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She lands in National City in the heart of the night.
She used to have a whole welcome committee, people waiting to tend her every needs and bring her up to speed on whatever she would have missed when she was away, a car waiting to take her wherever she needed to be and an assistant ready to go hang out the moon to help smoother the day in whatever possible capacity.
Tonight, however, no one is waiting for her.
It’s somewhere around 1am and the air is cold and crisp.
It burns her lungs when she takes a deep breath but she welcome the slight, natural pain. Condensation escapes her mouth as she exhales and it makes her smile for a few seconds. It smells like something she can’t quite describe, frozen grass, burned asphalt and fresh morning wind and she thinks it’s been too long since she last inhaled this unique scent.
The scent of home.
—
She doesn’t turn on the light as she wanders across her penthouse.
The lights of National City, the glowing of the stars and the few beams of moonlight are enough to give a dim halo to the rooms, one that perfectly fits her melancholic mood.
Everything is exactly how she’s left. The couches are hidden under white sheets and the many rugs that used to soften the hard wooden floor she can feel underneath her bare feet are gone but the furniture is still there, untouched and covered with a thick layer of dust.
She can see it, billowing in the immobile air of the night, caught in the moonlight. Dust and memories, dancing together to remind her of a life that now seems very far away. It smells just like that too, like abandon and regret.
Her nostalgic smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
—
Her empire, as opposed to her penthouse, is bursting with life.
She came early with the hope of spending a few minutes alone in her old office but when she’s stepped out of her private elevator, she’s found the bullpen already crowned with employees doing their job. Some of them had stared at her with a weird look on their faces but they didn’t say anything, simply resuming to their tasks with just a polite welcome back for her.
Now, she’s standing in front of an all too familiar desk inside a room that used to be hers and James Olsen, sitting nonchalantly in her old throne, is smiling warmly at her.
“Miss Grant, it’s good to see you.” His voice sounds genuine and she can tell he is really happy to see her. He stands up and walks across the desk to extend a hand to her and she’s almost surprised he doesn’t engulf her in one of those hugs he seems to like so much.
She shakes his hand and smirks.
“Mr Olsen, I see you took care of CatCo while I was gone. Thank you.”
She hopes he can hear it in her voice because she does feel grateful. She also has a reputation to owe back and she’s not about to start sounding nice and accessible.
“Pleasure was all mine, Miss Grant. Can I assume this is the end of your leave of absence?” He asks and she smiles this time. He’s always been so clever and astute, it’s a wonder why the Daily Planet had agreed to let him go in the first place. It all worked for the better, she thinks.
“It is indeed. I can’t thank you enough for taking care of CatCo while I was away. Let me know where you want to go next and I’ll make it happen. I noticed the drowning of the Tribune, those past few months … If you’re up for a challenge, I can make you the new CEO and I’ll remove the acting hierarchy between you and me, so you can be my equal, my partner and not my employee.” Cat offers and she notices, in the way his eyes sparkle and shine, that he is interested.
“Funny you should mention it, I was going to ask for something similar. I didn’t go as far as removing the hierarchic link though but if it’s okay with you … “ James answers with a smile.
She nods and states “Deal, give me a two days and I’ll make it happen.”
“Hum, Miss Grant, are you back effective immediately?” He asks, a little unsure and she shakes her head no.
“No, Mr Olsen. I was hoping you could finish the week and I’ll work from home to catch up on whatever I missed. Does this arrangement suit you?” She thinks it’s only fair. After all, she didn’t warn anyone she was back.
“Perfect. Thank you, Miss Grant. I’ll make sure my assistant send you everything you need.” James glances sideways towards the desk that used to be Kara’s. She follows the line of sight and notices Eve Tessmacher, taking note as she talks animatedly with someone on the phone.
“You kept Miss Tessmacher. I assume it’s Kara’s doing, because I remember that girl for her incompetence.” She’s amused to see the sparkle of reprobation in James’s look but it’s suddenly replaced by hesitation and something like sadness.
She knows better than to ask thought.
She doesn’t need to, James is sighting and she knows it’s the telltale sign of him preparing to say something unpleasant.
