Chapter Text
“ There is nowhere you can run that I won’t find you! I will control you one day. ”
The bright heat of white-hot flames licked along her skin, and Raven felt a hundred hands hold her to an altar, pinning her down and preventing her escape. Rough stone bit into her back, and around her she could see the fire growing higher, reaching up to the blackness of the ceiling. She struggled against the hands, cursed and spat and clawed, but she was forced to lie there, naked and bruised and splayed out for… for Blood.
He stood over her, his hands framing her face as he leaned down and kissed her forehead, his fingers sliding between her breasts, digging his short nails into her skin. Her heart was practically pounding out of her chest, but Blood’s stare was drawn to the dark rune etched into her skin. He dug his fingers deeper, as if he meant to rip the rune right from her chest.
“My beloved little gem. You are finally mine to possess. Mine to command. For eternity.”
“No!”
Raven burst up from her bed and pitched forward, fingers digging into sheets. Metrion and Zinthos cried loudly from her window, before flying off into the midnight sky. Her whole body seemed as though it was burning, as if she were on fire. She could still feel the heat from the flames against her skin, reminding of the nightmare she had just lived through.
Gasping as sweat soaked through her clothes, she pulled off her soft cotton shirt to see the rune still glowing on her chest, threading out into her veins and lighting her up before receding back into the black marks. It was still there. She was still safe. Raven stared at it, traced its familiar shape and felt the faint edge of scarring from when the needle had dug too deep, but it was still there. She was still here. Her shoulders dipped and she let go of a soft breath, her head swimming with a thousand thoughts and fears.
She drew her legs to her chest, sobbing into her hands as she wiped at her face. The comforts of her room in Azarath did nothing to help her, and she felt like she was drowning in this world, like she couldn’t get a good grasp on what was happening to her. This was the seventh nightmare she had like this, and they all started the same - the vivid memory of her last encounter with Blood, but then each one faded into different parts of his sick desire to control her and her powers. Every dream was different, but they were somehow all the same. Some of them were violent, others were sexual, and some were some twisted kind of powerplay. Raven was forced to live these moments through her dreams over and over and over, until she went mad… or she succumbed to whatever Blood was baiting her to do.
She wiped at her cheeks again, feeling under her pillow for the ticket stub she kept there. It was faded and worn, the name of the movie chipped off the paper, but something about looking at it made her feel like she still had roots on earth. It made her feel like Damian was still sitting next to her, her head resting on his shoulder as his fingers tangled with her own.
Taking a deep breath, she rested her lips against the ticket stub and thought back to the way he looked that night. They were both so nervous and shy, as if they weren’t sure what they were supposed to do next, but they knew that they wanted to keep trying. They had been in love then, but Raven was so far away from him for so long, she wasn’t sure if her feelings were still the same. And she was almost positive that Damian didn’t feel the same either. How could he? They were young and foolish, and they thought they could fix everything on their own. Besides, he probably found some beautiful Gotham socialite to drip off his arm and bat too-long eyelashes at him.
Raven closed her eyes and let the heavy silence of the room settle over her, the lack of sound almost comforting. It let her slip into an almost-trance, and for a few blissful moments, she imagined Damian resting behind her, like he had been that first night they had spent together. He would be curled around her, his arm slung over her waist and his lips pressed against the back of her neck. She imagined him there, supporting her and protecting her as she worked through this with him, like they should have done before.
Before she ran away.
“You’re so worried.”
Raven tried to imagine the sound of his voice, the way his lips pulled at vowels and rumbled in the back of his throat. Taking another deep breath, she pulled her knees closer to her chest and whispered into the silence around her. “I’m afraid.”
“Why? What worries you?”
“These dreams. They’re happening more and more, and they’re… they’re more than just nightmares. I know that. I can feel him rifling through my mind, twisting my thoughts into something they’re not. I know he’s getting closer to finding me here. Blood is invading my mind to find me, and it’s only a matter of time before he manages to come here physically .”
“So then, what do you intend to do?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice sounded weak to her own ears, like she lost the strength of will that was inside her. “It’s not safe to stay here much longer, not with Blood tracking me. I don’t want to be the reason for the monks demise. They’re in danger, and I haven’t even told them what could happen if I stay.” She pulled her arms tighter around herself, trying to hear the memories of Damian’s voice play against her own thoughts. “I’m afraid what will happen if I tell them the truth. I’ll be forced out… or worse.”
“But you’re stronger than that. You won’t let your fear consume you, and you know what you should do, Raven.”
“Blood is coming for me. I know that.” Her teeth sunk into her lower lip, and she felt the realization slip down her spine. Saying it out loud and with such finality made her realize how close she really was to destroying everything here. She needed to be smarter about this, but how? What could she possibly do? “I don’t know what to do to protect them and myself. I only know that I can’t hide here any longer. The rune on my chest won’t hold him off forever, and I know I need to find a permanent solution, but I don’t have any more answers than when I left earth two years ago.”
“Two years, seven months, and sixteen days.”
Not that Raven was counting or anything.
She opened her eyes and found her room just as dark and silent as it had been before. She was alone, she had always been alone, and there was only one way to fix it. She pressed her hand against the rune on her chest, feeling it pulse gently under her touch. Going back to earth was dangerous. Yes, she had friends and help there, but it also meant that she would be closer to Blood, and putting those same friends in the path of danger. The rune warded her while she was on earth, but it wouldn’t protect her forever. It would only be a matter of time before Blood found her and tried to consume her again. And what happened if he finally managed to break her control? Could she trust her friends to still stick with her? She didn’t know, and nothing made sense anymore.
Drawing in on herself, she closed her eyes but didn’t fall back asleep. Instead she lay there and listened to the stillness of the world around her, the slight breeze that swirled just outside her window, Metrion and Zinthos making noise a little ways away. Her heart pounded, the blood rushing into her ears, and Raven knew what she had to do. She knew she had to return to earth. The monks were peaceful, had protected her while she was young and taught her everything they could, but staying here was too dangerous.
But going back there was sure to put herself in danger, and… and her friends. She pulled her chin against her chest and let go of a soft breath, imagining the vapid smile of some girl clinging to Damian’s arm. He had his own life to live now, one without her, and if she went back, would she be able to keep herself from seeing him? The Damian of her memories had kept her company while she was in Azarath, but the Damian on earth wouldn’t be the same Damian she remembered. He had likely changed, and Raven wasn’t a part of his life anymore. She couldn’t just reappear in his life and expect everything to be the same again, she knew better.
He let go of a deep sigh, burying her face into the cool pillow under her head. But she knew that her mind was already made up. She couldn’t do this on her own. She needed help, and there was only one person she could go to who’s help she actually trusted. If Damian still believed in those words he told her years ago, then maybe she could survive this.
“I love you, you dumb idiot.”
Raven’s hand tightened around the ticket stub and she opened her eyes, staring into the complete darkness again.
She just hoped she could protect everyone from herself.