Work Text:
It's weird. Sometimes, the noisiest places-- the ones filled with crowds-- are the spaces in which you feel most alone. But to be fair, Jaebum isn't really alone right now. He counts them-- he knows a total number of seven people here. Yet, he doesn't talk to any of them. Sure he's friends with these people, but Jaebum isn't that close to them-- they, too, have company that they're more comfortable with-- so much more than Jaebum's company.
Hence, he only stays silent in his seat, observing his tablemates as they check their phones and nod along to the music. As he takes another sip of his drink, he looks up at the blinking lights on the tent's plain white ceiling-- imagining them as stars. Because when he looks up at the night sky instead, he sees only darkness. And despite his cold, quiet demeanor, Jaebum knows he's surprisingly fond of bright, gentle things-- especially the ones that remind him of stars and sunshine.
Suddenly, he feels a vibration from the phone in his hand-- it's a message notification from Youngjae. Despite the slight inebriation, Jaebum's face lights up. Suddenly, he feels less alone.
Youngjae: jb-hyung get me out of heeeere
Jaebum: lol where are u
Youngjae: library
Youngjae: im studying for a test
Youngjae: but i dont want to anymore it’s so boring
Youngjae: get me out of here hyuuuuuuung
Jaebum: im at a gig rn
Youngjae: not like ur having fun there anyway
Jaebum: how would u know
Youngjae: well
Youngjae: y r u chatting with me instead of hAviNG fUn there??
Jaebum: hey u messaged first
Youngjae: lol i bet ur enjoying this conversation more than the gig
Jaebum smiles upon reading Youngjae’s last message because he knows that the younger boy is right. Up until Youngjae messaged him, he hasn’t felt this sincerely happy the entire time he’s been here. He stands up and takes a last sip of his drink before taking off from the noisy gathering. Once he makes his way past the throng of people energetically jumping and swaying along to the music, Jaebum immediately sends Youngjae a reply.
Jaebum: on my way to the library
He walks back towards the university, passing by a number of fast food establishments and bars-- all filled with customers, most likely students taking a break from the drudgery of school work. It was a Friday night, after all. Even Jaebum himself was pretty exhausted after an entire week of having to catch up on lectures and submitting papers minutes before the deadline. Hence why he took up an invitation to go to a gig with a few acquaintances, only to end up getting separated from them as the gathering grew livelier and more crowded.
He went there with the intention of enjoying this evening. He was supposed to get lost in euphoria in the middle of that crowd. He was supposed to forget about the weight of all the things stressing him out at school. Yet, he only felt lonely. Thankfully, that changed when he felt his heart lighten upon receiving that message from a certain someone who surprisingly always manages to make Jaebum feel a little better.
Soon, Jaebum hears the familiar monotonous splashing of water coming from the library fountain. Upon realizing where he is, Jaebum looks around-- trying to catch sight of Youngjae. He checks his phone for any messages from the other boy, but sees no new replies. Disappointed, Jaebum sits by the fountain as he begins typing a new message to let the other know where he is.
Soon, the door to the library opens and Youngjae emerges-- face lighting up immediately upon seeing Jaebum.
“Hyung!” Youngjae waves at the older boy and walks excitedly towards him.
Jaebum looks up from his phone and is greeted by a vibrant smile from Youngjae. He can already sense that this night is only bound to get better.
“What do you want to do?” Jaebum asks as he stands up.
“I don’t know. I just told you to get me out of here.” Youngjae shrugs, smirking at the older boy. He reaches out a hand at Jaebum, waiting for the other to take it.
As Jaebum takes the younger’s hand in his, he takes in the warmth from it and notes how comfortably their hands intertwine with each other. He pulls on Youngjae’s hand, only to feel the other boy resisting to move from where he stood. Confused, Jaebum raises an eyebrow at the other questioningly.
“Hm?”
“So where are you taking me?” Youngjae continues to smirk at him.
Jaebum thinks for a moment. Perhaps he could try taking Youngjae to the gig? Or maybe one of the bars he passed by earlier? Too noisy, he thinks. And he doesn’t feel like going back to places like those after the gig from earlier. Maybe a fast food? But wait, it’s way past dinner time. Youngjae’s probably had dinner already.
Jaebum sighs in defeat. Guess he’ll just decide later when they’re finally outside of school.
“Out of here,” Jaebum finally replies. He pulls on Youngjae’s hand again and this time, the younger boy follows-- his gentle laughter echoing into the night.
They walk out of school, and into the lively streets basking under neon lights and reveling in the cheers and chatter of a youthful crowd of students. Jaebum doesn’t have much time to think of where to go, but decides to go with his favorite coffee shop in the quieter and quainter parts of the boulevard. He usually only goes here to study, but this should do.
After all, when it’s with Youngjae, he prefers smaller, quieter, cozy places that remind him of home. Youngjae is special to Jaebum in that way. The younger boy fits his picture of home.
Once they reach the entrance of the coffee shop, Jaebum pushes open the door for Youngjae, gesturing for the other to enter first. He follows after Youngjae and they both decide to take a seat at one of the tables near the window.
“Is there anything you want? Tea? Latte? Chocolate?” Jaebum stands up after setting down his things under the table.
“Is this your treat?” Youngjae asks, grinning at the other boy.
“No. Pay me back by writing my philosophy essay for me,” Jaebum jokingly answers.
“Alright, then I’m leaving.” Youngjae shrugs and pretends to ready his things to go out of the coffee shop when Jaebum suddenly puts his hands on the younger boy’s shoulders, and pushes him back down onto his seat.
“Yes, it’s my treat. You’re not going anywhere,” Jaebum says with a chuckle.
