Chapter Text
A young man is capable of getting into immensely stupid situations.
He could make the decision to dye his hair blue or get overly drunk at a party.
The beginning of a new century could get him high on conspiracy theories about the millenia-bug, feeling free as if the world was going to end and before you know it he is bleeding out in an allyway.
Matthew Bellamy tumbled out of the door of a shabby little club somewhere in the debths of London. Loud voices and laughter following him outside, he himself still giggling about the cheerful New-Years eve atmosphere. He pulled a crumbled box of cigarettes out of his pocket, opened it and sighed at the sight of his last cigarette.
"bummer..."
Clumsily he stirred around his other pocket, it was a tad difficult for him due to the amount of alcohol he had already consumed that evening. He managed to find his lighter and phone and lit the cigarette. He looked down at his phone and sqinted at the text on the small green screen.
00.34
1.1.2000
Matthew smiled to himself. The world didn't seem to have ended because of the switch of digits, even if the media was going absolutely wild about it. If something actually had happened he probably would have heard of it by now.
He took one last drag of the cigarette, then proceeded to throw it on the ground, little sparks scattering around it and immediately fading. He made his way back to the door, on his way lazily trying to step the small, burning stub out, missed and ignored it.
"if the world's not falling apart today, it won't if I talk to him..."
The door opened and he was greeted back in by steaming hot air and loud music. He was determined to find that one person he has been dying to talk to about something that has been tearing him apart inside. He was aware of the alcohol in his bloodstream and he was letting it lead his decisions. This night he was going to confess, what might be the strongest feeling he has felt in his entire life. Something that has kept him together and completely destroyed simultaneously. Matt looked around himself hecticly.
"Dominic!!"
There was no use trying to call for someone's name in a milieu like this. Though seconds after a strong hand found his shoulder. He spun around immediately to see who had touched him. It was a young man, the same age as his own, but with a big smile and dark curly hair. He was surrounded by a flock of overly excited girls, one of which had a tray of multiple small glasses balanced on her hand.
"Matt!! How's it going, lad! You look a tad worried, come have some shots with us!!!"
His speech sounded like his tongue stumbled over itself. A few more drinks and he'd be incapable of speaking all together.
"Chris!!! Good that I found you, have you seen Dom?"
"Dom?“, his thought process seemed to be taking Chris more effort than it should have. "I think I saw him disappear to the bathrooms not too long ago... But if I were you I wouldn-"
Matthew ignored the last words his bandmate wanted to convey to him, he had gotten the general destination and so he worked his way through drunken party people to the bathrooms. Light flashing around him and the crowd moving fast to the music made his vision blurry but his mind not any less determined.
Finally he reached the end of the line to the bathrooms. Matt jostled his way around the line, receiving angry mumbles from drunken people waiting to take a piss. He stumbled and caught himself on the doorframe. People were taking a step back, the small man sure made the impression of getting sick all over the floor.
And what he saw put a knot in his guts that he wanted to eject from his system almost immediately.
Dominic was snogging with a lady in a very short, glittery crop top, which couldn't even cover the hand he had pushed under her bra. He had hieved her on top of the counter by the sinks, bringing their crotches together, obviously not caring about in what kind of public situation he was in.
Now the world was crumbling. No courage left.
Even in the steady light from the neon tubes in the bathrooms Matt's vision started to blur.
He started running, before Dominic or anyone else could see his tears and ask questions he was now less than prepared for.
He held his breath, trying to keep in the knot that had spread from his gut to his throat, waiting there to release and expose all the emotions at once.
He didn't acknowledge the people angrily yelling after him as he shoved everyone on his path to the outside away.
Unfortunately he bumped into Chris one last time leaving him startled.
"Matt?"
Matthew didn't turn around. He bit his lip so hard it drew blood and didn't dare to breath until the cold air embraced him.
Now he was gasping. Gasping and choking on his sobs. The alcohol scrambled around his insides, his head, his thoughts and made the experience worse than he was able to handle. Sober for sure he would have known how Dom's behaviour didn't mean anything, nor was directed as a rejection towards him. This was what Matt didn't want to believe at that moment, he couldn't, he turned himself into a mess in which he dug deeper until he saw himself stuck in a black hole.
In his pocket he rediscovered his cigarette box only to find it empty.
