Chapter Text
Taehyung felt numb. He had been kneeling on the floor for a long time. But he couldn’t move nor didn’t he want to. He knew it was unhealthy. But he couldn’t care less. Whispers and mumbles –pitying him– flooded through his ears but he didn’t pay attention to them. How could he? When his life was crumbling down and he couldn’t grasp it. One day he had everything and at the other there was nothing. It was far from the truth, he had pain and a void in the middle of his chest. And also he had… He felt someone kneel next to him and, trough his constipated nose from all the crying he had been doing for three days in a row, he could smell the florally scent of his brother’s mate. That was it.
“Taehyung-ah” the usual enthusiastic tone in Seokjin’s voice was now replaced by a concerned one “it’s time”
He couldn’t do this. He simply couldn’t. He saw from his peripheral vision how the staff of the place entered the room. Seokjin helped him stand up but his legs felt so wobbly that he almost tripped over himself if not for the hard grip his brother-in-law had on him. He saw a boy, a beta, taking the photo placed in the middle of the coffin with utmost care, as if he somehow was taking Taehyung’s life in his hands. The boy walked to him slowly and handed him the portrait of the smiling man. Taehyung gulped and looked at the picture and a cry of pain resounded around the room. He felt Seokjin’s hands gripping him harder as uncontrollable sobs left his chest. The staff took the coffin to the place where they would incinerate it and Taehyung hold the portrait closer to his chest. He couldn’t do it without him.
“Hey love! I’m home!” he heard him entering their shared apartment and it brought him a bright smile to his face and he stopped from working on his computer.
People never thought that Taehyung would consider the idea of having a partner. They often saw him as a free and strong spirit despite being an omega.
Since he was a child he defended himself from those who wanted to bully him for being a male omega; more often than not he would have a few scratches and bruises on his face, arms and legs because he got into fights with alpha kids defending himself or others. He never saw himself as someone fragile nor week because in his own words ‘mommy taught me better’. Growing up with a brave and strong omega mother and an alpha big brother, Taehyung learned how to defend himself of others using the dialogue first and if it didn’t work, well he would throw a few punches like his brother taught him.
Also people liked to think like that because of his fear for commitment. His father left them for a young omega when his brother was six and he was a few months old. Of course that left him with commitment issues; he more often than not said no to the countless courting proposals he received for young alphas saying that he just didn’t have the time for it.
Until a shy and precious alpha appeared on his life.
“How was work baby?” Taehyung asked when his boyfriend appeared on the doorway, loosening the tie he had worn and unbuttoning his sleeves. The man walked towards the couch he was sitting and kissed his forehead before plopping down next to him, exhaling trough his mouth.
“Literally nightmare” he saw as the other rested his head on the backrest and closed his eyes “we really need to change our sources of high definition technologies, there had been a lot of complaints of costumers that we’re thinking to just remove the product from the stores” Taehyung closed his laptop and put it on the center table so he could face his boyfriend properly “I shouldn’t have listened to Seungwoo and trusted my instincts”
“It’s supposed that you all are a big team baby, and you weren’t the only one agreeing with him so don’t take all the blame of it and also I know that you’re intelligent and already have a plan b on that pretty head of yours that’s going to work” he took the left hand of his boyfriend and squeezed it, feeling the other squeeze his back.
“But enough about my stressing day” the alpha responded and turned his face so he was watching him “how did you feel today?”
“Pretty fine, thanks for asking” he lifted the other’s hand and kissed it making him smile “I actually could work on the activities I want the kids from the school to do when I come back to work”
“Don’t you think it’s too early for that?” the other asked amused.
“Of course not!” he protested “also I have a lot of free time and I was reading the e-mails that the substitute teacher sent me about my kids and you really need to see the letters they wrote to me because, although Jinah is a precious teacher –their words not mine– they miss me so much” he heard the other chuckle and he smiled.
“You’re going to be and amazing father baby” his boyfriend whispered and he felt himself blush. The other got up and then kneeled in front of him and rested his head softly on his bump, where their little baby boy was as calming as ever, he felt hands caressing the bump and he put his hand on the other’s hair, running his fingers through the soft black strands “two more months to go and we’re going to see him. I can’t wait”
“Me neither” he whispered.
“I love you so much Taehyung” the other was now watching him from where he was kneeling, still caressing his bump with so much love on his eyes that he couldn’t help the soft smile appear on his face.
“I love you too Jungkook”
Everything was over now. His brother was driving while his brother-in-law was seated next to him. They didn’t want to leave him alone although he preferred to be on his apartment so he could cry his heart out a little bit more until there were no more tears to cry, but they were demanding he spent the night with them so they could be near if he didn’t feel good. He was far from feeling good but he accepted so they could be at ease.
They arrived at his brother’s house and said man helped him to get out of the car. When they entered the house the babysitter was holding his one year old niece, who saw her parents and shrieked at their arrival, Namjoon went to thank the lady and take the baby into his arms so the woman could leave. He saw his brother place a kiss on his daughter’s temple and the sight brought tears to his eyes. Jungkook didn’t have the chance to hold him. Containing the tears he left to the bathroom without noticing the concerned look in Seokjin’s face.
When he entered the bathroom he watched himself on the mirror. He had bags under his eyes and those were red and puffy for all the crying he’d been doing. His lips were raw at how much he’d bitten them when he didn’t want others to hear him cry. His hair was disheveled and his expression was empty. The eyes that once were sparkling weren’t there anymore. He took deep breaths and kept on staring at his reflection. He didn’t know how much he had been there when he heard a soft knock on the door.
