Chapter Text
So... she may not have been entirely honest with the Resistance about all that had led to her timely rescue on Crait.
It wasn't that she wanted to lie to them, but there were ultimately some things they didn't need to know. Some things they were better off not knowing. And some things that were really just none of their business.
They didn't really need to know that the legendary Luke Skywalker had run off to an uncharted planet to die alone with his shame, for example. They didn't need to know he had cut himself off from the Force, or that he hadn't wanted to train her at all. They certainly didn't need to hear of his derision for the Jedi Order.
Leia, at least, probably deserved - needed - to know that it had ultimately been her brother who created Kylo Ren, but Rey hadn't been able to find the words to tell her yet. The secret had been kept for so long, and was it even really her secret to tell? Was that her decision to make? ...Would Leia even believe her, if she told her? (And was that how Ben had felt, all those years ago? Had he wanted to tell them what happened, wanted to go home, but kept quiet out of fear that he wouldn't be believed by his own parents? That they would believe the Legend over their struggling son?)
The Resistance certainly didn't need to know about the Bond she barely understood. About all the times the Force had connected her to the Enemy, and the conversations they'd had. (She didn't really believe that one, knew it presented a potential security risk, but found herself repeating it to herself so often she could at least pretend for a bit, because what if it caused them to throw her out? They were her family now, her friends, and she couldn't bear to leave them - not to mention she had nowhere else to go. If they kicked her out, she couldn't protect them and keep them safe.) They didn't need to know about the promise they'd made to each other, about the feel of his hand touching hers.
They did need to know she'd had a vision. That she'd at least seen something that made her believe she could bring Ben back to the Light. But perhaps not that Luke had been against it. If she let them believe he'd supported her decision, well... that just made her human, didn't it? It stung enough to have been so wrong - did she really have to admit how stupid she'd been to everyone?
She let them know that Snoke was dead, of course, along with his guards. That B-- that Kylo Ren had been involved. That was vital information. If a certain lack of details had caused them all to assume she had been the one to take out the Supreme Leader... Well, she could always correct them later, if need be. But for now, it didn't feel like hers to share. (She was still protecting him, whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not.)
What had happened once the last of the Praetorian Guard was dead was definitely none of their business. Not at all. And neither was his following offer and heart-felt plea. They didn't need to know her heart had finally been broken by a man just as lost and lonely as she was.
They did need to know that Kylo Ren planned to assume control of the First Order, if he hadn't already. How she had ultimately escaped to be picked up by Chewie, just in time to help them all on Crait.
Leia and her friends needed to know what had happened to her lightsaber, of course. There would be no avoiding the questions, and she didn't want to keep secrets. Rey hated the feeling of lying to her family, of withholding, and she offered this truth up gladly, as though it might help make up for all those she wasn't providing.
But really, some of it was just none of their business.
Now if only she could believe that...