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Wonwoo’s ears perk up in alarm as he hears a faint click from the front door. It only means one thing: Myungeun is coming home. He stands up straight and starts to clean up his mess. All paperwork, journals, a couple of historical books he’s currently reading are all over his desk. The drawers are opened, pillows are lying on the floor and the bedcovers are thrown back. He can’t let himself get killed by Myungeun for turning their room into a shipwreck, not when he is one step closer in executing his plan.
Wonwoo has his grand plan laid out. On Monday, next week, when they both get a day off, Wonwoo will take her out to the amusement park. Myungeun has been wanting to go there since months ago, but since they have been so busy with their jobs, they barely get enough time to go. After spending a day in an amusement park, right when the sun goes down, they will head straight home. Wonwoo will ask her to go to the rooftop of their apartment, drag her (gently) if he needs to. So when the sun goes down, the orange rays of sunset illuminate her beautiful face, he will get down on one knee, pulling out a diamond ring worth a couple of months of his saving, and say “You’re the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Will you marry me?” (Wait, no. Wonwoo writes down a mental note to find a better choice of words). But, the thing is, when everything is settled, his clumsy-ass lost the diamond ring. Wonwoo swears he put the ring box inside his drawer yesterday. When he checked the drawer a few hours ago, just in case, the box was puff! Gone. He tears the room apart but the box is nowhere to be seen.
Wonwoo is about to put the pillows in its usual place when he hears Myungeun screams. It is probably nothing, but he shoots himself out of the room in instant, running towards her voice. He finds Myungeun is staring at the coats hanger stand in horror. When she senses that Wonwoo is there, she points at it and says.
“I want to hang my cardigan but he is staring at me.”
Wonwoo follows her tiny index finger and finds an ugly giant moth lies comfortably on his jacket.
“How do you know that it is a he?” He frowns, grabbing an umbrella in front of him, ready to fight.
Myungeun tiptoes away from the hanger and hides behind him. “I don’t know. I just guess.” She shrugs, hands clutching onto his shirt. “Please get rid of him. BUT! But, don’t kill him. Just shoo him out.”
Wonwoo opens the front door and carefully nudges at the giant moth, secretly hoping it won’t fly. Because if it does, Myungeun will freak out, and if she does, he will freak out too. It is surely uncool, and he always wants to look cool in front of Myungeun, even though they have been together for more than three years.
Unfortunately, the giant moth does fly. Myungeun shrills and Wonwoo can feel she tightens her grip onto his shirt. He waves around the umbrella at the giant moth, trying to shoo it away. Meanwhile, Myungeun isn’t helping at all, she keeps making a high pitched sound like a dolphin and every time the giant moth flies a little low, she raises her voice an octave.
When the tip cup of the umbrella accidentally hits the giant moth, Myungeun slaps his shoulder lightly and pipes.
“Don’t hurt him!”
“I didn’t! And look!” Wonwoo lowers down the umbrella as he sees the giant moth, finally, flies out through the door. “Case closed.”
He puts down the umbrella and lets out a big sigh. He feels his head pounding and throbbing, wondering about how could he lost a ring worth his lifetime, thinking about his ruined plan and how to make it up. Not realizing Myungeun’s eyes glued at him, he walks to the kitchen, fully ignoring Myungeun who is shadowing him the whole time.
“What’s wrong?”
Wonwoo glances at her as he opens the refrigerator. “Nothing. Milk?” He takes out a carton of milk and pours it into a glass.
Myungeun shakes her head, “You sighed.”
Wonwoo’s eyes are on hers as he gulps a glass of milk in a matter of seconds. “I didn’t. How’s your work? Do you want me to heat the Salisbury steaks for dinner?”
There is doubt in her eyes and he can see it. Wonwoo knows Myungeun doesn’t believe him when he said nothing’s wrong. For a half minute, she doesn’t move. Her shoulders are tensed, arms are crossed and she stands up straight with her eyes never leave him. He is expecting her to bombard him with questions, but to his surprise, she replies to his question instead.
