevin says quietly, eyes finally flicking up to look at Andrew for the first time since he started tattooing.
“Yeah,” is all Andrew can manage at the moment, and Kevin gives him a soft smile that makes Andrew feel just a tad better about his whole situation. Just a little.
The tattoos are done way faster this time, even with color, since they’re not taking up a huge amount of space on his arms. That’s why Kevin chose to do all of it in one shot instead of waiting for the linework to heal, knowing Andrew was acting like he didn’t have that kind of time.
He’s cleaned up and wrapped up in the next little bit, and he pulls on his armbands before he even leaves the shop. Kevin doesn’t chastise him like Andrew knows he probably wants to, and Andrew is hesitant to even leave Kevin’s station. Like if he leaves, the bubble will pop and he’ll be back out into the hellscape that his life has become ever since he found out about the trial.
Kevin gives him a once over and sighs heavily, moving closer. “Lemme get one hug?” he asks, knowing Andrew hates unnecessary contact but feeling as if he should hug him, just this once. Andrew shrugs like he doesn’t care, and Kevin narrows his eyes. “Verbal yes and maybe I’ll believe you,” Kevin says and Andrew is taken aback at the explicit permission he wants for just a hug. Andrew weirdly, really appreciates it.
“Yes,” Andrew says, and finds he doesn't really mind being wrapped up in Kevin’s arms once he’s there. He’s big and warm and protective, and just for a fraction of a second Andrew needs that protection. He takes it, tucks it close to his chest, and pulls away before he does something stupid like have a breakdown in one of his best friend’s arms like a little kid.
Kevin waves him off when he tries to pay, and Andrew almost fights him then and there.
“It isn’t pity,” Kevin says immediately, when he sees Andrew gearing up for a fight. “It’s a thank you for being my first ever actual customer, and the one to trust me with doing your sleeves.”
Andrew huffs, mumbling a quick “whatever” to try and tamp down the overwhelming amount of feelings he’s having currently. He says goodbye to everyone in the shop, and leaves quickly so he doesn’t end up losing it then and there. He can do that later, when he’s home, in his room and away from everyone. Not here, not now.
He knows whatever happens next is going to quite literally be Hell, but with Kevin’s artwork on his arms, he thinks he can maybe get through it just a little bit easier.
Vervain: protection against evil. Oak leaf: strength.
+
The fourth time around, Kevin is practically itching to get his hands on Andrew again. It’s been months, months of Andrew being out of it and feeling wired incorrectly, completely not in a good headspace. He wants love-lies-bleeding and yellow carnations this time.
Kevin doesn’t comment on his choice of flowers, but he does tell Andrew he wants him to meet someone. Andrew almost refuses flat out, not wanting any more human contact than strictly necessary, down to the basics as he can get with it (he’s stopped talking to Matt, and barely talks to Allison now, and he feels infinitely guilty, but he just can’t lately. He knows they understand, and that makes it worse somehow). He decides to go with no answer, in the hopes Kevin will take it as a no and not force him to meet someone he doesn’t want to know.
Except, except, the next time he walks into the studio, it's to find Kevin, Allison, and some redhead Andrew has never seen before in his life congregated around the computer Andrew knows has his file with progress pictures on it.
“You better not be showing him my shit, Day,” Andrew warns, and almost revels in the way Kevin startles violently. As if he didn’t hear the bell chime when Andrew walked in. Idiot.
“Fuckin’ wasn’t,” Kevin mumbles, which means he definitely was, and Andrew would laugh, if he was able to at all.
“It’s all super fucking good,” the redhead says, directing his words towards Andrew. “Can I see them up close?” he asks, weirdly hopeful.
“No,” Andrew says flat out, and stays where he is, a few feet away from the group. Kevin sighs, long and loud, and Andrew ignores the flicker of mischief in Allison’s eyes when she looks between all of them.
“Andrew, meet Neil, Neil, meet a particularly grumpy Andrew,” Kevin introduces, waving a hand between them. Andrew crosses his arms, staring at Kevin and completely ignoring Neil. “Listen- fuck, I just wanted you to meet my other best friend for fucks sake!” he exclaims, sounding exasperated beyond belief.
“I never said yes,” Andrew says, raising an eyebrow.
“And he’s a persistent piece of shit,” Kevin says, jerking a finger in Neil’s direction. “Whining like let me meet this Andrew guy, c’mon let me meet him, it’s not fair you know other people I don’t! ” he mocks, and Neil’s expression doesn’t change in the slightest despite the blatant mockery.
“You were the one who begged me this time, if we want to get technical,” Neil responds, completely calm. The look on Kevin’s face is almost worth it, for the way he stares at Neil in horror. Andrew vaguely likes this guy.
“Fuck off,” Kevin mumbles, and motions Andrew over so he can start setting up. “Big one today, you’ll have to come back for color,” he tells him and Andrew shrugs in answer. It didn’t matter to him.
It was one thing to take off his armbands when it was just the usual people in the studio. It was one thing, and had become comfortable but now there’s Neil, hovering around Kevin like a dog with separation anxiety, and Andrew doesn’t exactly know what to do. Kevin seems to notice his hesitation, head cocking to the side as if he was thinking.
“If you’re worried about me seeing scars, I don’t care. I have my own,” Neil says bluntly before Kevin can say anything, and Andrew almost bristles at it. How the fuck did he even know?
“Show me them then, boy wonder,” Andrew says back, voice particularly bored. He doesn’t expect Neil to actually show him them, but then the boy is taking off his shirt in the next second and exposing his especially scarred torso to Andrew. Like it’s nothing, like it means nothing.
