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“You have the right to remain silent.” Lassiter said as he pulled his handcuffs out and stepped towards Shawn who looked even more destroyed than he felt. This wasn’t right, Shawn was meant to be cocky and teasing, fighting Lassiter and grinding against him. Instead he was standing still, arms hanging limply as Carlton clicked the cuffs around his wrists.
“Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law.” Lassiter had only said these lines the night before when Shawn had pounced on him before Lassiter could close the door. Shawn had immediately listed everything he’d done wrong in the three days Lassiter had been on stakeout and thus too tired to be having ‘happy fun sexy times’ leaving Shawn alone with his hand.
“Lassie.” Shawn whispered sadly.
“You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future.” Lassiter pressed Shawn against his car and stared at him, hoping the man understood that he had to. How many times had Lassiter pressed Shawn against his car to steal kisses before they returned to work, to solving crime and refraining from touching each other at crimes scenes? Too many to be arresting him now.
“If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish.” Lassiter had never had so much trouble reading rights to a criminal before. Lassiter remembered last night, Shawn playing the stubborn criminal while Lassiter interrogated him, obtained the confession and then punished him. He also remembered the way Shawn had moaned and begged for more, he wasn’t doing that this time.
“I’m sorry.” Shawn hung his head and Lassiter nodded sadly. Shawn was sorry but it was too late, Lassiter and a fed had driven up to find Shawn in the suspect’s apartment hacking his computer. Lassiter was sorry too, Shawn wasn’t meant to wear handcuffs unless they were attaching him to Lassiter’s bed, naked and waiting for Lassiter to devour.
“If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney.” Lassiter tried to communicate his own sorrow, he didn’t want to be arresting his lover but the law was the law and he couldn’t ignore everything, couldn’t avoid knowing what happened here.
“Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?” Lassiter asked and a single tear spilled out of Shawn’s eye and trailed down his cheek. Behind him the fed was asking what was going on but Lassiter ignored him, remembering Shawn’s face when he’d ‘confessed’ last night, and wishing he could see it again.
“Yes.” Shawn whispered. “I’m so sorry Lassie. Good news is the fed killed Sam.” Lassiter spun and surprisingly the federal agent didn’t fight as Lassiter cuffed him as well, helping his two prisoners into the car, almost wishing that he could be a dirty cop and offer a deal, let them both go silently, it would be preferable this time.
“Please lie to me.” Lassiter asked quietly, wishing this could be an elaborate roleplay.
As he drove the two back to the precinct Lassiter prayed to a God he’d stopped believing in long ago, he prayed that the court would see how much Shawn had helped. Maybe there could be a deal, some way that Shawn could avoid jail, Lassiter didn’t think Shawn would survive long in jail. Lassiter would beg for clemency on Shawn’s behalf, as Head Detective of the police department Shawn conned it should mean quite a bit, the Chief probably would too, O’Hara wasn’t even a question.
Lassiter usually felt proud or at least satisfied when he walked another criminal in handcuffs to the cells or interrogation room to get a formal confession, having one in either hand was the only way to make it better. Today he felt nothing but sorrow. Buzz immediately ran over to them, chattering and asking what was wrong with Shawn.
“Buzz, I’m not psychic.” Shawn chocked the words out after a few sentences neither of them really heard. “I’m sorry.” Buzz looked devastated so Lassiter handed their crooked federal agent over, it was a big bust but Lassiter was happy to let someone else take it off his hands. “I only wanted to help.” Shawn said as Lassiter helped him sit in the chair and undid the handcuffs. Shawn placed his hands on the table and absently rubbed his wrists. “You understand that right?” Lassiter nodded sadly.
“Wait here.” He ordered and left to find the Chief, she would need to hear the confession too. Lassiter hoped Shawn would keep any crimes they didn’t already know about quiet, the less they had on him the better chance for a deal.
“Chief Vick, Shawn Spencer is a fraud. He’s in interrogation room two.” Lassiter said, entering her office without knocking. For once the Chief didn’t care; sadness and pain flashing across her features before the resignation set in. For all they kind of knew there had never been any proof and it was a pretty long shot for Shawn to have just worked it all out the same as the police, while a small part of them looked forward to finding out how he did it this was not how they wanted to learn.
“Collect detective O’Hara. Maybe we can offer a deal.” The Chief said tiredly and Lassiter nodded jerkily. Maybe his lover wouldn’t spend the rest of his days in prison. Even if Shawn were to remain free the interrogation role play would never happen again, not now that it had happened for real in the unsexy way. That would hit too close to home.
“O’Hara. Juliet. I had to arrest Shawn.” Lassiter said, feeling his numbness slip and the sea of overwhelming emotions swirled in his mind for a second before he reigned himself in. His feelings were shown on Juliet’s face.
“Oh.” She said quietly. They all knew this day would come eventually, the day they had to arrest Shawn Spencer their friend, helper, mascot even. Knowing didn’t make it any easier.
“I’m sorry.” Shawn confessed. No one could hold back tears as they mourned the best lie that had ever lived.