“Miss Grant … There’s something you should know. Snapper Carr fired Kara about six months after you left and there is nothing I could have done to help her keep her job. You told me not to contact you unless it was a CatCo emergency and I assumed Kara’s faith didn’t fit in that category …” He sounds sad, truly sad.
She blinks at him because of all the possible scenarios she had envisioned for Kara Danvers, being fired so soon and after surviving over two years as Cat Grant’s personal assistant wasn’t one.
“Fired? What the hell happened?” Her tone is sharp and demanding. She’s glaring at James but he only shrugs and sighs again. This attitude of his is starting to get on her nerves.
“She tried to run a story, about Cadmus being in possession of the alien register, with all the names and addresses of every alien in National City, by Snapper but she didn’t have enough verified sources so he denied her request. She thought it was a matter of life or death, so she published it online, on a platform in direct competition with CatCo.” James explained, going straight to the point and knowing better than to embellish the facts.
“She did … what?” Cat asks, shocked by what could be described as an act of treason and a professional fault that could even lead to a lawsuit from CatCo’s legal department.
She’s relieved Snapper didn’t go that far, probably out of respect for Kara and her previous work under Cat’s supervision.
“I know. That’s why I couldn’t do anything for her. I had to let her go.” James ends with another sigh and she swears she’s going to lash out at him if he doesn’t stop the martyr act.
“Where’s Kara now?” She asks and she suddenly realizes she’s afraid of the answers.
James doesn’t answer right away and he looks embarrassed for a second. She glares at him and he swallows thickly before finally answering.
“She’s the new editor in chief of the L-Corp magazine. She started out as a reporter on their team but it was two and a half years ago … She arrived at the top of the hierarchy about six months ago now.”
Cat arches an unimpressed brow and then scrunches her nose. “L-Corp Magazine? What the hell is that? Last time I checked, L-Corp was Lena Luthor’s technological company, I wasn’t aware they had a magazine …”
James smiles but it’s bittersweet. “Now they do. L-Corp bought one of our failing competitor, I don’t remember which one I’ll have to look it up and she decided to create a magazine for their brand. At first, it was to help her restore the reputation of her company but then it defied every expectation, it’s actually a very good magazine. It has everything, from scientific vulgarization done in a clever way, selected but important news, some fashions pages, interviews with hot people and it’s … the top of the top, sometimes it’s people even I can’t reach. It’s our biggest competitor now, from a magazine point of view anyway.”
Cat grits her teeth at the admission.
She doesn’t like this situation one bit.
“I see. It’s a good thing I decided to come back then. We have work to do.” She states and her tone leave no room for argumentation. She nods at James and he nods back before going back to his desk.
As for her, she leaves CatCo with a heavy heart.
—
It’s even worse than what she had imagined.
The numbers for the L-Corp Magazines are through the roof and CatCo can only hope to follow this thriving success.
She’s holding the last issue of the damned magazine as she rides the elevator up to the last floor of the L-Corp building.
She doesn’t have an appointment but she doesn’t need one. The receptionist, downstairs, had allowed her in the private lift without even batting an eye and she suspects she’s awaited.
The doors slide open and she’s meet with the acting CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor.
Which is not who she is here to see.
“Miss Grant, it’s nice to finally meet you.” The voice is neutral and the smile on the red painted lips is placated, not entirely fake but far from genuine.
She’s gorgeous, Cat notices. Sure, she’s seen pictures and interviews but the flesh and bone version is something else entirely. It’s a halo that can’t be reproduced in photography or film, made of cold and fire constantly battling. Her eyes are either blue or green and it’s unsettling to not be able to decide. With her white, white skin and bloody painted lips paired with ravenous dark hair gathered in a strict ponytail, Lena Luthor looks like someone who wouldn’t be lost in a fairy tales world. Whether as a villain or a hero, Cat isn’t sure.
“Miss Luthor, the pleasure is all mine. However, I’m not here to see you …” Cat starts and she drifts off, hoping to get rid of the Luthor before she can run into the girl she’s actually here for.
