Work Text:
Winter is definitely getting closer was Jeongin’s main thought walking out of the coffee shop. The sun was barely peeking out from the sky, streaks of pale yellow and tints of pink blending with the marine sky. The breeze carried an icy chill through the boy’s body. Making sure to tug his beanie on a little tighter, he continued his walk home.
The day had been tiring to say the least. He had managed to hit the snooze button on his phone 10 times before remembering he had a morning lecture that day. Because of his tardiness, the professor decided they needed to discuss matters after class. Those matters ended up being that the professor, while being pleased with his work in the class, she believed that “the full amount of his potential had not been reached, that something inside was blocking his natural talents, and a break from daily stresses should be taken. Leave it up to the teachers in the arts to give vague and useless directions. As much as Jeongin would’ve loved to take a break from life, that just wasn’t possible. Just because the weekend was starting did not mean all his responsibilities left. In fact, it was just the opposite, everything seemed to pile up during that short time. Work took the fact that Jeongin had no classes as incentive to give him a double shift and the work he worked so hard to procrastinate on was due the next week. Breaks were definitely not an option in Jeongin’s mind.
Work didn’t try to make his day any better either. Don’t get him wrong. Jeongin was quite happy with his job. The coffee shop was a small hole in the wall kind of establishment with a soft, warm aesthetic that fanfictions could only dream of having. His co-workers were wonderful as well. Woojin, their manager, always tried his best to make everyone comfortable and give them breaks when he saw his employees having a hard time. Seungmin and Hyunjin, his usual shift-mates, were like older brothers to him. Always throwing sass at each other and engaging in playful banter but never forgetting to shower each other with love and affection. Today however, was not on his side. It seemed as if every customer was in a bad mood that day and thought it’d be great to take that frustration out on the young barista. And as much as Jeongin loved Hyunjin, the poor boy could only take so much of his complaining about his struggles in the realm of dating(ie: turning down countless possible partners and trying to woo a certain short and sharp featured music producer). So yeah, Jeongin was exhausted. Usually he would receive cute texts from his hyung trying to cheer him up, but those were nowhere to be found.
By the time he was halfway home, the sun had finished her job for the day, letting the sky become immersed in a deep abyss for the moon to shine through, a few stars beginning to enter the sky. It was days like these that Jeongin would take the time to really stare at the sky, admire it’s constant routine that never failed to wonder those peering up. He liked to pick out stars from the crowd and imagine their life. Give them a past and emotions so he didn’t feel so alone at times. Obviously the student wasn’t alone. He had friends, a quite large group at that who would always be ready to comfort him whenever he was having a hard time. But sometimes all he needed to feel better, was to look up at the sky, and realize that there was so much more happening in the world, that he was just a small speck in the wide range of the universe. Some people would become depressed by this thought, by feeling so small, but that’s what Jeongin loved about it. There was no need to worry so much because the world would still turn whether or not Jeongin failed this class or messed up this customer’s order, he could relax and walk through life at his own pace. Today was no exception to this activity. He took his time looking at each star, big or small, bright or dim, barely there but still hanging in. He chuckled at that thought. Me too little guy, me too.
Somewhere along the walk and switching from star to star, his mind wandered back to his hyung. Jeongin shouldn’t have been so upset by him not texting him that day, if anything it made sense, his hyung was a busy person, from his job with Changbin as a music producer, to just his nature. Hyung was naturally a caring person who would go out of his way to help others. It strung him thin at times, leaving him exhausted and dull, but thats where Jeonging would come in, to energize and brighten the hardworking hyung he cared so much for. But it wasn’t just the missing texts. Normally, the 19 year old wouldn’t have to use his alarm because hyung was always there to wake him up. As much as he pretended to hate the daily attacks hyung just called “power cuddles”, he loved starting the day of feeling warm and safe in his hyung’s embrace. Jeongin couldn’t help the frown that washed over his face. He was NOT going to make a big deal out of nothing. He repeated these words til they became jumbled in his brain. However, this did not stop him from making a big deal out of the event. Maybe he’s gotten tired of having to take care of me. It makes sense. He has so much to do, he shouldn’t have dealing with an anxious college student barely making ends meet on his plate as well. I should be more useful. Maybe start waking up before him to make lunches, he’d like that right?
So wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn’t fully process walking past the convenience store across the street from his apartment. He didn’t see that certain hyung who never failed to bring a smile to his face sitting at one of the many cheap tables eating very cheap ramen. He did however, process the arms wrapping around his waist as he waited to cross the street. He recognized the cologne that made his head fuzzy if he inhaled too deeply. He recognized the tuft of blonde hair tickling his pink cheeks. He recognized the warm, honey voice that always lulled him to sweet dreams currently teasing him.
“Where do you think you’re going at this time of day? It’s dangerous for a cutie like you to be walking alone.”
“Channie-hyung! Where-how-when did you get here?” The smile that grew on the 'cutie’s' face could’ve rivaled the sun in brightness.
“Well you see, I was just out here enjoying a warm serving of ramen when suddenly this boy I happen to see from time to time walk past me. I, being the kind person I am, tried calling out to them in hopes of sharing a meal with them, but they completely ignored me. So I ran after them in hopes of getting to see their pretty face again, and here we are.” Chan was obviously teasing him, swaying their bodies gently while talking, but Jeongin couldn’t help but feel bad for him considering the thoughts that had just been running through his head.
“Oh, ‘m sorry hyung I wasn’t paying attention, next time I’ll definitely-”, the boy was beginning to rant, worry filling his voice and Chan could tell. Before Jeongin could continue to spout words, the elder spun him around so they were facing each other.
“Hey, hey, look at me.” Jeongin timidly raised his gaze, still lost in his own concerns which quickly faded once eye to eye with those deep brown orbs that never failed to calm him. “It’s okay, alright? I was just teasing you. I could literally NEVER be mad at you for anything. Unless, maybe, if you steal my food again, then we might have some problems.” This made the younger (yet taller, much to Chan’s disappointment) laugh, and Chan couldn’t help but admire that smile that warmed his heart on days like these. “Much better. Let’s go back to the convenience store really quick so I can clean up my trash and we’ll head back home okay?”
Both smiled brightly at each other, any doubts lingering in Jeongin’s mind having faded long before. “Okay hyung!”
~~~~~
Chan hadn't really expected his night to unfold like this. But then again, he’d never skip out on the chance to spend more time with his adorable long time friend/roommate/crush.
He had met the boy in his first year of high school, introduced as his best friend, Lee Minho’s, cousin from Busan. At the time, Chan saw him as nothing more than that. The 4 year difference and rare meetings made it hard for them to find common ground, and the australian was much more concerned with his his own roubles than making friends with Minho's cousin. Once summer before senior year rolled around, his encounters with the small yet bright boy became more frequent. Jeongin was to live with Minho’s family so he could go to a nice high school in Seoul much to everyone’s joy. Family and friends of Minho loved the boy. It was hard not to, with his charming eyes, infectious laugh, and bright attitude. Chan felt himself being overwhelmed by him as well. His curiosity was peaked by the boy, and days spent lounging around Minho’s house were coupled with occasional glances and even rarer conversions. No extra thought was put into why the elder was so intrigued by the boy from Busan, he just knew that he was.
With school’s start, their chance encounters grew to daily hangouts. Minho had asked his trusty friend Chan to help out the younger if he ever saw him having troubles. And being the model citizen he was, he wouldn’t decline such a favor. Besides, with the grade difference it was unlikely they’d ever see each other. Wrong. Both had the same gym class along with some sophomores Chan had seen around before, Jisung and Felix. Not only that, the off period he’d hoped to spend studying collided with Jeongins. Beforehand, he thought it would be best to give the boy some space so he could make some friends himself, but the poor kid had looked so lonely sitting by himself in the library. Chan felt that if he didn’t help the kid then he himself would cry, which in front of him, the kid looked very close to doing. So he did. He took him under his wing in a sense, and let him sit with him where he usually worked. At first it was awkward. He could feel the kid staring at him from behind his book, but neither had the guts to move passed the bleak small talk.
