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He knows, now, how far astray he led them all.
And the burning scars run so deep he can’t find the root, anymore.
And so, he turned away from a puzzle he feared solving so deeply he tossed away the pieces with a scattering hand and found new apostles to lead into battle.
And he smiled, and he laughed; he played the angel so well- he found a Magdalene in spirit, he found a Peter in soul. He gathered sparks and smiles close and used them to fortify the walls that truth insistently battered against- demanding acknowledgement, demanding to be known.
And three times, like old Terran stories, three times he denied their face before the rooster sounded. A crowing heathen made of the roar of ship’s engines and the clamor of mutiny. The betrayers betrayed a betrayer without ever truly knowing it.
And then the bill came due.
A taxman draped in royal violet and armed for war; a hoard of faces set in scared determination and finally… Finally he let down the gate and bid Truth to speak their piece.
Once more you lead, and they follow.
His spark was hurting.
Once more they love you and you hide behind them.
His spark was burning.
Once more you face down the one you left behind-
His spark felt like a supernova in a bottle; and oh how it hurt.
And once again you will abandon him.
He begs his mind for mercy knowing he will find none as he hears an old Senator speak in whispers from memories slowly rising to the forefront.
“Remember me as I was.”
Skids chokes on hellfire and sulfur-smoke as his spark gives out, as the word Grindcore rattles around his processor like shrapnel in a dead frame.
‘Remember me as I was.’, he echoes in a whisper as his optics spark and go dim; as Brainstorm’s face flickers in his mind’s eye warped in pain and old mourning, ‘Remember me as I was, as you knew me-’
“Let my sins die with me.”
Somewhere, an old scientist feels a light go out.
Somewhere, an old God turns to a tired mech and says, “Bring him home.”
Somewhere, a note sours and a madmech stares out into a war-colored sky and readies for a showdown.
The sun rises, a sun falls dark.
He passes into nothingness, praying his face will one day be forgotten and the pain it brings will fade into an easily ignored ache.
Remember me as you knew me; Remember me as I was.
Or don’t remember me at all.