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The tingling sensation grew in his throat over the course of a few weeks, he deemed it as nothing important besides the need to drink more water. Giyuu wasn’t sure when the coughing started either, but it had. He assumed it was around the time of their latest Hashira meeting.
It was an annual meetup, nothing too crazy and they all were standing around waiting for Ubuyashiki to arrive. Giyuu usually spent this time off to the side and lost in his thoughts, but for some reason his eyes were drawn to a loud-mouthed and scar covered individual, Sanemi, the Wind Hashira. This seemingly sudden interest caused the itch in his throat to trigger a quiet cough. These coughing fits at first were soft, easy to hide and others could hardly tell unless they were focused on him (they never were). Giyuu tried to wrack his brain for the cause but nothing came to mind. A simple cold? Maybe. He figured he should have some tea before he leaves for his next mission just to be sure.
The meeting went smoothly enough and the hashira’s parted ways to do whatever called their attention at the time. The kitchen was calling Giyuu and as it turns out, he wasn’t the only one with that idea. Sanemi and Mitsuri were also on their way to the kitchen. Quietly falling into a silent step behind them, he followed the two to their similar destination. Perhaps he shouldn’t have because he felt that tickling sensation in his throat yet again and fought with his instincts to hold it in.
Like before, he typically wasn’t the type to pay much mind to the others. He assumed they all liked him and left it at that, idle chit chat was not needed, however, watching Mitsuri gush about whatever topic to Sanemi was causing him discomfort. He wouldn’t call it jealousy, but maybe slight envy? Out of all the other hashira’s, Sanemi was the one Giyuu had the hardest time getting close with.
He decided to not dwell on the topic any longer and changed his mind on the tea, wanting to hurry and busy himself with anything else. This thought took him outside and into nearby woods, nothing too dense but a nice area for someone to be alone with their thoughts. Giyuu sat himself on the dewy grass and laid down, looking up at the pleasantly cloudy morning sky, not a single thought in his mind besides the residual tingle in his throat. He let out a few good coughs to try and subside the feeling but to no avail. He hoped that maybe if he ignored it, it would go away.
Weeks after the meeting had passed and Giyuu still had the tingle in his throat. Obviously he had been on plenty of missions since but even during those the coughing plagued him, gradually getting worse over time, slowly but surely. One night as he resided at a Demon Corps rest house his crow had flown over to relay a message that a few of the slayers had been injured and were residing at the Butterfly Estate, this list included people irrelevant to Giyuu until he heard Sanemi’s name.
Giyuu suddenly sat up from his futon and held his throat with a clammy hand, coughing into the other until something soft and light was in his mouth and he spit it out. A small, white petal in his palm.
“What,” he breathed with a near hoarse voice, disbelief clear on his features and even his tone. A petal? He hadn’t remembered eating a flower so what on earth was a petal doing in his hand?
Giyuu quietly got up and slid open the door, sitting on the small porch like area and opened his palm, letting the petal get blown away by the wind. The next morning, he received another crow message that more demon slayers would be sent on joint missions to ensure less casualties, even the hashira’s.
Almost a year had passed and too many times for Giyuu to count had he been paired up with Sanemi or with someone who had had Sanemi as a partner before and deemed Giyuu a worthy talking companion to retell these events too. Giyuu couldn’t recall any times where he was particularly paying attention to Sanemi but he did know that hearing about his wild antics caused his heart to flutter, his cheeks would grow warm if they ever made eye contact, and he often found himself watching the other without realizing (though he quickly averted his eyes after). Giyuu had no clue why he was so stuck on Sanemi. He had only been rude with him, on missions he refused to rely on Giyuu and often left him on his own to defend against whatever demon while he went off as well, and eating together while on missions was unheard of.
The coughing hadn’t left Giyuu, not in the slightest. In fact, it only grew worse, to the point where Giyuu would often have to excuse himself from groups so he could privately cough out enough petals to form a few flowers. It was rapidly growing worse as each week passed. If Giyuu didn’t cough out any amount of petals for at least an hour he would start to feel nauseous.