Occasionally Chan’s friend Bambam would join, effectively breaking the ice, but when he left it went back to radio silence. It wasn’t until maybe a couple of months after the initial invite that the younger managed to strike a real conversation with the elder when he heard him humming a song that happened to be by his favorite artist. After that the conversations never ceased in interest and their acquaintance grew to friendship. Unfortunately, their time together had been cut short by Chan’s graduation. They still kept in touch after he left for college, promising to remain friends. And that’s where they stayed.
It wasn’t until a year later that they saw each other again, reunited for Minho’s 18th birthday. Chan’s first year of college had been full of excitement and new adventures, but the time spent away from his hometown took a toll on him, and he was glad to see all his old friends again. Apparently a year was all it took for Jeongin to start shifting into the man he sees him as now. Gone were the braces everyone thought made him 10 times cuter, and puberty added a few extra centimeters to his height, making him just a tad taller than the college student(which Chan largely protested. If Jeongin ever wanted to tease Chan, all he had to do was pull the height card to throw Chan on a whole tantrum about genetics and whatnot). Although he hadn’t lost all his baby fat, his jawline had begun to sharpen at the edges, and his voice was definitely deeper, holding a calm and mellow lull to it. While Jeongin had increasingly changed, Chan was happy to know that his ‘dolphin scream’ had not vanished. Along with the physical changes, his personality changed as well. It hadn’t necessarily become different or new, just that the boy had grown from a shy,small strawberry flower and bloomed into a slightly obnoxious sunflower. This sunflower also just happened to be influenced maybe a little too much by Jisung and Felix and become very fond of skinship. Very. Fond. Of skinship. Particularly with Chan. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was because of the time spent apart. Or the fact that Chan gave amazing hugs. He wouldn’t have been so bothered by not knowing if it weren’t for everyone giggling or raising their eyebrows in the direction of the two. It was as if everyone knew something he didn’t, and as the dad of the friend group he felt it was his job to know everything. All he knew was that Jeongin was stuck to him like glue, and that he wasn’t gonna complain. Not when he felt the same way. He missed the younger as much as he didn’t admit it, as to not boost the boy’s ego. He had missed him, without really knowing why, and this time back spent back home with everyone shed some light on that reason.
Of course this revelation didn’t come without its guilt. This was his best friend’s cousin that he was beginning to hold feelings for. But this one problem wasn’t a big enough to satisfy the universe. The universe just had to step in and add another problem. If he thought the first piece was a big problem, it suddenly looked like a hurdle compared to the mountain he was looking at. Minho knew and trusted them. Society would only look at the layer on top and judge from there. At the time, Jeongin had only been fifteen, a whole four years below Chan. And while an age gap of only 4 years would’ve been acceptable in any other adult’s relationship, the fact that the younger had still been a minor at the time made it very unacceptable to society. The thought harming Jeongin for his own selfish feelings was not something Chan wanted to make a reality.
So he held it in. Any non-platonic feelings he felt for the boy were repressed. Whenever he didn’t return hugs or hold hands, he just brushed it off as not liking skinship. He avoided long periods of eye contact because he knew that if he stared to long, he’d let himself get lost the swirls of dark chocolate that could otherwise just be referred to as Jeongin’s eyes. If he was ever able to hold this sweet boy in his arms a minute too long, he might never want to let go. So Chan didn’t indulge himself in the younger’s presence. Sure, it hurt. It hurt himself to not recognize his own wants and it hurt to see the way the high schooler’s face would shift in confusion and disappointment everytime Chan came up with yet another poor excuse to not be with him.
This game, a constant dilemma roaming in the music majors head, lasted a whole year in a half. To be honest, he had been really proud of himself for lasting that long. In any other situation it was extremely difficult for anyone to not succumb to Jeongin’s soft pout and sparkling eyes. A whole year and a half of this constant battle inside Chan’s head passed. Until he realized his actions weren’t just affecting himself, but also the boy he’d promised Minho to protect, all those years back.
The moment he learned that the pain was mutual, a piece of his heart shattered. It was springtime, and the sun was on hiatus, letting the clouds roll in and clean the air with regular showers. Finals were just around the corner and Chan was swamped with the stress of school, jobs, and a sad excuse of a social life. But it was Jeongin asking to meet up, and Chan hated telling him no. When Jeongin, a senior at the time, arrived at his doorstep, hair and coat soaked with rain, his protective side immediately kicked in as he led Jeongin into his apartment. Once satisfied with the boy’s condition, they were able to talk, and that when everything came spilling out.