“I know, but Kara isn’t there.” The way she pronounces Kara’s name sets Cat on edges. It’s soft and tender and it’s pure fondness.
One might say love, but Cat isn’t prepared for that realization to hit her.
She’s been so focused on how she could get Kara back with her, she didn’t stop for one minute to consider that her former assistant might have actually moved on since then.
“Oh.” She doesn’t say anything more, knowing better than to give the other woman ground to start a discussion she absolutely doesn’t want to have. Yet, Lena’s eyes harden and sparkle with something that tells her she won’t be able to escape it.
“Miss Grant, it took Kara almost a whole year to get over the fact she’s been fired from your company. I simply wanted to make sure you won’t offer her another position at CatCo. It would open old, unhealed wounds and she doesn’t need it, not now.” The end of this sentence sounds a little off to Cat. She narrows her eyes at the other CEO and frowns. She knows when she hears a relevant untold information, it’s all about body language and the Luthor, as professional and clever that she is, can’t quite hide her nervousness.
“What do you mean not now?” Cat jumps right in, pursing her lips and not backing off. They’re still standing in front of the elevator and she realizes this was a set up.
“She’s the executor in chief of my magazine and she’s under a lot of pressure at the moment. She doesn’t need you to waltz back in her life to dangle a position at CatCo in front of her.” Lena states and her voice is neutral and calm but her words are daggers in Cat’s sides.
It’s bullets digging into her skin because while anyone else witnessing this exchange could have misinterpreted this for a new employer protecting her employee from a former one, Cat knows better.
It’s a lover, protecting another lover.
—
“Mom? Mom, are you listening to me? Mom?”
Her son’s voice finally brings her back to the present. She’s been analyzing her wounded feelings and boiling emotions for the past three days, since the moment she met Lena Luthor and she had some trouble staying focused on anything else.
“Yes, sweetheart?” She answers, trying very hard to take her mind away from the image of Lena and Kara as a couple to pay attention to her son.
He’s looking at her with an arched brow, unimpressed by her attempt. He’s a fine young man now, tall and already developing some muscles, thanks to him being an active member of the lacrosse team of his new school. He thinks he’s going to make Captain soon and he’s working very hard for that to happen. He has friends, plenty of them and he’s even got himself a girlfriend, a sweet but funny girl that reminds her a little of Kara. He’s growing up and she’s proud of him.
“Mom. You’re thinking of Kara again.” He says and there is no point in denying it. He’s been there when she’s finally admitted her unrequited feelings for her former assistant. He hadn’t been surprised, not at all. He’d just told her she should act on those feelings, before it was too late.
Little did they know it was already too late.
She’s been such a fool, to think she could come back and resume things where she’d left them.
Of course, in three years, everything had changed.
“I know. I found out that she’s been fired from CatCo, about six months after we left National City. She did something … something unforgivable for everyone at CatCo to just ignore it. Now, she’s working for the L-Corp magazine …” She notices he doesn’t seem surprised and she wonders how much she’s missed on his life. She sighs and then finishes “She’s apparently dating Lena Luthor, too.”
She sees the realization sparkles in his baby blue eyes and he looks a little sad. She hates it.
“I’m sorry mom. I’m sorry.” She shrugs and forces a smile. He sees right through it though, Carter Grant, walking lie detector.
“Did you see Kara at all?” He asks and she shakes her head no.
“No, I met Lena and she was the one to tell me to back off. She’s right, I can’t exactly barge into Kara’s life three years later and offer her another job at CatCo. Not when I never reached out to her. I promised I would, I never did.” She sighs.
Everything hurts but she’s mostly angry at herself. For so many reasons.
“I’m sorry, mom. I really am.” Carter offers with a sad smile. She nods and then squeezes his hand when he takes her.
She doesn’t feel at home anymore.
—
A month goes by and she doesn’t see Kara Danvers at all.
She notices Supergirl is still saving the day whenever she’s needed.
She’s back being the reigning Queen of all media and James Olsen is now the acting CEO of the Tribune, like promised. She’s diving into her work, having missed it for three years, and it’s like finally coming up at the surface, gasping for her.
She finds that she misses something though, or rather someone.
