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It handles like a dream.
Literally.
Sonny’s dreamed about this a lot.
The context of the dream has changed a bit. The color of the paint, anywhere from deepest black to sparkling silver. Roads, from the pristine glisten of snow to the brightest sunshine. The company. He’s driven these dream roads with everyone from Dana Scully to Fox Mulder to Rob Lowe to Sarah Michelle Gellar. A few times with people he actually knew but mostly this particular scenario was reserved for the wildest dreams - like making out with Buffy the vampire slayer in the back seat of a convertible under the stars.
None of those dreams even came close to reality.
This car was painted sinfully, the epitome of the guilty pleasure. A hedonistic devil red that gleamed in the sunlight and sported white racing stripes. It takes him until they’re out of the city to learn how the car moves but then it feels second nature. It’s been a few years since he’s driven a standard - at least fifteen, since his dad sold that old Corvette to a high schooler down the block - but muscle memory serves him well, settling back into the forefront of his mind without much effort.
And as much as he still loved Buffy, she couldn’t hold a stake to Rafael Barba in well worn jeans fitted low on his hips and a clean white button up. His hair mussed in the wind from the open windows, aviators glinting in the sunlight. Every time he looked over to the passenger’s side something kicked in his chest, knocked against his ribs, caught his breath. It wasn’t an image he’d ever hoped to have at all, much less a year after a particularly nasty breakup.
A breakup that was temporary, it seemed, as Sonny reversed the borrowed Mustang out of his parent’s driveway and headed down their street.
Lunch went as smoothly as it always does, which is to say that a lot of yelling was normal and the food was way better than normal. If anyone was curious about Rafael’s sudden reappearance they didn’t say, even if Bella looked smug and his niece reached for Rafael immediately upon seeing him. Sonny did his best to brace himself against the sight of it, even if Rafael was stiff picking up the toddler and looked mildly uncomfortable as he carried Izzy around. It was all familiar, all painfully dear to him. It was all something he’d made peace with never having again as Rafael’s goodbye settled into his bones and he acquainted himself with the idea of a life without him.
That was over a year ago, nowhere near forgotten but firmly in the rearview mirror as he drives them from his parent’s neighborhood and onto a different road from the one they’d arrived by, one scattered with vivid fall leaves and blessedly free of other cars.
“Where are we going?” Rafael asks, looking over at him in confusion. His face is still a little flushed with the wine he’d had at lunch and he was the most relaxed Sonny has seen him in a long time.
“It’s a surprise,” he says and Rafael only shakes his head, even if Sonny can see a smile threatening to form.
It takes close to an hour but Sonny drives them through the countryside, the sides of the road flanked by old trees splashed in red and green and gold whose leaves fluttered to the ground as they sped by. He winds through the woods, passes over an old stone bridge and revels in the gleaming red paint reflecting off the river underneath them. They get close to the lake a few times before the road narrows and turns slowly from asphalt to gravel, a handful of hairpin turns forcing Sonny to slow. Finally he turns the last corner and the scenic overlook opens up in front of them.
“Wow,” Rafael murmurs under his breath as Sonny pulls up to the edge and parks.
The sun is hanging low in the sky as evening approaches and shines gold over the forest below them. The view is killer anytime, but it’s particularly good in the fall. Now, as October comes into full swing, it looks like something out of a travel magazine. Sonny has come up here more times than he can remember now, first with his family and then with girlfriends in the hopes of impressing them.
“Yeah,” Sonny agrees and kills the engine, pocketing the keys. “Come on. Let’s enjoy it outside of the car for a little while.”
Rafael follows Sonny’s lead - maybe for the first time ever - and climbs out of the car. They walk around the hood and stand in front of it, looking out over the vast expanse of trees beneath them. Sonny takes a deep breath in through his nose and is hit with the smell of pine and soil. For a moment he forgets all about this week, about Tom Williams. It’s all a nightmare that fades in the morning light, chased away by the dawning of consciousness. The only thing that’s real to him now is the sunlight on his skin, the clean air. Rafael next to him, hands on his hips as he takes it all in.
