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Five times Jeno realized he had weird thoughts about his best friend

Summary:

And the one time Jaemin noticed

Notes:

im so sorry.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

"How do you feel about getting a dog?" Jaemin had said one night, absentmindedly taking swigs on his beer while Jeno and Renjun were diligently working their asses off to make a batch of cookies - they weren't exactly expertises at cooking or baking, and the only one in their friend group who actually knew how to, deemed himself too under the weather to do so today.

 

"Jeno can barely take care of himself and my condo charges animal taxes." Renjun retorted, voice a little strained as he struggled to make butter and sugar come together in a batter. "Why this question all of a sudden?"

 

"I wanna pet a dog."

 

"Then go outside?"

 

"It's too cold."

 

"Couldn't you think of any other way to pet a dog than making your friends adopt one?"

 

"Not really, no."

 

"Try a little harder."

 

"Too lazy for that right now."

 

"Then suck it up, fucker."

 

"Why don't you suck my-"

 

"You two should bang and end this tension already" Jeno helpfully supplied, effectively making both boys shut up.

 

And soon after he was met with a chorus of undignified sounds of protests directed at him.

 

Thing is: Jeno's suggestion wasn't too far off. Among their small friend group, Jaemin was known for solving his life problems with sexual means. Renjun was known for solving his own problems with aggressive ways, which more often than not meant he would use aggressive talking to prove himself right.

 

That combination could work together well in bed if they tried, and Jeno wouldn't be too phazed about it, after all, he was known to ignore most external factors that didn't really concern him.

 

After much complaining from both parts and maybe a little of cookie batter spread across Jeno's cheeks - courtesy of Renjun. Jaemin stands up and pats his back pocket, fishing a pack of cigarette out of it.

 

"Just so you know, Jeno Lee, this right now was outrageous. I'm going out for a smoke and I hope you regret your words."

 

Jeno chuckles, sipping on his wine and looking at Jaemin mischievously over his glass. "Probably not gonna happen." He shoots his trademark half-moons eye smile at Jaemin and watches, bemused, as the boy stumbles on the coffee table and beelines to the balcony, all the while avoiding eye contact with him and mumbling something about a stupid cute face.

 

"I think you suck sometimes." Renjun says once they hear the slide door shut and watch as Jaemin leans over the railing, white smoke swirling over his head slowly soon after. "But I also think that you're right sometimes."

 

"Wait." Jeno glitches, almost choking on his wine, "You- him? Seriously?!"

 

Renjun merely shrugs at him, looking entirely more focused on the batter that refused to work out than willing to indulge Jeno's curiosity. "I mean, I wouldn't oppose to it. Look at him, he seems like a good fuck. Plus, there's a reason why he gets so many people, and I'm ready to bet it's ‘cuz of his dick. Or maybe his mouth, you know."

 

"Suddenly I feel like bleaching my ears."

 

[...]



"There's three kinds of people you shouldn't date in life" Renjun says, head rolling back as he carries on with his wine induced thoughts.

 

Maybe he's a little high too, but everyone in the room is also too out of it to know. 

 

"First, econ students, they're all psycho " he unceremoniously stop and burps, then proceeds "psychopaths. Second, art students, any kind of arts, but specially scenic arts, they're all straight up narcissists who can't do anything but think they're the best, and rant about how some underground… grunge… whatever bullshit is brilliant because of this and that for hours."

 

When Renjun proceeds retelling a story about this one guy whom he went out with once, and how he couldn't stop talking about his trip to Amazonia to connect with himself and mother nature, Jeno has only half a mind to pay attention to him and be a good friend. The other part of his brain is entirely too focused on watching Jaemin take a hit on his blunt, eyes closed and looking lost on another world as he inhales deep. 

 

Somehow, the way the smoke swirls up out from his slightly parted lips has Jeno locked in a trance, an annoying voice at the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Renjun's takes him back to the conversation a couple weeks ago, about how Jaemin looks like he's a good fuck, and suddenly his brain is filled with thoughts about kissing Jaemin, undressing his best friend, crawling above him and having his hands gripping his ass tightly under his pants-

 

"Hey man" two fingers snap him back to reality and Jeno jerks back, heart thrumming - at either being brought back to reality so suddenly or having weird, weird thoughts about his best friend, he doesn't know yet. "Earth to Jeno, I think he's completely hammered, Junnie."

 

"No shit, he's a lightweight and ate a whole magic brownie by himself, I'm surprised he lasted an hour."

 

"Ey!"

 

"Anyways," Jaemin cuts in, taking another hit from his blunt and turning his attention to Renjun, managing to look slightly interested in their conversation for once. Maybe it's the weed doing funny things to him too, Jeno thinks. "What's the third one?"

 

"You." Renjun deadpans. An anticipating silence stretches, and then they're both laughing, loud and boisterous, like Renjun just told the most funny joke ever. "No, but" he wheezes, "but I'm serious, you're not worthy a fucking penny , Na Jaemin."

 

Jeno watched with a lazy smile on his face as Jaemin keeps laughing, slapping his thighs. " I know! " He manages to say between laughter, and Jeno can't help but laugh along, although he doesn't know why, but it feels right to. "I'm a complete asshole!"

 

"I'm sorry for all your flings!"

 

"Me too!"

 

Both Renjun and Jaemin keep laughing, hard, like they're still onto something Jeno was left out, and he can't help but sink further into the beanbag he was seating on. Because for a second, one thought crossed his mind and it left a hot trace behind that Jeno couldn't stop turning and thinking again.

 

A silly thought about how would it be to be with Jaemin. How would he kiss and hold him, if he would be gentle or rough, Jaemin did look like the goofy kind of person who gets serious on business and Jeno felt his knees buckling just imagining it.

 

Suddenly he had a dreading feeling that it wouldn't be a simple fleeting thought, and that Na Jaemin, his best friend, could possibly turn out to be one hell of a headache.

 

[...]



“Why are you such a bore today?”

 

Jeno is suddenly brought back to reality when a cup slams in front of him, not loud enough so that Jeno could hear it over the loud music blasting around him, but close enough that he has to jerk back in order to not have his hand bruised with one nasty cup bruise. He looks back at Chenle then, who looked back at him with a huge pout and questioning eyes.