“Your turn,” Neil says with a smile, all teeth. As Neil puts his shirt back on, Andrew shrugs, figuring it’s a fair enough trade, and takes off his armbands to shove in his pocket for safe keeping. Neil barely even looks at his scars for more than a cursory glance, before taking the seat next to the chair Andrew gets tattooed in.
“What the fuck?” Kevin asks, voice full of wonder. “Neil, you’re like, fucking magic. I can’t get Andrew to do shit, like, ever,” he says picking up a stencil and lining up Andrew’s arm with it.
“Truth for a truth,” Neil says with a shrug, and Andrew nods in understanding. Those were terms he could get behind- ones that didn’t make him feel too vulnerable, if the other person was also being vulnerable at the same time. Kevin just huffs irritably and continues placing the stencils.
Neil pulls his chair closer before Kevin starts, acting like he’s never seen a tattoo get done before. Andrew knows he has, considering some of Kevin’s stories, but Neil’s watching in fascination despite that. Andrew tries to ignore him the best he can, but he’s talkative.
“Yellow carnations?” he asks, and Andrew just blinks at him. “The flowers,” he clarifies, like he thinks Andrew didn’t understand.
“I know, boy wonder. I just didn’t think your question needed an answer,” Andrew responds slowly, and there was Neil fucking smiling again. Like Andrew was being particularly funny. Andrew feels drained already.
Kevin starts tattooing, and in turn starts up a conversation with Neil as well. Andrew tunes them out for the most part, the pair of them talking about things Andrew doesn’t care to know about nor does he even want to understand. They’re going back and forth playing a remember when- game that doesn’t interest Andrew in the slightest.
“Drew, remember when you winked at me after giving me your number?” Kevin says, laughing softly so as not to jostle the line he’s doing.
“No recollection,” Andrew replies, bored as ever. He ignores the way he feels a little bit better at the nickname, no matter how silly it may be. It was almost like Kevin was reassuring him he was still the Andrew Kevin knew, and not the Andrew he’s felt like lately.
“Neil was dancing with Alli, that night,” Kevin says, and Neil makes a noise like he’s just learned something.
“You! You were who was sitting with Kevin that night!” Neil exclaims, sounding particularly pleased with learning this information. “Kevin wouldn’t tell us who you were.”
This gets a snort out of Andrew, and he takes in the way Kevin’s ears are flushed red. “Care to explain why?” he asks Kevin, finally interested in the conversation, and Kevin looks up to glare at him, no heat to back it up.
“No,” Kevin responds, and Neil laughs long and loud.
“He thought you were hot,” Neil says suddenly, nodding when Kevin stops tattooing completely to shake his head violently. “You absolutely did, don’t even start- Shut up you were barely with Alli at that point!”
“Okay! So I thought Andrew was hot!” Kevin says loudly, turning heads in the tattoo shop from the other artists. Andrew hears Renee laugh, and finds himself smiling despite himself.
“Flattering, but you’re not my type,” Andrew responds, and Kevin grumbles something rude before going back to tattooing.
They fall silent after that, Neil realizing Kevin actually had to get work done instead of just joking around, and Andrew content to sit there and get worked on. He’s warming up to Neil the more the redhead speaks, finding him pretty interesting- more so than even Kevin, which is a feat considering how long they’ve been actual friends at this point. Andrew takes a minute to look at Neil, trace the shapes and contours of his face with his eyes, really study him while he’s so focused on Kevin’s work. If he notices Andrew staring, he doesn’t say anything, or even acknowledge Andrew at all.
Allison comes to join the party after a while, and then the banter starts back up again. Andrew is almost amazed at how expressive Kevin can get while keeping his hand steady, and he starts a personal record in his own head. It takes a lot to beat the double eyebrow raise that screams you’re full of shit, but somehow Kevin manages it. It makes Andrew laugh to himself, and then all attention is on him instantly.
“So what have you been up to,” Allison asks, accusation thick in her tone. She’s faking being bitter about being ignored, Andrew knows, can tell from a mile away.
“Work,” Andrew responds, because that’s really all he has been up to. Besides sleeping for an insane amount of hours (tipping into the unhealthy territory) or seeing Bee, that’s all he really does, lately.
Allison sighs, reaches out to wrap a hand around the tip of his shoe and jostle his foot back and forth. “We miss you when you’re not around,” she says honestly, and Andrew wasn’t expecting that . He clears his throat uncertainly, and nods, mumbling a quick sorry even though under other circumstances, he normally wouldn’t apologize. Something about these people has Andrew wanting to be better, even if he is getting tattoos that directly correlate to how awful he’s been feeling these past few months. Allison waves him off with nothing more than a call, then, and Andrew nods.
Kevin finishes up, and the time seemed to go by faster than usual with all the added people this time around. Andrew gets up to stretch before Kevin wraps him up, and rolls his eyes when Kevin chastises him, not caring in the slightest. He still stands still obediently when Kevin makes him, ensuring the wrap stays secure when he shoves his armbands back over his forearms.
He schedules the coloring session for two weeks in the future, in tune with how his body heals at this point. He knows it’ll be good to go by that point.
Then Allison has the god awful idea to make a group chat. A group chat with the four of them, meaning her, Kevin, Andrew, and Neil. Andrew has never wanted to yell more.
“Can I object,” Andrew deadpans, and the look Allison shoots him is deadly.
“You owe me this for ignoring me,” she reminds, and Andrew frowns. She had a point, as much as he hated to admit. Neil looks almost as miserable as Andrew at the prospect, but he doesn’t say anything in objection. She makes the group chat, sends a message in it, and all three of their phones ping at the same time. It kind of makes Andrew want to die, just a little.
