Work Text:
“Mnh.”
“What.”
“Mnnnnh.”
“ What , Percy.”
“...”
“...hi.”
“Hi.”
“You need sex, don’t you.”
“Please? I can be quiet…stop giving me that look, I can!”
“You’re not even being quiet now !”
“You’re not exactly making it easy for me!”
“How, by existing in your immediate vicinity?”
“Dude, you know how weak I am to your stupid guns, what am I supposed to do when you have ‘em around me all warm and huge and, and— rrrrgh !”
“...So now I can’t hug you without setting you off.”
“Not when you refuse to put on a shirt and it’s been almost four frickin’ days since the last time we even made out, you can’t!”
“...”
“...”
Sigh . “Percy, we have a guest.”
“I know, and I feel bad, but you weren’t home all weekend and you went to bed early last night and when I tried to get up with you this morning you did the magic hair thing and you’re gonna be gone all day tomorrow and I can only hold out for so long!”
“Babe, when I wake you up early, you’re unconscious again within twenty minutes no matter what. I just would rather not start my day taking you to urgent care because you got it in your head to make me coffee while half-asleep and burned yourself. Again. Petting you happens to be the easiest way to convince you to stay in bed.”
“...okay, I’ll admit I’m a danger to myself and others before nine AM, but your hands are still magic. Don’t deny it.”
“Heh. Fine, I have magic hands.”
“...oh--yes, yes, you do, oh --”
“Shhh. We have a guest, remember? Do you want to disturb her?”
“No! No no no no don’t stop--”
“ Shhhh , Percy.”
“Ffffff.”
“If you open your mouth, I stop. Is that clear?”
“...Mhmm.”
“That’s better. Roll over for me.”
“Nnnnn….”
“It amazes me that you still manage to be loud with your face in the pillow. Slut.”
“Aah--no fuck I’m sorry I’m sorry--!”
“What did I say.”
“If I open my mouth...you stop.”
“That’s right. Now hush .”
“MnnnNNN!”
“I’m starting to think you want me to gag you.”
“...I mean, yeah, but it wasn’t deliberate, I just usually wanmmph!”
“Fortunately for you, you’re hot when you have my hand over your mouth.”
“Mnnnnnh…”
—
“...I can’t believe them.”
“What about them?”
“I can’t believe they’re doing it while Reyna is right there in the living room! ”
“I can. There’s a reason we call them sex maniacs, right?”
“They don’t have to be so shameless about it!”
“...you know, since they’re already—”
“Try it and I’ll break your fingers, Solace.”
“Aww, why not?”
“Because I refuse to add another layer to my poor friend’s auditory trauma!”
“I think it’s a little late for that…”
“It’s the principle of the thing. I want to be able to look her in the eye at class tomorrow. Which, need I remind you, is a quiz day .”
“...Oh, fine. If you change your mind, though—“
“Go to sleep, Will, before I kick all three of you out so she and I can have some peace.”
—
“... fuck .”
“An astute observation.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Normally I’d say ‘make me’, but I'm too tired to keep being a brat.”
“Well, good. I’m too tired to keep being a disciplinarian.”
“Yeah, I know, you’re a tree. Unreasonably tall, deeply grounded and capable of producing gallons upon gallons of sap.”
“...I plead the fifth.”
“You can’t say you’re mad at me for talking you into it.”
“I’m never mad at you. Frustrated with you, sometimes. Angry at your behavior, rarely. But angry at you , personally? Never.”
“That’s an awfully bold statement to make.”
“I guess I usually assume conflict is born out of misunderstanding, rather than wilful malice.”
“....I’m not sure what I did to deserve you, but whatever it was, I’m really glad I did it.”
“I can think of a few things. I’d bet your mother could, too.”
“Don’t you bring my mom into this!”
“She would agree with me and I think you know it.”
“....Fuck you.”
“I mean, maybe later, but I wasn’t aware you were into that…”
“Pfffff. You know what I meant, you ass.”
“Of the two of us, you’re the one who’s known for his ass.”
“That’s true; it’s mostly your bangin’ rack that people drool over.”
“I thought your weakness was the guns?”
“Por que no los dos? It’s not like your ‘ceps make me blind to the rest of you!”
“...Go to sleep.”
“That’s one order I’m not gonna fight you on.”
“Good.”
“....Hey, Jason?”
“I know. I love you too, Percy."
"...Thank you."
"...I take it my holding you is less distracting now that I’ve worn you out.”
“For the moment, yeah, but I’m gonna want an encore by Thursday.”
“...Light of my life.”
“Yes, darling?”
“Shut up and go the fuck to sleep.”
“Yes, darling~”
—
“ Morning, sunshine!”
“Please don’t call me sunshine.”
“Why not? Percy does!”
“Yeah. That’s the point. Percy does, and only Percy, thanks.”
“Oh, fine, Jason .”
“We still on for that run?”
“Sure, but yikes, dude, maybe put a shirt on first. I know he’s cute when he begs, but your bitch has claws.”
“...crap. You didn’t hear us, did you?”
“Uh, yeah? I don’t think anyone on the block didn’t hear you . Your bitch also has a penchant for howling, and there’s only so much a pillow can do.”
“ Will!”
“What?? I don’t know why you’re so grumpy when at least you got laid last night, I got cockblocked—”
“Would you shut up with the smut talk before you wake—”
“—too late.”
“.....oh, fuck me—”
“Really? that’s not what it sounded like last—“
“Please stop talking.”
“Oh, come on, it’s not like she didn’t hear you, there was one less door between her and you guys than Nico and I—hey, Ra-Ra, since you’re up, want to come on our run with us?”
“Do not call me Ra-Ra!”
“Geez, what is this, the nickname inquisition?”
“Will, what is wrong with you today?”
“You’re one to talk, sir. ”
“WILL I SWEAR TO GOD—Reyna, I’m so sorrrand she’s gone. Thanks, man. Great job.”
“HOW IS THIS MY FAULT??”
“...I’m with my fiance on this one. You and Percy need a remedial course in keeping it in your goddamn pants.”
“....good morning to you too, Nico.”
“I’m declining your attempt at a greeting on the grounds of flagrant indecency. For as much as you call Percy a slut, you’re worse than he is!”
“Hey, I only call him a slut because he asked me to. I’m aware we’re…well-matched, in that department.”
“Which, the traumatizing-Nico’s-friends department or the unable-to-wait-for-privacy-before-fucking department?”
“...Listen, would you tell her I‘m sorry? I honestly feel bad. I thought I could do a better job at keeping Percy quiet, but I guess I got carried away as much as he did.”
“Moreso! Significantly!”
“...Even responsibility I’ll give you, but he was the one making the majority of the noise.”
“Yeah, but you should know better by now when you’re the one who made a kink out of eliciting an excessive amount of noise from him in the first place!”
“...Alright, I guess I can’t argue with that.”
“...” Sigh . “Fine, I’ll pass along your apology, but I’m also telling her I had no part in and do not condone your behavior and am putting you both in the doghouse for the foreseeable future. And that I won’t be shocked if she never stays with us again.”
“....Yeah, I won’t be either.”