Work Text:
Lee Donghyuck has some habits that are quite weird to a lot of people. Every night at 11pm he leaves his apartment to go to the forest 15 minutes far from his house. It's not like that the forest is full of bears or wolfs or any wild animals, it's just a the one with a lot of trees of every kind and lots of fireflies.
It is like some kind of therapy for Donghyuck and he enjoys being in the nature at night with nobody around. He can listen to his thoughts that he couldn't by daylight due to the loudness of city he hates a lot. Some nights he listens to his favourite songs and some nights he writes some lyrics to express his thoughts. The moment he sits on the overthrown tree in the middle of the forest he feels like he forgets all his problems.
He had never seen someone in the forest at that late at night until that friday night last week.
He closed the door of his apartment and locked it. Then he headed downstairs. He saw one of his neighbours and said good night to him.
Today was tiring, he thought. He had to deal with Renjun all day because Jeno and Jaemin left him to spend some time together. And of course Renjun freaked out to all that events happening without him knowing. Luckily, Donghyuck was the only one who can make him shut his mouth. That's probably why Jeno and Jaemin trusted him with taking care of their furious baby while they're on a short trip.
I hope he is sleeping now, Donghyuck thought. He locked the door so he couldn't escape to find his boyfriends who left him there as if Renjun's their kid and Donghyuck is some babysitter.
He finally arrived his place and started wandering around the forest like he always did. And eventually he has found his spot and sit beneath the trees. It was dark but some streetlight outside the forest on the carriageway and especially his best friends fireflies were lightening the place a little so it wasn't that impenetrable. He needed to use some extra light if he wanted to read or write something some nights though, but tonight wasn't one of them.
While he was sitting thinking about the things on his mind lately, he heard some voice that he was unused to. He thought his mind was playing with him at first but he heard it again. It was like someone walking
stepping on the seres. He felt frightened because he never saw someone here before. He grabbed a thick branch from the ground to defend himself. Maybe it was someone just wanted to walk. At this late hour? Donghyuck thought but he tried to relax himself thinking maybe it was a weirdo like him. He tried to be quiet. When the voices was no longer audible, he went to check if the person was gone or not. He walked a while but couldn't see anyone then suddenly he heard someone crying. This aroused his curiosity and he followed the sobbing voice till he saw a very long man standing under a tree crying but struggling to keep it silent. He threw the branch away. He decided to stay still and watch because he
wasn't brave enough to go ask him what's wrong. Before anything else, he was a stranger and he seemed like he may get angry if he was bothered now. Donghyuck wouldn't want to annoy such a giant who could beat the daylights out of him. He felt sorry for him, he sighed and thought it's time to go back but he saw the man's knees gave out and he collapsed on the floor sobbing even louder than before. Donghyuck couldn't watch it anymore and ran towards the man in front of him. He approached him and he got down on his knees to face the man. He didn't even care if his clothes got dirty.
"I'm sorry mister, but what's wrong? You've been crying for fifteen minutes." He asked worriedly trying to make an eye contact with him.
He stopped crying, tried to stand up a little and tilted his head up to see who's speaking with him here in a forest, in the dead of night. He wasn't expecting anyone to be here and that's exactly why he came here to break down as he wants. He immediately wiped his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie, and started talking afraid his voice's gonna break.
"It's none of your business, go away." he said trying to get rid of the boy beside him.
"Look, I don't even know you, I won't judge you. Just tell me what happened, okay?" Donghyuck said and placed his hand on man's shoulder.
He flinched at the touch and stepped back. He moved himself to lean the tree. He breathed in and out in order to relax a little.
Donghyuck watched his actions carefully and eventually he sat beside the man, still waiting for a reply.
He didn't say anything for a while, just stayed still. Meanwhile Donghyuck watched his profile for he doesn't know how long. His bloodshot eyes, red nose, bitten lips (probably not to let out his loud sobs) and his lock of hair resting on his forehead. Just when Donghyuck thought he wasn't going to talk to him, he came back to his senses by the latter's voice.
"Am I... so ugly?" he didn't look at Donghyuck's eyes, he was in the world of his own.