He hates to admit it, but being around them is making him feel better than anything else has at this point. He hates to admit it, but he can see Neil becoming a staple in his life too, as easily as everyone else has. He hates to admit any of this, and pays for his linework almost bitterly. Bitter at having friends, what a loser.
He decides to wait around for Kevin to take lunch, going out with all of them to a restaurant not a far walk away. He doesn’t know why he does- he was mad earlier that Kevin even suggested social interaction, and now here he was doing it willingly. If the smug look on Kevin’s face says anything, he knows as well.
Andrew hates him.
Love-lies-bleeding: hopelessness. Yellow carnation- disdain.
+
Unfortunately for Andrew, Neil has become a staple in his life over the past few months. Unfortunately for Andrew, he’s actually starting to trust the fucker, too. He texts Kevin with two things in mind: lily of the valleys and sunflowers.
“You’re a fucking sap,” Kevin accuses the next time he sees Andrew, smile threatening to split his face in half.
“What the hell are you talking about, Day?” Andrew asks, even though he knows it’s definitely about his flower choice this time. He stretches out on the couch in the front of the shop, knowing he’s way too early and not caring. Renee and Matt aren’t even in the shop yet, that’s how early he is. It’s just him, Kevin, and Allison for now.
“Sunflowers- sunflowers, oh, my boy you’ve gone soft in your old age,” Kevin responds, referencing the fact Andrew’s birthday was last week. “And about my best friend? I can’t believe it.”
“Now you’re just making shit up,” Andrew says, shaking his head slowly. “I never took you for a fucking liar, Kev.”
“Oh, shut up you grinch,” Allison pipes up, joining in on the berate Andrew train, apparently. “The only time you even bother to reply in the group chat is if Neil’s talking.”
Andrew pauses, whips out his phone, and scrolls through the group chat. “Wrong. October 13th at 4:58am Kevin asked something and I replied immediately,” he says, as if that negates any of the other times he didn’t answer either Kevin or Allison and only replied to Neil. “It was 5 in the fucking morning and I answered! Don’t say I don’t do anything for you bastards ever again.”
“It’s fucking November. If you have to scroll that far back, your point holds no weight,” Allison fires back, and Andrew squints at her.
“Fine,” Andrew concedes after a moment, pocketing his phone again and resting back against the arm of the couch. “He’s quite infuriating, though,” he adds, just to futilely try and protect himself at this point.
“You think everyone is infuriating,” Kevin points out, and Andrew shrugs with one shoulder.
“He’s extra infuriating,” Andrew responds, like he’s a middle schooler trying to hide a crush at this point. He doesn’t even have a crush. He’s genuinely just- happy Neil’s in his life now. Fuck. “Fuck you,” he says, to no one in particular.
It makes Kevin laugh, and Allison too, and then Andrew’s laughing as well. It’s ridiculous, the entire conversation, the entire reason Andrew’s even here. Getting tattoos to express his fucking gratitude, or whatever. Most people would just fucking tell the person they’re thankful for them. Not Andrew, apparently.
Renee’s walking through the door within the next 15 minutes, surprised to see Andrew already here but pleasantly so. She reaches out and Andrew holds her hand in greeting, before letting go so she can go set up her station for the day. Kevin calls him over after setting up his own station, and Andrew makes himself comfortable like he owns Kevin’s station and Kevin’s station alone.
“You are infuriating,” Kevin grumbles, shoving Andrew’s legs out of the way so he can get to something that they were blocking. Andrew mockingly grumbles back, and Kevin rolls his eyes. “I take everything back. You and Neil are perfect for each other, go elope and leave me the fuck alone- forever.”
Andrew shrugs, pulling out his phone to text Neil a quick “Kevin thinks we should elope and leave him alone ” that has him receiving six laughing emojis and a ring emoji in quick succession. Andrew hates him.
The process that Andrew has down to a T at this point, he’s convinced he could do it himself starts up, and Andrew huffs as he waits for the stencils to dry, texting Neil every annoying thing Kevin has ever done to him because he knows Kevin is looking over his shoulder. Kevin swats at Andrew’s phone and Andrew gives him a smile, all teeth and full of mischief as he holds his phone just out of reach. “I’ll tell him about Halloween. I’ll do it, Day, and he’ll be so miserable he missed it,” he threatens, reveling in the way Kevin goes pale.
“Fuck off,” Kevin responds, setting up his ink and testing his tattoo gun to make sure the needle was properly set up. “Such a dick, can’t believe I ever thought you were hot, how can anyone think you’re hot,” he mumbles to himself, and it makes Andrew full out laugh, which is rare. Kevin seems to startle at it, and Andrew quiets out of instinct.
“Stop flirting with Neil and let me get started,” Kevin finally says after a few more minutes, and Andrew pockets his phone readily, not even bothering to deny it. Andrew sticks out his arm obediently, and Kevin gets to work quickly.
“So lily of the valleys and sunflowers,” Kevin starts, voice pitched low so it was only audible to Andrew, despite Renee being across the shop and probably not able to hear them that well anyway. “There are a few meanings for these. Which ones is it?”
“Nuh-uh, not giving it up that easily,” Andrew says with a smile, crossing one leg over the other to get more comfortable. His phone buzzes in his pocket but he easily ignores it.
It’s weird, thinking about how far Andrew’s come since the first tattoos he got. How now, trusting Kevin seems as easy as breathing (on a good day, at least), how he’s made this group for himself when prior to this he just felt so alone. It’s almost astounding, to him, how things have panned out in the past year. Bee is proud of him, too, he knows that much, and that alone has him feeling good about the choices he’s made thus far.
