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Mulder hates the mall. He hates every little thing about it. Most of all he hates all these people. Mulder in a mall without Scully? Even worse. He pushes William’s stroller through the Saturday crowds and wishes they were anywhere else. It was his idea to come here today, of course. Scully told him. No, she warned him. She reminded him about the crowds, about the long lines everywhere and what did Mulder do? Gave her a kiss and told her not to worry. What an idiot he is. After all this time he should know that Scully is always right. Or at least 98 times out of a 100.
There’s a family in front of them, slow and loud. Mulder is done. He steers the stroller around and enters the shop closest to them. It’s a dress shop. William leans out of his stroller and grabs a squeaky yellow dress. He giggles.
“That’s not really our style, is it?”
“Fox? Fox Mulder?” That voice. He would know it anywhere. If he were on his deathbed and she’d say his name, he’d know. Of all place, of all people. He turns around and hopes to be wrong. He isn’t.
“Phoebe.” At least the surprise in his voice is real. The smile on his face, though, is most definitely not. She stops right in front of him, two dresses over her arm. She looks older, but she’s still the same Phoebe he’s met in Oxford. Right down to the hair color and hair cut. Neither of them is sure how to do this. A hug? A handshake? An awkward glance and nod seems to be the only greeting they can handle.
“I can’t believe it’s you! I was hoping I might run into you while I’m in the States, but to meet you here.” Mulder has never seen her this bubbly. Not once.
“What are you doing here, Phoebe?” The question comes out interrogative and not at all like he intended it.
“Oh, you know.” She makes a hand gestures and touches the dresses that hang over her arm. They look expensive to his untrained eyes. “Just visiting."
"Daddy?” He’s almost forgotten about William. He immediately crouches down to his son who points up at Phoebe. “Who dis?”
“She’s an old friend. Her name is Phoebe.” William is fussy, wants out of the stroller. Mulder takes him into his arms. The boy hides his face in his neck.
“He’s a bit shy.” Mulder explains and is not prepared for Phoebe’s face. He hasn’t seen her in years, a whole decade. But her face hasn’t changed. Sure there are lines, wrinkles. But that expression is one he knows. Even without the tears that begin to gather in her eyes, he can tell that she’s sad. And his only thought right here, right now is: fuck.
“I didn’t know you had children.” Phoebe’s voice is surprisingly soft. She reaches out her hand and offers it to William. She’s never been good around children, has never cared much about them. His son stares at it, but he’s smart and he’s seen him and Scully do it countless times. With a little giggle he takes her hand and shakes it. Mulder, feeling proud, can’t help but smile.
“It’s just William. We- it’s just him for now.” He’s not going to discuss the miracle that is his son or his and Scully’s struggles with infertility. Not here, not now, not ever.
“You and his mother…” She trails off. Mulder gives a short laugh that sounds as if someone was strangling him. It makes William look at him and touch his cheek. Just like his mother, his son, even at two years old, worries about him a lot.
“Daddy okay?” He asks. Mulder turns to him and nods.
“Daddy is fine, buddy. No need to worry,” he directs his eyes back at Phoebe, who now clings to the dresses in her arms; he was wrong before. She has changed. Her eyes are wet, though she refuses to cry in front of him, a virtual stranger after all this time. Her face is ashen, pale. He should ask her what’s wrong, but he can’t. Part of him doesn’t want to know. Phoebe Green is a part of his past that has no place in his present or future.
“Will’s mom is at home. It’s just us boys today.”
“So you’re not…”
“Mommy present.” Will chimes in. Mulder makes a mental note to tell Scully later that even their son is not a Phoebe Green fan. He knows she’ll love that.
“Will’s right. We’re looking for a present for his mom. My wife. Scully. You know her. Dana Scully.”
“Doesn’t ring a bell.” That’s the Phoebe he recognizes. Her lips are a small line and he wonders if she thought, really, honestly entertained the thought that she could fly here, find him and start a new life. With him.
“We investigated a case together the last time you were here. She’s my partner.” In every sense of the word now.
“You’re not wearing a wedding ring.” William sighs against his neck. Mulder knows his son is just bored, so is he, but it’s the perfect response to Phoebe’s remark. He gently strokes his son’s back, who sighs deeply before he relaxes again.
“We’re not really traditional. Phoebe, listen, I-”
“I just got divorced.” She says. Mulder stares at her, uncertain how to react. What does one say to a statement like that?
“I’m sorry?” He doesn’t mean for it to sound like a question. But it doesn’t matter. He figures he won’t see Phoebe again. He hopes he won’t.
“Found someone else,” Phoebe goes on and she gives him a long hard look that makes Mulder want to disappear and as soon as possible, “He said she’s the love of his life. Ha!” William startles and glances at Phoebe.
“Daddy?” He whispers hotly against his jaw. “Peebee okay?” Mulder can’t help it: he starts laughing. Phoebe narrows her eyes, regards him with fiery eyes. He can’t even tell her that he’s not laughing at her. He’s gasping for air, unable to say a single word. William joins in with this sweet baby laughter and then Mulder is completely gone. Tears stream down his face and several people turn to look at them.
“Well,” Phoebe says, straightening her back, “I guess this is it then. It was nice to see you again, Fox.” Mulder calms down, but the laughter continues to tickle his throat and chest. William is still chuckling into his shoulder, his whole body vibrating against him.
“Yes,” Mulder says and this time offers his hand. He must look like an idiot, his face red and tear streaked, “Take care, Phoebe. I really am sorry about your divorce. I, uhm, maybe…” Mulder stops himself, but then her eyes are so hopeful and he really is an idiot (Scully will tell him so later, he just knows it), “maybe we can have dinner while you’re here."
"That’s a wonderful idea, Fox.” She stares at him, waits. She wants his number. He hoists William up and balances him on his hip as he searches for his wallet. He takes one of his cards out with his teeth and Phoebe’s eyes never leave him. She takes the card and looks at it as if it were a winning lottery ticket. “I’ll see you soon. We can really talk then. I can’t wait. Bring your wife, too!” She walks off, finally, and Mulder just stands there, dumbfounded.
“Daddy home?”
“Yeah, let’s just go home,” he puts the boy back in the stroller, “maybe I’ll get mommy and us a nice vacation far away from here.” William squeals in delight and Mulder thinks it might be the best idea he’s had today.