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Rays of sunlight shone dimly through the blinds beside Momo’s bed, prying her heavy eyelids open. After reconsidering being awake, she pulled her duvet over her head and turned to face the wall. It had been about a month—well, thirty-two days exactly, but she wasn't counting. No matter how many hours ticked by, though, no matter what menial task Momo filled her time with, periodically the realization would hit her like a truck: she was single. And she could probably have been taking it better.
She needed to get up and do something. Something small… like brush her teeth. She could brush her teeth; she just had to get up first. Momo slid off of her bed and lay on her floor for a few moments, then got up and shuffled to her bathroom. Her reflection in the mirror painted a tragic picture of herself with the dark circles under her eyes and her messy hair. Momo couldn't look at her pathetic visage for too long without tearing up, so, looking away, she splattered toothpaste on her toothbrush and shoved it in her mouth. She cried anyway.
In hindsight, Momo should have broken up with Kairi. That's not at all what happened, but she should have. Maybe it was because she still loved him or maybe it was because she had just lost whatever backbone she used to have, but Momo just let them drift apart. She then proceeded to try and resuscitate their relationship several times before Kairi thought they had “lost their spark.” He didn't say exactly that in so many words, but that's how she rationalized it in her head.
Spitting in the sink and tossing her toothbrush on the counter, Momo trudged back to her bed and collapsed onto it, unable to get back under the covers. Somehow, her post-Kairi wallowing thus far had been significantly worse than her post-Toji wallowing. She would go to class—most of the time, at least—but nothing she had heard would stick in her head long enough to be of any use to her. She was so tired of crying. She was so tired in general. Sniffling, Momo curled up into a ball on top of her sheets. Her lack of movement and emotional exhaustion slowly lulled her into a light if not heavy-hearted slumber.
Then there was a noise. A loud one. On most other occasions, the sudden, unknown noise would have at the very least startled Momo, but at that moment she couldn't make herself care. After another noise and with some effort, she sat up to try to identify its source. With even more effort, she came to the conclusion that it was just the door. Now slightly perturbed, Momo lay back down.
“Gawd, Momo!” a muffled voice called from outside. “Either let me in, or I’ll let myself in! And that's shorthand for ‘I brought my lock pick!’”
That voice wasn't particularly welcome in Momo’s ears. She didn’t move.
“Okay, okay, I was bluffing about the lock pick! Open the door!”
Momo shoved her head under her pillow and prayed that her (for lack of a better term) friend Sae would eventually lose interest in banging on her door.
“You remember how we have those GPS phone things, right? So I know that you're either home and ignoring me, or you've been kidnapped!”
Momo still didn't respond, and for a long while she was met with silence. That is, until Sae discovered the doorbell.
After the first shrill ring, Momo leaped out of bed and yanked the door open. Upon seeing Sae's half-startled gaze, Momo once again became conscious of her disheveled appearance.
“Wow,” Sae cooed. “You look terrible. Were you crying?”
“Why’re you here, Sae?” Momo asked, her voice rough from disuse.
“I come bearing gifts.” Sae lifted a plastic bag before slipping past Momo into the apartment. “Sorry for barging in, by the way! I'll set your cupcake on the table.”
Cupcake? Why was Sae bringing her cupcakes? She watched Sae lay a bag at her side and a large cupcake on the table and sit down beside it. As Momo lingered by the door, Sae beamed an inviting smile at her and patted the empty space on the floor. Eyeing her and cautiously sitting beside her, Momo inspected the cupcake and glanced back at Sae to gauge her reaction.
“It’s not going to hurt you, stupid,” Sae said, crossing her arms. “Look, I figured that you haven't been doing too hot after your whole… breakup thing, and I know better than anyone that breakups suck. And I thought since I would've wanted someone to bring me pastries after any of my breakups, I uh…”—Sae gestured to the cupcake—“I decided to do something nice.”
Momo furrowed her brow. “What do you want?”
“What do I…? I'm being nice!”
“Sure, but what's the catch?”
“There's not a catch! I've been nice to you a ton of times before! We're friends, remember?”
Shifting her gaze back towards the cupcake, Momo finally took all of it in: the white icing and sprinkles on top of the chocolate cake, the saccharine smell that wafted into her nostrils… It made her sick just thinking about it.