“Truth for a truth?” Kevin offers, and Andrew scoffs.
“You’re not Neil,” is all he says in response, smiling widely, and Kevin scowls. He mumbles a quick “Neil gets fucking everything in this house” that has Andrew snorting.
The air is light around them, something happy and calm settling over Andrew as he watches Kevin work. He takes in the way he’s hunched over, eyes close to Andrew’s arm so he can really focus (Andrew just thinks Kevin needs glasses, but he digresses). His tongue peeks out every few minutes, whether to lick over his lips or jut out in concentration, and it's almost cute, if Andrew was capable of thinking anything Kevin did was cute anymore.
“Are we coloring today?” Andrew asks out of the blue, not actually sure if they were.
Kevin hums, probably mentally going over his schedule in his head. “We probably can, I’m free until the evening. If you wanna sit that long,” he says, tacking on the last part with a shrug. He pushes his hair out of his face with his forearm, and gets back to work.
“Sure, why not,” Andrew responds, having nowhere to be today but here. He liked booking tattoo sessions on days he had off from work, just getting to revel in the happy calm feelings he always got from a new piece instead of immediately losing it the second he had to deal with a shitty person at the bar. It was self care, using Bee’s words.
Andrew must’ve fallen asleep without meaning to, because the next time he comes to, Kevin is already coloring in the flowers.
“Christ,” Andrew mumbles, voice groggy with sleep. Kevin huffs out a laugh and shakes his head softly.
“Can’t believe you fell asleep on me, so fucking boring,” Kevin says, yawning in succession with Andrew when he lets out a yawn, covering his mouth with the back of his free hand. “Your arm’s getting pretty full,” he comments after a while, and Andrew hums.
“Gotta make sure I don’t pick big ass flowers like sunflowers again,” Andrew replies. “Don’t start,” he warns, when he sees Kevin gearing up to go on his sunflower rant from earlier. Kevin laughs, shaking his head, and continues working.
By the time Kevin is finished, the sun is starting to set. It’s not that late, but it’s November, which just means everything is generally awful all the time and the sun never wants to stay out for long. Andrew hates it. He gets up once Kevin is done protecting his fresh tattoos, and pays with Allison.
He’s out the door soon enough, tired from sitting all day and not wanting to hang around any longer. He finally checks his phone after hours of not doing so, and finds a few texts from Neil- one replying to his earlier message about Kevin, and two pictures of Neil’s cats that Andrew has come to love over the time of knowing Neil. He hearts them both, and pockets his phone again, extra pep in his step as he walks.
He feels fucking pathetic- but also pathetically happy. He can’t argue with that.
Lily of the valley: returning happiness, trust. Sunflower: adoration, loyalty.
+
Andrew thinks he’s going to lose his fucking mind if he doesn’t do something soon. Jonquil- that’s his next tattoo.
He walks into the tattoo shop, fueled by spite and spite alone. Kevin stares at him blankly, not expecting him considering Andrew didn’t text to tell him he was coming.
“Jonquil, it’s the next one,” Andrew says, feeling something rage through him. He’s- furious for some reason. “And tell your best fucking friend to stop being a tease.” Oh, right. That’s why.
“Did you come all the way here just to say that?” Kevin asks gently, because he knows Andrew is feeling- too much right now. “I have a phone, you know.”
“Fuck you,” Andrew spits, but it lacks any actual heat. “Just- look it up,” he demands, and Kevin raises an eyebrow. It’s the first time Andrew’s directly told him to look up a flower while he’s been in the room, let alone look it up at all. That was normally a Kevin-being-nosy activity while spending long hours working on sketches to send to Andrew. This was Andrew giving Kevin explicit permission to know exactly how he was feeling in the moment.
Kevin looks it up, and a slow smile spreads over his face. “Oh you’re really gone, huh?” he says, and Andrew can’t even find it in him to be mad at the statement, because he is. It ramps up the anger inside him more.
“How soon?” Andrew asks, and Kevin hums as he thinks. Andrew’s foot taps impatiently on the tile floor.
“Tomorrow? I think I’m free all day- yeah,” he says, checking the schedule on the computer just to make sure. “Come in at like, 11, I’ll have it ready.”
“Thanks,” Andrew says, giving Kevin a two-finger salute and immediately walking back out the door of the shop.
He’s back bright and early (because no matter how stable Andrew is, 11am is still early to him) the next morning, and Kevin looks stupidly happy to see him.
“Don’t,” Andrew says, holding up a finger and closing his eyes to take a deep breath before Kevin can even speak. “Okay, fifteen seconds. Go.”
“I just really think he’s gonna figure this one out immediately and when you two get married I’m gonna have to choose between the both of you for best man position and it’s going to be extremely fucking awkward but I’ll do it. I’ll do it because this is amazing and everything I ever hoped when I introduced you two,” Kevin rushes out, taking a deep breath once he’s done talking. Andrew stares at him, and slowly puts his head in his hands.
“I can’t stand this,” Andrew mumbles miserably into his palms, and he can’t tell if he’s referring to Kevin’s words or his own emotions. Kevin is gently guiding him to the back with soft hands on his shoulders, Andrew not looking up once from his hands. He sits, splaying out dramatically, and groans loudly.
“Renee, I’m dying,” he calls out, and she laughs happily.
“You’re not dying, those are called emotions,” she calls back, and Andrew groans again. He hated his friends, well and truly.
Kevin lays the stencils, they wait for it to dry, Kevin starts working. It’s a cycle that just keeps repeating.
“Christmas is coming up,” Kevin mentions offhandedly, going back over a line to darken it up.
“And?” Andrew says, not following in the slightest.