“I know you’ve said before that you just don’t like skinship hyung, but sometimes I feel like it’s more than that. Whenever we talk you seem distant, and that’s even if we talk.” Sniffles from the cold boy were the only sound heard throughout the small apartment, and if Chan looked closely, he could see the gloss of unshed tears spreading over Jeongin’s eyes. “I know you’re busy, I probably shouldn’t even be bothering you now since finals are coming up but… I never see you anymore. There’s always some reason you have to cancel or can’t visit and I feel like it’s my fault.Everyone misses you at our hangouts and I can’t help but think that at least if I wasn’t there you’d go. I can’t keep pretending everything’s okay when it’s not. I mean, I-”. By this point the younger had gone into a full blown rant, arms flailing in an attempt to convey the pent up feelings, and small crystals fell from red cheeks. The distance between the two, although only an arms length felt like an ocean, the tears only widening the trench. “I don’t know what I did, if I did anything, but it hurts. It hurts and I miss you. Sometimes I just want to hug you and say ‘thank you for how you’ve always looked out for me’ but I can’t even do that because you pull away. What did I do wrong hyung? If you want me to leave you alone I’ll understand but I don’t want to be stuck like this anymore. Feeling like-, like I’m putting all my effort into this friendship and only getting ten percent back from you. Please, just tell me hyung” After he managed to spit those last words out, the sobs Jeongin worked so hard to hold back shook his whole body as he helplessly closed his eyes and held his head down in an attempt to hide the mess he was unraveling into before Chan’s eyes.
That evening Chan made sure to hold Jeongin tight until his breathing evened. Any front he had previously been putting up broke down in an instant It was in that moment, Chan decided he wouldn’t hide his feelings. At least, not from himself. He comforted the boy who normally bright, now appeared so small and denounced all his initial woes. He explained that it was just because of his hectic schedule and promised to change; become better for both of them. And from that moment on he did.
Chan started to accept and return skinship. He stopped coming up with excuses to not see Jeongin and he learned to look the boy in the eyes without getting overly flustered by his own feelings. He accepted them, let them flow through his heart where they were to remain until he gathered the courage to tell his adorable, longtime friend/roommate/crush. On some occasions his feeling spilled through in his actions. Sometimes the urge to peck the youngers cheeks screamed until the only way to silence the noise was to act out the action. During Saturday movie nights with all their friends, Jeongin would fit himself into Chan’s side. On those nights, the warmth seeping into him mingled with the sleep under his eyes and lowered his inhibitions just enough for him to start carding his fingers through the younger’s hair way before he even realized what he was doing. Thankfully the younger didn’t seem like he minded the actions. If anything he seemed over the moon by this new affectionate Chan, so Chan continued ‘til it became a habit when they were together. Tired or wide awake. Alone or surrounded. Chan grew to except and maintain his growing feelings. He only hoped that soon he’d gather the courage to tell Jeongin, and be able to say that they were accepted and reciprocated.
Screw the universe, thought Chan. Time was one his side, and now was the time.
~~~~~
Jeongin isn’t gonna lie. He’s kinda been crushing on his best friend’s cousin for the past five years. Not that he’d admit this to anyone. Even to his best friends, Jisung and Felix, who already know of his feelings. The teasing was tolerable the first few years, but the constant pointed looks and secret plots became unbearable. So whenever it’s brought up these days, Jeongin just denies the feelings and says he doesn’t like Chan anymore. He doesn’t!
…
He does. He really is, head over heels for charming, sweet, funny, loving Bang Chan. But it’s easier pretending he doesn’t so that he won't have a heart attack every time Chan becomes affectionate and clingy. It's moments like those, when they’re bundled up together on the couch, heads leaning against one another, watching the latest episode of Chan’s favorite drama with their classic bowl of ‘random candies all put together because it’s adventurous’ that Jeongin has to enforce the sad reality of ‘Chan doesn’t like me so I shouldn’t set myself up for failure’.