“Look, Sae…” Momo said, her nose crinkling. “I appreciate all this, but… I'm not hungry, and I just…. don't really trust you, you know?”
Sae pursed her lips and stared with Momo with a particular intensity as if analyzing her. “I see what this is. You're depressed, so you're pushing me away. Well, I’m not letting you go there; you can’t get rid of me that easily! When's the last time you've eaten?”
“Um…”
“Oh my god, Momo! Eat!”
Fearing that Sae would start shoving a cupcake down her throat, Momo worked through her onset-nausea and took a bite. The fluffy batter and sweet taste made Momo nostalgic, and the warmth in her chest from Sae's gesture coupled with the genuine enjoyment she got from the pastry almost brought her to tears. She held them back as best as she could as she took another bite before the floodgates burst open.
Momo wasn’t a particularly loud crier, but she still felt embarrassed as she slowly chewed the glob of cake in her mouth as tears ran down her face. She had almost completely forgotten Sae was there if not for the awkward pat on her head and taut “there, there” she gave her. Despite all the tears and snot streaked across her face, Momo couldn’t help but chuckle at Sae’s attempt to comfort her.
“What are you laughing at?” Sae asked in a tone anything but short of accusatory.
“Nothing, just…” Momo swallowed, feeling tears well up in her eyes again as she redirected them towards Sae. “Thank you for all of this.”
“Whatever, it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything.”
“You didn’t have to, though… So it just… means a lot.”
“Okay, okay, just don’t start crying again. I don’t know how to deal with that.”
Chuckling again, Momo played with the wrapper surrounding the cupcake in relative silence. She felt Sae fidget next to her.
“You know,” Sae started slowly, the smile inching across her face setting off alarms in Momo’s head, “I guess there is another reason that I’m here.”
“Oh, is there?” Momo said, not trying particularly hard to sound surprised.
“A little birdie told me that Kairi has a date this afternoon. So I was thinking that…”
Sae’s voice trailed off as Momo’s thoughts crowded her mind. A date? After only thirty-two days? How was he already dating someone? Sure, Kairi was always popular with girls in high school, but Momo didn’t think he’d bounce back so fast. Was she that boring? Was he just waiting for the chance that he could start dating people again?
“Was he cheating on me?” Momo thought aloud. “He had to have been, right? Like at the end of our relationship he was sort of distant and… And it’s only barely been a month… Oh, god, he was cheating on me!”
“Hey, hey, hey! Not to defend Kairi, but I doubt they’re planning on getting engaged or anything! Plus, a month’s not that insignificant, you know.”
“And who are you to be telling me that?” Momo’s voice rose in volume. “I was sad enough on my own, and you just waltz in here, telling me every detail of Kairi’s love life!”
“Whoa, chill out! I’m only saying any of this because I think I know what’ll cheer you up,” Sae rested a hand on each of Momo’s shoulders. “You see, I may or may not know where they’re going on this date, so I thought we could follow them and you can see for yourself whether or not this is a serious thing!”
“Follow…? What’s wrong with you?”
“It’ll be fun!”
“No way!” Momo jerked away from Sae. “That’s crazy! I’d rather die than start following my ex-boyfriend around on dates!”
***
Momo blindly meandered around near the entrance of the amusement park, disoriented by the sheer number of people shuffling around her. She grabbed onto the back of Sae’s shirt as she walked ahead of her, seemingly unfazed by the crowd. Momo’s heart resounded in her chest with every deafening beat as she peered across the clearing, wanting desperately to catch a glimpse of Kairi in the endless stream of people but dreading the very thought of it. Heat from the Sun pounded on Momo under her sunhat and long dark wig, and she adjusted the collar of her sweater as if doing so would cool her off.
How had Sae even convinced her to come here? The past couple of hours were a blur, but Momo guessed that she didn’t fight back that hard after the idea was proposed to her… And it’s not like she wasn’t curious…
“Jesus, it’s crowded,” Sae said, her hair pulled up into a hat and sunglasses obscuring her eyes but otherwise not very disguised.
“It’s hot,” Momo panted, in her head trying to decide whether or not to just sit on the ground. “How come I’m wearing all this crap and you’re just dressed normally?”
“Normally? Um, I’m wearing capris. I never wear pants,” Sae paused with a smirk pushing at the edges of her mouth, “But, if I’m being honest with you, I just gave you whatever I thought would look the most ridiculous on you.”