 

“Sorry, I was just-”

 

“Chenle-ah!” Jisung comes from behind them, draping one arm around each of his friends and giggling like a madman, tipsy beyond his usual Jisung-parameters and slightly more affectionate than he ever is around his friends. “Chenle-ah, you said we would dance all~ night long! Why aren’t you dancing with me?!”

 

“Ya, I’m trying to make Jeno enjoy his night too, it’s not always that we are lucky enough to get him out of his cave"

 

“That’s so not true!” He protests, but it is, in fact, true in the end.

 

Jeno wasn’t exactly the unsocial kind of guy, he had a pretty considerable number of friends and even considered himself extroverted at times, but if there’s one thing anyone could describe him as: is an indoor kind of guy.

 

He likes to think that he’s the human version of a cat, rolling in his bed on day offs, sleeping and eating all day, playing games on his phones and doing nothing else; he doesn’t get tired of it, of course not, there’s plenty of things to do at home and being by yourself is great if you know how to enjoy your own company.

 

But there are some occasions that he drags himself outside for things other than studying and working. Like today, when he accepted Chenle’s last minute invitation to go to a night club without giving  it much thought – it’s been weeks that he’s trying to avoid thinking about a certain someone and having certain thoughts (that aren’t at all unpleasing, but downright weird to think about). Hanging out with friends not related to that someone and having something to drink could help him a little on his pretty hard task of ignoring his own head.

 

Except it doesn’t, because Jeno forgot about one small, very important detail: night clubs are packed with people his age doing things he was trying hard not to think of doing right now. Every corner he looked at there was a couple kissing, or hooking up in ways that could be easily counted as public indecency. 

 

And Jeno couldn’t help but feel even more single with each passing second, listing in his head every pros and cons of downloading tinder, or maybe even downing two shots to lose a bit of his senses and try to end the night kissing someone, even if mildly pretty. He wasn’t in conditions to set the bar too high anyways.

 

“Forget about me, I’m fine, go enjoy your night with Jisung”

 

“No! We came here together, we should enjoy together!” Chenle protests, that obnoxious pout coming back to his face once again and Jeno grimaces because, despite how cringy it is to him, he can’t help but give in to the younger every time he does that, he’s a softie at heart for him.

 

“He’s right hyung! Come with us, let’s dance and drink and take this grumpiness out of your system!” Jisung exclaims between them, and one look at his bright smile has the last string of resilience inside Jeno pulling taught until it breaks, and he sees himself being dragged to the dance floor between hundreds of sweaty bodies and spilled drinks.

 

He lets himself loose, forgets for a minute every single thing that have been running through his mind for the past weeks and dances his worries away, body slamming against others and smiling with strangers he’s never gonna see again. The heat inside that bundle is incredibly high, but the canned vodka he holds is icy cold, so he downs one after another, enjoying the feeling of getting tipsier and tipsier, laughing about everything and nothing at the same time, jamming to songs that suddenly sounds like the best ones he’s ever heard.

 

It’s a great feeling to let himself out of his mind, to float on cloud nine and smash his lips against faceless people, one, two, three, just about anyone with a mouth and enough interest in him, he kisses and doesn’t regret it, in fact, he smiles and kisses again, holding them closer by the back of their head and swinging their bodies together to the hymn of the music.

 

Close to him, he notices Chenle and Jisung having the time of their life as much as him, jumping and dancing together like they’re in their own world, their natural habitat, and Jeno feels incredibly happy about that, to have come with them and allowed himself to have a good time too. 

 

Then he feels a hand sneaking on his shoulder from behind and a body dancing along with him, impossibly close, clearly meaning other intentions than just dancing together or being pushed together by accident because of the crowd. He turns around and faces a man, tall and charming, with warm caramel hair styled up and a smirk on his lips that just yells how confident he is in himself.

 

Jeno is brought back for a second, surprised with how similar this stranger is to Jaemin, from the hair to the way everything in him exhales self-esteem. He shakes those assimilations away though and smiles back at the man, closing the remaining distance between their bodies and swinging their hips together, smiling when the man holds him by the waist, grip slightly tight, yet also gentle, and once again Jeno can’t help but think back on Jaemin, wonder if he would grip his waist like that too, if Jaemin would push him flush against himself and hold him with both hands before diving in for a kiss– 

 

Jeno blinks once, twice, then looks straight at the man in front of him and tells himself that this is not Jaemin and he shouldn’t be thinking about one of his best friends like this, or even in a situation like this. He mentally slaps himself in reprimand, disappointed; he really should get his mind back on track before this becomes impossibly annoying.

 

Either way, Jeno forces his mind to go blank with another swig at his vodka, and turns to the man who now was lowering his head to nip at his neck tentatively, “Kiss me.” he says, and in a second the nameless man turns to him, connecting their mouths in one lewd, hungry kiss without much thought.

 

They move in sync, going with the flow of an edm remix of some popular song Jeno didn’t have half a mind to remember which; in front of him, the guy still holds him with both hands on his waist, going lower within each second, slowly, as if he didn’t want Jeno to notice him. He licks inside his mouth greedily, chasing after him every time Jeno tries to pull back in a tease, bites at his bottom lip and connects their mouths once again, vodka and beer tasting disgusting together but addictive at the same time, Jeno was ready to bet that was the best kiss of the night so far.

 

When they pull away a while later and Jeno opens his eyes everything he sees (past the tricky focus situation he had going on for his eyes) was Na Jaemin smirking down at him and yelling over the music, asking if he wanted to go somewhere private with a voice that wasn’t his, and so Jeno panics, shoving the man away and taking off to somewhere far from that stuffy dance floor. He shoves past people and hurries to any place where he could breathe properly and think , or maybe just oxygenate his brain and realize that he’s finally gone nuts, seeing Na Jaemin in the face of other people.

 

Chenle catches up to him as he leans against a wall and takes deep breaths to calm himself down; he looks entirely confused at the situation and Jeno in all honestly felt too dizzy to explain what’s going on himself, so he stays there, quiet, hunched over and trying his absolute best to make his head stop spinning and avoid ugly puking in the middle of the lobby. 

 

“Hey man, what’s going on? Had too much to drink?”

 

“Yeah, I think… I think drinking and dancing isn’t the best combination after all” they laugh a little, Chenle giving him sympathetics pats on the back. Jisungs comes a while later, water bottle in hand and Jeno refuses, knowing it would just straight up make him puke right now, he rathers call it a night and go back home, take a cold shower and have something for his dizziness.

