Chapter Text
WooYoung went out of the shower with wet hair and feeling relaxed. Nothing felt better than wearing some loose sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt after a long day in tight outfits and a tiring fansign.
There were voices and laughs coming from the living room and a nice smell in the air. They ordered food after they came from the fansign, but it seemed like someone was not satisfied. WooYoung followed the clanging noises to the kitchen, where he found SeongHwa, MinGi and YunHo. SeongHwa was cooking while MinGi and YunHo were sitting at the table, talking.
"Hey guys, still hungry?", he asked with a teasing smile.
"I didn't get to eat much!", MinGi whined and the others laughed. "But our hyung is the best hyung to ever exist!", he singsonged, standing up to bother SeongHwa and hug him from behind.
"Stop it or I'll burn your food!", the elder warned with a threatening wooden spoon. MinGi pouted but released him and sat down again, looking like a kicked puppy. YunHo comforted him.
"Anyways, have you seen San?", WooYoung asked. He hadn't seen the boy since they arrived at the dorm. He was feeling rather empty without his other half glued at his hip.
"He's in our room", YunHo informed. "He said he wasn't feeling well".
"Oh, I'll check on him then", the blond didn't waste any time in hearing a reply and walked to the room the boys shared. He knocked, but there was no answer. It was possible that San fell asleep. He decided to open the door to see if the elder was okay. He would always be too tired to dry his hair, put his phone to charge or even cover himself with a blanket.
WooYoung was surprised when he saw the black-haired boy laying on YunHo’s bed, playing with his phone and with Shiber in his arms. He seemed okay, at least physically, but the blond knew something was wrong if he didn’t have the energy to climb up on his own bed with all his plushies.
San gave WooYoung a glance and went back at his phone. The younger frowned. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the bed next to San.
"Hey", he said. San nodded in greeting. "Are you okay?", WooYoung worried. He didn't remember having an argument with San, but it was evident the boy was mad at him for some reason.
San sighed. "Yeah".
"Are you sure, baby? Did something happen?", WooYoung insisted. He knew San didn’t like him to be too persistent, but the blond was concerned. San would always talk to him about the things that bothered him, even the most mundane ones. The only time this wouldn’t happen would be when WooYoung himself was the reason behind his temper.
"Nothing. Leave me alone", he asked him. WooYoung's frown deepened. He tried to rest his hand on San's, but the boy didn't let him.
"Hey, why are you angry? Please tell me so we can talk about it", the blond tried.
"I'm not angry", San huffed. "I'm just... please, leave me alone", he almost pleaded -his voice broke a little and he hid under the blankets. WooYoung stared at the pile of sheets like the white fabric would give him some kind of answer.
He thought about how San became rather quiet sometime in the afternoon, how his energy drained faster than usual that day. He tried to pinpoint why that happened but couldn’t find a cause. Eventually, he sighed and walked out of the room. San was having a bad day; he didn’t know if he was the reason, but he was the one who was going to fix it.
He went to the kitchen, YunHo and MinGi were still there. The older was cleaning the other's mouth while they were laughing because of the mess MinGi was doing while eating. He hated to break their moment.
"Hey YunHo, can I ask you something?".
The blond nodded, his expression changed when he saw how serious WooYoung was. "Sure, what's the matter?".
"Could you share with YeoSang tonight, please? I need to take care of something with San", he begged.
"Eh sure. No problem", he nodded, a confusing look on his face. WooYoung thanked him with a gentle slap on the back and searched for his roommate to tell him about the arrangement.
YeoSang was entertained watching a video with JongHo on the couch when he found him.
"Hey, Woo! Come and watch this!", his friend said with enthusiasm. He sat next to him but didn't pay much attention to the boys doing silly things in the maknae’s cellphone. He wanted to go back to San as soon as possible.
"Yeo, would you mind sharing with YunHo tonight?", he asked. YeoSang looked at him, questioning him with his eyes. He was going to tease him about it, but once he saw WooYoung’s troubled expression he changed his mind. JongHo glanced at them curiously.
"Are you okay?", he hated to worry his friend, but he couldn’t answer what he himself didn’t know. He nodded. "Okay, no problem, Woo. Tell me if you need anything".
"Of course. Thank you, Sanggie".