After a few minutes Sonny turns and walks back toward the car, lifting a foot to the bumper and hauling himself onto the hood.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Rafael cries from behind him.
“Sitting down.”
“On a million dollar car!”
Okay, fine. That gives him a little pause.
“It’ll be fine,” he dismisses but he does move a little more gingerly, very aware of where his feet are as he climbs to the back of the hood and reclines.
In a second his back is on the windshield and his legs are crossed in front of him, arms folded over his chest while he soaks up the sun and the obvious irritation being glared in his direction.
“I’m immune to that now, you know,” he said and leans his head back on the windshield. “Too many years getting stared down.”
“Are you immune to owing your entire lifetime earnings to a United States Senator?”
“I’m almost certain you didn’t convince a senator to let you borrow a car by saying you wanted to cheer up your ex,” Sonny points out with a laugh. “Which means that you will owe your life savings, not me.”
“She didn’t want money.”
He picks his head up in interest. “Don’t tell me you’ve started turning tricks.”
Even behind the aviators Sonny can feel Rafael roll his eyes.
“No, but I may have agreed to represent her in her next divorce,” he admits and Sonny snorts.
“Yeah, you have fun with that,” he replies and reaches down to pat the hood next to him. “What’re you waiting for, Raf? Get up here.”
Rafael considers it for a few long moments but Sonny can see it as soon as he relents, his shoulders slumping forward and his head hanging. He’s a lot more careful than Sonny was a minute ago, gingerly pushing himself up and scooting the rest of the way until he can sit next to Sonny. Shoulders touching, bodies relaxed. For a little while Sonny is able to forget the year of fighting. All those yelling matches - fine, him yelling - dissolve into nothing as they both take a deep breath and enjoy the view.
Their conversation is easy, littered with playful barbs.
Just like it always has been, Sonny marvels as they wind their way around to Gina’s latest engagement and his mother’s attempts at finding a replacement for when she retires sometime in the next five years. Sharing families hadn’t been new when their relationship ended but now it felt natural to pick back up where they left off, Sonny warmed by the knowledge that Lucia was considering an applicant from Staten Island just because she had a soft spot for Sonny. He thinks back to the sight of Izzy reaching for him five seconds after toddling through the door and something in his chest constricts a bit, even as Rafael is ranting about his mother’s insistence that Rafael convince Olivia to run background checks for her.
Before he knows what he’s doing he’s uncrossing his arms and leaning over Rafael, a hand on the man’s jaw to pull him into a kiss. Something soft and unhurried, like they had all the time in the world. Like they could live in this afternoon for the rest of their lives while the sun sets and the stars start to peek out from behind the fading light of day. Rafael doesn’t stop him when he leans in, when he takes their kiss deeper. When Sonny licks into his mouth and delights in the faint taste of red wine on Rafael’s tongue.
“Sonny,” Rafael starts but his voice is shaky. “I miss-”
“I know,” Sonny says, just because he doesn’t think he can take the words. “I know, I promise.”
Sitting up straighter, Sonny hooks a long leg over Rafael’s hips to straddle him. Their mouths never part, staying together even as Rafael moans at the feeling of Sonny grinding down onto him while his fingers find Rafael’s top button and pull it apart. He doesn’t think Rafael realizes what he’s doing until it’s too late - until all the buttons are parted and Sonny is pushing the pristine white shirt away from his chest. Sonny’s mouth is at Rafael’s pulse before Rafael has a mind to question what they’re doing.
If there was any protest in Rafael it’s silenced by the feeling of Sonny’s lips on his skin, sucking into his collarbone and moving south until he’s drawing a flat nipple into his mouth. Rafael bucks, buries his fingers in Sonny’s hair. Whispers an endless stream of yes into the thick air between them. He pulls on the sensitive skin until his pleas are reduced to noises only and then switches sides, fingers wandering downward until they find the thick round button of his jeans and pushes it through the hole. Rafael is too busy pressing his chest up into Sonny’s mouth to notice him pulling the zipper down, aware of nothing other than the hot pull of his lips until Sonny wraps his fingers around the hard weight of Rafael’s cock.