 

“But the subway is not even open yet, it’s only half past three. Why don’t we go to a McDonald’s and wait for it to open?” If the situation were any other, Jeno would have taken up Jisung's offer without thinking twice.

 

But his mind keeps going back to Jaemin and the man he just kissed and what just fucking happened. And he feels incredibly overwhelmed with everything, so with an apologetic smile he tells both boys that he’ll fetch a cab to go home and they should stay to enjoy the rest of the party, to which they protest but end up giving in.

 

From inside the cab, Jeno waves them goodbye not much later and signals the cab driver to go, finally allowing himself to lay back and relax for the first time since his brain went in overdrive with the situation at the club. He thinks over everything that happened that night and contemplates for a minute longer what just happened a couple minutes ago. He knows it must mean something, he’s just not sure what exactly; maybe he’s just horny, maybe he’s spending too much time with Jaemin lately, maybe that guy just really reminds him of his best friend and his drunk mind came up with something ridiculous for no reason at all.

 

Whatever it may be, Jeno is only sure of one thing: Na Jaemin must get out of his head, one way or another.

 

[...]



It’s one of those days when Jeno allows himself to act on his cat nature, nesting in the bundle of sheets on his bed and lazing all day, diligently doing absolutely nothing – only this time he’s not getting drunk at the end of the day, at least, not before he deals with those weird thoughts inside his head.

 

He has spent an annoying amount of time wondering why he’s acting the way he is, and why it all started with one comment from Renjun that shouldn’t even mean anything to begin with. So far, he’s made little progress and only came to the conclusion that this is really all Renjun’s fault, and also maybe some deities above punishing him for something nasty he did, like eating cookies before they're baked or thrashing the coffee machine at work and running before someone caught him red handed. 

 

Either way, he’s resigned himself that in order to stop thinking about Jaemin, he should just stop seeing him altogether (no Jaemin means no thinking of Jaemin, right?). He’s set on a mission of pretending his best friend doesn’t exist for a while, going as far as to mute him on all social medias and turning off his phone notifications, missing even his mother’s calls and earning an earful when he calls back.

 

It doesn’t work though. He still thinks about Jaemin an awful lot, and even goes as far as calling his name sometimes at the peak of The Moment by accident (he’s very ashamed of it to this day).

 

In no time at all, the idea proved itself pretty useless and Donghyuck, Jaemin’s co-worker and a friend in common between them, makes sure to tell him as much one day when he calls Jeno to ask him to pick up Jaemin’s calls for the love of god , because he can’t stand Jaemin whining about being ignored when he’s trying to work.

 

Not that he’s aware of what’s going on between the two friends, in fact, not even Jaemin is aware of anything whatsoever, but Jeno doesn't see a problem with that and just sets the phone on silent as Donghyuck rants his ass off and he guiltlessly watches another episode of the last drama airing on Netflix.

 

The only problem that comes with ignoring Jaemin, he realizes a little late, is that it means he has no one to annoy on his days off when he’s laying in bed and playing with his phone all day.

 

He tried before, substituting Jaemin for anyone else, but as kind of expected, the situation went more or so like this: Renjun straight up blocked him for an entire day; Jisung always keeps his phone on silent, and he generally takes about an hour to reply to one text, three hours if it's a rant, so he's off the list right away; Chenle is usually too over excited and Jeno gets exhausted of talking to him after a couple hours, completely drained of all social resources inside himself; Donghyuck is a workaholic at heart who never checks his phone on weekdays and saturdays; and basically any other person on his contact list is scratched because Jeno can’t see himself keeping a conversation with them for longer than an hour or two.

 

Okay, and maybe Jeno is a bit biased when it comes to Jaemin and their friendship, but he just can’t help that they have the best time together. It’s natural to them to come together and have each other’s presence in many aspects of their lives, it’s reasonable that Jeno would miss him.

 

Still, when the doorbell rings and Jeno opens it, wrapped in all his warm blanket glory, he can’t help but feel torn between bliss and anger when he sees none other than Na Jaemin on his doorstep, one hand holding a heavy eco bag and a bottle of red wine on the other.

 

He sighs, opening the door further to take a good look at the man in front of him, who looked unfairly good in a simple black hoodie and messy caramel hair.

 

“Lee Jeno! You know how many times you ignored my calls this week?!” Jaemin says in lieu of a greeting, and he looks genuinely upset if the deep frown on his face is anything to go by. A slight pang of guilt shots through Jeno’s heart but he tries his best to ignore it, taking the eco bag from Jaemin’s hands without saying anything and beelining to the kitchen, leaving him to close the door. “You’re not even gonna explain yourself?!”

 

“Can’t a man ignore his phone for a week?”

 

“No, not when it means that said man would be paying his best friend dust , no!” He hears rather than sees a pout forming on Jaemin’s face and sighs again in anticipation. He really should start praying for any deity to give him strength, because dealing with Jaemin in his own current Jaeminiac-denial state sure wasn’t an easy feat.

 

In the end, he quickly gives up on his earlier resolution of ignoring Jaemin. He couldn’t possibly act distant or cold when face to face with him, even less send him away; so instead, he does the next worst decision he could take this week and turns around, dragging his feet and blanket over to his sulking friend, hugging and giving him light pats, as if he were shushing a baby.

 

“There, there, it’s okay now, I promise not to ignore you anymore.” He hears Jaemin huff beside his ear and smiles, seeing as his friend was softening up to him too. Immediately, two arms comes up to wrap around his waist, holding Jeno close.

 

“Next time you pull this shit on me I’ll break into your house and eat all your food, I’ll leave you to starve Lee Jeno.” He sulks, and Jeno can’t help but coo inside.

 

“No, you won’t, you love me too much for that.”

 

Jaemin snorts, smug. “Yeah, you wish.”

 

They stay in that position for a while longer, swaying slightly together from side to side. Jeno finds it comforting to hold Jaemin in his arms like this, unpretentiously, strong smell of cigarette burning his nose but at the same time it’s oddly familiar, something so natural it’s almost Jaemin-esque to him now, it doesn’t even bothers anymore.

 

The silence between them stretches comfortably so and Jeno feels like this isn’t like any other times they just held each other, at least not to him. It feels as if he’s taking another step further into unknown field, walking alone in the dark, and it means something, but he's still not sure what.

