Chapter Text
Taking lives was an unfortunate reality of war, and no matter how many times the blood of his victims coated his lance, Sylvain had never gotten used to it. Sitting astride his horse, he let out a yell as he thrust his lance into yet another unlucky imperial soldier. They crumpled to the ground, blood staining the grass below the now lifeless body. Sylvain’s face scrunched up with disgust. What a pointless waste of life.
Suddenly, his horse reared up, startled by a fireball landing at its feet. Sylvain lost his balance and fell to the ground with a grunt, while his horse quickly fled the scene. He jumped to his feet and parried an ax aimed for his head just in time. He delivered a swift kick to his attacker’s gut, knocking them to the ground before he permanently silenced them with a follow up jab with his lance. Panting heavily, Sylvain’s eyes darted around to survey his surroundings, and he quickly realized that he was in a dangerous position.
Three archers had arrows trained on him, and without being on his horse, Sylvain had no chance of dodging all three of them if fired at the same time. Clenching his jaw, he prepared to make an attempt anyway, and the arrows were loosed with jarring twangs of the bowstrings.
Miraculously, none of the arrows made it to their intended mark, for a horse suddenly appeared before Sylvain, and he immediately recognized the purple armor of its rider. Time seemed to slow as Sylvain could only watch as Lorenz easily struck down the three archers with a perfectly executed Ragnarok spell, but not before two of the arrows pierced through his armor and embedded themselves in his shoulder and gut. He fell from his horse, and Sylvain’s blood ran cold as he scrambled to Lorenz’s side.
“Lorenz! You idiot!” Sylvain said, cursing as he quickly knelt down beside him, eyes wide with fear. Blood had already started seeping out from where the arrows had buried themselves into his flesh. Sylvain cringed as he looked around for the nearest person who knew healing magic.
“Ah, Sylvain…” Lorenz said, his breathing ragged, “I...made it in time. I am so glad…”
“Why the fuck did you get in the way? Of all the stupid things to do!” Sylvain growled, standing up as he slipped his arms under Lorenz’s and started dragging him in Marianne’s direction. “Hold this!” Sylvain shoved his lance at Lorenz, and he set his arm over it, just barely keeping it from slipping to the ground.
“I...I could not bare to see you...hurt.” Lorenz said in response, and Sylvain’s heart clenched. “You...you mean so...much to me.”
“Well, same here.” Sylvain grumbled, dropping Lorenz unceremoniously to grab his lance and dispose of a charging enemy. Sylvain bent over to grab Lorenz to start dragging him again, but froze when Lorenz’s hand brushed his cheek, a wetness smearing across his face: blood. Lorenz’s face had grown deathly pale, and sweat beaded on his forehead. This was not good.
“Sylvain, I must tell you...how I truly feel.” Lorenz choked out, blood oozing from the corner of his mouth and regret apparent in his amethyst eyes. “Despite all of the ugliness of this war, of this life...you are like a b-beautiful rose in the darkness...my rose...my...my love…”
“Now is not the time to be poetic, dumbass!” Sylvain said, his voice cracking and betraying his fear as he moved to pick him back up. He then realized exactly what Lorenz had said, and he almost let go of him as his jaw dropped in shock.
“L-Love?”
“I...I love you, Sylvain…” Lorenz whispered, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes as his eyelids slowly started to slip shut. Sylvain’s heart dropped and he blanched. No, no, no...this was not happening. Tears welled up in his eyes as he smacked Lorenz’s cheeks to keep him awake. He was not letting Lorenz die after a confession like that, especially not before he could respond properly.
“Please...please Lorenz, you can’t die here.” Sylvain pleaded, tears streaming down his face. Lorenz’s eyes opened slightly, and he winced as Sylvain resumed his task of dragging him closer to the healers. Lorenz started mumbling incoherently, and Sylvain noticed that the bleeding of his wounds had gotten worse. Shit! He dropped to his knees, his hands hovering over Lorenz’s body as he tried to think of something to do in his borderline hysterical state.
“Sylvain, please move!”
A small hand grabbed Sylvain by the arm and yanked him away from Lorenz, and he blinked in confusion as he turned to see Marianne kneeling down next to him, her hands glowing white with healing magic.
“I-I can’t take the arrows out here. He will bleed to death. We need to get him back to the monastery's infirmary.” she said, her brow furrowed in concentration, and the bleeding around Lorenz’s wounds seemed to lessen slightly. Sylvain’s mouth opened and closed a few times, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. He really couldn’t say anything at the moment anyway, as he was trying and failing to choke down his sobs. A shaky hand suddenly grabbed one of his, and Sylvain locked eyes with Lorenz, who smiled weakly at him.