"OH FUCKING BULLOCKS!!"
The impact of the small paper box on the pavement didn't make as much of a groundbreaking sound as Matt would have hoped for. He reached for his phone to call for a cab, but the screen only showed two parallel lines one at the top, one on the buttom. The device didn't react to any of the commands Matt was trying to type into it.
"BLOODY MILLENIA-BUG!!"
A crash and the sound of parts of plastic scattering over the ground. Matt was breathing heavily looking saddened upon the damage he had done. His rage had managed to smash the NOKIA phone into pieces.
"Oi mate take it easy"
The voice of some punk, that was leaning against a wall next to a well graffiti'd ATM machine made Matt jump.
"Seems like you got some issues to sort out. I could help you with that, for a price of course."
Matt threw him a glare. He still had not calmed down.
"I'm not looking for a shag, wanker. Also shouldn't you punk arse not be against the capitalistic exploitation of the suffering of others?"
The guy let out a delighted snicker.
"I don't want your money, boy, don't worry. Im just here to help a poor soul in need. So what happened? Found your girl doing in with another guy? Or worse?? "
Matt kept his focus on the floor, hoping that bastard would just jog off to bother someone else.
"Aww come on mate help me out here! Found your girl doing it with another girl? Your brother? Your best friend??"
The last statement earned the punk another deadly glare.
"Oooooohohohooo!! Gotcha! Mate I got just the thing for you. Let me help you out. I can send you on the greatest high of the new millenia! Just imagine! You could have such a good time while your ladylove and your bestfriend are probably getting it on right now in one of those dirty bathroom stalls. You know how it is! It all escalates so fast, the longing, the pleasure. Your buddy probably never wants to fuck anyone else after this. It's him and your girl happy forever without yo-"
"WILL YOU SHUT IT!!!?!"
Matt twirled around, ready to kill a man, new tears already building up in his eyes.
But the strange man was nowhere to be seen, as if he had never been there at all, only a mocking manifestation of Matt's doubt and rage.
Though he became scarily real once he showed back up right behind Matt, covering his mouth with hands provided with unnaturally long, claw like fingernails.
Matt's eyes went wide before he could properly grasp what was happening to him.
"Gotcha, mate..."
Matt felt how his head was forcibly tilted to the side before a set of teeth was buried in his neck.
There was pain. Such an amount of pain one would expect if their throat is being ripped out.
But then the pain faded into absolute Bliss in an instant. Matt's vision went from blurry to white and he lost consciousness. He didn't know or care how much blood he'd lose or the injuries he'd get from hitting the ground. It didn't matter. Dom didn't matter.
He was just falling away into a white void, feeling the sense of flying and falling at the same time, every emotion good and bad bleeding out of his body.
Is this what it feels like to die?
The whiteness around hin became thicker and began building pressure right at the point between his eyes.
He was left with nothing.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Breath in.
Suddenly all was back. He could feel the hard ground, his fingers scraping the little dents and stones of the pavement. So detailed, the ground, the sensation of the outside air brushing his skin and in his lungs.
Matthew started coughing heavily starting to vomit where he had lain seconds ago. He found himself in a small side alley next to some dumpsters. The smell was unbearable.
Slowly, together with his senses, the events of last night came back to him. Immediately his hand shot up to his neck where he suspected a gaping wound but only found smooth skin. Surprisingly he didnt seem to be injured in any way at all.
But in no way he was convinced none of this was real. He remembered the encounter with the cryptic punk guy and the one with Dominic in the bathroom very clearly.
Dominic...his rage was gone at least. Still hurt but his emotions were crystal clear now. He could finally think straight. He was in love with Dom that was a fact to him now that he could never escape but for the first time it actually felt good.
He got up on his feet with ease even though he had been knocked out on the floor for the whole night.
For the first time in a long time he smiled to himself. Whatever that guy did to him, it was good.
~~~
"Holy shite Matt!!!!!"
Dom and Chris were already greeting him at his front porch.
"Do you have any idea how worried we were?? I just saw you rushing out the club and then you were just gone! I collected Dom from the bathroom and we tried to call you but none of the phones were working! Mate do you have any idea what time it is? We thought you might have been kidnapped."