“Tae” it was his brother’s voice “the dinner’s ready. You haven’t eaten something since yesterday and you need to eat” there was a long silence and he heard a sigh “I don’t know how hard it is baby, I can’t even imagine it but you have to be strong as you always do” he saw a tear slip from his left eye running down his cheek “do it for the one you’re carrying and for him too, but most importantly for you” his lips wobbled and he bit them again “I love you baby” he heard his brother steps signaling he left to the kitchen and inhaled long and hard. He brought a hand towards to his bump, where his baby was moving and cried silently.
“I don’t know if I can do it baby. I’m so sorry”
He wasn’t expecting nobody this late and Jungkook never forgot his keys so when he heard someone knocking at his door, he felt heaviness on his stomach. He approached carefully and looked through the peephole and noticed his brother and his mate standing outside his apartment. Confused but pleased at his brother visiting him, he opened the door with a smile and greeted his hyungs.
“Hyungs! What are you doing here?” he asked cheerfully but his expression changed when he noticed Seokjin’s red eyes “what happened? Is Eunae fine?” he asked concerned and his brother sighed.
“We need to talk Tae” the older told him “let’s go inside”
“Hyung you’re scaring me” he told the other once he was seated on the living room with Seokjin on his side holding his hand tightly. He smelled the distress on his brother-in-law making him nervous and he tried to calm himself.
“Tae, we need you to be calm for your pup, okay love?” Seokjin told him and he frowned.
“I am hyung I promise” he put the hand Seokjin wasn’t holding on his bump and caressed it softly “what’s going on?”
“I’m so sorry baby” Namjoon told him before a tear rolled down his cheek “someone attacked Jungkook when he was leaving his building…” he felt the air left his lungs and the only thing he could hear was a piercing sound and the muffled voice of his brother. The older was mumbling words like ‘shoot’, ‘three’, ‘police’, ‘heart’, ‘investigating’ but he couldn’t form any sentence out of them. He felt Seokjin crying next to him and he clutched at his bump “…he is…” his brother sighed “I’m-I’m sorry baby” he couldn’t even say the word but Taehyung understood.
Jungkook left him. Jungkook was dead. A lump formed inside his throat and he suddenly felt like the room was too small and there wasn’t air. He watched as Seokjin shouted at Namjoon to ask for an ambulance meanwhile he was trying to talk to him, but he couldn’t hear anything.
Just that morning Jungkook had made them breakfast and spoiled them for the hour he had before going to work with lots of cuddles and kisses; he had promised he would come back to them and Jungkook never broke his promises so that had to be a nightmare. Yes. A nightmare. He would wake up and then Jungkook was going to enter their apartment with a big smile on his face and he would kiss him and then go to his knees so he could kiss his bump. Because Jungkook promised him that before he left and he never ever break his promises.
“I’ll come back as soon as I finish everything on the company baby” Jungkook had told him giving him a soft kiss to his lips.
“We’re going to miss you Kookie” he had told him with a pout on his face.
“And I’m going to miss you both” the older said caressing his bump and kissing him again “I promise I’ll come back soon”
“Promise, promise?” he knew he was being childish but he knew the other was whipped for him so when he lifted his pinky, the other intertwined his and kissed their fingers.
“Promise” the other answered with a blinding smile “I love you baby”
He was in the middle of his bed not really watching the ceiling. He was spacing out as it was becoming a tradition for him. Two weeks had passed since that fatal day and he wasn’t feeling anywhere good. But he wasn’t feeling worse and according to his hyungs that was fine, so they let him return to his apartment.
He blinked a few times and turned his face to his right, where his and Jungkook’s first picture was. A shaky breath left his lips and he sighed. Jungkook’s scent was still heavy on their apartment and although it made him feel at home, it also reminded him that he wasn’t there anymore. He turned at his left and placed a hand on the spot Jungkook usually slept and his vision blurred. He let the tears leave his eyes but quickly wiped them. It wasn’t healthy for his baby. He took some time to get up from bed and went to the kitchen to do something to eat.
Since Namjoon and Seokjin left him go to his apartment he had been working on autopilot: eating breakfast, showering, doing small chores at his house, eating again, rearranging his baby’s stuff, having dinner and the cycle went on and on. Sometimes Seokjin came with his niece to make him company and sometimes the little family came to have dinner.
He had watched how Namjoon avoided taking his daughter in his arms whenever he was around. He was still sensitive about watching his alpha brother with his daughter when he knew Jungkook didn’t have the chance to hold their son and it was grateful for it, but it also felt like he was a burden because his brother had to stop himself and he really wanted them to stop pitying him. Yes, he wasn’t fine and maybe it would take a lot of time but he had to come back to his old self.
He was snapped back to reality when a hard knock echoed through the apartment. He wasn’t expecting someone; Namjoon was working and Seokjin always called before coming. He got up from the couch where he was sitting and waddled towards the door with a hand on his back and the other on his bump. He smelled a woody-smoky alpha scent that made him scrunch his nose but it made him felt at peace. He knew he had smelled something like that before and his heart beat fast and he cautiously opened the door.
He felt the air knocked out of his lungs. He was having a nightmare again, he was sure of it. He grasped the door knob so hard that he knew his knuckles were white. His lips trembled and his vision was blurry again. This couldn’t be happening to him.
“Jungkook?”