“Fuck. Fuck, Sonny, ” he moans as he arches up into the touch and Sonny flicks his thumb over the dripping head. “Don’t stop. Please, please don’t stop.”
Sonny wouldn’t have stopped if the world was ending.
Instead he starts a steady pull of his hand over rigid, superheated skin while his teeth graze the hardened nub in his mouth. Rafael’s hands in his hair start to pull and he moans against the sensation, feeling sparks trip across his scalp and heat the rest of his body. He’s hard and straining against the tight denim of his pants but still focuses all his attention on Rafael. Every touch, every breath until he’s jerking away in oversensitivity and Sonny has no choice but to move his mouth lower.
Lower, until he can swirl his tongue around Rafael’s head and enjoy the pathetic whine that escapes from the man’s lips.
He ducks to take more of him, hands digging into the waistband of Rafael’s jeans and jerking them down. His efforts result in the topmost curve of Rafael’s ass bared to his questing hands, even as his mouth does its best to bring Rafael off on its own. Sonny presses his fingers into the firm flesh and groans low and deep, always incredulous at how a man so close to fifty manages to keep an ass so goddamn perfect.
Normally Sonny would be dying to sink into it by now but they don’t have the opportunity so he licks one last stripe up from Rafael’s sac to his very tip and lets his hand take over again, pulling hard and fast now that his way was slicked with his own spit. Rafael’s back bows off the windshield and his head tips back, baring his throat to Sonny’s questing gaze. It’s a sight Sonny hasn’t seen in a year, and one that haunts him frequently. When he’s alone in bed, painfully aware of the empty half of the mattress. It’s a sight he withholds from himself until the very last moment, when the orgasm is so close he can taste it and he needs the last push over the edge.
It’s better than he remembers.
Just when he’s sure Rafael can’t take it anymore, the man reaches up. His large hand cups the side of Sonny’s face and he can see his own reflection in Rafael’s sunglasses. His flushed, wrecked face as he watches Rafael get off with a greedy gleam in his eyes. The touch is soft, though, and Sonny turns into it. Watches as his reflection turns into Rafael’s grasp and presses a kiss to the skin of his wrist. He’s rewarded with a guttural groan and he can’t help himself when he turns a little further into Rafael’s hold and sinks his teeth into the tender skin of his wrist.
Rafael jerks, cries out.
Curses as Sonny keeps flesh between his teeth and starts to suck.
Rafael finishes with a final arch of his hips into the vice of Sonny’s hand, warmth welling to the surface as hot slick coats Sonny’s fingers. He twists his wrist just so, just a little tighter under the head, until the last pearls form at his slit and slip down. When Rafael stills, when Sonny can’t wring another drop from him, he releases his grip and offers his hand to Rafael, who takes it to lap lazily. Between Sonny’s fingers, around his thumb. Sucking at his palm as Rafael’s release runs down it.
Once his hand is clean, once he’s so hard his vision blurs, Sonny lowers his mouth to the stripes of white across the golden skin below him.
Rafael tastes just like he remembers.
Sharp and earthy on the flat of his tongue as he cleans the long ropes of spend from Rafael’s stomach. He’s thorough, resting only when he tastes the salt of Rafael’s skin above the tang of his come. Sonny gives in to sentimentality and kisses a line from the base of his sternum up his chest, against the graying chest hair, against the small golden medal situated above his heart. He stops only when Rafael shivers, his body rocking up under Sonny’s like he couldn’t help it. He takes that as his cue, his lips leaving Rafael’s skin to meet his eyes.
“So,” Sonny starts, waggling his eyebrows. “You really did miss me.”
“I always miss you, Sonny,” Rafael pants and pushes his sunglasses up to rest on the top of his head, lethally green eyes now trained on him. There’s not a trace of teasing in them, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Instead of scoffing he props himself up on his elbows from the windshield and swipes a kiss over Sonny’s open mouth, breathing hard. He murmurs into Sonny’s chin, “Even if I’d never laid eyes on you, some part of me would have known you were missing.”