“Make this your Christmas gift to Neil,” Kevin says, like Andrew is being particularly dense.
“Who the fuck do you take me as, Day?” Andrew asks seriously, genuinely concerned Kevin has lost all sense of who Andrew is. Kevin pauses, resumes the next line he was working on, and shrugs. “I’m not fucking- fucking sappy,” Andrew protests.
“Okay, sure,” Kevin says, tone not believing in the slightest. Andrew sputters, for perhaps the first time in his entire life, and wants to kick his legs in frustration like a little kid. All Kevin does is laugh, the fucking bastard. “Think about it, at least,” he says.
Andrew huffs, but he does think about it. Thinks about it all throughout the session, and on his way home with his arms securely wrapped up, all through the next week before Christmas hits.
He fucking hates Kevin Day.
(Neil feels the same way.)
Jonquil: return my affection.
+
Andrew, for once in his life, is extremely happy with how things are going. He has a boyfriend of six months (great!), lots of friends (fantastic!), and his tattoos look fucking cool as shit. It’s then when Neil has to go and do something to really put the icing on the cake. Hydrangea and lavender next, Andrew supposes.
“So what you’re telling me is- you and Neil had sex,” Kevin says, leaning over the shop counter, cupcake in hand.
“Vaguely,” Andrew responds, not looking at Kevin, taking a bite out of his own cupcake.
“So you brought us all dessert to celebrate,” Kevin continues, squinting at Andrew like he’s suspicious.
“He respected my boundaries, Kevin,” Andrew says like he’s in awe, and that's enough to wipe the look off of Kevin’s face.
“Cupcakes are, in fact, in fucking order, then,” Kevin says happily, finally taking a bite out of the one he picked up first. Andrew lets Kevin finish two before he starts to get impatient, ushering Kevin back to his own station like Andrew’s the one who’s about to tattoo Kevin. Kevin laughs, getting to work on cleaning his station as Andrew takes his usual seat while waiting.
“You know, he like- understands me better than anyone,” Andrew says, once he’s settled into the chair and Kevin’s already gotten to work. He almost feels immediately guilty for that one, not wanting to diminish how much Kevin understands him but-
But, then Kevin has to go and be amazing as well and say, “He’s supposed to- he’s your boyfriend. That’s what happens.” Andrew would cry, if he was anyone else.
The actual tattooing process goes by quickly, Kevin going back to the linework-heal-color method for these ones. Andrew hangs around the shop longer than necessary, bothering Matt when he has time off.
“You’re like an annoyingly persistent cat,” Matt tells him seriously, and Andrew just shrugs. He can’t refute that one.
He leaves eventually, and actually doesn’t come back to annoy everyone until the two weeks until his next appointment. He spends those two weeks with Neil- Neil who respects his boundaries (!!!) and calls him the worst pet names he can think of for no reason and lets Andrew baby his cats like they’re his own kids. Overall, Andrew is the happiest he’s ever been. Neil doesn’t even ask to see the new tattoos yet- he knows Andrew liked to keep them hidden until they were fully colored.
And fully colored they become, Kevin working his magic and making the set of them look fucking beautiful like always. It takes a long time this go around, hydrangeas seemingly hard to color, apparently. Andrew doesn’t mind, just revels in the process and lets Kevin work. He doesn’t bother trying to start a conversation, not when Kevin is this focused.
Overall- Andrew is happy, and everyone in his life seems happy for him. It’s all he’s ever really asked for, honestly.
Hydrangea: heartfelt gratitude for being understood. Lavender: happiness, love, devotion, peace.
+
Despite all the happiness Andrew’s been experiencing for months, fall rolls around again and with it comes a lot of- complicated feelings. This time around, he picks a pansy, and brings Aaron along with him.
“You know, you told me you guys had the same face, but I didn’t think you actually did, ” Kevin says, and Andrew stares at him blankly.
“You’ve met Aaron before,” he says slowly, like Kevin doesn’t understand anything. “We’ve been friends for like, a year now. You’ve met him.”
“No the fuck I have not,” Kevin insists, shaking his head vehemently.
“We’ve met. You thought I was Andrew,” Aaron confirms, and Andrew groans so loud it hurts his throat.
“And you just let him think-? ”
“Of course I did, it was fucking hilarious,” Aaron responds, shrugging like someone who has no shame over anything they’ve done. “Learning too much about you and Neil is a small price to pay to fuck with your friends,” he says, like the complete fucking menace he is.
“What the fuck did you even say? ” Andrew says, directing his question towards Kevin. Kevin shrugs cluelessly, not remembering what he says half the time anyway, and Andrew wants to bury himself in sand. He groans again, just for good measure, and gets comfortable in the chair at Kevin’s station.
“Why a pansy?” Aaron asks, and Kevin snorts, thinking Andrew won’t answer.
“Mom,” Andrew responds almost immediately, and Kevin is left gaping.
“Am I the only one who has to figure out shit for myself around here?” Kevin asks, and Andrew nods, smirk firmly fixed in place.
Aaron hums, settling into the chair as Kevin gets started on the outline of the flowers. “It’s just weird,” he says after a while, and Andrew nods in understanding. Kevin’s eyes flick between them, and he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
“Are you doing like, a twin telepathy-therapy session right now?” he asks, completely serious, and Andrew raises an eyebrow.
“Yes,” Aaron responds, lightning quick. Andrew shrugs with the shoulder not attached to the arm being tattooed, too lazy to not agree. Kevin was too gullible for his own good, sometimes, and it was not Andrew’s fault if he believed the shit that came out of his twin’s mouth.
