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It isn't lying, not really. He wouldn't lie to Mercedes. She's his best friend, a few ups and downs and boys this past year aside, and Kurt's pretty sure he's actually hard-wired to tell her the truth. But she's been so worried ever since the transfer and Kurt doesn't want to add yet more stress on top of that. There's a little guilt present every time they Skype and he hates that, hates that she thinks this is her fault. It's not hers, it's theirs, it's Karofsky's and the damned school board's.
(A small part of him mutters that it's Kurt's as well, but he squashes it and refuses to think that way. He has a niggling feeling this is the kind of thing Blaine was talking about when he spoke about running away and Kurt doesn't think he wants to go there.)
So if he doesn't mention that for all the high fives and smiles he gets his only real friend is Blaine, it's not a lie. It's just an omission of something unimportant. He came halfway through the year, of course everyone's all in their niches already. It just takes time. And the fact that he still feels out of place at the Warblers is ridiculous and not worth pointing out. She already knows how he felt at New Directions, under appreciated and restricted, he doesn't need to whine about it here as well. It's nothing new and besides, polite refusal is better than he'd ever really expected back at McKinley, right?
It'll be fine. By the time she ever needs to know he'll have settled in, he's sure.
2. Burt.
All right, this one is lying. But they're just little white lies, and at any rate, Kurt's never been above lying to his Dad for his own good. His sexuality, phonecalls, the fact he's not actually that social at Dalton- it's all the same. It's fine.
His Dad really doesn't need the worry. All he needs to know is that Kurt's not being beaten up, not having to suffer winks in the cafeteria, not holding his breath every time he walks down the hall.
Those are the things he transferred to get away from. His Dad didn't give up his honeymoon for friends or gossiping or common ground for conversation, he gave it up to avoid the possibility of walking into a hospital room that his son was staying in.
It doesn't matter, he tells himself. It doesn't matter.
3. Finn.
With Finn, he wants to prove a point, he has to admit. Kurt knows that turning down the offer of protection hurt his stepbrother in a way Finn can't quite articulate. And Kurt appreciates it, he does, that offer nearly broke him.
So he has to make Finn believe that what Dalton offers is just better for everyone. Has to make Finn realise it's not that Finn isn't enough, it's just that Dalton is... less responsibility.
Nobody is at risk this way. There won't be fights in the parking lot. Finn and Sam and Puck won't sport black eyes. He won't have to hope nobody gets it into their head to teach any of the girls a lesson.
Finn knows how much Kurt loves music, obviously. So maybe Kurt makes Dalton seem a little better at catering to his wishes than it is. Maybe he mentions a few solos he hasn't really got, or perhaps he acts like acapella was a love of his all along that New Directions just never tackled. In reality he finds it a hard way to sing- it's all a little 'cog in the machine', and god, what he'd give for some costumes- but he can pretend, for a while.
(Because it's not just Finn who needs persuading he's fulfilled. Kurt needs that too.)
4. Will.
With Mr. Schue it is definitely proving a point.
He sees the way his old teacher looks at him at Sectionals. It's a little condescending, almost, and it infuriates Kurt. He knows that look- 'so they didn't give you a solo?'- and given his past treatment at New Directions it makes him want to scream.
So maybe he makes a few more friendly back-slaps (and it pains him, because god, what a teenage boy affectation) than he normally would. Perhaps he's a bit more familiar with the few people he talks to on any kind of regular basis than the situation really deserves. Nobody complains, they're through to regionals and that warrants celebration after all, regardless of friendship groups.
He sees the way Mr. Schue does a double take at that when he glances over again, sees the embarrassment flash in his face. It feels good.
It feels like even if he can't truly be a part of this place, at least he can seem to be enough to get by- like people just assume he deserves it. Maybe that's enough for now.
5. Blaine.
He knows by now that Blaine needs this. Needs to feel that the world isn't out to get him, needs that acceptance. He needs to know there's nothing 'wrong' with him.
And Kurt needs Blaine. He's scared that if he starts pointing out that actually, it's not Blaine being accepted, it's some kind of projection Blaine is clinging to (the one that likes top 40 and not Patti LuPone, the one that never brings up prop 8 because gay is fine but do you have to be so obvious, guys?) and maybe he should rethink that...
He's scared he'll lose Blaine.
Kurt will bring it up eventually. When the time is right.
Really.
+1. Rachel.
On his first visit home since he moved to Dalton Rachel is waiting for him in the front room. Kurt knows what happened between her and Finn, so he wonders how the hell she even got in, but then he wonders if his Dad knows- maybe he just assumed they'd gotten back together when she showed up?
Anyway, not the point. The point is that weird pseudo-friendship aside, Rachel is looking like she's on a mission, and Rachel on a mission is never pleasant.
And she knows, he realises with a jolt when she looks at him.
She knows how he's never actually mentioned anyone but Blaine by name. How he never mentions going out, or screwing around on site with anyone. All the things he's not mentioned, that he's carefully hidden and deflected- and he suddenly realises-
He'd had a different story for everyone.
The sneaky... she must have asked everyone what he'd been saying and added it all up.
It's weirdly flattering that she cares that much.
But Rachel doesn't look at him with pity, she doesn't tell him anything that sounds like it's from a Hallmark card or ask to sing some ridiculous ballad.
Come to think of it, Rachel didn't have all that many friends in Glee club. She'd had Finn, but outside of Glee, how many of them had really talked to her? Maybe she got a few greetings in the hall, yeah. But now he knows from experience that doesn't count for as much as he'd like.
Kurt sits down heavily. She follows suit, looks over expectantly, and he swallows hard.
He starts to talk.
She nods in all the right places, and he wonders if she really needs any explanation at all. But it's nice to finally give one, so he doesn't stop.