“S-Sylvain…” he breathed, and Sylvain cupped his face and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
“Lorenz...you better not die...I-I can’t just leave your confession hanging like that…” Sylvain finally managed to say, and Lorenz let out a weak chuckle in response as his eyes slipped shut.
“I will...try my best...I am...Lorenz Hellman...Gloucester...after all.” Sylvain couldn’t bring himself to laugh at the tired old joke as Lorenz fell unconscious, his breathing light and weak.
“I think the battle is ending. Can you carry him, Sylvain?” Marianne asked as she stood up. Sylvain nodded and gathered his broken lover into his arms, clinging to him for dear life. They took off to meet up with the rest of the army, and Sylvain prayed hard to the goddess that they could save the man who loved him, and the man that he loved so much in return.
*
Sylvain didn’t know how long he had been standing outside the door of the infirmary, with his forehead pressed against the wall and his mind in agonizing turmoil as he desperately waited for any news about Lorenz’s condition. Manuela had not said much when Sylvain had rushed Lorenz into the infirmary, but the grim look on her face was not a good sign, and that scared Sylvain to death.
“Sylvain, you stupid idiot…” he hissed through grit teeth, fresh tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he smacked his forehead against the wall a few times. Lorenz loved him...why hadn’t he realized that sooner? More importantly, why didn’t he realize that he loved Lorenz too?
Now that he actually thought about it, it was so godsdamn obvious. Their complicated relationship had started out as mostly a physical thing, but lately it felt like they had been getting closer emotionally. Sylvain had found himself seeking Lorenz’s company far more often, outside of their bedroom escapades, and he quickly found that Lorenz was one of the most noble men he had ever met, in every sense of the word. He was still a bit pompous and dramatic, but he was always ready to lend a helping hand to those who needed it, and his aspirations as the future leader of his noble house were something that Sylvain admired. He was increasingly sad and lonely when not enjoying Lorenz’s company, a fact that he had stubbornly kept to himself out of embarrassment, but now he was regretting not being honest with himself and Lorenz about his true feelings.
Lorenz loved Sylvain, and, because of his own hesitation, Sylvain might never be able to tell Lorenz that he loved him back. He let out a frustrated yell and slammed his fist against the wall, the tears he had been trying to hold back finally spilling down his face.
“Sylvain?”
Flinching as the voice hit his ears, he slowly turned his head to find Ingrid looking at him, a small smile on her face that didn’t reach her eyes. Sylvain gulped as he pushed off of the wall and rubbed his arm over his face to clear away the tears. Ingrid hesitated for a moment, before she reached out and placed a gentle hand on his arm.
“Have...you heard anything yet?” she asked, her voice soft and sympathetic. He shook his head, taking in a deep, shaky breath and letting it out slowly. Silence fell between them, and Ingrid gently took his hands in hers and gave them a light squeeze.
“Are you okay? I’ve never seen you so upset.” Ingrid said. Sylvain sniffed and shook his head again, letting out a humorless chuckle.
“I’ve never felt so upset.” he said bitterly. He then sighed and wrapped his arms around himself, his gaze shifting to the floor. “Ingrid...after he was shot, Lorenz...he called me his rose...he told me...that he loved me.” His voice dropped in volume as he spoke, and Ingrid’s eyes widened as she gasped.
“Oh gods, he really said that?”
“Yeah...and I...I love him too.” Sylvain brought a hand to his face as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks, and he let himself be pulled into Ingrid’s embrace. She gently guided his head to her shoulder, and he let out the sobs he had been trying to hold back as he clutched her arms.
“I’m such a fucking idiot.” Sylvain said between sobs, “I was too stupid to realize it sooner, and now I...I might never get the chance to tell him how I really feel.”
“Don’t talk like that.” Ingrid said, wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his back gently. “Lorenz is strong and stubborn. He will make it through this. He has you to wake up to, after all.” Sylvain smiled against her shoulder as he finally managed to stop crying, and he lifted his head up to meet her gaze.
“You’re right. I know he’ll pull through. Thank you, Ingrid.” Sylvain said, his voice coming out a bit hoarse from his sobbing. Ingrid smiled brightly and reached up, wiping away the stray tears from his face.
“Anytime. We’re best friends, remember. You can always count on me to help you out in the hard times, okay?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Suddenly, the door to the infirmary opened, and Manuela stepped out, quietly closing the door behind her. She turned and jumped a bit when she saw Sylvain and Ingrid standing in the hallway.
“Oh, Sylvain, Ingrid. You startled me!” she said, and Sylvain’s heart was beating a mile a minute as he took a step closer to her.
“How...How’s Lorenz?” he asked, holding his breath as he waited for her answer.
