Chapter Text
It was Beacon’s annual initiation, and like always, the sight of numerous young teenagers littered the sky as they were launched by the academy’s launch pads. Every Hunter and Huntress in training tried their best to land safely onto the ground, whether it would be using the trees as support, or stylishly rolling to lighten the impact.
Somewhere near the center of the forest, one unfortunate Hunter was about to do the usual landing roll to lighten the impact of the fall...only to immediately get hit by a yellow and green bus that came literally from nowhere. The Hunter’s body just flung towards a tree like a ragdoll as the random bus braked to a halt.
“ALRIGHT!” Vanoss shouted as he got out of the bus. “We’re finally here guys!”
As Vanoss’ voice echoed across the bus, 6 other individuals exited the bus holding out crowbars. These individuals were none other than H20 Delirious, BasicallyIDoWrk, Daithi De Nogla, Terroriser, I AM WILDCAT, and Moo Snuckel. As they exited the vehicle, they were holding up PhysGuns, crowbars, and tool guns.
“Okay so what’s the deal with this location, Marcel?” Wildcat asked.
“Let’s see…” Basically mumbled as he looked on a small GMod HUD. “Welcome to the Emerald Forest, a dangerous place filled with monsters that are feared across the world, with the sole intent to destroy humans. Mission: Your goal is to escape the forest while killing any monster that you come across.”
“Alright, that seems like enough content for you, right Brian?” Wildcat asked.
“Oh fuck off…” Terroriser mumbled as a response as everyone chuckled at the joke.
“Rules!” Basically said as he kept reading. “No noclip.”
All of a sudden Vanoss just popped out of the ground as he noclipped in front of Basically.
“Goddammit Evan…” Nogla mumbled as everyone chuckled.
“Rule two! Do not use Physgun or Tool Gun, only use crowbars.” Basically continued.
With the Physgun, Vanoss held the bus and tossed it towards the sky before spawning numerous health packs. From a distance, you can even see the flying bus knock out some random birds before being sliced in half and exploding.
“It’s fine, we can just spawn another one.” Vanoss shrugged as Basically just squinted at him.
…
“Rule three! No friendly fire!” Basically read the final rule.
As Basically read that, H20 Delirious and Moo Snuckel noticed the unconscious Hunter and just crouched towards him.
“Guys? Was this dead body always here?” Delirious asked.
“He’s not dead Delirious, he still has a pulse.” Moo pointed out.
“Don’t worry guys, he’s just napping and he just needs a little nudge.” Wildcat said as he swung the crowbar towards the body numerous times.
As Wildcat kept beating on the body, Delirious and Nogla slowly joined in and started beating on the body too. The beating kept on going until they just saw an odd outline of energy dissipate from the Hunter.
“Hold up! Pause! Pause! Pause! Pause!” Basically said as he tried stopping the three of them from swinging their crowbars. Eventually, the three of them stopped swinging as Basically inspected the body a bit further. “Since this guy is alive, we can probably get some easy answers on getting out of here.”
“What makes you think that?” Wildcat asked.
“He was seen jumping down towards the ground until our bus fucking ran over his ass! He’s probably a local.” Basically pointed out. “Look let’s just get a health pack and-”
All of a sudden, Vanoss walked towards the Hunter and smacked a couple of health packs towards their head as they disappeared. As the health packs kept on getting consumed, the Hunter looked like he was healing from all of the wounds that he previously sustained.
“Alright before he wakes up, let’s tie him up.” Basically said.
“Why?” Vanoss asked.
“Oh gee, it’s totally not because we just ran him over with a bus and beat him up with crowbars. That would totally not piss someone off!” Basically responded. “Look just get some rope and tie him to that tree there.”
“Okay, BDSM it is.” Wildcat said as he spawned some rope.
“Oh my God…” Basically mumbled as he facepalmed. Sighing from the forced innuendo, Basically, alongside Moo tied the Hunter against the tree. “Okay, now we wait for him to wake up.”
“Or how about we do this: We split up with one group-” Vanoss proposed.
“No! No! No! If we split up, we all die one by one. Haven’t you seen horror movies?” Basically interrupted.