 

“I brought food, figured you wouldn’t be willing to cook yourself anything trickier than instant ramyun.” Jaemin pecked his forehead loudly then, stepping out of their hug to go and fumble with the eco bag he brought with him, unaware of Jeno standing in the middle of the small kitchen, eyes lost and deep in thoughts. “There's old kimchi I found in my fridge and some other stuff, so how are we feeling about kimchi jjigae with bean sprout soup today, honey?”

 

Jeno snaps then, shaking his head out of his weirds thoughts once again, smiling back at Jaemin who looked at him waiting for a reply. “I think it sounds delicious. Need a hand cooking?”

 

“Sure, I could use some.” And as Jeno sees Jaemin smiling sweetly at him, eyes sparkling with mischief as always, Jeno thinks he might have an idea of why he’s having weird thoughts recently.





“I ate so much I might just pass out soon” 

 

“Don’t you dare sleep on me after I came all the way to see you”

 

“Ah, I can’t promise”

 

The table has empty bowls scattered all over and the kitchen is a whole disaster Jeno rathers not acknowledge right now, still though, both boys find themselves laying on the second-hand couch in Jeno’s living room, stomachs full and eyes droopy. Jeno curls on top of Jaemin’s right arm, making himself comfortable despite the sounds of protest coming from the older, and turns the TV on.

 

There’s a rerun of a random idol program going on that neither of them find interesting enough, and soon enough they’re settling for an horror movie on Netflix. Jeno enjoys moments like this, when Jaemin combs fingers through his hair absentmindedly while focusing his attention on the movie, it’s comfortable, domestic even, and Jeno finds his mind completely at peace, no weird thoughts or funny feelings.

 

They’re back at point neutral, doing eerily domestic things together and not overthinking anything. Jaemin is an affectionate kind of person at heart despite his struggles with relationships, Jeno has always known that and it never bothered him, it shouldn’t start bothering him now.

 

So that’s why between piercing screams coming from the tv and Jaemin’s gentle fingers massaging his scalp, he buries his face further into the deep, familiar smell of cigarettes mixed with Jaemin’s usual woody cologne, allowing himself to bask on it and fall asleep with his head in silence for a second. 

 

[...]



“I think I wanna bang Jaemin.”

 

Renjun stops stirring his coffee beside him, snorting a laugh right after and Jeno immediately regrets ever saying those words, although at same time he feels like a heavy weight lifted from his shoulder.

 

Some odd sense of freedom comes from letting out annoying thoughts in his head and having someone else to share them with – too bad this someone wasn’t even trying to stifle his laughter at the moment, downright mocking him and well, Jeno always knew he’s keen to making bad decisions.

 

“You say this because he started going to the gym again?”

 

“He what–” images of a sweaty Jaemin wearing sleeveless shirts and lifting weights floods his mind in a second, leading to very dangerous thoughts Jeno probably shouldn’t be having in public. He shakes his head, poorly succeeding in getting rid of them, instead turning to his coffee and trying to hide his blushing cheeks from Renjun. It also doesn’t work. “No! I didn’t even know he– anyway, forget I said anything.”

 

“No, no! Now you have to explain where that came from!” Renjun chimes, placing both their cups down and turning to face Jeno upfront. He hates this already, even more so knowing that Renjun wouldn’t let him live this down even if he cried.

 

“I just… I don’t know, I just can’t stop thinking about doing… it.”

 

“Well, that’s normal I guess, we’re in the middle of finals and there’s not much time for sex really–”

 

“With him.”

 

“Oh. Well.”

 

“Yeah.” Renjun looks at him then, clearly holding back from laughing and Jeno groans. He had many regrets in this, but this conversation right now definitely sits on top of them all. “Don’t laugh! I’ve spent a fucking lot thinking about this and I can’t stand it anymore! Do you have any idea how hard it is to watch him sucking on popsicles now?!”

 

“I can imagine. Just talk it out with him, man, we know Jaemin has no problem sleeping with men so I see no problem.”

 

“I see a problem, remember how he reacted when I said you two should bang?! He probably thinks it’s weird that a close friend has interest in him. We’re basically brothers too, so there’s that…”

 

Renjun sighs deeply, giving Jeno his best unimpressed look. “He reacted that way because we don’t like each other, we just hang out because it’s convenient.”

 

“Don’t say it like that, you two are friends”

 

“We are, but we also disagree about everything. Me and Jaemin sleeping together would look more like wrestling than actual sex.”

 

“Yeah, good point”

 

They sit in silence for a second, sipping on their coffees as Renjun gives Jeno some time to think. Would Jaemin really react different if Jeno asked to sleep with him? In all honesty, Jeno probably wouldn't do that, he feels crippling shame just thinking about it, actually proposing could very easily be the cause of his death, “embarrassment” written in big bold letters on his obituary.

 

Behind them, the bell chimes signaling someone entering the coffee shop, Renjun cranes his neck instantly to look at who the person is and smiles slyly. He nudges Jeno with an elbow and point at the man walking closer to them, none other than Na Jaemin in the flesh and Jeno nearly combusts in his place, turning back around so fast he almost gets whiplash.

 

“What is he doing here?!” He whisper shouts to Renjun, but before the older could give him an answer a mop of caramel hair flops between them in the couch, white pearls on full display in a smile and limbs stretching over his two friends carelessly, earning irritated grunts in return.

 

“Sorry I’m late my friends, finals are a real bitch and I only got out of a two-hour long test now.”

 

Renjun shoves Jaemin’s arm away from him and snorts, looking at Jeno with a shit-eating grin while saying. “It’s fine, we were talking about you just now actually”

 

“Oh really? Did you miss me that much Injunnie?” Jaemin coos, snuggling himself closer to the short man and promptly laughing when he’s once again shoved away. “So much for loving me. Anyway, what were you two talking about?”

 

Renjun was about to respond when Jeno beats him to it, a little to loud maybe, startling both boys, “Nothing! It was nothing important! Aren’t you thirsty, Jaem? Why don’t you go order your death drink?”

 

“Oh, yeah, good call Jen. I’ll be right back boys, don’t miss me too much while I’m gone.”

 

Once Jaemin is up and out of ears range, Jeno drops his smile and turns to Renjun, completely distressed, and he only grows angrier when he sees the absolute smug look the boy has on his face, like he’s enjoying this far too much – which he most certainly is.