People were starting to pick up on his habitual leaving, asking him what was wrong but he could never give them an answer. How was he supposed to explain the petals? He hadn’t heard of a medical case like it before. And in the span of a month, making it a whole two years now, he had been plagued with this disease. He went from just singular petals to petals and entire flowers.
Coughing up flowers was agonizingly painful. Giyuu would excuse himself and kneel over in pain, coughing so hard his throat felt raw and he choked as the flower wedged his way out of his mouth, bursts of petals coming with it. His eyes brimmed with tears each time and he had no explanation as to why he was dealing with this strange and unheard of illness.
After an excessively painful coughing fit, Giyuu laid on the ground and heaved in cool winter air to soothe his burning throat, tears drying on his cheeks. He couldn’t figure out what was causing this. There had to be a reason. He laid there with his eyes closed and searched his brain for whatever clues he could find.
He didn’t know how long he had been laying on the ground until it clicked. He opened his eyes and stared at the pine trees above him.
“It’s.. him” He says softly, throat still a bit sore.
“Sanemi, he’s why...” He trailed off, his eyes widening at the realization.
Sanemi was there at the pillar meeting when the coughing started, it grew worse the more he was around him, heard about him, or even thought about him. Giyuu laughed a sad pitiful laugh, closing his eyes again.
Of course, it all made sense to him now. He liked Sanemi. More than a friend, a companion, a fellow hashira, no. He was feeling something he wasn’t even entirely aware that he could feel anymore. Love. He loved Sanemi. Loved the way he looked as he took out yet another disgusting demon, the way he could see the hint of a smile when he was given ohagi, even the way Sanemi looked at him in mild distaste. He still loved him, yet it was obvious Sanemi did not return the feelings. Why would he?
Giyuu’s laugh grew quiet until he realized he was not laughing anymore, but letting out quiet sobs instead. How stupid was he, falling in love with someone he maybe had five conversations with in all the years of knowing him, oh he felt like a complete fool.
He could imagine Sabito laughing at his foolishness, finding it so absurd that he would fall in love with someone like that. Giyuu wouldn’t blame Sabito for that comment, he wouldn’t be wrong. He laid in the snow for what felt like decades, not getting up until long after his tears had dried and his face and limbs grew numb. He went inside to warm up and continue his routine, the realization heavy in his heart and mind.
***
The next morning Giyuu was lucky enough to get sent on a solo mission, he wouldn’t have to deal with anyone except the demon he had to take out. A wonderful situation if only it didn’t include a two weeks travel to get there. He had no clue what could happen in two weeks time let alone what would happen on his way there. He could run into other members of the Demon Corp that might want to accompany him, which wouldn’t be ideal considering his current predicament.
Giyuu set forth on his venture, which turned out to be a lot harder than he could have ever imagined. Apparently realizing his unrequited love made his ailment worse, his throat burning as time went on no matter how much water he drank and even the slightest cough could cause a few petals to come out. His throat had a constant feeling of something being stuck but he knew if he tried coughing it out he would just cause more pain. He was forced to continue going on missions without telling anyone, he still didn’t know how to explain it. Plus, socializing wasn’t really in his forte so even trying to find someone to explain it to would be an entire issue on its own.
This current mission carried out a lot longer than he could have ever imagined. There were roughly 4-5 demons to his knowledge, all of them having eaten a good amount of humans. Giyuu was so upset with himself for not getting over this sickness. If he had, he wouldn’t be in this troubling situation and he wouldn’t be struggling so hard to kill these demons. He could barely use any of his breathing techniques and with a demon currently on his tail, things weren’t looking too hot.