“Okay, well,” Momo immediately went to pull the wig off her head, the bangs of which stuck to her forehead with sweat, deterred only by Sae’s frantic grabbing of her wrist.
“Hey, hey, hey! Kairi’s way more likely to recognize you than he is me. Sure, I could’ve picked out more summer-friendly clothes for you, but you still need a disguise, you know!”
“I’m sure he’ll notice me once I start sweating through everything I’m wearing. Or if I get heat stroke.”
“Oh, cool it, drama queen. Will you stop complaining if I get you a drink?”
“Maybe.”
Still latched onto the back of her shirt, Momo shuffled after Sae as she made her way to the refreshment stand. She ordered Momo a cup of ice water after shooing her hand away.
“I woulda sprung for a soda,” Sae said, putting a hand on her hip, “but I’m not exactly overflowing with cash right now. Plus, I already paid for the tickets to get in.”
“Soda dehydrates you anyway,” Momo replied, taking a sip, the cold water stinging her teeth. “But it’s not like you’re paying rent at Kanji’s place.”
Rolling her eyes, Sae let out a bitter puff of air but said nothing in reply. Suddenly, she cocked her head to the side, staring past Momo and grinning. In the middle of another sip, Momo turned her head to look behind her to find Kairi with his arm wrapped around a girl. Snapping her head back around, dread bubbled from the pit of Momo’s stomach. She clutched her cup of water tight enough that it overflowed and spilled onto her hands.
“Need a napkin?” Sae asked in a mocking sing-song voice, already holding a napkin out in front of Momo’s face.
Loosening her grip on the cup, Momo stared at the small amount of water and ice still left in her drink. That girl wasn’t even that cute, Momo thought to herself. She was blonde like all the other girls Kairi’s into—except her roots were really dark—but that was about the extent of it. It’s not like she fit into Kairi’s usual type. Seeing her distorted reflection in the ice cubes, though, with her long black wig and heavy eyeliner, it struck Momo that she didn’t really fit into his type very well at the moment either.
Sae started to violently shake the napkin around in Momo’s face, the very edge of it hitting Momo’s nose repeatedly. Looking up from her drink, Momo bit the inside of her lip and snatched the napkin from Sae’s hand, dejectedly wiping her hands off.
“All right, space cadet,” Sae began, bumping Momo with her hip and almost completely knocking her off balance, “stop zoning out for twenty seconds. Here’s the plan: because you’re in disguise, Kairi won’t recognize you just by glancing at you. Since he knows you so well, though, if he sees you and hears you talking, he’s much more likely to tell that it’s you. So, you have a three word limit when he’s within earshot. Got it?”
“I guess…” Momo answered, a wistful sigh escaping her lips. Sae flicked her forehead.
“Get it together! We’re stalking your ex-boyfriend, so you need to be on your game, got it?”
Ignoring Momo’s grimace at the word “stalking,” Sae grabbed her wrist and dragged her in the opposite direction. After loudly drinking the rest of her water, desperate to cool down even a little, Momo tossed the empty container in the trash as they walked. Approaching the line—Momo didn’t know what for—she could see Kairi separated from them by only a handful of people. She swallowed hard, sweat gathering on her palms—more sweat than before, at least.
“This amusement park is way crappier than the old one,” Sae said.
Momo shrugged, preoccupied by watching Kairi laugh and make indistinct conversation.
“Whatever. Hope you like the tea cups, babe.”
“Babe?” Momo turned her head to face Sae.
“I gotta call you something,” Sae shifted her voice into a whisper and gestured discretely towards Kairi, “I can’t just call you Momo while Kairi’s right there.”
“So you pick babe?”
“It’s funny, okay? Also, that was four words.”
“Funny…” Momo repeated to herself quietly, stepping forward with the people in front of her.
Despite the number of people, it didn’t take too long to get into the ride. From where she and Sae were seated, Momo could clearly see Kairi and his mystery girl on the opposite end of the turntable. They looked like they were enjoying themselves. Maybe too much, even… Could it be an act, Momo wondered? Straining her hearing, she tried to catch even the smallest bit of their conversation to no avail. With a sigh, she grabbed the wheel in the middle of the teacup.