 

“What is he doing here?!”

 

“Sorry, I forgot to tell you that I messaged him earlier saying we were going to grab a coffee after today’s finals. Guess he really came in an appropriate time, huh?”

 

You think ?! God, I was just talking about how I want to bed my best friend and suddenly he shows up right after.” Jeno shoves his head on his hands, partly mortified and partly wanting to scream at Renjun for being such an asshole. “God, I wanna die so hard.”

 

“What’s so bad about it Jen? Now you have an opportunity to tell him you want to have sex–”

 

“Jeno wants to have sex with who?”

 

Jeno lets out an undignified shriek at that, jumping in surprise when Jaemin sit beside him, way closer than Jeno would like at the moment and with a smirk on his irritatingly pretty face.

 

“And he’s back!”

 

“Where’s your coffee?” Is the only thing Jeno manages to blurt out when Jaemin looks at Renjun questioningly, noticing that the boy was suspiciously void of any liquid death. “Didn’t you order?”

 

“I asked them to deliver at my table.” Jaemin smiles, waving a small plaque with a green 13 written on it. He places it on the coffee table and leans back on the couch, arm resting naturally over Jeno's shoulder. “So, who is it that you wanna screw, Jen? Maybe I can arrange them for you if it’s someone I know.”

 

“It’s– It’s nothing, don’t worry.”

 

“What do you mean nothing Jeno? You were just telling me how you can’t stop thinking of taking them to bed–”

 

“I wasn’t!” Jeno glares daggers at Renjun, shoving him with his foot when he all but gets a sly wink in return.

 

Jaemin nudges him then, using all of his whining techniques to persuade him (which works with Jeno more often than not). “Ah, c’mon Jeno, why don’t you wanna tell me, I’m your best friend!”

 

“It’s nothing important, please let’s just drop this matter–”

 

“Say, Jaem, don’t you think Jeno is a catch?” Jeno nearly chokes on air at that, face burning hot in a millisecond as he (unadmittedly) waits for the reply.

 

“Absolutely. Look at this face, cute boys are so hard to resist.” Jaemin squishes Jeno cheeks with his hand and Jeno nearly faints at that, too overwhelmed by the onslaught of information going on in this conversation.

 

“S-stop!”

 

“I think so too, and his body is also pretty hot”

 

“Definitely! Have you seen him working out? A true sight for sore eyes, these muscles are so–” Jaemin’s hands touches his arms and squeezes them, strong and warm, and Jeno can feel his mind working overdrive when one of them slides lower to rest on top of his thigh, giving it a light squeeze.

 

“Aahh I have to go now!” Jeno says, prying Jaemin’s hands away from him and standing up, or rather, putting as much distance between him and Jaemin as possible. He can feel his face burning all the way down to his neck and his stomach churning in embarrassment, he definitely can’t take any more of this before he combusts, or worse, do something he really shouldn’t, like believing Jaemin actually pays attention to his muscles. “Sorry, just remembered my mom needed me for something.”

 

“But your mom lives in Incheon…”

 

“Over the internet, we’re facetiming today! Sorry, I really have to go now. Bye!” He stalks off and doesn’t look back once, Renjun and Jaemin’s confused eyes enough to make him steam even more in embarrassment.

 

This was too much, too much for him to handle. Jaemin’s words keep rushing back to him and he really, really doesn’t want to overthink anything, but it’s so hard to when he just heard with his own ears Jaemin calling his body a sight for sore eyes and saying his face was cute.

 

Yep. He definitely can’t do it anymore.

 

[...]



“It’s been so long since you came to the gym with me” Jaemin says, his phrase comes out in between huffs as he works a 7kg haltere in each hand. Jeno was pleasantly surprised that Jaemin could lift that much weight, watching in wonder the guns in his arms shifting within every lifting he does. “What, a couple months?”

 

Jeno sighs dreamily, eyes trained on every movement of those muscles in front of him, his own halteres long forgotten. “Yeah…”

 

In all honesty, Jeno is not even aware of what Jaemin is saying, and he has half a mind to snap sometimes and look away as to not make it too obvious that he’s ogling at Jaemin working out, but otherwise it was a disaster.

 

It was a terrible, terrible idea to accept Jaemin’s invite to work out together, but so tempting at the same time that Jeno found himself saying yes before he could even think rationally. He’s long accepted that he’s interested in his own best friend since the coffee shop episode, and his mind is now half at peace, but still wondering what exactly Jaemin meant that day; was he actually serious about everything he said or just indulging Renjun on his antics?

 

Whatever the answer may be, he relishes in the fact that since then, he’s caught Jaemin sneaking furtive glances at him. Sometimes he deliberately stares, even when Jeno stares back and cocks his head in confusion, Jaemin just keeps on eyeing him silently, until he turns and waltzes away wordlessly; or that one time Jeno caught him staring while chewing on his bottom lip, seemingly lost in his own thoughts but following every move Jeno made.

 

But on top of all that, when Jaemin gets so close to him and he just stares, Jeno can see his eyes dropping to other places, sometimes his lips, and the atmosphere shift dangerously for a second, until a smirk stretches in Jaemin’s lips and he backs away, leaving Jeno breathless and wondering what the fuck is going on?!

 

Looking at him now, Jeno realizes that maybe it wasn’t meaningless Jaemin’s invite to work out together, he belatedly sees that Jaemin is also staring at him through the huge mirror wall in front of them – watching Jeno watch him. And his face heats up again, like it seems to be happening an awful lot recently. 

 

He averts his eyes, coughing, and turns back to his own equipment, “I miss coming to the gym too, can’t have much free time working and studying at the same time, you know how it is.”

 

“Fuck yeah” Jaemin says, dropping his own weights to sit in the equipment in front of Jeno, shamelessly watching him training with a sly smile on his face. “I don’t even have time to see people these days.”

 

Jeno ironically snorts at that, “I bet it must be specially hard for you.”

 

“I’ve been feeling so lonely, Jeno-ah” Jaemin dramatically sighs, placing both hands over his heart and looking entirely pitiful. “Had much time to think about some stuff though”

 

The look Jaemin gives him then couldn’t be described as anything but lascive, and that’s the exact moment Jeno realizes Jaemin knows . For how long or how he found out, it doesn’t matter, he just knows and the loud bang of weights falling when Jeno let his grip slip on the machine holder startles both of them from the moment, like a bucket of cold water that doesn’t really help much on cooling them down.