“There was one homeless patient caught with hypothermia.” Wonwoo watches her closely as she raises her hands to tie her hair in a loose knot. A few strands fall out of her tie, which most of the time, she would complain about her wild uncontrollable hair, especially that time she has to push her hair back whenever she treats a patient. But Wonwoo finds it perfect framing her oval face.
Myungeun places herself on a kitchen stool, and that is Wonwoo’s cue to find a comfortable position to listen to her talking about her day at work. He leans into the refrigerator with his arms crossed, paying close attention at her. Doing his job as a psychiatrist helps him to be a better listener.
“She was keep mumbling. We weren’t so worried about it since we know it’s one of the symptoms. We rewarmed her core temperature and let her rest. But when she woke up, she started asking, “Where am I? What did you do to me?” like she seems so agitated. We decided to call the Department of Psychiatry to help us. She finally calmed down after Jisoo eonni told me to push 2mg of Ativan.”
Myungeun presses her lips together, her eyes wander around the room, and Wonwoo knows it well—it is her way to hold back her tears. When her eyes finally land on Wonwoo’s, she whispered.
“The Social Service will take her, right? We checked her background, and she has no one to call. No husband, no kids, no family. None at all.”
Instead of answering her, Wonwoo walks up to her, wrapping his arms around her, and pulling her closer. He can smell her strawberry shampoo faintly as he pats her head gently. He feels her hugging him back, circling her arms on his waists.
This is the thing about Myungeun, she cares about other people, sometimes way too much that she has to sacrifice her feelings. Once Myungeun told him that the ultimate reason why she chose to go to nursing school after she graduated from high school was that she wanted to help people. (“Or maybe I will meet a fine good looking doctor then we fall in love!” she teased with a sing a song tone that day. Well, she was right. She did meet a doctor and fall in love). She is so sunshine, every time they get a new patient, Myungeun will welcome them warmly. It’s not because she loves to have a new patient, of course not, but she argues that as a nurse and a doctor, they have to radiate positive energy. That’s what their patients need the most to recover.
Treating her patients fuels her energy, but on the other side, it also drains all of her feelings. There was one time Myungeun hit the lowest point of her life when they failed to save a ten years old boy who suffered from a severe head injury caused by a car crash which led him into brain death. Myungeun was there in the room when Jiae declared his time of death. Beside her, his mother was bawling on her knees, kept saying that she could still feel his son’s pulse, that she could still see his chest rise and fall with every breath he took from the ventilator. The sight of ten years old boy lying helplessly in front of her, a mother who was mourning for her ten years old son beside her, was too much for Myungeun to take. It broke her heart, shattered in pieces. She did her job, as usual, being a bright and cheerful nurse that could draw a smile on her patients’ face, but Wonwoo was the one who woke up in the middle of the night, witnessing her sobbing in her sleep, her face scrunched up as if she was in pain.
“Hey…” Wonwoo hushed her that night, caressing her arm. It pained him to see Myungeun woke up in a gasp, eyes filled with tears.
“It’s okay. It isn’t real.” Wonwoo softly ran his fingers through her hair. Myungeun looked up to meet his eyes and sighed with relief.
“I’m just glad I’m not single.” She let Wonwoo wipe her sweat dripped in her forehead.
Wonwoo chuckled at her statement. Witnessing Myungeun’s trouble sleeping had happened for a whole week. As a psychiatrist himself, he was worried about Myungeun. One time, he offered her to prescribe some meds to help her sleep safe and sound, but she turned down the offer right away. “I have you, why would I need some meds?” she said. That’s when he swore with his life he will be there for her until his lungs give out.
“Now, what is it?”
Myungeun’s voice brings him back to reality. He looks down to find Myungeun’s eyes blinking up at him, hands still clutching on his waists. Wonwoo raises his eyebrows, giving her an unsaid “What?”