“Marcel, this isn’t a scary map, we won’t die that easily. Besides we have weapons and health packs at our disposal.” Vanoss said as he held out a submachine gun and shotgun.
“Ugh, fine. But if you guys die, don't say I didn't warn you.” Basically mumbled before looking back at the Hunter. “Tyler and Brian, you guys stay here with me.”
“Then I guess I’ll go with Brock and Delirious.” Vanoss said.
“Wait, what about me?” Nogla asked.
“Nogla, you can just do whatever.” Vanoss responded as he casually waved his hand.
"Oh sweet. I get to go by myself? Great I can finally try and-" Nogla said as he walked further down into the forest until Vanoss and the others heard nothing but mumbling.
“Wait Nogla! Don’t travel by yourse-” Vanoss shouted. However, it was too late, seeing as Nogla was already far gone. “Goddammit, I meant that he can choose who to travel with…”
“So, anyone volunteer to go with him?” Moo asked.
“Ugh fine. I’ll go.” Terroriser said as he walked to the direction Nogla ran off too.
“Well of course the other Irish guy in the group goes after Nogla.” Wildcat said as everyone chuckled along, prompting Terroriser to point two middle fingers at him.
“Okay Evan, so why split up again?” Basically asked.
“Well, we can have one group head that way where we saw the guy getting launched from and check if there’s an exit there.” Vanoss said as he pointed towards the sky. “See look. You can even see more people flying and they’re heading the opposite way that we’re heading right now. So THEREFORE! There has to be something that way.”
“Alright then what will you do once you head there?” Basically asked.
“I don’t know. In game chat?” Vanoss pointed out as he pulled out a small GMod chat window. “I can just inform everyone where our location is so they can teleport to us.”
“Goddammit, what ever happened to not cheating on adventure maps?” Basically mumbled.
“Well fuck the rules.” Vanoss said as he walked away. “We’re going to find a way out and that’s that.”
“I mean, I was going to just noclip up and look for an exit, but walking works too…” Moo shrugged as he followed behind Vanoss.
Shortly after, Delirious followed suit and left Wildcat and Basically on their own. Just hearing the zero fucks that Vanoss had with the rules of the map, Basically can’t help but groan in annoyance.
“I swear we’re going to just break this map…” Basically mumbled.
Now the only two members left near the unconscious Hunter, Basically and Wildcat just stood in front of him wondering what to do next.
“Marcel, what’s the plan here?” Wildcat asked.
“Well I was going to have Brian use his Arnold voice and try to interrogate the guy, but I guess we have to just ask questions normally.” Basically shrugged. “Okay, let’s just get our guns ready and wake him up.”
As he and Wildcat reloaded their shotguns, Basically got a bit closer to the guy and slowly nudged him a bit. The first attempt failed, as they got no response after the first few pokes. However, the more they kept poking the Hunter, he was showing signs of waking up.
“Shhh, he’s about to wake up. Get ready.” Basically said as he aimed down the sights of the shotgun.
With the two of them focused on aiming, the Hunter was shaking a bit before he started slowly opening his eyes. The slow process of waking up was immediately cut short as the Hunter woke up screaming, as if he still felt the shock of getting hit by a bus. Immediately as a reflex, Basically and Wildcat screamed as well and pulled the trigger, firing two shotgun shells towards the Hunter and mortally wounding him.
“Oh shit! I didn’t mean to pull the trigger.” Basically said as he chuckled a bit. “I kind of liked how we both pulled the trigger at the same time though.”
“Look, that scream caught me off guard okay? He screamed like a pussy though.” Wildcat said as he looked at the Hunter. “Shit, we kind of fucked that guy up.”
Paying attention to the Hunter once more, Basically noticed that the Hunter was now bleeding like crazy.
“Well, it’s now or never.” Basically said as he pointed his shotgun at the Hunter. “Alright listen up fucker! You better answer our question or else I’m firing another bullet!”
As he clung onto the last threads of his life and coughed some blood, the Hunter just quietly hissed at the two of them before finally talking. “I would rather die than risk the safety of my academy to you thugs…”
Immediately hearing this, Basically just lowered his gun and just looked at the Hunter with a confused look on his face.