His heart thumps in his chest. Heavy, heady. Rafael’s honesty is intoxicating, the words singing in his blood. This… this isn’t what Sonny’s used to with him. He’s used to snark, to mocking. Anything to separate himself from the realities of the two of them when the going got rough, when whatever they had wasn’t enough to get them through the day anymore. Now, the man’s vulnerability shakes him to the core.
“Rafael-”
“Do you hear that?” Rafael interrupts, perking his head up.
“Hear what?”
“That sound. It sounds like-”
“- a car coming. Shit! Go, go go,” Sonny yells, clamoring down from the hood while Rafael does his best to tuck himself away and close his fly before sliding down next to Sonny.
They’re barely able to make it into the car before a minivan crawls up to the crest, parking next to them. Sonny does his best to avoid eye contact and instead starts the engine, peeling out in his haste to get them the hell out of there. He waits until they’re down from the crest before slowing down, checking his mirror all the while. Some other day he might have taken this time to beat himself up about his actions, knowing exactly what was possible if they got caught having sex in public. The inner monologue is cut off, though, when he hears the sound of Rafael next to him.
Laughing.
Rafael is laughing.
Head tilted back, shirt open. Jeans still undone. Mouth open and sunglasses still pushed up. He’s laughing deep and loud, until Sonny has no choice but to join in. To laugh just as hard, just as long because they were both idiots. Idiots who couldn’t talk or function unless it had to do with work or sex.
A fact that didn’t matter in that moment, as the sun crept behind the horizon.
It didn’t feel like it mattered at all.
…
Darkness comes soon after their mirth ends, Rafael finally redressing and clipping his sunglasses to the front of his shirt. Sonny is headed for the freeway now, knowing how long it would take to get back to Manhattan once the night crowd started making their way out. He kept the radio low and his eyes on the road, still determined to live in this moment as long as possible because he didn’t know how much longer it would last once they were back in Manhattan.
Rafael doesn’t seem to be having the same concerns, Sonny thinks as he feels the man’s eyes on him in the dark. Before he can spend too much time wondering what was going on in Rafael’s head the man lets him in on it, reaching over the console to rest a hand on Sonny’s thigh. It’s a warm, heavy weight that melds the two of them together. Sonny savors it for only a second before it creeps upward. Following the stitching of his inseam, tracing and exploring until it reaches the hard line of his dick. He’s still keyed up from earlier and he can’t help but notice Rafael licking his lips, determined fingers gripping him over the fabric of his pants.
“What are you doing, Raf?” Sonny asks but he can hear the gravel in his own voice, betraying just where his mind has gone.
“Shut up and drive.”
He doesn’t know how he manages but he does.
His eyes are steadfast on the road while Rafael pulls at his zipper, pulls his button apart. It’s impossible for him to pinpoint every touch, not when he’s focused so hard on the heat of Rafael’s touch, the way he can hear his heartbeat in his ears alongside the miniscule uptick in Rafael’s breathing. Someone else might not have caught it - wouldn’t have recognized the gleam in Rafael’s green eyes in the passing streetlights. Wouldn’t have seen the flush on his neck in the dim light glowing from the dash, but Sonny does.
Sonny knows what it means when Rafael’s tongue darts out to wet his lips as his hand circles Sonny’s length under the thick cotton of his briefs. When Rafael lifts him out and exposes him to the cool air of the cabin it feels like a physical caress and he sucks in a quick breath through his teeth, eyelashes fluttering. His knuckles tighten on the steering wheel when Rafael swipes his thumb over the head of his prick and fights to keep them steady. It’s challenging but doable at first, when Rafael is dragging his hand up and down his shaft.
Harder when Rafael lets him go.
A struggle when Rafael reaches down to release his seat belt.
Impossible when Rafael bends over the console to take Sonny into his mouth.