“Hot chocolate, then.”
“With marshmallows?” Jaebum asks.
“With marshmallows,” Youngjae answers, smiling as he raises his thumbs up in confirmation of his order.
“Alright. I’ll be back.”
Youngjae watches the older boy approach the counter, the smile soon fading from his lips. He looks outside the window instead, watching people and things and time pass by, when a couple walking with their hands intertwined together comes into view. The sight makes Youngjae wonder if he and Jaebum looked that sweet when they were walking together outside.
He examines the palm of his hand that the older boy was holding a while ago. Youngjae traces the lines of his palm with a finger and wonders if Jaebum thought anything of it. He probably doesn’t, does he? -- an unwelcome thought crosses his mind. Youngjae shakes his head in an attempt to get rid of such thoughts and then looks back at the window. He ponders on his reflection, wondering if Jaebum will ever feel something more for him.
It’s been months since Youngjae realized his feelings for Jaebum. It wasn’t a grand kind of realization. He couldn’t even pinpoint the exact moment that made him realize he was falling in love. Perhaps it was a lot of things-- a lot of mundane moments between the two of them. It was as mundane as Youngjae waking up in the bus with his head leaning on Jaebum’s shoulder. It was as mundane as Youngjae bumping into Jaebum during lunch time and the other inviting him to eat out together. It was as mundane as Jaebum waiting outside Youngjae’s classroom so they could walk home together after class.
Youngjae’s come to terms with his own feelings and now, he’s just waiting for Jaebum. He’s waited long, but he’s still waiting, hoping despite everything. He convinces himself that it’ll be fine-- that he’ll be fine even if Jaebum never returns his feelings. Because that’s how love works, right?
When Jaebum finally comes back to their table, he’s holding a large cup of coffee and a cup of hot chocolate. He sets them down on their table before he takes a seat across the younger boy. Youngjae turns to the other, feigns a smile and starts, “So why a coffee shop? Don’t tell me we’re here to study.”
Jaebum laughs and gently pushes the cup of hot chocolate towards Youngjae.
“Don’t worry, we’re not. We’re just going to talk over a cup of coffee. And hot chocolate. You know, typical hanging out stuff.”
“What is this? A date?” Youngjae asks with a smirk as he stirs the hot chocolate with a teaspoon.
“It’s me indulging you on your request to get your ass out of the library,” Jaebum says lightheartedly as he reaches out to pinch Youngjae’s cheeks.
“Hyung!” Youngjae bursts into laughter and Jaebum does the same.
When the two finally quiet down, Youngjae goes back to stirring his hot chocolate and catches Jaebum still smiling at him. Suddenly, Youngjae feels his face warming up and shyly places his palms on his cheeks. Jaebum notices and chuckles at the sight of the younger boy being all shy.
“Wh-what? Why are you laughing?” Youngjae asks, sinking into his seat with palms still on his cheeks.
“Nothing, nothing. You’re just--” Jaebum cuts himself off with his own laughter.
“I’m what? Is there something on my face?” Youngjae says with worry in his voice.
“You’re just cute,” Jaebum finally continues, his laughter dying down.
“Oh. Thanks.” Youngjae only blushes further at that. He takes a sip of the hot chocolate and stares down at the marshmallows now melting in the cup. He can still feel Jaebum’s eyes on him so he continues to look down at his drink.
A few moments of silence pass between the two of them when suddenly, Youngjae feels a hand on his cheek, making him finally lift his head up to look at Jaebum. This time, the older boy isn’t laughing nor smiling, but he has a tender expression on his face. Still with his palm on the other’s cheek, Jaebum says, “I’m glad you messaged me.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re right. I wasn’t really having fun at that gig.”
Despite Jaebum’s hand making the younger boy face him, Youngjae still attempts to look away. Youngjae’s grip on the cup of hot chocolate tightens.
“I’d rather be with you,” Jaebum continues.
Youngjae doesn’t know what to say. He’s overwhelmed once again and he can’t find the words to say to that. He still finds it hard to believe that despite Jaebum’s cold demeanor, the older boy is capable of saying things like this-- words that make his heart flutter, words that make him want to melt right then and there. Youngjae knows that the other probably isn’t aware of how much of an effect their words have on him. Jaebum-hyung probably doesn’t think anything of this, right?
That’s when Jaebum lifts his hand to place it on top of Youngjae’s. The younger boy lets go of his grip on the cup, and Jaebum takes that as an opportunity to intertwine their hands together.
“Youngjae.”
The younger boy only remains silent, trying to distract himself by looking outside the window.
“I’m not sure how to say this but--”
Youngjae’s still waiting and hoping, but admittedly, he’s also scared.
“--I think you feel like home.
At that, Youngjae turns to face Jaebum again. The older boy is looking at him with gentle, hopeful eyes-- as if to say I hope you feel the same. And he does. Youngjae looks down at their hands clasped together, then looks up to flash the other a gentle smile.
I’m glad I waited, Youngjae thinks.
---
“So it was a date, wasn’t it?” Youngjae asks, stopping just in front of the dorms with Jaebum who had offered to walk him home.
“I guess so,” Jaebum answers with a smile.
“When’s the next one?”
“This one hasn’t even ended yet, Youngjae,” the older boy says with a chuckle.
“Oh? How does it end, anyway?” Youngjae asks, raising an eyebrow at the other.
“Like this.”
Jaebum places a hand on Youngjae’s cheek, gazing at the younger boy lovingly. Moments after, he closes his eyes and places a gentle kiss on Youngjae’s forehead. It catches Youngjae off-guard, but he welcomes it nonetheless. After all, it feels like home being this close to Jaebum.