Then one day, there’s a knock on her door and she looks up to glare at the unfortunate soul that dares to interrupt her without being announced first.
Baby blue eyes stare back at her and there’s the shadow of a faint smile on those lips she’s dreamed of kissing, one too many times.
“Kara” She breathes but then she looks at the whole picture and she hears the shatter of her heart as loud and clear as if it was actually made of glass.
Kara Danvers is pregnant.
—
“Miss Grant, I heard you wanted to see me.” Kara says and her voice is a little guarded, far away from the bubbly enthusiasm that used to drive her mad because she found it endearing.
“I see Lena brought you up to speed.” Cat answers and she makes a point to use her sharpest tone. It doesn’t seem to have any effect on Kara though.
“She did, indeed.” Kara says and she takes a few steps inside the office, bringing a flood of memories back in Cat’s mind. Although, the Kara of her memories was thinner, smiling and she had a little spring in her steps.
This one is moving cautiously, hands curled around her curved belly and she’s not smiling.
“I assume congratulations are in order …” Cat points her chin at Kara’s belly, not even bothering to be subtle.
Kara narrows her eyes but she doesn’t say anything. No thank you, no calling out on the lack of actual congratulation. Instead, she simply takes a seat in front of Cat’s desk and the sigh of relief she lets out is rather loud. It makes Cat worries a little for Kara’s health but then she scowls at herself inwardly. It’s not her role.
“You went all the way to L-Corp, once you found out I had been fired from CatCo … I should be flattered, I guess.” Cat swallows thickly. Kara’s voice sounds disabused and a little cynical, she had no idea it was part of the girl’s repertoire in the first place.
“I …” She tries to explain but Kara cuts her off.
“It’s okay, you were away, diving into the unknown or so you said. I’m a big girl, I dealt with it. What I don’t understand, is why you went to L-Corp in the first place? You could have called, you know. You didn’t, for three years, but now that you’re back, you could have called to ask to meet me.” Kara says and Cat realizes she sounds annoyed. She wonders if it’s Lena’s doing or if Kara is genuinely annoyed at her. She feels her heart breaks a little more at the thought.
“I do everything in an extreme way. Either I’m not here at all or I’m invading the space and when I learned what had happened to you … I thought I should come and apologize in person.” Cat answers, letting go of the sharp tone to go with something more neutral.
Kara blinks and then narrows her eyes.
“You came to … apologize? Don’t you think it’s a little late for that? Plus, I did something wrong for CatCo, they had every rights to fire me and I’m okay with the decision, now. I don’t need you to apologize. Well. Not for this at least.”
Cat can’t hide her surprise quickly enough and Kara lets out a dry chuckle.
“Ah, you have no idea what I’m talking about. Let me spell it for you, Miss Grant. You left, out of the blue, after promoting me and even though I did tell you, multiple time, that I don’t do well with change. I had you to guide me, through critics and half-insulting comments but it was guidance nonetheless and then suddenly, you were gone. Now, you are of course free to do whatever you want to do but I thought … I thought maybe, maybe you would reach out sometimes. A nice word of even a mean one for my first byline, some advice here and there, a word from you from time to time. That’s all I was hoping and instead, I just … silence.” Kara states and she insists on the last word, whistling the S and the C at the beginning and the end.
She’s far from done and Cat stays silent, again.
“I struggled to find my balance in the world after so much change at once and then, I was meet with a dilemma. I could stick with the rules of fair journalism and have many innocent aliens killed or I could go behind CatCo’s back and run the story to save said lives. I was lost and I didn’t know what to do. I needed you but I was scared to reach out, after that radio silence you were giving me. I made a choice, it got me fired and there I was, without balance again. So yeah, maybe an apology for putting me through all that change without even asking me if I was ready, that would me nice. But then again, I’m good now, I don’t really need it anymore.” Kara finishes and her eyes are quiet, a little dull.
They used to shine with hope and life and now, they’re a little hollow.
It’s painful to watch.
Silence takes over the office and Kara gently strokes the curve of her belly, not taking her eyes off Cat’s face.