“He...will pull through.” Manuela said, a tired smile crossing her face. A wave of relief washed through Sylvain as he slowly let out the breath he had been holding. Thank the gods.
“Can I see him?” Sylvain asked. Manuela hesitated a moment, before she shrugged and nodded.
“I don’t see why not. He is still resting, but he might wake up soon. Just you, though.” she said, casting a glance at Ingrid.
“I’ll go tell the others the good news.” Ingrid said, smiling at Sylvain as she gently squeezed his hands.
“Thanks.” Sylvain said, and he watched for a moment as Ingrid walked off with Manuela, who was lamenting about needing a good, stiff drink after this long day. Sylvain smiled slightly, before he opened the door to the infirmary and walked in.
Lorenz was the lone occupant of the room; luckily there were no other serious injuries in the most recent battle. Sylvain made his way to the bed where his lover lay, chest rising up and down evenly as he quietly slept. He sat down in the chair next to the bed and took Lorenz’s hand. It was soft and warm, and Sylvain entwined their fingers together, relishing in the simple contact.
Sylvain’s gaze shifted to Lorenz. His injured shoulder and chest were covered in bandages, and Sylvain guessed that under the blankets, his torso made for a similar site. His hair was disheveled and sprawled out over the pillow that his head rested on, and his face looked peaceful as he slept, soft breaths of air being pulled in and out of his slightly parted lips. Sylvain thought that he was so beautiful, but most importantly, he was alive.
A loud groan suddenly pierced the silence of the room, and the hand that Sylvain was holding squeezed around his own. Lorenz shifted on the bed, and his eyes slowly opened, blinking a few times to adjust to the light. Tears of happiness threatened to spill down Sylvain’s face, continuing today’s trend of crying his eyes out, but he managed to hold back.
“Ugh...where…?” Lorenz mumbled, wincing in pain when he tried to prop himself up with the arm attached to his injured shoulder. His eyes then went to his hand that was grasping Sylvain’s, and then amethyst eyes met earthy brown ones.
“S-Sylvain?” Lorenz breathed, eyes wide as he let go of his hand and brought it up to cup Sylvain’s cheek. A small smile crossed Sylvain’s face as his hand moved to cover Lorenz’s.
“Hey. How’re you feeling?”
“Absolutely terrible.” Lorenz said, and Sylvain snorted to stifle a laugh, “I feel like I was trampled on by 50 armored horses.”
“More like impaled by two arrows.” Sylvain said, and the smile fell from his face and was replaced with a serious frown. “Speaking of, that was really, really fucking stupid of you.” Lorenz flinched at the vulgar language, but Sylvain didn’t care. He was a little miffed that Lorenz had almost thrown his life away for his sake.
“Ah, well…” Lorenz mumbled, averting his gaze, “I...do admit that my actions were a bit rash. I just…” He paused as he worried his lower lip between his teeth. “I seem to lose all sense of reason when it comes to you, Sylvain.” Sylvain was silent for a moment, before he sighed and shook his head.
“You dumbass.” Sylvain ignored Lorenz’s pout in response, “I was really scared, you know. I thought you were going to die.” He gulped as he remembered exactly how scared he had been, and a guilty look appeared in Lorenz’s eyes.
“I-I am sorry, Sylvain. You...I just...ah…” Lorenz said, his words coming out as mumbles. A small smile crossed Sylvain’s face. He knew what Lorenz was trying to say, so he would help him out a bit.
“Do you remember what you said to me, after you got shot?”
Lorenz’s brow furrowed as he took a moment to think. “Ah, no, my memory is a bit fuzzy at the moment. I remember falling off of my horse, but the rest is a blur.”
“Ah, well,” Sylvain said, taking both of Lorenz’s hands in his, “You...said I was your rose...and that you loved me.” Lorenz was silent for a moment, his eyes wide and his jaw dropping, and Sylvain had to try really hard to refrain from laughing at how silly he looked.
“I...I what?” Lorenz finally managed to squeak out, his face flushing a bright red in color. Sylvain let a chuckle slip this time, and Lorenz visibly swallowed and nervously averted his gaze.
“I-I think I do recall...saying those words to you.” Lorenz continued, turning his face away from Sylvain, who tilted his head, confused. “I really should have kept that to myself. I know that you could never feel the same way about me, as insufferable and inadequate as I am.” Sylvain blinked at him. This...did not sound like Lorenz. Where was his infallible confidence that was borderline arrogance?
“Just forget I said it, I do not want to ruin our-” Lorenz rambled on, but he was cut off when Sylvain grabbed his head and pulled it back towards him so that he could silence him with a tender kiss. The rest of his sentence was swallowed up as Lorenz sighed into Sylvain’s mouth, and the latter could practically feel the tension ooze out of the former. They parted after a moment, and Sylvain held a finger up to Lorenz’s lips when he tried to speak again.