 

Jeno stammers dumbly, the goddamn smile Jaemin still has on his face extremely unnerving to him “I– uh… Should have done leg day today.” he ends up choking out and Jaemin laughs out loud, standing up once again and going back to his own training.

 

“Yeah, I bet it would be interesting to see you working those thighs, though training arms is also entertaining .”

 

Jeno chokes at that, he really wasn’t expecting to hear Jaemin blatantly admit he came to watch Jeno training, or rather, practically ogle at his body. 

 

“I’m gonna be all sore tomorrow because of this” Jeno says, trying to change the subject back to strictly gym related issues.

 

“I can help you stretch if you want.” Jaemin shoots him a dirty half smile then and Jeno has had enough. He’s not mentally prepared enough for this, and Jaemin is definitely not helping with the way he throws innuendos back and forth.

 

Maybe Renjun would call him an idiot for letting this chance go to waste, but Jeno is by no means capable of returning Jaemin’s attempts at flirting without combusting in shame and turning into a goo of embarrassment.

 

“I-I think I’m gonna go for a run, okay?” 

 

He turns around and beelines for the running machines on the other side of the facility, not before he sees the smug glint in Jaemin’s eyes, and if feels like a great defeat when he just lets him go with an audible chuckle. 

 

It was a terrible idea to come to the gym with Na Jaemin.





“You done with your training?”

 

“Yeah, I had one last series with weights but I’m getting really hungry and I can’t wait to grab some junk food to waste all this work out”

 

Jaemin is sweaty, incredibly so, and Jeno is no far behind, but maybe for other reasons. 

 

After the little stunt Jaemin pulled about an hour before, he ran a little and then came back to finish his training with him. Problem is: Jaemin was training his back. And damn it if Jeno didn’t feel his mouth watering every time he saw Jaemin pulling those weights and all his back muscles shifting deliciously under the white tank top that was starting to cling to his skin with sweat.

 

He had a clear vision of every muscle in this man’s body, plus the bob of his adam’s apple every time Jaemin throws his head back to chug on some water, and if Jeno popped a boner somewhere in between the frenzy of grunts and muscles, well, he blames it completely on Jaemin.

 

“I’m just gonna take a quick shower to take the sweat off and we can go then.” Jeno replies, already grabbing his stuff to head to the showers while Jaemin sat on the tatami floor, trying to get his breath back to normal.

 

“Wait, I’ll come with you.”

 

“Oh… okay”

 

They head on to the showers, and to Jeno’s utter despair, he realizes a little late that it’s an open bath , with several shower heads placed meres three feets apart from one another. He wonders if Jaemin would think it’s too suspicious of him if Jeno uses the shower on the far other side of him, because you see, you can’t really hide a boner when you’re in the shower with the very cause of said boner.

 

“You coming?” Jaemin asks out of nowhere, and it’s only then that Jeno realizes he’s already stripped to his brief and is currently turning on the water, soaking his whole chest.

 

Breathe Jeno, breathe. It’s not the first time you’ve seen Jaemin in his boxers. 

 

But it’s the first time you’re seeing him boxers and has interest in him!

 

He’s in the process of completely losing his shit when Jaemin calls him again, this time sounding a bit concerned, and Jeno snaps out of it, shaking those thoughts away and deciding to just keep a reasonable bro distance from his bro that’s taking a shower.

 

“Hm, so where do you wanna go after this?” Jeno asks once he’s stripped to his briefs too and under the mildly cold water of the shower, he tries to keep it cool (or at least pretend it’s cool) and short, spreading soap on his body the best he can and as fast as possible, he’s diligently avoiding looking to his sides with his eyes closed, and it’s working so far. “I was thinking McDonald’s sounds pretty good right now.”

 

When he makes the mistake of opening his eyes and looking at Jaemin to see if he’s done with his shower, he finds said man looking back at him – in fact, looking somewhere pretty far from his eyes, more precisely to his abs (and Jeno is not one to brag, but he knows he has a nice abs). Jaemin looks up into his eyes, and it’s then that Jeno notices he’s biting down on his lips, one of his hands moving subtly over his boxers, and Jeno loses it.

 

“I– J-Jaemin!” he’s absurdly hot now, and not necessarily because of arousal (although it is also because of that), while Jaemin just chuckles at him and turns his body completely in his direction, shameless as Jeno always knew him to be. And he was still holding his godforsaken dick over his briefs!

 

“You know, I didn’t lie that day, Jeno.” He says, his deep voice bounces on the walls of the empty shower and Jeno feels overwhelmed with it already, “You really are a sight for sore eyes.”

 

Jeno stammers big time and fumbles around, unsure of what he should say or do. He’s short circuiting right there and Jaemin is still chuckling at his antics. Jeno notices how the wet briefs cling to every shape in Jaemin’s body, outlining his dick perfectly and it nearly knocks the air out of his lungs, seeing as Jaemin kept tugging at it slowly whilst seizing him down.

 

“I, um… I don’t know what to say right now” he awkwardly chokes out. Of course Jeno knows what he wants to do, but that’s strictly public indecency and he’d rather not getting caught doing it in a gym shower.

 

Jaemin turns his shower off and walks closer to him, slipping under the water of Jeno’s shower and backing him up against the cold tiles on the wall.

 

“You don’t really need to say much.”

 

Jaemin! ” Jeno squeaks, “anyone could walk in on us at any minute!”

 

“This doesn’t sound like a no to me”

 

“It’s a not here , not now! ” Jaemin eyes him for a second with something dark in his eyes, serious, and Jeno all but nearly faints under his heavy gaze. A second later, he sees a smile stretching on the younger’s lips and he backs away, walking out of the bath area like he didn’t just turn Jeno’s legs into actual jellies.

 

“That works for me." Jaemin backs off and waltz out of the bath area. "C’mon Jeno, let’s go eat, I’m starving!” He shouts over his shoulder and Jeno curses loudly, heart beating erratically under his hand, breath uneven.

 

The things Na Jaemin makes him feel are surreal.

 

[...]



“Have you ever thought about quit smoking?”