“Wait, the fuck are you talking about? We just wanted to find a way out of this forest since we got lost.” Basically bluntly said.
“What makes you think I should believe that you guys won’t invade the academy if I did tell you the exit?” The Hunter asked.
“Well if we wanted to destroy your so called academy, we would just kill you on the spot.” Wildcat pointed out. “Okay tell you what...” As soon as he said this, Wildcat grabbed a couple of health packs and started smacking them against the Hunter, which miraculously healed off the wounds that they both caused. “There, we healed you. Do we look like a bunch of assholes now?”
“Then why tie me up?” The Hunter asked.
“I dunno. We thought that you will attack us after one of our friends hit you with our bus.” Basically pointed out.
“Oh! So that wasn’t a dream. Well damn.” The Hunter mumbled.
“Look dude, just tell us where the exit is so we can let you go and catch up with our buddies.” Wildcat said. “That is unless you do want another bullet…”
Seeing as there was no choice, the Hunter had to answer the question, otherwise he would be eating lead.
“Fine, the exit is just that way.” The Hunter answered as he gestured his head towards the direction that Vanoss and the others ran off too.
“Well shit, looks like Evan was right.” Basically mumbled. “Come on, just release the guy. Evan shouldn’t have gotten far.”
Wildcat nodded and proceeded to cut the ropes that were tied around the Hunter, setting him free. Despite being at the brink of death twice, it was a miracle that he did not decide to attack Basically and Wildcat after he was set free. Once the Hunter was free, the three of them departed as if they have never met before.
“By the way, you can take some of those health packs there!” Wildcat shouted as he pointed at the health packs on the floor.
“Okay, we should probably inform the others that we found the way to the exit.” Basically said as he started typing in a GMod chat window.
As Nogla was wandering further into the Emerald Forest, Terroriser finally caught up with him. He needed a small moment to catch his breath after running quite a distance.
“Nogla, why the hell did you run off like that?!” Terroriser asked.
“I mean Evan did say I can do whatever.” Nogla responded as he shrugged a bit.
Immediately as he said this, Nogla and Terroriser got a message in the chat that came from Basically. The main gist of the message was telling everyone in the group that the exit was west, the exact opposite direction that Terroriser and Nogla were heading.
“Oh for fuck sake! Now we have to go the other way?!” Terroriser groaned.
“Don’t worry Brian, it should be fine. It wasn’t that tiring to travel anyway.” Nogla said as he started walking away. Just seeing Nogla not tired from that small journey just pissed Terroriser even more. But regardless, he decided to follow Nogla back to where they came from.
As they were walking back however, the two of them stumbled upon an odd creature that made this eerie growling noise.
“Oh shit!” Terroriser quietly mumbled as he crouched down behind a bush. “Nogla, you see that?”
Not responding to Terroriser’s question, Nogla just looked at the creature once more. The creature was a gigantic black bear that was almost two times bigger than the average bear. However, not only was the bear covered in bone-like armor, but it even had red eyes, as if everything else about its appearance did not scream out “evil”. Of course, this was none other than an Ursa Major, although Terroriser and Nogla didn’t know.
“Holy hell, that thing is huge!” Terroriser said to himself. “Okay maybe if we can sneak up on this thing, we can-”
All of a sudden, Nogla just walked towards the bear and launched a grenade from the grenade launcher attached to the submachine gun. Despite the bear being almost three times bigger than Nogla himself, it was immediately killed by just a few bullets shortly after. Just to make sure the bear was dead, Nogla started smacking it with a crowbar.
“Or I guess you can do that!” Terroriser said as he peeped his head out of the bush. “So much for getting footage of me helping Nogla!”
“Well we have guns, what else were we supposed to do?” Nogla said as he held his submachine gun up.
“You could’ve planned a bit and it would’ve looked cooler!” Terroriser exclaimed.
Nogla just shrugged and walked the other direction, showing absolutely no fucks about the situation.
“Goddammit Nogla…” Terroriser mumbled as he followed Nogla once more.
Vanoss, Moo Snuckel, and H20 Delirious eventually arrived at a cliffside after following wherever the hell the “flying” people came from.