Giyuu sucked in the largest breath he could manage and pushed forward, leaving a solid 7 mile space between them. As soon as he stopped moving he collapsed to the ground, gagging and coughing loudly as tears streamed down his face. He nearly clawed at his throat as he fought to get air in and the flowers out. His vision started turning black at the edges as he coughed more and more, finally managing to throw up a few flowers. The harder he coughed the worse his vision got. He felt tearing in his throat as he hacked and dry heaved, a flower slowly working it’s way out but it was just resting in his mouth. Giyuu had no choice but to reach a shaky hand up and pull the flower out, practically sobbing as he slowly pulled out a whole flower, stem and all.
After agonizing pain that seemed to last hours he had the large flower and stem out, exhaustion overtaking his body making him collapse to the ground. His body ached and shivered with small tremors, sobs leaving his mouth as his tears wet the ground underneath him. His mind was screaming at him to move and get away before the demons could catch up. With the blood that came up as he pulled out the flower and stem making his scent stronger and he had no way to conceal himself, his body just trembled on the cool ground.
As he laid there, his thoughts of running away drifted further from his consciousness; just left with the trembling of his body, the aching in his throat, his vision turning black, and the feeling of weird calmness. Had he accepted his fate? Was this where he would die? His eyes drifted close before he felt a presence in front of him, causing him to look up towards it. It was Sabito, just as he remembered him.
“Tomioka? What are you doing,” He asked with a soft look, “Don’t tell me you’re giving up. That’s not like you.”
Giyuu didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t speak even if he tried. He felt guilty now, having his dear friend see him in such a state. He wanted to apologize for everything, for being weak now and then, for not being able to save Sabito during selection, and not being able to save himself now. Sabito continued on.
“Where’s you’re fighting spirit? Tomioka don’t give up yet! You’ve dealt with other hard situations haven’t you?” Sabito peered at Giyuu and kneeled down, brushing the flower petals with his fingertips.
He lifted a petal and Giyuu’s eyes followed his movements, “Hanahaki… Tomioka, why don’t you rely on people more? Is it because of what happened to me?” He paused and gave him a soft smile. “You’re new friends are strong, Tomioka. Rely on them- oh.. Speaking of your friends, here comes one now. Stay strong, Tomioka.”
With one slow blink, Sabito was gone and Giyuu was left with the sight of the demon group charging at him. His hands struggled to find purchase on the ground to lift himself up, causing him to hack and cough again, more sobs ripped from his throat as he coughed out flowers and blood. In the haze of his tears and crying, he heard the shrieks of demons and yelling of someone. They sounded triumphant and familiar but he didn’t have the energy to piece out on voice alone.
Giyuu let himself fall to the ground, his head turned to watch the blurry sight before him, realizing someone was slaying the demons for him. He watched the flash of white and black dart around before all 5 of the demons after him were slain, their bodies dusting as he lightly coughed up flower petals. The person who had killed them ran over to Giyuu, calling out his name but he could only hear it faintly. As they finally got closer and dropped to their knees before him, Giyuu realized his savior was Sanemi, the one person he didn’t really want to see.
“Giyuu you dumbass! What happened to you? It was these damn demons, wasn't it?” Sanemi huffed and lifted Giyuu up, “C’mon, fuck! Where are our crows?! Shit, you look like absolute ass.”
Giyuu let out a small huff of amusement, leaning against the other male as petals surrounded them. Sanemi had no issue picking Giyuu up and ran towards the exit of the woods, planning on taking the injured male to the Butterfly Estate asap. Giyuu watched Sanemi as he ran, watching his face and could see the small hints of concern, causing slight pangs in his heart. He figured now would be as good a time as any, and mustered up all the strength so he could speak.
“Sanemi,” He started, squeezing his eyes shut in pain before continuing. “Sanemi, I like you. I.. hahaha.. I like you.”
Sanemi looked down at him and put a hand over his mouth and shook his head, seemingly dismissing the comment.
“Save your strength idiot, we’ll be there soon.” Was the last thing Giyuu heard before finally passing out.