Cat feels numb. It’s like nothing can hurt her anymore, not after that whole blast coming from Kara’s mouth. She had no idea she’d done so much damage. She never really thought back on her decision to leave, she’d just trusted James to handle CatCo and Kara to rise to the occasion.
How wrong of her.
“I’m … I’m sorry.” Cat finally whispers and Kara only shrugs. The gesture is one of rejection and it cuts Cat deeply into her soul. It’s a snapshot of how much she’s broken Kara’s nature.
“I know.” Kara sighs and suddenly, she doesn’t look angry or bittersweet anymore. She looks exhausted, tired to the bone and ready to fall asleep. She looks small and weak and Cat wonders if she’s about to cry.
“I’ll be okay, eventually. You being here just … bring back memories.” Kara says and beneath her glasses, her baby blues eyes sparkle with something like melancholia.
“I don’t feel like I actually belong here, anymore.” Cat confesses and she realizes it’s the pure truth now. She hadn’t felt at home since the moment she found out about Kara not being part of CatCo. Silly, how a former assistant can have such weight in a thriving empire.
“It’s been three years, you might want to give yourself more than a few weeks to get back in the game for real.” Kara retorts and the sass in her tone is so new, Cat’s eyes widen a little.
“Brazen! That’s a color I’m not sure to like on you, last time didn’t do you any good.” Cat carefully says, joking a little but the memories of what had occurred last time still fresh in her mind.
“Ah, but this time it’s only because I grew up and went through some really rough patches.” Kara replies and there’s a quiet admission there, one Cat catches immediately.
“I assume your backup solution is flying around in a skirt for you, then. It crossed my mind when I first saw you …” Cat asks because she needs to be sure it’s not Kara, in that suits. It may not be her role to worry but she still does.
“Yes. Temporary solution until …” Kara trails off and she smiles softly at her belly. Cat wonders what she can hear. Those superpowers are going to come in a handy, for the future mother, she thinks.
She still can’t fully wrap her mind around the fact Kara is going to give birth.
“Congratulations, Kara. I’m really happy for you.” Cat finally says and she’s glad it’s genuine.
She is happy for Kara, even if she’s heartbroken over the fact she’s not part of that happiness.
—
“Now would probably be a good time to tell you that the baby here is not mine.” Kara says with a little smile.
Silence punctuates her words, as Cat doesn’t quite comprehend them right away.
They’re at Cat’s penthouse, a week after their exchange in the CatCo office.
Kara had agreed to come for dinner, just the two of them, as a formal apology on Cat’s part. It’s late and they’re facing each other in the living room, Cat sipping at her wine on an armchair and Kara being comfortably settled in the angle of a couch.
“I’m sorry, what?” Cat asks and she winces at how confused she comes across.
Kara laugh and then explains “It’s a long story but basically, it’s Lena’s baby. She and her wife were trying to have a child but then her wife got killed, five months ago. I was … I was too late to save her.” Kara’s face is an open book now, grief and guilt etched all over her features. She shakes her head and then continues her story. “She died in my arms and she was pregnant, I could feel it. A tiny tiny human being at the time but it was there … And then … I have no idea how it happened but I … sort of … transferred the baby into my body. I am carrying it ever since, for Lena.”
Cat blinks once. Twice. Then a whole lot more times.
“You … You got impregnated by … by touching a pregnant woman?” She asks, confused and a little skeptical.
“I don’t think it’s the most important factor actually. The … The dying part, played a bigger role in the fact that I was able to … to … uh, transfer the baby into my body. Apparently, it’s something a few selected Kryptonians can do but the information I have on this are very limited. I assume that, because I live under the yellow sun, it gave me that ability, like all my other superpowers …” Kara says and she’s careful to speak slowly, for Cat to absorbs everything she’s explaining.
It’s a lot and Cat’s mind is reeling from so much unfamiliar science.
“You’re carrying Lena Luthor’s baby … “ Cat states and then, she blinks and swallows thickly. There’s a question she’s dying to ask but she knows she shouldn’t.
“Does that mean … does that mean you’re not … dating Lena?” Cat blurts and she bites the inside of her mouth but it’s too late, the words are out. She sounds hopeful and she hates it, now is clearly not the time nor the place to admit her feelings.