Dom was standing behind Chris who looked like he didn't get a minute of sleep, investigating the ground. He looked very worried as well, but didn't say anything as if he couldn't even bring himself to look Matt in the eye.
He had probably connected the dots and realised that he was the cause of Matt's outbreak.
Chris pulled him in for a big relieved hug.
"Fank wu for wowwing guyfs"
Matt mumbled into Chris' sweater. He glimpsed over Chris' shoulder and finally he met Dom's eyes. They were red and puffy as if he'd been crying a lot. Matt immediately felt bad for him. Now he found himself as the cause of the other ones despair.
"You guys wanna come upstairs for a bit?"
"Thanks Matt but I need to head home and get some sleep. I'm just super glad you're okay, but it's been a stressful night! I'm gonna scold you some more, once I got a clearer head again"
The curly haired man let out a repressed yawn, hugged Matt one more time, nodded at Dom and made his way up the street.
"Hey I'm so sorry okay...."
Something tugged on Matt's Jacket sleeve. Dom had grabbed a part of fabric and clung onto it as if he never wanted to let go. He was still completely silent and his eyes were fixed to the ground. Matt's heart began to race, his blonde friend was starting to make him worried.
"I'm gonna get you a glass of water"
He unlocked the door to his flat and threw the keys onto the next available surface. Dom actually did let go of the sleeve and proceeded to hurry to the living room where he let himself fall onto the couch and sat there hugging his legs.
Matt went to the kitchen to get two glasses of water, even though strangely he himself did not feel thirsty at all. He watched as the water poured into the glass, the small bubbles making it seem dull. After the second glass was filled he looked at the first. The bubbles had vanished and the water was as clear as it gets. What a strange image Matthew thought to himself.
"I have been cleared too..."
He knew it would be logical for him to be nervous around Dominic, but he wasn't. He had become clean about his feelings with himself, no more doubts, no more fear, just love.
"Dominic"
The hunched over man on the couch flinched.
"I am so sorry for leaving you worried, just a lot of incredibly strange things happened last ni-"
"I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, MATT!"
Dom had lifted his gaze, his eyes clearly tearing up again. He must have carried around a knot in his throat too. Matt's heart sunk to the core of the earth at Dominic's word's. He wasn't sure anymore if he did actually die that night and forgot all about his earlier serenity.
Dom was serious.
"I I I was mindlessly at the party while you were obviously struggling with something. I feel so bad I haven't noticed anything earlier and I'm worried you're going into a bad phase again. I I feel like I've neglected you I dont ever want you to think that Matthew, please I beg you. Once Chris told me you were gone all the places my mind went to were that I lost you, that you were out on the streets looking for a place to to... "
Dom fell over his own words and struggled to catch his voice again between his violent sobs.
Matt didn't even find the chance to sit down yet. He found himself frozen looking at his best friend, wide eyed.
Dom took a deep breath and found the courage to look into Matt's eyes once again.
"I can't stand to lose you, Matt"
The statement lingered in the silence of the room.
"Dom I...."
"I know you're sorry!"
"I love you"
Dom immediately went paralysed, in shock of Matt's words. Through all the commotion in Matt's inside this was the only thing left without fear, without doubt.
Dom slowly untangled his legs and placed his feet onto the ground.
One, two, three steps towards the younger, blue haired man and he was caressing his face carefully with his hands.
It happened so fast, Matt couldn't even process once again what was happening to him.
Dom's lips were placed onto his own and he felt his heart returning from the core of the earth and take over his head.
The two glasses of water shattered on the floor but neither him or the other could care.
Kissing Dom was so much softer than Matt had ever imagined, he closed his eyes in bliss and let the tears he had been saving for this moment for so long run.
They parted again after what felt like an eternity. Blue and grey eyes meet and finally they felt like they are not going to have to part again.
Dom buried his head in Matt's shoulder and let out a small chuckle.
"you stupid fucking wanker"
Matt giggled and wrapped his arms around the other.
"I'm so so sorry"
"stop saying that you're sorry"
"I'm..."
Dom tightened his hug so Matt would shut up.
"Can I sleep at your's today? I dont think I'd get a second of sleep if I didn't know you were right beside me"
"of course..."
They exchanged one more warm and relieved kiss. Before they headed to bed together to fall asleep hand in hand.