“I love amusement parks, you know,” Momo said, tapping her fingers and making a distinct clicking noise on the plastic. “I haven’t been to one since I was with Toji, though. I wonder why Kairi never brought me…”
“Who knows,” Sae said dismissively, taking her hat off and handing it to Momo. “Hold this.”
“Why…?”
Leaning forward, Sae clutched the wheel and spun it as the ride jolted and began to move. Momo, with Sae’s hat in one hand and holding onto her own with the other, braced herself for whatever cyclone Sae planned to pull her into. The sudden fear that Momo’s hat and wig would fly off her head if they went too fast consumed her. What if Kairi saw and found out she was following him? What if her wig hit Kairi in the face and that’s how he found out? Momo stared at Sae wide-eyed, trying to beg her through telepathy to not do what she was thinking of doing. The teacup spun once, twice, three times, and as Momo’s anxiety ramped up, the spinning suddenly stopped.
“There, did that get the juices flowing?” Sae asked with a self-assured smile, taking her hat back from Momo and putting it on as she leaned backwards against her seat. “We’re still here to observe, but I wanted to kick your ass into gear is all.”
Momo felt the wig on her head, all at once becoming conscious of the fact that it’d take a little more for it to just fly off. She shot a vague smile at Sae, grabbing onto the wheel tightly and spinning it with all her strength. Clearly surprised, Sae squealed and clutched onto the wheel, hunching over to keep herself steady. Momo’s sunhat flapped in her face, though, threatening to depart from its place on her head at any moment, but the grin plastered on Sae’s face convinced her to keep turning at the potential expense of her disguise. The cool wind rushing past them as they spun felt good, anyhow.
The ride ended too soon. As it came to a halt, the hot, heavy air once again rested on Momo’s over-clothed shoulders. On the other side of the cart, Sae laughed as she tried to stand up and laughed even harder as she fell over. Only noticing as she watched Sae stumble around that she already had a smile on her face, something foreign to her during the past month or so, Momo giggled and helped her up.
Sae’s hands, as they rested in Momo’s palms, felt comfortably cool to the touch. Coming simultaneously to the realization that Momo must’ve been holding onto Sae’s hands for too long, she and Sae exchanged awkward eye contact before Momo let go and they once again tried to tail Kairi.
***
The heat died down as the day went on, the sun setting in the sky and the air becoming an inviting cool breeze. Frankly, running around the park all day wore Momo out, and the high-heeled boots Sae made her wear didn’t help. Kairi and that girl were still going strong, though. In a casual gait, Sae and Momo followed them to the carousel. It had lightbulbs strung around it, and Momo wished she could see what it looked like after dark, all lit up. But the sunlight bouncing off the golden columns and painted horses was a spectacle of its own.
Sae hesitated before they stepped in line, although Momo didn’t realize that she had until she couldn’t hear Sae’s footsteps behind her. She turned to see Sae standing completely still and staring up at the ride, expressionless and balling and un-balling her hands into fists.
“What’s wrong?” Momo asked, knowing her tone came off more impatient than she meant to.
Sae shook her head. “Maybe you should go on alone, and I’ll wait down here,” her voice was quiet. “That way I can get a better view of them while you can listen in on their conversation.”
“Huh?” Momo raised an eyebrow. “How will that help? You’re better at eavesdropping than I am, anyway.”
Something flashed across Sae’s face, something that Momo would’ve missed if she had blinked, and even the brief glimpse she got wasn’t enough to identify the expression. Grabbing the outside of Momo’s hand, Sae walked into the line and made her way up the platform. Momo could hear Kairi a couple horses away, saying something about racing. Hearing his voice take on that playful tone made her heart ache. She would often think about how much she missed him, but only now, seeing him act with someone else like he used to act around her, made her understand how much she did.
Sae sat on the plastic horse, holding onto the gold rail with both hands. Her eyes seemed almost unfocused as they stared in front of her. Momo sat right behind her on the edge of the saddle. She slung both her legs on one side and held onto Sae’s waist, leaning on her back just slightly. She felt Sae turn her head to look at her and mutter something to herself, hidden by the muffled music playing over the speakers.
“What?” Momo said, tilting her head.
“Huh?” Sae said in reply. She shifted uncomfortably, looking back towards Kairi’s general direction. “Nothing.”
“I heard you say something.”
“I’m used to doing this sort of stuff on my own is all.”
“So you just talk to yourself?”
Sae didn’t respond.