“What? No, I’m not dating Lena! Why would you think that?” Kara sounds a little taken aback by the question.
Cat thinks back of how protective the Luthor had sounded when she was there to meet Kara and she realizes she didn’t read the situation correctly. Lena didn’t protect Kara as a lover at all, she was only trying to keep Kara close and under the light of the latest development, Cat could totally understand why.
“She was … very protective, when I came by to see you. I thought … I thought …” Cat tries to explain but she can feel Kara’s gaze on her and it’s distracting.
“No, I don’t date Lena. I’m taking care of her baby, in a rather unexpected turn of event but otherwise, we are just friends. She was the one to offer me a job after CatCo, once I was ready to go back into the real world. She’s a very, very dear friend but that’s it. Her wife was … Her wife was a friend too.” Kara whispers the end of the sentence, unshod tears sparkling in her baby blue eyes.
Cat puts her glass of wine on the coffee table and then stands up to go sit next to Kara. She doesn’t hesitate one second before pulling the younger woman into her arms for a hug, one that is long time overdue.
They fall asleep like this, tangled up together on the couch.
—
“Stop pacing the floor like this, you’re giving me a headache.”
Stormy undefinable eyes are suddenly glaring at her and she simply offers a sweet smile in return.
Lena Luthor is a mess, digging a hole in the concrete floor of the DEO’s hallway as she paces back and forth and forth and back again. Cat, more poised, is sitting on a plastic chair that had been brought for the occasion by a full geared agent. She’s worried too, of course she is but she doesn’t like to show it so she just fidgets with the pair of glasses she’s holding in her hands.
“Ladies, could you please, please relax just a little?” A deep voice chimes in and Hank suddenly walks around the corner. He looks a little bothered and Cat has to bite the inside of his lips not to laugh. She suddenly remembers that he can read minds and she wonders what Lena’s mind looks like right now. It’s probably full of worries and anxiety.
“Exactly, yes, and it makes it hard for me to focus.” Hank says to her and Cat blinks a few times before remembering she’s not immune to his mind reading, not like Kara.
“I don’t get it, she’s your girlfriend, how can you be so calm!” Lena asks and paces a little faster.
Cat sighs and simply answers “She’s Supergirl. She’ll be fine and your baby will be too. Have a little faith, will you?”
Lena glares at her again but she doesn’t answer. Truth is, Cat is every bit as nervous and anxious as Lena, she’s just way better at hiding it.
It’s hours later when Alex comes out of the medical bay where she was helping Kara deliver a baby. She looks exhausted but she’s smiling and her eyes are sparkling.
“Congratulations Lena, you have a healthy, beautiful pair of twin girls!”
For a few seconds, Lena blinks and then she bursts into tears, happy ones. Cat is quick to stand up to hold her.
“Come on, let’s go see your daughters.” She says as she guides the other woman towards the doors.
As she brushes Alex, she hears “Kara’s fine too, she’s asleep but she’s okay. They’re all okay.”
It’s only then that her tension goes away and she offers a grateful smile to Alex.
—
“How come you didn’t know it was a pair of twins?”
Cat asks, curled against Kara’s bare skin in their bed, three weeks after the superhero gave birth to two beautiful little girls.
“I knew. Everyone in the medical team knew for months but I asked them to keep it a secret. Evan told me once they didn’t want to know until the birth day and I thought it would … be nice, honor that wish.” Kara answers with a sad smile.
Cat feels her heart ache for Lena and Kara, both living with the ghost of Lena’s wife.
“I wish I had met her.” Cat softly whispers and Kara lets out a little chuckle.
“She was kind of a Lois Lane, you would have hated her on the spot” She explains with a smirk and Cat shrugs.
She’s already falling asleep but she knows Kara is going to be awake for a while.
“I love you, Kara Danvers.” She whispers again, barely forming the words but she knows Kara can hear them all the same.
A pair of strong arms close around her waist and a kiss lands on her shoulder.
Then, she feels the words caress her ear.
“I love you too.”