Donghyuck was taken aback by the sudden question he didn't know how to answer. He watched the man's features again, his eyes were puffy from crying and full of pain now. I bet they're way more beautiful when they sparkle with happiness, Donghyuck thought to himself.
"Am I...not man enough?" he asked again.
Well, he definitely is if you ask Donghyuck. Probably one of the the manliest men Donghyuck ever seen.
"Am I a coward, am I worthless, don't I deserve to be loved? Donghyuck heard his voice cracked at the last sentence. He didn't know what or who broke this man's heart that much but Donghyuck felt his heart breaking at his questions. He wanted to comfort him.
"Of course you are not any of those. Everyone deserves to be loved, and you are no exception. Please don't think like that." he said with the softest tone on his voice.
He finally turned his head to Donghyuck, looked him in the eyes.
"Then why?..why doesn't he love me back even if I gave my everything to him?" he looked like he was waiting for a reply and these questions probably are the hardest Donghyuck will ever hear. He didn't say anything, he couldn't.
"I'm sorry you're feeling like that." He wasn't lying he felt his heart being ripped from his chest seeing a 6ft man being as desperate as a lost child.
"I love him more than anything else, but he has eyes only for...only for Taeyong. I tried everything but he just doesn't see me. I'm so tired... so tired of trying." once he finished talking he sobbed again and Donghyuck couldn't help taking the man in his arms and letting him cry on his shoulder.
He felt his eyes tearing but the older didn't see it.
"It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay..." he didn't even know his name.
The man in his arms has relaxed a little but didn't leave the comfort of Donghyuck's hold.
"Youngho." he said.
"It's gonna be alright, Youngho." he said rubbing the older's back one last time and he pulled away.
Five minutes later Youngho looked better and he finally stopped crying.
"You think I'm so weak, right? I look like a man outside but am just a crybaby inside." he said turning his head to Donghyuck and smiling through the pain.
Donghyuck's lips slightly curved up.
"It is absolutely okay to cry when you're broken." he said reassuringly and placed his left hand onto Youngho's hand, squeezing it in a friendly manner.
Youngho immediately directed his gaze to the boy's hand, stared for a while and asked:
"What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Youngho's gaze was on Donghyuck's eyes now.
"Uhm.. I come here every night. It's just a habit of mine." he said.
Youngho furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"Interesting." he said with a lower voice. But Donghyuck
heard him.
"Yes, it is. Are you feeling better now?" he realized his hand was still on Youngho's hand and he suddenly withdrew his hand thinking he might feel uncomfortable.
"Yeah, thanks to you." he smiled to the boy.
"I'm glad. Don't be so hard on yourself, please. Do you.. want me to walk you home?" Donghyuck smiled back.
"No, thank you. I can go by myself."
"Okay, then. Be careful, good night Youngho." He stood up and started walking away.
"Uhm.. hey!" Youngho called out.
Donghyuck turned back.
"Yeah?"
"You didn't tell me... your name." he looked exactly like a puppy moonlight hitting his widened and questioning eyes.
"It's Donghyuck." he said and left Youngho to head his home.
Donghyuck has been thinking about him since that night. He wondered if he got better or he did break down like that again. He wanted to see him again so much but he knew he won't. Maybe they worked it out and now they're dating. I should forget it anyways, Donghyuck thought.
"Hyuckie, they're coming today, right?" Renjun asked shaking Donghyuck's shoulders.
"Yes Injunnie just wait a little more. They're coming tonight."
"Good, I've planned everything, I'm gonna make sure they regret this" he smirked to Donghyuck rubbing his hands together.
"I bet you will." Donghyuck let out a laugh.
It was 10 pm when they heard a knock on the door.
Renjun ran towards door and opened it.
"You. Bastards. You're gonna pay." Renjun started punching both Jeno and Jaemin with his tiny fists.
Everyone but Renjun laughed. Jeno closed the door and carried Renjun bridal style to the couch and started tickling him while Jaemin kissed every part of his face.
"We missed you Injunnie, we missed you soooo much."
Jaemin pecked his lips.
"NO. Take your betrayer hands off me. Don't even talk to me until you apologize on your knees." He threw his punches and kicks but none of them landed on his boyfriends.