The ride started to move slowly, less jarringly than the others they had ridden previously. Careful movement forward and easy swaying up and down made Momo nearly forget about Kairi if not for his voice in the distance. She wished that she could forget him; that his voice would fade into the background and disappear behind the cheerful music of the ride. She hugged Sae’s waist, resting her head against her shoulder and closing her eyes. Despite them being out all day, Sae still smelled nice—familiar even. Momo was, against all odds, comfortable on top of that plastic horse, and much more comfortable there than she had been at her own home for over a month.
When she opened her eyes, the ride was over. Sae sat hunched over; still gripping onto the railing so tightly that Momo feared she’d puncture holes into it. Momo blinked sleepily and laughed a little.
“I guess I drifted off!” She yawned, leaning over to try to see Sae’s face. Sae hunched over more.
“I’m so sorry this is so boring for you,” Sae replied, her voice just barely quivering.
“Sorry…”
Momo let go of Sae and hopped off, Sae following in suit and still turning her face away from Momo at every possible moment. She trudged on, making a bee-line assumingly towards wherever Kairi headed next.
“Are you mad?” Momo asked, jogging after Sae. “I know that you didn't want to go on the carousel, and then I just sorta passed out on you…”
She didn't speak to Momo until they hit the next line. Even as they walked forward with each new group going into the ride, Sae stayed uncharacteristically quiet, deep in thought with hand attached to her chin. At least her facial expression read less as totally pissed off and more as mildly annoyed. Momo rubbed her arm, wishing Sae would at least tell her why she was so upset. Maybe it was just that she too self-involved to realize what she did, Momo thought to herself.
It wasn’t long before Momo’s attention diverted elsewhere. There must've been at least three couples separating Momo from Kairi and that girl. Momo couldn't even see between them because of all the people attached at the hip, one step away from making out right in the middle of the park. Even if the sound of the ride didn't drown out every sound in her general vicinity, Momo still wouldn't be able to hear Kairi and his floozy over the sweet nothings these people were whispering in each other's ears. Sure, it wasn't fair of Momo to label the girl Kairi strung along as a floozy without knowing her at all… And she was sure that jealous ex-girlfriend wasn't a very good look on her…
Now bitter and feeling slightly guilty, Momo got in the bumper car behind Sae and leaned against the side. She didn't mean to mope, but she figured moping was her right as the recently-single one.
The car began to move, surprisingly unsteady. For the most part, Sae avoided the other cars, driving around in circles. She'd glance back at Momo periodically before turning to face the front again. In response to an admittedly melodramatic sigh from Momo, she turned her whole body around.
“Hey, babe,” she said. “You might wanna hold on.”
Before Momo could ask any questions, the car jolted forward, barreling directly into Kairi’s. His car shook with the impact, and the girl sitting in back let out a yelp. Sae spun around and smacked into his car again with full force.
“Watch it!” Kairi yelled.
“Watch this!” Sae yelled back, flipping Kairi off and sticking her tongue out before driving off.
Momo couldn't help but laugh, harmonizing with Sae’s cackles that only made her laugh harder. From the look on Kairi's face that she caught a glimpse of, though, with his shift from inquisitive to intense irritation, he clearly recognized Sae.
He drove his cart directly into the side of theirs, a shockwave of force echoing throughout it. In the back of his cart, the girl Kairi was with seemed to scold him with indistinct words. Despite her talking, he made direct eye contact with Momo for a fleeting moment that passed by all too slowly. Panic gripped Momo’s windpipe as she quickly turned her head. The look he gave her… He had to have known.
The ride came to a stop and the cars slid to a halt. Sae slammed her hand on the steering wheel.
“Dammit!” She exclaimed. “I wanted to hit that dumb bastard one more time!”
The squeezing in Momo’s throat prevented her from saying anything. She sat frozen in the car, afraid to look back at Kairi. As Sae stepped out of the car, Momo hopped out and quickly walked away, refusing to look behind her. Sae called out after her, running to catch up and grabbing her arm.
“Where are you going?” She asked. “You can’t just run off when we’re in the middle of—.”
“Hey, Sae!” a voice called from behind them. Momo didn’t turn around.
“Oh, shit,” Sae said under her breath. “Shit, shit, shit.”
