Work Text:
Why do the days feel like they’re getting longer and longer? I guess betrayal can make a person feel that way. Being the betrayer is a heavy burden to bear. I miss home, the home we were building. But I don’t belong there anymore.
See, it wasn’t too long ago I thought it was all coming together. I felt like I was doing good, helping like I was meant to. Found my footing in this new world. I could see beyond all I had lost. I could see what I had gained. Tony was on that list–maybe even at the top.
We fought side-by-side, I admired him, and we were friends. There were times when I looked at him, and he was looking at me with his brown eyes that could see too much, and it felt like there was something more there. Just below the surface, waiting for one of us to be brave enough, to dig a little deeper.
But life has a way of making sure you regret the things you never got around to.
I did what I had to do. I couldn’t let anything happen to Bucky. I broke Tony’s heart.
And my own in the process.
Now I can’t stop seeing his face. How much pain he was in. Tony doesn’t deserve all the hurt he carries around, and I hate being responsible for adding more to it. I don’t know how to fix it, but hopefully this letter will help explain. It can be a starting point for mending the tear between us.
Things used to be easy. Right was right, wrong was wrong. I operated in black and white, but now I can see the world’s too complicated for that way of thinking. I know Tony understands that. I hope he can forgive me one day.
I hope…