“Shut up and listen to me.” Sylvain said, and Lorenz’s mouth snapped shut and he nodded slightly.
“Look, I don’t know where you got the idea that I could never feel the same way about you, because it’s just not true. Because, to be honest, Lorenz, I...I love you too. I think I have for a while now, I just...was too dense to realize it, until the fear of losing you made me come to my senses.” Sylvain paused to gently squeeze Lorenz’s hands, as he noticed his beautiful amethyst eyes had taken on a watery sheen. “I’ve said that I’ve been in love before, with people who only loved me for my nobility or crest, but it was never true love. Until now, that is. You...you’re different than all the others, Lorenz. It would have absolutely killed me if you had died today.”
Silence filled the room as Sylvain waited patiently for Lorenz to process his words. He closed his eyes as he took in a shaky breath, and Sylvain reached up to wipe away a few tears that ran down his face.
“Sylvain, are you...certain?” Lorenz said, and the look of disbelief in his eyes was like a knife to Sylvain’s heart.
“Yes, of course I am. Why is it so hard to believe?”
“I just…” Lorenz paused, biting his lip, “For as long as I can remember, I was told that love was never important when it came to finding a lifelong partner. All that mattered was finding a noble with good ‘breeding’. I never thought that anyone would ever actually fall in love with me, or I with anyone. It is...a new and terrifying feeling. If you told me you didn’t feel the same way, I might have just died on the spot.” Sylvain barked out a laugh, and Lorenz pouted and narrowed his eyes.
“Do you have to be so dramatic all the time?” Sylvain said with a smirk. Lorenz rolled his eyes.
“You just said that it would have killed you if I had died. And you are calling me dramatic?”
“Er,” Sylvain felt his face heat up as he rubbed at his neck, “Yeah, I guess you have a point there.” A bright smile finally spread across Lorenz’s face, and Sylvain marveled at the beauty of it. “But seriously, fuck all of that bullshit noble crap. We’ve gotta take charge of our own lives, Lorenz. If our families don’t like it, they can fuck off.”
“I...would have to agree, although I would have said it with a bit more tact.” Lorenz said, pursing his lips. Sylvain laughed and stole a light kiss from Lorenz’s lips, and his heart leapt when he felt him smile against his lips.
“I love you, Lorenz.” Sylvain said when he pulled away, and Lorenz’s eyes were filled with adoration as he brushed the back of his hand over Sylvain’s cheek.
“And I love you, my beautiful rose.” Lorenz said.
“Why a rose? My hair is orange, not red you know.”
“Roses come in more than just one color.” Lorenz said, rolling his eyes. “Different colors for different occasions. I do believe orange roses represent fascination, passion, enthusiasm, attraction, and...desire.” His voice dropped low as he said the last word, and Sylvain grinned.
“Yeah, that sounds like me.”
“How humble of you.” Lorenz’s said, sighing as he rolled his eyes. “Not that I disagree.”
“What about purple?”
“Purple symbolizes majesty, royalty, adoration, and fascination.” Sylvain took Lorenz’s hand and lifted it to his lips, and he placed a tender kiss on his knuckles.
“That definitely sounds like you.” Sylvain whispered against his hand, and Lorenz’s face flushed a bright red as he turned his head away and ran his hand through his hair. His face then scrunched up with a look of disgust, which confused Sylvain.
“What?”
“Eh, my hair feels...gross. I will need to take a very long bath when I get out of here.” Lorenz mumbled, and Sylvain’s eyes lit up as he leaned in close to Lorenz’s face.
“Hmm, well, in your wounded condition, you may need someone to help you wash those...hard to reach places.” Sylvain said, his tongue poking out of his mouth to swipe over his lips seductively. Lorenz swallowed thickly and shifted uncomfortably on the bed.
“How rude of you to tease me so when I am in no such state to do anything about it.” Lorenz grumbled, huffing as he crossed his arms over his chest. “But...I rather like your idea, but only if you are the one volunteering for the job.”
“Oh, you know it.” Sylvain said, chuckling as he kissed Lorenz again. “I wouldn’t let anyone else take care of my rose like that. Not that anyone else could do as good of a job as me.” Lorenz rolled his eyes and chuckled.
“You are insufferable.”
“I know, but you still love me.”
“...You are not wrong.”
Laughter filled the infirmary as the two lovers embraced, and soon their lips met again, hearts filled with happiness and love for one another. Sylvain never thought that he would be compared to a rose of all things, but he found that he didn’t mind it all that much, as long as it was coming from the purple rose that matched his orange.