“Sae!” Kairi said again, his voice closer now. Momo finally moved to face him, attempting to avoid his direct line of sight. “I’m going to assume that bumping into you here isn’t a coincidence.”
“It is, actually!” Sae replied with a smile. “Really funny what life throws at you, huh? See ya!”
“No, hold on. Let’s settle this! Um… Okay,” Kairi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Where would you two like to start this conversation?”
“The part where you leave us the hell alone.”
“All right, I just realized I have a pretty good starting point in mind. Uh, let’s see… Momo? Hey. Where do you get off following me around on a date over a month after we broke up?”
Her fingers fidgeting by her side, Momo looked at the ground, “I… I didn’t know you were on a date…”
“Right, right, so you’re all up in disguise just for funsies?” Kairi asked with a bitter laugh. “You know, it took me until about the time Sae started trying to kill me with a bumper car that I realized I had seen you… all over the park. Every single place that I went. I mean, you don’t exactly blend in with that get-up.”
Momo, between shooting an irritated glare at Sae, hunched over and felt the dread fill her chest cavity and heat spread all over her face. Even if she could somehow get any words out, she’d have nothing to say.
“This is sad, you know? The fact you’re slumming around with Sae, pulling dumb bullshit like this. And I’m sure you didn’t really think to yourself, ‘Hey, if Kairi finds out about this, it’ll probably ruin his date! It’ll probably really upset him!’ did you? I mean, of course you didn’t! The only person you really have time to care about is you, right?.”
“Wow,” Sae scoffed, “That? Coming from you? Sorry, Kairi, but where do you get off accusing Momo of all people, arguably the most annoyingly selfless person ever, of being a narcissists when you are genuinely one of the biggest narcissists I’ve ever met in my entire life? And I think I know a thing or two about narcissists.”
Gazing Sae and seeing the clenched fists at her side, Momo’s chest tightened. Sae defending her? To Kairi? With how ridiculous the situation was, Momo had to pinch her cheek just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She really didn’t have to stick up for Momo, especially when everything Kairi was saying was true, but there she was...
“This has nothing to do with you!” Kairi yelled at Sae, stomping his foot and bringing Momo crashing back to reality.
“Nothing to do with me? This has everything to do with me! Do you really think Momo came up with this idea all on her own? Please! I forced her to come here with me because I thought it’d be funny to see her get upset because you were so much happier without her! But, hey, this is all a slight towards you, right? Just like everything!”
“Oh, it’s your idea, then?”
“Yeah, it is! Get off your god damn high horse pretending like you never did anything wrong in your relationship with her, and—.”
Without hesitation, Kairi stepped forward and slapped Sae across the face, sending her stumbling backwards into Momo. Catching her and holding her steady, Momo could feel her tremble. She held her cheek, suddenly appearing much smaller than before.
In response, Momo lunged forward and decked Kairi in the jaw, knocking him off his feet. He hit the ground with an unceremonious thud, garnering whispers from the few bystanders gathered around them. Momo, standing over Kairi, watched as he grimaced and felt the side of his face, rubbing the spot in circles that Momo’s fist had made contact with.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she screamed at him.
A confused stare washed over Kairi’s face before he looked up at Momo. The betrayal and anger in his eyes may have made her felt some sort of remorse for him even just an hour ago, but in that instant something inside of Momo prevented her from experiencing any strong emotion about Kairi’s current state at all.
“Hey,” Kairi said, shakily getting up, “I could be asking you the same question, really,” He dusted off his pants and shook his head. With a sigh, he turned around called behind him with a passive wave, “Hope I don’t see you around campus!”
“I hope you don’t either!” Momo yelled after him, cupping her hands around her mouth. “For your sake!”
As he walked away, Momo saw Kairi’s girlfriend standing, obviously distressed, to the side. She shot Momo an apologetic look as Kairi wrapped an arm around her shoulder. At least, it felt like she did. Resting a hand on her back, Momo turned back to Sae.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I’m fine,” Sae bluntly replied, shaking Momo’s hand off. “I guess we better head home now.”
“Wait,” Momo interrupted, glancing up at the sunset-streaked sky. “Can we go on the ferris wheel before we leave?”
Sae frowned in annoyance, looking at the ferris wheel not far in the distance before shooting Momo a less-than-enthusiastic glance. “I sort of hate the ferris wheel.”
