Chapter Text
Why couldn’t he say it? It was just two letters, one syllable, one sound. All he had to say was, “no” and all of this would be over. He wouldn’t need to suffer the humiliation and the pain any longer. He could be free from the fear. If only he could say no. If only he could even try! But the moment the word begins to form on his lips, another pair covers his and silences him. He closes his eyes and endures because there is nothing left to say.
He couldn’t fight. He couldn’t stop this torment. He couldn’t stop the man whose name he had long since forgotten, but for as long as Izuku Midoriya lived, he will never forget this person’s face. The lust. The need. His eyes were full of such things. The abuse. The assault. He will never forget the things that had been done to him. He won’t forgive.
Instead, Midoriya will let himself fade into oblivion. It had been days since he last ate or drank anything anyways. He would be able to slip into unconsciousness easily if he so chose. It might mean a few more bruises later, but for now sleep was the only “no” he could muster and the only one he could control.
He slept through the raid and the rescue. He slept through the ride to the hospital. He slept through concerned voices and phone calls. He just slept.
When he awoke, he expected to be in that dungeon-like room. He didn’t know what to make of the hospital. He didn’t know what to make of the people around him.
When the nurses first came to check on him, he flinched away. He didn’t know what they wanted with him. He didn’t know what those new instruments did. Was the Man behind this charade? Was he being punished? To be safe, he muttered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Please forgive me. I swear, it won’t happen again.”
The nurse’s eyes clouded with pity. “No, you’re okay, hon. You’re safe now. If I just woke up after everything you’ve been through then I’d be a bit jumpy too.”
The woman knew. How did she know? He wasn’t supposed to tell anybody! Maybe… maybe that was the test! Maybe the Man was seeing if he will tell strangers, especially nice ones, what he went through. It seemed like something he would do.
“I’m sorry, but what do you mean what I went through? I just went to sleep and woke up here. If at all possible, I just want to go home. I’m sure that everybody there is worried about me.” Midoriya was lying. The Man didn’t care, but if this was a test he would need to believe that Midoriya thought he did.
“I’m glad you bring that up!” The woman seemed confused at his response, but let it slide for now. It was something the doctors warned her might happen. Memory suppression and amnesia. It was natural. “You see, we managed to contact your mother! Isn’t that wonderful, baby? It took some time, but she is so looking forward to seeing you again.”
Midoriya’s eyes widened and he felt ice settle in his chest. No. No. No. NO! This can’t be happening. She wasn’t supposed to find out. He wasn’t allowed to see her! How was he supposed to pass this test if the Man was going to use his mother against him again?
“I-I-I can’t see her, ma’am. I’m afraid I simply can’t. Please, tell her she should stay as far away from me as possible. I don’t want her to see me. Please.” But that was another lie. He wanted to see his mother, cry, and hug her. He never wanted to let her go again. It was letting go of her that put him in such a position as the one he found himself in now.
“I’m sorry, babydoll, but she’s already here. We were just waiting for you to wake up to let her in. Like I said, she really wanted to see you.”
“NO! YOU CAN’T! SHE CAN’T! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND! HE WILL HURT HER! I CAN’T LET HER NEAR ME! TELL HER TO LEAVE! TELL HER TO GO! TELL HER TO RUN! SHE CAN’T BE HERE! HE WON’T LIKE IT! PLEASE!” He began to panic. He can’t have this. He can’t fail this test. He… he… he can’t say “yes” again! It had to be a “no.” No matter what happened, no matter what he wanted, it had to be no.
Midoriya began sobbing. He felt a prick in his skin and soon the world became darkness again. But he didn’t sleep. He would never sleep again if that was the reality he woke to.
When his vision returned, Midoriya saw a short, plump lady with green hair sleeping in the chair by his bedside. She looked familiar, but he couldn’t place her. He knew she wasn’t a nurse though. They had just come through moments ago. Who was this woman?
The woman woke up suddenly and saw him staring at her. Immediately she burst into tears. She jumped out of the chair and hugged him close to her chest. He felt her unsteady breathing and heard her erratic heartbeat.
“I-I-Izuku! I thought I’d never… I’d never see you again! I’m sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry! I promise not to let it happen again. I promise! Just, please, don’t tell me to leave. Come home, Izuku. Please. I left your room the way it was before you left, and I just…”
The sobbing increased in volume before the sobs turned into muffled whimpers. The tears slowed and her breathing evened out. Midoriya decided it was safe to talk now.