 

The chilly autumn air blows past him, cold and merciless, making Jeno shiver inside his jacket. He really should have checked the forecast before going out in a simple black tee and denim jacket; in fact, he should have thought twice when Jaemin asked him to keep him company outside while he smokes and let the fucker suffer by himself.

 

But he’s too much of a good friend for that.

 

“I actually tried once.” Jaemin says after he lights a cigarette and blows the first drag to the opposite direction of Jeno. “For half a day. Gave up. Terrible decision.”

 

“Terrible decision is to start smoking, I bet your lungs are worse than your grades right now.”

 

Jaemin hisses, waving his hands in the air. “Well, I blame it on capitalism, it’s their fault for making this shit so addictive.”

 

“I mean, yeah. That’s valid I guess.”

 

They fall in a comfortable silence while Jaemin takes slow drags and checks the latest news on his phone. Jeno on the other hand, is trying his hardest (and failing) to stop quivering like a leaf under the harsh cold wind that blows through him; he really wishes Jaemin wasn’t a smoker right now, so then they could still be inside the cosy, warm walls of the bar drinking and enjoying some flaming hot fried chicken.

 

“You cold?” Jaemin asks when he notices Jeno still shaking beside him.

 

“You think?”

 

Jaemin snorts, turning his way and opening his own oversized coat, wordlessly welcoming Jeno to share his warmth with him – which Jeno promptly accepts, hugging Jaemin and snuggling as close to him as possible. Jaemin was basically a living furnace, a great company to Jeno during winter, when he has all the excuses to keep himself balled up against him while they watch series under the blanket.

 

Jaemin closes the jacket behind Jeno’s back and hugs him closer as well, swaying their bodies lightly. “Next time check the forecast before leaving your house.”

 

“Yes, mother. Should I bring an umbrella too?”

 

“You always should carry an umbrella with you, they’re great to swing at creeps who try to do things like this to you.” Without a warning, Jaemin slips one hand down and grips Jeno’s butt tightly, making the boy yelp in surprise and jump in Jaemin’s hold.

 

“Jaemin! Stop touching my ass!” 

 

“Nah, I think I’m good like this” Jeno keeps trying to slap Jaemin’s hand away from his ass, but when the other all but squeezes it harder, he gives up and slumps against his broad chest – it’s not like he hated it anyway. “Hm, stopped complaining I see.”

 

Jeno let out muffled grumbles, hiding his face further on Jaemin’s neck, trying solely to focus on heating himself. “Shut up. Can you finish smoking already, my beer is getting warm back inside. Warmer than I am!”

 

Jaemin laughs and Jeno can feel the way it rumbles against his own chest oh, so clearly, and if it sends butterflies in a frenzy inside his stomach, it’s no one’s business but his own. 

 

Jaemin takes another drag above his head and looks down at him, deep inside Jeno’s eyes, with nothing but mischievousness and a hint of something that Jeno can’t quite put his finger on.

 

“You’re so cute.”

 

“Stop…” He watches as Jaemin blows the smoke above their heads with something akin to adoration, and when Jaemin looks back at him, he finds himself locked in a trance, shifting his gaze between his eyes and lips unashamed. Screw shame, Jaemin looks so hot when he smokes Jeno would even be willing to go down on his knees in the middle of the street for him.

 

“I can’t resist when you look at me like that”

 

“What…”

 

Before Jeno knows, Jaemin cradles his face and leans down to catch his mouth on his own, in a mere touch of lips, that soon after Jeno processes what’s really happening, turns into a full blown kiss. Their teeths clash together here and then and Jaemin licks inside Jeno’s mouth greedily, making his knees go weak. The fact that they’re sharing such an intimate kiss, lewd and loud even, in the middle of the street is the last thing that passes through his mind as it sinks in that Na fucking Jaemin is kissing him!

 

And it’s everything Jeno ever dreamed of in all these months of wondering what it would be like to have Jaemin doing these things to him. Their mouths move in sync and the whine Jeno lets out is nothing short on satisfaction, because like hell Jaemin wasn’t the best kisser Jeno have ever met.

 

He reluctantly let go when Jaemin backs way just a bit to give him a once over, lips red and slick, looking unfairly good, pretty as he always is and more.

 

“Well… it sure took you an awful long to admit that you wanted this.”

 

“How did you…” Reality downs on Jeno and he shrieks, hiding his face in his hands, still inside Jaemin’s embrace. “This is not fair! Since when did you know?!”

 

Jaemin pretended to think, smirking coyly at him. “Maybe that day at the coffee shop? You’re not really subtle, Jeno.”

 

“I know! But you really didn’t need to leave me hanging like this”

 

“You mean steaming on your hormones?”

 

“Definitely!” Jeno exclaims, then a second after, “No! Not that! No!” he yells in desperation, to which Jaemin soundly laughs at.

 

“I’m kidding. Also, Renjun kind of told me after that day, but I thought it would be fun to see if you would tell me something.”

 

Jeno sulks at that, realizing what he always knew, “Renjun is a filthy traitor.”

 

“Now, now. He did it because he knew you wouldn’t tell me shit and wanted to help you. He’s half traitor.”

 

“I’m still gonna make him pay for it.”

 

“Don’t stress it.” Jeno makes a sound of confusion and looks back at Jaemin, when he leans down to kiss him again, sweeter this time, leaving Jeno all hot and bothered inside his coat and hug. “Let me take you on a date Lee Jeno.”

 

Jeno is left speechless, head going a mile per second, because this can’t be true, there’s just no way Jaemin just asked him out on a date in real life. He must be high again or maybe knocked his head somewhere and now he’s delusional. 

 

Except this is pretty much real and Jaemin is still standing in front of him, waiting for an answer, sporting a smile that looks nothing like the sly or lewd ones Jeno is so used to see. There’s something akin to fondness in his eyes too and it doesn’t fail on knocking the air out of Jeno’s chest.

 

He would probably fall right now if Jaemin weren’t holding him so close in his embrace, and the words that leave his mouth right after only makes his knees buckle even more.

 

“Let’s go on a date Jaemin.”





“How many flings do you take home after the first date?”

 

“You want a honest answer or a pleasing answer?”

 

“Does it means I won’t like the honest answer?”

 

Jaemin pulls Jeno closer to himself, limbs tangled under the silk bed sheets. The room smells of sex, cigarettes, and maybe a little bit like the beer that Jeno spilled when Jaemin pulled him up on the bed in a haste to get him undressed. 