“Oh,” Momo said, trying not to sound too upset, though she doubted she did very well at doing so. She thought, at the very least, that the ferris wheel could maybe cheer Sae up, but… Giving the ferris wheel one last longing glance, Momo turned and began to walk slowly towards the park gates.
“Ugh, wait!” Sae called, a twinge of exhaustion in her voice. “Since you’re being such a baby about it… Let’s just go on the stupid ferris wheel…”
Face instantaneously lighting up, Momo grabbed Sae’s hand and ran towards the line, Sae dragging her feet behind her. Momo hopped up and down in place, unable to contain her excitement and almost forgetting about her exchange with Kairi.
“I love the ferris wheel!” she squealed, throwing her arms in the air. “It’s my favorite! And it’s so pretty during the sunset! You can see everything from up there! This one’s smaller than the one at the old amusement park, but it still looks like it’ll have a nice view!”
As her eyes fell to Sae, Momo noticed her staring. She quickly averted her gaze, squeezing Momo’s hand tighter. Examining her, Momo could see the faint mark of Kairi’s hand on her cheek. Overwhelming guilt manifesting as nausea for getting her hurt washed over her, wishing she had done something instead of just letting Sae take the fall for her.
The line felt longer and slower than the others throughout the course of the day, to Momo’s dismay, and the weird energy between her and Sae didn’t help. She’d alternate looking up at the ferris wheel to back at Sae, hoping something would come along to break the tension. Eventually growing tired of waiting, Momo decided to try to take the task into her own hands.
“Hey,” Momo began, “this is a weird question, but do I smell like sweat or anything? I feel like all I’ve been doing all day is sweating straight through these clothes, you know?”
Sae raised her eyebrows for a moment, leaned in, and sniffed Momo. She shrugged.
“You just smell like regular ol’ Momo to me,” she said.
“Was that a compliment or an insult?”
Sae shrugged again. “Up to your interpretation.”
No shorter than twenty minutes later they finally got onto the ride. The cart was significantly smaller than the one she had Toji had gone on, still completely enclosed with a bench on either side, but much shorter and much thinner. Momo sat down, and instead of sitting across from her like a normal person, Sae sat beside her. The door closed and the ride shuddered to a start, tilting back and forth as they ascended. No one said anything for a while.
Light streamed through the window of the cart, the orange light accenting the side of Sae’s face. She stared in front of her, looking at nothing that Momo could tell. Momo took her hat and wig off, then laid them on her lap ran her hands through her hair, the sweet relief of freedom from her hairy prison rushing over her. Her relief, though, was quickly depleted with the awkward tension hanging heavily in the air.
“You know,” Momo said with a slight laugh, trying to break the tension once again, “these things feel like they move way faster when you’re getting broken up with.”
“Yeah, you don’t have to tell me,” Sae replied, resting her arm against the railing and looking out the window.
Knitting her brow, Momo turned to Sae. “So, uh... Why don’t you like ferris wheels?”
Momo watched as Sae took a deep breath and leaned back in her seat and then turned to face her. “It’s really not a big deal. It’s stupid that I’m even still upset about it. I mean, it was in high school.”
“I’m still a little upset that Toji broke up with me on a ferris wheel, so…”
Sae hesitated for a moment and gulped. “So, like, the last time I was on one of these things,” Sae patted the side of the cart, “I was with Ryo. And, I mean, it was a fine day—a comparatively good day, even! So, um, anyway, we get on the ferris wheel and he’s like, ‘Sae, I want you to get an abortion. Now hear me out: it’s because I don’t want anything to do with you. So take these illegal abortion pills, and never speak to me again.’ Again. Not a big deal. I’m over it, mostly. I don’t know why I’m all weird about it right now.”
Blinking several times, Momo tried to absorb the information Sae just threw at her. She reached over gently and held Sae’s hand in her own.
“That’s terrible, Sae… You didn’t deserve that…”
“Well, I don’t know about that…”
“You didn’t. No one deserves that.”
Sae bit her lip and focused her eyes downward, her eyebrows furrowing. It took Momo a moment to think of what to say, not wanting to force Sae to say anything else.