Donghyuck checked his watch and saw that it's almost 11pm. He decided to leave the lovebirds alone. He grabbed his jacket and keys and left the home. His friends were having so much fun so they didn't notice he left.
He was sitting watching the beautiful fireflies. He haven't seen Youngho since friday. He knew he wouldn't come back again. Why would he though? Everyone wasn't as weird as him to spend every night in a forest all alone so he was probably sleeping while Donghyuck sitting here thinking about him. He hoped Youngho didn't cry again like that. He was still hearing those questions everytime he came to the forest ever since friday.
That's why he thought it was his mind again when he heard Youngho's voice.
"Donghyuck?"
He turned his back only to see Youngho standing there.
Donghyuck couldn't believe that he really came again.
"Youngho? Why are you here?" he looked confused.
Youngho walked towards Donghyuck and slowly sat beside him.
"I thought I couldn't thank you enough that night. No one has ever been that supportive to me before. You don't even know me but you helped a lot. I sincerely thank you." he said looking right into Donghyuck's eyes and smiled. Donghyuck felt something melted inside him.
He looked way better than the last time and his eyes weren't puffy from crying but sparkling with thankfulness. He looked stunning in the moonlight.
"You don't have to thank me. Anyone would do the same. How are you feeling?" Donghyuck asked.
"Better. I see them together everyday and it hurts so much but I guess I need to accept the truth. We talked yesterday and he told me how much he loves Taeyong. I couldn't say anything, just turned my eyes away because I was afraid he will see the tears. I hate crying so easily but I just can't help it, that sucks. Just like I can't help loving him." Youngho inhaled deeply and turned his gaze to the fireflies lightening the place. Donghyuck realised how much he wanted to see him again for real.
"Can you tell me about him?" Donghyuck couldn't hide his curiosity and asked to learn more about the person who could make this man so whipped for him.
Youngho sighed and thought about something for a while but he eventually answered.
"I knew he owned my heart the moment I saw him. He's so talented, cute, kind and funny. He's wonderful. He's my everything or... he was." Donghyuck noticed that Youngho looked so in love describing him.
"I don't know how does it feel to love someone that much actually." Donghyuck confessed.
"It hurts so much, but if you hold on to the dreams of that person waking up next to you in the morning, it gets better." Donghyuck noted that.
"You don't deserve to be hurt this much. You deserve so much better." Donghyuck said. He never stopped watching him since he sat right beside Donghyuck.
"Life doesn't always give us what we deserve." Youngho smiled.
"Youngho." Donghyuck felt some courage filling up his chest and he decided to tell Youngho things that he couldn't even tell himself.
"Yes, Hyuckie?" Donghyuck felt his heart skipped a beat at the calling.
"Uhm.. it's hard to say but I think... I... I like you. I know you love him and I expect literally nothing. I just wanted to say it. I'm sorry you don't have to say anything or feel sorry. Just forget it already, that was so stupid." That's it. He said it. He will be rejected and never see Youngho again. He messed everything up. If he could shut his mouth maybe Youngho would come to see him again like he did tonight.
Youngho was taken aback by the sudden confession. Just when he opened his mouth to say something, Donghyuck interrupted him.
"I just think nobody has the right to make you feel this sad. I don't know him but he must be blind. You deserve so much better than him, don't get me wrong that 'better' is not me but I would be happy if you could find someone who value you as much as you value them. I know I'm no one to you and like you said at first it's none of my business, but it would be nice to see you happy with those beautiful sparkling eyes of yours." Donghyuck held his breath knowing his heart is gonna get broke in minutes.
But on the contrary, he felt his heart going out of his chest when he felt a pair of soft plump lips pressing to his. Youngho kissed him so lovingly and softly and Donghyuck kissed him back. It was even better than Donghyuck imagined. Youngho pulled away and he stroked Donghyuck's cheek with his thumb. All of these felt so unreal so Donghyuck was waiting Renjun to wake him up from this beautiful dream.
"Donghyuck, you are the kindest, sweetest person I've ever seen, but... but I just can't stop loving him, you know?"
Yeah, that was it. It wasn't like Hyuck expected something to happen, but it still broke his heart. But he felt thankful because he met him, probably he will never be able to forget him but still he's glad.
Donghyuck smiled and said "I know Youngho, I know."