 

Not that Jeno would complain, he rather liked the weird mix of smells that was so much like them.

 

“I don’t bring them here. You’re the first.”

 

“Oh please, and you want me to believe that?” Both of them laughed, knowing pretty well how Jaemin wasn’t a chaste dater by any means. If anything, he had more stories with flings and friends-with-benefits situations than Jeno could ever keep track, but even so, he kind of wanted to believe that there was some truth in Jaemin’s words.

 

“I’m serious though, I never bring them home, we just go to a motel and then I leave.”

 

“Not even your special friends?”

 

“What do you mean with that?”

 

Jeno shrugs, suddenly feeling slightly dumb for insisting on the matter, “You know, friends with benefits ‘kinda special…”

 

“They come here, yeah” Jaemin says, and Jeno tenses up at that, a nasty feeling of something he couldn’t quite describe growing inside him like wildfire. Jaemin seems to notice that, given the way he shifts until he’s on top of Jeno again, caging the slightly sulky boy between both arms and leaning down to land a sloppy kiss on his lips. “But I never take them on dates.”

 

“So I’m special special , huh?”

 

Jaemin smirks at Jeno, avoiding giving him a proper answer with another kiss. It’s slow and sloppy, hands roaming freely on naked skin and leaving both boys breathless, wanting for more; Jeno pulls away and stares at Jaemin intently as one of his hands snakes south, quickly finding Jaemin’s semi hard-on and tugging at it with a tight fist, watching in amusement as the other takes a sharp breath, slightly shagged when Jeno keeps his ministrations, riling him up without breaking eye contact once.

 

“You’re one of a kind Lee Jeno.”

 

“I bet you say that to all of them.” 

 

They shift positions and Jeno doesn’t waste time before getting under the sheets and crawling until he’s face to face with Jaemin’s raging boner, a low chuckle above him coming from the other.

 

“Maybe. Why? You don’t want me to?”

 

Jeno lifts the covers to stare down at Jaemin then, annoyed. “You’re the one who doesn’t want to get head right now as it seems.”

 

“Sorry, I just got curi–” Before he could finish his sentence, Jeno had snuck back inside the covers and grabbed Jaemin’s hard cock in hand, giving it a broad lick along the shaft all the way up to the head. Jeno is the one who chuckles this time once he hears Jaemin stammering under him, and dives back in, lapping his tongue all over his shaft while he thumbs at the underside of the head and then the slit.

 

Jaemin lets out shagged breaths above him, cursing lowly. One of his hands finds Jeno’s hair under the covers and grabs it, harshly tugging in retaliation for they way Jeno kept teasing him. His mind went blank just a few minutes into it, and Jaemin had a strong feeling that if he could see Jeno while he’s at it, he wouldn’t last a minute more.

 

Under him, Jeno goes even lower, sucking at the balls while his hand tugs at the shaft, working Jaemin at a languid and slow, wanting to work the other up as much as possible. This was his way of paying back Jaemin for being one pretty asshole, and every moan Jeno heard coming from him felt like a reward, pilling up as Jaemin grew tense under him, thigh shaking here and then and hand gripping at his hair tighter by the second.

 

“Jen, I think I’m close, please– please, I wanna feel your mouth.” Jeno throws the covers away only to look at Jaemin, hands still working on his dick as he smiles innocently at him.

 

“Hm, should I? You teased me a lot today.” 

 

And Jaemin really did earlier that night, when they were going at it for the first time and he kept pressing the tip of his cock at Jeno’s entrance without really going in, teasing the shit out of Jeno until he begged the be fucked senseless.

 

“I’m sorry baby, I promise I’ll be good to you next time”

 

“There will be a next time? Damn, maybe I really am special special

 

Jeno relents with that and goes down, taking Jaemin’s cock inside his mouth eagerly in one go, fitting half of it before his gag reflex acts on him and makes him pull out. Under him, Jaemin gasps and grabs his hair with both hands, pulling Jeno down right after and forcing him there, dick poking at his cheeks as Jaemin tentatively thrusts in and out.

 

“Can you deep throat?”

 

“Not a fan of it, but sure.”

 

“Tap my leg twice if you want me to stop.” Jeno nods at him and takes a deep breath, allowing Jaemin to guide his dick back inside his mouth and then to go further, slowly and apprehensive. Jeno looks up at Jaemin with hooded eyes and relax his throat even more, allowing him to slide all the way in, and when Jaemin bottoms out he moans in delight, or maybe awe struck.

 

Maybe he fell a little in love with Jeno too, right at that moment when he sees his cock completely disappear inside the others mouth and he only as much as tears up a little with that, humming from the back of his throat to throw Jaemin off balance.

 

He thrusts in and out, slowly, watching intently Jeno’s every reaction and the way his cock drips with saliva more and more within every second. It’s lewd and beautiful, and enough to make Jaemin lose control, chasing after his orgams with closed eyes and fast thrusts, Jeno’s gagging along with the wet sound of his movements a beautiful symphony echoing throughout the room.

 

“Fuck, fuck, you’re so good at this, I’m so close Jeno” Jeno hums again and sneaks his hands up, clawing at Jaemin’s chest and defined abs, only strong enough to leave red trails behind and tip Jaemin over the edge.

 

He pulls out a little after, panting hard and jacking himself off in quick motions. “Open your mouth for me baby” and Jeno does, sticks his tongue out and waits patiently, throwing his best pleading eyes at Jaemin, and that’s enough to make him spill long ropes of white cum inside Jeno’s mouth and on his cheeks.

 

“Damn… that was surreal.” Jaemin laughs, collecting the cum that splattered over the other’s cheeks and bringing it to his lips, to which Jeno complies and promptly licks it clean.

 

He makes a face right after, grimacing “You really should consider eating more pineapple”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Jeno slides into Jaemin’s embrace once again and pecks his jaw, content. In the end, Jaemin was really better than everything his mind came up with during the last months, and here, basking in the post-sex comfort, Jeno find himself finally at peace with his mind.

Notes:

Icb i actually managed to write this monster in a week, but i cant finish a 2k work from last year. Anyways, congrats if you got this far, and thanks a lot for reading!

Comments and kudos are highly appreciated <3
@bbybjaem on twt and cc too :)