“Listen,” Momo said softly, brushing her thumb against the back of Sae’s hand, “the second time I went on the ferris wheel with Toji, he said he wanted to replace the bad memories we had there with good ones. So… So maybe I can help you do the same here. If you can forget about the whole… Being slapped in public thing…”
When Sae looked back at Momo, tears had gathered around the edges of her eyes. Her nose crinkled as if to hold the tears in, but with each blink they’d fall, illuminated by the light of the sunset. She leaned forward, falling into Momo with a hug and burying her face in her shoulder.
“Momo…” Sae said, sniffling and sitting up to look Momo in the eye, “You know… You’re a… a really special person. And I know that sounds stupid, but… But you saw something in me that… no one else saw—not even my parents!—and I know that… that I wouldn’t be a good person without you. And I guess… I’m not a good person yet, but… but I want to be…! And if Kairi can’t see that—how special of a person you are, I mean—then… then you don’t need him! He’ll just hold you back! You’re too good for him, anyway…! I always thought that…”
Warmth ignited through Momo’s chest, spreading to her face and putting pressure behind her eyes. Seeing Sae vulnerable only made it even harder to hold back her tears, so it didn’t take long for her to stop trying all together. She embraced Sae deeply, feeling her tears fall onto her shoulder as she did so.
“I feel so stupid, you know…” Momo said through tears, “I mean, seeing Kairi like that when I’m not dating him… He’s an asshole, right?”
“Oh, yeah, definitely,” Sae replied.
“I can’t believe I didn’t see it… I mean, I… I’m sure he acted like that while we were dating…”
“He absolutely did.”
“I’m just… Dumb. Not being able to realize that.”
“You’re not dumb, you just… you see the good in people, you know? I mean… I wish I was better at that…”
Momo paused for a moment before laughing weakly. “How come I always start crying on ferris wheels?” she asked.
“Well, maybe it’s because you’re a pussy,” Sae replied, Momo able to hear her smiling despite not being able to see her face
“Oh, shut up.”
Momo pushed Sae playfully as they separated. Sae laughed, rubbing her eye as she stared at her feet. Using the sleeve of her sweater, Momo wiped the tears and makeup streaking down her own face before she leaned against Sae’s shoulder.
“I had a lot of fun today, the fight part notwithstanding,” she said with a sigh. “It was the most fun I’ve had on a date in a long time… Even since before Kairi and I broke up.”
“It… it wasn’t really a date,” Sae said with a bashful smile, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Maybe not…” Momo paused. “I miss him, still. Even if he’s an asshole.”
“I guess I don’t blame you… despite your questionable taste.”
Silence filled the cart again, but comfortably this time. Sitting next to Sae, Momo felt perfectly content. She felt Sae walk her fingers over to her hand, taking hold of it and intertwining their fingers.
“And, you know,” Sae said, her voice steady again, “if Kairi gets caught up in how quote-unquote selfish you are and can't see how cute you are when you get excited about just going on the ferris wheel, then he doesn’t know what he’s missing. Okayastupid is right.”
Momo giggled, feeling her face heat up and something flutter in her chest. Glancing out the window portrayed the view from the top of the ferris wheel: the people below tiny and moving about like sand on the beach, pushed around by the waves crashing on shore. The tops of the buildings in the distance glowed with unearthly yellow lights as the sun reflected off of them.
“And,” Sae continued, drawing Momo’s eyes back to her, “how you’re just a little hard-headed. And how you always style your hair differently every day. And how sometimes you get so lost in your thoughts that you—.”
Leaning over, Momo pressed her lips against Sae’s and cut her off mid-thought. Sae leaned in, holding onto Momo’s arms for a moment before pulling away.
“You whore!” she yelled, her face bright red. “You can’t just interrupt me like that!”
“I’m sorry!” Momo said, smiling nervously. “You’re so cute, and—.”
Cutting Momo off, Sae kissed her, pushing Momo back against the side of the cart and wrapping her arms around her neck.
“There. How’s it feel?”
“I’ve had better.”
Sae pushed her away, her eyebrows downturned but a smile stretched across her face. “You’re such a bitch!”
“Wow, that means a lot coming from you.”
“Hey, takes one to know one! But, I guess lucky for you,” Sae tapped Momo’s nose, “I’ve always had a thing for bad boys.”
“Are you saying you have a thing for me, then?”
“I… Well… maybe… I think…” Sae bit her thumbnail in thought. “I think that… maybe I like you. Maybe.”
“Well,” Momo started to say, her expression softening, “good. ‘Cause I think that maybe I like you, too.”