***
The sound of chirping and warmth on his face and hand woke Giyuu up from his sleep. He slowly sat up and blinked the sleep from his eyes looking around the room, unaware of where he was. Slowly, as his memories came back to him, it clicked, The Butterfly Estate. That must have meant Sanemi actually took him there after finding him. Giyuu shook his head and went to move his hand before feeling something heavy in it, looking down only to finally notice Sanemi sitting in a chair next to his bed, asleep, and holding his hand firmly.
Giyuu was a bit taken aback by the sight, but Sanemi’s sleeping face looked so peaceful so he just watched him for a bit, caressing the man’s hand with his thumb. His throat felt numb, probably from medicine but his heart felt warm. This felt like a rare sight and Giyuu wanted to take it all in before he woke up and everything came crashing down. It would only be a matter of time before Sanemi woke up and told him his feelings were not reciprocated.
Apparently Giyuu had lost track of how long he had been watching Sanemi because he suddenly heard a cough and felt his hand be squeezed, coming face to face with a wide awake Sanemi.
“How long?” Giyuu asked simply, his voice soft and horse.
“A few minutes.” Was all he got before Sanemi let go of his hand to pass him a cup of cold water which Giyuu drank greedily.
Giyuu passed the cup back and folded his hands in his lap, looking away from Sanemi before turning and bowing to him out of politeness.
“Thank you for your help back there. It was foolish for m-” Sanemi cut him off.
“Did you mean it?”
Giyuu blinked, “Mean what?”
“What you said. That you liked me.”
Silence.
“Based on how you were looking at me just now, It’s a yes, huh?”
Giyuu felt ashamed and he couldn’t bring himself to answer, a tightness in his chest and his face heated up. He clenched his jaw as he felt his eyes grow warm as they spilled over with tears. He wasn’t a cryer but this situation was so sensitive, so important and dear that his emotions overflowed. He couldn’t bare answering. He knew he wasn’t on the best terms with Sanemi no matter how hard he tried and this would only set them back any further. He didn’t want to cough up flowers anymore and he didn’t want to confess to Sanemi either and be ridiculed.
In the midst of his panic, solid and warm arms enveloped Giyuu and pulled him against a broad chest. Giyuu sniffled and wiped his tears away with the sleeves of his shirt, looking up at Sanemi who had a stern face (with a hint of a blush but Giyuu wasn’t so sure) and opened his mouth to speak before he was cut off.
“Don’t pull a stupid stunt like this again. You’re lucky Shinobu isn’t an idiot and knew how the hell to help you.” Sanemi said in a low tone, averting his eyes as he paused to think.
“She told me about it, called it something like ‘Hanahaki Disease’? Unrequited love feelings or some shit, I don’t remember and it’s not important now.”
Giyuu sucked in a breath and braced himself for the worst, squeezing his eyes shut to stop any potential tears from falling, not wanting to cry anymore because of this. He waited for the rejection to come but Sanemi didn’t continue to speak. This prompted Giyuu to open his eyes and look up.
Sanemi’s face was dusted with a pink blush with his eyes averted. Giyuu watched him and started to pull away, not able to take the silence any longer. He accepted it as a no and wanted to get away, deal with his emotions on his own. Sanemi felt Giyuu shift and push away, causing him to dart forward and put a hand on his chin, pulling his face towards his own until their lips touched and they were in a tender kiss.
Sanemi held the shocked Giyuu there for a few moments, licking his bottom lip before pulling away, both of them with blushes now. Giyuu’s eyes were wide as he stared at Sanemi, opening his mouth to speak but no words came out. He was speechless. Sanemi was flustered and looked away, huffing and clearing his throat.
“This better answer your damn question, stop looking at me like that.” He muttered, but Giyuu could see that his ears were pink too.
Giyuu sat with Sanemi on the bed and watched him for a bit, warmth spreading all over his body but overflowing in his heart. He reached up to touch his lips before a small smile spread across his face. Giyuu nodded to himself, this definitely answered his question and he could definitely say that he hasn’t felt happier in years.