Right now also seems to be one of those moments. It might just be because Jeongin is so tired, that his brain is absolutely fried from school and work, that he thinks Chan’s touch lingers on him a little longer than usual as he’s being planted into a cheap, plastic convenience store chair in front of leftover ramen.
Chan quickly gathered the leftovers and made his way to the bin, giving him a small smile. “I’ll be right back okay?” Jeongin simply nodded as the elder walked into the store and Jeongin’s attention quickly swerved to the shimmering sky. The stars seem especially bright tonight.
If Jeongin were being honest, he probably fell for the Chan the moment he offered to help the nervous freshman that first day of school, five years back. Sometimes it’s hard to believe how lucky he was to meet a guy like Chan, but he’s always thankful to whatever higher being put him in his path. Now, at the ripe age 18, he could confidently say(okay, maybe not say it with confidence but in his heart he knows) that he was hopelessly in love with his Channie hyung.
His thoughts fell back down to reality with the chime the door being opened and the man who is always on his mind walking into the chilly air. “Sorry for the wait, thought you might want a lil’ something to cheer you up tonight.”
“Donuts?”
“No, something a little more special than that.”
“What could possibly be better than-. Hyung. What… why did you buy this.” There was no way. Jeongin’s eyes must have been playing tricks on him. Maybe the elder forgot?
“Oh come on Innie, don’t tell me you forgot our promise already, hm?”
*****
“Hyung what’s taking so long?! I’m hungry, hurry up already.” Jeongin had been waiting for at least five minutes for the rest of his friends to come out of the convenience store so he could stuff his face with junk food, but that hope was quickly dwindling with the passage of time.
Finals were just around the corner, and with the amount of cram studying happening over the past week, getting out to see his friends was a nice change of pace. As a junior, he was eager to finish the school year, only one more year to go and he’ll have passed one of the first major milestones in life. Of course he still wanted to maintain some semblance of a social life so he wasn’t going to refuse another offer to leave the library. At this rate however, with no snacks or friends in sight he was ready to head straight back in preparation for the impending tests. But Jeongin wasn’t the kind of person to just leave his friends.
With a huff, he scooted out of the small table in front of the store to check on everyone inside.
Upon hearing the loud voices of his hyungs, he entered quietly to observe the commotion.
“Guys, I’m not doing that.” Chan?
“Oh c’mon hyung it’s not that big a deal, it’ll be funny.” That definitely sounded like Changbin. From how the conversation was going, it sounded like the boy was trying to look Chan into another one of his pranks. So far, He had gotten Minho to dramatically perform a love song to Jisung in front of everyone during lunch, Felix had to try and flirt his way into getting a free meal from a waitress at a local diner, and Jisung even convinced Changbin to dance to Twice’s latest comeback during the principal’s speech at an assembly(nobody liked that prick anyway). Whatever this latest idea was, it probably wouldn’t end well for the boy’s pride.
“Playing with somebody’s feelings isn’t funny, Changbin. Especially if they’re a close friend.” Oh. Interesting. It certainly wasn’t a creative dare, but a classic. He could only wonder who the victim would be.
“He’ll get over it I promise. Remember how much I paid Minho? I’ll give you double.” Double? He gave Minho $100, not including the money that went into the theatrics of his performance.
“...And you’ll buy him lunch for the next week.”
“Deal. We should head back by now. I’m surprised Jeongin hasn’t barged in by now demanding his donuts.”
“Me too. Not gonna lie, it’s kinda cute when he tries to be angry about something as simple as donuts.”
Changbin pretend to cough, adding in a “Whipped”. Only to be punched by Chan who denies any accusations. As they reach the cash register Jeongin makes his way out in order to process everything he had just heard.
Changbin is paying Chan $200 if he continues out a dare. The dare has something to do with pretend romance with someone else in the friend group who is unaware. Chan finds Jeongin cute. Wait. What. Unable to process this fact Jeongin misses Chan sitting back down at the table calling out to him.
“Jeongin. Hello?” Chan waves his hand in front of Jeongin, finally catching the boys attention.
“Yeah?”
“Sorry for the hold up. Changbin is paying, he’ll be out with the food in a minute.”