“Who… who are you? Is this… part of the test too?” He whispered the last part. He had a suspicion on who this woman was, and his heart was sinking. It couldn’t be true. The Man wouldn’t bring in his REAL mother to a test… would he?
The woman began crying again.
“You, you don’t remember me? It hasn’t been that long. I know what he did to you might have messed with your memory, but I didn’t think it would erase me from them… Oh, baby. Why would I test you? I’m Inko Midoriya, and I’m your mother. I know you said you didn’t want to see me, but I still had to come. I love you too much to leave you alone.”
“Wh- what do you mean? If this isn’t a test… then what is this? Where am I? What happened? Why are you here? How? I’m so confused.” And he was. None of this made sense. Where was the Man? Where was he? What happened?
“You mean you don’t know? Nobody told you?”
Midoriya shook his head. “N—I have not.”
He still couldn’t say that word.
“Well, I can’t tell you much because not much has been said, but apparently you were found in an illegal, underground bar. The police had been investigating the place for months and finally had enough evidence to raid the place. They found you passed out in the basement. They almost didn’t see you, but you groaned and they saw you wrapped up in some shabby blankets. So, they called the ambulance and now you’re in the hospital. They did some investigation and saw you matched the Missing Persons Ad I posted back when you were first taken. They contacted me, and now I’m here. And-and-and I’m so HAPPY YOU’RE OKAY!”
The waterworks came once again, and Izuku cried with the woman. With his mother. Was it really over? Was he really safe?
~
He was discharged after a few more days of observation. His extreme dehydration and starvation had been handled and he was no longer in danger. His bruises had healed. The only condition for his discharge was that he see a therapist.
“The extreme conditions he was found in and the trauma we discovered may have left him with some serious mental issues.”
They said they understood and Izuku left the hospital with his mother. He had no luggage. He had nothing to even change into, but his mother had bought him some clothes earlier. They were a little big, but he forgave her. She didn’t know his size anymore. He had been gone for five years, after all. He was a stranger to the people and the things around him. His own mother was a stranger to him.
He took the world in with wide eyes. The Man didn’t let him go outside. The fancy buildings and sheer amount of people left him in awe. He almost felt crowded. However, he reveled in the sense of anonymity he got from the city. Nobody spared him a second glance. He didn’t see any lustful gazes. He was safe here.
Izuku smiled for the first time in five years.
It was strange to be home. The last time he was here was when he was fifteen and heading out to a shopping trip with some of his friends from school. His room was still filled with his embarrassing collection of superhero memorabilia. The adult content was still stored in the secret compartment of his dresser. It felt… untouched. Enshrined. He wasn’t sure how to feel. This was a journey back through time he wasn’t ready to deal with. His chest constricted. His breaths came out raspy, quick, and it was like he couldn’t get enough air.
He didn’t belong here! This wasn’t his room anymore. This was an innocent boy’s room. This place did not belong to the twenty-year-old Izuku Midoriya. He was tainting the memory of this room. He had to get out of here.
Izuku cried in the hallway for a good twenty minutes. When he was done, he did not go back into the room that was not his. Instead, he called his mom and asked if she would be willing to go shopping with him. He had to redecorate. He needed clothes. He needed to be away from the happy home he didn’t fit into anymore.
~
Mama Midoriya was always composed. She knew what to do and how to handle every situation. At least, when he was sixteen, that’s how Katsuki Bakugo viewed the woman in front of him. Then Izuku went missing and she fell apart. She was frantic. She searched for the boy for days without rest. His mother had to bring the hysterical woman over so she would finally rest and eat. So she would calm down. She was only hurting herself at that point. The police were looking. He would be found soon.
Everybody believed he would be found soon. Nobody expected the search to turn from days to weeks to months. Months turned into years, and soon nobody thought he was coming home again. The police stopped their active search. Mama Midoriya didn’t stop. She was going to find her baby. Katsuki remembers one particular conversation clearly.
His mom and Mama were talking in the living room. It was a year after Izuku disappeared, and his mom wanted to know why Mama Midoriya kept looking.
“I know many people think he is dead,” she said with a false sense of calm, “but I just can’t believe that. When he was born, I felt a new piece of my heart grow. That piece isn’t empty. Not yet. It hurts most days, and I end up crying for my lost little one, but it isn’t empty. That’s how I know he is alive. He is alive and wanting his mom and I’ll be damned if when we find him I have to tell him his mom gave up. I won’t let him ever think I abandoned him. I have never once lost hope of ever seeing my baby again, so Mitsuki. Don’t tell me to stop or slow down. Don’t tell me to give up on my baby. I won’t.”