“Your head is buzzing, I can hear it. Loud and clear, you know.”
He cannot escape Myungeun’s interrogating gaze. There is no way Myungeun will let him go easily if he replies with a “nothing” again.
Wonwoo inhales deeply and says, “It reminds me of one homeless patient last week who suffered from schizophrenia. She is just fifteen.” Wonwoo sees Myungeun widens her eyes as he says fifteen. He nods, “Yes. Rare case, indeed. Homeless, schizophrenia, and fifteen years old. But The Child Service already took care of her. Don’t worry.”
Lies slip easily from his lips, he is also surprised by it. The case did happen, but it happened like two months ago and it has nothing to do with what’s on his mind now.
“Anyway,” Wonwoo releases his hug and pads to the pantry, avoiding her eyes, honestly. “Do you happen to see a box in my drawer?” He makes himself busy by putting their steaks in the microwave.
“Box? What box?” Without looking up at her, he can tell that her eyebrows drawn together, perplexed.
“Just…you know. Box. It’s blue and small.” There is no way Wonwoo will say a ring box, right?
“How small is small?”
Wonwoo brings himself to look up and find tiny Myungeun with her furrowed eyebrows and crossed arms, looking a little bit annoyed because of his fuzzy question.
He shrugs, trying to keep his face straight, “You know small. Like little in size.”
Myungeun groans, thumping her feet as she walks away to the front door. Wonwoo blinks innocently. Seeing annoyed Myungeun is, sometimes, funny. She would pout and thump her feet like a little kid. A grin crept up to his face without he realizes. But his face comes back straight in instant when Myungeun shows up with his jacket draped on her arm.
“Maybe you left it in your office?” Myungeun suggests. It takes him five seconds to realize that she is still talking about the ring box.
“Or try asking Yein. Maybe she knows.” She adds as she makes her way to the laundry room.
Yein is his nurse assistant, who has the access to enter his office, and also happens to be Myungeun’s best friend. Of course, Yein doesn’t know anything about the ring box and the Big Grand plan. If she knows, a few hours later, (Wonwoo would bet million of dollars on it), Myungeun also knows. Yein is, definitely, not a great secret keeper.
It leaves his mind filled with questions again. Where the hell is the ring box? There is no way he accidentally dropped millions won worth diamond ring just like that. Or perhaps he left it in his office? He is sure he brought it back home, though.
“Wonwoo!!”
Wonwoo blinks rapidly, seeing Myungeun is already in front of him, hands on her hips.
“I called you like five times. Your steak is burning!” She points at the microwave which is beeping continuously. He swears under his breath, grabbing a pair of oven gloves, and taking out their dinner before it burns down the entire apartment. They both are staring at their burnt steaks helplessly.
“Poor steaks,” Wonwoo says, before tossing it out to the trash can.
“Poor us.” Myungeun counters, giving stress on the word “us”. She shakes her head, dragging herself out of the kitchen before plopping down on the sofa in the living room which is only ten feet away. Wonwoo follows her like a little kid, planting himself beside Myungeun who is pouting. She just came back home from work, therefore he is the one who is responsible to take care of their dinner. Now he feels a little bit guilty for burning their steaks.
“Chinese takeout?”
“Pizza.” She replies shortly before turning on her all snuggly mode. Wonwoo scoots over a bit, raises his arm to let her draw closer to him, wrapping her tiny figure. He grabs his phone from a coffee table beside him, typing down an order in a food delivery app.
“You do remember tomorrow is your birthday, right?” She mumbles on his chest. His mind is in pause for a few seconds. Wonwoo was so busy choosing the best ring, writing down his Big plan, that he forgets his birthday which is tomorrow.
His short “Oh.” makes her sit up straight. Wonwoo turns to look at her. Her look somewhat is between disbelief and annoyance. She shakes her head lightly and puffs as if she already gets used to it.