Kevin switches arms after finishing the first one, and Andrew zones out. It’s kind of really fucking weird to be on- good terms with Aaron, especially today of all days. This day every year was just a landmine waiting to be stepped on, always an excuse to get at each other’s throats and start a problem. He knows the whole sibling therapy thing Neil suggested -and that actually happened- probably has a lot to do with it. He sends a quick mental thanks to Bee, and focuses on everything going on around him.
Renee is teaching Matt some technique or another, since his mentor is out for the day. She always explains things so gently, it makes Andrew want to smile. Renee continues to encourage Matt even as he struggles on picking up the concept, Matt’s girlfriend Dan sitting off to the side and watching in interest. Andrew knows Allison is at the front desk, can hear her talking on the phone to someone, but can’t make out the words. Aaron, next to him, scrolling through his phone mindlessly while also taking peeks at Andrew’s progress every few minutes. Everyone around him is a big part of his life in some way (save for Nicky and Neil, who aren’t even here). He stops to think about how out of reach this all seemed to him forever ago.
Andrew’s just feeling weirdly grateful and extremely nostalgic today, that’s all.
Kevin finishes up the linework and lets Andrew get up to stretch and walk around, taking a break himself to no doubt cuddle up to Allison for a few minutes. Andrew goes outside for a cigarette, and is surprised to find Aaron follows.
“Hey,” Aaron says, and Andrew raises an eyebrow as he lights one up. His arm brushes his shirt and he almost hisses at the raw feeling. “It feels good to not fight this year,” he says, candid and honest in a way he never is around Andrew- in a way they just never are around each other.
“Yeah,” Andrew responds, taking a drag and blowing the smoke away from Aaron. “Weird, though,” he admits.
“I mean, yeah,” Aaron says, scuffing his shoe against the pavement and shoving his hands in his front pockets. “Like- she was kinda a piece of shit but-”
“But,” Andrew agrees, nodding. He knows exactly what Aaron’s trying to say. Maybe they are doing some weird twin telepathy-therapy like Kevin suggested. The thought makes Andrew laugh. “Can’t believe you let Kevin think you were me,” he says, voice full of amusement.
“Like I said, it’s funny every fucking time,” Aaron responds, shrugging with his hands still in his pockets. He smiles, and it’s weird to see Aaron so- off guard around Andrew. Andrew has the momentary thought that this is how they were always supposed to be.
Andrew drapes an arm around Aaron’s shoulders, using his other hand to smoke. “Use any of what Kevin said against me or Neil and you’re dead, my dear twin,” he threatens, and pinches Aaron hard when he moves to do the same to Andrew. “Fucker,” he adds, for good measure.
Andrew grounds out the last of his cigarette with his shoe, dragging Aaron back inside by the arm still around his neck, ignoring how sensitive the skin on his forearm is currently. Kevin tsk’s at him, forcing him to let go of Aaron and sitting him back down.
“You are so annoying,” he says seriously, and Andrew does nothing more than shrug and smile. Kevin sits down to get started on coloring in the pansies, and Andrew zones out once more. He’s done soon enough, and Andrew gives Kevin a signature two finger salute once he’s all wrapped up and ready to go.
“Thanks,” Andrew says, for the first time maybe ever. Kevin looks shocked for a moment, but returns it with a quick no problem.
He pays, leaves with Aaron in tow, and has to hide his smile when Aaron asks if Kevin would give him a tattoo at some point, too.
“Fuckin’ ask him yourself,” Andrew says, no heat behind his words. He sends Aaron the necessary contact information, and gets in the car.
Overall, a day that could’ve been much worse, turned out to be not so bad.
Pansies: thoughtfulness, remembrance.
+
Andrew thinks that maybe things like hope are not as bad as his brain made them out to be a few years ago- not the demons that seemed to lurk at every corner. He texts Kevin a simple white tulips, blue iris and waits for the next available time Kevin can take him.
He walks in to the shop that has become home to him over the past two years, somehow more nervous for these tattoos than he has been over any of the ones lining his forearms in a long time. This marked a step- one Bee would be beaming over if she knew what any of Andrew’s tattoos actually meant (he thinks she probably knows a few, like the more recognizable flowers, but not all of them).
This marked growth.
He told Neil before he texted Kevin, about what these flowers meant, and the way Neil had lit up like a kid on Christmas morning was completely worth it for all the anxiety he was feeling right now. He anchors himself in that thought, waves to Kevin lazily when Kevin calls out to him to wait a moment, and strikes up conversation with Allison in the meantime. He pushes through the counter doors when Kevin calls him back, and tries to shake off any residual anxiety he feels.
“Alright?” Kevin asks, looking weirdly proud right now. Andrew shrugs uncomfortably at the blatant care in Kevin’s gaze, slipping off his armbands like it means nothing at this point, and lets Kevin get to work on placing the stencils. “You’re gonna be done soon,” he comments, staring at the space Andrew barely has left to fill.
“You’re not allowed to give me some proud best friend lecture right now,” Andrew finally says, when he can tell Kevin is holding back whatever it is he wants to say. “But you get ten seconds.”
“I’m just really happy for you, dude. It’s been great to watch this all unfold,” Kevin says, not even using up his full ten seconds. Andrew gets the urge to punch him, just for being so fucking sincere.
“Whatever,” Andrew mumbles, trying to fight off the blush of embarrassment at Kevin’s words. They get to tattooing after that, Kevin catching Andrew up on whatever it is he hasn’t through text, and Andrew catching Kevin up in much the same way.
“Wait, so you’re getting a cat- together? ” Kevin asks, already halfway through his left arm. Andrew nods. “You’re like, going to be raising a fucking cat together and me and Alli can’t even keep a plant alive.”
