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Zayn meant to get back to the hotel an hour earlier, but he had been lightly ambushed and detained by a group of young women on his way out of a small convenience store just a few blocks away. He tried to politely explain that he needed to hurry back to the hotel while juggling three bags of random shit he picked up. Quickly getting a few pictures with the women and signing a couple autographs, he nearly ran back to the hotel. The night was clear and he was almost surprised after the downfall that had basically killed anyone’s hope of a good mood.
It had been a hard week for all of them. The stress was getting to them again and tensions were running high as the cabin fever built. Louis was being snappier than usual, which just made Harry more stressed because he felt as though he had to control him (Zayn tried time and time again to convince Harry that everyone understood, but Harry had a guilt complex no one could conquer). Niall hated tension and tried to joke it off or otherwise hid in his room. Liam occupied himself via Twitter which only added to his murky mood due to the increase of negativity surrounding his account.
Zayn was just trying to keep his chill.
The day before, a small fight had come around, one that probably had been building up since they started being cooped up in the hotel for several weeks. Louis was frustrated with all work and no play and Liam was trying to keep everyone focused. Louis flipped his shit nearly when Liam snapped at him to stop acting like a child.
"Me acting like a child? I thought the Daddy Direction act was over two years ago, Liam." Louis’d said.
"Don’t get mad at me because you’re lazy."
"Sorry I’m not too keen on working 15 hours a day."
"Stop being dramatic!"
"Stop being Liam!”
They’d gone back to rehearsal for a tense hour after that before breaking for the weekend. Louis slunk back to apologize later that night but Liam shrugged it off in a way that set off warning bells to Zayn. Liam had locked himself away in his room and scarcely came out since. Each of the boys had tried their
So now, Saturday night and the boys were having it in because management was ordering them to be low key. Harry and Louis loved low key time, usually, because it meant they got more time to themselves and no false relationships to waste “sexual energy” on (Louis’ words). Zayn understood that, but he was also a little pissed because while they got to take out their frustrations on each other in bed, everyone else had to deal with it themselves. Zayn could tell Niall just wanted a cuddle.
Zayn stood outside Liam’s door, just catching his breath and rearranging himself for a hot second. He knocked quietly before changing his mind and knocking aggressively.
"Get up, Payne." When no commotion was heard from in the room, Zayn sighed heavily and plopped on the floor. “I’m not moving.” He said to no one.
Niall popped his head out of his door a few minutes later. “Hey, man, I’m glad it’s you. Louis is a proper ass right now.” He pulled out a room key from his back pocket. Zayn was sure Niall was some brand of modern leprechaun. “Here, I nicked it from his room yesterday after the fight with Louis. Knew it would come in handy.” Niall winked and slunk back into his room. Zayn was never more grateful for that little buffoon.
He opened the door slowly, as if expecting the worst (which was almost too dramatic, he chastised himself). "Liam?" he said softly. Liam sniffed a little from his bed. From where Zayn was standing, only the brown stubble of Liam’s hair was visible. The rest of him was bundled in to his comforter, attempting to curl into himself and away from everything. Zayn just wanted to hug him.
"Liam, mate…can I cuddle you a bit?" He dropped the bags at the foot of the bed. A quiet ‘yes please' came from the pile of blankets and Zayn was suddenly reminded of a different Liam Payne, a more vulnerable one. It was sometimes hard to forget he was still the same person.
Zayn climbed on the bed, staying on top of the covers while bundling as much of Liam and his comforters into his arms as possible. He nosed at Liam’s neck while settling in comfortably. After a few minutes, Zayn lifted his head up and nuzzled lightly just behind Liam’s ear. "I am so proud of you." He whispered earnestly, thinking of that sad and lonely boy Liam was all those years ago and how brilliant he’s become.
Liam burst into tears.
And he couldn’t stop.
He turned around and buried his face into Zayn’s collar, eager to hide himself away in the crevice between his shoulder and neck for the rest of his life. Zayn pet Liam’s head, trying to ignore his own breaking heart.
"I’m proud of who you are today, even if sometimes you make shit decisions. I’m proud of your talent, your strength, your heart. I could go on. I’m just proud of you."
"I’ve become such an idiot."
"But you’re our idiot." Zayn almost vomited a little at his own words. When did he become such a walking cliche? Right, since this fucking beautiful boy walked into his life. "And we love you. Even Louis."
Liam laughed wetly.
"Do you know why I love you, Liam?"
"I’ve got an idea."
"Well here’s a reminder. I love you because no matter what shit you do, no matter how much you fuck up, I can believe with everything in my body that you are a good person and that you will always be a good person. You’re only human, Liam. You’ve been through a lot. Not everyone is perfect."
"I’m just so tired." Liam cried.
"I know." Zayn pressed a kiss to his head. "But guess what? You don’t have to be tired alone. Ever. That sixteen year old boy left alone at his own party doesn’t have to be afraid anymore, got it?"
"You always have to bring that up, don’t you?"
"It’s only because I love you!" Zayn readjusted his position purely for the purpose of giving Liam a sweet eskimo kiss. It was worth it. Liam pressed a light kiss to his mouth.
"I love you, too."
Zayn rose to sit with his back against the pile of pillows formed at the bed frame. He pulled Liam, in all his cocooned-in-blankets glory, to curl up in his lap, wanting to shield his boy from all the fucking pain that he has ever felt. It was a ridiculous notion, Zayn thought, to want to shield someone from forgotten loneliness and shit that happened years ago, but on nights like tonight he knew that Liam was still somehow afraid of being left in the dark. They all had their inner demons, but Zayn would gladly ignore his own to fight Liam's when the boy himself just couldn't. Zayn held him as tight as possible.
"I bought you some chocolate bars and kiwi. Maybe that'll cheer you up a bit, yeah?"
Before Liam could answer, there was a tentative knock at the door. "Hey, so please put some clothes on and let me in, maybe?" Niall’s voice sounded from the hall. Zayn laughed. Liam rolled off his lap, allowing Zayn to meander to the door with the purposeful speed of an obese slug.
"You’re an absolute tortoise, you are." Niall whined. "Could I get a cuddle?"
Zayn dramatically rolled his eyes and motioned for Niall to follow him. He waited for Zayn to lie down again before jumping across both of them.
"I love you guys." Niall burst. "I love you guys loads and fuckin loads."
"Where’s Louis and Harry?" Liam asked. On cue, because popstars lead such Hollywood lives, another knock sounded at the door. Niall bounded over like an overexcited kangaroo to reveal Louis and Harry standing in the hall. Louis practically ran to the bed where Zayn and Liam were still laying and all but pounced on Liam.
"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you-"
"I get it-"
"And I’m sorry!"
"I know, don’t wo-" Liam was interrupted by a not-so-sneaky frog-like Harry jumping over him. Niall followed suit with a dramatic yelp, and Liam couldn’t help but smile. Needless to say, the boys took full advantage of the low-key restriction and refused to let Liam shed another tear that night.
(And if Niall and Louis ate all of the chocolate and kiwi Zayn bought specifically for Liam, goddammit you apes, well…Zayn really shouldn’t have left the bags out anyway.)