“Anyway, I have a night shift tomorrow. But it doesn’t matter, we still have a few hours to celebrate. Here’s my plan! After I do the laundry tomorrow morning, I’ll go to buy you your favorite cheesecake. I’ll prepare the dinner, so when you come back from work, the dinner and your cake are ready on the table. Oh! And candles, I won’t forget candles.” Myungeun says, tapping her head with her index finger, making a mental note so she won’t forget to buy candles.
“You have a night shift on my birthday??” Wonwoo blurts out, which is answered by Myungeun with a nod.
“Take a rain check.”
Wonwoo gets hit by a cushion at that statement.
***
The only thing that Wonwoo wants after a long day at work, where he had to treat eighteen years old girl with anorexia, spend his break time to search the small blue box which still led him into zero result, is a bathtub full of lukewarm water and Myungeun’s voice, singing a lullaby to him while caressing his hair. But he remembers Myungeun has a night shift today. Letting out a heavy sigh, he unlocks the front door, crossing out the second option in his head.
A silent dark home greets him and he isn’t so surprised by it. Perhaps, Myungeun already goes to the hospital, because she hates being late. Wonwoo takes his jacket off, slipping his shoes off as his hands trying to feel the light switch on the wall. Before Wonwoo can find it, suddenly the light turns on, making him blinking rapidly to adjust the brightness of the room.
Myungeun jumps out of nowhere with a cake on her hands, singing happy birthday to him. Apparently, Wonwoo forgets (again) that today is his birthday. The corner of Wonwoo’s lips slowly quirks up, forming a lopsided smile. The weight on his shoulder magically disperses with the sight of Myungeun beaming at him.
“Make a wish!” Myungeun urges as soon as she finishes the song.
Wonwoo’s smile stays as he closes his eyes and prays.
I wish to spend the rest of my life with this person in front of me.
Someday, probably, eventually. He is aware that he still has a long way to begin again after he screwed up his plan.
Wonwoo blows out the candles, giving Myungeun a peck on her forehead before he mutters a “Thank you.”
“Do you want to take a bath first? Dinner is ready whenever you are ready.” Myungeun asks as she pads to the dining room, placing his birthday cake on a table which is already filled with a lot of food.
He begins to undo his tie when he watches Myungeun arranging the cutlery on the table, softly humming to a song he doesn’t recognize. Myungeun is already in her navy blue scrubs, her armpit hair is pulled up in a high ponytail. A sudden realization hits him, making him stops in his tracks. This sight of Myungeun wearing her nurse scrubs, ready for work while preparing their dinner is not something new for him. They have been doing this for years, like how he is welcomed with Myungeun’s bright smile after a long day at work, how he would cook for their dinner on Wednesday and Thursday while Myungeun would do the laundry, how they would go grocery shopping together every weekend. He also remembers the first day when they decided to move in, where this place was only filled with plastic-covered furniture and boxes. Seeing Myungeun’s face glowed as she opened a small box full of their photos from their first date until their 3rd anniversary made him feel so…content. It was a perfect day for them, the day when they began a chapter of their life, together.
His gaze falls into her unadorned ring finger, imagining how the diamond ring that he bought last week and lost two days ago would fit perfectly on it.
Wonwoo doesn't notice when Myungeun shuffles closer to him until she snaps her fingers in front of his face and pulling him back from his trance.
“That’s it. That’s enough.” She announces, “I have to stop this. You wait here.”
“Stop what?” He narrows his eyes, eyebrows furrowed as he watches Myungeun strolls away to their bedroom. Ten seconds later (Wonwoo counts every second with his heartbeats, he doesn't know why) Myungeun comes back with a small blue box sits on her palm.
A very familiar blue box.
Wonwoo catches his breath. For a split second, he feels the world moves in slow motion. Every muscle in his body freeze, his eyes are wide open, mouth opening and shutting like a fish with no sound coming up. He pictures himself looks like an idiot since he watches Myungeun throws her head back laughing. Her laugh stops as she stands right in front of him.