“We’ve kept the other babies alive for long enough, a third won’t be too much trouble,” Andrew says, voice going soft as he talks about Neil’s -now turned their- cats. It’s such a complete 180 from how his life was going when he was 17, 18, it almost has him feeling whiplash. Kevin nods, almost like he understands everything Andrew is saying but also isn’t saying.
“How much would you oppose to being a best man?” Kevin asks, eyes flicking up almost nervously to take in Andrew. Andrew raises an eyebrow and shrugs with one shoulder.
“For you? 100%. For Allison? Not one bit,” he responds, mirth filling his voice, reveling in the way Kevin bristles. Weddings were not exactly Andrew’s style, but for his friends? It'd be alright.
“She asked if I wanted to- you know,” Kevin says softly, like it's a big secret. Knowing Allison, everyone knew she was going to ask (except for Andrew, apparently. He’d have to ask about that later), so Andrew doesn't get why Kevin’s being so secretive.
“And you said?” Andrew prompts.
“Yes, obviously,” Kevin responds, like there's no other answer he would've possibly given, not in ten lifetimes. Andrew gives Kevin a wide, wide smile and even reaches out to ruffle his hair with his free hand for good measure.
“Good for you, man. Don't let Neil anywhere near the planning,” Andrew says genuinely, wanting to laugh at the blush on Kevin’s cheeks and ears. Kevin was so in love with Allison it was insane.
Kevin gets back to work soon enough, and Andrew’s feeling weirdly choked up at how little space there's left on his forearms. He supposes he could just continue up both arms, but he knows deep down this is going to be over soon. It just feels right.
Kevin works, really taking his time with these ones (not that he doesn’t with the others but- Andrew can tell he’s being more meticulous than usual). Andrew waits patiently for Kevin to put the last finishing touches on the flowers, pulling his legs close to his chest when Kevin finishes and goes to clean them off completely.
“Bee’s gonna say I’ve gone soft,” Andrew says, frowning like he always does when Kevin twists his arm uncomfortably to clean the residual ink.
“Going soft is not a bad thing,” Kevin responds genuinely, tsking when Andrew tries to fight him for moving his arm around. “Plus, you’ve been soft since you got those sunflowers two years ago. I have her beat on the revelation.”
“Fuck you,” Andrew says with a soft laugh, uncurling when Kevin is done wrapping him up. “You’re gonna hold that over me until the day I die.”
“That’s my job,” Kevin says, looking at Andrew like he wants to do something stupid (stupid, meaning hug him). Andrew sighs, long and loud, already given up on the prospect of not getting a hug, and wraps his arms around Kevin when the taller man pulls him in close. “Proud of you, stupid bastard.”
“Shut the fuck up or I’ll let Neil plan your entire wedding. Allison likes me, she’d listen,” he says, completely serious even as Kevin smushes Andrew’s face into his chest to shut him up. He appreciates Kevin saying it, though, even if he’d never show it.
He goes to pay once Kevin’s had his fill of hugs, and gives Allison a look. She blinks innocently, like she has no idea why Andrew is looking at her like this, and rings him up for the total.
“You purposely didn’t tell me,” Andrew accuses, handing over his card.
“You would’ve said something, you have no tact nor do you understand the sacredness of secrets,” Allison says simply.
“See if I’ll participate in the wedding at all, now,” Andrew says, taking back his card and not bothering to deny her claims.
“Too late, I got you a suit already,” Allison responds, and Andrew squints at her in annoyance.
“Asshole,” he says, but full of love he rarely has for anyone else. She shrugs, completely nonplussed at the insult, and shoos him out of the shop. He goes, because he actually does have somewhere he needs to be, and leaves with nothing more than a wave in Allison’s direction.
Learning things like self care and self love were never things that came easy to Andrew, but he’s found over the past two years that they have come easier . It’s a step in the right direction, he knows.
White tulips: forgiveness, worthiness. Blue iris: hope.
+
Allison and Kevin get married in June (it’s a lovely affair, and not a smidgen less extravagant than Andrew expected from anything to do with Allison), and next comes July. It’s been two years since the trial, but it feels like a lifetime ago with how different his life is at this point. He’s no less rattled over remembering it, but Andrew decides on dandelions and yarrow to fill in the gaps of his forearms.
He has a session with Bee before his appointment with Kevin, and makes his way there just a little bit nervous over what they might end up talking about today. It’s not that he isn’t ready to talk about things, because over the past two years he’s opened up to Bee enough for her to know the full story, no matter how many little bits and pieces he told at a time. It’s rather the fact that he’s not nervous at all to talk about it that’s unsettling.
“How are things going?” she asks genuinely, taking a sip of her hot chocolate even though it's the middle of summer.
Andrew shrugs, playing with a loose thread on the couch, tucking a leg close to his chest. “It’s been two years,” he says simply, knowing she’ll follow along. “It’s weird. Things are different.”
“But they’re different in a way that means progress, not regression,” Bee reminds gently, knowing Andrew was often bound to thinking one step back was much bigger than just that- one step.
“I guess,” Andrew says with an offhanded shrug, and Bee just gives him a knowing smile.
They don’t really talk about what Andrew thought they would, and the session goes by faster than it normally does. He leaves with a quick see you next week, and walks out to his car, taking it slow to bask in the summer heat.
Andrew drives over to the tattoo shop, feeling lighter than he has in a few days. Kevin greets him happily, and it feels so familiar he finds himself smiling softly. Many things might have changed, but Kevin greeting him like he was genuinely happy to see him every time he did was not one of them.
“Almost there,” Kevin says, for what feels like the tenth time in a row by now. Andrew stares down at his arms, at how he’s barely been wearing his armbands lately because of the ink covering them, and frowns slightly.