He prepared San's favourite tea while MinGi and YunHo were cleaning the dishes. After he was finished he said goodnight to them. He took the cup and quietly entered the room and locked the door so they wouldn't be bothered. San was still hidden in a cocoon.
"Baby, I made some tea for you", he whispered while sitting down next to him like earlier. San didn't move. "Maybe you'll feel better after drinking it", he suggested. He saw the boy shake his head. WooYoung sighed and put the cup on the night-table. His hands stroked his boyfriend's back and then climbed next to him. He struggled with the boy to hide under the covers too. In the end, San allowed him to lay down next to him but didn't turn to face him. WooYoung hugged the elder from behind. "Please tell me what's wrong baby, I wanna help", he whispered on the back of his neck.
San quivered and, after a long minute, he whispered with a trembling voice: "I'm not enough".
WooYoung almost saw his life fall apart in front of him. He almost asked him to repeat himself, but he couldn’t dare to listen to those words from San’s mouth again.
“Baby, look at me. Please, look at me”, he begged, trying to make the boy turn around. San refused the first few times, but then he seemed to lose strength and his teary eyes looked at WooYoung’s face. The blond’s soul ached at the sight. “Why are you saying this, Sannie?”.
"I'm not enough”, he repeated, hurting WooYoung. “I’m not enough for you”.
“W-what?”, WooYoung’s face frowned in a mix of confusion and anger. He couldn’t believe his ears.
San sniffed and went on: “YeoSang is better. He's better than me. He's really important to you. He’s your best friend, I know he'll always be the first for you. Although it still hurts every time you choose him over me, I think that's the way it should be".
WooYoung was speechless.
“What?”, the younger said again, an incredulous tone making his voice higher.
"I mean...", San fidgeted, looking down. "He's more suitable for you. You two are the perfect pair of best friends that could turn into an even perfect couple. Sometimes, I feel like I ruined your relationship and I have nothing to do between you two", San expressed everything that was going on in his mind. He just couldn't stop these negative thoughts, especially in the last weeks.
“San, what are you talking about?”, San opened his mouth, but WooYoung didn’t let him talk anymore. He knew where this was going to end. “Sannie. Baby. My love”, he recited, taking the black-haired boy’s cheeks between his hands. “Never think about being less than YeoSang or anyone. If you're talking about how I decide to choose him in those silly questions the MCs ask or the stupid games they make us do, that’s because I want to draw the attention away from us sometimes. I don’t want to risk our relationship by being too obvious about it because we already are too reckless”, WooYoung explained. He was determined to make San understand he would never hurt him on purpose. “Yeo and I have known each other for many years, we’re best friends, but you and I have another kind of relationship. You're my best friend, too, but you're also my boyfriend. You're extremely important for me, baby”.
San continued sniffing for a few seconds, he didn't know what to say, but he felt better. He hugged WooYoung tighter and hid his face in the boy’s chest. WooYoung played with his hair and kissed the top of his head.
“Sorry, my mind's been all over the place... I’m an idiot”, he whispered. WooYoung chuckled, cupped the boy’s face between his hands again and rested his forehead on San’s.
“Yeah, you are. But you’re my beautiful idiot”, he knew the phrase was cliché, but it was the truth. “I love you, baby”.
“I love you too”, he murmured and left a soft kiss on his lips. WooYoung smiled, rubbing his nose against San’s, making the boy wrinkle his nose at the action. “Sappy”, he said, but there was an affectionate smile on his face.
“You like it”, the blond stated, kissing San’s cheeks, nose, forehead, lips; making both laugh.
“Stop! Yah!”, the boy whined, feeling out of breath. WooYoung complied, breathless as well, but satisfied that he could make San laugh.
He took time to appreciate the black-haired boy’s state. His flushed cheeks, his puffy eyes and lips because of crying, his messy hair, the falling and rising of his chest. San looked outstanding. The blond stroked San’s chin and left another sweet kiss on his lips. He couldn’t understand how he didn’t notice how much WooYoung loved him, wanted him. He sighed, unable to resist those rosy lips and kissing them again, his hand making his way under San’s T-shirt. San breath hitched against his mouth.
“Want me to show you how precious you are to me?”, WooYoung asked in a hushed tone, looking at him in the eyes.
San gulped and nodded.