“Took you long enough.”
Chan chuckles. “Sorry… Hey Jeongin?”
“Yep?”
“Do you wanna go on a date with me?”
With that, Jeongin’s brain completely shuts down. No way. Chan just asked him out. HIs best friend, out of the blue, just… oh. ‘This is what Changbin meant’ he thinks. The sparkle in his eyes fade, and a frown begins to form on his face. Chan is painfully aware. Dreading a response.
“I, I heard. You and Chanbin. I already know what you’re trying to do so I’m gonna have to say no. Sorry I couldn’t entertain you guys but this isn’t really funny. In fact, it’s a really shitty thing to do, to any of your friends. I get you guys are trying to be funny but maybe next imes, try not to be inconsiderate assholes.”
Guilt eats away at Chan. He knew this was a stupid idea. “Yeah, you’re right, I’m really sorry Innie. I didn’t want to do it, but what Changbin wants, Changbin gets right?”
Unimpressed by the attempt at humor and still angry at being played, Jeongin crosses his arms and turns away, finding the dog across the street much more interesting. He knew it was just a joke, but why does it still hurt so much to here those words from the boy he likes? It all felt so unfair.
“I knew you’d probably be really upset about this, but I making him buy you lunch for the next week so that’s kind of a consolation prize, yeah?”
He knew he should just take it, but he was so tired of hiding any semblance of feelings to the boy. Maybe with a hint he would get it and realize? With his last strand of courage he mumbles a small, “I’d rather you just meant the first thing.”
Chan blinked. And blinked. He had to have misheard, right? There’s no way. God the world was so cruel. The boy was still only 16! He wanted to shout. He wanted to take it all back, to ask without Changbin’s stupid dare being the reason. He wanted to hold Jeongin and tell him how much he really did want to take the boy out and take care of him. But he couldn’t. Not yet. But he couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste, right? If he asked the boy to repeat, he’d probably just retreat back into his shell and be angry the rest of the day. This was his sort of chance. What could he use. How could he seem as cool and nonchalant as possible. Fuck. He tried to observe what he had with him. Cash? No, then he’d seem like Binnie. Fuck number 2. A convenience store receipt? Great, how charming. Fuck number three. He was running out of time. The stress was killing him. God, he could really use one of the smoothies Changbin was buying. Wait.
“Wait right here” He didn’t wait for a response as he bolted back into the store. Inside Changbin was busying himself with making the ramen. “Bin, you paid already right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Takingthisreallyquick,needit,thanks,bye.” He spit out response before grabbing one of the drinks and running back out. Jeongin was still sitting with his arms crossed, head down looking worse than ever.
Sometimes Chan felt really stupid.
Settling back into his chair, he placed the drink in front of Jeongin.
He looked up, only to be dissapointed. “You know I hate the pineapple raspberry flavor.” FUCK. He had to think of something smooth, and quick.
“I’ll mean it.”
“Huh?”
“Next time. The next time I buy this for you, this pineapple raspberry smoothie from a convenience store. I’ll take you on a date.”
Not wanted to be tricked again. He brushed the elder off. “Yeah sure, and the next time my dad comes back, he’ll say he wants to be part of the family again.” Chan winced at that. Crap. Maybe that was taking it too far. Try again. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
“Because if there’s one thing I never want to do, it’s hurt you. This is a promise. And I’ll keep it til the day I die.” Chan had never been so serious before but that’s really how he knew the elder meant his words.
“Okay.”
***
Since that day, Chan had never given him a pineapple raspberry smoothie. Even when Jeongin decided to try some of Jisungs that same year and discovered the drink tasting amazing compared to when he first tried it at age 10. He used to hope he’d receive that drink from Chan, but after a whole year of waiting and never getting, he gave up. He never thought he’d see that damned smoothie in Chan’s hand again.
Drink outstretched toward him, he heard the words he never thought he’d here again from the man he so desperately loved.
“Yang Jeongin, will you go on a date with me?”
~~~~~
The silence was killing him not gonna lie. His arm was pretty tired too and his smile wobbled a bit as the seconds ticked by. Just give him a little more time, he’s probably just shocked. Don’t panic. One...two… three...This is getting really awkward. Shit, I should’ve thought this through. Don’t panic! DO NOT...four...five...okay PANIC.