“ALRIGHT!” Vanoss said. “Looks like this is our ticket out of here.”
“Don’t worry guys! I got this!” Delirious said as he started climbing up the cliffside, albeit failing miserably. “It’s time for Batcoon to shine!”
As Delirious was still climbing up a good two inches up, Basically and Wildcat reunited with the others and just watched as well. While he was still making progress on climbing, Moo looked to the far left of where Delirious was climbing and explored it a bit. Upon looking closer, he noticed that there was a staircase that led to the very top. Being the friends they are, Moo gestured everyone to follow him up the stairs and leave Delirious behind.
Delirious continued climbing until he finally reached a ledge that he can finally rest on. “Phew this is gonna be tiring.”
“Oh hey Delirious, you made it.”
“Wait what?!” Delirious looked up only to see Vanoss and the others standing in front of him. “How did you-” His sentence was cut short only to see Vanoss pointing at the staircase behind him. “Goddammit!”
Everyone just had a short chuckle as they just laughed at Delirious.
“I liked how it took you so long to realize that we ditched you for the stairs.” Wildcat said.
“I know! Why didn’t you guys tell me about the stairs to begin with?!” Delirious asked.
“You were kind of in the zone at that point and I didn’t want to ruin it.” Vanoss shrugged.
“Fuck you.” Delirious said before chuckling a bit, knowing it was all good. Shortly after, Vanoss held his hand out and helped Delirious off the ground while also making sure he can stand on his own.
“Alright, come on guys. Let’s just see what’s up this cliff.” Basically said as he walked on ahead.
The journey up the stairs were rough, but at least the group did not have to climb all the way up. Despite having to walk almost 5000 flights of stairs, Vanoss and the others made it with almost no sense of pain on their knees and legs.
“ALRIGHT! We made it!” Vanoss said as they finally reached the top of the cliff, prompting everyone to casually cheer in unison. “Okay now what?”
Basically said, “Well we just wait for Nogla and-”
Before he can finish his sentence however, Nogla and Terroriser noclipped to the top of the cliff to reunite with the others. Despite that, Basically was just covering his face in annoyance once more.
“Goddammit you guys! What happened to rule of ‘do not use noclip’?!” Basically exclaimed.
“Oh sorry, it’s not like I had to chase this motherfucker from not separating from our group.” Terroriser said as he pointed at Nogla.
“At least take the stairs like the rest of us you lazy fucks!” Basically shouted.
“Wait, there were stairs?” Nogla asked as he looked back and forth at the stairs that were behind him. The reaction and obliviousness that Nogla showed just made everyone besides Basically and Terroriser laugh.
“Oh my God Nogla. ‘Oh! There were stairs?’ as he just awkwardly looks at the stairs that were clearly behind him.” Wildcat chuckled.
“Fucking hell...what’s the point of even playing here if you dumbasses are just going to break the rules?” Basically asked.
“Okay then, what are we even supposed to do here then huh? We exited the forest, now what?!” Nogla asked.
As Basically and Nogla just argued a bit, Moo and Vanoss just looked to the side and just saw two unknown people just wide eyed at what they had just witnessed.
“Uh...guys?” Vanoss said as he poked the both of them.
“Evan, what now?!” Basically asked, prompting Vanoss to just point at the two people standing right beside them. This of course, calmed Basically down a bit, who was now trying to comprehend who these people are.
One person was a grey haired man that was wearing a dark green suit that was paired with a green scarf. He was about the same height as the group, but looked sure as hell more mature than them. He was even seen holding a cane in one hand and a cup of coffee on the other. The other person was a blond woman that was wearing fancy black and white clothing that was paired with a small purple cape. The woman was slightly shorter than the man, as if she was some sort of colleague, or perhaps apprentice.
“Sweet, maybe we can ask them.” Nogla said.
“Uh...hey excuse us. Do you any of you guys know where we can go next?” Wildcat asked.
There was no response to the two as they were still wide eyed from all of this.
“Well I’ll be…” The man said before turning his head to the woman. “Any thoughts Glynda?”
Without even saying anything, Glynda just fainted onto the ground back first.
“See? Told you breaking the rules broke this map. Now we can’t even interact with people.” Basically mumbled.