“Gonna be weird once it’s over,” he says, just a little on the side of upset. Kevin places stencils around the gaps in the two half sleeves, and hums.
“Not like we’re never gonna talk again,” Kevin responds, somehow hitting the nail of Andrew’s discomfort right on the head. “You’re stuck with me,” he assures, shooting Andrew a smile.
“Joy,” Andrew deadpans, regardless of the reassurance blooming in his chest. He takes his designated seat and Kevin quickly gets to work. It’s a simple affair, considering they’re just filling in the minimal gaps with the small flowers, and they’re onto color within the hour.
“You gonna let me do your legs one day?” Kevin asks, and Andrew stares at him blankly. Kevin frowns, like he’s genuinely upset, and mumbles, “Neil would let me.”
“Go badger him then, I’m not Neil” Andrew responds, stretching after Kevin finishes up the last flower and lets him go.
“You know when you’ll come in for the last of it?” Kevin asks, cleaning up his station as Andrew loiters around. Andrew shrugs.
“My birthday. Keep your schedule open,” he says, like that's not 4 months away. Kevin nods seriously despite it.
“Alli wants to have everyone over this weekend, let me know if you and Neil are coming,” Kevin says as Andrew is walking away to pay, and Andrew waves a hand over his shoulder to let Kevin know he heard.
“I”ll let you know what Neil says,” he calls out before leaving, pushing open the door fully to walk back out into the summer heat.
Healing perhaps wasn’t a bad thing.
Dandelion: overcoming hardship. Yarrow: healing.
+
Andrew stares down at the covered-in-ink skin of his forearms, staring at the two open spots at the top Kevin left for whatever flower Andrew decided to choose. Part of him didn’t ever think he’d genuinely get to this point. He decides on plumerias, and makes sure his appointment is set for the day of his birthday.
“Hey,” Andrew says a few days before the appointment, poking Neil with his foot where he was sitting on the other side of the couch. There’s a cat on Andrew’s chest, one on his stretched out legs, and the other lounging in Neil’s lap. He’s perfectly content. “Wanna come with on my birthday?”
Neil gives him a shocked look, never once having accompanied Andrew to one of his sessions. Sure, there was that one he sat in on in the beginning, but he never was actually invited to one. “Of course,” he says, hand petting lazily over their cat’s stomach. She tries to fight Neil, but he takes it in stride despite her sharp claws and starts petting under her chin instead.
“Cool,” Andrew responds casually. They go back to watching the show Neil put on, and act like Andrew never asked at all.
Neil wakes him up on his 21st birthday with an arm around his waist, a hand in his hair, and a series of kisses around different parts of his face. Andrew grumbles unhappily, arm snaking out from under the cover of his blanket cocoon to push at Neil’s face, all without opening his eyes. Neil just starts kissing his palm instead, hand moving from his hair to wrap around his wrist gently instead to keep it there.
“Happy birthday,” Neil says softly, and Andrew grumbles once again. Neil laughs quietly and Andrew finally opens his eyes enough to get a good look at Neil. He’s fully dressed, which must mean Andrew’s appointment is soon, and that Neil let him sleep in for as long as possible. It’s almost amazing Andrew didn’t wake up earlier, with how much of a light sleeper he is on a normal day, and how he always woke up when Neil got up from bed.
Andrew stretches, letting out a soft noise at the satisfying pops of his spine, and gets up to get ready. They’re out the door no more than fifteen minutes later, Neil holding Andrew’s hand as he drives to the shop. He can tell Kevin’s gone and done something stupid before he even pushes open the door, and gives Neil a look. Neil just shrugs, and Andrew goes in wearing a frown.
“Don’t,” Andrew says the second he opens the door, literally everyone standing around looking happy. Kevin frowns at him, mumbling a “you’re no fun,” and Andrew takes in the way they decorated the shop with party store birthday decorations. “Why are you all ganging up on me, it’s Aaron’s birthday too,” he says, pointing at his twin who looks less than happy to be there.
“We already did the whole birthday thing with him,” Nicky says happily, and that explains Aaron’s look of general distaste. Andrew rolls his eyes, and finally steps further into the shop once he’s certain no one is gonna yell things or do something weird like pop confetti.
“Am I getting tattooed or are you all just going to hover around being annoying?” Andrew asks, and everyone chastises him in some way or another for that comment. He accepts the back hug Neil gives him, and raises an eyebrow at Kevin.
“Okay, yeah, everyone who doesn’t actively need to be here, get out,” he says, and Andrew leans back into Neil’s solid weight behind him. He accepts the birthday wishes and makes Neil hold the cards everyone decided to get him, and shuffles over with Neil still attached to his back when Kevin calls him back.
It feels weird knowing this is the last tattoo set he’s going to get on his sleeves. It’s bittersweet, in a way, and Andrew frowns at everything he’s feeling as he detaches from Neil and gets comfortable. Kevin sets about getting the ink ready, humming absentmindedly to himself as Neil pulls a chair from out of the corner, lacing their fingers together.
"You good?" Neil asks, ever so attentive.
"Yeah." Andrew nods.
“Good,” Neil responds, holding Andrew’s hand until he absolutely has to let go.
The actual tattooing process is nothing special, not anymore, but it feels special because this is the last one. Andrew focuses on everything around him, taking it in one last time, and settles further back into the chair. He doesn’t know how long it takes, but Kevin is cleaning him up and wrapping the last of his tattoos some time later.
“Thank you,” Andrew says seriously, and Kevin just gives him a nod.
Andrew thinks he’s pretty content, honestly.
Plumeria: new beginnings.