“Imeanyoudon’thavetoanswermerightnowIjusthtoughtmaybeIshouldshootmyshotandI’vewaitedreallylongtotellyouI’msorryfuckthiswasabadideawasn’tit?I’lljust-”
“Hyung!”
Chan snapped his mouth shut immediately upon realization of his rambling. “Sorry”, he mumbled.
Jeongin felt a little bad for keeping the man hanging but who could blame him? The guy he’s like for over three years just confessed to him. It was a little hard to believe.
“This… this isn’t a joke right? Changbin’s not gonna pop out of store laughing?”
“No, no of course not! I meant what I said that day. The next time I give this to you I’ll mean it. The date thing.”
It was hard. Jeongin wanted to jump in joy and hug Chan as tight as humanly possible but his insecurities kept crawling back in, whispering cruelties in his ears. Chan said he meant it, just trust him. Slowly, he reached out and grabbed the drink, giving it a sip. He looked back up to a very nervous Chan, giving him a warm smile. “Okay.”
Chan beamed. “Okay?”
“I’ll go on a date with you.
It was endearing, how Chan’s face lit up like a child who was given candy. Embarrassed by the reaction, Jeongin quickly got out of his seat, drink in hand and headed toward the apartment.
“Hey, where are you going?” Chan whined.
“Home, I’m tired.”
Stopped by the streetlight, Jeongin waited hoping Chan wouldn’t catch up to see his flushed face. Of course, that didn’t happen. Sooner than hoped, he felt warm arms wrap around his waist and chin rest on his shoulder. If the boy thought his face couldn’t get any redder, he was proven wrong by the following events.
Plush lips quickly pecked his cheek, shocking the younger. “H-Hyung!”
“Hm?” He looked over to the elder, still hugging him, a cheeky grin spread across his face.
“What are you doing?!”
“What, I can’t kiss my boyfriend?” Chan teased.
“I never placed labels on us yet.” He turned away skeptically, almost hoping to be proven wrong.
Chan hummed, pretending to mull over the thought. “Well no, but it sounds nice doesn’t it?”
“Unbelievable”, Jeongin mumbled, but the small smile forming said otherwise.
The light turned green, and the two continued to walk, Chan still wrapped around the younger like a koala.
“Hyung, I’m tired as is, get your dumb muscle mass off me.”
“Say no more, I know just what you need.”
“Yeah, I need you to-- CHAN WHAT ARE DOING”
Jeongin screeched as Chan laughed, scooping the small boy into his arms and continuing the short trek home.
“You said you were tired so I’m making the trip easier for you.” He placed another quick kiss on Jeongin cheek, causing him to blush madly at all the affection his hyung was showing him.
“Y-You really didn’t have to.”
“I know. But I’ve kinda waited 4 years to hold you like this,” A gentle squeeze to his shoulder, “call you mine, like this” Looking into his eyes Jeongin felt he was seeing through Chan, everything he was willing to give for the boy, a rare, unconditional love. “And kiss you,” Chan paused making sure Jeongin felt comfortable then leaned in unbearably slow, them closing the gap, a gentle push of lips, confessing emotions and passions that couldn’t properly said with words.The kiss was pure, and oh so warm, everything both boys could’ve asked for as a first between each other. He pulled away, merely centimeters, fondly gazing at the boy he could now call his. Softly finishing, “like this.”
Still dazed from the moment Jeongin simply stared, mouth slightly open in awe, before pulled himself back together. Unsure of how to react in such an honest moment he spoke the first words that came to mind. “You’re an awful romantic guy, huh.”
Chan laughed at that, pulling open the door to their complex and proceeding up the stairs. Stairs that he normally dreaded. Somehow always reminding him of the longer journey that remained of life. The harsh feeling of holding back love he felt of the boy he knew would be waiting for him, just three floors above, and five doors to the left. But now he walked up them with a new strength, new vigor that brought him hope. And the boy who he no longer had to wait for. Because time was now on his side. “I guess I am, huh? But only for you.”
FIN.