“Okay.”
It wasn’t often that his mother was at a loss for words. It wasn’t often that she cried, but Katsuki remembered that conversation because that was the only time he ever saw both come true for his mom. He will never forget it.
He also will never forget the day that came to pass almost a week ago. He will never forget the pure joy and triumph that radiated off of Mama Midoriya. He knew what she was going to say before she even opened her mouth.
“They found him.”
The whole house was in shock. The shock faded into the infectious joy that was rolling off the older woman. They found him. Five fucking years and the boy was finally found.
“FUCK YEAH!” He remembers screaming. He wasn’t chastised. They all felt the same way. Nothing could bring them down! But something did.
The sound of sobs broke through the happy noise.
“Inko?”
“Mama Midoriya?”
The woman was crying. She tried to wave off their concern, but was unsuccessful.
“I’m sorry. I know this is supposed to be a happy time, but… the doctor….”
She couldn’t stop crying. What she confessed when she calmed down is another thing that Katsuki Bakugo will never forget.
“He thinks the people who kept him raped him. Starved him. Beat him. The number of scars and lack of nutrition point to the fact. And… he’s so small. He had always been small, but it was like he never grew! Mitsuki… they said he didn’t want to see me! They had to sedate him after he started screaming about how seeing him would mean I get hurt. What can I do? How can I stop this pain? What will ever help him?”
These are the memories that plagued his mind when Mama Midoriya answered her phone and said, “Izuku! Yes? Are you okay? Well, if you want. I’ll be over soon.”
“Sorry, Mitsuki! My son called. He needs to pick some things up.”
“Be safe!”
“Will do! See you again soon.”
Without thinking about it, Katsuki spoke up.
“Can I come with?”
Mama Midoriya looked hesitant for all of two seconds before she nodded, and they were headed out.
~
He didn’t know that blond stranger, and yet he did. It was a weird feeling. He was waiting for his mother. He didn’t expect to see him of all people.
“Kacchan?”
The boy nodded. Izuku’s mouth dropped open.
“What are you doing here? Why?” He turned to his mom in askance.
“Katsuki here asked to tag along with our shopping trip! That’s okay, right?”
Izuku slowly nodded, “I wasn’t expecting this is all.”
“Be grateful, nerd.”
Izuku just nodded again.
It was so surreal. He didn’t expect to be reunited with his childhood friend like this. The possibility never even crossed the threshold of his mind. It was too much.
Izuku numbly browsed the paint aisle. He was looking for a more muted color than the yellow that adorned his walls before. Maybe a gray or dark blue?
“This what you’re looking for, nerd?”
Izuku glanced up. Green eyes met red. He blushed.
“Y-y-yes?” It wasn’t. It was an awful rose pink.
“Liar.”
“Sh-shut up.”
The two fell into silence for a moment.
“What color?”
“Huh?”
“What color are you looking for?”
“You don’t need…”
“What. Color.”
“Dark? Blue or gray.”
“No.”
“What?”
“You’re not getting those damn dark ass colors. You’ll look like you’re going emo. You’ll do better with a more relaxing color. Like… this one.”
Kacchan held up a red can of paint.
Izuku snorted. He couldn’t help it.
“What’s so damn funny?”
“It’s just… you show me pink and now red. You really want me to think about your eyes that much? How self-centered, Kacchan.” Izuku started laughing. It… had been a long time since he was able to laugh.
“Shut up, you idiot! That wasn’t what I was going for and you know it!” He was blushing profusely. “It’s just supposed to be a relaxing color, and ah, hell.”
Izuku couldn’t stop laughing. “Kacchan! I’m dying!”
“If you die your mom will kill me,” he grumbled, still embarrassed.
“You’re right.”
“How about this one?”
This time Kacchan was holding a very pale gray.
“I like it.”
“Thought so. And it isn’t moody as fuck. Let’s go.”
The two walked out of the store with their newly purchased paint and mother shadow. None of the three noticed the figure watching them from inside the store.
~
Several clothing stores later, everybody finally returned to the Midoriya residence. They ended up buying new bed sheets and pillows, clothes, paint, and shoes. It was a productive day to say the least.
As soon as they got back, Izuku got to work. He threw all the memorabilia into a bag to give away, stripped the bed, laid down trash bags, and started to paint the room. The yellow quickly succumbed to the gray. Izuku wouldn’t be able to sleep in the room for a few days due to the fumes, but he was fine remaining on the couch. He would’ve ended up sleeping there anyways with how unwelcome he felt in the room as it had been.