Sonny grips the steering wheel hard enough to snap it and the leather creaks under his fingers, knuckles going instantly white as Rafael works his tongue around the blunt head and surges forward with a deep gasp through his nose. The world blurs at the edges while he fights to concentrate, to stay in control of the seven hundred horsepower purring beneath the hood. He knew they’d reach the freeway soon, knew this would be dangerous soon.
More dangerous than it already was.
Particularly as Rafael grips him tight at the base, twisting up as his mouth moves to meet his fist. It’s dirty and patently unfair, Sonny thinks as he lowers a hand to card through Rafael’s hair. He’s been hard for way too long, since the first taste of Rafael’s lips on the hood of this car, and there was no way he was going to live through Rafael’s desperate attempts to ruin him. For cars other than his one, for music other than the grating tenor of Paul Rodgers sifting through the speakers. For any man other than the one in his lap, willing and eager to suck him off behind the wheel of a million dollar car as they head back to Manhattan.
He’s doomed.
Sonny swerves, eyes drifting shut.
“God. Christ, Raf. You feel so good,” he whimpers, giving into the urge to thrust shallowly into the molten heat of Rafael’s mouth. “Oh, you feel so good. You’re killing me.”
Rafael huffs a wordless laugh that vibrates up Sonny’s spine, making his toes curl in his shoes as he presses the gas a little harder. He passes the bridge they’d last taken hours ago going at least ten over the speed limit, only partly because Sonny intends to make this as dangerous as possible. Mostly it’s because he’s lost the feeling in the soles of his feet as his body tenses and his muscles contract, his orgasm building up from the tips of his toes and gaining on him faster than he can make peace with it.
“Raf. Rafael , I’m gonna come.”
He means it, he realizes as his mouth drops open and he cries out into the still air of the car. Rafael only moves his fist faster, only tightens his lips around him as he moves. His head falls back on the head rest for a moment before he realizes his mistake and brings it up again.
“Ah! Oh, fuck. Raf...”
Rafael hums, unswayed by Sonny’s pleading. Possibly enjoying it if the way his hand clenches around him and he takes him so deep stars start forming in his peripheral vision. The numbness has crept up the inside of his thighs, the pressure buildling low in his gut. Slow, certain. Ominous. A tidal wave he couldn’t stop if he tried and Sonny is way beyond trying. He’s able to grasp just enough presence of mind to pull to the side of the road. Going too fast, sliding on gravel and spinning out while Sonny keeps his foot heavy on the brake to keep them from plowing into a tree.
Sonny comes before the car even slows to a stop.
Fingers winding into the short hairs at the nape of Rafael’s neck and pulling, hips arching from the leather seat as he pushes deep and floods Rafael’s mouth. He sounds ragged and wounded even to his own ears as he twitches and shakes and empties himself into Rafael’s warm mouth, only reaching his peak when Rafael digs his fingers into Sonny’s thigh and swallows around him. Then his vision whites out completely and the sound of his voice is drowned out by the buzzing in his ears.
When he comes to Rafael is swallowing him down, his coated tongue sneaking out to lick him clean. Sonny’s touch turns soft, the hand on Rafael’s neck a caress rather than a grip. Soon Rafael slows and sits up again, breathing as heavily as Sonny as he licks his lips and Sonny catches the glint of something white on the man’s lower lip in the pale wash of the dash lights.
Before he can stop himself Sonny pulls with the hand on Rafael’s neck until their lips meet, until he can taste himself on Rafael’s tongue as they kiss. He wonders at how he never gets his fill of his; no matter how often they’ve shared kisses like this, no matter how often they come in each other’s arms, it always feels new. It always feels like a surprise slice of heaven that Sonny has a hard time believing really exists.
No matter how often they pull apart, it never feels like the last time.
“Let’s go home,” Rafael suggests in a coarse whisper against Sonny’s lips. It hits Sonny somewhere deep in his gut, because this had been their very last fight. Rafael’s refusing to live together - the surest sign, in Sonny’s opinion, that he had no intention of their relationship going any further.
“Yeah,” he finds himself saying as a smile drifts over his features. “Yeah, let’s go home.”