“Listen,” She says, and Wonwoo doesn't have a plan to argue anyway. He shuts his mouth tight, gulping nervously. “I found this box on your jacket then I did the laundry this morning. I supposed this is my reward?”
Wonwoo holds his gaze at her. The way Myungeun’s eyes twinkling as she flips the box open makes him hold his breath.
“Jeon Wonwoo,” Myungeun gives a dramatic pause, making his heart leaps. “All these years, you always put me first. You remember every tiny thing about me. My birthday, my monthly appointment with the dentist, the day when I got my driver license, my work schedule, the day when I will take off my braces, and even you remember to buy me a dozen of donuts across the street at those days when I crave for sweets. But I don’t understand how could you forget your birthday. Forget to turn off the microwave, and also forget where you put this small blue box. So,” Myungeun pauses and takes his hand. For a second, he thought his heart stops beating. “Will you let me be there by your side, just in case you forget small yet important things like that again?” She croons, beaming up at him with a coy teasing twinkle in her eyes.
A wave of relief washes over him, making him let out an audible exhale. Myungeun starts to sway their hands playfully, followed by their laughter filling up the room not long after.
“Hey, answer my question!” She insists, her voice sounds a little bit hoarse from laughing (at least Wonwoo hopes so. If it isn't from laughing, he needs to drag her to see Mingyu tomorrow, just in case she is caught by cold when she pulls overtime work last three days).
Wonwoo chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief, thinking about how this whole situation is ridiculous. He thought Myungeun is going to steal his show and pop up the Big question. But knowing Myungeun, of course, she would tease him instead. He takes a deep breath, locking his gaze at Myungeun’s, a smile tugging at his lips, and replies, “Yes, I will.”
Myungeun snaps the lid close in a heartbeat, something that he doesn't foresee at all. A teasing grin shows up on her face as she puts the box on Wonwoo’s palm.
“Aren’t you going to get down on one knee or something?”
He doesn't mean to laugh at that, but he does. Wonwoo finds it so fascinating the way Myungeun always finds a way to make him laugh even when there is nothing funny. He looks around him—he sees the couch, exquisitely soft black velvet couch where they would spend their off-duty time together, snuggling while watching movies or TV series. His eyes land at their bedroom door, where Myungeun insisted to hang their first-anniversary polaroid, the one which was taken at a cat café. Beside their room, there is Wonwoo’s mini library—and also Myungeun’s mini Snoopy exhibition where she put all her Snoopy dolls and merchandise. Wonwoo thought this room could be more useful when they are ready to welcome a new member in their family.
Family.
Wonwoo smiles at the thought of that. He always thinks about the future, and Myungeun is always a part of it.
His eyes finally land on Myungeun’s. This is their home. She is his home, and everything makes perfect sense if he does it here. There is no need to wait for the sunset. Even without the orange rays illuminate her face, she already glows.
Wonwoo breathes in, opening the lid of the blue box and dropping his knee on the floor. He watches Myungeun’s hands coming up to cover her mouth. Her glistening eyes stare right back at his. Everything is perfect. It is exactly how he pictures it.
“Park Myungeun,” he says, deliberately giving a pause to tease her. “I didn’t have time to search on Google what a guy is supposed to say when he is about to purpose his girlfriend because I was busy looking for the missing blue box.” Myungeun laughs at that, jokingly pushes his shoulder. “But, you need to know that everything makes sense when I am with you. And I choose you. I would choose you, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I would choose you.”
Seeing her scrunched up face and her furrowed eyebrows, Wonwoo quickly adds, “Before you could protest, yes. I quoted it from a book titled The Chaos of Stars.”
Again, she laughs—the sound that he would like to hear every single day in his life. “I want you to be here with me until we are grey and old. So, will you marry me?”
A smile quickly spreads over her face as she nods, “Yes, absolutely.”
Wonwoo grins proudly, sliding the ring on her finger—the place where it belongs.