Katsuki soon joined his old friend in the painting. They didn’t talk for a while. When they did, it was Izuku who broke the silence.
“Kacchan, what happened?”
“That’s what I should be asking you.”
“No, I mean to you. You weren’t this nice to me before, were you?”
“…no. I wasn’t. I was a sixteen-year-old prick.”
“Then… what happened?”
“I grew up. You went missing. I decided I was a jerk and how I acted that day probably pushed you away. If I hadn’t acted out then you might have stayed with the group. You might not have gone missing. That kind of thinking changes you.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
They continued painting in silence.
“Izuku?”
“Mmm?”
“I’m sorry for how I was back then.”
“I’ve long since forgiven you, Kacchan.”
“I know. You were always too nice for your own good. I just had to say it.”
“Feel better?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Izuku?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you know I liked you?”
Izuku looked up sharply. He did not know that. Katsuki chuckled.
“I take that as a no. I can’t say I’m surprised. I was a little shit. Emotionally constipated as fuck too. I took those feelings and tried to hide them. I didn’t want to like you. I didn’t want to like boys in general. It made me act out. It made me hurt you. Again, I’m sorry. I don’t expect anything from you, either. I just wanted to say it. I’ve come to terms with it and even dated a boy once. His name was Kirishima. It didn’t work out.”
“I’m… sorry?”
“Nah, don’t be. I was a little shit, remember? It was really my fault. He wanted to be more serious. I wanted to run away. I wasn’t ready. I broke it off.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Did… did you know that I liked boys too? Is that why you liked me, or what?”
“Huh? No. I assumed you were straight given how attached you were to that Uraraka girl. I didn’t think I stood a chance. Another reason why I was evil.”
“Oh. Well, yeah. I like guys too. She was the only one I ever told so I was a lot closer to Uraraka than anybody else as a result.”
“Ah, that makes sense.”
“Yeah.”
The room was finally painted. The boys had no more excuse not to look at one another. They blushed. They shared more than they thought they would.
“It looks nice. Thank you for helping me, Kacchan.”
“Anytime.”
“So…”
“Yeah. I’ll get going. But, first, Izuku?”
“Mmm?”
“Go on a date with me?”
“Sure.”
“Really? Awesome! So… good night! I’ll text you later.”
“See ya. Night.”
The boy left. Izuku crumpled to the floor. Why couldn’t he ever say no? He wasn’t ready. He couldn’t get close to somebody again. He would hurt him. Taint him. This was going to be an interesting next few days. After all, Kacchan liked him!
~
Katsuki Bakugo stared at the ceiling in his room and wondered what the fuck he had just done before he messaged,
B: Tomorrow. 10 am. Station. Don’t be late.
M: See you then!!
He was so totally screwed.
~
Ten o’clock came. Katsuki had been there since 9:30. It was now 10:01 and Izuku just showed up.
“Oi! You’re late!”
“By one minute, Kacchan. Really?”
“Really.”
“Shut up. Where are we going?”
“To the Aquarium.”
“Such a basic date,” Izuku teased.
“Shut up, nerd. You coulda said no, you know?”
“…right.”
When they got to the aquarium, Izuku lost his mind.
“This is so cool! Are there really that many fish? THAT ONE IS SO CUTE! Where did they come from?! How have I never been here before, Kacchan, I think I’m in love.”
Katsuki smiled softly. He was too cute sometimes. However, something still felt off, like his heart wasn’t into the things he was saying. It was… concerning. But with the next wave of excited chatter, Katsuki let go of his misgivings. It’s all in his head, right? This was supposed to be fun, so they’ll have fun.
And they did. They ate, walked around, talked, and Katsuki even bought Izuku a little stuffed penguin after the dork wouldn’t shut up about them. Date: successful.
So why did everything still seem wrong?
~
Izuku hoped Kacchan didn’t notice. He did his best to hide how nervous he was. He did his best to pretend he was fine. Izuku was a ball of nerves though. He kept thinking he saw somebody following them. He kept thinking he was going to be taken. Every time somebody touched him, he flinched. He was okay. It would be okay.
The date itself was fine. It was fun. But… he was nervous. He wanted to go home.
He saw somebody in the edge of his vision and froze. It was… Him. But it couldn’t be. The police said he was locked up. But he wasn’t. What would he do?
Izuku grabbed onto Kacchan and walked away quickly.
“Let’s go home.”
He smiled brilliantly and hoped against hope that everything will be okay.